Bamboozled
by
Spike Lee
BLACK SCREEN
We HEAR the voice of MALCOLM X.
MALCOLM X (V.O.)
You've been hoodwinked. You've
been had. You've been took.
You've been led astray, run amok.
You've been bamboozled.
His followers ROAR.
CUT TO TITLE:
"BAMBOOZLED"
CUT TO CRAWL:
WHITE LETTERS ON BLACK
WE HEAR the VOICE of PIERRE DELACROIX.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Satire. 1a. A literary work in
which human vice or folly is
ridiculed or attacked scornfully.
B. The branch of literature that
composes such work. 2. Irony,
derision or caustic wit used to
attack or expose folly, vice or
stupidity.
INT. APARTMENT - MORNING
WE are in the living quarters of PIERRE DELACROIX. The
windows overlook the Brooklyn Promenade and the majestic
lower Manhattan skyline.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Bonjour, my name is Pierre Delacroix.
I'm a television writer, also a
showrunner, a creative person.
We see a tall figure move in and around the space.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I'm one of those people responsible
for what you view on your idiot box.
CLOSE ON
Monogrammed cuff sleeve - the initials P.D.
2.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The problem is not enough of you
have been watching.
CLOSE ON
Monogrammed shirt pocket - the initials P.D.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
With the onslaught of the internet,
video and interactive games, nine
hundred channels to choose from and
whatnot, our valued audience has
dramatically eroded.
CLOSE ON
Razor cuts a path through a white foam on a black face.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
To put it in much more simple
terms...
Delacroix YELLS.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Like rats fleeing a sinking ship.
CLOSE ON
The handsome face of Pierre Delacroix.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
People tuning out by the millions.
Delacroix turns to the CAMERA and addresses US.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Which is not good.
EXT. TENEMENT - LOWER EAST SIDE - MORNING
The tenement building is boarded up, condemned, bombed out,
but a home, a shelter nonetheless.
INT. TENEMENT - MORNING
People to our surprise live in here. It is a commune. The
homeless, people who have been left out, forgot about,
written off, and don't matter. The fringes of society.
CHEEBA, a skinny Puerto Rican male, tries to wake a
slumbering body under a mass of old newspapers.
3.
CHEEBA
Yo, let's get to it. You don't
dance, we don't eat. Simple as that.
The mass begins to move.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
That's right. We slow. We blow.
We snooze. We lose.
INT. CNS TOWER - MORNING
MANRAY, a young African-American dread-lock male, and Cheeba
are getting set up in front of the entrance to the
CONTINENTAL NETWORK SYSTEM building. CNS is one of the
fledgling, upstart new networks, trying to battle with ABC,
NBC, CBS, FOX, WB, and UPN.
ANGLE ON
Entrance. Cheeba is putting the portable floor down on the
sidewalk. Manray sits on the curb, taking the sneakers off
and putting on his tap shoes; bottle caps are on the soles
of the shoes instead of real taps.
CHEEBA
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
I know everybody is in a hurry to
work, ready to begin another day in
this rat race. But don't sleep us.
I'm Cheeba and I introduce to you
the world renown MANRAY, the man
with the educated feet.
Manray takes a small bow. A few, not many, people have
stopped to look.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
As we continue our world wind tour,
we would like to give you a little
somethin', somethin' before you go
off to make that money. I give you
Manray.
CLOSE ON
Manray, who starts to do his thing, and when he starts doing
his thing attention must be paid.
ANGLE ON
Crowd, as Manray gets busy, people gather to watch.
ANGLE ON
4.
Delacroix, he is about to walk into the CNS building but
stops to check out Manray.
CLOSE ON
Manray, he pounds out some intricate steps and freezes at
the end of the move.
ANGLE ON
Crowd, who applaud as Cheeba unfolds a brown shopping bag
and holds it out in front of them.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
Thank you very much but please
don't go without giving us some
cheddar, cheese, money. We prefer
two's than fews.
People are digging into their pockets.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
I would like to add that both of us
are homeless. Not that it means
anything.
A WOMAN is about to dump some change in the brown paper bag.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
I said homeless. Ladies and
gentlemen. Senorita, do you know
what that means?
Cheeba looks at her and she quickly pulls out a 5-spot from
her purse and drops it into the bag.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
Muchos gracias.
Cheeba works his way over to Delacroix.
DELACROIX
Good morning, Cheeba.
CHEEBA
Good morning to you, Mr. Delapot.
DELACROIX
De-la-croix.
CHEEBA
Y'know what I mean. Got a gig yet
for Manray and I yet?
5.
DELACROIX
Not yet.
Delacroix hands Cheeba a ten dollar bill.
CHEEBA
Gracias.
Delacroix moves towards the revolving doors of CNS.
DELACROIX
Manray, Sloan says you're too
talented to be dancing on the street.
MANRAY
Well do something about it.
INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING
Delacroix is the lone person of color in the elevator.
INT. CNS - MORNING
Delacroix gets off the elevator, takes out his ID, slips it
through the scanner and enters the reception area of CNS.
DELACROIX
Good morning, Marie.
MARIE
It's not gonna be a good morning
for you if you don't get into
Dunwitty's staff meeting.
DELACROIX
What staff meeting?
MARIE
The staff meeting that started 30
minutes ago.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING
Delacroix walks, or better yet, slithers into the staff
meeting that is already in progress. TWENTY WRITERS sit
around an oval table, all are Caucasian except Delacroix,
again he's the lone person of color, the "fly in the
buttermilk."
DUNWITTY, Senior V.P. of the Entertainment Division of CNS
looks at Delacroix and waits for him to sit down before he
continues.
6.
DUNWITTY
Monsieur Delacroix, this very
important meeting commenced...
Dunwitty looks at his Rolex Chronograph - Daytona Model.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
...exactly thirty-two minutes ago.
DUNWITTY
I'm sorry I'm late.
DUNWITTY
Do you know how much information
can be dispensed in one minute alone?
DELACROIX
I didn't find out about this very
important staff meeting until...
Delacroix looks at his Jaeger-LeCoultre.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Four minutes ago.
DUNWITTY
So are you telling me everyone knew
about this get-together except you?
DELACROIX
I wasn't told about this until
Marie informed me as soon as I got
off the elevator.
All eyes are on Delacroix and he feels it.
DUNWITTY
People, you can attempt to pull a
Rodman like our friend Delacroix,
but I guarantee you'll be sent
packing just like him.
Dunwitty via remote turns off the lights and turns on an
overhead projector.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
These are the standings. Read 'em
and weep. As you can plainly see
the Continental Network System is
languishing.
CLOSE ON
Ratings charts.
7.
DUNWITTY (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Look at 'em people. We are BOOTY,
CA CA. We are DOO-DOO. Doo-doo on
a stick, if you will.
CLOSE ON
Dunwitty.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
I do not like to be the laughing
stock of the broadcast industry. I
have pride and people, you better
start getting some too. These
numbers have to go up.
Dunwitty turns on the lights. JOAN, one of the writers,
raises her hand.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
Question?
JOAN
So what do you want us to do?
DUNWITTY
What I want everyone to do is write
some material that is FUNNY. The
junk you've been writing is about
as funny as a dead baby. It's not
funny, it's not new. It's not sexy.
It, it, it...
CLOSE ON
Fish.
FISH
Sucks.
ANGLE ON
Conference room.
DUNWITTY
SUCKS. Thank you, Fish. This
meeting is over but I want everyone
to seriously think about what I
said and how you can deliver.
People scurry out.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
Monsieur Delacroix, in my office now.
8.
INT. HALLWAY - MORNING
The writers, beat down, come out of the conference room and
move past SLOAN HOPKINS, a highly attractive African-
American "sistuh."
Delacroix sees Sloan and holds her arm as they walk. He
talks under his breath.
SLOAN
How was it?
DELACROIX
Why didn't you tell me about this
staff meeting?
SLOAN
Nobody told me anything.
DELACROIX
What good are you if you don't tell
me stuff like this?
SLOAN
It wasn't my fault. If I would
have known, I would have known.
INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING
Delacroix enters his corner office, which has huge action
photos of ALI, JORDAN, GRIFFEY, TYSON, AARON and JABBAR on
his walls, it is also decorated with African art throughout.
ANGLE ON
Office. Dunwitty looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows
overlooking mid-town Manhattan.
DUNWITTY
Do you know what C.P. Time is?
DELACROIX
C.P. Time is Colored People's Time.
The stereotypical belief that
Negroes are always late. That
Negroes have no sense of time -
time except when it comes to music
or dance.
They both laugh.
DUNWITTY
Let's sit down over there.
9.
Dunwitty and Delacroix sit on the sofa.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
I'm sorry about my blowup but I
have to have a whipping boy every
meeting.
DELACROIX
I understand. But again, in all
honesty I was not informed.
DUNWITTY
Forget it. I believe you're my
most creative person I've got on
staff. You're hip. You know
what's happening. I got some corny
white boys and girls writing for me.
Delacroix doesn't join him in his laughter because he
doesn't know how to take that comment or where Dunwitty is
headed with it.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
I understand Black culture. I grew
up around black people all my life.
If the truth be told I probably
know "niggers" better than you,
Monsieur Delacroix. Please don't
get offended by my use of the
quote-unquote N word. I got a
black wife and three bi-racial
children, so I feel I have a right
to use that word. I don't give a
damn what Spike says, Tarantino is
right. Nigger is just a word. If
Dirty Ole Bastard can use it every
other word so can I.
DELACROIX
I would prefer you not use that
word in my presence.
DUNWITTY
NIGGER. NIGGER. NIGGER. NIGGER.
Delacroix pounces on top of Dunwitty like a cat on a mouse
and gives him a quick BROOKLYN BEAT DOWN.
DELACROIX
Say it again. C'mon, say it again.
CLOSE ON
Dunwitty. He's a bloody pulp.
10.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix.
He straightens his tie.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Who's a nigger now?
POW. This is a fantasy in Delacroix's mind. We go BACK TO
REALITY. Everything's how we left it.
DUNWITTY
The material you've been creating
is too white bread. White people
with black faces. The Huxtable's,
Cosby, revolutionary. But that's
dead. We can't go down that road
again.
DELACROIX
I don't agree. The Negro middle
class does exist, and it's rich
material for a dramatic series or
sitcom.
DUNWITTY
I'm telling you it's not.
He goes to his desk, picks up Delacroix's scripts and starts
throwing them one by one against the window.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
The middle class black family moves
into a white suburban enclave. The
middle class black family moves
into a small Southern town that is
run by the KKK. The middle class
single black father raises his
teenage daughter. The middle class
single black father raises his
teenage daughter. The middle class
single black mother raises her
teenage son. And so on and so
forth. It's too clean, too
antiseptic...
DELACROIX
...to white? I still feel all of
my scripts would make good shows.
11.
DUNWITTY
Delacroix, wake up, brother man.
The reason why they didn't get
picked up was because nobody - and
I mean NOBODY - niggers and crackers
alike wants to see that junk.
DELACROIX
I've never been given a fair shot.
DUNWITTY
You got your head stuck up your ass
with your Harvard education and
your pretentious ways. Brother
man, I'm blacker than you. I'm
keepin' it real and you're frontin',
trying to be white.
DELACROIX
I'm an oreo, a sell out? Because I
don't aspire to do HOMEBOYS FROM
OUT OF SPACE, SECRET DIARY OF
DESMOND PFEIFFER, A PJ's or some as
you might put it, some "nigger"
show? I'm a Tom? I'm whiter than
white and you're blacker than black?
Is that what you think?
DUNWITTY
That's exactly what I think. I
want you to create something that
people want to see. Let's be
honest, the majority of the people
in the country are deaf, dumb and
blind and I'm including 35 million
African-Americans. You know and I
know "niggers" set the trend, set
the styles. This is a golden
opportunity now. These idiots have
to be led to the water.
DELACROIX
I'm not sure if I can deliver what
you want.
DUNWITTY
You will or you'll be back at BET
so quick you'll never know what hit
you. I need a mid-season
replacement and pronto. It will be
on the fast track.
12.
DELACROIX
What is it you want from me? Some
plantation follies? Some sitcom
that takes place on a watermelon
patch? Some show that follows four
nigger generations of junkies and
crackheads? You want me to go back
to the ante bellum days?
DUNWITTY
Yes! Yes! Yes! I want a show
that will make headlines, that will
have millions and millions of
households tuned in, glued to their
televisions every week. I want
advertisers dying to buy on this
show. I'm gonna squeeze this show
out of you if it kills you.
EXT. TENEMENT - NIGHT
WE SEE a street lamp, and coming out of it are some wires.
WE FOLLOW the wires into a tenement building.
The residents have tapped into a street light courtesy of
CON EDISON for power.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
Cheeba stands in front of the makeshift kitchen, which
includes a hot plate, and prepares a gourmet meal of a tasty
Spanish dish. The clean apartment is furnished with stuff
people have thrown out that they picked up on the street.
MANRAY
I'm starvin' like Marvin.
CHEEBA
My world famous, famous world Arroz
con pollo will be ready very soon.
MANRAY
Hurry up, I wanna watch HBO.
CHEEBA
Did we get our bill yet?
They both laugh.
MANRAY
I guess that will come with the
rent, gas, and Con Ed bills, too.
13.
CHEEBA
Ahh, the luxuries of life.
MANRAY
Yo, check it. This is good and all
that but one day soon I want to
have much Benjamins so I can have a
nice crib and pay all my bills.
You hear me.
CHEEBA
Chill, I'm the brains behind this
outfit.
MANRAY
And I'm the feet.
CHEEBA
Yo, you gotta show some patience.
You want me to snap my fingers and
presto chango - you're an overnight
sensation. Son, there is no such
thing.
MANRAY
I'm tired of waiting.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
He sits in front of a large flat-screen television, watching
the Yankee game and eating his takeout Chinese food. On top
of the monitor, he has attached a sign that reads "FEED THE
IDIOT BOX."
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT
She sits in front of her television, hand on remote, flipping
channels and eating takeout Chinese food.
INT. CHEEBA AND MANRAY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
They both are devouring the chicken with rice, as they watch
bootleg HBO.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Delacroix sits at his desk, a ream of white bond paper in
front of him, a box of number-two pencils and an electric
pencil sharpener.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
I was never good at performing
under the gun.
14.
CLOSE
Pencil after pencil gets inserted and sharpened to a knife
like point.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Well, this wasn't a gun, it was a
bazooka and it was pressed dead
blank right against my dome.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix, staring at the blank ream of paper. It is very
intimidating.
CLOSE ON
Monitor. Bernie Williams is at the plate for the New York
Yankees.
CLOSE ON
Sign atop monitor. Again, it reads "FEED THE IDIOT BOX."
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT
She too is blank. A screen saver bobs and weaves on her
laptop.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT
Delacroix grabs a pencil and put it to paper.
CLOSE ON
Paper. He doodles.
INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Manray screws out the bare light bulb which is the sole
source of illumination and lays down onto his mattress on
the floor.
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT
Sloan closes her laptop and jumps into her bed.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT
Delacroix is already in the bed, the lights are out.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix, who's wide awake.
15.
INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Manray and Cheeba are both sound asleep.
CLOSE ON
Cheeba, he has a sheet pulled over his head.
CLOSE ON
Manray, who's sawing logs, snoring loudly.
OFF-SCREEN, WE HEAR A RUCKUS, A BIG COMMOTION. VOICES
yelling. Police sirens, cars and trucks.
ANGLE ON
Apartment. Cheeba and Manray run to the window and look out.
THEIR POV
The street is filled with police cars, vans and wagons.
Helicopters hover overhead with their searchlights on the
building.
CHEEBA
Oh snap! It's a raid!
Cheeba and Manray jump into their cloths.
EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Cops in riot gear storm into the tenement. A police chief
barks over a speaker system.
POLICE CHIEF
Please evacuate this building. All
of you are illegal residents of
this condemned building. Please
leave immediately, by order of the
Mayor of New York City, Rudolph
Giuliani.
INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Stairwell. It's bedlam. The hundreds of SQUATTERS who have
been living here all making a bad dash trying to flee the
NYPD as they "bumrush the show."
ANGLE ON
Floor. Cheeba and Manray try to push against the crowd.
16.
CHEEBA
Not this way. Out through the fire
escape.
The COPS are running up the staircase. People try to escape
with as many of their belongings that they can hold.
MANRAY
My tap shoes.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT
DELACROIX
EUREKA!!
He jumps out of bed.
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT
SLOAN
Oh my God!!!
She too jumps out of bed.
EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING
It is a MADHOUSE, BEDLAM. It's PANDEMONIUM. The Squatters
are being seized as soon as they come out of the tenement.
Searchlights go back and forth, as the cops make their
arrests and fill the "Paddy" wagons.
ANGLE ON
Street. The Squatters are like ROACHES in a dark kitchen at
night, scrambling as the lights turn on. Do you remember
those old "RAID" commercials. "Let's scram, IT'S RAID!!!"
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The phone rings.
CUT TO SPLIT SCREEN
CU OF DELACROIX AND SLOAN
Delacroix picks it up. They yell in unison.
DELACROIX
Manray!
SLOAN
Manray!
17.
DELACROIX
How did you know?
SLOAN
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
DELACROIX
How can this be? You and me at the
same time, the exact same thought.
It's scary.
SLOAN
The idea was out there in the
universe. Now what?
INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Cheeba and Manray run down the fire escape and just elude a
group of cops.
ANGLE ON
Fence. They lay still as the Fuzz run past them.
MANRAY
We ran out without my shoes and the
floor. I gotta get my stuff. What
about our savings?
CHEEBA
Are you crazy? The joint is
crawling with cops now. You wanna
go to Rikers? Go to the hoosegow?
Manray looks at his friend, he knows he is right, at least
this time.
EXT. CNS BUILDING - EARLY MORNING
Delacroix and Sloan sip hot coffee as they stand in front of
their office building.
DELACROIX
Manray was under our nose the whole
time.
SLOAN
Do you know how you will use him?
DELACROIX
Not yet, but this thing will never
get made.
18.
SLOAN
You lost me.
DELACROIX
Dunwitty wants a Coon show. And
that's what I'm going to give him,
it's going to be so racist, so
negative, he won't have the balls
to put it on the air. Hence I'll
prove my point.
SLOAN
What point is that?
DELACROIX
The point being that him, the
networks don't want Black people on
television unless they are buffoons.
SLOAN
Sounds risky to me.
DELACROIX
You getting cold feet?
SLOAN
I'm in till the end.
DELACROIX
Good. I'm going to need your
support.
SLOAN
Can't you just quit? Walk away?
DELACROIX
And lose out on my money? The only
way I get paid is if I get fired.
And that's what I intend to do.
EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEW DAY
It is pouring rain and Delacroix and Sloan huddle under an
umbrella.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Everything was going according to
plan. I was working on the outline.
Dunwitty was off my back for now.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix.
19.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But there was a catch. A big catch.
CLOSE ON
Sloan.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Manray and Cheeba were nowhere to
be found.
EXT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - DAY
Manray and Cheeba are soaking wet. They stand together in a
doorway, trying to stay out of the elements.
ANGLE ON
Street. They run in the downpour.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
It was like they had disappeared
off the face of the earth.
CLOSE ON
Cheeba.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I had no contact numbers, no
address, no beeper.
CLOSE ON
Manray.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
No nuthin', no clues...
EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEXT MORNING
It is a sunny and pleasant morning. Again, Sloan and
Delacroix hold vigil.
SLOAN
Maybe something happened to them.
Maybe they're lying in an alley
bleed to death.
DELACROIX
Manray better not be bleeding to
death. I need him. After we're
done he can do whatever he wants to
do, until then, he's ours.
20.
SLOAN
You're beginning to sound like
Dunwitty.
EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - MORNING
Manray and Cheeba stand across the street from their former
residence. All of the doors and windows have been boarded
up and two cops stand watch. They both look defeated, dirty
and hungry.
INT. CNS LOBBY - NEXT DAY
Sloan gets off the elevator and sees a skirmish. TWO
SECURITY GUARDS are trying to escort Manray and Cheeba out
of the building.
CHEEBA
His name is Delapoint.
SECURITY GUARD #1
WE have no one by that name.
CHEEBA
Delapot. Dela-something.
SECURITY GUARD #2
De La Soul ain't here either.
Let's go. Out. Off the premises.
Manray turns around and sees Sloan.
MANRAY
Sloan! She knows us.
The security guard stops.
SLOAN
It's alright. They are associates
of Mr. Delacroix.
SECURITY GUARD #1
Sorry, Ms. Hopkins. They both
walked in off the street without an
appointment.
SECURITY GUARD #2
Do you need an escort?
SLOAN
That won't be needed.
21.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY
He sits in front of his TV and watches a tape of the old
"Amos 'n' Andy" show. Sloan leads Manray and Cheeba in.
DELACROIX
Eureka! Where've you been?
He hugs them both.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Sloan and I have been looking all
over for you.
CHEEBA
You'd take no offense if we called
you DeLa for short?
DELACROIX
No offense.
CHEEBA
Manray needs a job.
Delacroix smiles at Sloan.
MANRAY
We got evicted from our home.
We've both been on the streets for
the last week.
CHEEBA
We was coming to see you.
MANRAY
If it's not too much trouble could
you order us some food?
CHEEBA
We're starving.
DELACROIX
I apologize. What would you like
to eat? Anything you want.
TIME CUT
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY
A feast of McDonald's is taking place. Cheeba and Manray
are stuffing Big Macs, Fish Deluxes and large french fries
into their mouths. They were famished.
22.
DELACROIX
I have this concept for a TV pilot.
There's no guarantee it will get
made but regardless, you'll still
make some money.
CHEEBA
How much?
DELACROIX
First things first. I have to know
if Manray is up for this.
MANRAY
What do I have to do?
DELACROIX
Some tap dancing, some singing.
MANRAY
Where do I sign?
CHEEBA
What kind of show is this gonna be?
DELACROIX
Different.
MANRAY
How different?
DELACROIX
Trust me. Of course I still have
to pitch it to my boss, but we'll
have an answer one way or the other.
MANRAY
DeLa, I'm aboard. As long as I get
to hoof and get paid too!!!
DELACROIX
That's right. Money turns the wheel.
CHEEBA
What about in the mean time? Not
the in between time?
DELACROIX
You'll both get an advance and you
can stay with me.
MANRAY
Bet.
23.
DELACROIX
I would like to change your name.
MANRAY
To what?
DELACROIX
You're now Mantan.
MANRAY
Mantan? I don't even care as long
as I'm dancing. Which reminds me,
I need some new kicks.
EXT. BROADWAY - DAY
Manray holds two Capezio shopping bags of shoes as he walks
next to Sloan.
MANRAY
I never had a really real pair
before.
SLOAN
You've never had any formal
training, either?
MANRAY
Not a class, not a thing, just
picked stuff up by myself.
SLOAN
I wish I had your natural talent.
God only makes that visit once in a
while.
MANRAY
You sing and dance?
SLOAN
A little. I just graduated from
NYU film school. Cinema studies.
MANRAY
So what's up with you and DeLa?
SLOAN
What do you mean?
MANRAY
Are you and him kicking it?
Knocking boots.
Y'knowwhatI'mtalkin'bout.
24.
SLOAN
No, we're not knocking boots. I
got this internship while I still
was at NYU, DeLa was impressed with
my get up and go and hired me to be
his assistant.
MANRAY
I'm sure that was the only thing he
was impressed with. You look
beautiful like that.
SLOAN
If that was suppose to be a
compliment, I thank you.
MANRAY
You're welcome. You shouldn't give
up on performing.
SLOAN
Why do you say that? You've never
seen me.
MANRAY
I think that would probably make
you the happiest. When I'm hoofing,
I mean really doing my thing,
hitting it, nothing compares to
that feeling in the world.
SLOAN
I envy you. That's the way I want
to feel about my work.
EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT
Sloan walks from the subway to her block.
ANGLE ON
Street. A huge black Chevy Suburban follows her, all the
windows are tinted jet black, you cannot see it all into it.
She notices the vehicle and starts to walk faster.
ANGLE ON
Corner. As Sloan tries to cross at the corner, the Suburban
pulls up in front of her, blocking her path.
ANGLE ON
Suburban. A tall black man jumps out of the Chevy. This is
BIG BLACK.
25.
BIG BLACK
Li'l Sister.
ANGLE ON
Corner.
SLOAN
You idiot. You almost gave me a
massive coronary.
BIG BLACK
I didn't mean to scare you like that.
SLOAN
Well you did.
BIG BLACK
Give me some?
SLOAN
I'm not huggin' you in the middle
of the street. You must be crazy,
Julius.
BIG BLACK
Whoa, hold up li'l sis'. I done
told you 'bout that. Julius ain't
my name, you better recognize
Hopkins was our slave name. My
true name is...
SLOAN
I'm not callin you Big Black Africa.
Mommy and Daddy named you Julius.
BIG BLACK
BIG BLACK is the first name and
AFRICA is the last.
He hugs her, she becomes lost in his huge arms and laughs.
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT
Big Black is rummaging through his sister's refrigerator.
BIG BLACK
Damn, Sis, you don't keep no food
up in here in dis' piece.
SLOAN
I order out mostly. So what do I
owe this visit to?
26.
BIG BLACK
My group we need some exposure.
Was wondering if you could hook a
brother up?
SLOAN
Hook you up? The Mau-Mau's? You
must be smoking. Why in the world
would I want to hook up a bunch of
red, black and green flag-waving
pseudo revolutionairies?
BIG BLACK
So now I see where you're coming
from. Just because we ain't
rapping about Gucci, Timberland,
Rolex, Benz, Cristal, ho's and
bitches, we're pseudo.
SLOAN
Who are you revolting against?
BIG BLACK
We're revolting against the powers
that be, that been enslaving the
minds and hearts of all people of
color. And we won't stop rapping
till we bring about the overthrow
of the government of the U.S. of A.
SLOAN
Please.
BIG BLACK
If you were really down you would
get us together with that boss of
yours. What's his name again?
SLOAN
Delacroix.
BIG BLACK
Yeah, him.
SLOAN
What makes you think he would write
a show about the Mau-Mau's.
BIG BLACK
C'mon, why not? The Monkees had a
show. Look at all that other junk
that's on TV. We got underground
cult following.
27.
SLOAN
You don't have the demographics.
BIG BLACK
So are you telling me that you
wouldn't even introduce me to
Delacroix or set up a meeting? I'm
talking 'bout me, your only brother,
ya own flesh and blood, hook a
brother up, youknowwhatI'msayin'.
SLOAN
That'swhatI'msayin'. I'm not
blowin' my young career, brother or
no brother, for you or anybody else.
BIG BLACK
There is a name, a term for your
kind, the likes of you. Back in
slavery days, you would be
classified as a house nigga.
SLOAN
If you think I'm a house nigga then
that's your prerogative. You got
your ways to affect change, I have
mine. And I would appreciate it
very much if you took ya field
nigga ass out of my house.
BIG BLACK
My own sister throwin' me out. I
hope to seeya later when you get ya
mind right. Don't bother letting
me out.
SLOAN
That's mighty black of you.
Big Black slams the door.
INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING
One by one, the team enters the office and sits down on the
sofa.
DUNWITTY
Delacroix, I'm glad you got your
mind right.
DELACROIX
It's right and tight. Good morning,
let me introduce you to everybody.
You know my assistant, Sloan.
28.
SLOAN
Hello.
DELACROIX
This is Cheeba.
CHEEBA
Nice to meet you.
DELACROIX
And this is Manray.
MANRAY
How do you do?
DUNWITTY
Good. I like the names. Very
theatrical.
DELACROIX
We're all happy to be here and I'm
going to paint a picture for you.
DUNWITTY
I'm wid it.
DELACROIX
I've done a lot of soul searching
and once again you are right. In
my previous work it's been all
surface, superficial. I have never
really dug deep. Not anymore. As
Mark Twain fully understood satire
is the way. Race has always been a
hot button in this country's
history and it needs to be pushed
harder. If we are ever to live
side by side in peace and harmony.
It's about promoting racial healing.
DUNWITTY
Go on. Good so far.
DELACROIX
I know you're familiar with minstrel
shows. They came about at the turn
of the 19th century. It was a
variety show in which the talent
was in blackface - singing, dancing,
telling jokes, doing skits.
Dunwitty, I ask you when was the
last time there was a good variety
show on the air. Carol Burnett?
HeeHaw?
29.
DUNWITTY
Word!!!
DELACROIX
So let's take this great form, this
very American tradition of
entertainment into the 21st century,
into the new millennium.
DUNWITTY
The name of the show?
DELACROIX
It is called: MANTAN - THE NEW
MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.
DUNWITTY
I'm lovin' it. You know how I know?
Because I'm getting a boner, my
Johnson is hard, no disrespect my
sister.
Dunwitty starts walking around his office, pumping his first.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
I'm feelin' dis'!
DELACROIX
It will take a lot of courage and
backbone on the part of the CNS to
get this on the air. In fact, I
would understand fully if the
subject matter is deemed too
risque, too controversial.
DUNWITTY
Don't worry about that, that's my
department. Now who do we cast?
We need a star. Can Whoopi sing or
dance?
DELACROIX
I don't know if Whoopi is the way
to go.
DUNWITTY
Are these our two stars, sitting
here in front of my nose? Which
one is Mantan again?
MANTAN
That's me.
30.
DELACROIX
And Cheeba is Sleep 'n' Eat.
CLOSE ON
Cheeba. A look of surprise is on his face. Complete, utter
surprise.
DUNWITTY
That's a great handle.
DELACROIX
Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. Two real
coons. I know we're way out there
but it's satire.
DUNWITTY
I want you take it there. All the
way to the edge and back.
Sloan looks at Delacroix with concern.
DELACROIX
Every week we follow the trials and
tribulations of two real coons -
Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. The Dusky
Duo.
DUNWITTY
What are there character traits?
DELACROIX
Ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and
unlucky.
DUNWITTY
Exactly!
DELACROIX
Mantan is an uneducated Negro who
always by some stroke of
unbelievable stupidity makes his
best laid plans go haywire.
DUNWITTY
And Sleep 'n Eat is his comical
sidekick?
DELACROIX
Yep, you guessed it.
DUNWITTY
This could be bigger than "Amos and
Andy."
31.
DELACROIX
Protest finally forced "Amos and
Andy" off the air. Could stop us
from ever getting on.
DUNWITTY
Let'em try. I will kill to make
this happen.
Delacroix looks at Sloan.
DELACROIX
Negroes would be in an uproar.
DUNWITTY
So what. We would just give the
NAACP a donation that would be the
end of that. No such thing as bad
publicity. So what. Earlier you
said singing and dancing.
DELACROIX
Mantan right here is a gifted
hoofer. He has educated feet.
DUNWITTY
Who are the other characters?
DELACROIX
Do we have characters? How about
Honeycutt, Snowflake, Rastus,
Nigger, Jim, Sambo, Jungle Bunny,
and how could we forget Aunt Jemima.
Dunwitty is dying with laughter. He's the only one.
DUNWITTY
We gonna hit 'em wid da BOMB DICKEY
on dis' one. What's the setting?
DELACROIX
In the projects. Like Eddie
Murphy's "The PJ's."
DUNWITTY
Ya first bad move. Projects been
done. That's one of the problems
now, everything, movies, TV, are
set in the urban jungle, da hood.
That's so tired. Mantan's
Millennium Minstrel Show should be
set on a plantation. In Alabama.
(MORE)
32.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
And every week these Alabama porch
monkeys will make us cry, make us
laugh, make us look at our own
humanity. Make us feel good to be
alive.
DELACROIX
I don't know about that plantation
angle.
DUNWITTY
What are you talkin' 'bout? It's
the move. Stay wid me now. We're
movin' fast. What does everybody
else think about this?
SLOAN
We'd get a lot of mail.
She laughs, it's a fake one at that.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Dunwitty, there wouldn't be
another show like it.
CHEEBA
I've always wanted to be on
television.
DUNWITTY
I like you. Sleep 'n Eat. That's
funny. Mantan, how do you feel
about performing in black face?
MANTAN
As long as the hoofing is real,
that I can do my thing, I can
blacken up. Let me hit it, beats
and rhythms, express myself.
DUNWITTY
Show me a little somethin' somethin'.
Mantan starts to put on his new tap shoes.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
Delacroix, you dug deep, deeper
than deep.
Mantan is ready.
33.
MANTAN
I'm gonna give you just a taste.
My tap shoes are brand new. I
haven't trained 'em yet.
He starts to work out.
MANTAN (CONT'D)
Rhythms, rhythms, rhythms. Beats,
beats, beats. No Fred Astaire
here, baby. Just rawness.
Dunwitty clears his desk of everything, just knocks stuff
flying onto the floor. And Mantan taking the cue, jumps up
on his desk and really starts hitting it.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix, as he watches his creation, it's not a happy face.
CLOSE ON
Mantan, he's bringing it home. With the final move, he
leaps off the desk into the middle of the office, and FREEZES.
ANGLE ON
The office.
DUNWITTY
That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout.
That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout! He's
off the hiz-hook!
DELACROIX
We think so.
DUNWITTY
Sleep 'n Eat, what do you do?
CHEEBA
I play the straight man. I do some
singing and dancing also. I also
manage Mantan.
DUNWITTY
Oh you do so?
CHEEBA
I'm the man behind the man behind
the man.
DUNWITTY
You da man.
34.
CHEEBA
No, you da man.
DUNWITTY
I'm gonna run upstairs with this.
If CNS doesn't want to do this,
somebody else will have da balls to
pull the trigger. I want to thank
each and every one of you. This is
great, Delacroix. I'll get back to
you later today.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Cheeba and Mantan are walking in midtown Manhattan. They
both have a pep in their step, money in their pockets, and a
roof over their heads.
CHEEBA
Life is beginning to look up. It's
all good in da neighborhood.
MANTAN
You might be right.
CHEEBA
Why are you smiling so?
His smile is a mile wide.
MANTAN
I'm not smiling.
CHEEBA
Naw, not you. It can't be. That
hottie Sloan Hopkins.
MANTAN
It's that bad, huh? It's all over
my face.
CHEEBA
No shame in ya game. She got ya
nostrils, ya chnoz is wide open.
Sloan's what we certified ladies'
men call low hanging fruit.
MANTAN
Certified ladies' man, huh?
CHEEBA
She's also moorish.
35.
MANTAN
What's that?
CHEEBA
Moorish. Ya get a little taste of
dat booty, ya wanna get some MORE.
MANTAN
Seconds and thirds, too.
CHEEBA
Sloan is all 'dat. I try her. I'm
a tri-sexual.
MANTAN
You'd try anything. I got first
dibs. You get ya own stuff.
CHEEBA
Naw, just jokin'. That's you.
That's you.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Delacroix sits with Manray and Cheeba in the living room.
DELACROIX
I want you to start using the name
Mantan and not Manray if you don't
mind.
MANRAY
Why?
DELACROIX
You have to start getting into your
character.
CHEEBA
At the risk of sounding ignorant...
Cheeba turns quickly towards Manray.
CHEEBA (CONT'D)
...don't say a word but who is this
cat Mantan you keep talkin' 'bout?
Delacroix hits the remote button. The TV and VCR are powered.
CLOSE ON
Television. We see MANTAN MORELAND in some obscure movie.
36.
DELACROIX (O.S.)
This is Mantan Moreland.
CLOSER ON
Television. Mantan reacts to seeing a ghost.
DELACROIX (O.S.) (CONT'D)
He was a clown, a buffoon but he
was funny.
ANGLE ON
Living room.
CHEEBA
That ain't funny.
MANRAY
DeLa, I don't know 'bout this.
DELACROIX
Gentlemen, the show, our show will
be satirical. You know what that
is, don't you? Trust me on this one.
CHEEBA
We might need some mo' money behind
this.
DELACROIX
That can be done.
MANRAY
Mantan?
DELACROIX
Mantan!!
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT
THE MAU-MAU's in full effect, bob their heads to the funky
track that blasts from the studio monitors.
ANGLE ON
Studio. They pass around joints that look like they've been
on steroids and 64 ounce JUGULARS of DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR -
liquid crack, the preferred alcoholic beverage of GHETTO
NEGROES. All the members of the MAU-MAU's are AFRICAN
AMERICAN except one. There is one Caucasian member. He
goes by the name 1/16th BLACK, the engineer tech-whiz kid
computer geek.
37.
1/16TH BLACK
Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for
this joint.
BIG BLACK
How 'bout...
Big Black takes a long, long drag on a joint, then he
quickly empties a 64 oz. in one swing without missing a
beat, without missing a head nod.
BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
Black Iz Black?
The whole group goes crazy with the title of the song.
DOUBLE BLACK
That's da bomb.
MO BLACK
That's gonna give me some
inspiration.
JO BLACK
Gonna make me get my flow on.
BIG BLACK
We should call dis da BLACK album.
Everyone starts high-fiving each other.
SMOOTH BLACK
Yo, check it out. We have never
conformed to none of the white
man's rules and regulations and
later for that ole slave owner
Webster. Therefore I respectfully
submit BIG BLACK that we from now
on, hence forth and whatnot spell
BLACK: B-L-A-K, not B-L-A-C-K.
HARD BLACK
I feel dat.
1/16TH BLACK
B-L-A-K. BLAK. The darkest of all
colors, the opposite of white. A
member of an African people. But
check it out, here's where the grey
people try to get slick with their
trickery. Listen to the full
connotations. GLOOMY. DEPRESSING.
EVIL. WICKED. ANGRY. SULLEN.
(MORE)
38.
1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
BLAK OUT. BLAK LISTED. BLAK BALL.
Need I say more.
BIG BLACK
B-L-A-K it is.
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
A middle-aged African-American woman is working in the
kitchen. Delacroix sits at the kitchen table talking with
her. This is his MOM, ORCHID DOTHAN.
Orchid puts a plate of food in front of her son.
ORCHID
You must think I'm some kind of fool.
DELACROIX
It looks delicious.
ORCHID
You hear me talkin' to you. The
only time you come up here when
something is wrong.
DELACROIX
C'mon, Mommy, don't start with that
I'm an ungrateful son stuff.
ORCHID
I said no such thing. All I said
is that something must be wrong.
She sits down with him.
ORCHID (CONT'D)
How's the food?
DELACROIX
Can't beat it with a hammer. Well,
since you asked, it looks like I
may have a new show, a pilot being
shot.
ORCHID
That's wonderful. Isn't that what
you always wanted, a show of your
own?
He talks between mouthfuls.
39.
DELACROIX
It was. It is. But this is a
different kind of show.
ORCHID
If at first it's not what you want,
just work that much harder, Peerless.
DELACROIX
Mommy, please don't call me that.
ORCHID
Son, Peerless is your name. Now
you might be one of these Hollywood
types, change your name and all
that but Peerless Dothan is on your
birth certificate.
DELACROIX
I know what's on my birth
certificate. You heard from Daddy?
ORCHID
I guess he's still on the road.
What kind of show is this? Are
they some Negroes in it without
being buffoons?
DELACROIX
To answer your question, there are
a lot of Negroes in it and what is
your definition of buffoons?
ORCHID
Peerless, I didn't raise a buffoon.
We have enough of those on
television already.
DELACROIX
Please let me know when you hear
from Daddy, get a number or
something.
ORCHID
I will. And good luck with your
show. I hope it's a huge success.
You've worked very hard. You
deserve it.
Delacroix gets up from his seat and hugs his mother.
40.
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A celebration is going on as Delacroix, Sloan, Cheeba and
Mantan sit at a table.
ANGLE ON
Table. Cheeba and Mantan are giddy. Sloan looks at
Delacroix who is visibly not happy.
SLOAN
You okay?
DELACROIX
I feel like somebody hit me upside
da head with a sledgehammer.
CHEEBA
DeLa - what's the matter with you.
MANTAN
You ain't happy about the green
light?
SLOAN
People show their happiness in a
lot of different ways.
MANTAN
Well, homeboy, looks like he's at a
funeral.
DELACROIX
I'm happy for all of us. It's just
we have a great responsibility now.
The pressure is on.
MANTAN
Pressure? DeLa, you don't know
what the hell real pressure is.
SHEEETT!!! This is lightstuff.
Now when you scramblin' out on the
street in da January winter and the
hawk is talkin' to you with NO
money and NO prospects of money
anytime soon, now that there is
some pressure.
DELACROIX
I didn't mean it to sound like that.
41.
MANTAN
That's the way it came out. Let me
ask you one question. Have you
ever been in want, in need your
entire privileged life?
DELACROIX
Now I'm privileged?! Why? Because
I didn't grow up on food stamps and
welfare? Because I didn't call
home a cardboard box? No, I never
ever went to bed hungry and I'm
proud of it, too. Whoever told you
that living in poverty earns you
somekind of badge of honor flat out
lied to you.
MANTAN
The point I'm trying to make is
that this is a blessing. It's
going to be fun doing this show and
we should all look at it that way.
Delacroix gets up from the table and leaves.
CHEEBA
What's wrong with him?
MANTAN
Must be the pressure.
Cheeba and Mantan laugh, give each other some dap. A highly
attractive PUERTO RICAN female walks over to their table.
This is JESSICA GRILLO.
JESSICA
Sorry I'm late.
Cheeba and Mantan are in awe.
SLOAN
Hey, girl. This is my best friend,
Jessica Grillo. I invited her down
to celebrate with us.
CHEEBA
I'm Cheeba.
MANTAN
I'm Mantan.
They both rise.
42.
CHEEBA
Please, have a seat.
MANTAN
Sloan never told us she had friends
like you.
CHEEBA
In fact, we never knew she had any
friends period.
SLOAN
Later for you.
JESSICA
She has a lot of friends
CHEEBA
Male?
JESSICA
Yes.
MANTAN
A lot?
SLOAN
Enough.
Sloan and Jessica laugh at the expense of these guys.
JESSICA
I propose a toast.
She grabs an empty glass and pours herself some champagne.
JESSICA (CONT'D)
To the success of your show. Good
luck.
Everyone raises their glasses. CLINK!
SLOAN
Excuse me.
Sloan gets up from the table and takes after Delacroix.
ANGLE ON
Steps. Sloan catches up with Delacroix at the rest room area.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Wait here.
43.
She goes to the ladies' cubicle.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix. He leans against the wall.
ANGLE ON
Bathroom door. Sloan comes out, grabs him inside.
INT. LADIES' ROOM - NIGHT
Sloan locks the door.
SLOAN
What is your problem?
DELACROIX
My problem is MANTAN THE NEW
MILLENIUM MINSTREL SHOW.
SLOAN
Why did you even come up with that
shit if you didn't want it made?
DELACROIX
It was the principle. Dunwitty had
to be enlightened. I was making a
point. I take pride in my work.
Plus, I already told you I wasn't
gonna walk away from my money.
SLOAN
Fuck da money. Why do through all
this effort? Why? Are you looking
for love from Dunwitty? For
respect? Dunwitty and his likes
don't give a goddamn about you. So
now what are you gonna do?
Someone begins to pound on the bathroom door.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Will you please let me in? I have
to use the toilet.
SLOAN
You're gonna have to hold it in
because we're not finished yet...
She returns her attention to Delacroix.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
...QUIT then.
44.
DELACROIX
Even if money wasn't an issue,
Dunwitty will still go ahead
without me and that could be more
dangerous.
SLOAN
What's the chances of MANTAN being
picked up?
DELACROIX
I wouldn't bet against it. My
Negroidal ass is stuck between the
proverbial rock and a hard place.
SLOAN
Like I said, all this for some
twisted, distorted sense of
principal. Dunwitty, he just
tolerates your Negroidal ass, he
doesn't respect it.
The banging starts again.
MANAGER'S VOICE (O.S.)
Please open this bathroom door
immediately. You are being very
inconsiderate.
Sloan unlocks the door and they exit.
ANGLE ON
Ladies' bathroom. Sloan and Delacroix file past the strange
looks of the manager and FIVE WOMEN waiting to use the
bathroom as they rush in.
INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING
DELACROIX
I strongly feel that a Negro should
direct this. This kind of satire
is a high wire act in a gale storm.
One misstep and we're doing "Amos
and Andy." Only a Negro will have
the sensitivity and cultural
awareness to navigate this dangerous
terrain.
DUNWITTY
To hire someone solely on their
ethnicity, gender or religion is
not right. It's un-American. I
will hire someone who is most
qualified for this particular job.
45.
DELACROIX
I was hoping to perhaps direct some
episodes myself, if not the pilot
soon after.
DUNWITTY
I want a hot, young white director.
Maybe the kid, that pheenom who
just did that hot new sexy Madonna
video.
DELACROIX
You're telling me some white boy is
gonna direct this pilot?
DUNWITTY
I just want you to meet him. Keep
an open mind.
DELACROIX
Besides, what does he know about
Negroes?
DUNWITTY
Probably nuthin', but that's why
it's such a sexy way to go.
Sometimes an outsider has a fresh
new outlook, a different unique
perspective. A black director,
y'know what he's gonna do given the
subject matter? With this kid, the
possibilities are endless.
DELACROIX
What are his qualifications besides
being a white male and directing a
hot new sexy freaky Madonna video?
DUNWITTY
If Spielburg can direct "The Color
Purple" and "Amistad", our whiz kid
can direct the Mantan pilot.
DELACROIX
That's exactly my point. Has he
even directed actors before in
anything?
DUNWITTY
No!!! Just meet the guy. That's
all I'm asking. Look, I'll even
let you choose your own musical
director. You can have that.
46.
DELACROIX
In the immortal words of Derrick
Coleman, WHOOOPDEEDAMNDOO!!!
DUNWITTY
Derrick Coleman, he possessed all
the talent in the world, coulda,
shoulda, been a great ballplayer
but alas D.C. didn't want it bad
enough. Delacroix, do you want it?
Bad enough to kill for it? Do you
want it that much.
Delacroix stares at Dunwitty.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY
Delacroix, followed by Sloan, enters the room full of writers.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix
He surveys the room.
P.O.V. - DELACROIX
All of the writers are Caucasian - male and female. Every
single last one.
ANGLE ON
Conference room. Delacroix and Sloan sit down at the head
of the long oval table.
DELACROIX
Good morning, for those of you who
don't know me, I'm Pierre Delacroix.
I'm running things and this here is
my assistant Sloan Hopkins.
SLOAN
Hello.
DELACROIX
I've never worked with any of you
and you've never worked with me so
we'll be starting from scratch.
I'm a fair person, a straight
shooter and I don't hold my tongue.
Everybody up in here should know I
had nothing to do with you being
hired.
(MORE)
47.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
I would have preferred at least one
other Negro writer. Any questions?
Comments?
MONA raises her hand.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Yes, your name?
MONA
He, I'm Mona.
DELACROIX
Hi, Mona.
MONA
I perfectly understand where you're
coming from. As a minority I can
relate to your struggle also. But
I think you should give us all a
chance. We want this pilot to be
successful just as much as you.
Please don't be so quick to judge
us based only on our whiteness.
DELACROIX
Oh, is that what I'm doing?
BETH jumps in.
BETH
I think because of our background
we can bring a unique perspective
to Mantan.
SETH pipes in also.
SETH
A fresh pair of eyes. A new look,
insight, new angle that hasn't been
seen before.
DELACROIX
I've heard this somewhere before.
David raises his hand.
48.
DAVID
My name is David. I do think it
would be better to have some
African-American writers but for
whatever reason they are not here.
I don't know if they couldn't find
any people with experience, they
wouldn't work for the pay or
refused to work for the show. I
don't know and nobody in this room
probably knows either. I'm looking
at this as a unique opportunity.
We all should. I'm a damn good
writer and I'm ready to go to work.
Everyone in the room applauds. Sloan looks at Delacroix.
FREEZE FRAME
DELACROIX (V.O.)
This thing was rigged, the deck was
stacked, the fix was in. Could Don
King be near? Good thing Sloan had
my back. She's my rock. This was
going to be a whole lot of work.
UN-FREEZE FRAME
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
David, I appreciate your comments.
Anybody got an ideas? Everybody
just talk out loud.
MONA
I've always liked the format of
Rowan and Martin's "LAUGH-IN."
ANNA
That could be cool.
KIRK
What about something like "The
Jeffersons?" I grew up in Idaho so
that's how I got my understanding
of black people. Through Sherman
Helmsley, LOUISSEE!!!.
DAVID
"Good Times" was better. Kid Dy-no
mite!!!
49.
AARON
You pole are going to far back for
me. I think we have to go after a
hipper feel. Like the stuff Eddie
Murphy used to do on "Saturday
Night Live."
PETER
Or Martin. You go girl.
JEFF
What about the black exploitation
films? No one has ever tried
making that work on TV.
DAVID
And for reason. Have you ever seen
"Scream Blacula, Scream?"
MONA
I think, and Delacroix will agree
with me, the politics of this show
have to be right. We should always
be laughing with our characters,
not at them.
CLOSE ON
Delacroix, as the writers continue to ramble on, he lets
them jerk off.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
The mission was accomplished. All
of these people left the room
thinking they would have real input.
I was writing this pilot alone,
myself, me.
EXT. STREET - DAY
A long line reaches down the block and around the corner.
It's a "cattle call," open auditions for "Mantan."
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Now came the fun part, finding the
talented performers to cast in the
show.
WE DOLLY past the hundreds and hundreds of unemployed
African American actors, many of them dressed in various
costumes.
50.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Everybody and their mother was
trying to get in, trying to be seen.
Trying to get their piece of the
rock.
INT. REHEARSAL SPACE - DAY
Delacroix sits in the first row with Sloan, RUTH, an African
American casting director. LEVI, the musical director, also
black, is on the stage at the piano.
AUDITION MONTAGE
WE SEE singers, magicians, dancers, acrobats, comedians,
rappers. Some good, most are terrible. Many come out on
stage dressed like mammies, Stepin' Fetchit, slaves, pimps,
ho's, hustlers, and basketball players. It is a cavalcade
of all the stereotypical roles one has seen.
ANGLE ON
Space. LULU, a spoken word artist, goes her rendition of
"WAY DOWN ON THE SWANEE RIVER."
DELACROIX (V.O.)
This was amazing. Who had told
these Negroes that this was what we
were looking for? The same old
image, it damn for sure wasn't me.
CLOSE ON
Lulu.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Were people this desperate to get
work?
CLOSE ON
Delacroix. He interrupts Lulu.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Thanks, Ms. Lulu.
LULU
But I had several more poems.
DELACROIX
That's good. We've seen enough.
We'll get back to you.
Lulu scurries off stage.
51.
RUTH (O.S.)
Next.
The Mau-Mau's run onto the stage, yelling and screaming.
They are all fired up, in fact several fire their 9mm's into
the ceiling.
ANGLE - TWO SHOT
Delacroix and Sloan.
SLOAN
This is the group I was telling you
about.
DELACROIX
Which one is your brother?
SLOAN
The big one.
CLOSE ON
Ruth.
RUTH
Let's get started here.
ANGLE ON
STAGE
Big Black preens around on the stage.
BIG BLACK
The Mau-Mau's are up in dis place.
That's right, the Mau-Mau's.
DELACROIX (O.S.)
What's your name?
BIG BLACK
My righteous name is BIG BLACK.
DELACROIX (O.S.)
And what are the Mau-Mau's going to
do for us today?
BIG BLACK
We gonna drop some knowledge,
wisdom and understanding. The Mau-
Mau's, we be scientists. We drop
science.
52.
CLOSE ON
Sloan, who's trying to disappear. If she sits any lower
she'll be under her seat.
ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX
We're ready when you are.
ON STAGE
BIG BLACK
Microphone check. One. Two. One.
Two. One. Two. Hold up. I gots
to give my peeps some props.
Brothers introduce yourself.
DOUBLE BLACK
Yo, I'm Double Black.
BLACK BLACK
Check it, Black Black.
SMOOTH BLACK
I'm Smooth Black, the lover in dis'
piece.
HARD BLACK
Hard Black.
MO BLACK
He's Jo Black.
JO BLACK
And he's Mo Black.
1/16TH BLACK
I'm last but not least, you can
call me 1/16th Black.
ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX
Good. We're really blacked-oops,
backed up, so shall we begin?
ON STAGE
BIG BLACK
Microphone check. One. Two. One.
Two. Yo, the name of this joint is
BLAK IZ BLAK. Hit it.
53.
The booming track starts and the Mau-Mau's do their thing,
bouncing all over the stage. The lyrics about everything
that is BLAK!!!
ON DELACROIX
A look of disbelief is on his face.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Needless to say, the Mau-Mau's did
not fit into our plans.
ON SLOAN
She's in shock, horrified.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
As I told Sloan, there's a black
sheep in every family.
BACKSTAGE - LATER THAT DAY
Delacroix is screaming at the top of his lungs.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Finland. This is a travesty. A
debacle. A mockery.
INT. LOBBY
Dunwitty approaches Delacroix in the lobby of the rehearsal
space. He is with JUKKA, a young, very young blonde kid.
DUNWITTY
Delacroix. This is the director I
was telling you about. Jukka Laks.
JUKKA
So nice to meet you.
DELACROIX
Nice to meet you. If you don't
mind me asking you - how old are you?
JUKKA
I just turned twenty.
DUNWITTY
I'm gonna leave you two creative
geniuses alone.
DELACROIX
Dunwitty, don't leave.
54.
Dunwitty is out.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Where are you from?
JUKKA
Helsinki, which is the capital of
Finland.
DELACROIX
Finland.
JUKKA
You know, Finlandia vodka? Yes?
DELACROIX
Yes, I know. Jukka, have you ever
seen a Negro person before? Even
had a real conversation with a real
Negro before?
JUKKA
What's a Negro.
INT. BACKSTAGE
Delacroix continues to rant and rave. Sloan is unsuccessful
in attempting to make him be quiet.
DELACROIX
A fiasco. A disaster. A boondoggle.
An abomination.
INT. LOBBY
DELACROIX
Did you just ask me what's a Negro?
I'M A NEGRO!!!
JUKKA
Ahhh!!! I never heard of that term
before. I thought you were BLACK
of African-American. No?
DELACROIX
Well before there was BLACK or
AFRICAN AMERICAN, there were
NEGROES. I'M A NEGRO.
JUKKA
Thank you for correcting my
ignorance. I'm looking forward to
working side by side with you. I
feel we make a good team.
55.
DELACROIX
How did you get this gig?
JUKKA
My visual style is very erotic,
sexy, how do you say - hot?
DELACROIX
This is a TV show, not a music video.
JUKKA
Then will you teach me what I need
to know. Maybe we learn from each
other, if that's possible, no?
INT. BACKSTAGE - MOMENTS LATER
DELACROIX
This is a travesty. A debacle.
SLOAN
You've said that already.
DELACROIX
I'm gonna slit my wrists. Cut my
throat. For the love of Joseph.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NEW DAY
He's sitting behind his desk, reading new "pink" revisions
of the "MANTAN" pilot. He screams.
DELACROIX
For the love of Joseph and Mary.
Delacroix bolts out from his office.
INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - DAY
Delacroix charges in as Dunwitty and Jukka go over the same
"pink" revisions.
DELACROIX
I will not be held responsible for
these revisions. These changes are
not the way I want to go. This is
an outrage. This is a sham. A
violation!
DUNWITTY
Calm down, please.
JUKKA
In Finland, when we get upset...
56.
DELACROIX
I don't give a good goddamn about
Finland, Norway, Sweden or wherever
ya blond ass came from.
DUNWITTY
We just punched it up a bit. Made
it funnier.
DELACROIX
Funnier to who and at who's expense?
Dunwitty, when Negroes start to run
amok, the boycotts, when the
demostrations commence, I'm giving
them your home address. Let's see
how you like it when they picket
your lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut.
DUNWITTY
I seriously doubt that will ever
happen. Didn't I tell you I know
your people better than you do.
But if by some miracle you're
correct, I'm gonna invite them
inside my house and we'll have a
sit down, discuss it like civil
human beings.
INT. STUDIO - NIGHT
Much activity is going on. People are moving to and fro.
WE FOLLOW Delacroix and Sloan.
EXT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Delacroix knocks and they enter.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan sits in front of his mirror.
DELACROIX
Just want to say good luck.
SLOAN
Break a leg.
She gives Mantan a kiss on his cheek.
DELACROIX
Wait a minute. Hold up.
They all laugh.
57.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Can I kiss you too?
MANTAN
Naw. I'll take the zero.
DELACROIX
You feel good, not nervous?
MANTAN
I feel fine.
DELACROIX
Not nervous? Relaxed?
MANTAN
Sloan, will you take your boss out
of here so I can get ready.
EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Sloan and Delacroix enter the dressing room.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
SLEEP 'N EAT
How's the audience?
DELACROIX
Fired up.
SLOAN
How you feelin'?
SLEEP 'N EAT
Good. I'm not sure about this
material.
DELACROIX
The material is fine.
Sloan cuts a look at this liar.
SLEEP 'N EAT
You really think so?
DELACROIX
We're trying to do something new
here, some groundbreaking stuff.
SLEEP 'N EAT
It's the bone breaking stuff I'm
worried about.
58.
SLOAN
Everything's gonna be alright. You
and Mantan will be huge stars after
tonight.
SLEEP 'N EAT
You really think so?
DELACROIX
Your life will never be the same.
SLOAN
Let's leave the man in peace so he
can get ready.
INT. BACKSTAGE
SLOAN
We both lied to him.
DELACROIX
What do you want me to say?
SLOAN
Just don't lie to me.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
HONEYCUTT, a rotund, elder black man who is one of cast
members, is warming the audience up.
ON AUDIENCE
It's very young and diverse. They are laughing at the comic
stylings of Honeycutt.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
Delacroix and Sloan take their seats.
DELACROIX
Good luck, Jukka. Do a good show.
JUKKA
Thank you very much. I always try
my best.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan is slowly getting dressed. He puts on an old,
tattered tails (tuxedo).
59.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat is also getting dressed. He wears a worn
Pullman Porter uniform with red hat to match.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT
Dunwitty with his black wife in hand, VERNA moves toward
Delacroix and Sloan.
DUNWITTY
I want you to meet my lovely wife
Verna. Honey, this is Pierre
Delacroix and Sloan Hopkins.
VERNA
Nice to meet you.
DELACROIX
Same here.
SLOAN
The pleasure is mine.
VERNA
My husband has been raving about
the awesome work you've done. How
did you ever think of something
like this? It's absolutely
brilliant. Pure genius.
DELACROIX
I guess it was divine inspiration.
VERNA
Hope to see you both after the
taping. Congrats in advance.
ON CONTROL BOOTH
Verna and Dunwitty go to the front of the control booth.
TWO SHOT
Delacroix and Sloan.
SLOAN
Divine inspiration?
She laughs.
DELACROIX
I was trying to be nice.
60.
SLOAN
I want to apologize about my
brother and the Mau-Mau's. I
should not have imposed them on you.
DELACROIX
C'mon. You were only doing what
family is supposed to be doing for
family. You gave your brother a
shot. That's all anybody can ask
for, an opportunity, a chance, a
shot. He got his.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan is in front of his dressing room mirror.
ON MIRROR
Mantan looks, stares at his reflection.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat is staring at himself also.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
CLOSE ON MANTAN
SLOAN (V.O.)
We should blacken up like they did
it back in the day. Keep the
ritual the same.
Mantan puts some corks in a dish.
SLOAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Pour some alcohol on the corks,
then light it.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat strikes a match to his corks in a dish.
CLOSE ON SLEEP 'N EAT
He watches the cork burn.
SLOAN (V.O.)
Let them burnt to a crisp, and when
burnt out, mash them to a powder.
61.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan is mashing the corks.
SLOAN (V.O.)
Add water, mix to a thick paste.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat is mixing it all together.
SLOAN (V.O.)
And voila! You have your blackface.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
The audience, which has become restless, starts a rhythmic
clap.
SLOAN (V.O.)
Please put cocoa butter on your
face and hands...
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
ON MANTAN'S HANDS
SLOAN (V.O.)
To protect your skin.
He applies cocoa butter to his hands.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
ON SLEEP 'N EAT'S FACE
He rubs cocoa butter all over his face.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
CLOSE ON HANDS
Audience hands are clapping faster.
ON FEET
They're stomping.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
ON MIRROR
Mantan blacks up his face.
62.
WE HEAR THE POUNDING OF THE FEET STOMPING AND THE HANDS
CLAPPING.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
ON MIRROR
Sleep 'N Eat blacks up also.
SLOAN (V.O.)
The final detail...
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
ON LIPS
SLOAN (V.O.)
...are the lips.
Mantan is applying lipstick.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
ON LIPS
Sleep 'N Eat is puckering his lips as he too puts on the
lipstick.
SLOAN (V.O.)
The redder the lipstick the better.
I suggest firetruck red.
ON MIRROR
For the first time WE SEE SLEEP 'N EAT in FULL BLACK FACE.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Show...
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
ON MIRROR
Mantan in FULL BLACK FACE.
MANTAN
...TIME!!!
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
The audience is in an uproar when the lights go down. They
applaud and they quiet as the CURTAIN GOES UP on a bucolic
setting. It is a combination of WATERMELON PATCH and COTTON
FIELD.
63.
ON STAGE
First Sleep 'N Eat then Mantan shuffles onto the stage.
MANTAN
This is my best friend Sleep 'N Eat.
SLEEP 'N EAT
And this is my very best friend
Mantan.
BOTH
We're two real COONS!
The audience lets out nervous laughter. They don't know
what to think.
MANTAN
We both left the hustle and bustle
of Uptown, Harlem...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...the big apple, New York, New York.
MANTAN
To come back to our roots.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Our Alabamy Home. Now we're
getting countrified. We is Bama's.
MANTAN
No mo' "city slickers." Ahh, can't
you smell the sweet aroma of the
ripe watermelons and high cotton?
SLEEP 'N EAT
Tell 'em what you mean Mistuh Mantan.
MANTAN
Well, thank you Mistuh Sleep 'N Eat.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Give or cousins some of dem educated
feets.
Mantan begins to do a slow, steady step.
SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
Cousins, first, second, third and
distant, let's have Mantan take us
all the way back to a much more
simpler time. A time wen men were
men, women were women, and Neggras
knew their place.
64.
The AUDIENCE is aghast. Mantan has picked up the pace.
He's tapping fast and furious.
MANTAN
Cousins, I want all of you to go to
your windows. Go to your windows
and yell. Yell, I'm tired of the
drugs, the crack babies born out of
wedlock to crackhead aids infested
parents. I'm tired of the inflated
welfare rolls while good wholesome
Americans bring less and less of
their paycheck home every two weeks.
I'm tired, you're tired, we're all
tired of these so-called bible-
thumping God fearing, whore mongling
Professional athletes. Aren't you
tired of these basketball-dunking,
football-running, hop-hip rapping
ebonic-speaking sex offenders who
got ten kids from ten different
Ho's? I know I am and so is Sleep
'N Eat.
SLEEP 'N EAT
You tellin' the truth.
MANTAN
Go to your windows and yell out,
scream with all the life you can
muster up inside your assaulted,
bruised and battered bodies. I'M
SICK AND TIRED OF NIGGERS AND I'M
NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Mantan stops dancing and collapses.
ON AUDIENCE
They're stunned. They can't believe what they've heard,
what they've seen. What they've been witness to.
ON YOUNG WHITE COUPLE
They look at the black people in the audience.
ON YOUNG HIP-HOP BLACK MALE
He starts to clap slowly.
ON AUDIENCE
Slowly more black people begin to applaud. Slowly it sweeps
up into the black people.
65.
The WHITE AUDIENCE, of course, has been waiting to see how
their black brothers and sisters would react. Now feeling
comfortable and safe, they too being to join the applause.
ON AUDIENCE
The applause changes into laughter. It is not nervous
laughter we hear, but straight out RIOTOUS LAUGHTER.
ON BLACK AND WHITE FACES
The laughter is contagious.
ON STAGE
Mantan starts to move, he's coming back from the dead. He
slowly gets up from his prostate position as he HEARS:
A WAYBACK ALABAMA JIG played by the house band, THE PORCH
MONKEYS, led by musical director Levi. Mantan is joined on
stage by the other hoofers in the show: JUNGLE BUNNY,
SNOWFLAKE, SAMBO, AUNT JEMIMA, RASTUS, NIGGER JIM, plus
SLEEP 'N EAT. Each take turn as it evolves into an elaborate
DANCE NUMBER. The hoofers and the band are also in black
face.
ON AUDIENCE
They are rolling down the aisles.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT
ON DELACROIX
Delacroix looks like he has seen a ghost.
CLOSER
He buries his face in his hands.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NEXT NIGHT
Delacroix is in the same position as the scene before. Face
buried in his hands.
ON PHONE
It rings and he picks it up.
DELACROIX
Hello?
66.
EXT. STREETS - NIGHT
Dunwitty drives his Mercedes Benz CL 600 Coupe.
DUNWITTY
Yo, DeLa, I just got the news from
the CNS brass. They saw some clips
from the pilot and they're rushing
it onto the air. Yo, we're a
midseason replacement, ordered 12
shows. We're on in 3 weeks. Didya
hear what I just said, Yo?
ON DUNWITTY
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
They didn't even view a rough cut,
just some scenes we quickly cut
together.
ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX
This has to be a big mistake.
DUNWITTY (O.S.)
The big mistake was my not believing
in your genius earlier. From the
gitgo, from jump street.
DELACROIX
Hold on a sec, I got a call.
HE CLICKS OVER.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Hello, Mommy, let me get rid of
this other call.
INT. BENZ - CONTINUOUS
DELACROIX (O.S.)
I gots to go, it's my Moms.
DUNWITTY
I want to meet her one day, please
tell her the great news. I'm OUT
like Vanilla Ice.
INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE - NIGHT
She is on the phone with her son.
67.
ORCHID
Peerless, your father called.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT
DELACROIX
I'll be right over.
INT. STREET - NIGHT
It's a warm summer night.
MANTAN
So what's up with you?
SLOAN
What do you want to know?
MANTAN
The good stuff.
SLOAN
I'm an asthmatic. Been one all my
life. Can't go anywhere without an
inhaler.
MANTAN
What else?
SLOAN
Are you trying to rap to me?
INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE
Delacroix sits at the kitchen table.
ORCHID
He wants you to come and see him.
DELACROIX
He said that?
ORCHID
Yes he did.
DELACROIX
Where is he?
ORCHID
He's performing at some place
outside of Richmond, Virginia.
DELACROIX
I can't go all the way down south.
68.
ORCHID
Richmond is not all the way down
south.
DELACROIX
I don't even know why you're still
concerned over him. Daddy's not
with you.
ORCHID
Regardless, he still is your father.
DELACROIX
It's gonna be hard for me to get
away with the show taking off.
ORCHID
Even more reason to see him. He'll
be overjoyed with your success.
DELACROIX
C'mon, Mommy. Daddy hasn't been
impressed with anything I've ever
done. From winning my fifth grade
Spelling Bee to the present.
ORCHID
Peerless, last time, go see your
father.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Mantan and Sloan are sitting on a park bench, nothing is
being said. He sits up and starts to do a dance for her.
To her.
ON BENCH
Mantan is doing that "Mating" tap dance.
SLOAN
Are you trying to seduce me?
He puts his index finger over his mouth - "Quiet."
SLOAN (CONT'D)
You think that's gonna work, huh?
He quickly jumps up on the bench, does some intricate steps
then pulls Sloan up from her sitting position.
ON MANTAN AND SLOAN
They kiss.
69.
EXT. I-95 SOUTH - MORNING
Delacroix is driving "down south."
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself. HE
SPEAKS TO US through the MIRROR
DELACROIX
I figured this was a good time to
get away. Just jump in my ride and
go. I always did my best thinking
when I was driving alone. I needed
to think out clearly what I was
going to do with this MANTAN - THE
NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.
EXT. I-95 SOUTH
Delacroix is driving on his way to "Ole Virginny."
EXT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK - NIGHT
Delacroix pulls up in the parking lot of a rinky-kink,
funky, greasy BAR/CLUB/BAR-B-Q joint.
CLOSE ON NEON SIGN
"MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK" - most the letters do not light up,
underneath it, "2-NITE - JUNEBUG."
INT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK
It's loud as hell as Delacroix enters this smoky, dark
establishment.
P.O.V. DELACROIX
This must be a big night in here because the PATRONS are
dressed to the nines. What's in style down here is a lot
different from what's happening en Nueva York. Many of the
men are dressed like PIMPS from 70's BLAXPLOITATION FILM,
the ladies like HOOTCHIE MAMAS from "Luke" video.
ON SUGAR SHAK
Delacroix works himself through the crowded BAR/DISCO into
another small room.
ON COMEDY ROOM
He walks into a small space where his father JUNEBUG is on
the stage.
70.
ON JUNEBUG
He is a good-looking man, the only speckle of gray in his
hair betrays his age. As he walks around the small stage
doing his comedy stylings, he keeps a drink in one hand and
sips it often.
ON COMEDY ROOM
Delacroix sits in the back so his father can't see him.
ON DELACROIX
He looks around.
P.O.V. DELACROIX
It's dead in here. The room is nearly empty.
ON TABLE
A couple gets loud, arguing over something.
ON JUNEBUG
JUNEBUG
'Cuse me. Please. Can you please
show me some respect. I'm up here
trying to make a living.
MAN
Mind yo' business.
JUNEBUG
Don't make me have to come over
there and whoop you upside ya head.
The sparse AUDIENCE laughs.
JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
Just messin' with ya. But please
if you and your lady need to
discuss something, take it outside.
Thank you.
He continues on with his show.
ON TABLE
Delacroix walks over to the fighting couple.
71.
DELACROIX
Brother man, that's my father up
there and I drove a long way to see
him perform. Please take this
fifty, go buy you and the young
lady some drinks in the club.
The guy looks him up and down.
MAN
That's yo' Daddy?
Delacroix nods.
MAN (CONT'D)
Don't need yo money for drinks.
Besides, she's drunk already.
C'mon, let's go.
The guy grabs his friend by the wrist and drags her kicking
and screaming out the room.
CLOSE ON JUNEBUG
JUNEBUG
Don't bring your woman out if you
can't keep her in deep check. If
my woman ever did something crazy
like that I'd put my size 12 dead
up in her ass.
This gets the biggest laugh of the night.
EXT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Delacroix knocks.
JUNEBUG (O.S.)
What do you want?
DELACROIX
I want to speak with you.
JUNEBUG (O.S.)
Go away, unless you got my money.
DELACROIX
It's me, Peerless.
INT. DRESSING ROOM
He enters into a closet, it's a makeshift dressing room. A
younger lady, much younger than Junebug - DOT - stands
behind him as she massages his neck.
72.
Junebug gets up from his chair, rushes to his son and they
embrace.
JUNEBUG
Son. Good to seeya. Good to seeya.
DELACROIX
It's been a long time.
JUNEBUG
Pull up a chair. Oh, excuse me,
this is my lady DOT.
DELACROIX
Pleased to meet you.
DOT
Glad to meet you, too. You are all
your father talks about.
DELACROIX
Is that so?
JUNEBUG
Honey, pour me and my son a drink.
They both sit down as drinks are poured.
DOT
I'll leave you two alone.
She kisses Junebug on the forehead before leaving.
JUNEBUG
Good woman. I trained her right.
DELACROIX
Daddy, she's younger than me.
JUNEBUG
My game is still strong. No Viagra
for me, don't need no chemicals.
Just my tonic.
He holds up his drink and kills it in one gulp.
JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
Purely for medicinal purposes.
DELACROIX
I thought you had promised Mommy
you stopped.
73.
JUNEBUG
I did. I'm not an alcoholic. I
just like to drink.
DELACROIX
How did you end up here?
JUNEBUG
How did I end up at the third rate
chittlin' circuit greasy hole in
the wall in West Hell, Virginny?
Is that what you're asking ya Daddy?
Delacroix takes a sip of his drink.
DELACROIX
That's what I'm askin'.
JUNEBUG
Because I had too much pride. Too
much integrity. I wouldn't lick
nobody's butt. Some material I
refused to do.
DELACROIX
Daddy, it can't be just because of
that. There had to be other factors.
Junebug pours himself another stiff one.
JUNEBUG
That's the only reason, period.
They only want one certain kind of
black comic.
DELACROIX
Another one of your conspiracies to
hold ya career back?
JUNEBUG
All I know is what happened to me.
All that other mess I just file
into the "life's too short" category.
He downs another one. Junebug drinks like a fish.
JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
Enough about me, what's happening
with you?
DELACROIX
The same old, same old. Trying to
get my stuff through.
74.
JUNEBUG
Dem white boys giving you a hard
time?
DELACROIX
Nuthin' I can't handle.
JUNEBUG
The truth is never let them seeya
sweat. You do that, that's half
the battle.
DELACROIX
Where do you go from here?
JUNEBUG
Three nights Charleston, South
Carolina.
DELACROIX
I didn't mean that, in life.
JUNEBUG
In life? I'ma keep on living,
having a good drink, got me a good
young woman, make a couple of
dollars and make people laugh.
Haven't I always tol' you all
nigga's are entertainers? The
question is what are you gonna do,
Peerless?
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Delacroix and Dot are on either side of Junebug as they hold
him up.
ON DOOR
Delacroix struggles to put the key in the door.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
The door is kicked open as the trio comes in. Junebug is
drunk as a skunk.
JUNEBUG
I'm not an alcoholic. I just like
to drink.
DOT
We know that baby.
75.
DELACROIX
Let's get him over to the bed.
JUNEBUG
Baby, you treat me so good.
Peerless, you're a good son, I love
you. You never gave me no trouble.
They lay him down on the bed.
DELACROIX
I love you too, Daddy.
JUNEBUG
Always keep 'em laughing.
Dot takes off his shoes. He's out like a light. Gone.
DELACROIX
How long has my father been like
this?
DOT
Not that often. He was excited to
see you.
DELACROIX
So he drank himself into a stuper?
DOT
The drinking is for the pain. It
doesn't kill it, just dulls it.
DELACROIX
So what's up with you?
DOT
I was a hostess at this club, your
Daddy was performing and I had
never laughed so hard in my life.
He asked me to come with him. I
quit my job and we've been together
ever since.
Delacroix pulls out his billfold and gives Dot five crisp
new model hundred dollar bills.
DELACROIX
Don't tell him it's from me or he
won't take it.
DOT
Your father is proud of you.
76.
DELACROIX
He never showed it.
DOT
He did the best way he knew how,
Junebug is stubborn just like you.
Delacroix kisses his sleeping father of the forehead.
DOT (CONT'D)
I'll take care of him.
EXT. I-95 NORTH - NIGHT
Delacroix is driving back home - up North.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
DELACROIX (V.O.)
My Daddy. I'm not mad at him. Not
at all. Junebug was the reason I
got into this business in the first
place.
CLOSER
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And I thank him for that. However,
it did me no good seeing him in
that state. Daddy was a broken man.
He had been a strong man, with
conviction, integrity, principles
and look where it had gotten him.
I had to ask myself did I want to
end up where he was?
OVERHEAD REAR VIEW MIRROR
Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself, and
SPEAK TO US.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
That was the last time I ever saw
my father.
EXT. I-95 NORTH
Delacroix's car flies past us.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
ON MIRROR
Mantan starts to black up.
77.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat also begins to black up.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Honeycutt stands in front of the festive young, mixed
audience.
HONEYCUTT
Everybody say Ho!
AUDIENCE
Ho!
HONEYCUTT
That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout!
That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout! I want
to be the first to welcome you to
the second taping of Mantan - The
New Millennium Minstrel Show.
Audience applauds.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
My name is Honeycutt and I want to
try something different. Can you
do this for me?
ON AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE
Yeah!
BACK ON HONEYCUTT
HONEYCUTT
I'm gonna start a chant and I want
y'all to follow me. Let's make our
own 2 real coons know you're ready
to start the show.
CLOSER
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
Let's go Niggers. Then clap five
times like this.
Honeycutt claps the cadence.
78.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
C'mon. It's easy. It's the same
thing y'all do out at the Yankee
game, no different 'cept we changing
one word. Everybody go it?
ON AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE
YEAH!
CLOSER ON HONEYCUTT
HONEYCUTT
Alright. Here we go. Let's go
NIGGERS! LET'S GO NIGGERS!
CLOSE ON AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE
Let's go NIGGERS.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
ON MIRROR
Mantan is finishing the black.
AUDIENCE (O.S.)
Let's go niggers!
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat is finishing his Black.
AUDIENCE (O.S.)
Let's go niggers!
INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS
HONEYCUTT
Louder. They can't hear you.
CLOSE ON YOUNG BLACK WOMAN
YOUNG BLACK WOMAN
LET'S GO NIGGERS!
CLOSE ON YOUNG WHITE MALE
YOUNG WHITE MALE
LET'S GO NIGGERS!
79.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan is applying his FIRETRUCK RED lipstick.
AUDIENCE (O.S.)
LET'S GO NIGGERS!
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM
Sleep 'N Eat's also applying lipstick.
AUDIENCE (O.S.)
LET'S GO NIGGERS!
INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS
Their CHANT is deafening. The audience's hyped.
HONEYCUTT
You sound so good to me. Ladies
and gentlemen, boys and girls,
without further adieu, let's
welcome youknowwhoI'mtalkin'about,
your two favorite coons, Da Dusky
Duo, our stars Mantan and Sleep 'N
Eat.
The audience goes crazy as the curtain goes up and the house
band kicks in with the Mantan theme.
ON STAGE
The setting is a chicken coop, live roosters and chickens
move freely about Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat. They start right
into their routine at a furious pace.
MANTAN
Y'know my lady Lucindy?
SLEEP 'N EAT
The one with da big...
MANTAN
Not her, the one with the little...
SLEEP 'N EAT
Oh her.
MANTAN
Tomorrow is her birthday and I want
to get her something really nice,
like a...
80.
SLEEP 'N EAT
No, not that. How 'bout...
MANTAN
She hates dem.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Too bad. How 'bout a dress?
MANTAN
Sleep 'N Eat, one of dem slinky,
sexy, little foxy...
SLEEP 'N EAT
Mantan, way too short, too tight.
Get her one of dose...
MANTAN
...to big. The in-between one, not
too tight, not too lose.
SLEEP 'N EAT
That'll work. I just bought one
for myself.
Mantan cocks his limp wrist. The audience ROARS.
SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
Not for me, my woolly headed cotton
pickin' friend for...
MANTAN
I thought you got rid of...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...that was Vicki, her best friend.
Dat dress will cast ya round...
MANTAN
...dat's too much money. I can't
'ford it. I needs me a dress that
cost no mo' than...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...aconite get it dat cheap.
MANTAN
I'll buy her a less expensive
dress, so I can have some money
left over to take her out to dinner.
SLEEP 'N EAT
We should go out on a double date.
81.
MANTAN
I heard ya lady is wild.
SLEEP 'N EAT
No. That's her second cousin.
Who's married to Li'l Bit.
MANTAN
Oh, because on our first date, she
let me...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...no, she didn't...
MANTAN
...yes she did.
SLEEP 'N EAT
...I heard different, thought that
was...
MANTAN
...not that time...
SLEEP 'N EAT
So when are you comin' to pick us up?
MANTAN
Around...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...too early...
MANTAN
...then what about...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...too late, maybe around...
MANTAN
...perfect...
SLEEP 'N EAT
That's what I like about you and me.
We git along...
MANTAN
...like macaroni and cheese...
SLEEP 'N EAT
...like grits and butter...
MANTAN
...like fried and chicken...
82.
SLEEP 'N EAT
...like sleep and eat.
OFF-SCREEN we HEAR the VOICE of MASSA CHARLIE, he's the
overseer of this plantation.
MASSA CHARLIE (O.S.)
Who goes in there?
SLEEP 'N EAT
We'd better hide.
MANTAN
It's dat mean, evil overseer Massa
Charlie.
They hide behind some boxes.
MASSA CHARLIE
I say who goes in there?
BOTH
There's nobody in here 'cept us
chickens.
Massa Charlie enters the chicken coops with a SHOTGUN
blazing. Sleep 'N Eat and Mantan do a jig as they try to
escape the buckshot.
ON AUDIENCE
They're rolling down the aisles in hysterics.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH
Everyone in the booth is laughing uncontrollably. Except
Delacroix. Even Sloan is dying.
DELACROIX
Who's side are you on?
SLOAN
I'm sorry, I can't help it. It's
too funny.
Delacroix starts to crack a smile. He is definitely trying
to hold it in.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
He sits in front of the television, which is off.
83.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
It was the Day of Reckoning. After
a massive advertising and publicity
campaign...
CLOSER
Delacroix stares at the blank screen.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...the public would finally get a
chance to view Mantan. I was
feelin' a little bit like Dr.
Frankenstein.
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT
Sloan, Jessica, Mantan and Cheeba are gathered around the
television in the small studio apartment, jabbering away.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
What would their reaction be? I
hadn't the foggiest.
SLOAN
Everybody shut up.
ON TV SCREEN
We see the OPENING of MANTAN - THE NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL
SHOW. It is in CLAYMATION. Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are
doing a "jig." Their noses and lips are done in a grotesque
characterization, BIG WIDE BEGROIDAL NOSES and JUICY RED
SAUCER SOUP COOLING LIPS.
HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
Calling all my cousins, you're
about to take a trip down to Hang
'Em High Plantation, home of your
two favorite coons, Mantan and
Sleep 'N Eat.
ON SLOAN, JESSICA, MANTAN, AND CHEEBA
Mantan isn't happy.
MANTAN
Why they gotta make my nose so big?
CHEEBA
Look at my lips.
JESSICA
I think it looks cute.
84.
ON SLOAN
She can't believe her eyes.
HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
Mantan - The New Millennium Minstrel
Show is proudly sponsored by...
ON TV SCREEN
DA BOMB PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO
HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...Da Bomb. We'll take you there.
And...
CLOSER ON TV SCREEN
TIMMI HILLNIGGER PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO
HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...Timmi Hillnigger. Keep it
really real.
ON HONEYCUTT
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
We will be right back with the
start of our show, but first, a
word from our proud sponsors.
CUT TO COMMERCIAL #1
EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY
The TRACK is BOOMING. The fire hydrant is open on this
sizzling day and practically butt naked "Playaz" and "Hoes"
dance in the water. Each one is guzzling from 64 ounce
JUGULARS of DA BOMB which are in the shape of a bomb.
ON HONEYCUTT AND CROWD
He's in the spot, he's the spokesperson.
HONEYCUTT
DA BOMB. Yo. It's 125% pure
pleasure MALT LIQUOR.
HOOCHIE #1
It's Da Bomb, Baby.
PLAYA #1
It's Da Bomb, Baby.
85.
ON CROWD
Nothing but butts and breasts gyrating.
HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
Clinical testing has found that
Viagra doesn't work on black
"johnson's." That's why our
scientists developed Da Bomb for
you. It makes you feel like a MAN
and it makes dem bitches feel like
Natural Women - I mean Ho's.
PLAYA #2
It makes my nature rise.
HOOCHIE #2
I want to get funked up.
HONEYCUTT
DA BOMB - 125% pure pleasure malt
liquor.
Honeycutt takes a big swallow from his 64 oz. Jugular. Two
statuesque ladies sandwich him, grinding up on Honeycutt.
He takes the jugular from his lips. As he speaks, flames
come out of his mouth.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
Oooooo-weeee!! Da Bomb makes me
wanna get my freak on.
TWO MO' HOOCHIES
Honeycutt, let's get our swerve on@
CUT TO COMMERCIAL #2
EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY
A middled-aged Caucasian male, TIMMI HILLNIGGER, is
surrounded by a mob deep of hard-looking PLAYAZ.
TIMMY HILLNIGGER
Yo, my name be Timmi Hillnigger. I
was born and raised up in Strong
Island so you know I know about my
peeps, my niggaz in the git-toe. I
design and own TIMMI HILLNIGGER
125% Authentic Git-Toe active wear.
DAWG #1 steps forward.
DAWG #1
Hillnigger keeps it real.
86.
DAWG #2 steps forward also.
DAWG #2
Timmi's gots all da latest gear.
TIMMY HILLNIGGER
If you want to keep it really real,
never get out of the git-toe, stay
broke and continue to add to my
multibillion dollar corporation,
keep buyin' all my gear. The Timmi
Hillnigger collection. We keep it
so real we give you the bullet holes.
Hoe #1 laying in a white thong on top of a white Rolls-Royce.
HOE #1
All my niggaz wear Hillnigger or
they don't wear a damn thing at all.
It's Git-toe Fabulous.
EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
The lights are on in the White House.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
I was sunk, dead. My goose was
cooked. The cat was in the bag and
the bag was in the river.
INT. THE WHITE HOUSE
President Clinton is seen behind a TV set laughing his head
off.
INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY
The President of the U.S. stands behind a podium and takes
questions from the press.
REPORTER
Did you watch MANTAN - THE NEW
MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW last night?
PRESIDENT CLINTON
Yes I did and I can honestly say I
feel it promotes racial healing.
INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING
Dunwitty, Delacroix and Sloan are joined by a young Caucasian
woman, MYRNA GOLDFARB.
87.
DUNWITTY
I know all of you have seen the
overnight ratings. Through the
roof. But in this game you gotta
be one, two, three steps ahead. I
introduce you to Myrna Goldfarb.
She's the best media consultant in
the biz.
MYRNA
First, I would like to say I love
the show. It's very courageous.
My parents marched in Selma,
Alabama with Dr. King.
DELACROIX
Why are you here?
MYRNA
Good question, straight to the
point. I like your style. Because
of the content of the show we can
expect some spirited reactions.
DUNWITTY
Myrna is here to help us plan our
strategy.
MYRNA
The best defense is offense.
DELACROIX
I thought it was the other way
around.
MYRNA
You get my point. I've mapped out
some strategies to help bolster our
position.
SLOAN
Which is?
MYRNA
That this is fun. Nice wholesome
fun.
DUNWITTY
Goldfarb, run it down for them.
88.
MYRNA
The Mantan Manifesto. Catchy ain't
it? Number One. We gainfully
employ African Americans, in front
of and behind the cameras. Two.
Let the audience decide. Three.
Who put these critics in charge?
These so-called cultural police?
Four. Who determines what is black?
Five. Mantan is a satire. Six.
If they can't take a joke, "F" 'em.
DUNWITTY
We all stick to this, it's smooth
sailing.
SLOAN
It sounds kinda simplistic to me.
MYRNA
I've done my research.
DELACROIX
These are black folks we're talkin'
about, not some lab mice in a cage.
MYRNA
Monsieur Delacroix, I got my PhD in
African-American studies from Yale,
so I do feel I'm qualified.
DUNWITTY
Let Myrna finish.
MYRNA
Thank you. And always smile.
DELACROIX
Yeah, show dem pearly whites.
She ignores him.
MYRNA
Wear Kente cloth, invoke the name
of Dr. Martin Luther King, use the
word "community" often when talking
about Mantan. And finally our
biggest plus is you, Pierre
Delacroix.
DELACROIX
Me?
89.
DUNWITTY
Yes you!
MYRNA
This show was created, conceived by
you, a non-threatening African-
American male. Voila. End of
argument. It can't be racist
because you're black.
DELACROIX
I'm not black. I'm a NEGRO!!!
INT. CNS HALLWAY - POST MEETING
Sloan and Delacroix are walking in the hallway. They keep
getting interrupted by people who congratulate Delacroix on
the success of the show.
SLOAN
So you have your small victory, now
what?
DELACROIX
A small victory isn't that small
when you've been use to losing.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - MORNING
Sloan hands Delacroix a wrapped gift.
DELACROIX
What is this?
SLOAN
A gift.
DELACROIX
For what?
SLOAN
No matter what you think, you did
come up with something unique.
Open it.
Delacroix opens his gift. It is one of those old cast iron
Black Collectibles. This one is called "THE JOLLY NIGGER
BANK," a head of a Negro, big lips, big nose, wide eyes.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Put a coin in the hand.
He puts a quarter in the hand.
90.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Watch this.
She pushes the lever and the mouth opens, the quarter flies
in and his eyes go to the top of his head.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Read it on the back.
Delacroix reads.
DELACROIX
The Jolly Nigger Bank.
SLOAN
This is authentic, not a repro,
circa turn of the century.
DELACROIX
Thanks.
SLOAN
I thought it was appropiate.
DELACROIX
Is that good or bad?
SLOAN
It's all good. You got a hit show,
you're gonna need a bank. Plus, I
love these old black collectibles.
DELACROIX
How so?
SLOAN
To me, it shows part of our history
in this country, a time when we
were considered inferior, sub-human.
CLOSE ON JOLLY NIGGER BANK
Delacroix puts another quarter in the hand and flips the
lever. The quarter flies into his mouth as his eyes roll to
the top of his head.
INT. WLIB - DAY
Delacroix is a guest on the GARY BYRD show. WLIB is the
number one black talk radio station in the nation.
91.
GARY BYRD
Our guest today is Pierre Delacroix.
He is the creator of the highly
controversial TV show MANTAN.
Let's get right into it. You have
been called by some in the community
a traitor, a sellout, an Uncle Tom.
Why does your show generate such
feelings?
DELACROIX
Because race has always been a
sensitive issue in this country.
Gary, I have no problem with people
disagreeing with the show, it's
when folks start trying to mess
with my inherent right as an
artist, that's when I get mad. No
one, in any way, shape or form
should be censored.
GARY BYRD
No matter how sexist or racist the
material may be?
DELACROIX
Yes. And I say yes because who is
to judge? Who is to stand before
us and say this is righteous and
this is not? Who? Who can play God?
GARY BYRD
But the line has to be drawn.
DELACROIX
Don't you people get it? We're in
the 21st Century. Slavery was over
four hundred years ago. All that
stuff people talked in the old
days, it's over. Folks always
crying, white man this, white man
that. Let's all grow up.
GARY BYRD
Are you trying to excuse our
Holocaust?
DELACROIX
Can I finish? Thank you. I had a
great Aunt, we called her Sister.
She went to her grave not believing
man had walked on the Moon.
(MORE)
92.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
When I was a little kid, I would
argue with her, "it's on TV." She
would answer "I don't care what's
on that idiot box. No MAN is on
the MOON." Well, there are a lot
of your Negroes just like my Aunt
Sister. Face up to it. The world
has changed and if you don't adapt,
change with it, you will be left
behind. This show is a parody.
Are you telling me that nobody can
use some humor, have some laughs in
their lives? Is that what you're
telling me?
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Mantan and Cheeba gaze skyward at a behemoth billboard for
their show. Some people recognize them and start asking for
autographs and a crowd forms.
ON MANTAN AND CHEEBA
They're enjoying the adulation.
ANOTHER CORNER
Big Black and the Mau-Mau's also look up at the 2 REAL COONS
billboard. Their faces say they are not happy.
CLOSE ON 2 REAL COONS BILLBOARD
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON AMERICAN FLAG
It blows majestically in the wind.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
When American people want something,
they want it now, they want it big.
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
Kids swinging in their hula hoops.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
They wanted the hula hoop...
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
Kids playing with their yo-yo's.
93.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
They wanted their yo-yo's.
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
A young girl petting her Pet Rock.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Who could ever forget those lovable
pet rocks.
CUT TO:
INT. TOYS "R" US
Parents are fighting over Beanie Babies. It's a RUCKUS.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Beanie Babies...
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are doing a tap dance on the GIANT
DIAMONDVISION SCREEN.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Now the latest, hottest, newest
sensation across the nation was...
CLOSE ON MANTAN AND SLEEP 'N EAT
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
BLACKFACE!!!
BLACKFACE MONTAGE
We SEE AMERICANS - young, old, black and white in BLACKFACE.
MANTAN and SLEEP 'N EAT are #1 and #2 in the best-selling
Halloween masks. They fly out of the stores. We SEE Mantan
and Sleep 'N Eat THE DUSKY DUO Action Dolls, backpacks,
lunch boxes, T-shirts, jackets, board games, watches, and
CD-Rom video games. Football players, wrestlers in black
face also.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It was the rage.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO
Big Black stands behind 1/16th Black who sits in front of a
laptop computer.
94.
1/16TH BLACK
Big Black, I can't log on the
Mantan Website now, it's overloaded.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
The Mantan - The New Millennium
Minstrel Show at www.nigger.com was
getting 500,000 hits a day.
BIG BLACK
Keep trying.
1/16TH BLACK
I'm on it.
INT. CAR DEALER - DAY
A Mercedes-Benz salesman is showing Mantan all the newest,
latest models.
INT. JUSTINE'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Mantan and Cheeba sit at a big table with Puff Daddy, Andre
Harrell, Russell Simmons and other assorted RAPPERS.
Everyone is drinking that DOM P. Buxom Hotties sit in
between the BIG WILLIES.
EXT. CNS BUILDING - DAY
A group of protesters led by the REVEREND JESSE JACKSON and
AL SHARPTON carry signs and banners objecting to Mantan.
They're calling upon the FCC to pull the show off the air
and for the boycotting of the show's two sponsors: TIMMI
HILLNIGGER and DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR.
ON PROTESTERS
The press is watching.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY
Delacroix has now decorated his entire office with Black
Collectibles Art. WE SEE black jockey lawn pieces, banks,
mammies, signs for products, etc.
ON WINDOW
Delacroix and Mantan are looking out the office window down
on the protesters.
MANTAN
Why is Jess and Reverend Al down
there?
95.
DELACROIX
So they can be on TV.
MANTAN
You sound like the media.
DELACROIX
This is nothing. It will blow over
by tomorrow.
MANTAN
Same thing Giuliani said.
DELACROIX
Tomorrow it will be all about
cruelty to animals or some sex
scandal. Besides, there is no such
thing as bad publicity.
He hands Mantan a wrapped gift.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Rest your mind. It's a little
somethin' something.
Mantan opens it. He pulls out an old pair of tap shoes.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Those were the last pair of tap
shoes worn by Bill "Bojangles"
Robinson. In fact, he died with
them on.
Mantan starts to laugh.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
No joke. Serious.
MANTAN
Hope the same thing doesn't happen
to me. That's some big shoes to
fill.
DELACROIX
In time.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT
The Mau-Mau's are in meeting. They all drink 64 ounce
jugulars of Da Bomb, are all attired from head to toe in
TIMMI HILLNIGGER Active Ghetto Wear and brandish their 9's.
BIG BLACK
That Tom, That Negro...
96.
DOUBLE BLACK
...that handkerchief head...
BLACK BLACK
...dancing monkey...
1/16TH BLACK
...Benedict Arnold...
BIG BLACK
...that simpleton is holding back
the race. They got rid of us and
keep those two buffoons, Mantan and
Sleep 'N Eat, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
HARD BLACK
Yo, Big Black, Sleep 'N Eat ain't
even a nigger, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
SMOOTH BLACK
He's Mexican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
MO BLACK
He's Dominican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
JO BLACK
He's Peter Rican,
y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
BIG BLACK
Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin',
y'knowwhatI'msayin'!
1/16TH BLACK
We know. We know. Yo, check it,
my black brothers, we can't let
this slide. Not this injustice.
Nah, no way. Dem' two real coons
iz ill.
BIG BLACK
1/16, tru' 'dat. True 'dat.
DOUBLE BLACK
Let me gat him.
BIG BLACK
Nah, too easy, this has to be
symbolic, has to be on the world
stage.
INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - CENTRAL PARK WEST - DAY
Mantan is showing Sloan his new residence.
97.
SLOAN
This is a nice place. It must have
cost a pretty penny.
MANTAN
Sloan, I got it like 'dat.
SLOAN
Oh you do, huh?
MANTAN
Just a little something' somethin'.
SLOAN
I hope you save a little somethin'
somethin'.
MANTAN
Gots no intention of ending up broke.
SLOAN
Y'know, at the beginnin' of the
century, African-American had to
perform in blackface. You ever
heard of Bert Williams? He was a
great artist.
MANTAN
No, before my time.
SLOAN
You don't read, do you?
MANTAN
Never read a book in my whole life.
SLOAN
Maybe you need to start.
MANTAN
Maybe I need to do a lot of things.
SLOAN
Bert Williams and the rest, they
had to black up. They had no
choice. They were considered
3/5ths of a human being. Did you
know that's written in the
Constitution of the United States?
98.
MANTAN
Why all of a sudden are you flippin'
on me? This blackface thing was
part of the deal from the git-go.
Don't even try to play it like you
ain't a part of all this. You down
with Delacroix.
SLOAN
I just don't want you and Cheeba to
get hurt.
MANTAN
We can look out for ourselves.
INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Sleep 'N Eat is applying his black face.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM
Mantan also puts on his mask.
INT. STAGE
CLOSE ON HONEYCUTT
HONEYCUTT
Let's have a warm nigger applause
for our two favorite coons, Mantan
and Sleep 'N Eat. TWO REAL COONS!
ON AUDIENCE
The entire audience is in BLACK FACE. They applaud, yell,
cheer wildly. This is becoming a religious cult.
ON STAGE
The curtain rises on Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat. They are in a
cotton field.
MANTAN
I fell out of my bed last night.
SLEEP 'N EAT
You slept too near where you got in?
MANTAN
I slept too near where I fell out.
SLEEP 'N EAT
You expect the unexpected in
circumstances of that peculiarity.
99.
MANTAN
Sleep 'N Eat, what's the matter
with you? Using all dose ten
dollar words?
SLEEP 'N EAT
Mantan, it is possible that my
hyphenated sentences are entirely
too complex for all the intellect
contained in that diminutive coconut?
MANTAN
Hold on, you allegorical hypothesis.
Don't cross words with me.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Ain't Jemima on the pancake box?
MANTAN
Dat's yo Uncle Ben. That reminds
me, I've seen a lot of troubles
lately.
SLEEP 'N EAT
How be dat?
MANTAN
I don't know who I am.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Well, I'll be an Alabama porch
monkey's uncle.
MANTAN
Years ago I married a widow who had
a grown-up daughter. My daddy
visited us often, fell in love with
my stepdaughter and married her.
Thusly he became my son-in-law and
my stepdaughter became my mother
because she was my father's wife.
Soon after dis my wife gave birth
to a son, which of course was my
father's brother in-law and my
uncle, for he was the brother of my
step-mother. My father's wife also
became the mother of a son. He was
of course my brother and also my
grandchild for he was the son of my
daughter. Accordingly, my wife was
my grandmother because she was my
mother's mother.
(MORE)
100.
MANTAN (CONT'D)
Sleep 'N Eat, I was my wife's
husband and grandchild at one and
the same time. And lo' and behold,
as the husband of a person's
grandmother is his grandfather, I
Mantan, became my own grandfather.
SLEEP 'N EAT
Mantan, dat sho' is a whopper.
They both start to do the jig.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH
Delacroix is dying laughing.
DUNWITTY
You couldn't hold out any longer,
huh?
ON SLOAN
She looks at Delacroix, her face tells us she's not amused
at all.
ON TV SCREEN
The Dusky Duo is joined on the cotton patch by Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigga Jim, Jungle Bunny, Aunt Jemima, And the
Porch Monkeys Band.
MANTAN
I feel a song a comin' on.
SLEEP 'N EAT
A song a comin' I feel.
The Porch Monkeys kick in and Mantan sings.
MANTAN
I fell right dead in love/wid da
sweetest little dove/little LuLu
Snow from Tennessee/she made a
slave of me/an' from her I'se never
free/I'd do anything she'd ask me
to...
Sleep 'N Eat takes over.
101.
SLEEP 'N EAT
De money I did save/to dat yeller
gal I gave/for to keep till we was
wed/she told me dat nobody'd get
away dat cash/I'll take good care
of date, she said.
Everybody joins in for the chorus.
PIKCANINNINIES
She's de cutest gal in all dis
world I know/If you met her you
would say it so/Oh, Lulu, Lulu,
ev'ry day I pines for you/no other
gal will do/All I've got is yours
for life, my little, my little
yaller Lou/A week ago dat Lou wid
anudder nigger flew/took ma money
too, all I had/She broke ma heart
in two/when I heard dat she had
flew/Do you wonder dat I feel so
bad?/She told me not to cry 'case
she didn't say good bye/but she'd
take care of dat red/and nobody
would get de cash away from
her/She'd keep her word to me she
said.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT
The Mau-Mau clan surrounds the television monitor, howling
in disgust.
BIG BLACK
He gots to be did.
1/16TH BLACK
Did he gots to be.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Delacroix is leading the meeting of the staff writers on
Mantan.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
To my astonishment, not only did
the people in TV land love us, but
also the critics.
_
102.
CLOSE ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Mantan was being hailed as
groundbreaking, barrier breaking,
also earth shaking. I looked
forward to my awards. Just
vindication for all my hard work,
all my talent that had been
previously overlooked.
INT. THEATER - NIGHT
Delacroix sits in tux amongst many stars.
ALEC BALDWIN
The winner for Best New Sitcom is...
The envelope please...
A starlet hands him the envelope.
ALEC BALDWIN (CONT'D)
The winner is... Pierre Delacroix
for Mantan - The New Millennium
Minstrel Show!
Delacroix jumps out og his chair and starts sobbing. Two
ushers have to help him to the stage. He is overcome with
emotion. The audience is on their feet with a standing
ovation. He hugs Alec Baldwin.
DELACROIX
Alec Baldwin, this is the very
first time we've ever met, you
don't know this, I'm your biggest
fan and I want you to have my Emmy.
It's for you, out of the deep
bowels of my heart - I don't
deserve this. You take it.
Alec Baldwin is shocked. He grabs Delacroix in a bear hug
and they both cry like babies.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
If I did that I'd be assured to
work forever. Delacroix the
grateful Negro.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT
Delacroix sits at a table in his lucky tux.
WOODY HARRELSON
The winner for Best Sit-Com is...
103.
Woody opens the envelope.
WOODY HARRELSON (CONT'D)
...Pierre Delacroix for Mantan.
Come on up and get your Golden Globe.
Delacroix jumps out of his seat and sprints. He gets down
on the stage and starts to breakdance, even spinning on his
head.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
That routine would go over like
gangbusters. I would be a dancing
fool, Hollywood's new favorite
Negro, move over Danny, Morgan,
Samuel L., move over Whoopi.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Delacroix is finishing up the meeting.
DELACROIX
I had it all planned. To the T.
INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Mantan is running rigorous rehearsal of The Pikaninnies.
Over and over, repetition after repetition, Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigger Jim, Jungle Bunny and Aunt Jemima try
to do an intricate dance step.
MANTAN
I'm tired of you pickaninnies
messing up my choreography. It
goes like this.
Mantan does the step with ease.
MANTAN (CONT'D)
Try it again.
The dancers do it once more.
MANTAN (CONT'D)
Better.
Cheeba walks in. Mantan checks him out.
MANTAN (CONT'D)
Let's take a ten minute break.
They quickly file past Cheeba without saying a word. The
rehearsal space is just the two.
104.
CHEEBA
I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid.
MANTAN
What are you talkin' about?
CHEEBA
Jim Jones, y'know. I'm not drinking
the Kool-Aid.
MANTAN
Meaning?
CHEEBA
I'm out.
MANTAN
Good. I've got a broken back from
carrying you all these years anyway.
CHEEBA
So that's what you been doing?
MANTAN
Damn skippy.
CHEEBA
You're in this up till ya neck.
MANTAN
Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano
players.
CHEEBA
You can walk away. We both can.
MANTAN
Yeah, that's easy for you to do.
You never had any talent.
CHEEBA
I'm so tired of you running that.
I always worked hard for you. You
think I'm a leech, a kling-on, I
quit.
Cheeba walks out.
MANTAN
I'm the star of Mantan, so you do
that. Quit, walk away. And don't
come crawling back, either.
105.
INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT
Mantan and Sloan ride in back. He's still thinking about
Cheeba.
SLOAN
Why don't you call him?
MANTAN
For what? He left. Not me.
EXT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT
The limo drives past the World Famous Apollo Theatre in
Harlem, a big crowd is in front.
TIGHT ON THEATRE
It READS: MANTAN THE MARVELOUS
INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
It's an unruly, fired up crowd that can be heard all the way
back here.
SLOAN
You're sure this is a good idea.
MANTAN
My people love me.
He kisses her, she doesn't resist.
SLOAN
I love you.
After a long, deep kiss she gently pulls back.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
I'll be down front. You better
start putting your face on.
MANTAN
Y'know what?
SLOAN
What?
MANTAN
You look beautiful like that.
INT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT
Sloan takes a seat down front.
106.
INT. DRESSING ROOM
Mantan, face already done, puts on the firetruck red lipstick.
INT. APOLLO THEATRE
Sloan is looking around this boisterous crowd when she sees
ON THE MAU-MAU'S
In one of the side boxes.
ON BIG BLACK
He waves to his sister.
ON SLOAN
She knows her brother and his clan are up to no good as the
house lights go black.
ANGLE ON STAGE
Honeycutt walks out on stage. The audience goes crazy.
HONEYCUTT
Thank you so very much. Show me
some love.
He laughs.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
Thank you. My name is Honeycutt
and I want to welcome you to a very
special evening. It's always great
coming back to the World Famous
Apollo Theatre.
The audience applauds.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
As everybody knows if you can make
it here on this stage in front of
the most discriminating audience in
the world you can make it anywhere.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's show
some real Uptown love for Mantan
The Marvelous!
The curtain goes up and Mantan the Marvelous stands there,
arms raised. He starts to do his thing.
107.
ON MAU-MAU BOX
Led by Big Black, they start shouting insults at Mantan.
ON STAGE
Mantan is a pro, he doesn't stop. In fact, this makes him
dance harder and harder.
ON SLOAN
She leaves her seat and goes to stop her brother.
ON STAGE
Mantan is moving and grooving. The unrest in the audience
has picked up.
ON AUDIENCE
They start to "boo." The tide has turned. Encouraged, the
Mau-Mau's pick it up another notch.
ON MANTAN
He's human after all, and he does hear the boos. Don't let
those athletes in the papers fool you. You hear the boos
and nobody, nobody except Dennis Rodman likes to be booed.
Mantan is getting rattled.
ON MAU-MAU'S BOX
Sloan rushes into the box and they are quiet. They don't
have to say or shout a thing. The rough Apollo crowd is
doing it all themselves.
TWO SHOT ON SLOAN AND BIG BLACK
The sister and big brother look at each other. There is no
love between them.
SLOAN
This doesn't change a thing. I
will still love him.
Big Black can't believe what he has just heard.
ON STAGE
Now projectiles are raining down upon Mantan. This has
turned into a RUCKUS, a BROUHAHA, a DONNYBROOK. Honeycutt
races onto the stage to pull off the still tap dancing
Mantan as the Harlem natives BUMRUSH the stage. THE WORM
HAS TURNED.
108.
ON MAU-MAU'S BOX
Mantan, led by Honeycutt, runs for his life.
ON MOB
They chase him.
ON BACKSTAGE DOOR
Mantan is hauling ass.
EXT. BACKSTAGE
The door crashes open, Mantan rockets out into an open car
door.
ON CAR DOOR
The door slams.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
The car spins away.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Delacroix is behind the wheel. This is the most shaken
we've seen Mantan to date.
DELACROIX
Pull ya self together.
Mantan is distraught.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
What are you? A man or a mouse?
Are you a punk? Punking out on me?
MANTAN
No.
DELACROIX
You getting scared because some
people don't like what you are doing?
MANTAN
Yo, DeLa, they tried to lynch my
black ass up in dat piece.
109.
DELACROIX
You've made it from the guttermost
to the uppermost. Don't you know
you should never let them see you
sweat. Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
MANTAN
Yeah.
DELACROIX
And now is definitely not the time
to bitch up.
EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT
Delacroix speeds away.
INT. BET STUDIO - NIGHT
Mantan is on the BET show with host TAVIS SMILEY.
TAVIS SMILEY
Our guest tonight is the
extraordinary, talented performer,
Mantan. Thanks for coming in.
MANTAN
Tavis, thank you for having me.
TAVIS SMILEY
Before we begin, I want to thank
you for coming on my show for your
first television interview. You
could have chosen Mike Wallace,
Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley,
whatnot but you're here.
MANTAN
I'm more comfortable around my
people.
TAVIS SMILEY
Let's jump right into it. Your
show has sparked a world of
controversy, provoked a tone of
dialogue. How do you see all of
this?
MANTAN
Yo, Tavis, check it out. This is
the two-one, the 21st century and
it's all about the money. Like my
man Mase says, "it's all about the
Benjamins."
110.
TAVIS SMILEY
Money and nothing else?
MANTAN
Money makes the world go round. It
ain't no joke being poor. I know
whatI'mtalkin''bout.
Y'knowwhatI'msayin'? I've lived on
the street. I've been homeless.
I've learned how to play the game,
work the game, be in the game.
TAVIS SMILEY
Is it inevitable that the game
plays you?
MANTAN
No if you go with the flow, Tavis.
That's what a lot of Negroes don't
understand. Protesting isn't gonna
do a damn thing. If people don't
like our satire in our number one
hit show then don't watch it. Or
better yet write your own show. Do
it better.
TAVIS SMILEY
Don't you feel that is a simplistic
retort?
MANTAN
I don't know what a retort is, but
it's simple. Mantan - The New
Millennium Minstrel Show is
UNIVERSAL. It's not just for
Negroes in Compton or 125th in
Harlem. This is America. Our
ancestors helped build this country,
we got a right, just like everybody
else. I'm not gonna box myself in.
This show makes people think, and
they're laughing at the same time.
TAVIS SMILEY
I admit, that's a very hard thing
to do. Quickly let's go to the
phones before we pay the bills and
hear from our proud sponsors, DA
BOMB. 125% PURE PLEASURE MALT
LIQUOR. IT MAKES YOU WANNA GET YA
FREAK ON AND TIMMI HILLNIGGER.
125% AUTHENTIC GIT-TOE GEAR WHEN
YOU WANT TO BE GIT-TOED FABULOUS.
(MORE)
111.
TAVIS SMILEY (CONT'D)
Our first caller is Big Black from
Brooklyn. Go 'head.
ON MANTAN
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
Microphone check, one, two. One,
two. Yo Tavis, I be lovin' yo show
but Mantan you is foul. Why you
perpetrating? You a sellout.
MANTAN
That's our opinion.
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
You're a traitor to the race. A
tool for the Caucasoids.
MANTAN
Why? Because I'm successful?
Because I don't use "Causcasoids"
as an excuse for not fulfilling my
dreams?
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
I ain't hearing all dat noise. You
getting played and you don't even
know it.
TAVIS SMILEY
And Big Black from Brooklyn, what
do you do?
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
What do I do?
TAVIS SMILEY
What do you do?
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
I'm a revolutionary.
MANTAN
That's a job?
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
That's a full time job, especially
when sellouts like you are running
around, acting insane.
TAVIS SMILEY
That's enough.
112.
BIG BLACK (O.S.)
And another thing, you better stay
away from my sister or you better...
CLICK!!!
TAVIS SMILEY
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no
need to go there. We can all agree
to disagree without making threats.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Sloan turns off the TV.
DELACROIX
Why'd you do that?
SLOAN
I don't want to hear it.
DELACROIX
How long have you and Hambone been
hangin' out?
SLOAN
You're the one that put us together.
We're friends.
DELACROIX
That crazy brother of yours doesn't
think so.
SLOAN
He's just playing big brother.
DELACROIX
Oh, is he? You getting jiggy with
Mantan?
SLOAN
Please don't go there.
DELACROIX
Dunwitty and I feel you've been
getting too close to him, getting
his mind all messed up.
SLOAN
I can't lie to him. If he asks me
something, I tell him what I think.
DELACROIX
Do you have to be so damn forthright?
113.
SLOAN
DeLa, you should try it sometime.
Come into the light.
DELACROIX
Light?
SLOAN
That which has been hidden in
darkness is now in the light. This
bucket of blood.
DELACROIX
You can talk all that mumbo jumbo
if you want to but your hands are
much bloody. I know where I made
my big mistake. I have a general
rule, never get involved
romantically with somebody crazier
than you.
CUT TO FLASHBACK
INT. MIDTOWN HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Delacroix and Sloan are taking off their clothes.
DELACROIX
This is crazy.
SLOAN
That's why it will be so much fun.
They kiss, fall half undressed upon the motel bed.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT
SLOAN
That was a mistake, but I don't
regret it.
DELACROIX
The first and only time. A big
mistake. I'm gonna have to ask you
not to see Mantan anymore.
SLOAN
Work related or otherwise?
114.
DELACROIX
Otherwise. I trust you know the
difference. You're an intelligent
woman, finished at NYU.
SLOAN
DeLa, kiss my big black ass.
DELACROIX
And that's how you got me in the
first place.
Sloan pulls a 3/4 inch cassette out of her bag and hands it
to him.
SLOAN
I want you to please view this. It
may save your Life.
INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - DAY
Mantan and Delacroix are in the middle of a heated discussion.
DELACROIX
You shouldn't even be mad at me
over Sloan.
MANTAN
What you did is dead wrong.
DELACROIX
Oh, is it? Buddy boy, in this
business if people don't produce,
they get fired.
MANTAN
Sloan is the hardest working person
I've ever met.
DELACROIX
Let me ask you a question, if I may.
How do you think she got the job in
the first place? I don't mean to
burst your bubble, Mantan the
Marvelous, but Sloan is an
opportunity.
MANTAN
I don't believe it.
DELACROIX
Do I have to spell it out for you?
In fact, go ask Sloan yourself.
115.
INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - DAY
Mantan is grilling Sloan.
MANTAN
How did you get this gig?
SLOAN
Worked my black ass off, first as
an intern, then worked my way up to
this position.
MANTAN
You leave something out?
SLOAN
After my internship expired, Dela
was impressed and offered me a
position as his assistant.
MANTAN
And?
SLOAN
And what?
MANTAN
Stop playing me Sloan.
SLOAN
Just ask me what you want to know.
MANTAN
Oh, you gonna make me say it.
SLOAN
Say what, Manray?
MANTAN
Did you ever sleep with DeLa?
SLOAN
We did it one time, only once. It
had nothing to do with the job, it
was stupid. Everything I've got
I've earned.
MANTAN
Aw, c'mon.
SLOAN
That's ancient history. That has
nothing to do with you and I.
116.
MANTAN
So you say. Sloan, you wuz gonna
use me up just like you used Dela?
Work it to the top. I never
imagined people in this biz could
flip on you like "IHOP." I'm damn
happy DeLa fired ya ass.
SLOAN
Forget about me, are you a puppet
for DeLa?
MANTAN
Don't try to change to the subject.
SLOAN
Why don't you answer?
MANTAN
I know I won't be your puppet.
SLOAN
You can go now.
MANTAN
I wuz leaving anyway, for good.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT
As usual, the clan is smoking and drinking DA BOMB, a thick
marijuana haze hangs over the studio.
1/16TH BLACK
Yo, I got da bomb plan. We gonna
hook homeslice Mantan up nicely.
He holds up a floppy disk.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Delacroix sits behind the desk. He's bought even more Black
Collectibles, he's surrounded by them.
ON DELACROIX
He dials the phone.
DELACROIX
Hello, Mommy, how are you?
117.
ORCHID (O.S.)
I'm doing okay. Been reading about
your show, it's all over everywhere.
I watched it's all over everywhere.
I watched it once. I thought you
said there would be no buffoonery.
DELACROIX
You going to attack me too. The
show is a hit. Aren't you happy
for me?
INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE
ORCHID
Of course I'm happy for you.
You've worked very hard for your
success.
DELACROIX (O.S.)
Yes I have, very hard. Has Daddy
called?
ORCHID
No.
ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX
Not at all?
ORCHID (O.S.)
You know how your Daddy is.
DELACROIX
If and when he calls, please don't
forget to ask him if he's seen
Mantan.
ORCHID (O.S.)
I won't forget. When are you
coming up here to see your mother?
DELACROIX
Soon.
Delacroix hangs up the phone. He takes out some change from
his pocket and puts a quarter in the hand of his Jolly
Nigger Bank.
TIGHT ON JNB
Delacroix flips the lever and the quarter flies into the
MOUTH as the EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.
118.
Delacroix does this several times. CLOSEUPS of the BLACK
COLLECTIBLES in the office.
CLOSER ON JNB
Delacroix is staring at the JNB when its MOUTH OPENS, a
quarter flies in and its EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.
ON DELACROIX
He is incredulous.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
When I thought or imagined that my
favorite Jolly Nigger Bank, an
inanimate object, a piece of cold,
cast iron, was moving by itself...
Delacroix slowly, carefully approaches the bank and picks it
off the table.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...I knew I was getting paranoid.
Did I really see what I saw or was
I buggin'?
ON JNB
It's stopped moving.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Honeycutt is warming up the crazed "Black Face"-wearing
audience. He points to a YOUNG WHITE MALE, BOBBY
HONEYCUTT
Is you a nigga?
BOBBY
Hell yeah, I'm a nigga.
The AUDIENCE CHEERS WILDLY. Honeycutt points to an old
WHITE LADY, LOUISE, a senior citizen.
HONEYCUTT
Ma'am, is you a nigga?
LOUISE
Yesiree Bob, you darn tootin' I'm a
nigger.
The AUDIENCE loses it as Honeycutt hugs Louise as if she's a
grandmother.
119.
INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Mantan looks up at his makeup laid out before him on the
counter.
TIGHT ON MANTAN
He stares at himself in the dressing room mirror. Mantan
can't stand to BLACK UP anymore.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Honeycutt stands next to a young black couple TRE and STACY.
HONEYCUTT
Are you a nigger?
TRE
Yo!
HONEYCUTT
Are you a nigga?
STACY
Honeycutt, I'm a really real
niggress.
Stacy gets a standing ovation.
HONEYCUTT
You. You. Him. Her. We're all
God's niggas. Even the lost souls
who don't know it are niggas cuz
niggas is a beautiful thing.
INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
As Mantan walks down the hallway WE NOTICE he is not dressed
in his costume and he has no BLACK FACE on.
EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
A Worker is painting over Sleep 'N Eat's name on the door
and replacing it with HONEYCUTT
MANTAN
They don't waste any time, do they?
INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
The phone rings next to Delacroix and he answers.
120.
DELACROIX
Delacroix. What?! I'll be right
down.
Dunwitty looks at him.
INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Delacroix is met by BUNNING, the STAGE MANAGER.
BUNNING
You better talk to him. He won't
listen to me.
Delacroix walks over to Mantan who stands in a corner.
DELACROIX
Mantan, we got a show to tape.
MANTAN
My name is Manray, goddamnit.
DELACROIX
Kook and the Gang, it's Manray.
Let's do the taping. You go back
to your dressing room, get dressed
and blacken up.
MANRAY
I'm not playin' myself no mo'.
DELACROIX
How you sound?
MANRAY
I won't do it anymore.
DELACROIX
Manray, I'm very sorry about ya boy
Cheeba and Sloan. Believe me, it
gave me no joy pulling ya coattail
about her, just lookin' out for a
brother. I feel you, all this
stuff happenin' at once but you
can't let if affect your work. You
gotta be professional.
MANRAY
I'm always gonna be that. But I
ain't doing no more buck dancing.
DELACROIX
No costume. No blackface.
121.
MANRAY
No. No.
Manray leads the way to the stage.
BUNNING
I should notify Dunwitty.
DELACROIX
And I should put my foot dead up in
yo' ass.
BUNNING
I won't be held responsible.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Honeycutt stands in front of the drawn curtain.
HONEYCUTT
We apologize for the holdup but
without further delay, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls, let's
give it up for Mantan.
A THUNDEROUS ROAR FROM THE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
C'mon, don't be niggardly, give it
up. Show Mantan some love.
The CURTAIN RISES and MANRAY stands before them in his
regular street clothes and NO BLACK FACE.
ON AUDIENCE
The THUNDEROUS ROAR is CUT OFF LIKE the LIGHTS, LIKE CON
EDISON PULLS THE PLUG WHEN YOU DON'T PAY THE BILL.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
Dunwitty is HYSTERICAL.
DUNWITTY
Stop the tape. Stop the tape.
Delacroix. Get me Delacroix.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Manray speaks to the silence.
_
122.
MANRAY
Cousins, I want all of you to go to
your windows. Go to your windows
and yell, scream with all the life
you can muster up inside your
assaulted, bruised amd battered
bodies.
ON MANRAY
MANRAY
I'm sick and tired of being a
nigger and I'm not gonna take it
anymore.
ON VARIOUS AUDIENCE MEMBERS
Black and white. Male and female. Young and old. All in
black face.
ON MANRAY
He collapses onto the stage and the AUDIENCE sits on their
hands. Manray gets up and begins to dance.
ON STAGE
Dunwitty runs to Bunning.
DUNWITTY
Drop the curtain. Drop the curtain.
Bunning drops the curtain. Security rushes onto the stage
and grabs Manray.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
Escort him out the building now!
MANRAY
I wasn't finished doing my dance.
DUNWITTY
But you are finished. Done.
Nigga's like you are a dime a dozen.
I'm gonna slide Honeycutt right
into ya spot. We won't miss a step.
Get him outta here.
The security guards move Manray as Dunitty glares at
Delacroix. Honeycutt is all smiles, he's being bumped to
the top.
DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
DeLa, I'll deal with you next.
123.
EXT. BACKSTAGE
The security guards toss Manray out the stage door. Manray
looks down the alley and it's empty except for a parked SUV.
He picks himself up and does a joyous dance. This is
Manray's dance of Freedom.
ON STREET
The Big Black Chevy Suburban creeps down the alley to a
dancing Manray and comes to rest right in front of him.
Manray tries to shield his eyes from the hi-beam headlights.
MANRAY
Whaddup?
No one comes out.
MANRAY (CONT'D)
Whaddup?
The doors open and the Mau-Mau's file out.
BIG BLACK
You truly are a dancing fool.
1/16TH BLACK
Yo Black, you looking for trouble.
MANRAY
Don't start none, won't be none.
The Mau-Mau's are dying laughing. Manray tries to walk
through them. They block him. Manray attempts to climb
over the suburban. He's quickly nabbed, give a good ole
Brooklyn Beatdown, then thrown into the rear of the vehicle.
EXT. EMPTY BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT
The Mau-Mau Mobile rolls up to an abandoned factory.
ON CHEVY SUBURBAN
The Mau-Mau's quickly carry Manray out from the back of the
vehicle into the factory.
INT. FACTORY - NIGHT
Manray sits, feet and hands tied, in the middle of a
cavernous space. A digital video camera stands on a tripod
in front of him.
BIG BLACK
You is one dead nigger.
124.
MANRAY
What did I do?
BIG BLACK
What did you do?
The Mau-Mau's laugh.
BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
Brothers, he asks what did he do?
DOUBLE BLACK
If you don't know there is nuthin'
we can do for you.
BIG BLACK
Nigga, you will be executed.
ON MANRAY
His face says he can't believe this is happening.
MANRAY
For singing and dancing?
1/16TH BLACK
You will be done in front of the
world.
MO BLACK
The whole world will be watching.
1/16TH BLACK
Via the internet.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
The Mau-Mau's had come up with a
brilliant, sadistic plan to
broadcast Mantan's execution LIVE
over the internet.
1/16TH BLACK
We have pirated broadcasting
facilities. No way we can be found
out. We're in cyberspace.
JO BLACK
Nobody will find you till it's too
late.
MONTAGE
Various newsrooms, computer screens, people running,
shouting, yelling over phones.
125.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
The Mau-Mau's sent anonymous e-mail
proclamations to the websites of
CNN, ABC, MSNBC and CBS. It was an
invite to witness the Dance of
Death, 9 PM, prime time, tomorrow
night on a site to be designated at
a later date.
INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
Delacroix and Cheeba are being interrogated in two adjoining
spaces. WE ARE seeing them through the two-way mirrors.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
It's no joke getting grilled by the
FBI for five houts.
Delacroix SCREAMS.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
I don't know anything.
FBI AGENT
We know you're involved in this
abduction.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
CHEEBA
You know more than me. Why would I
do something like that to my best
friend? Why?
FBI AGENT #2
You tell us.
EXT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
It's a mob scene as the media frenzy heightens. Delacroix
and Cheeba try to fight their way through the print and
broadcast journalists trying to question them as they leave
FBI headquarters.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
Somehow, someway, somebody had
tipped the sharks off. It was a
feeding frenzy.
Delacroix and Cheeba start pushing people out of the way as
they get in to their waiting car.
126.
INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM - NIGHT
There is a flurry of activity - people man phones, computers
all HI-TECH.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
The X-Force was brought onto the
case. When something involves the
internet, these are the people IBM,
XEROX, the CIA, FBI, even the US
Government go to.
ON CLOCK
It reads "T-minus 19 HOURS 22 MINUTES."
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It was a race against time. The
Dance of Death.
INT. CNS STUDIO - NIGHT
Dunwitty is taping a spot.
DUNWITTY
Hello, my name is Thomas Dunwitty.
I'm the Senior V.P. of the
entertainment division here at CNS.
I come to you with a heavy heart.
INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
She's watching Dunwitty on TV.
DUNWITTY
This abduction is a cowardly, vile,
sinful and dastardly act and I
promise these creeps will be
prosecuted to the fullest extent of
the law. This is an attack on your
American way of life...
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT
He's watching the same.
DUNWITTY
We here at CNS are offering a
$100,000 cash award to any
information that leads to the safe
return home of our dear friend,
Mantan.
127.
INT. CNS STUDIO
ON DUNWITTY
DUNWITTY
Help us and in addition you will
get a guest-starring speaking role
on the next Mantan - The New
Millennium Minstrel Show, plus an
added bonus: a lifetime of Da Bomb
125% Malt Liquor. Let's you get ya
"freak on", as well as a full
wardrobe of Timmi Hillnigger Active
Git Toe Wear. Mantan, may God
bless you...
INT. X-FORCE HEADQUARTERS - DAY
Delacroix and Sloan hurry to stay with BARNETT, he's the
commander of the X-Force.
BARNETT
Let's go, time's wasting.
INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM
They follow Barnett into the war room.
BARNETT
They sent the notice out on an
anonymous remailer.
SLOAN
A what?
BARNETT
It's used to mask the origin of an
email, also the computer from which
it's sent.
DELACROIX
There oughta be a law...
BARNETT
Not yet, anyway, it's legal. We
will find the source where it's
being broadcasted and hosted.
We'll get the people that
bushwhacked Mantan.
SLOAN
Before Manray is dead?
128.
BARNETT
I can't answer that.
ON CLOCK
It reads "6 HOURS 16 MINUTES."
MONTAGE
Police squads, SWAT Teams are busting into the wrong homes,
apartments, projects, hi-tech computer labs looking for the
Mau-Mau's.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
SWAT teams all up and down the East
Coast busted in on known dissidents
looking for Manray. All the tips
called in, info gathered through
surveillance proved for naught.
INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM
BARNETT
The both of you should go home. We
will keep you abreast.
SLOAN
This is looking like a needle in a
haystack. It's hopeless.
Delacroix holds Sloan as he leads her out. She is having
difficulty breathing with her asthma.
DELACROIX
Thank you for your help.
BARNETT
The X-Force always gets their man.
INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
He sits in front of his GIANT SCREEN, on the desk in front
of him is the 3/4 inch cassette Sloan gave him. He picks it
up and turns it on.
DELACROIX (V.O.)
It was ten o'clock and the Dance of
Death was about to commence.
129.
ON MONITOR
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Since a lot of people still didn't
have computers, the networks sought
a court order to carry it live,
taking the feed off the internet.
It was granted. A life snuff
broadcast right into your living
room.
ON DELACROIX
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I had to give it to the Mau-Mau',
they definitely had a sense of
irony. They chose www.nigger.com
as the website to pirate.
INT. FACTORY - NIGHT
The Mau-Mau's ironically wear WHITE MASKS, they stand behind
the tied-up Mantan. A device alters their voices.
BIG BLACK
We are LIVE on the cyberspace.
Whereas Mantan is a TOM...
BLACK BLACK
Whereas Mantan is a disgrace...
SMOOTH BLACK
Whereas Mantan is a head-scratching,
foot-shuffling Negro...
1/16TH BLACK
Whereas, whereas, where's the ass?
The Mau-Mau's laugh.
BIG BLACK
Whereas Mantan the dancing fool,
you are condemned to death.
JO BLACK
The Dance of Death.
1/16th Black unties Manray.
MONTAGE
WE SEE DELACROIX, SLOAN, CHEEBA WITH LOURDESE, DUNWITTY,
JUNEBUG AND DOT, ORCHID, THE X-FORCE WATCHING THIS SPECTACLE
ON COMPUTERS OR TV SCREENS.
130.
ON COMPUTER SCREEN
We see a CARTOON, Yosemite Sam is shooting at the feet of
Bugs Bunny with his six-shooter in each hand. Bugs Bunny is
doing a fast dance, dodging bullets.
ON MONITOR
The Mau-Mau's shoot at the feet of Manray.
BIG BLACK
Dance nigger.
Manray taps.
SMOOTH BLACK
You got anything to say for yourself?
MANRAY
If you're gonna kill me, kill me.
SMOOTH BLACK
Don't worry.
INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
She is having an asthma attack, it was brought on by the
proceedings. Sloan uses her inhaler.
INT. FACTORY - NIGHT
Each Mau-Mau has a 9mm and is firing it at the feet of
Manray. They scream "Faster!" and "Dance!" Manray is
hoofing. He's never tapped this fast, at this breakneck
pace, ever. But it's evident his dance is one of defiance.
He's not dancing to stay alive.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
He screams at the monitor.
DELACROIX
Don't dance. Don't do it.
INT. FACTORY
The Mau-Mau's have noticed Manray's strong will, his pride
and they don't like it. They shoot even more at his feet.
BIG BLACK
You ain't Blak.
DOUBLE BLACK
Blak you ain't.
131.
SMOOTH BLACK
You a Oreo. Not Blak. Not BLAK.
The Mau-Mau's start to chant, "Blak, blak, blak."
INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT
She hears this and quickly picks up the phone to call the
authorities.
INT. FACTORY
MANRAY
There is nothing you can do to me.
I'm wearing the taps of Bill
"Bojangles" Robinson.
Manray is shot in one foot. Then the other.
BIG BLACK
Let's seeya dance now, Mr. Bojangles.
Manray somehow manages to right himself and starts to dance
again. The Mau-Mau's can't believe it.
ON MANRAY
He dances like his life depends on it. Despite the fact his
feet are a bloody mess.
BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
You ain' BLAK.
He shoots Manray in the chest, the Mau-Mau's follow him and
he does a spastic last jig as the 9mm bullets riddle his
twitching body.
ON TV SCREEN
It goes black.
MONTAGE
Helicopters fly through the night sky. Cop cars and trucks,
SWAT team vehicles are on the move. SIRENS BLARE.
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE
Delacroix's head is on his desk. He has been crying. On
cue the Black Collectibles start to move. The Jolly Nigger
Bank, Aunt Jemima's, Mammies, etc., they are animated for
REAL.
132.
ON DELACROIX
His head pops up as he sees the objects. He too is in
BLACKFACE. In a rage, he starts to throw them against the
wall.
DELACROIX
Leave me alone. Get away from me.
You spearchucker. You black sambo.
You nigger pickaninny. Fat Mammie.
Delacroix has finally lost it. He looks at the shambles
he's made of his office.
EXT. FACTORY - CONTINUOUS
The Mau-Mau's come out of the factory high as a kite. Each
has a big fat joint or a 64 oz. of DA BOMB. They're also
doing a free-style rap about their execution.
ON CHEVY SUBURBAN
They get in when the squak of police walkie-talkie's clicks.
BIG BLACK
It's the man!
What follows is a horrifying display of firepower. All the
Mau-Mau's bodies are doing the Bonnie and Clyde Sonny
Corleone Dance of Death as bullets tear into them and the
Suburban. Not one of them is able to get a shot off. The
shooting stops. The twitching stops. All's quiet. 1/16th
Black comes out with his hands up.
1/16TH BLACK
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I've
been held hostage. They made me
part of them against my own free
will. Don't shoot!
The cops quickly pounce on 1/16th Black.
1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
I'm WHITE. I'm WHITE! Look at me,
I'm white!
INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE
Delacroix is on the floor when the doorknob turns. It's
Sloan and she has a gun in one hand and her inhaler in the
other. She's wheezing like mad.
SLOAN
Get up and put that tape in.
133.
She points the gun at his head.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Do what I say.
Delacroix takes the cassette tape off his desk and puts it
in the 3/4 inch desk.
SLOAN (CONT'D)
Don't make me have to use this.
DELACROIX
I didn't think this was in your
studies at NYU.
Delacroix hits the PLAY button.
ON SCREEN
IMAGES. HISTORY. VISUALS. Sloan has put together a tape
of the worst, most racist, stereotypical images from cinema
and TV over the last 100 years. With these images there's
also a laugh-track.
SLOAN
Watch this. This is what you
contributed to. Because of you,
Manray is dead. Mu brother's dead.
It's all because of you.
Delacroix can't watch the monitor.
DELACROIX
I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone
would get hurt. I'm sorry, please
give me that gun before you hurt
yourself. Give me the gun.
He reaches for it. BOOM! Sloan screams.
SLOAN
I told you but you wouldn't listen.
You never listened to me.
DELACROIX
Give me the gun.
She reluctantly hands it to him.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
Go, get out of here. Go home.
Sloan runs out. Delacroix slumps to the floor, WIPES HER
FINGERPRINTS off the revolver.
134.
ON DELACROIX
He looks at the monitor, the tape still playing.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
As I bled to death, as my very
precious life oozed out of me all I
could think of was that I never
made my father proud. My mother
didn't count.
ON SCREEN
We see STEP 'N FETCHIT, MANTAN MORELAND and WILLIE BEST.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Everything I did, no matter how
great or small, was always
extraordinary to her. With Daddy
it was a different ball game. He
never saw me. Pierre Delacroix.
ON DELACROIX
A pool of blood has formed around his dying body.
DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Now it was time to buy the farm,
for me to meet my maker. Goodbye
cousins, and please tune in next
week for the Best of Mantan - The
New Millennium Minstrel Show.
ON SCREEN
We see MANTAN in BLACKFACE doing his BUCKDANCE
CLOSE ON DELACROIX
He looks at Mantan.
DELACROIX (CONT'D)
For the love of Joseph and Mary,
what have I done? My God, what
have I done?!
Delacroix slumps over dead.
CUT TO:
135.
ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF MALCOLM X
MALCOLM X
You've been had. You've been took.
You've been led astray. Run amok.
You've been bamboozled.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
END CREDITS.
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| Bamboozled
Writers : Spike Lee
Genres : Comedy Drama
User Comments
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