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                             CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER


                         
                                    Written by
                         
                          Rashida Jones & Will McCormack
                         
                         
                         
                         
                                                               5.01.11


          1 MONTAGE OVER THE OPENING CREDITS TO SUNNY LEVINE'S "LOVE 1
                          RHINO":
                         
           A progression of images of CELESTE and JESSE, ages 18 to 30.
           Visual media evolves with them throughout the years.
                         
                         
          A1 POLAROIDS OF HIGH SCHOOL MOMENTS: A1
           Celeste is a chronic overachiever and Jesse is sweet, goofy
           and funny. He makes her laugh. They are best friends but it's
           clear that Jesse wishes they were more.
           Close-up of their hands crossed, making "C" and "J" shapes.
           Celeste and her football player boyfriend, Mike, kissing.
           Jesse watches enviously from the sidelines, holding Mike's
           helmet.
                         
                         
          B1 DIPOSABLE CAMERA PHOTOS: B1
           They go to college together, study together, drink together.
           They are still best friends.
           Junior year, Celeste with Saleem, her hot, black militant
           boyfriend. They kiss passionately.
           A moment later, Jesse poses reluctantly with the couple,
           holding up a "Black Power" fist, weakly.
                         
                         
          C1 SUPER 8 FOOTAGE: C1
           Senior year, Jesse draws "C AND J FOREVER" in a pristine,
           snowy forest with a stick; he and Celeste laugh.
           A moment later, they kiss deeply. They are finally together.
                         
                         
          D1 DIGITAL VIDEO FOOTAGE OF "CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER": D1
           On an engraved necklace, carved into a tree, written on a
           wet beach, and on their wedding cake.
                         
                         
          E1 BLACK AND WHITE HI-RES PHOTOS SHOW THEM MARRIED: E1
           Moving into their house, dancing, reading side by side,
           kissing. This is true, everlasting love, the real kind.
                         
                         
          F1 SHUTTERFLY ALBUM PHOTOS FROM FRIENDS' PARTIES: F1
           Celeste and Jesse, in silence, amongst joyful party guests.
           Jesse telling a joke and Celeste no longer laughing.
           Jesse and Celeste on a bench, distant.
           The next picture, hugging.
                         
                         
          G1 MACBOOK PHOTO BOOTH SNAPSHOT: G1
           Jesse asleep on Celeste's shoulder as she kisses him on the
           head.
           2.
                         
                         
          2 INT. TOYOTA PRIUS-DAY 2
                         
           It's a bright, clear Los Angeles Saturday afternoon. Celeste
           and Jesse, now 30, both sing along to "Love Rhino," the song
           heard under the montage. Jesse drives while Celeste is on her
           Blackberry. Jesse, boyishly handsome, wears an old tee and a
           hooded sweatshirt. Celeste is wearing all black workout
           gear. She is always wearing all black.
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm a Love Rhino...
                         
                          CELESTE JESSE
           Don't worry `bout me, I've Dont' worry `bout me, I've
           got a enough love for got enough love, for the two
           the...(her Blackberry rings) us. Oh please...
           oh shit, I gotta take this.
           Turn it down.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           ...I'm a Love...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jess, turn it down, seriously!
                         
           She playfully slaps him. He turns it down. A little.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hello? Hi. With Jesse, running
           errands. (to Jesse) Turn it down.
           More. (back to the phone) Yeah, I
           can do it now. No, it'll be fast,
           right? (To Jesse) Hey, I have to
           give a quick sound bite for the New
           York Times, so no noise please? For
           a second?
                         
                          JESSE
           Maybe. I may have an important call
           coming in too, so...
                         
           They both know he has no important call coming in.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (on the phone) Okay. Ready? This
           year all trends point towards
           simplicity and comfort.
                         
           Celeste is momentarily distracted by a bad driver in front of
           them.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Jess, just go around him! (To the
           phone) Sorry.
                          (MORE)
           3.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Consumers will be less likely to go
           out for entertainment.
                         
          While Celeste is dictating, Jesse is getting bored. He starts
          looking through the middle console. He finds something. A
          melted tube of Chapstick. Ew. Ooh, a cigarette. Jesse lights
          the cigarette, takes a drag. Celeste looks at Jesse and
          signals to him, "Can I have a drag?"
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Uhhh, things like Voodoo, casual
           wear and cookbooks will see a huge
           spike in the market.
                         
          He hands her the cigarette and she promptly chucks it out the
          window.
                         
                          JESSE
           What the shit??
                         
                          CELESTE
           (she whispers to Jesse) Shhh. Phone
           call.(back to her call) That's
           enough of a blurb, right?
                         
          Jesse is now checking out nose hairs in the visor mirror. He
          then looks at his teeth.
                         
                          JESSE
           Does this tooth look dark?
                         
          Celeste just glares at him.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay. Call me back if they need
           more.
                         
          Jesse looks at his tooth again in the rearview mirror.
                         
                          JESSE
           Like a little darker than the rest?
                         
          Celeste waves her hand to quiet Jesse.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay, thanks bye. (to Jesse) Can't
           you just sit still for two minutes?
           And we talked about this, no more
           smoking!
                         
                          JESSE
           I wasn't smoking, I just found it.
           4.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Come on.
                         
           They drive by "Urban Light," Chris Burden's installation at
           the entrance of LACMA. They are rows of restored street
           lamps. Celeste sneers.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Really? Street lamps? No. Not doin'
           it. That is not art.
                         
                          JESSE
           I think it's beautiful.
                         
           A beat passes. Then, Jesse pulls over.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What are you doing? Why are you
           stopping?
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, your appointment is not until
           noon and this is that place with
           the deadstock vintage Italian
           fabric. I thought it would be good
           for the guest room windows.
                         
           Celeste is truly touched by the gesture.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh wow...you are so thoughtful.
                         
           Jesse smiles, proud of himself.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Thanks, Jess.
                         
           She gives him a kiss on the cheek. Jesse's phone rings, he
           answers.
                         
                          JESSE
           Whassup, muthafucka??
                         
           Celeste rolls her eyes and gets out of the car to look at
           fabric.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          3 INT. TOYOTA PRIUS-10 MINUTES LATER 3
                         
           Celeste is getting back in the car with some fabric swatches.
           5.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jess, that place is insane. They
           have tassels that were manufactured
           for Mussolini's mistress...
                         
                          JESSE
           (covering the phone) Sorry, I'm on
           the phone. It's important.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay then.
                         
          Celeste sits quietly while Jesse is on his call.
                         
                          JESSE
           Really? I just...don't know what to
           say. Thank you so much for calling
           me.
                         
          Celeste throws her hands up in silent celebration.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (whispers) Did you get the job??
                         
          Jesse signals with his finger, "one minute."
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, sometimes things are just
           meant to work out.
                         
          Celeste looks at him with anticipation.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Okay, great. Great. Talk soon. Bye.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Was that the job? Did you get the
           book job?
                         
                          JESSE
           No, but Celeste...
                         
          He looks at her and grabs her hand, with tears in his eyes.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           ...a swell came in last night. Out
           of the Northeast. It's overhead and
           it's glassy.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What the fuck are you talking
           about?
           6.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
          Malibu. The waves are peeling out
          there.
                         
                          CELESTE
          Is this about surfing? You're
          talking about going surfing.
          Unbelievable.
                         
                          JESSE
          No, this is best part. Skillz got a
          hi-def digital camera and he's
          gonna film me!!!
                         
                          CELESTE
          Oh, god.
                         
                          JESSE
          And we're gonna upload it on You
          Tube!
                         
                          CELESTE
          I'm not...
                         
                          JESSE
          What? Is that not awesome?
                         
                          CELESTE
          No, yeah, I just thought it was
          about the Slate job you interviewed
          for.
                         
                          JESSE
          Oh yeah. No. They haven't called
          yet. But if they don't think I'm
          the right artist to illustrate the
          book, then it's not the right job
          for me. You know what I mean?
                         
                          CELESTE
          I absolutely do, yes. You are a
          wonderful artist. But at some
          point, you will show the world that
          one day...right?
                         
                          JESSE
          Hey, can I drop you at home now?
          Because I just missed a wave.
                         
                          CELESTE
          Well...
                         
                          JESSE
          Wait! I just missed another one.
           7.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah. Take me home, it's fine.
                         
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          4 INT. TOYOTA PRIUS-30 MINUTES LATER 4
                         
           Jesse is dropping Celeste at home.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Be back by six so you can shower.
                         
                          JESSE
           Why shower?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Dinner with Beth and Tucker.
                         
                          JESSE
           Right, right.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Have fun shredding your glassy
           peel.
                         
                          JESSE
           Aw, so wrong.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Love you.
                         
                          JESSE
           Love you too.
                         
           He promptly blasts the radio and flashes their signature "C
           and J" hand sign. She flashes it back. He zooms off.
                         
                         
          5 INT. LITTLE DOM'S-NIGHT 5
                         
           Celeste and Jesse are on double date with BETH, 30, petite,
           and full of energy and TUCKER, 31, preppy in an indy way.
           These are their best friends from college. They're engaged.
                         
                          TUCKER
           Did you end up going to see that
           band at Spaceland last week?
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh, The Injured Saint? Yeah, dude.
           They are real. You know what? They
           should be your wedding band.
                          (MORE)
           8.
                         
                          JESSE (CONTD)
           They're loud but they're
           affordable.
                         
                          CELESTE
           They opened for Darcy Fudged His
           Knickers. Now, they're amazing.
           You'd be lucky to book them for
           your wedding. Or you should see if
           Emergency Breakthrough is
           available. The horn section is
           tight.
                         
                          BETH
           It's already done. We got the best
           swing band in New England.
           Sugarfoot and The Swingin' Scrod.
                         
                          TUCKER
           I told you, I'm not doing it. Swing
           is so late 90's, honey.
                         
          Beth leans over a gives him a deep kiss. She knows how to
          work him.
                         
                          BETH
           I love you. We'll talk about this
           later.
                         
          Celeste looks over the menu. Celeste and Jesse's next
          interaction is said with heavy, really bad German accents,
          which is hilarious--only to them.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So veee ahhh gawwnna share zeh beet
           zalad and zeh bolognese,
           riiiiiiight?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yawh. But I em murdering zeh creme
           brulee alooooone. No sharrrrring.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't vant dessert. I vill joost
           have bite oof yorrrs.
                         
                          JESSE
           Ve know zeh end of zat story. Yawh
           we doooooo!
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yawh!!!!
           9.
                         
                         
          Celeste and Jesse giggle at their stupid inside joke for a
          little too long. Then, there is a deafening lull in the
          conversation. Beth is buttering a piece of bread. She loudly
          drops the knife on her plate and buries her head in her
          hands.
                         
                          BETH
           I can't do this. I just can't.
                         
          Celeste is genuinely concerned about her friend.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Are you okay? Oh no...
                         
                          BETH
           It's just not right. I can't hold
           my tongue. We can't do this
           anymore.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Honey, weddings are stressful, I
           know all about it. But you guys
           we'll be fine!
                         
                          BETH
           NO. WE are fine. What the fuck are
           YOU TWO doing??
                         
          Jesse and Celeste look at Beth in amazement.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What do you mean?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, what do you mean?
                         
                          BETH
           What do I mean?? You guys are not
           together anymore! This is not
           normal! You've been separated for
           SIX MONTHS and you hang out every
           day like nothing's wrong! It's
           fucking weird!
                         
                          TUCKER
           Beth...
                         
                          BETH
           No, Tucker, you think it's weird
           too. Speak up for yourself.
                         
                          TUCKER
           It's weird. Let's not play charades
           anymore.
           10.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           No charades. We are separated and
           we're friends. You guys should be
           happy, all we did was fight before.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, you guys should be thrilled
           about this. You'll never have to
           pick sides.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, everyone's cool.
                         
                          BETH
           Everyone is not cool! This is not
           cool! It's just not working for
           me, I'm sorry.
                         
           Beth gets up and walks out. Celeste and Jesse sit there and
           stare at Tucker in silence.
                         
                          JESSE
           Bett iz zo angry.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yah, she iz uber angry. Yahhh.
                         
                          TUCKER
           Yeah, you guys are weird. I can't
           do this. It's fucked up.
                         
           Tucker gets up and leaves. Jesse and Celeste watch him leave
           and sip their wine quietly.
                         
                         
          6 INT. TOYOTA PRIUS-NIGHT-LATER 6
                         
           Celeste drives and Jesse is in the passenger seat. He has a
           tube of Vaseline Lip Therapy. He is stroking it rapidly as if
           it were a penis. This is not the first time.
                         
                          JESSE
           C, look...uhhhh!
                         
           Celeste looks at him. She joins in. She reaches over and
           pushes in on the tube. Vaseline comes out of the top. This
           looks a lot like a penis ejaculating.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ahhhhh! Oh god!
                         
           They both erupt in laughter. Even though this is the
           thousandth time they've done this stupid joke, it will always
           be funny. To them.
           11.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Beth and Tucker are crazy.
                         
                          JESSE
           Crazy.
                         
                          CELESTE
           It's not weird that we hang out.
           Do you think it's weird we hang
           out?
                         
                          JESSE
           No, of course not. You're my best
           friend.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah you too. I mean, we can't not
           hang out. The last time we didn't
           talk for longer than a week was in
           10th grade when you went to Space
           Camp Canada.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, that was 6 weeks of torture.
           I mean, the anti-gravity training
           was insane but I missed you.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          7 EXT. CELESTE'S DRIVEWAY- 10 MINUTES LATER 7
                         
           Celeste and Jesse stand in the driveway of Celeste's house.
           There is a bit of a linger.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, I'm exhausted.
                         
                          JESSE
           Me too.
                         
           Celeste walks to her front door with her key and Jesse heads
           towards the side gate with his key. It is now obvious that he
           is living in her guest house.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey, it's kinda chilly tonight,
           how's the heat in there?
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh, it's fine. I'm fine.
                         
           He keeps walking. He turns again to Celeste.
           12.
                         
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Sorry I'm still living here. Times
           are tough and money's tight so you
           know...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jesse, please, you can stay here as
           long as you like. It's your
           studio. It's actually really nice
           to have you here.
                         
                          JESSE
           For me too.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, don't forget, the contractor
           needs to get in there for
           measurements in the morning. So
           make sure your thingys, your
           sculptures, whatever...are out of
           the way.
                         
                          JESSE
           Got it.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Night.
                         
                          JESSE
           Night. Love you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Love you too.
                         
                         
          8 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-MORNING 8
                         
           Celeste's morning symphony is under way. She sits in front of
           a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of berries, a cup of coffee, 4
           neatly stacked newspapers, her laptop and the television
           tuned to CNN. She methodically eats, sips her coffee, reads
           the paper, watches TV, and surfs the internet. She is clearly
           a culture vulture. Jesse walks by outside his studio and does
           the "C and J" sign to Celeste. She does it back
           instinctively. Is it weird that we hang out so much? She
           shakes it off and titters. She's being ridiculous; it's fine.
                         
                         
          9 INT. COFFEE BEAN- MORNING 9
                         
           Celeste walks in, dressed impeccably. Again, in all black.
           She is in a rush, on her Blackberry, bombarded with a hefty
           pre-work crowd. People are in some semblance of a line,
           waiting to order.
           13.
                         
                         
          Celeste spots a man in a business suit, taking advantage of
          the confusion and cutting in front of a woman at the head of
          the line. He orders.
                         
                          BUSINESS MAN
           Large coffee, please.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Excuse me, sir?
                         
          The business man pretends to not hear her.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Sir? You?
                         
          She taps him on the arm. He turns around.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           You do realize that you just cut in
           front of a lot of people.
                         
                          BUSINESS MAN
           Oh. Sorry, I didn't know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Did you not?
                         
                          BUSINESS MAN
           I'm in a rush.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So you did know. And everyone's in
           a rush, so...
                         
          Other people in line are now paying attention. Celeste wants
          to let it go, but she can't.
                         
                          BUSINESS MAN
           Well, she was looking at the
           pastries, I didn't think she was
           ready to order.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, it's not just her. It's
           everyone behind her too. So, if you
           want to ask all these people if
           it's okay to cut in front of them
           because you are late, be my guest.
           Just don't assume that your time is
           more important than everyone
           else's.
                         
          The business man gets his coffee.
           14.
                         
                         
                          BUSINESS MAN
           Have a nice day.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (sotto) Prick.
                         
                         
          10 INT. POP FORM CONFERENCE ROOM-MORNING 10
                         
           Pop Form Headquarters looks like the future. No walls, just
           large glass slabs, separate the offices from each other.
                         
           Celeste is on camera, in the middle of conducting a live
           satellite interview for MSNBC.
                         
                          CELESTE
           American culture is dying. We have
           an unrelenting appetite for
           processed junk food, talentless pop
           stars like Riley Banks and recycled
           movie franchises like Transformers.
           The more we consume crap, the more
           we want crap.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          11 INT. MSNBC STUDIOS 11
                         
           Rachel Maddow is conducting the interview in studio.
                         
                          RACHEL MADDOW
           Sounds utterly hopeless. Is there
           an upshot?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I think there will be a groundswell
           movement towards simplicity.
           People will start to listen to
           their most rudimentary needs-- they
           will crave mental, spiritual and
           physical nourishment. It's back to
           basics.
                         
                          RACHEL MADDOW
           Wow, a lot to chew on. Well, thanks
           for being with us today. You're
           great, come back any time. For more
           on this gloomy but interesting
           subject, look out for trend
           forecaster, Celeste Martin's new
           book "Shitegeist," on bookshelves
           Monday.
           15.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thanks so much, Rachel.
                         
                         
          12 INT. SCOTT'S OFFICE-AFTERNOON 12
                         
           SCOTT, 40, Celeste's partner, gay but very straight, sharply
           dressed and bespectacled, sits at his desk. Celeste enters.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So I had dinner with the drama club
           last night.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Who's that?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Tucker and Beth. They're such
           dicks. They left in protest because
           they think Jesse and I are being
           "unhealthy." So judgy, right? We're
           fine.
                         
                          SCOTT
           You're only done when you're done.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Spare me the spiritual platitudes,
           Scotty. If we were gay,(she motions
           to Scott) no one would even
           question us being friends!
                         
                          SCOTT
           You and Jesse are clearly not ready
           to let each other go. And there's
           nothing wrong with that.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah there's nothing wrong with
           that. I mean, what do you think?
                         
                          SCOTT
           Well, to be honest...
                         
           Celeste looks at an e-mail her blackberry and interrupts.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wait, we're signing Riley Banks??
           When were you going to tell me?? I
           just trashed her on Rachel Maddow.
           Great.
           16.
                         
                         
                          SCOTT
           Yeah, that's why I wanted you to
           come in. It's a huge account..
                         
                          CELESTE
           Scott, you and I built this company
           so we wouldn't have to take an
           account like Riley Banks.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Well, you and I may not have a
           company if we don't take Riley
           Banks. Recession, remember?
                         
                          CELESTE
           She's like a...soul-less hologram.
                         
                          SCOTT
           She is releasing a new album. She
           wants us to do the branding and
           merchandising. We need to take this
           account.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ok. Fine. I'm gonna go eat lunch.
                         
          Celeste starts to heads out.
                         
                          SCOTT
           If you are looking for my opinion,
           I do think you should start dating.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't do dating. The right guy
           will show up. And I'm still on
           track for my 25 year plan.
                         
                          SCOTT
           No one has a 25 year plan. Except
           for my mortgage company.
                         
                          CELESTE
           First child at 33. Second at 35.
           Which means I will only be 56 at my
           eldest's college graduation. The
           bad news is that I may not be at my
           4th grandchild's high school
           graduation. But that's okay, I
           guess.
                         
                          SCOTT
           I'm fascinated with the mentally
           ill.
           17.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           I've got time. I'm not worried.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Well, do me a favor and get your
           fuck on before you meet the next
           guy.
                         
           Celeste looks at Scott in shock.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What are you doing?
                         
                          SCOTT
           Sorry, I was trying to be your
           saucy gay friend. It didn't feel
           good.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah don't.
                         
                         
          13 EXT. YOGA YURT-AFTERNOON 13
                         
           Jesse and SKILLZ, 32, another man-boy, in hip-hop gear, wait
           in a very, very long line of very, very hip people at LA's
           trendiest new yogurt place.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           The economic climate is real bad,
           man. And I think my business is
           taking the hardest hit of all. It's
           brutal. And no one's talking about
           it.
                         
                          JESSE
           You sell pot.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Not for long, dude. Have you been
           to those weed pharmacies? They're
           killing me. I gotta branch out.
           Maybe start working in
           methamphetamines? Or maybe teach
           pre-school. I always wanted to do
           that. I love kids.
                         
           Skillz is distracted by something.
                         
           SKILLZ (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Sorry, I know this is serious talky
           time but would you look at the
           fucking seat on that girl?
           18.
                         
                         
          We see a girl's apple bottom butt stuffed into blue jeans.
                         
           SKILLZ (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           THAT is a party.
                         
          Jesse does not laugh. He looks like he is in pain.
                         
                          JESSE
           I don't think it's over.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           What? Her butt? No, it will never
           be over. It goes on forever. It's
           like space. So great.
                         
                          JESSE
           No, Celeste and I. I think she's
           just confused and overwhelmed right
           now about everything. But she'll
           come around. She always does.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Uh oh. It's been a while now. I
           think it's over, bro. It may be
           time to accept that and move on.
           Call that dime Veronica.
                         
          Jesse looks uncomfortable.
                         
                          JESSE
           That was a one time thing, a couple
           months after Celeste and I broke
           up. Celeste does not know about
           that. And we will keep it that
           way.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Didn't know that was a hit and run.
           Sounded like you liked her.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, she's not Celeste. It's
           always been Celeste. I'm not ready
           to give up.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Okay, but remember, you can't re-
           heat a souffle.
                         
                          JESSE
           Huh?
           19.
                         
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Also, there's Bettys everywhere.
           It's LA. Maybe it's good to remind
           Celeste that you can pull wool.
           Make her sweat a little bit.
                         
                          JESSE
           It definitely wouldn't hurt to...go
           out with somebody.
                         
           They reach the front of the line.
                         
                          YOGURT GIRL
           Do you know what you want?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, I want to not be a quitter. I
           don't want to start all over again.
           I want everything that I believed
           to have been true to be true. I
           also want a goji berry/green tea
           swirl with yogurt chips and Fruity
           Pebbles. Please.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           (to Yogurt Girl) Hey, you should go
           out on a date with my friend here.
                         
                          YOGURT GIRL
           Um, wait, where's your wife? You
           guys are here like everyday
           together.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well...we're separated.
                         
                          YOGURT GIRL
           Oh. Cool. I mean, bummer. But okay.
           I'll go.
                         
                         
          14 INT. LACMA-LATE AFTERNOON 14
                         
           Celeste and Beth wander amidst the modern art. They stop to
           take in a Cindy Sherman photo.
                         
                          BETH
           It's so...grotesque.
                         
                          CELESTE
           But kind of beautiful. In a
           grotesque way.
           20.
                         
                         
                          BETH
           Ugh, let's keep moving. Too many
           feelings.
                         
          Celeste and Beth wander to the wall and stare at a Damien
          Hirst collage.
                         
           BETH (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I need to say this and then I'll
           never bring it up again. I'm sorry
           I wigged on you guys the other
           night but I don't know what you're
           doing. I think it's stupid that
           you're not together. You are best
           friends and that's the hard part.
           Nothing else matters.
                         
          Celeste and Beth stand in silence. Then:
                         
                          CELESTE
           Beth, the reality is I love Jesse
           dearly but he doesn't have a
           checking account. Or dress shoes.
           The father of my children will have
           a car. But...Jesse will always be
           my best friend.
                         
                          BETH
           Okay fine. I've said my peace. It's
           your life. But I definitely don't
           think he should be living in your
           guest house. I think you're kind of
           breaking his heart. Slowly.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jesse is fine.
                         
                          BETH
           Can I show you something?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sure.
                         
          Beth suddenly pulls Celeste into a corner. With no art.
                         
                          BETH
           Okay. Look.
                         
          She points to her neck.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What am I looking at?
           21.
                         
                         
                          BETH
           It's a hair. On my NECK.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ewww. Will you get that thing
           lasered off, please? What the fuck?
                         
                          BETH
           I can't because it will pop up
           somewhere else where I can't keep
           my eye on it.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Are you serious? That's the
           craziest thing I've ever heard.
           It's not a turnip.
                         
                          BETH
           Trust me, I know my body. It's a
           cruel land mine.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay, well at least pluck it for
           Chrissake.
                         
                          BETH
           I should, at least before my
           wedding, right?
                         
                          CELESTE
           What is wrong with you?
                         
          Celeste grabs the hair and pulls it out.
                         
                          BETH
           (in pain) AHHHHHHHHHH!
                         
          A security guard heads for them.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sorry sir, my friend has a really
           strong emotional reaction to modern
           art.
                         
                          BETH
           That was fucking rude.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Had to be done.
           22.
                         
                         
          15 EXT. JESSE'S STUDIO-EARLY EVENING 15
                         
           The studio is beautifully, magically chaotic. There are
           large canvasses everywhere, paint rags, spray cans, common
           household items turned into sculptures (buttons, clothespin,
           hangers) and mobiles. Celeste walks in. Jesse is on a
           mattress on the floor, he's clearly been sitting there for a
           while. He is fist-deep in a huge bag of Cheetos and he's
           watching the 2008 Beijing Olympics on Tivo. He is watching a
           short feature about Olympian Matthias Steiner, a gold
           medalist in weight lifting.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey...you're not working? Are you
           watching the Olympics? Again? And
           crying? Again?
                         
           Jesse blows his nose.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah.
                         
                          CELESTE
           God, you really love that, don't
           you?
                         
                          JESSE
           Matthias' wife died in a car
           accident last year.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, three years ago now but...
                         
                          JESSE
           And he dedicated his gold medal to
           her. The human spirit
           is...unbreakable.
                         
           Jesse is choked up, can barely speak.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Uh huh. Hey, did you finish that
           artwork for the Pop Form website?
                         
                          JESSE
           Huh? Oh yeah, I'm almost done. I'm
           working on it. I think you'll
           really like it.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'll like it more when I have it
           because I needed it yesterday,
           so...
           23.
                         
                         
          Jesse turns off the television, takes a deep breath, wipes
          his eyes and recovers.
                         
                          JESSE
           Celeste, can you sit down for a
           minute? I have something really
           important to tell you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh. Okay. Does it have something to
           do with the work you owe me?
                         
          Celeste sits. Jesse sits next to her. Again, he has tears in
          his eyes.
                         
                          JESSE
           I don't know how to tell you this
           but...I have a date tonight. I'm
           gonna start dating. People.
                         
                          CELESTE
           A date? Really? That is so great.
                         
                          JESSE
           It is? You don't...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah! Don't cry. Good for you,
           Jess.
                         
                          JESSE
           That doesn't bother you? Wow, okay.
           Well, it's actually the Yogurt
           Girl. From Yoga Yurt?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Really? Yogurt Girl, huh. She's
           cute! But so young, right?
                         
                          JESSE
           Super young. Her body is all-time.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay, no need for that. But this is
           good! You gotta crawl before you
           walk. I mean she's definitely not
           gonna be wifey number two, right?
           Ha.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, it's just a date.
                         
          She hugs him in an unconsciously patronizing way.
           24.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Big move. I'm proud of you.
                         
          Jesse looks confused and slightly hurt.
                         
                          JESSE
           Thanks?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Can I get up now?
                         
                          JESSE
           Huh? Yeah, sure.
                         
          Celeste gets up and is immediately fixated by his hair.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Yeah, Skillz kinda made me do it
           and from the get go, she was way
           into...what are you looking at?
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, nothing. Are you gonna wear
           your hair like that?
                         
                          JESSE
           What? Oh. I don't know, is it
           weird?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Not weird, just different from how
           it looks best.
                         
          She walks over and starts messing with his hair as he
          continues.
                         
                          JESSE
           Anyway, this is what we're doing
           right? We're getting divorced and
           we're friends and we're also dating
           people? That's what we're doing?
                         
          She is satisfied with her work. She steps back.
                         
                          CELESTE
           There. Better. You'll be great. You
           don't even need to be great. Just
           be you. Take her somewhere nice.
                         
                          JESSE
           Okay mom.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Call me after?
           25.
                         
                         
          16 INT. HATFIELD'S RESTAURANT-NIGHT 16
                         
           Jesse is on a date with Yogurt girl. It's clear he's hasn't
           been doing a lot of talking.
                         
                          YOGURT GIRL
           So I was in school but then I
           dropped out because I really wanted
           to work in fashion but it's really
           hard to find a paid internship? So
           I went back to school and now I
           work at Yoga Yurt part time but I'm
           really looking to make money doing
           something I love? But I'm sure the
           universe is looking out for me and
           when the time is right, the right
           thing will come along, you know?
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          17 INT. CELESTE'S BEDROOM- NIGHT 17
                         
           Celeste is in bed on the computer. She hears noise from the
           outside. She listens more intently and hears Jesse... and a
           woman, giggling and talking loudly. Then, the studio door
           shuts. Is Yogurt Girl sleeping over? He wouldn't do that.
           Would he?
                         
                         
          18 EXT. CELESTE'S GARDEN- NEXT MORNING 18
                         
           Again, with the morning symphony. Celeste drinks coffee, eats
           breakfast, surfs the internet and flips through magazines.
           This time, she's also listening to a song from Riley Banks'
           new album. It's exactly what she thought it would be.
           Overproduced, auto-tuned and meaningless. She nods her head,
           "yeah, I get it." She turns it off.
                         
           Celeste can't stop herself from constantly looking over at
           the studio to see if Yogurt Girl is still in there. Finally,
           a sleeping Jesse stirs for a minute and changes position. He
           is alone. Phew.
                         
                         
          19 INT. BORDER'S BOOKS-LATER THAT DAY 19
                         
           Celeste, Beth, Tucker and Jesse browse as a foursome for
           books.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Where is it? They told me it would
           be in new releases...
           26.
                         
                         
          Celeste searches frantically for her book. She peeks around a
          corner at a very obscured aisle with a sign reading "More New
          Releases." Three copies of her book, "Shitegeist" appear in
          the very bottom row, barely visible. She is disappointed.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           That's what I call placement.
                         
          She grabs a copy of her book and briskly walks back to the
          front of the store.
                         
                          BETH
           Well you probably shouldn't steal
           it. Even if it is yours.
                         
          Celeste marches to the Oprah's Book Club table and swiftly
          replaces the center display book with her own.
                         
                          CELESTE
           There.
                         
                          BETH
           But you don't have the "O" on your
           cover, you can't do that!
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yes I can.
                         
          Jesse and Tucker arrive and see the book.
                         
                          JESSE
           There you guys are...you're on
           Oprah's Book List?? That's so
           great!
                         
          Something catches Celeste's eye.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Some people are browsing my book.
           Guys, come with me to eavesdrop ...
                         
          Celeste, Tucker and Beth head off. Then:
                         
           GIRL (V.O.)
           Jesse?
                         
          Jesse turns to see VERONICA, 26, stunning and European.
                         
                          JESSE
           Veronica?
                         
                          VERONICA
           Yeah, hey. How are you?
           27.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           Good, good. You look great.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Thanks, you too. How's your clothes
           pin collage going?
                         
                          JESSE
           Slowly, but it's going.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Well, don't give up. Your work is
           really unique. And beautiful. I
           hope that doesn't sound...
                         
                          JESSE
           No, that's means a lot, thank you.
                         
          They looks at each other for a beat.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I had so much fun...that night. I'm
           so sorry I didn't call you. My life
           is just...
                         
                          VERONICA
           I had a lot of fun too.
                         
          There is silence, as Beth, Celeste and Tucker arrive and
          stare at her. Who is this creature??
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh sorry, Veronica, this is Beth
           and Tucker and Celeste.
                         
          Veronica notices Celeste's name on the book.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Oh, this is your book? I read an
           excerpt online, it's really
           compelling.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow, thank you. That is so nice.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Well, nice to see you.
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh you too. Take care.
                         
          She turns and leaves.
           28.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           What is that?
                         
                          JESSE
           That was uh...Veronica.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Story?
                         
                          JESSE
           No story. Just this girl I met a
           while ago.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh. She's pretty.
                         
           Celeste changes focus again and turns to a Border's employee
           to loudly and unconvincingly act out "Interested Reader" for
           other shoppers to hear.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           EXCUSE ME SIR? WHERE CAN I FIND
           MORE COPIES OF THIS BOOK
           "SHITEGEIST" FOR MY FRIENDS? I
           HEARD IT IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!
                         
           He looks at her like she's crazy and keeps walking. And so do
           her friends.
                         
                         
          20 EXT. TROUBADOR THEATER-NIGHT 20
                         
           Jesse and Skillz are exiting a Bizmarkie concert, surrounded
           by older hip-hop fans and young hipsters who weren't alive
           when the Biz dropped his first album. They are trashed.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Oh baby youuuuuuuu, you got what I
           neeeeeed...
                         
                          JESSE
           And you say he's just a friend, and
           you say he's just a friend....
                         
                          JESSE SKILLZ
           Oh baby youuuuu.... Oh baby youuuuu....
                         
           Jesse's iPhone rings. A very flirty picture of Celeste comes
           up.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           No, no, no. Ignore for sure.
           29.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           Uh, I just need to...(picks up)
           Hey.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           (whispering) Nooooo!
                         
                          JESSE
           (talking to Celeste) Uh huh. Okay.
           Okay. No, I'm not busy. (hangs up)
           Uh, I'm gonna go home.
                         
                          SKILLS
           Come on, after the show it's the
           after party.
                         
                          JESSE
           There's an Ikea dresser that she
           needs me to "build."
                         
           Skillz takes this in. He is impressed.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Huh. Really, cowboy? Are you
           guys...
                         
                          JESSE
           I told you pal, I know what I'm
           know I'm doing. She just needed
           time.
                         
                         
                         
          21 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-NIGHT 21
                         
           Celeste is in a corner with a glass of wine and a HUGE bag of
           nuts and bolts. She had a fight with a dresser and the
           dresser won. Jesse uses his key and enters.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm in here! Fuck Sweden!
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh baby youuuuu....
                         
                          CELESTE
           It was definitely easier to build
           the Brooklyn Bridge, I think.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, how hard can it be? It's a
           dresser, right?
                         
           TIME CUT TO:
           30.
                         
                         
          22 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE- 30 MINUTES LATER 22
                         
           Jesse is drunker than before and sitting where Celeste was
           earlier. Crying, frustrated. He's covered in sawdust and nuts
           and bolts.
                         
                          JESSE
           Fuck me!!! Do you think they
           intentionally pick a random piece
           of furniture to make totally
           unbuildable, just to fuck with
           you??!
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thank you!
                         
                          JESSE
           Wait. I got it.
                         
           TIME CUT TO:
                         
                         
          23 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE- 30 MORE MINUTES LATER 23
                         
           We see Jesse and Celeste admire their "dresser" as they drink
           wine.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Perfect.
                         
                          JESSE
           Fucking lay-up.
                         
           We reveal that they are looking at a small, mangled, Swedish
           robot constructed from the nuts and bolts and wood panelling
           that should have been the dresser. They both slide to the
           floor in satisfaction. They look at their "artwork." They
           laugh; they are pretty drunk.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ruscha meets Basquiat...
                         
                          JESSE
           ...meets Serra meets Corky from
           "Life Goes On."
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah. He's a vegan, you know.
                         
                          JESSE
           Cherish. That is so cute.
                         
           They share a laugh.
           31.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           You're cute.
                         
           Celeste looks at him. She kisses him. He kisses back. It gets
           hotter. They fall back.
                         
                          FADE TO:
                         
                         
          24 INT. CELESTE'S BEDROOM - THE NEXT MORNING 24
                         
           Celeste and Jesse are in bed. Celeste is asleep. Jesse wakes
           up and gently kisses Celeste all over her face. This wakes
           her up. She is hungover and confused.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey. What are you doing?
                         
                          JESSE
           I love you.
                         
           Celeste does not respond. She pops up out of bed.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay...
                         
                          JESSE
           We should talk about this.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah. Whoa, we were drunk. What a
           bad idea. I'm sorry.
                         
                          JESSE
           Don't be sorry. It was nice. And I
           love you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh Jess, I don't...come on, we were
           drunk, and the dresser and I
           thought...you're dating other
           people!
                         
                          JESSE
           Only to...god, I'm so stupid.
                         
           He realizes how pathetic it sounds.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh no, I thought...
                         
                          JESSE
           You thought what?
           32.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, clearly I wasn't thinking. Or
           I wouldn't have let it happen. Come
           on Jess, we're not getting back
           together, you didn't think...
                         
           Celeste realizes he did think...Jesse is crushed. He gets up
           and leaves. He turns.
                         
                          JESSE
           You know, there's a guy that you
           can call, from Ikea, that will
           build you're dresser. You should
           call him. Hell, he'll probably fuck
           you too. I'm a fucking idiot.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jess! No, I didn't..Jess!
                         
           Celeste collapses back in the bed.
                         
                         
          25 INT. EQUINOX GYM-MORNING 25
                         
           A bunch of Los Angeles hipsters file out of a yoga class.
           Everyone is sweaty and a little out of it. Celeste heads out
           as she towels off. She heads towards the shoe cubby holes.
                         
                          PAUL
           Hello.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What?
                         
                          PAUL
           I said hello.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh. Hi.
                         
           Celeste keeps walking briskly. PAUL, 35, short but handsome,
           tries to keep up with her.
                         
                          PAUL
           (a little too loud) How was your
           practice?
                         
                          CELESTE
           My practice?? It was...wait,
           what?...it was fine. (who is this
           guy?)
           33.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           I see you in class a lot. You have
           a great warrior two. Are you
           single?
                         
          Celeste puts on her shoes.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Are you really doing this right
           now? You're really doing this right
           now.
                         
          Paul realizes that his game is wack. Oh well.
                         
                          PAUL
           Yeah, I can't believe it either. I
           don't do this, it's just happening,
           I can't stop...it...what do you do?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Just gonna jump right in there.
           Wow, Captain Conversation.
                         
                          PAUL
           Paul. Here's my card.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You bring cards to yoga??
                         
                          PAUL
           Look, you're really pretty. I'm not
           good at this. Help.
                         
          He smiles nervously.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (she looks at the card.) A
           financial analyst. Cool.
                         
                          PAUL
           Not really. It's not cool. Did
           you ever tell me what you did for a
           living?
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, no I didn't.
                         
          There is a pause in conversation. Celeste continues to put
          her shoes on.
                         
                          PAUL
           Well, will you? I'd love to know.
           34.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm a trend forecaster. I forecast
           trends.
                         
           Paul scoffs at the notion that this is a real career.
                         
                          PAUL
           Trend forecaster. Really? Huh.
                         
           They have reached the parking lot. Celeste turns to him with
           purpose.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You traded in your Porsche for an
           Audi because the economy is tanking
           and you're afraid you'll lose your
           job soon. You bought a Samsung cell
           phone because you think it makes
           you seem more "business-oriented,"
           unlike the iPhone which is for
           teenage girls. You go to yoga
           because you went to a sub Ivy
           League college, spent the last ten
           years working long weeks and
           drinking all weekend and you feel
           like it's time to do something
           "spiritual." Nice to meet you,
           (looks at the card) Paul.
                         
           Celeste walks away. Paul remains where he is, flummoxed.
                         
                         
          26 EXT. CELESTE'S GARDEN-LATER 26
                         
           Celeste enters through her side gate. She has some Chinese
           takeout in her hand. She heads for the studio. She sees that
           Jesse is not there. Neither is any of his shit. It's
           completely empty and sterile now. He's gone.
                         
                         
          27 EXT. TAXI-LATER THAT NIGHT 27
                         
           Celeste is about to go on the road for work. She is on the
           phone.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, just make sure the San Fran
           focus group has a little more
           diversity than last time. It was
           like a rave. Without drugs. Okay.
                         
           She hangs up and pauses. Then dials again.
           35.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hey, Jess, it's me. I'm getting on
           a plane but I'd really like to talk
           to you. I don't know what happened
           last night. Hope you're okay. Call
           me.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          28 INT. BOSTON FOUR SEASONS HOTEL LOBBY RESTAURANT-DAY 28
                         
           We see Celeste having lunch with a group of eight teenagers.
           She asks questions, they share laughs, she engages with them.
           She is good at this. She excuses herself to make a phone
           call.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          29 INT. SAN FRANCISCO W HOTEL ROOM-NIGHT 29
                         
           Celeste watches CNN alone. She dials Jesse. It rings.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          30 INT. DOWNTOWN L.A. DINER-LATE AFTERNOON 30
                         
           Jesse is mid-laugh and looks at his phone to see Celeste is
           calling. He presses "Ignore." We see that he is sitting with
           a women. We reveal that it is: Veronica.
                         
                          VERONICA
           I'm glad you called.
                         
           Jesse smiles big.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          31 INT. SAN FRANCISCO W HOTEL ROOM-NIGHT 31
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey. It's me. Again. I miss you.
           Anyway, call me. Okay. Bye.
                         
           She hangs up, takes a breath and then, to herself:
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I love you. I'm so sorry. I've
           always loved you.
                         
           She chuckles.
           36.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Of course. Stupid.
                         
                         
          32 EXT. STREET - WEST HOLLYWOOD-DAY 32
                         
           Jesse is walking.
                         
                          JESSE
           (on the phone) Hey. You're back. I
           want to talk to you.
                         
                         
          33 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-SUNDOWN 33
                         
           Celeste is in her home office, working on the Riley account.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, I want to talk to you too.
           Where have you been?? It's been
           like two weeks. So much to lay
           down...like, did you know that pay-
           per-view porn is available in
           Cantonese?
                         
                         
          34 EXT. STREET-WEST HOLLYWOOD-SUNDOWN 34
                         
                          JESSE
           Really? Like subtitles or dubbed?
           Wait, actually, I'm really close to
           your house right now. Can I come
           by for a minute? It's....important.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          35 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-NIGHT 35
                         
           Celeste puts away groceries.
                         
                          JESSE
           Okay. I have to tell you something.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Me too. Wait, you first. Are you
           gay?
                         
                          JESSE
           No, not gay.
                         
           He takes a really deep breath.
           37.
                         
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Um, you're not gonna believe this
           but...
                         
                          CELESTE
           (playfully) Oh no, did you go on
           another date?
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm having a baby.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't understand.
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm having a baby.
                         
          Celeste is still busy, putting away groceries. She is half-
          listening.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What do you mean?
                         
                          JESSE
           I am having a baby.
                         
          Celeste opens the pantry and puts away cereal.
                         
                          CELESTE
           With another person?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yes. With another person.
                         
          Celeste takes out cold cuts from the bag and opens the
          fridge.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Um. What? Sorry, I'm confused.
           Wait, what? What the fuck? With
           whom?
                         
                          JESSE
           With Veronica.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Veronica?? What's a Veronica?
                         
                          JESSE
           You actually met her. That day at
           the book store.
           38.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh. But that's not even
           physically possible, that was two
           weeks ago.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, the truth is, I slept with
           Veronica three months ago. It was
           just a one night thing. But she's
           pregnant.
                         
          Celeste rearranges the fruit bowl.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Whoa. Okay. Shit. Didn't know about
           that. But that's not important
           right now. This is not good.
           Alright. Okay. You and I are gonna
           deal with this. We will, we'll just
           have to. What do you need me to do?
                         
                          JESSE
           No, you don't have to do anything.
                         
                          CELESTE
           But you don't even know this
           person, right?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah I know her. I mean, I'm
           getting to know her. And I really
           want to make it work with her.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Make it work?? You slept with her
           once! What are you talking about?
                         
                          JESSE
           I've actually been seeing her,
           well, a lot, recently. And I think
           I really like her.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So what you're saying is you got a
           girl pregnant and now you think you
           like her because she's pregnant?
           Or...I'm really confused.
                         
                          JESSE
           The universe is fucking weird,
           Celeste. I slept with her months
           ago and never called her after.
                          (MORE)
           39.
                         
                          JESSE (CONTD)
           But we started hanging recently and
           she told me she was pregnant with
           my child. I know it's crazy, but
           it just feels...right. It was like
           this really weird retroactive gift.
           I don't know...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Can you excuse me for a second?
                         
           Celeste gets up and walks slowly to the bathroom. She gently
           shuts the door. She looks around, not knowing what to do with
           herself. She focuses on a crack in the wall, she looks closer
           and then grabs the wall, thinking she might faint. She
           silently begins to sob, mouth open, eyes shut tight. She
           collapses on the wall. She is in silent turmoil. Is this
           really happening?
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          36 INT. CELESTE'S LIVING ROOM- A MOMENT LATER 36
                         
           Jesse is sitting, waiting. He checks his cell phone. He hears
           the toilet flush. A moment goes by. Celeste re-enters,
           having pulled it together. But her face is still wet with
           tears.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sorry about that. I had something
           in my eye.
                         
                          JESSE
           Right. Look, I know this is so
           sudden. And so weird. I've been
           holding on to us, this idea of us,
           for so long. And I know you've
           wanted me to let go. So I'm sorry.
           You were right, we're friends. We
           will always be friends. And I need
           that now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Of course.
                         
                          JESSE
           Thank you. Love you.
                         
           Jesse gives Celeste a big, long hug.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Wait, you had something to tell me
           too. Sorry...
           40.
                         
                         
           Celeste takes a beat.
                         
                          CELESTE
           It was nothing.
                         
           She forces a smile.
                         
                         
          37 INT. CELESTE'S OFFICE-DAY 37
                         
           Celeste is on the computer. She drinks coffee. Scott peeks
           in.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Hello?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey.
                         
           Celeste lets out a guffaw.
                         
                          SCOTT
           What are you doing?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm just following Diddy Twitty.
                         
                          SCOTT
           I don't...know what that means.
                         
                          CELESTE
           It's Sean Comb's Twitter page.
           There's also a singing competition
           on television. It's called American
           Idol? Keep up.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Okay saucy. You don't have to be so
           saucy.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, just part of our job,
           so...ready for breaking news? Jesse
           is having a baby with some girl.
           Crazy.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Whoa. Wow. Did you even know he was
           seeing someone?
                         
                          CELESTE
           It's this girl he slept with once a
           couple of months ago.
                          (MORE)
           41.
                         
                          CELESTE (CONTD)
           And now he's "making it work" with
           her. Plane crash.
                         
                          SCOTT
           I don't know what to say. I am so
           sorry, Celeste.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No need, Scott, I'm totally fine.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Are you?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Look, I wasn't going to have his
           baby. So, good for him.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Well, it's great that you're so
           resolved about this but it's also
           okay for you to have feelings. It's
           very sudden.
                         
          Celeste pauses to consider this.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right. Well, let me see...mmmm,
           nope, I'm fine. I promise. Not in
           love with him anymore. It kind of
           makes it easier.
                         
          Scott is not convinced. Celeste is still distracted by the
          computer.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Oh my god, Diddy's snowboarding for
           the first time in Mammoth! Amazing.
           I actually have a date tonight.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Um...that's great. Who's the guy?
                         
                          CELESTE
           The yahoo who did Pop Form's taxes
           last quarter. He's been asking me
           out forever. Not the one, but it'll
           be nice to be admired.
                         
                          SCOTT
           I agree, go be admired. Who knows,
           you may actually even simulate
           human emotion.
           42.
                         
                         
          38 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-EARLY EVENING 38
                         
           Celeste, in workout clothes, is cleaning up her house
           maniacally. She is walking past her office. The Ikea robot
           she built with Jesse catches her attention for a moment. She
           keeps walking.
                         
                         
          39 INT. MADEO'S RESTAURANT-NIGHT 39
                         
           Celeste and MAX, 38, handsome and clean cut, are sitting at
           dinner. They have just ordered.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thank you.
                         
           She hands the menu back to the waiter.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           My foot actually pronates. And my
           I.T. band is strained when I run,
           which really hurts. So Dr. Ozar
           recommended a foot specialist who
           made these customized orthotics for
           me and it's amazing how much better
           I feel.
                         
                          MAX
           Well, actually I...
                         
           Suddenly, Celeste catches a glimpse of Jesse, sitting at the
           bar, by himself, watching tv. She is not prepared for this.
                         
                          CELESTE
           OH MY GOD. My ex is here. Oh god,
           oh no, we just made eye contact.
           Maybe he didn't see me. Wait, he
           did. He's coming over. Oh god,
           this is so awkward.(to Max) You
           should probably leave.
                         
                          MAX
           Wait, what? I don't think...really?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, just go.
                         
           Jesse is at the table.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Too late. Here he is, heyyyy.
                         
                          JESSE
           I just wanted to say hi. I'm Jesse.
           43.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, this is Matt.
                         
                          MAX
           Max.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Mack.
                         
                          MAX
           Max.
                         
                          JESSE
           Nice to meet you, Max.
                         
                          CELESTE
           We're just here. Just eating. It's
           a date. I'm dating.
                         
                          JESSE
           Cool. The puttanesca special is the
           thing to get.
                         
                          MAX
           Good to know. I ordered that.
                         
          A moment of awkward silences passes.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Who are you here with?
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh, just here alone. Watching the
           Lakers.
                         
                          MAX
           Kobe-LeBron tonight, right?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yes. Epic.
                         
                          MAX
           So psyched I tivo'ed it.
                         
                          JESSE
           Nice to meet you, man. Good to see
           you, C.
                         
                          MAX CELESTE
          You too. You too.
                         
                          MAX
           He's cool.
           44.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Uh huh.
                         
           Celeste immediately scarfs down her salad which has just
           arrived. She's quiet.
                         
                          MAX
           How was that? Are you okay?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm fine!
                         
           Celeste stares at Jesse at the bar.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           He always loved the meatballs here.
                         
                          MAX
           What?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Nothing. Do you like bread?
                         
                          MAX
           Bread? Um, yeah, I like bread.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Cool, cool.
                         
           Silence, once again.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          40 EXT. MADEO'S RESTAURANT-NIGHT 40
                         
           Celeste and Max wait for their cars at the valet stand. Max's
           car arrives. He pays the valet.
                         
                          CELESTE
           This was great! I'm free next
           Wednesday? Sushi?
                         
                          MAX
           Um, I don't think we should.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, because of mercury poisoning? I
           think that's a myth. I go to this
           acupuncturist that...
           45.
                         
                         
                          MAX
           No, I think you may need some time.
           To get over, you know, your
           divorce. It took me a long time to
           start dating after mine.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thank you for your concern but I'm
           just fine. I guess you're just not
           a match for me.
                         
                          MAX
           Well, have a good night. Good luck.
                         
           Max gets in his car and is gone. Celeste stands there,
           confused and alone. She shakes him off.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (sotto) Whatever.
                         
                         
          41 EXT. LA CIENEGA BLVD. 41
                         
           Celeste is running...hard. It is a cacophony of street sounds
           around her: traffic, honking, speeding, Celeste listens to
           the Dirty Projectors "Stillness is the Move" on her iPod and
           joyfully runs across the street.
                         
                         
          42 EXT. H.D. BUTTERCUP- CULVER CITY-A COUPLE WEEKS LATER 42
                         
           Celeste arrives to meet Beth. She is in full marathon gear.
           She waves at Beth and enters, panting.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hi honey!
                         
                          BETH
           Hi, wow, you are really out of
           breath. Did you fucking run here??
           From West Hollywood??
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah I ran. Just started. It's
           really fun.
                         
                          BETH
           You're soaking wet. Isn't that like
           12 miles??
                         
                          CELESTE
           13.5 actually. I was just clearing
           my head, you know, keeping the
           endorphins up.
           46.
                         
                         
           Celeste pants like she's about to collapse. She doubles over
           with her hands on her knees. She's in pain.
                         
                          BETH
           Do you...want to sit down?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, okay! Wow, is this it? It's so
           nice.
                         
           Celeste flops on the couch full prostrate. A saleswoman
           approaches.
                         
                          SALESWOMAN
           I'm so sorry but that's a one-of-a-
           kind piece that was handwoven by a
           tribe of Afghani women. So if you
           could maybe just sit over there?
                         
           The saleswoman points to a metal industrial, uncomfortable
           looking chair.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right. Sorry. Totally.
                         
                          BETH
           Wow, you are a sweat tsunami.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You should get it. It's really
           pretty.
                         
           Celeste gets up and there is an outline of Celeste's entire
           body in sunblock and sweat. They look at the wreckage.
                         
                          BETH
           Uh boy.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Don't worry. I know people who can
           get that out. Easily.
                         
                          BETH
           Okay. I guess I'm getting it.
                         
                         
          43 INT. H.D. BUTTERCUP-SALES COUNTER-DAY 43
                         
           The saleswoman is ringing Beth up for the couch. It is
           basically ruined.
                         
                          CELESTE
           The Riley account is a handful.
           I've been sooooo swamped.
           47.
                         
                         
                          BETH
           It's great you're staying busy...
                         
                          CELESTE
           (about the couch) If it doesn't
           come out, I can have it
           reupholstered.
                         
                          BETH
           Thanks. How's dating?
                         
                          SALESWOMAN
           Sorry, can I get your card?
                         
                          BETH
           Here you go.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Great. Dating's really great.
                         
                          BETH
           Have you talked to Jesse?
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, but I actually ran into him
           last night. I think he's getting a
           little fat.
                         
                          BETH
           I think he's been looking pretty
           fit lately. (to the saleswoman) Can
           I get a rush delivery on that?
                         
                          CELESTE
           So you've seen Jesse?
                         
                          BETH
           ...Yeah, I have.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh. Have you hung out with...
                         
                          BETH
           Veronica?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah.
                         
                          BETH
           Yes. I have.
                         
          Silence.
           48.
                         
                         
                          SALESWOMAN
           So, my first available delivery is
           Monday afternoon. Does that work
           for you?
                         
                          BETH
           Yeah, that's fine. If you can you
           just call my cell...
                         
                          CELESTE
           She's dumb, right?
                         
                          BETH
           Huh? Oh no, not dumb. Simple.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Simple means dumb.
                         
                          BETH
           No, actually, simple in a really
           elegant way.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Elegant??
                         
          The saleswoman senses awkwardness.
                         
                          SALESWOMAN
           Okay, so you're all set then.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Elegant??
                         
                          BETH
           Thanks a lot. (to Celeste)
                         
          They head for the exit.
                         
           BETH (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I thought you would be happy for
           him.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I am, I just didn't realize that
           Monica was "elegant."
                         
                          BETH
           Veronica. And you know what? You
           would probably really like her.
                         
          Beth studies Celeste for a moment.
           49.
                         
                         
           BETH (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           You're not having regrets about
           Jesse?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Not one.
                         
                          BETH
           Please let me drive you home. I'm
           afraid you'll drown.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sure. I have a date tonight so I
           should probably shower before then.
                         
           Beth looks at a sopping Celeste.
                         
                          BETH
           Yes. Shower. Who's the date?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Rupert Bates.
                         
                          BETH
           Rupert Bates? The Gap model?? Oh my
           god, he's so hot but he's like 15.
                         
                          CELESTE
           22. Skillz set me up. He's about
           to be a huge star. He's filming
           "20,000 B.C.?" It's the prequel to
           "10,000 B.C."
                         
                          BETH
           Fuck, I LOVED that movie.
                         
                          SALESWOMAN
           I loved that movie too! It really
           spoke to me.
                         
                         
                         
          44 INT. MULLHOLLAND DRIVE MODERN HOUSE-NEXT NIGHT 44
                         
           RUPERT BATES, 22, very handsome, British, wearing a leather
           jacket, sporting tousled actor hair is playing a hideously
           earnest original song on the guitar. He sings with passion.
           He looks up at Celeste and winks.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
           Celeste,on the couch, looking slightly mortified. She smiles
           tepidly at him.
           50.
                         
                         
           Rupert finishes the song, closes his eyes and hangs his head.
           A beat of silence. Celeste musters up a short and slow round
           of applause.
                         
                          CELESTE
           That was so...good.
                         
                          RUPERT
           I wrote that for my mum.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Lucky lady. So how do you know
           Skillz?
                         
                          RUPERT
           He provides me with the happy smoky
           green treats.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (sotto) Ew.
                         
           Celeste cringes. What a dork. Rupert slides next to Celeste
           and is all of a sudden right in her face. He touches her
           hair. He kisses her, deeply. He pulls away and takes her in.
                         
                          RUPERT
           Hello, Special One.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh...hi. Oh god. (whispers) Oh no,
           no, no I gotta go.
                         
                         
          45 INT. POP FORM OFFICES-NEXT DAY-AFTERNOON 45
                         
           People file out of the conference room. Celeste walks down
           the hall quickly to the bathroom.
                         
                         
          46 INT. POP FORM BATHROOM 46
                         
           Celeste enters a stall. Then, she hears two girls enter the
           bathroom. RILEY, 19 and SAVANNAH, 22, are chatting and
           primping. Celeste goes quiet and listens.
                         
                          RILEY
           Ugh. My hair is so dry. It looks
           like straw.
                         
           Savannah quickly pops a pill. Then offers one to Riley.
                         
                          SAVANNAH
           Here. Do you want an Adderall?
           51.
                         
                         
                          RILEY
           No, that shit makes me feel like a
           robot. Speaking of robot, who the
           hell designed this place? It's
           like Spock and his eyebrows are
           about to walk around the corner.
                         
          Celeste takes this opportunity to flush and come out of the
          stall.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hi Riley, I'm Celeste, I'm a
           partner at Pop Form.
                         
                          RILEY
           Hey. Wow, you're pretty.
                         
          Riley looks closer at her skin and picks at it.
                         
           RILEY (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Why am I breaking out?
                         
                          SAVANNAH
           Too much sugar? Coffee? Alcohol?
                         
                          RILEY
           Ugh, maybe it's my skin regime.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Um...it's actually regimen?
                         
                          RILEY
           Sorry?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Regime is a system of government.
           It's a "skin regimen."
                         
          Riley and Savannah glare at Celeste.
                         
                          RILEY
           Thanks, Scrabble. Nice to meet you.
                         
          They leave.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Charming.
                         
                          CUT TO:
           52.
                         
                         
          47 INT. POP FORM CONFERENCE ROOM-AN HOUR LATER 47
                         
           The Riley Banks branding strategy meeting is under way.
           Slides are being shown, Scott is giving a presentation on
           design ideas. Celeste is distracted and on her Blackberry.
           We see an INSERT of Celeste's Blackberry on Dictionary.com,
           looking up "regime: a mode or system of rule or government."
                         
                          SCOTT
           Celeste has some ideas for the logo
           which are looking really great.
                         
           He looks to Celeste who is not paying attention. She is busy
           learning that she was right and Riley was wrong. Celeste
           looks up and shoots a patronizing smile at Riley. Riley
           catches her and looks away uncomfortably.
                         
           SCOTT (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Celeste? Do you wanna...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right. Yes. Sorry. So we are going
           for an industrial feel with the
           artwork...
                         
                         
          48 INT. CELESTE'S OFFICE-AN HOUR LATER 48
                         
           Scott enters.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Hello, Special One.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Uh, you got my IM.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Sounds so awful.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Where are the guys who don't wear
           makeup for a living? And maybe a
           little intellect? A little
           intellect wouldn't hurt anybody.
                         
           Scott has an idea.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Wait, wait. You've never met Nick,
           right? Nick Moran?
                         
                          CELESTE
           The photographer? You know him?
           53.
                         
                         
                          SCOTT
           Yeah, we went to school together.
           This could be perfect.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (she sings, like she's in a
           musical) I'm uncomfortable with
           daaaaaating. I don't like any of
           iiiiiit.
                         
                          SCOTT
           (he sings back) Trust meeeee. You
           will liiiiike hiiiim. Also, I love
           cooo-ooock.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You really got to try a little
           harder to integrate the gayness,
           Scott.
                         
                         
          49 EXT. CHATEAU MARMONT BALCONY- NIGHT 49
                         
           Celeste sits on the balcony with Nick Moran. He has Indy
           rocker hair and a Los Feliz beard. He's hip and smart in an
           effortless way. Celeste is feeling him. They drink wine and
           laugh.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So you pissed in your pants?
                         
                          NICK
           I waited seven hours. Three of them
           soaking in my own pee. But I
           finally got the shot of
           Ahmadinejad.
                         
           He hands her a photograph.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow. That is incredible. I think
           he's smiling, maybe.
                         
                          NICK
           He is. I think the piss stain
           running down my jeans made him
           laugh.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, the world will think you're
           brilliant. No one will ever know
           but me.
           54.
                         
                         
                          NICK
           I was nominated for a Pulitzer. I
           didn't win.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, the guy who won shit his
           pants, so...
                         
           They laugh. They are connecting.
                         
                          NICK
           (looking at his watch) Oh my god,
           we missed our reservation. It was
           at 8:30. Should I call down and see
           if they can still take us?
                         
                          CELESTE
           How about room service?
                         
                          NICK
           Perfect.
                         
                         
          50 INT. CHATEAU MARMONT-LIVING ROOM- LATER 50
                         
           Nick and Celeste are kissing. It's passionate but tender.
           They stop and their foreheads rest against each other's and
           they take a deep breath. They speak in hushed tones.
                         
                          CELESTE
           That was really, really nice.
                         
                          NICK
           Um, yeah. So, what are you doing
           for the rest of your life?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Making out with you.
                         
           They start to kiss again.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I don't remember it ever feeling
           like this.
                         
           They continue to kiss. Celeste notices that she and the couch
           are vibrating. She looks down. Oh no. Nick is masturbating.
           Can he really be masturbating?
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           (whisper)What are you doing?
           55.
                         
                         
                          NICK
           (whisper)What do you think
           I'm doing?
                         
                          CELESTE
           (whisper) Why are you doing that?
           Don't do that..It was going so
           well.
                         
                          NICK
           Shhhhh.
                         
           Celeste pulls away slowly, shaking her head, "no." Nick keeps
           going. Eyes closed.
                         
           NICK (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Watch me. I'm almost there.
                         
           Celeste cannot believe what she is watching.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Almost where?? No!
                         
           Celeste quickly grabs her stuff and gets the hell out of
           dodge.
                         
                          NICK
           Ah, ah, ahhhhhhhhh!
                         
           Nick recovers from his climax and looks around to realize
           she's gone.
                         
           NICK (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Celeste?
                         
                         
          51 EXT. SANTA MONICA BEACH-NEXT MORNING 51
                         
           Celeste runs really hard, listening to her Sunny Levine's
           "Glass Jaw" on her iPhone. She stops suddenly. She sees
           Jesse's number, she hits "Ignore." She starts running again
           with purpose.
                         
                         
          52 EXT. ELYSIAN WAY ECHO PARK- NEXT DAY 52
                         
           Celeste drives and listen to her phone on bluetooth.
                         
           JESSE V.O.
           Hey, so, I'm glad you can meet up.
           4pm is good. There's this little
           place by me, Vegan Vittles on
           Elysian Way, kinda hard to find,
           call me if you get lost.
           56.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Vegan Vittles.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          53 INT. VEGAN VITTLES-MINUTES LATER 53
                         
           Celeste enters and sees Jesse sitting at a table in a small,
           folksy restaurant. Celeste is on the phone. She waves at
           Jesse and gestures "one second."
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, I don't want to do a video
           chat. Yeah. Just tell her she needs
           to get to L.A. tomorrow. Okay. (she
           hangs up, now on the Blackberry)
           Sorry, one second, I just have to
           send this e-mail.
                         
           Jesse sits there and wait for several seconds for her to
           finish her e-mail.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           There. Hi.
                         
                          JESSE
           Hi. What's up?
                         
                          CELESTE
           A lot. (to waitress) Can I get some
           coffee?
                         
                          WAITRESS
           We have yerba matte?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Um, green tea?
                         
                          WAITRESS
           We have decaf green tea.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Water's fine.
                         
                          WAITRESS
           K. Anything for you?
                         
                          JESSE
           I'll get the veganchilada with the
           cashew cheese sauce on the side. Oh
           can I look at the seaweed menu?
                         
           She hands him a tiny piece of recycled paper.
           57.
                         
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Oh. Awesome. You do have the Baltic
           kelp today. I'll get that. Thanks.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow.
                         
                          JESSE
           How are you? You look great.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thanks.
                         
          She notices his feet.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Are you wearing...dress shoes?
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh yeah, they're vegan.
                         
          Celeste could throw up.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You look good too.
                         
                          JESSE
           A lot of pilates.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh, I didn't know you did pilates.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, well, Veronica's a dancer and
           has equipment at our house, so...
                         
          There is an uncomfortable beat.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           How's work?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Um...work is great.
                         
                          JESSE
           Good.
                         
                          CELESTE
           My book is getting great reviews.
           Riley Banks is a new client which
           is huge. Things are going really
           well.
           58.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           Great.
                         
          Long silence.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Listen, I know this has all been
           pretty weird.
                         
                          CELESTE
           It's only weird if you think it's
           weird.
                         
                          JESSE
           Celeste, I never wanted to hurt
           you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thank you. You didn't. Glad we
           cleared that up.
                         
                          JESSE
           Look, I actually wanted to see you
           because...apparently there's some
           kind of hold up on your side with
           the divorce papers and Veronica's
           actually not a citizen so..
                         
                          CELESTE
           What? Where's she from?
                         
                          JESSE
           Uh, Belgium.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (sotto) Huh. Belgium. Elegant.
                         
                          JESSE
           What?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Nothing.
                         
                          JESSE
           Point is, we need to...get married.
           I'm sorry. I really need you to
           sign those papers.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, Jesse, I've been busy with
           work. Because some people work for
           a living. So I haven't really been
           focused on what I can do to help
           you get on with your new life.
           59.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm sorry. I know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What makes you think you are even
           suitable to be a dad?? You don't
           even know how to read the electric
           bill. How are you going to support
           yourself? Have you even thought
           this through?
                         
                          JESSE
           I guess I'll have to figure it out.
           Veronica is really supportive of my
           work.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Really? Really Jesse? I paid the
           rent for ten years. If that's not
           supportive, I don't know what is.
                         
                          JESSE
           That's true. And thank you.
                         
          There is a long pause.
                         
                          CELESTE
           We never even talked about kids.
                         
                          JESSE
           You had reservations about having
           kids.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I had reservations about having
           kids with YOU.
                         
                          JESSE
           Well, ditto. I think Veronica will
           be a really good mother.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Low blow.
                         
          Celeste gets up from the table. She collects her things.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I'll sign the fucking papers. I
           don't have time for this. You're
           ridiculous, this place is
           ridiculous. Fucking vegan kelp
           cashew bullshit. What the fuck is
           this place anyway.
                          (MORE)
           60.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           (she addresses the restaurant) Do
           any of you have jobs?? Anyone? What
           do you do? Wait, let me guess. You
           grow pot.
                         
           Celeste looks at an innocent bespectacled patron.
                         
                          RESTAURANT GUY
           Um, yeah. I do.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Exactly. Get a real job.
                         
           Celeste exits.
                         
                         
          54 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE HALLWAY-NIGHT 54
                         
           Celeste is in her robe about to get in the bath. She walks to
           the kitchen to grab a tea and walks by her office. The Ikea
           Robot catches her eye. She stops and enters the office.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          55 INT. CELESTE'S OFFICE-A MOMENT LATER 55
                         
           Celeste stares at the robot. It stares back. She hates it.
           She kicks it. That hurt. She violently, with all her might,
           rips its head off. That felt good. She picks it up and starts
           to thrash the robot torso all over the room as, slowly,
           pieces of wood flail in every direction. She's angry and out
           of control. She stops to catch her breath and sees what she
           has just done. She falls to the ground in tears.
                         
                         
          56 EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS HOME-NIGHT 56
                         
           Celeste and Beth enter and survey the scene. Beth is dressed
           like a little boy with a short brown wig, sunglasses and
           sneakers. Celeste is in a white trash bag with a belt.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jesse's a fucking vegan??
                         
                          BETH
           A vegan who's soon to have his work
           shown. At the Gagosian.
                         
                          CELESTE
           The Gagosian?? You're kidding.
           What, the fucking clothespin thing?
           When??
                          (MORE)
           61.
                         
                          CELESTE (CONTD)
           Don't tell me actually...how did
           anybody even know about his art, he
           doesn't...I don't actually want to
           know...god, he's on fire right now.
           Breaking up with me was the best
           thing that ever happened to Jesse.
           I should break up with me.
                         
                          BETH
           Now, now. Someone else's success
           is not your demise, C.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Shut up. Unless it's Jesse's. Who
           are dressed as again?
                         
                          BETH
           Beiber.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ooh, he just got a buzzcut.
                         
                          BETH
           Really? Fuck. When??
                         
                          CELESTE
           A couple hours ago. It was on
           Perez.
                         
                          BETH
           That's so sad. His hair was
           everything.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I need to fucking drink.
                         
          Two large dudes, one dressed as Peter Pan, the other as Snow
          White walk by.
                         
                          PETER PAN
           We're doing Car Bombs in the
           kitchen. Wanna come?
                         
                          BETH
           Noooo.
                         
                          CELESTE
           YES.
                         
                          CUT TO:
           62.
                         
                         
          57 INT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS HOME KITCHEN-NIGHT 57
                         
           Celeste is drilling Car Bombs with 5 guys. She's keeping
           pace.
                         
                          SNOW WHITE
           What are you?
                         
                          CELESTE
           What? Oh, White trash.
                         
           Snow White is silent. Celeste points to her trash bag.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           White trash?
                         
                          SNOW WHITE
           (doesn't get it) Huh.
                         
           Paul (from yoga) enters to grab some ice from the freezer. He
           is wearing a black shirt covered in mini cereal boxes with
           plastic knives through them. Celeste is mid-Car Bomb and
           wasted.
                         
                          PAUL
           Celeste?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yoga?
                         
                          PAUL
           Yeah, I haven't seen you there for
           a while.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I've been running a lot. Keeps you
           in better shape.
                         
                          PAUL
           I can see that's important to you.
           (referring to the Car Bomb in her
                          FACE)
                         
           Celeste is now drunk.
                         
                          CELESTE
           How's your practice? (waving her
           finger in his face, laughing)
                         
                          PAUL
           White trash?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Uh huh. What are you?
           63.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           Um, a cereal killer, obviously.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You're "punny."
                         
                          PAUL
           By the way, you were right.
                         
                          CELESTE
           About what?
                         
                          PAUL
           About me. All of it, the car, the
           phone, the yoga. Except that I did
           go to an Ivy League school.
           Cornell.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Barely an Ivy.
                         
                          PAUL
           I know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Do you smoke?
                         
                          PAUL
           At parties.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Me too. Let's go.
                         
                         
          58 EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS HOME BACKYARD-NIGHT 58
                         
           Celeste and Paul sit away from the party, smoking cigarettes.
                         
                          PAUL
           (Playful) Sorry about that day at
           the gym. I feel really open after
           yoga...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Shhhh. Don't say open. Your
           costume's great. Don't ruin it.
                         
                          PAUL
           I'm kidding. I only go to yoga to
           meet girls. Speaking of, what's the
           deal with you and me? Is this
           happening? Or...
           64.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           My husband of six years wants a
           divorce so he can marry the woman
           who's carrying his child. That's
           the deal with you and me.
                         
                          PAUL
           I'm sorry, that sounds tough.
                         
                          CELESTE
           He's having a baby with a girl he
           barely knows. He's so lost. He's
           just going about it all...wrong.
                         
                          PAUL
           And you're right. Now what?
                         
                          CELESTE
           What do you mean?
                         
                          PAUL
           Well do you want to be right or do
           you want to be happy?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Listen, Yoga, I don't WANT to be
           right, I AM right. People will let
           you down. I've accepted that fact,
           but unfortunately, most of the
           time, knowing that does keep you
           from being happy. But at least
           it's real.
                         
                          PAUL
           No one has ever given a more self-
           righteous monologue wearing only a
           trash bag. Except for maybe the
           homeless guy outside my dry
           cleaners.
                         
          Beth and Tucker approach Celeste and Paul.
                         
                          BETH
           Time to go, drunky.
                         
          They head off.
                         
                          PAUL
           (yells to Celeste) Call me!
           65.
                         
                         
          59 INT. CELESTE'S HOME OFFICE-DAY (SUNDAY) 59
                         
           Celeste is going through papers on her desk. She's cleaning
           house. She sees the envelope from the divorce lawyer. She
           quickly tosses it aside. Then she comes across one of Jesse's
           old notebooks. She flips through it. She reads a couple of
           sweet passages about her, it makes her smile. She grabs the
           phone.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey, it's Celeste. You know, I
           still have a bunch of your stuff in
           the office. You should probably
           grab it at some point. Okay.
                         
           She hangs up. She makes a decision. She grabs a box and
           starts throwing everything and anything in it that belongs to
           Jesse.
                         
                         
          60 EXT. JESSE AND VERONICA'S HOUSE-ECHO PARK-DUSK 60
                         
           Celeste carries a box of Jesse's stuff to his front door.
           She doesn't knock. She leaves the box by the door. But she
           decides to keep the one journal with the sweet passages for
           herself; she deserves it and he'll never know. She starts to
           walk away when she notices, it's trash day.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          61 INT. VERONICA'S VOLKSWAGON BEETLE-DUSK 61
                         
           Jesse drives and Veronica is in the passenger seat. They are
           quiet and content. They look at each other and smile. After a
                          BEAT:
                         
                          VERONICA
           You're going to be a really good
           dad.
                         
                          JESSE
           What? Why did you say that?
                         
           Veronica studies Jesse's face.
                         
                          VERONICA
           I don't know, I just know it.
                         
                          JESSE
           No one's ever said that to me.
                         
                          CUT TO:
           66.
                         
                         
          62 EXT. JESSE AND VERONICA'S DRIVEWAY-A MOMENT LATER 62
                         
           Three trash cans-green, brown, and blue-are lined up in the
           driveway. A huge box is protruding from the blue can.
           Celeste considers. So much to be learned from the trash. She
           slowly walks over. She peeks in at the box; it has a big
           picture of a fancy stroller on the side of it. Crushing.
                         
                          CELESTE
           At least they recycle.
                         
                         
          63 INT. VERONICA'S VOLKSWAGON BEETLE-A MOMENT LATER 63
                         
           Veronica looks out the window.
                         
                          JESSE
           This is...so weird but I just
           realized...what's your middle name?
           I don't even know it.
                         
           They laugh a little.
                         
                          VERONICA
           It's um...Godelieve.
                         
                          JESSE
           Goldleaf?
                         
                          VERONICA
           No, Goldelieve. It means loved by
           the Gods. It's Dutch.
                         
                          JESSE
           Sweet. Mine's Mordechai.
                         
                          VERONICA
           What does it mean?
                         
                          JESSE
           Means I'm really Jewish.
                         
           Veronica giggles. They're getting to know each other. It's
           awkward...but sweet.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          64 EXT. JESSE AND VERONICA'S SIDEWALK-ANOTHER MOMENT LATER 64
                         
           Celeste is still digging in the trash. She looks further
           down.
           67.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Guitar Hero?? That's quite an
           extravagant purchase for a
           freelance writer and his "elegant"
           Belgian bride.
                         
          All of a sudden, her diamond bracelet slips off her wrist and
          plunks to the bottom.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Shit. Shit shit shit.
                         
          She drops Jesse's journal to the concrete and crawls into the
          trash can, still reaching for the bottom, not quite getting
          there. The trash can falls over with her in it. Just then,
          Jesse's car pulls up and headlights shine on Celeste half-way
          in the trash can. She fumbles and then:
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Ow!!! Shit!
                         
          A piece of glass from the can has sliced her face. She
          immediately wiggles out of the trash can, stands it back up
          again. She looks for a place to run. It's too late. She picks
          up the journal and hides behind the trash cans but Jesse and
          Veronica have been watching her whole opera from the car.
          Jesse approaches a crouching Celeste.
                         
                          JESSE
           Celeste?
                         
          Celeste stands up slowly as if nothing is wrong. She is also
          holding Jesse's journal close to her chest.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey!
                         
                          JESSE
           What...are you doing?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I just...
                         
          She looks around to make an excuse.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Um...came over to drop off some of
           your stuff.
                         
                          JESSE
           But why were you in the trash can?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I lost something.
           68.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           In the trash can?
                         
                          CELESTE
           My bracelet. It was a whole thing.
           It's over now.
                         
          Jesse and Veronica just stare at Celeste for a long beat.
                         
                          JESSE
           You've met Veronica, right?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yes! Hi! Wow, you're so pregnant,
           right! I love your sweater.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Oh. Thanks! (beat) Are you
           bleeding?
                         
                          CELESTE
           What? Oh (she touches her cheek),
           yeah, I guess I am.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Let me get you something for that.
                         
                          CELESTE
           NO. No, don't. It's fine, just a
           little cut.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Are you sure? I'm so sorry about
           this.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, I'm sorry. So sorry. Well, I'm
           late for things. Have a good
           afternight.
                         
                          VERONICA
           You sure you don't want to come in
           for a drink?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Nooooo, no. That's very nice but
           no. Great to see you guys! Okay.
                         
          She starts to walk away with the journal.
                         
                          JESSE
           Is that mine?
           69.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Waht? Oh, yeah, that's weird. I
           don't know how...here you go.
                         
           She laughs nervously and hands him his journal. Celeste
           walks to her car.
                         
                         
          65 INT. POP FORM-CELESTE'S OFFICE- NEXT DAY 65
                         
           Celeste listen to her work messages on speakerphone as she
           Instant Messenger's with Beth. Celeste writes "I went through
           Jesse's trash last night. Oh no." Beth writes back, "I'm
           coming to your office right now."
                         
           PAUL (V.O.)
           Hey. Celeste. It's Paul. The cereal
           killer? There's this yoga retreat
           in Tulum that I just got an e-mail
           about...uh, that's not why I'm
           really calling. I just like you.
           Call me back if you want to drink
           some cold beer with me. 310 864-
           2120.
                         
                         
          66 EXT. POP FORM COURTYARD- 30 MINUTES LATER 66
                         
           Celeste and Beth eat lunch in the zen garden outside the Pop
           Form building. Celeste is picking at the end of her sandwich,
           recounting the waking nightmare of last night. The cut on her
           face is neatly bandaged.
                         
                          BETH
           You told her you liked her sweater?
           What are you, twelve?
                         
                          CELESTE
           It was a disaster. But you should
           have seen the sweater. So great.
           Beth, am I losing my mind?
                         
                          BETH
           Maybe. No. Please no more trash-
           diving. Let's focus on you now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           This guys Paul keeps calling me but
           I don't know...
                         
                          BETH
           C, you never know. Just go out with
           him. It doesn't have to be
           perfect...
           70.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           I met him at the gym. I'm not
           meeting my husband at the gym.
                         
                          BETH
           Just go. Nothing to lose.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          67 INT. PHO SIAM THAI MASSAGE-NIGHT 67
                         
           Celeste is lying in a quiet, dark room in thai fisherman
           pants and a large t-shirt. She takes a deep breath.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So where do you live?
                         
           We reveal that she is lying next to Paul, they are both about
           to get thai massages.
                         
                          PAUL
           Uh, I live in Westwood. In a condo.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Cool.
                         
                          PAUL
           You are gonna love this place.
           You've never felt so relaxed in
           your life.
                         
           Cherry and Lucky enter, the masseuses. They all exchange
           quiet hellos and head nods. Cherry and Lucky get to work.
           Lucky takes Celeste's leg and pushes it all the way over her
           head, not the most comfortable position.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ahhhhh.(responding to the stretch)
           Wow, this is a unique place to take
           a date.
                         
                          PAUL
           Yeah, I take all my dates here.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I feel special.
                         
                          PAUL
           You are. They all are.
                         
           Celeste giggles. Paul takes a deep exhale as Cherry rams her
           elbow into his shoulderblade.
           71.
                         
                         
           PAUL (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           So how is being right about
           everything going for you?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Not...that well. I've been on a
           real winning streak, so I thought
           I'd call you.
                         
                          PAUL
           You know what? I'm happy you did.
                         
           At that moment, CRACK! Lucky has Celeste in a bear hug and it
           looks like she may have broken her back.
                         
                          CELESTE
           AHHHH! I don't know what your
           definition of relaxing is but...
                         
                          PAUL
           Just wait. Trust me, you need this
           right now.
                         
                         
          68 EXT. PHO SIAM-NIGHT 68
                         
           Celeste and Paul exit. He has a huge smile on his face. She
           looks like she's in pain.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Why would you take me to a place
           where Asian people beat you up?
           That was absolute torture.
                         
                          PAUL
           But how do you feel?
                         
           Celeste takes a beat to see how she feels.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I feel great, actually.
                         
                          PAUL
           So shut up then.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Where are we going now?
                         
                          PAUL
           Don't try to control me. You need
           to let go. In yoga, we call it
           vairyaga.
                         
           He strikes a reverse triangle yoga pose in the parking lot.
           72.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh my god, don't, with the yoga.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          69 INT. DOWNTOWN CLUB-NIGHT 69
                         
           Celeste and Paul walk down stairs into an incredibly cool-
           looking speak easy. Teddy Pendegrass' "Love TKO" is playing
           and people are dancing, actually dancing. No one is there to
           be seen, there is no pretention.
                         
                          CELESTE
           This place is...really cool.
                         
                          PAUL
           You sound surprised.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I am, Westwood condo.
                         
                          PAUL
           I'll get us beers.
                         
           Celeste takes in the atmosphere for a moment. She is happy to
           be out. She takes her hair down, puts her hands through it,
           trying to look a little better.
                         
           PAUL (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hey!
                         
           Paul is on the dance floor, with two beers. Celeste meets
           him, takes her beer, and downs a third of it. Celeste looks
           up and Paul has started to dance. He looks at Celeste with
           jocular seduction. He's actually not a bad dancer. Maybe he's
           good? Okay, no, he's great. Paul pulls Celeste in and they
           dance together. She's sort of embarrassed but she's having
           fun. Paul pulls away in a little spin and goes into a James
           Brown splits move.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ohh!!
                         
           Celeste is into it now. She dances around him, other people
           watch them. Paul pulls Celeste in close. Celeste kisses Paul
           quickly, to his surprise.
                         
                          PAUL
           What was that for?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Vairyaga, bro, let go. Not
           everything has to have a reason.
           73.
                         
                         
           They smile at each other.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
                          ECU OF
                         
           Jesse, Skillz and Tucker with their arms up, cheering loudly.
                         
                         
          70 EXT. FAIRFAX HIGH- CHEERLEADING PRACTICE-DUSK 70
                         
           Jesse, Skillz and Tucker are taking in a high school
           cheerleading practice, drinking tall boys and smoking cigs.
           Despite their ragtag appearance, do not be fooled...They are
           very loyal and knowledgable supporters.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Oooh...toe touch basket toss coming
           up...degree of difficulty 9.
           Gnarly.......nailed it! Way to go,
           Becky!!!
                         
           Jesse is look at his iPhone. He is looking at "Veronica and
           Jesse Baby Registry"
                         
                          JESSE
           What the fuck is a Baby Bjorn?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           It's a very, very tiny Swedish man.
                         
                          TUCKER
           It's a baby carrier that allows
           your child to benefit from parental
           intimacy without the confinement of
           a stroller. Duh.
                         
                          JESSE
           Why do you know that.
                         
                          TUCKER
           Beth. We go to a lot of baby
           showers.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           I put a lot of babies in the
           ladies.
                         
           A parent of a cheerleader looks at trio with disgust. Jesse
           is still going through the registry list.
           74.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           Birthing towels, breast pump,
           Diaper genie? Fuck, I'm definitely
           having a baby. (beat) How's
           Celeste?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           She's...oh-kay. I'm fine-tuning her
           cannibus levels right now, just
           trying to find the right balance.
                         
                          JESSE
           Celeste doesn't smoke pot.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           She does now. She loves it.
                         
          Jesse takes this in. Tucker changes the subject.
                         
                          TUCKER
           How's Veronica? She's so sweet.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, less sweet pregnant but it's
           probably just hormones.
                         
                          TUCKER
           But are you into it?
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, I really like her. She seems
           great. For someone that I don't
           really know that's having my baby.
                         
          "California Love" by Tupac (or whatever song we clear) comes
          on and the cheerleaders start a routine.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           MY JAM!
                         
          Skillz stands up and starts breaking it down. He's not that
          good. Committed though. Jesse and Tucker continue to talk.
                         
                          TUCKER
           Are you scared?
                         
                          JESSE
           A little. Yes.
                         
                          TUCKER
           That's great. You should be. Just
           keep saying "yes." I'm really proud
           of you.
           75.
                         
                         
           Skillz looks at his cell phone. He shows Jesse a text from
           Celeste that reads, "I need green. Now."
                         
                          SKILLZ
           She's like my top client now.
                         
                         
          71 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-LATE NIGHT 71
                         
           Celeste is home from her date with Paul and is now obsessing
           on Jesse's Facebook page. His status reads "in a
           relationship." She's drunk and this makes her sad. Oh,
           there's a video. It's of Jesse and Veronica. Jesse presents
           Veronica with a cake, she laughs and blows out the candles.
           They kiss. Crushing. Confusing. Her doorbell rings.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          72 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-A COUPLE MINUTES LATER 72
                         
           The door opens to reveal Skillz. He holds up a bag of weed.
                         
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Step out of the shadows and into
           the light. Are you crying?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't know what I'm doing. Dating
           is stupid and all of a sudden, my
           ex-husband bakes cakes? It's
           probably fucking gluten-free.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           What?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Nothing. Can you just roll a joint
           please?
                         
           Skillz rolls a tight joint.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Day by day, C. You need not trip.
                         
           Celeste takes a drag.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What are they like together?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Who? Jesse and Veronica?
           76.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           You know, they're oh-kay. Jesse is
           trying. It's not all rainbows and
           unicorns but...
                         
                          CELESTE
           So he's not happy.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           I didn't say that.
                         
                         
          73 INT. POP FORM CONFERENCE ROOM-NEXT DAY 73
                         
           Pop Form employees file out of a Riley Banks meeting. Riley
           approaches Celeste.
                         
                          RILEY
           I really like the logo.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think it's
           perfect.
                         
                          RILEY
           The I.M. Pei influence is pretty
           cool.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow, yeah, there is a little of
           that happening. I.M. Pei. Huh.
                         
                          RILEY
           Are you mocking me?
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, I'm just impressed that you
           know anything about architecture.
                         
                          RILEY
           Why, because I'm a pop star? You
           know what your thing is? Contempt
           prior to investigation.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm sorry?
                         
                          RILEY
           You're convinced you're smarter
           than everyone and THAT is your
           dark little prison.
           77.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Are you...?? How dare you...
                         
           Riley smiles at Celeste, turns and leaves.
                         
                         
          74 INT. CELESTE'S PRIUS-LATER 74
                         
           Celeste is still reeling from Riley's verbal undressing.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Dark little prison?? Bitch, what
           does she know. You know what's a
           dark little prison?? Having to wear
           midriffs for a living. What does
           she...
                         
           Celeste is pulling into her driveway and notices...Jesse,
           sitting on her porch, smoking a cigarette.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           What the fuck.
                         
                         
          75 EXT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-A MOMENT LATER 75
                         
           Celeste cautiously walks up to her front door. Before she can
           speak, Jesse does.
                         
                          JESSE
           I started smoking again.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I can see that. That must go well
           with your pilates.
                         
           Jesse looks sad and confused.
                         
                          JESSE
           I don't know what the rules are and
           I'm sure I'm breaking them
           but...god, I really miss you.
                         
           Celeste tries to digest this.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You want to come in?
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          76 INT. CELESTE'S HOUSE-AN HOUR LATER 76
                         
           They are in her living room on the couch, have a drink.
           78.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           Veronica is friends with the
           assistant gallerist there and he
           just really loved my stuff. I
           don't know, we'll see...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Jesse, that's great. I'm so happy
           for you.
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, yeah. It's great.
                         
           Why doesn't he seem happier? He knocks back the rest of the
           drink.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I should probably get home.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah. It's really nice to see you.
                         
           He hugs her. Tight. They breathe together. They hug
           tighter. He pulls away, looks at her and kisses her for one
           second, very tenderly. She pulls away.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           You should go.
                         
                          JESSE
           Can we just...lay here for a bit?
                         
           Celeste lays down and Jesse spoons behind her on the couch.
           They hold each other. There's a long drag of silence.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I can't believe I'm having a
           baby...and it's not with you.
                         
           We see Celeste's face but Jesse doesn't. She's crying.
                         
                         
          77 INT. CELESTE'S LIVING ROOM- THE NEXT MORNING 77
                         
           The phone rings. It's early. Celeste, still in her clothes
           from the night before, wakes up. Jesse is gone. She fumbles
           for the phone.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah.
           79.
                         
                         
                          SCOTT
           We have a massive problem on our
           hands. I need you in the office.
           Now.
                         
                         
          78 INT. POP FORM OFFICES-LATE AFTERNOON 78
                         
           INSERT of a large, magnified version of Riley's "RB" logo. It
           is pretty clear what the image looks like. Scott stares at
           Celeste, waiting for her to freak out.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't see anything.
                         
                          SCOTT
           (referring to the logo) It's a
           penis. And a butt.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What? Really? I don't see it.
                         
                          SCOTT
           You can't be serious. (points to
           the logo) There's the penis. And
           there's the penis going into the
           butt.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I think it's a stretch.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Well, it's not a stretch, Celeste.
                         
           Scott puts a DVD into the DVD player. A reel of news clips
           comes on.
                         
                          NEWSCASTER
           ...teenagers were hoping to get a
           little bit of the teen star's
           fashion magic but instead, they
           have been suprised by what they
           saw.
                         
                          PARENT
           There's homosexual butt sex in the
           logo. Does Riley think we're that
           stupid?? I will never support gay
           marriage.
           80.
                         
                         
                          NEWSCASTER
           Neither Riley nor a representative
           from Pop Form-the marketing company
           responsible-could be reached for
           comment.
                         
           Scott turns it off.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Celeste, what did you do. How
           could be so careless?
                         
           Celeste picks up the magnified logo again.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh. Oh my God. Oh wow, I totally
           see it now. WOW. Ha. Haha.
           Hahahahaaha.
                         
           Celeste starts laughing uncontrollably. It's the funniest
           thing she's ever seen.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           It's a cock in a butt!!!
           Hahahaahaaa!!
                         
                          SCOTT
           (fuming)Stop it. Stop laughing.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Scott, come on...
                         
                          SCOTT
           No, this is not a joke. Our
           company's in serious danger.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You're being dramatic.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Get out. I can't, with you, right
           now. I have to deal with this. I'll
           call you soon.
                         
           Her laughter fades and she exits the conference room.
                         
                         
          79 EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD.-LATER THAT DAY-DUSK 79
                         
           Bon Iver's "Skinny Love" plays as Celeste walks slowly
           amongst the celebrity impersonators, tourists and drunks on
           the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
           81.
                         
                         
           It is intercut with a montage of Super 8 footage of Celeste
           and Jesse in the past: At a seaside house, Jesse is
           reluctantly cutting a head off a fish to cook it, Celeste is
           repulsed but laughing. Celeste and Jesse cuddle in a sleeping
           bag, fighting off the cold. Celeste and Jesse take cover in a
           torrential New York City rain. They stand under an awning and
           she smiles as she runs her hand through his wet hair. Celeste
           is abruptly shaken out of her memories by a giant Chewbacca
           hugging her before she has a chance to stop him.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No...okay.
                         
                         
          80 INT. THE WELL BAR-EARLY EVENING 80
                         
           We see Jesse sitting at the dive bar. Celeste enters and
           sits next to Jesse. She is happy to see him.
                         
                          JESSE
           Hey.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey.
                         
                          JESSE
           We gotta talk.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I know. That's why I called.
                         
                          JESSE
           Celeste...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wait, let me say something. I
           don't know what happened last
           night. I don't know what's
           happening with your other
           situation. But I need to say this.
           For the record, I fucked up. I was
           cavalier about you. I took us for
           granted. And I know this may sound
           crazy but I'd be remiss if I
           didn't...if you were open to it...I
           think that I could do better. With
           you. With us. If there's a chance
           still...I'd like to know.
                         
           Jesse can't even look at her.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Jesse?
           82.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm sorry. I can't.
                         
           Jesse gets up and leaves.
                         
                         
          81 EXT. THE WELL BAR-EVENING 81
                         
           Jesse walks out of the bar. He takes a deep breath and starts
           walking. A beat later, Celeste tears out of the bar, walking
           quickly after Jesse.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey!
                         
           Jesse pauses for a moment. He turns.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Why did you come to my house last
           night?
                         
                          JESSE
           I don't know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh no, I think you do.
                         
                          JESSE
           I made a mistake.
                         
                          CELESTE
           And?
                         
                          JESSE
           I shouldn't have come.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You're a fucking coward.
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm just trying to do the right
           thing with Veronica. I'm trying to
           change.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, you never changed for me.
                         
           Jesse pauses.
                         
                          JESSE
           To be honest, you didn't really let
           me.
           83.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow. All I did was wait for you to
           grow up! I rooted for you, I
           fucking paid for everything, I did
           everything for you!
                         
                          JESSE
           Yeah, and I was never your equal.
           And you know what? I think you
           preferred it that way.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right. Well, I know my success was
           never easy for you.
                         
                          JESSE
           And how do you define success,
           Celeste? Because you don't look
           very successful right now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           And you are? Pretending to be a
           father? Pretending to be an adult?
                         
                          JESSE
           What do you want?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I just want you to admit that
           you're wrong!
                         
                          JESSE
           Wrong? Wrong about what? What did
           you want me to do? Wait for you to
           meet someone first? Is that how you
           saw it happening?
                         
          Celeste doesn't respond.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I didn't expect to meet someone so
           fast, but I did. And I think we
           have a chance to be happy together.
           I don't want to blow that.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You know what, Jesse? You
           definitely will blow it.
                         
          Jesse takes a beat. It stings.
                         
                          JESSE
           I feel really sorry for you. You
           might be alone forever.
           84.
                         
                         
           He starts to walk away. Celeste call after him.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Don't ever call me.
                         
                          JESSE
           Don't worry about it.
                         
           Jesse walks away.
                         
                         
          82 EXT. CELESTE'S GARDEN-NIGHT 82
                         
           Skillz and Celeste sit in her backyard and watch the last
           scene from "Dirty Dancing." The image is being projected onto
           her garden wall. There is no sound. Instead, Bob Marley's
           "Kaya" plays over the speakers. Celeste is ripping an
           enormous bowl from a four-foot bong. Skillz is on his knees,
           bracing the bong, looking at Celeste with admiration. Celeste
           watches the movie.
                         
                          CELESTE
           She's so sad.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Is she? I don't think so.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, she's sad. I can tell. I went
           to dance camp.
                         
           We see Jennifer Grey elevated above Patrick Swayze, looking
           elated. Celeste exhales a huge billow of smoke.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           That's the first good thing that's
           happened to me in months.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Shit'll get better.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Will it? You don't know that.
                         
           Celeste grabs a handful of Cheetos from an economy-sized bag.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           How could he do this to me?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           J-Thunder? He's not doing anything
           to you. You wanted a divorce.
           85.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           But I didn't want it like this.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           When we are no longer able to
           change a situation, we are
           challenged to change ourselves.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Oh. It's Victor Frankl.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Huh.
                         
          Skillz gets up.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           I gotta go before Petco closes.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You have a pet?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           No, but I gotta get a toy for this
           girl's cat, you know, so she'll
           give up the kitty.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Can I come?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           No.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Will you bring me some Panda
           Express?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           No.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Do you think the Obamas are really
           in love?
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Yes. Enough questions. I'll pick
           you up at noon.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Noon?
           86.
                         
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Beth and Tucker's pre-wedding BBQ?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right, right.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           Hey, easy on the herb until then.
           That shit is powerful.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          83 EXT. BETH AND TUCKER'S BACKYARD-DAY 83
                         
           Celeste is sitting alone, wearing sunglasses, and
           uncharacteristically colorful clothes that don't match. Like
           a crazy lady jumpsuit. She is going to town on a HUGE plate
           of food: chicken wings, fries, burger, hot dog, coleslaw, egg
           salad and a beer. She attacks it like it's her last meal
           ever. She's also trashed. Celeste gets up and heads towards a
           group of people talking including, Beth's mom, Beth and a
           couple of her girlfriends.
                         
                          BETH
           Hi honey, you remember Eileen
           from...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Do you have any more of that ranch
           dressing? It's the fucking
           booooooomb.
                         
           Beth is embarrassed. Celeste gives Beth's mom, CAROL, 60,
           very large, a big sloppy hug.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hi Carol! Beth's getting married! I
           was married, remember? These guys
           are in for a fucking dogfight,
           right?
                         
           Beth pulls Celeste away.
                         
                          BETH
           Let's get you a soda.
                         
           They get to the bar.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Do you guys have any tequila?
                         
                          BARTENDER
           We only have Mimosas and Shandys.
           87.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'll have both please.
                         
           Beth pulls Celeste away from the bar and brings her into the
           house and plops her down on the couch.
                         
                          BETH
           I'm going to recommend some quiet
           time for you right now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Can I smoke?
                         
                          BETH
           No.
                         
           Celeste starts weeping.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I don't want to be alone forever.
                         
                          BETH
           Not forever, honey. Just until you
           sober up. You'll be fine.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Okay then, I'll just go to the
           other side of the pool. I promise I
           won't make you look bad.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          84 EXT. BETH AND TUCKER'S POOL-LATER 84
                         
           Jesse and Veronica are talking to Beth. In the foreground,
           Celeste slowly floats into frame on a raft in the pool,
           passed out, face down, sunglasses half off, fully clothed.
           Skillz approaches Beth.
                         
                          BETH
           At least she's quiet now.
                         
                          SKILLZ
           I'm gonna get her out of here.
                         
                         
          85 INT. BETH'S DUPLEX- HANCOCK PARK- NEXT DAY 85
                         
           Beth has tons of Barneys New York bags and is trying on
           clothes for her rehearsal dinner. Celeste is in the fetal
           position, hungover on Beth's bed.
           88.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           (on the phone) Hey Riley, it's
           Celeste. I just want to talk to
           you about this "error" in your
           logo. I'm so, so sorry, I will fix
           this...call me.
                         
                          BETH
           I just think it's corny to wear
           white two nights in a row. I want
           to rock a pattern, or maybe
           something in pastel...
                         
          She turns to Celeste in a dress.
                         
           BETH (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           How's this? C! Wake up! I'm
           leaving in an hour and I have to
           make a decision now. You owe me.
           You humped my grandmother
           yesterday.
                         
          Celeste is comatose.
                         
           BETH (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Oh no, are you okay?
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           What the fuck does Riley Banks
           know.
                         
                          BETH
           Um...nothing. She's a tart.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah dude! She's fucking moderately
           talented, blessed with a good face
           and has maybe 5 more years left of
           stardom. Who is she to tell ME
           what...
                         
          Celeste looks at her blackberry and realizes she never hung
          up on Riley. Oh shit. She hangs up quick and throws the
          blackberry across the bed.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I never hung up, I never hung up!
           Fuck! Do you think she...
                         
          Her blackberry rings. It's Riley. She takes a deep breath.
          She picks, all casual.
           89.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hey Riley, what's up?
                         
                          RILEY
           I need to talk to you. Come to my
           house. Now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh boy.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          86 INT. RILEY'S HOUSE- HOLLYWOOD HILLS-AFTERNOON 86
                         
           Celeste bursts in with all types of nervous energy.
                         
                          CELESTE
           The thing is, I have been having a
           really hard time in my life,
           everything is sort of falling apart
           and when you said that thing about
           contempt and investigation, it just
           sort of hit a nerve and...
                         
                          RILEY
           Just, shut up for a minute.
                         
           Riley is in tears.
                         
           RILEY (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I just found out my boyfriend
           cheated on me.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh. God, I'm sorry. I didn't even
           know you had a boyfriend.
                         
                          RILEY
           Nobody knew. He didn't want anybody
           to know. Fucking ass hole. And
           now, my career might be over
           because you put a penis in my logo.
           Thank you for that.
                         
           Riley is clearly destroyed.
                         
           RILEY (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I didn't know who to call.
                         
           Celeste gives Riley a big hug.
           90.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           So you called the smartest person
           you know.
                         
           Riley smiles through her tears.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          87 INT. RILEY'S HOUSE- HOLLYWOOD HILLS-LATER THAT NIGHT 87
                         
           Riley is asleep on the couch with a blanket over her.
           Celeste is up, watching "Great Sports Moments of 2008" on
           ESPN Classic.
                         
           It is a recap of Matthias Steiner's Olympic weight lifting
           triumph after his wife died. Jesse's favorite. Celeste is
           crying. This wakes Riley up.
                         
                          RILEY
           Are you crying?
                         
           Celeste turns off the television.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, yeah, this just reminds me of
           someone.
                         
                          RILEY
           A guy?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah. A guy.
                         
                          RILEY
           You miss him?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, I do.
                         
                          RILEY
           They all fucking suck.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Kind of.
                         
                          RILEY
           So it never gets better?
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, it doesn't. But you do. You're
           gonna be fine.
           91.
                         
                         
          88 INT. DRY CLEANER'S-MORNING 88
                         
           Celeste is runs into a dry cleaners. She is out of breathe.
           The long line of impatient people to see this dragon breather
           who has broke the silence. She looks at her watch. She
           stands diligently in line.
                         
           Celeste's phone rings loudly. She picks it up.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hi...I know I won't...no I'm on the
           road already! Near...Bakersfield?
           Of course I'll be there...love you
           too.
                         
           She hangs up and was clearly lying. She must do something.
           Something she does not want to do. She looks at the stoic
           woman in front of her.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I'm so sorry but I am the maid of
           honor and I am supposed to be at
           the wedding real far away, would
           you mind if I just got in front of
           you?...
                         
           The woman reluctantly waves her to pass.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Thank you so much, I really do
           appreciate...sir?
                         
           A disinterested man barely acknowledges Celeste.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I'm incredibly late for this
           wedding and my dress is here, is
           there any way...
                         
           He moves aside. The next man just stares at her.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Hi. I'm sure you heard me ask the
           last guy but...
                         
           The camera pulls out. A wide shot of Celeste, imprisoned by
           her own rules, asking every person to cut. It looks tedious
           and ridiculous.
                         
                         
           It's Paul. Again. She pushes "Ignore."
                         
                          CUT TO:
           92.
                         
                         
          89 INT. CAR-DAY 89
                         
           Celeste chain smokes. She makes up songs about how shitty
           the traffic is. She laughs uncontrollably. She just
           screams.
                         
                         
          90 INT. DELI-BIG SUR-LATE AFTERNOON 90
                         
           Celeste sits at a window counter. She looks out onto a small
           street in the center of town. She unwraps her sandwich from
           noisy, wax paper. It's really quiet in the deli. She sees a
           group of wedding guests outside. They wave. She waves back.
                         
                         
          91 INT. RECEPTION TENT-EARLY EVENING 91
                         
           The wedding is under way.
                         
                          PRIEST
           I now pronounce you husband and
           wife.
                         
           Tucker and Beth kiss. Everybody explodes in applause. We see
           Celeste in the audience, clapping. She looks beat down and
           tired.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          92 INT. RECEPTION TENT-NIGHT 92
                         
           Three girls, with no stage presence, are giving a speech.
           They are trading off rhyming couplets.
                         
                          GIRL #1
           She pursued her love of Spanish
           men, but missed her Tucker, more
           than just as a friend.
                         
                          GIRL #2
           And our princess returned home to
           her loving prince, and they've been
           together ever since.
                         
           ALL THREE GIRLS
           We love you, Bethy!!
                         
           The audience applauds. Celeste rolls her eyes.
                         
                          GIRL #2
           And now we're gonna hear from
           Celeste, Beth's best friend in the
           world.
           93.
                         
                         
          A little more applause. Celeste has completely forgotten she
          was supposed to speak. Oh no. She gets up slowly and grabs
          the mike.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thank you. Thanks a lot, girls,
           that was so...wow. There are no
           words. Well, this is gonna sound
           bad but I actually forgot that I
           was speaking tonight.
                         
          Beth looks at her, frozen.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I don't where to start. Um...how do
           you get a nun pregnant? You fuck
           her?
                         
          Beth's father laughs uncontrollably. He's the only one
          laughing.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Thanks, Tom. Man, it was much
           longer than I thought to get to Big
           Sur from Los Angeles on a Friday
           afternoon. Stellar call on having a
           destination wedding the weekend
           before 4th of July. Busiest travel
           day of the year. So thanks for
           that, Mrs. Weinberg.
                         
          Wedding guests look uncomfortable.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           But the truth is, I would go
           anywhere for Beth. She's my best
           friend. And I'm so happy for her.
           Senior year of college, we had a
           tradition. Every Sunday, come rain
           or shine, Beth and Tucker would
           meet me and Jesse at the Bishop
           with a 12-pack of Miller High Life,
           the champagne of beers, and we
           would meet to talk about what was
           important in the world, you know,
           Heidegger's influence on hip-hop.
           Or the feminist duality on "Melrose
           Place." Life's big questions. Beth
           and Tucker were just friends then
           but there was always something
           there. Just an ease they had with
           each other. Jesse and I spent years
           trying to get them together,
           unsuccessfully.
                          (MORE)
           94.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           But we all remained friends and
           watched as Tucker dated the most
           slutty, vacuous and vile girls on
           the planet. For five long years.
                         
           Tucker flinches.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Finally, he removed his head from
           his ass, and saw what was in front
           of him. And that was beautiful
           Beth. And none of us could be
           happier about it; they were
           perfect. At last. Love wins.
                         
           Wedding guests clap. They think it's over. It's not.
           Celeste looks at Jesse in the crowd. Veronica is next to
           him.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Um...Jesse and I are getting a
           divorce. So that's...yeah, our
           timing was not as good, I guess.
           Beth and Tucker, you are lucky to
           be best friends. Work hard and
           respect that. It doesn't come
           easily. Be patient, don't always
           think you're right. And if you are,
           it doesn't fucking matter anyway.
           Fight for it, everyday, I wish I
           had.
                         
                         
          93 EXT. RECEPTION TENT-AN HOUR LATER 93
                         
           Celeste is holding a small plate of food. Jesse sidles up to
           her.
                         
                          JESSE
           I know this may not the best time
           to talk about this...but...at some
           point, we will have to talk about
           Tucker's dance moves.
                         
           INSERT of Tucker dancing on the dance floor. It's
           unexplainable. It's shocking how terrible it is.
                         
                          CELESTE
           He is so special. Not as special as
           that poem. That those girls did?
                         
                          JESSE CELESTE
           Wow. Wow.
           95.
                         
                         
          He takes a beat.
                         
                          JESSE
           Your speech was really...beautiful.
           Thank you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I meant it.
                         
                          JESSE
           I know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You know what else is beautiful?
                         
                         
          Celeste picks up a baby gerkin from her plate and starts to
          jerk it off, as she and Jesse did earlier and as they have
          done many times.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Oh god, tug it.
                         
          Jesse starts to participate. He dips his finger in the creme
          fraiche and puts it on the top of the gerkin.
                         
                          JESSE
           Aw yeah! Fuck!
                         
          Jesse and Celeste are in hysterics. Just then, Veronica
          arrives.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Jesse?
                         
                          JESSE
           Hey.
                         
          Celeste and Jesse stop like two children who just got caught.
                         
                          VERONICA
           What are you doing?
                         
                          JESSE
           What? Nothing. We're just...
                         
          He looks at Celeste for cover. She is giddy, wasted and happy
          to explain.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, Jesse and I do this thing where
           we find the littlest thing that
           resembles a penis and we just, you
           know...
           96.
                         
                         
           Celeste and Jesse demonstrate for Veronica. Celeste looks up
           and realizes how dumb this must seem.
                         
                          VERONICA
           I don't get it.
                         
           Celeste and Jesse stop.
                         
                          CELESTE
           It's stupid.
                         
           Veronica is looking at Celete's food.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Oh, the foods out. (to Celeste) See
           you on the dance floor? Watch out
           for Tucker though.
                         
                         
           They leave Celeste, standing alone, smiling. She bites into
           the carrot.
                         
                         
          94 INT. WEDDING TENT-LATER 94
                         
           We see a raucous wedding dance floor. Everyone's dancing:
           Beth, Tucker, their families, their friends, Jesse, Veronica,
           Scott, etc. They are doing wedding dances. Celeste sits at
           her table, watching with a smile. It is bittersweet for her.
           She drinks a martini. Alone.
                         
                         
          95 INT. PAUL'S CONDO-NIGHT 95
                         
           Celeste and Paul are playing scrabble and drinking wine.
                         
                          PAUL
           (keeping score on a notepad) So,
           that's 38 points plus 50 bonus
           points for using all my tiles so...
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wait, wait, wait. I think I may
           have to challenge. Zooecia?? That's
           not a word, that's my hoochie
           cousin's name!
                         
                          PAUL
           Are you challenging or not?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yes, I definitely am.
           97.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           Well, I will tell you that Zooecia
           is a sac secreted by a compound
           organism but here you go. (he hands
           her the Scrabble dictionary) Look
           for yourself.
                         
           Celeste finds the word, reads the definition and silently
           accepts defeat.
                         
           PAUL (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Ha ha! I go again.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I've never lost a game of Scrabble
           in my life.
                         
                          PAUL
           Well, nothing lasts forever.
                         
                         
          96 INT. PAUL'S LIVING ROOM- LATER 96
                         
           Celeste and Paul are making out on the couch.
                         
                          PAUL
           I'm so sorry I beat you in
           Scrabble.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No you're not.
                         
                          PAUL
           You're right, I'm not.
                         
           The making out gets a little hotter. Celeste is aggressive.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Will you get a condom?
                         
                          PAUL
           Uh...I don't think we should...
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, you're using a condom.
                         
                          PAUL
           No, I don't think we should sleep
           together.
                         
           Celeste pulls away from him.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What?
           98.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           I just...I don't know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Are you not into it?
                         
                          PAUL
           No, no believe me, I'm into it.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Then, what's the deal?
                         
                          PAUL
           I really like you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Right, I'm confused...why not sleep
           with me then?
                         
                          PAUL
           Because I think I might really like
           you.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh. (further realizing) Oh. Okay.
           Well, I like you too.
                         
           Celeste looks distant.
                         
                         
          97 INT. L.A. NIGHTCLUB-NIGHT 97
                         
           Celeste is at a loud, trendy club. She sits next to Riley.
           They have to shout to be heard.
                         
                          RILEY
           THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST
           EMBARRASSING SPEECH EVER! HOW WILL
           SHOW YOUR FACE TO YOUR FRIENDS EVER
           AGAIN?
                         
                          CELESTE
           ACTUALLY, WEIRDLY, I'M KINDA HAPPY
           I DID IT. I FEEL BETTER SOMEHOW.
                         
                          RILEY
           WELL GOOD FOR YOU THEN.
                         
           Celeste looks around at lots of men, grinding each other with
           whistles in their mouth and drinks in their hands.
                         
                          CELESTE
           THE GAYS REALLY KNOW HOW TO PARTY,
           HUH?
           99.
                         
                         
                          RILEY
           WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
                         
          Celeste just looks at her like, "Oh you poor, sheltered
          Disney princess. Are you serious?"
                         
                          CELESTE
           THIS IS A GAY CLUB.
                         
                          RILEY
           IT'S OPENING NIGHT HERE. IT DOESN'T
           KNOW WHAT IT IS YET.
                         
          Still nothing from Riley.
                         
                          CELESTE
           RILEY, THE CLUB IS CALLED SWALLOW.
                         
          Riley looks around and takes it in. Aha, right. Celeste
          looks out amongst the crowd. Just then, two beefy, waxed,
          tanned, well-groomed gay men walk up to Celeste.
                         
                          GAY MAN
           Excuse me, can you please tell your
           friend Riley that we worship her??
                         
                          GAY MAN #2
           OMG, she's so pretty!
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sure...
                         
          Celeste notices that they are both wearing the Riley Banks t-
          shirts, made for pre-teens, with the cock-in-the-butt mistake
          in the logo. She points at it.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Wait, are you aware that the logo
           is...
                         
                          GAY MAN #2
           A dick in a butt? Yeahhh!
                         
                          GAY MAN
           It's amazing. All of our friends
           are rocking it. It's like the gay
           Izod.
                         
          The gay man points to a group of his friends on the dance
          floor, ALL wearing Riley Banks gear, some of them have even
          made their own t-shirts with the cock in the butt logo
          magnified.
           100.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           Wow, so, what, you just buy the
           biggest size they make?
                         
                          GAY MAN
           How dare you, I'm a size 10 in
           tween. I have a slight frame.
                         
           They walk away, offended. Celeste turns to Riley. She is
           being adored by gay men.
                         
                          RILEY
           I LOVE IT HERE!!
                         
           Celeste has a big idea.
                         
                         
          98 EXT. RUNYON CANYON-MORNING 98
                         
           Celeste is hiking alone on the phone, energized.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Tweens don't want her anymore. But
           the gays do! Ten percent of
           Americans are gay, Scott. You're
           gay, start thinking gay. Gay Izod.
           She could be Lady Gaga by the end
           of the year. Huge market.
                         
                          SCOTT
           Wow, you might have just turned the
           cock in the butt around.
                         
                          CELESTE
           We WILL make the cock in the butt
           work for us. The cock in the butt
           will be huge!
                         
           Just then, a mom and two small children walk by her, overhear
           her dirty mouth and glare at her. She waves at them self-
           consciously.
                         
           MONTAGE OVER SHUGGIE OTIS' "INSPIRATION INFORMATION":
                         
                         
          A98 SHOT OF CELESTE, PAUL, BETH AND TUCKER EATING DINNER AT A98
           LOTERIA MEXICAN RESTAURANT. PAUL IS TELLING A STORY-HE
           IS ANIMATED AND CONFIDENT. CELESTE LOOKS AT HIM, SLIGHTLY
           EMBARRASSED. A MOMENT LATER, BETH AND TUCKER ERUPT IN
           LAUGHTER. CELESTE SMILES.
           101.
                         
                         
          B98 SHOT OF JESSE AND VERONICA WAITING IN THE DOCTOR'S B98
           OFFICE, LOOKING NERVOUS. JESSE OFFERS VERONICA HIS HAND.
           SHE GRABS IT AND SMILES.
                         
                         
          C98 SHOT OF CELESTE, RILEY AND SCOTT AT A T-SHIRT SIGNING AT C98
           "A FRIEND OF DOROTHY'S," A GAY STORE IN WEST HOLLYWOOD.
                         
                         
          99 INT. TARGET-AFTERNOON 99
                         
           Celeste is shopping for a dresser. She is talking to a
           salesperson.
                         
                          SALESMAN
           So, it comes with directions and
           it's actually really easy to
           assemble.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Look, you do not know me. I do not
           want to assemble. Trust me, you do
           not want me to assemble. Bad things
           happen. Could I just take the floor
           model? I'll hook you up.
                         
                          SALESMAN
           Lemme go ask my manager.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thanks, dude.
                         
           Celeste is browsing and spots Veronica with a shopping cart
           filled with baby stuff. She approaches her.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Veronica? Hey, Celeste.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Of course, yeah, hi! What are you
           doing?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh, I'm getting a dresser. You?
                         
                          VERONICA
           Oh, you know getting...
                         
           VERONICA (CONT'D) CELESTE
           Baby stuff. Baby stuff.
                         
           VERONICA (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Beth is uh...throwing me a baby
           shower? So I have to register.
           102.
                         
                         
                          CELESTE
           She is?
                         
          Celeste swallows this.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           That's uh...really nice.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Very. And so helpful right now.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Of course. (laughs nervously) Well,
           looks like you're really organized.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Organized, terrified.
                         
                          CELESTE
           You'll do great.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Thanks. I hope so.
                         
          They share an awkward moment.
                         
           VERONICA (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Listen, I never got a chance to
           just tell you I'm so sorry about
           all this. Trust me, I didn't
           expect...
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, don't. Really. There's nothing
           to apologize for. I'm the one who's
           sorry. I mean, I dug through your
           trash.
                         
          Celeste laughs.
                         
                          VERONICA
           Look, I don't blame you. For
           anything. This has all been so
           weird. Everything happened really
           fast.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, it did. But everything will
           work out. I know it. Jesse's book
           is coming out...
                         
                          VERONICA
           He's so talented.
           103.
                         
                         
           A beat.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, he is.
                         
           An awkward silence.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Well, good luck. Nice to see you.
                         
                          VERONICA
           You too.
                         
           They both steer their carts towards each other in opposite
           directions but bump right into each other.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Oh sorry!
                         
                          VERONICA
           Oh, it's okay! Bye again.
                         
                         
          100 INT. ROSEN KARAOKE-KOREATOWN- LATER THAT NIGHT 100
                         
           Celeste and Paul are in a private karaoke room. Paul is
           belting his heart out, singing Boyz II Men, "On Bended Knee."
           Celeste is loving it. She has her own mike and pipes in once
           in a while with a harmony.
                         
                          PAUL
           Can somebody tell me how to get
           things back the way they used to
           be...oh God give me a reason, I'm
           down on bended knee..ooohohhh ooooh
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ooohh ohhh. Til you come back to
           me..
                         
                          PAUL
           I'm down on bended knee hee hee
           hee.
                         
           They finish with a huge applause for themselves and toast
           with beers.
                         
           PAUL (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I think we're really good.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No, we ARE really good.
           104.
                         
                         
          Celeste punches in the numbers for the next song. It's
          "Islands in the Stream," made popular by Kenny Rogers and
          Dolly Parton.
                         
                          PAUL
           Aw shit!
                         
                          CELESTE
           Get ready. You're first.
                         
                          PAUL
           Baby when I met you, there was
           peace on earth, I set out get you
           with a fine tooth comb. I was soft
           inside. Soft inside? What the fuck?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Shhh come on. Focus.
                         
                          PAUL
           You do something to me, that I
           can't explain, hold me closer, and
           I feel no pain. Tender love is
           blind, it requires a dedication.
                         
          Celeste and Paul sing in harmony.
                         
                          CELESTE PAUL
          Honest love, we feel, needs Honest love, we feel, needs
          conversation. And we ride it conversation. And we ride it
          it together, uh huh... it together, uh huh...
                         
          Celeste slowly drops her mike. Paul is still singing.
                         
                          CELESTE
           (quietly) I can't.
                         
                          PAUL
           What? Come on, we're so good
           together. Islands in the stream,
           that is what we are. Get in there!!
           This is my favorite part!
                         
                          CELESTE
           No. I can't.
                         
                          PAUL
           I know I'm pitchy but I'm finding
           it. Sail away with me...
                         
                          CELESTE
           No. This. Us. I'm sorry.
                         
          Paul slowly drops his mike.
           105.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           What do you mean?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I just...can't.
                         
                          PAUL
           Are you serious? Oh no. Why?
                         
          He sits down on the couch. The music is still playing in the
          background.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I think I need to be alone? I'm not
           ready. I'm having fun and I feel
           like I'm beginning to like you and
           I just don't think I'm ready for
           that.
                         
                          PAUL
           What? Really?
                         
          Celeste doesn't say anything.
                         
           PAUL (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Wow, you're breaking my heart.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I'm so sorry. You are so...great.
           But I'm getting divorced.
                         
                          PAUL
           Celeste, I know.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I think I need to go through this
           alone.
                         
                          PAUL
           Yeah. Yeah, okay. I respect that.
           Live by will, not by force.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What?
                         
                          PAUL
           You're only ready when you're
           ready, you know? Don't force it.
           It's just some yoga shit.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Thanks.
           106.
                         
                         
                          PAUL
           But I do like you. I like you a
           lot. And when you are ready, if
           you're ready, call me.
                         
                         
                         
          101 INT. STEIN, WEINBERG, STEINBERG & JIMENEZ LAW FIRM - 101
                          AFTERNOON
                         
           Celeste and Jesse sit across from each other with their
           respective lawyers. They are both dressed very well. The
           atmosphere is formal, tense. There is not a lot of talking
           but there is a lot of loud paper shuffling and ball point
           pens. CELESTE'S LAWYER, male, 40, speaks:
                         
                          CELESTE'S LAWYER
           Sign here. And here. And here.
                         
           Celeste looks up, makes eye contact with Jesse and smiles
           uncomfortably.
                         
           CELESTE'S LAWYER (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           And here. Here. Yup. Aaaaaand
           here. Here. Couple more. Here...
                         
           Celeste is still signing. She looks at Jesse again, who is
           straightening his tie.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I like that tie.
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh, thank you.
                         
                          CELESTE'S LAWYER
           One more here.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Is it made out of organic mung
           beans?
                         
           Jesse nods and chuckles.
                         
                          JESSE
           No, I actually found it digging
           through your trash.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Ohhh, I see. All right.
                         
           They've broken the tension. But it's still silent. Then
           Jesse chortles. It sounds like a baby pig. It makes Celeste
           laugh.
           107.
                         
                         
           Now, both Celeste and Jesse are silently cracking up, doubled
           over as their lawyers sit there, watching them, perplexed.
                         
                         
                         
          102 EXT. STEIN, WEINBERG, STEINBERG & JIMENEZ LAW FIRM - 102
           A LITTLE LATER
                         
           Celeste and Jesse walk out of the building.
                         
                          JESSE
           So...we're divorced!
                         
           They high five. What are you supposed to do when you get
           divorced.
                         
                          CELESTE
           We did it.
                         
                          JESSE
           You wanna walk for a couple
           minutes?
                         
                          CELESTE
           Sure.
                         
                          CUT TO:
                         
                         
          103 EXT. LACMA- SUNDOWN 103
                         
           Celeste and Jesse are now approaching the front of "Urban
           Light," the installation from the beginning of the movie.
           The street lamps are now illuminated. She takes a seat on a
           step. Jesse sits next to her. She refers to the lamps:
                         
                          CELESTE
           These are beautiful.
                         
                          JESSE
           I thought you hated them.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Yeah, well, I've never seen them at
           night.
                         
           Jesse looks at the lamps and takes them in. He looks pretty
           sad.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           What's up with you? I know we just
           got divorced but no one died,
           right?
           108.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           I'm just feeling like maybe you
           were right. I am a fuck up. I
           don't know what I'm doing. My
           girlfriend left.
                         
          There is a long pause.
                         
                          CELESTE
           What? Veronica? Left where?
                         
                          JESSE
           Left me. She wanted me to tell her
           everything was gonna be okay and I
           couldn't. I don't know why but I
           just...couldn't. She wants to go
           back to Brussels.
                         
          Another monumental pause. Jesse's eyes start tearing up.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Okay, you can say it now. You were
           right, I blew it. Just say it.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey...don't do that.
                         
                          JESSE
           Do what?
                         
                          CELESTE
           You are not a loser. You never
           were. You took a chance. I admire
           that and I believe in you.
                         
                          JESSE
           You do?
                         
                          CELESTE
           I do. And I want to thank you.
                         
                          JESSE
           For what?
                         
                          CELESTE
           For never being the person I wanted
           you to be.
                         
                          JESSE
           Oh, you're welcome.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Go get her.
           109.
                         
                         
                          JESSE
           But I don't know if everything is
           gonna be all right.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Well, who does? Do you love her?
                         
          Jesse looks at Celeste.
                         
                          JESSE
           I do.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Then it's worth fighting for.
                         
                          JESSE
           Okay. Okay.
                         
          Celeste smiles with tears in her eyes.
                         
                          CELESTE
           God, I finally understand why you
           fucking cry all the time. Shit is
           emotional.
                         
          They share a laugh. Then, they sit in silence for a beat.
                         
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           You deserve to be happy. And I wish
           that for you, always.
                         
                          JESSE
           Me too.
                         
                          CELESTE
           So...I guess we were right.
                         
                          JESSE
           Huh?
                         
          Celeste makes the "C and J" hand gesture from the high school
          photo in the opening montage. Jesse makes it back. They
          smile.
                         
           JESSE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           I love you.
                         
          He kisses her on the lips. For the last time. And then, he's
          gone.
                         
                          CELESTE
           I love you too.
           110.
                         
                         
           Celeste sits awhile and looks up at the sky.
                         
                         
          104 INT. CELESTE'S PRIUS- NEXT DAY 104
                         
           Celeste drives and dials a number on her bluetooth.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Hey. So, you're probably giving
           your card to some girl in yoga
           right now. But if that doesn't work
           out for you...I think I may be
           ready. To beat you in Scrabble.
                         
                         
          105 EXT. GAS STATION- A MOMENT LATER 105
                         
           Celeste runs in to pay for gas. She is on her Blackberry.
                         
                         
          106 INT. GAS STATION MART 106
                         
           Celeste stands in line with some gum and water. A young man
           blatantly cuts in front of her with a gallon of water. Old
           Celeste returns for a moment.
                         
                          CELESTE
           Excuse me, sir?
                         
           The young man turns around. Celeste realizes she's no longer
           this person. She restrains herself.
                         
           CELESTE (CONT'D) (CONTD)
           Nothing.
                         
           Celeste takes in how she has changed. She smiles a little.
           The young man turns back to her.
                         
                          YOUNG MAN
           Hey, I'm sorry for cutting. My
           dog's in the car and he's really
           thirsty. So, thanks.
                         
                          CELESTE
           No problem.
                         
           She smiles again. The world feels bigger now.
                         
                         
                          FADE OUT



Celeste & Jesse Forever



Writers :   Rashida Jones  Will McCormack
Genres :   Comedy  Drama  Romance


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