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ALL SCRIPTS


 
          

                                 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

          

          
                                      Written by
          
                                   Quentin Tarantino

          

          

          1.

          EXT - DAIRY FARM- DAY
          The modest dairy farm in the countryside of Nancy, France (what the
          French call cow country).
          We Read a SUBTITLE in the sky above the farm house;

          CHAPTER ONE

          "ONCE UPON A TIME IN...

          NAZI OCCUPIED FRANCE"
          This SUBTITLE disappears, and is replaced by another one;

          "1941
          One year into the German
          occupation of France".
          The farm consists of a house, small barn, and twelve cows spread
          about.
          The owner of the property, a bull of a man FRENCH FARMER, brings a axe
          up and down on A tree stump blemishing his property. However simply by
          sight, you'd never know if he's been beating at this stump for the last
          year, or just started today.

          JULIE
          One of his three pretty teenage daughters, is hanging up laundry on
          the clothes line. As she hangs up a white bed sheet, she hears a
          noise, moving the sheet aside she see's;

          JULIE'S POV:
          A Nazi town car convertible, with two little nazi flags attached to
          the hood, a NAZI SOLDIER behind the wheel, a NAZI OFFICER alone in the
          back seat, following TWO OTHER NAZI SOLDIERS on motorcycles, coming up
          over the hill on the country road leading to their farm.

          JULIE
          Pappa.
          The French Farmer sinks his axe in the stump, looks over his shoulder,
          and see's the Germans approaching.
          The FARMERS WIFE, CHARLOTTE comes to the doorway of their home,
          followed by her TWO OTHER TEENAGE DAUGHTERS, and see the Germans
          approaching.
          The Farmer yells to his family in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

          FARMER
          Go back inside and shut the door.

          

          

          

          

          IL

          FARMER
          (to Julie)
          Julie, get me some water from the pump
          to wash up with, then get inside with
          your mother.
          The young lady runs to the water pump by the house. She picks up a
          basin, and begins pumping, after a few pumps, water comes out
          splashing into the basin.
          The French Farmer sits down on the stump he was previously chopping
          away at, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wipes sweat from off
          his face, and waits for the Nazi convoy to arrive. After living for
          a year with the sword of Damocles suspended over his head, this may
          very well be the end.
          Julie finishes filling the water basin, and places it on the window
          sill.

          JULIE
          Ready Pappa.

          FARMER
          Thank you darling, now go inside and
          take care of your mother. Don't run.
          Julie walks inside the farm house and closes the door behind her.
          As her father stands up from his stump, and moves over to the window
          sill with the water basin...
          .The SOUND of the ENGINES of the two motorcycles and car get LOUDER.
          The Farmer SPLASHES water from the basin on his face and down his
          front. He takes a towel off a nail, and wipes the excess water from
          his face and chest, as he watches the two motorcycles, the one
          automobile, and the four representatives of the National Socialist
          Party come to a halt on his property.
          We don't move into them, but keep observing them from a distance, like
          the Farmer.
          The TWO NAZI MOTORCYCLIST are off their bikes, and standing at
          attention next to them.
          The NAZI DRIVER has walked around the automobile, and opened the door
          for his superior.
          The NAZI OFFICER says to The Driver in UNSUBTITLED GERMAN;

          NAZI OFFICER
          This is the property of Perrier LaPadite?

          

          

          

          

          3

          NAZI DRIVER
          Yes heer Colonel.
          The Nazi officer climbs out of the back the vehicle, carrying
          in his left hand
           n d

          OFFICER
          Herman, until I summon you, I am to be
          left alone.

          NAZI DRIVER
          As you wish Heer Col.
          The S.S. COLONEL yells to The Farmer in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

          NAZI OFFICER
          Is this the property of Perrier LaPadite?

          FARMER
          I am Perrier LaPadite.
          The S.S. Colonel crosses the distance between them with long strides,
          and says in French with a smile on his face;

          NAZI OFFICER
          It is a pleasure to meet you Monsieur
          LaPadite, I am Colonel Hans Landa of
          the S.S.
          COLONEL.HANS LANDA offers the French Farmer PERRIER LAPADITE his hand.
          The Frenchman takes the German hand in his and shakes it.

          PERRIER
          How may I help you?

          COL LANDA
          I was hoping you could invite me inside
          your home and we may have a discussion.

          INT - LAPADITE FARM HOUSE - DAY
          The door to the farm house swings open, andtheaFarmer gesturestfor
          the S.S. COL to enter. Removing his grey S.S. cap,
          inside the Frenchman's home.
          Col Landa is immediately greeted with the sight of the Farmers wife,
          and three pretty daughters standing together in the kitchen, smiling
          in his direction.
          The Farmer enters behind him, closing the door.

          

          

          

          

          VA

          PERRIER
          Colonel Landa, this is my family.
          The S.S. COL clicks his heels together, and takes the hand of the
          French Farmers Wife...

          COL LANDA
          Col Hans Landa of the S.S. madame,
          at your service.
          He kisses her hand, then continues without letting go of his hostess
          hand...

          COL LANDA
          please excuse my rude intrusion on your
          routine.

          FARMERS WIFE
          Don't be ridiculous, heer Col.
          While still holding the French Woman's hand, and looking into her
          eyes, The S.S. Colonel says;

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, the rumors I have
          heard in the village about your family
          are all true. Your wife is a beautiful
          woman.
          His eyes leave the mother, and move to the three daughters.

          COL.LANDA

          (CON' T )
          And each of your daughters is more lovely
          then the last.

          PERRIER
          Merci. Please have a seat.
          The Farmer offers The S.S. Colonel a seat at the families wooden
          dinner table. The Nazi officer excepts the French Farmers offer,
          and lowers himself into the chair. Placing his grey S.S. cap on
          the table, and keeping his black attache case on the floor by his
          feet.
          The Farmer (perfect host) turns to his Wife and says;

           PERRIER
          Charlotte, would you be so good as to get
          The Colonel some wine?

          

          

          

          

          COL LANDA
          Merci be coupe Monsieur LaPadite, but no
          wine. This being a dairy farm one would
          be safe in assuming you have milk?

          CHARLOTTE
          Oui.

          COL LANDA
          Then milk is what I prefer.

          CHARLOTTE
          Very Well.
          The mother of three, takes a craft of milk out of the ice box,
          and pours a tall glass of the fresh white liquid for The Colonel.
          The S.S. Colonel takes a long drink from the glass, then puts it down
          LOUDLY on the wooden table.

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur, to both your family, and your
          cows, I say; Bravo.

          PERRIER
          Merci.

          COL LANDA
          Please, join me at your
          table.

          PERRIER
          Very well.
          The French Farmer sit's at his wooden dinner table across from
          The Nazi.
          The Women remain standing.
          Col Landa leans forward, and says to the Farmer in a low tone of

          CONFIDENTIALLY;

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, what we have to
          discuss,' would be better discussed in
          private. You'll notice, I left my men
          outdoors- if it wouldn't offend them,
          could you ask your lovely ladies to step
          outside.

          PERRIER
          You are right.

          

          

          

          

          G.

          PERRIER
          (to his women)
          Charlotte, would you take the girls
          outside. The Colonel and I need to have
          a few words.
          The Farmers wife follows her husbands orders, and gathers her
          daughter's taking them outside, closing the door behind them.
          The Two Men are alone, at the farmers dinner table, in the Farmers
          humble home.

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, I regret to inform
          you I've exhausted the extent of my
          French. To continue to speak it so
          inadequately, would only serve to
          embarrass me. However, I've been lead
          to believe you speak English quite well?

          PERRIER
          Oui.

          COL LANDA
          Well, it just so happens, I do as well.
          This being your house, I ask your
          permission to switch to English, for the
          remainder of the conversation?

          PERRIER
          By all means.
          They now speak ENGLISH;

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, while I'm very
          familiar with you, and your family.
          I have no way of knowing if you are
          familiar with who I am. Are you aware
          of my existence?
          The Farmer answers;

          PERRIER
          Yes.

          COL LANDA
          This is good. Are you aware of the job
          I've been ordered to carry out in France?

          

          

          

          

          I

          PERRIER
          Yes.
          The Colonel drinks more milk.

          COL LANDA
          Please tell me what you've heard?

          PERRIER
          I've heard, the fuhrer has put you in
          charge of rounding up the Jews left in
          France who are ether hiding, or passing
          for Gentile.
          The S.S.Colonel smiles.

          COL LANDA
          The Fuhrer couldn't of said it better
          himself.

          PERRIER
          But the meaning of your visit, pleasant
          though it is, is mysterious to me.
          The Germans looked through my house nine
          months ago for hiding Jews, and found
          nothing.

          COL LANDA
          I'm aware of that, I read the report on
          this area. But like any enterprise,
          when under new management, there's
          always a slight duplication of efforts.
          Most of it being a complete waste of time,
          but needs to be done nevertheless.
          I just have A few questions Monsieur
          LaPadite, if you can assist me with
          answers, my department can close the
          file on your family.
          Taking his black leather attache case, and placing it on the table, he
          takes out a folder from inside. He also extracts a expensive black
          fountain pen from his uniform front pocket. Opening the folder, and
          referring to it;

          COL LANDA
          Now before the occupation there were
          four Jewish families in this area, all
          dairy farmers like yourself.
          The Loveitts, The Doleracs, The Rollins,
          and The Dreyfus's, is that correct?

          

          

          

          

          8,

          PERRIER
          To my knowledge those were the Jewish
          families among the dairy farmers.
          - Heer Colonel, would it disturb you if
          I smoked my pipe?
          Looking up from his papers.

          COL LANDA
          Please, Monsieur LaPadite, it is your
          house, make yourself comfortable.
          The Farmer gets up from the table, goes to his shelf over the
          fireplace, and removes from it a WOODEN BOX that contains all the
          fixins to his pipe. He sits back down at the table with his Nazi
          guest.
          As The Farmer loads the bowel of his pipe with tobacco, sets a match
          to it, and begins slowly puffing, making it red hot, the S.S. Colonel
          studies the papers in front of him.

          COL LANDA
          Now according to these papers, all
          the Jewish families in this area have
          been accounted for - except, The Dreyfusis.
          Somewhere in the last year it would appear
          they have vanished.
          Which leads me to the conclusion that
          they've ether made good their escape,
          or someone is very successfully hiding
          them.
          (looking up from
          his papers, across
          the table at The

          FARMER)
          What have you heard about The Dreyfusis
          Monsieur LaPadite?

          PERRIER
          Only rumors -

          COL LANDA
          - I love rumors! Facts can be so
          misleading, where rumors, true or false
          are often reveling. So Monsieur LaPadite,
          what rumors have you heard regarding
          The Dreyfusis?
          The Farmerlooks at Landa.

          

          

          

          

          I.

          COL LANDA
          Speak freely Monsieur LaPadite, I want
          to hear what the rumors are, not who told
          them to you.
          The Farmer puffs thoughtfully on his pipe.

          PERRIER
          Again, this is just a rumor - but we
          heard the Dreyfusis had made there way
          into Spain.

          COL LANDA
          So the rumors you've heard have been of
          escape?

          PERRIER
          Yes.

          COL LANDA
          Were the LaPadites and the Dreyfusis
          friendly?
          As the Farmer answers this question, the CAMERA LOWERS behind his
          chair, to the floor, past the floor, to a small area underneath the
          floorboards revealing;

          FIVE HUMAN BEINGS
          lying vertically underneath the farmers floorboards. These human
          beings are The DREYFUSIS, who have lived lying down underneath the
          dairy farmers house for the past year. But one couldn't call what The
          Dreyfusis have done for the last year living. This family has done the
          only thing they could, hidden from a occupying army that wishes to
          exterminate them.

          PERRIER
          We were families in the same community,
          in the same bussiness. I wouldn't say
          we were friends, but members of the same
          community, we had common interest.
          The S.S. Colonel takes in this answer, seems to except it, then moves
          to the next question.

          COL LANDA
          Having never met the Dreyfusis, would
          you confirm for me the exact members of
          the household and their names?

          

          

          

          

          10.

          PERRIER
          There were five of them.
          The father, Jacob... .wife, Miram...
          her brother, Bob ...

          COL LANDA
          - How old is Bob?

          PERRIER
          Thirty - thirty one?

          COL LANDA
          Continue.

          PERRIER
          And the children... Amos... and Shoshanna.

          COL LANDA
          Ages of the children?

          PERRIER
          Amos - six - I believe. And Shosanna,
          was fifteen or sixteen, I'm not really
          sure.

          CUT TO

          UXT - DAIRY FARM - DAY
          The Mother and her three Daughters finish taking the laundry off the
          clothes line.
          They can't hear anything going on inside.
          e three Nazi Soldiers watch the three Daughters.

          SACK TO LANDA AND PERRIER

          COL LANDA
          Well I guess that should do it.
          Be begins gathering up his papers, and putting them back into his
           ttache case.
          the Farmer, cool as a cucumber, puffs on his pipe.

          COL LANDA
          However, before I go, could I have another
          glass of your delicious milk?

          

          

          

          
          it.

          PERRIER
          But of course.
          Farmer stands up, goes over to the ice box, and takes out the
          aft of milk. As he walks over and fills the Nazi Colonel's glass,
          German Officer talks.

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, are you aware of the
          nickname the people of France have given
          me?

          PERRIER
          I have no interest in such things.

          COL LANDA
          But you are aware of what they call me?

          PERRIER
          I'm aware.

          COL LANDA
          What are you aware of?

          PERRIER
          That they call you, "The Jew Hunter".

          COL LANDA
          Precisely! Now I understand your
          trepidation in repeating it.
          Before he was assassinated, Heydrich
          apparently hated the moniker the good
          people of Prague bestowed on him.
          Actually why he would hate the name,
          "The Hangman", is baffling to me
          It would appear he did everything in
          his power to earn it. But I, on the
          other hand, love my unofficial title,
          precisely because I've earned it.
          As "The Jew Hunter" enjoys his fresh milk, he continues to theorize
          with the french farmer.

          COL LANDA
          The feature that makes me such a effective
          hunter of the Jews, is, as opposed to most
          German soldiers, I can think like a jew.
          where they can only think like a German,
          or more precisely, a German soldier.
          Now if one were to determine what attribute
          the German people share with a beast, it
          would be the cunning and predatory instinct
          of a hawk.

          

          

          

          

          COL LANDA

          (CON'T)
          Negro's - gorilla's - brain - lips -
          smell - physical strength - penis size.
          But, if one were to determine what attributes
          the jews share with a beast, it would be
          that of the rat.
          Now the Fuhrer and Gobbles propaganda
          have said pretty much the same thing.
          Where our conclusions differ, is I don't
          consider the comparison a insult.
          Consider for a moment, the world a rat
          lives in. It's a hostile world indeed.
          If a rat were to scamper through your
          front door right now, would you greet it
          with hostility?

          PERRIER
          I suppose I would.

          COL LANDA
          Has a rat ever done anything to you to
          create this animosity you feel toward
          them?

          PERRIER
          Rat's spread disease, they bite people -

          COL LANDA
          - Unless some fool is stupid enough to
          try and handle a live one, rats don't
          make it a practise of biting human beings.
          Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague,
          but that was some time ago. In all your
          born days, has a rat ever caused you to
          be sick a day in your life? I purpose to
          you, any disease a rat could spread,
          a squirrel could equally carry.
          Yet I assume you don't share the same
          animosity with squirrels that you do with
          rats, do you?

          PERRIER
          No.

          COL LANDA
          Yet, they are both rodent's, are they
          not? And except for the fact that one
          has a big bushy tail, while the other
          has a long repugnt tail of rodent skin,
          they even rather look alike, don't they?

          

          

          

          

          13.6

          PERRIER
          It is a interesting thought,
          beer Colonel.

          COL LANDA
          However, interesting as the thought may
          be, it makes not one bit of difference
          to how you feel. If a rat were to scamper
          through your door, this very minute,
          would you offer it a saucer of your
          delicious milk?

          PERRIER
          Probably not.

          COL LANDA
          I didn't think so. You don't like them.
          You don't really know why you don't like
          them. All you know is, you find them
          repulsive.
          (let's the

          METAPHOR
          sink in)
          What a tremendously hostile world a rat
          must endure. Yet, not only does he
          survive, he thrives. And the reason for
          this, is because our little foe has a
          instinct for survival and presavation
          second to none. And that Monsieur, is
          what a jew shares with a rat.
          Consequently, a German soldier, conducts
          a search of a house suspected of hiding
          jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks
          in the barn, he looks in the attic,
          he looks in the cellar - he looks
          everywhere, he would hide. But there are
          many places it would never occur to a
          hawk to hide. However the reason the
          Fuhrer brought me off my Alps in Austria,
          and placed me in French cow country today,
          is because it does occur to me. Because
          I'm aware what tremendous feats human
          beings are capable of once they abandon
          dignity.
          (Changing tone)
          May I smoke my pipe as well?
          Th e Farmer's cool facade is little by little eroding.

          PERRIER
          Please, Cononel, make yourself at home.

          

          

          

          

          13.
          The Jew Hunter, removes both a pipe and a bag of tobacco fixings.
          The pipe, strangely enough, is a Calabash, made from a "S" shaped goard
          kith a yellow skin, made famous by Sherlock Holmes.
          A the Nazi Colonel, busies himself with his smoking life, he
          ontinues to hold court at the Frenchmans table.

          COL LANDA
          The other mistake the German soldier
          make is their severe handling of the
          citizens who give shelter and aid to
          the Jews. These citizens are not enemies
          of the state. They are simply confused
          people, trying to make some sense out of
          the madness war creates.
          These citizens do not need punishing.
          They simply need to be reminded of their
          duty in war time.
          Let's use you as a example Monsieur
          LaPadite. In this war, you have found
          yourself in the middle of a conflict
          that has nothing to do with yourself,
          your lovely ladies, or your cows - yet,
          here you are.
          So Monsieur LaPadite, let me purpose
          a question. In this time of war, what is
          your number one duty? Is it to fight the
          Germans in the name of France to your
          last breath? Or, is it to harass the
          occupying army to the best of your
          ability? Or, is it to protect the poor
          unfortunate victims of warfare who can
          not protect themselfs?
          Or, is your number one duty in this time
          of bloodshed, to protect those very
          beautiful women who constitute your
          family?
          The Colonel lets the last statement stand.

          COL LANDA
          That was a question Monsieur LaPadite.
          In this time of war, What do you consider
          your number one duty?

          PERRIER
          To protect my family.

          COL LANDA
          Now, my job dictates, that I must have
          my men enter your home, and conduct a
          thorough search, before I can officially
          cross your families name off my list.

          

          

          

          

          COL LANDA

          (CON'T)
          And if there are any irregularities to be
          found, rest assured, they will be.
          That is unless, you have something to tell
          me that will make the conducting of a
          search unnecessary.

          (PAUSE)
          I might add also, that any information
          that makes the preforming of My duty
          easier, will not be met with punishment.
          Actually quite the contrary, it will be
          met with reward.
          And that reward will be, your family
          will cease to be harassed in anyway,
          by the German military during the rest
          of our occupation of your country.
          The Farmer, pipe in mouth, stares across the table at his German
          opponent.

          COL LANDA
          You are sheltering enemies of the state,
          are you not?

          PERRIER
          Yes.

          COL LANDA
          Your sheltering them underneath your
          floorboards aren't you?

          PERRIER
          Yes.

          COL LANDA
          Point out to me the area's where their
          hiding.
          The Farmer points out the area's on the floor with the Dreyfusis are
          underneath.

          COL LANDA
          Since I haven't heard any disturbance,
          I assume that while their listening,
          they don't speak english?

          PERRIER
          Yes .

          COL LANDA
          I'm going to switch back to french now,
          and I want you to follow my masquerade
          - is that clear?

          

          

          

          

          PERRIER
          Yes.
          Colonel Landa stands up from the table, and switching to FRENCH says

          SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

          COL LANDA
          Monsieur LaPadite, I thank you for milk,
          and your hospitably. I do believe our
          business here is done.
          The Nazi Officer opens the front door, and silently motions for his
          son to approach the house.

          COL LANDA
          Mademoiselle LaPadite, I thank you for
          your time, we shant be bothering your
          family any longer.
          Yet the LaPadite women watch the Nazi soldiers, machine guns at ready,
          approach the house.
          The Soldiers enter the doorway, Col Landa, silently points out area of
          the floor the Jews are hiding under.

          COL LANDA
          So, Monsieur and Madame LaPadite
          I bid you adieu.
          otions to the Soldiers with his index finger.
          wy TEAR UP the wood floor with MACHINE GUN FIRE.
          The little farm house is filled with SMOKE, DUST, SPLINTERS, SCREAMS,
          0ULLET CASINGS, and even alittle BLOOD.
          With a hand motion from the Colonel, the Soldiers cut off their
          gunfire. The Colonel keeps his finger in the air to indicate silence.

          UNDERNEATH THE FLOORBOARDS
          The entire Dreyfus family lay dead. Except for sixteen year old
          $HOSANNA, who miraculously escaped being struck by the nazi's bullets.
          With her dead family surrounding her, the young girl goes for freedom
          (represented by wire mesh vent).

          L LANDA
          ears movement underneath the floor, looks down and see's a SHAPE
          Wing forward between the planks in the floor.

          COL LANDA
          It's the girl. Nobody moves

          

          

          

          

          I'.

          T
          KICKED open, the girl SPRINGS out.

          COL LANDA
          ae he crosses the floor, he see's the young girl RUNNING towards the
          cover of the woods. He unlatches the window, and opens it. Shosanna
          to perfectly FRAMED in the window sill.

          1SANNA
          RUNNING towards woods. Farm house and Col in the window in B.G.

          LTHY BAREFEET
          LAPPING against wet grass.
          Qt! SHOSANNMA' S FACE
          same as a animal being chased by a predator FLIGHT - PANIC - FEAR

          SNOSANNA'S POV
          the safety of tree's, getting closer.

          COL LANDA
          Pramed by the window, takes his LUGAR, and straight arm aims at the
          fleeing Jew, cocking back the hammer with his thumb.

          CU COL LANDA
          SLOW ZOOM into his eyes as he aims.

          PROFILE CU SHOSANNA
          Sod dash for life.

          L LANDA
          changes his mind. He yells to the rat fleeing the trap, heading for the
          safety of the wood pile, in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

          COL LANDA
          Au revoir, Shosanna! Till we meet again!

           HOSANNA
          Maces it to the woods, and is gone.
          T h e S.S. Colonel closes the window.

          

          

          

          

          17.

          EXT - NAZI TOWN CAR (MOVING)- DAY
          diihe ac seat of the convertible, that'sa stsn tColonel Hans Lan
          speeding away from the French farm house.
          Landa speaks to his Driver in GERMAN, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          COL LANDA
          Herman, I sense` a question on your lips?
          Out with it?

          DRIVER
          Why did yoy allow a enemy of the state
          to escape?

          COL LANDA
          Oh, I don't think the state is in too
          much danger, do you?

          DRIVER
          I suppose not.

          COL LANDA
          I'm glad you see it my way. Besides,
          not putting a bullet in the back of a
          fifteen year old girl, and allowing
          her to escape, our not nessessarlly
          the same thing. She's a young girl, no food,
          no shelter, no shoes, who's just witnessed
          the massacre of her entire family.
          She may not survive the night. And after
          word spreads about what happened today,
          it's highly unlikely she will find any
          willing farmers to extend her aid.
          If I had to guess her fate, I'd say she'll
          probably be turned in by some neighbour.
          Or, she'll be spotted by some German
          soldier. Or, we'll find her body in the
          woods, dead from starvation or exposure.
          Or, perhaps-she'll survive. She will
          elude capture. She will escape to America.
          She will move to New York city.
          Where she will be elected, President of
          the United States.
          The S.S. Colonel chuckles at his little funny.

          TITTLE CARD:"INGLORIOUS BASTERDS"

          

          

          

          

          1$,

          FADE UP

          CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:

          F

          CHAPTER TWO

          "INGLORIOUS BASTERDS"

          FADE UP

          EXT - SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND - DAY
          A bunch of SOLDIERS are lined up at attention.
          LIEUTENANT ALDO.RAINE, a hillbilly from the mountains of
          Tennessee, walks down the line. He recruits the men, the
          Germans will later call; "The Basterds". Lt.Aldo has one
          defining physical characteristic, a ROPE BURN around his
          neck. As if once upon a time,. he survived a LYNCHING.
          The scar will never once be mentioned.

          LT.ALDO
          My name is Lt.Aldo Raine, and I'm
          puttin together a special team.
          And I need me eight soldiers.
          Eight - Jewish - American - soldiers.
          Now y'all might of heard rumors
          about the armada happening soon.
          Well, we'll be leavin a little
          earlier. We're gonna be dropped
          into France, dressed as civilians.
          And once we're in enemy territory, as
          a bushwackin, guerrilla army, we're
          gonna be doin one thing, and thing
          only, Killin Nazi's.
          The Members of the National Socialist
          Party, have conquered Europe through
          murder, torture, intimidation, and
          terror. And that's exactly what we're
          gonna do to them. Now I don't know
          bout y'all? But I sure as hell, didnt
          come down from the goddamn Smoky
          mountains, cross five thousand miles
          of water, fight my way through half
          Sicily, and then jump out of a fuckin
          air-o-plane, to teach the Nazi's
          lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got
          no humanity. There the foot soldiers
          of a Jew hatin, mass murderin manic,
          and they need to be destroyed.
          That's why any and every son-of-a--bitch
          we find wearin a Nazi uniform, there
          gonna die.

          

          

          

          
          if.

          LT.ALDO

          (CON'T)
          We will be cruel to the Germans,
          and through our cruelty, they will
          know who we are. They will find the
          evidence of our cruelty, in the
          disembowed, dismembered, and
          disfigured bodies of their brothers
          we leave behind us. And the German
          will not be able to help themselves
          from imagining the cruelty their
          brothers endured at our hands, and
          our boot heels, and the edge of our
          knives.
          And the Germans, will be sickened by us.
          And the Germans, will talk about us.
          And the Germans, will fear us.
          And when the Germans close their eyes
          at night, and their sub conscious
          tortures them for the evil they've done,
          it will be with thoughts of us,
          that it tortures them with.
          He stops pacing, and looks at everybody.

          LT. ALDO
          Sound good?
          They all say;

          ALL
          Yes, sir!

          LT.ALDO
          That's what I like to hear. But I
          got a word of warning to all would-be
          warriors. When you join my command,
          you take on debit. A debit you owe
          me, personally. Every man under my
          command, owes me, one hundred nazi scalps.
          And I want my scalps.
          And all y'all will git me, one hundred
          Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of
          one hundred dead Nazi's...
          .or you will die trying.

          CUT TO

          EXT - MOUNTAIN TOP CHALET- DAY
          A huge Chalet on a misty mountain top in Barvia.

          

          

          

          

          ZO

          A SUBTITLE APPEARS:

          "BARVIA

          BURSTICH GARDEN

          (HITLERS PRIVATE LAIR)"

          INT - BURSTICH GARDEN - DAY
          In a huge room, ADOLPH HITLER, pounds on a big table with
          his fist, as he rants at TWO GERMAN GENERALS.
          They speak GERMAN SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          HITLER
          How much more of these jew swine
          must I endure? They butcher my men
          like they were fish bait! This pack
          of filthy degenerates, are doing what
          the Russian army didn't, and Patton's
          army couldn't. Turning soldiers of
          The Third Reich, into superstitious
          old women!

          GERMAN GENERAL
          Just the cowards among them mine
          Fuhrer.
          Hitler pounds furiously on the desk with his fist.

          HITLER
          No, no, no, no, no, no! I have heard
          the rumors myself! Solders of The Third
          Reich, who have brought the world to
          there knee`s, now pecking and clucking
          like chickens. Do you know the latest
          rumor they've conjured up, in their fear
          induced delirium? The one that beats
          my boys with a bat. The one they call
          "The Bear Jew"...is a Golem.
          A avenging jew angel, conjured up by
          a vengeful rabbi, to smite the Aryans!

          GENERAL
          Mine Fuhrer, this is just soldiers
          gossip, no one really believes The
          Bear Jew is a golem.

          HITLER
          Why not? They seem to be able to elude
          capture like a aberration.
          They seem to be able to appear and
          disappear at will.

          

          

          

          

          Z}.

          HITLER

          (CON'T)
          You want to prove their flesh and
          blood? Then BRING THEM TO ME!
          I will hang them naked, by their
          heels, from the eiffel tower!
          And then throw their bodies in
          the sewers, for the rats of Paris
          to feast!
          The Fuhrer sits down at the table to compose himself, and
          wipe his greasy black hair out of his face.

          HITLER

          (DISGUSTED)
          The Bear Jew.
          He hits the button on the intercom on his desk.

          HITLER

          KLIEST1
          KLIEST VOICE comes out of the intercom;

          KLIEST'S VOICE(OS)
          Year mine Fuhrer.

          HITLER
          I have a order I want relayed to all
          German soldiers stationed in France.
          The Jew degenerate known as The Bear
          Jew, hence forth, is never to be
          referred to as The Bear Jew again.
          We will cease to aid the Americans
          any longer in there attempt to
          undermine the German soldier psyche.
          Did you get that Kliest?

          KLIEST'S VOICE(OS)
          Yes mine Fubrer. Do you still wish
          to see Private Butz?

          HITLER
          Who and what is a private Butz?

          KELIST'S VOICE(OS)
          He's the soldier you wanted to see
          personally. His squad was ambushed
          by Lt.Raines Jews. He was it's only
          survivor.

          HITLER
          Indeed I do want to see him, thank
          you for reminding me. Send him in.

          

          

          

          

          CUT TO

          0

          EXT - FRENCH WOODS -- DAY

          CU FACE OF DEAD GERMAN SOLDIER
          His head lies on the ground horizontal. A HAND reaches into
          FRAME, KNOCKS aside the dead German patriots helmet, and
          grabs a handful of the cadavers blonde hair. A LARGE KNIFE
          ENTERS FRAME, and begins SLICING ALONG THE HAIRLINE.
          This process is called SCALPING.
          After SLICING is complete, the SCALP easily peels off like a
          banana.

          GERMAN PRISONERS PVT.BUTZ AND SGT.RACHTMAN
          on their knees, hands behind there heads.
          Private Butz NARRATES the scene in GERMAN SUBTITLED into

          ENGLISH;

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          Werner and I were the only ones left
          alive after the ambush. While one man
          guarded us, the rest removed the hair.
          All The Basterds wore German scalps
          tied to their belts.

          CU SCALPS
          hanging from belts.

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          They not only took valuables...

          WE SEE QUICK CUTS OF
          Rings, Weapons, Iron Cross, and somebody digging out a Gold
          Tooth with a knife, being removed from Dead Germans.

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          ..They also took their identification
          papers.

          CU IDENTIFICATION PAPERS
          taken from the inside pocket of a dead German uniform.

          BASTERD PFC.UTIVICH
          flips through the I.D. papers till he gets to the page that
          contains the German soldiers, name, statistics, and photo.

          PFC.UTIVICH
          Sigfried Muller.

          

          

          

          
          t3.

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          .and tore out the identification page.
          Utivich RIPS the page out, and sticks it in his pocket.
          Tossing the torn book on the dead, scalpless body.

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          ...They then removed their boots...

          CU GERMAN COMBAT BOOTS
          laces untied.. .boot pulled off...

          SOCKS
          removed, reveling dead bare feet...

          BASTERDS
          tossing the boots off a hill.

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          Throwing them away from the bodies...

          DEAD GERMANS
          scalps removed from their heads, pink bare feet...

          PVT.BUTZ(VO)
          The Basterds, took their lives, their
          hair, their valuables, their identity,
          and finally their dignity in death.
          True that. The sight of the dead soldiers with bare feet
          does rob the tableaux of a certain dignity, that is normally
          felt in battlefield shots.

          BACK TO HITLER

          HITLER
          The dogsl
          He fights his frustration, then...

          HITLER
          Continue.

          BACK TO THE BASTERDS
          Aldo screams to The Basterd who's guarding the two German
          prisoners.

          LT.ALDO
          Hey Hirschberg, send that kraut
          sarge over.

          BASTERD PFC.HIRSCHBERG
          KICKS Sgt.Rachtman in the back.

          

          

          

          
          zw.

          PFC.HIRSCHBERG
          You! Go!
          Sgt.Rachtman is a little slow to respond. So Hirschberg
          grabs him by the hair, YANKS him to his feet, and KICKS him
          in the ass, sending him on his way.
          Most of The Bastreds sit in a circle, Indian style, with
          Aldo in the middle.
          As Sgt.Rachtman walks towards this circle of Basterds,
          A OFF SCREEN LITERARY NARRATOR (not Pvt.Butz) speaks over
          the SOUNDTRACK in ENGLISH;

          NARRATOR(VO)
          Sgt.Werner Rachtman has seen many
          interrogations since Germany decided
          it should rule Europe. But this is
          the first time he's ever been on the
          wrong end of the exchange.
          It's always been his belief, only a
          weakling, in mind, body, and spirt
          complies with the enemy under threat
          of consequence.
          As Werner watched men cry like women,
          pleadingly offer their knowledge, in
          exchange for their worthless lives,
          he made a vow to himself.
          If his role is to die in this conflict.
          When they put him under the earth, his
          dignity would be buried with him.
          For in the other world, the gods only
          respect the ones they test first.
          Well Sgt, this is your test.
          And the gods are watching.
          The captured German Sgt, enters the circle of Basterds,
          stands straight before the sitting southern Lieutenant, and
          salutes his captor.

          SGT.RACHTMAN

          (ENGLISH)
          Sgt.Werner Rachtman.
          Aldo returns the salute, looking up at him.

          LT.ALDO
          Lt.Aldo Raine, pleased to meet cha.
          You know what sit down means Werner?

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          Yes.

          LT.ALDO
          Then sit down.

          

          

          

          

          2.5.
          The German Sgt does.

          LT.ALDO
          Hows your English Werner? Cause if
          need be, we gotta a couple fellas
          can translate.
          Aldo points at one of The Basterds in the circle,

          CPL.WILHELM WICKI.

          LT.ALDO
          Wicki there, a Austrian Jew, got the
          fuck outta Saltzberg, while the
          gettin was good. Became American,
          got drafted, and came back to give
          y'all what for.
          Then Aldo points to another Basterd. A big scary looking
          Basterd, in a German Sgt's uniform, named, SGT.HUGO STIGLITZ

          LT.ALDO
          And another one over there, you
          might be familiar with, Sgt.Hugo
          Stiglitz. Heard of 'em.
          The two German Sgt's look at each other.

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          Everybody in the German army's heard
          of Hugo Stiglitz.
          The Basterds laugh, a couple pat Hugo on the back.
          The NARRATOR comes back on the SOUNDTRACK.

          NARRATOR(VO)
          The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's
          celebrity among German soldiers
          is simple.
          WE SEE A PHOTO OF HUGO on the front page of the Nazi version
          of Stars and Stripes (the military newspaper).

          NARRATOR(VO)
          As a German enlisted man, he killed
          thirteen Gestapo officers, mostly
          Majors.

          WE SEE THE MILITARY PHOTOS OF ALL THIRTEEN GESTAPO OFFICERS.

          

          

          

          

          ZC.

          NARRATOR(VO)
          Instead of putting him up against a
          wall, the High Command decided to
          send him back to Berlin, to be made
          a example of.
          Hugo in chains, being put in a lone troop truck, part of a
          prison convoy, enroute to Berlin.

          NARRATOR(VO)
          Needless to say, once The Basterds
          heard about him, he never got there.

          EXT- FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
          The Basterds AMBUSH the prison convoy, killing everybody.
          They walk to the back of the troop truck, inside Hugo in
          chains, stares back at them.

          LT.ALDO
          Sgt.Hugo Stiglitz?
          Hugo nods.

          LT. ALDO
          I'm Lt.Aldo Raine, and these are
          The Basterds. Ever heard of us?
          Hugo nods his head, yes.

          LT.ALDO
          We just wanna say, we're a big fan
          of your work. When it comes to killin
          Nazi's, I think you show great talent,
          and I pride myself on havin a eye for
          that kind of talent. But your status
          as a Nazi killer, is still amateur.
          We all came here to see, if you wanna go pro?

          BACK TO THEBASTERD CIRCLE.

          LT.ALDO
          Now Werner, I'm gonna assume you know
          who we are?

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          Aldo the Apache.
          The circle of Basterds giggle.

          

          

          

          

          Z7.

          LT.ALDO
          Well Werner, if you heard of us, you
          probably heard, we ain't in the
          prisoner takin business. We in the
          killin Nazi business. And cousin,
          business is boomin.
          The Basterds laugh.

          LT. ALDO
          Now that leaves two ways we can play
          this out. Either kill ya, or let ya
          go. Now weather or not you gonna
          leave this circle alive, depends
          entirely on you.
          Aldo takes out a map of the area, and lays it out in front
          of his prisoner.

          LT.ALDO
          Up the road a piece, there's a
          orchard. 'sides you, we know there's
          another kraut patrol fuckin around
          here somewhere. Now if that patrol
          were to have any crackshots, that
          orchard, would be a goddamn snipers
          delight. Now if you ever wanna eat
          a sauerkraut sandwich again, you
          gotta show me on this map, where
          they are, you gotta tell me how many
          they are, and you gotta tell me,
          what kinda artillery they carrying
          with 'em?

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          You can't expect me to divulge
          information that would put German
          lives in danger?

          LT.ALDO
          well, Werner that's where your wrong.
          Because that's exactly what I expect.
          I need to know about Germans hidin
          in trees? And you need to tell me?
          And you need to tell me, right now?
          Now take your finger, and point out
          on this map, where this partys bein
          held, how manys comin, and what they
          brought to play with?
          Werner site, head held high, back straight, chin up, every
          inch the German hero facing death.

          

          

          

          

          2S.

          SGT.WERNER
          F I respectfully refuse, sir.
          Aldo jerks his thumb behind him.

          LT.ALDO
          You see that ole boy battin rocks?
          WE RACK FOCUS to a one of The Basterds not in the circle.
          He's wearing a wife beater, and power hitting stones
          with a baseball bat.
          Werners eyes go to the ballplayer.

          LT.ALDO
          That's Sgt.Donny Donowitz. But you
          might know him better by his nickname,
          The Bear Jew. Now if you heard of
          Aldo the Apache, you gotta heard about
          The Bear Jew?

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          I heard.

          LT.ALDO
          What did you hear?

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          He beats German soldiers with a club.

          LT.ALDO
          He bashes their brains in with a
          baseball bat, what he does.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          back to us, still haven't seen his face. He Babe Ruths a
          rock soaring into the atmosphere.

          LT. ALDO
          Now Werner, I'm gonna ask you one
          last-goddamn-time, and if you still,
          "respectfully refuse", I'm callin The
          Bear Jew over here, and he's gonna take
          that big bat of his, and he's gonna
          beat your ass to death with it.
          Now take your wennersitnitzel lickin
          finger, and point out on this map
          what I want to know.

          SGT.RACHTMAN
          Fuck you and your jew dogs.

          

          

          

          
          t v.
           Instead of getting mad, The Basterds burst out LAUGHING.
          I k
          Aldo says to Werner, with a giggle in his voice;

          LT.ALDO
          Actually Werner, we're all tickled
          ya said that. Frankly, watchin Donny
          beat Nazi's,to death, is the closest
          we ever get to goin to the movies.

          (YELLING)

          DONNY!

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          he turns to CAMERA, and yells;

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Yeah?

          LT.ALDO
          Got a German here wants to die for
          country. Oblige him.

          SGT.DONNY DONOWITZ
          Bat over his shoulder, smiles.

          CUT TO

          INT - BARBER SHOP(BOSTIN) - DAY
          Donny, cutting heads, in his pop's barber shop, in Bostin.

          DONNY
          .ya got the goddamn fuckin Germans,
          declaring open season on Jews in
          Europe, and I'm suppose to fly to the
          fuckin Philippines, and fight a bunch
          of fuckin Japs - not me pal.
          If we just go in this against the Japs,
          the whole U.S.of fuckin A can go take a
          running jump at the moon.

          HEAD
          You know they got a word for what your
          sayin Donny, it's called treason.

          DONNY
          Hey, stick your treason up your poop
          hole. If I'm gonna kill my fellow man
          in the name of liberty, that fellow
          man, will be German.

          

          

          

          

          3401

          INT - SPORTING GOODS STORE- DAY
          MR.GOOROWITZ'S sporting goods shop in Donny's Jewish Bostin
          neighbourhood. Donny walks in.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          Hello Donny, how are you?

          DONNY
          Ah, just dandy, Mr.Goorowitz.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          Your mother, your father - everything
          good there?

          DONNY
          There just fine. I'm shippin off next
          week.
          The store proprietor, extends his hand to the young man.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          Good for you son. Kill one of those
          Nazi basterds for me, will ya?

          DONNY
          That's the idea, Mr.Goorowitz.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          What can I do you for, Donny?

          DONNY
          I need a baseball bat.
          The store owner leads him to a basket with eight bats init.
          Donny starts going through them without saying anything.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          You gettin your little brother a
          present before you ship out?
          Donny, concentrating on the bats, not looking up;

          DONNY
          No.
          Donny's "no", silences the gabby Goorowitz. He seems to
          settle on one, feeling it's weight in his hands.

          DONNY
          Can I try this one on for size, outside?

          

          

          

          

          31.
          Extending his arm;

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          Be my guest.
          The phone rings.

          MR.GOOROWITZ
          I'll get that, you go right ahead.
          The proprietor answers the phone, and gets into a
          conversation with his OFF SCREEN Mother.
          Donny walks outside, WE STAY IN STORE, but can see him
          clearly through the stores big picture window.
          However, Mr.Goorowitz instinctively, turns his back to Donny
          to speak with his mother.
          Donny starts swinging the bat. It's pretty obvious he's
          pantomiming beating somebody to death with it. Then the
          he starts yelling;

          DONNY
          Take that ya Nazi basterd! You like fuckin
          with the Jews? Wanna Fuck with the Jews?
          The American jews are gonna FUCK with
          you... ..!
          Mr.Goorowitz, see's none of this, as he speaks to his
          mother. He hangs up the phone, just as Donny walks back into
          the store. Store owner turns to store customer.

          DONNY
          Is this the heaviest ya got?

          CUT TO

          INT - HALLWAY APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
          Donny, dressed nice, in a apartment building in his Jewish
          Bastin neighbourhood. He knocks on a door.
          A VERY OLD JEWISH WOMAN opens the door, only a little,
          peering out at the young man.

          OLD WOMAN
          How can I help you?

          DONNY
          Mrs.Himmelstein?

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          State your business young man.

          

          

          

          

          3Z..

          DONNY
          Mrs.Himmelstein, I'm Donny Donowitz,
          my father Sy Donowitz, owns the barber
          shop on Greeny Ave, "Sy's Barber Shop".

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          I've seen it. Do you live in the
          neighbourhood?

          DONNY
          All my life.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          Again, state your business?

          DONNY
          May I have a word with you?

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          What about?

          DONNY
          Our people in Europe.
          She thinks for a beat, then holds the door open for the
          young man.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          Come in. Would you like some tea?

          INT - MRS.HIMMELSTEIN'S APARTMENT - DAY
          Donny sits on a overstuffed sofa, holding a tea cup and
          saucer in his hand. Mrs.Himmelstein sits on a overstuffed
          chair, holding her tea, looking across at her visitor.

          DONNY
          (Sipping tea)
          Very good.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          If you like tea.
          Donny chuckles at her little joke. The old woman remains
          stone. She wasn't joking. He places his saucer on the coffee
          table and begins;

          DONNY
          Mrs.Himmelstein, do you have any love
          ones over in Europe who your concerned
          for?

          

          

          

          

          33.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          What compels you young man, to ask a
          stranger such a personal question?

          DONNY
          Because I'm going to Europe. And I'm
          gonna make it right.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          And just how do intend to do that, Joshua?

          DONNY

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          And what exactly do you intend to do
          with that toy?

          DONNY
          I'm gonna beat every Nazi I find to
          death with it.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          I thought we were having tea together?

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          And in this pursuit, how is it that I
          can be of service?

          DONNY
          I'm going through the neighbourhood.
          If you have any love ones in Europe,
          who's safety you fear for, I'd like
          you to write their name on my bat.

          BACK TO BASTERDS
          Donny takes a long walk to Werner...
          As WE CUT BACK and FORTH BETWEEN DONNY WALKING and WERNER
          WAITING, WE ALSO CUT BACK and FORTE BETWEEN DONNY and

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN...

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          You must be a real BASTERD, Donny?

          

          

          

          

          DONNY
          You bet your sweet ass I am.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          Good. A Basterds work is never done.
          Specially in Germany.
          Donny steps up to the plate, looking down at the Nazi;

          DONNY
          Gimmie your papers.
          Werner hands Donny up his papers.
          Donny RIPS the identity page out, and sticks it in his
          pocket.

          MRS.HIMMELSTEIN
          Hand me your sword Gideon. I do believe
          I will join you on this journey.

          INSERT
          she signs the BAT, "MADELEINE"

          BACK TO BASTERDS
          Donny BEATS Werner TO DEATH WITH THE BAT, to the cheers of
          The Basterds.

          PVT.BUTZ
          watches. Hirschberg says to him;

          PFC.HIRSCHBERG
          About now, I'd be shittin my pants, if
          I was you.
          Aldo points a finger at Butzsr and crooks it toward him.

          PFC.HIRSCHBERG
          That means you, cup cake.
          A crying, visibly shaken, Butz site down in front of Aldo.

          LT.ALDO
          You wanna live?

          PVT.BUTZ
          Yes, sir.

          LT.ALDO
          Point out on this map, the German
          position.
          His arm shoots out like a rocket, and points out the
          positions.

          

          

          

          
          3 s.

          PVT.BUTZ
          This area here.

          LT.ALDO
          How many?

          PVT.BUTZ
          Maybe twelve.

          LT.ALDO
          What kinda of artillery?

          PVT.BUTZ
          They have a machine gunn dug in here
          pointing north.

          HITLER
          How did you survived this ordel?
          WE SEE Pvt.Butz in The Fuhrer's room for the first time.
          He wears a Nazi cap, which is unusual in the presence of The
          Fuhrer, but he seems okay with it.

          PRVT.BUTZ
          They let me go.

          FROM HERE ON WE GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALDO AND HITLER.

          LT.ALDO
          Now when you report what happened here,
          you can't tell 'em, you told us, what you
          told us. They'll shoot ya. But there gonna
          wanna know, why you so special, we let you
          live? So tell 'em, we let ya live, so you
          could spread the word through the ranks,
          what's gonna happen to every Nazi we find.

          HITLER
          You are not to tell anybody anything!
          Not one word of detail! Your outfit
          was ambushed, and you got a away.
          Not one word more.

          PVT.BUTZ
          Yes mine Fuhrer.

          HITLER
          Did they mark you like they did the
          other survivors?

          

          

          

          

          36₢

          PVT.BUTZ
          Yes mine Fuhrer.

          HITLER
          Remove your hat and show me.

          LT.ALDO
          Now say we let ya go, and say you
          survive the'war? When you get back
          home, what'eha gonna do?

          PVT.BUTZ
          I will hug my mother like I've never
          hugged her before.

          LT.ALDO
          Well, ain't that's a real nice boy. Are you
          going to take off your uniform?

          PVT.BUTZ
          Not only shall I remove it, but I intend
          to burn it!
          The young German is telling Aldo, what he thinks, Aldo wants
          to hear. But the last answer didn't go down as well as he
          thought it would, evident by the frown on Aldo's face.

          LT. ALDO
          Yeah, that's what we thought. We don't
          like that. You see, we like our Nazi's
          in uniforms. That way, you can spot 'em,
          just like that.
          (Snaps his fingers)
          But you take off that uniform, ain't
          nobody gonna know you was a Nazi.
          And that don't sit well with us.
          Aldo removes a LARGE KNIFE from a sheath on his belt.

          LT.ALDO
          So I'm gonna give ya a little somethin,
          you can't take off.

          BACK TO HITLER
          Pvt.Butz removes his combat helmet, hair hangs in his face,
          his moves it aside, and WE SEE a SWASTIKA has been HAND

          CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD.

          BACK TO BASTERDS

          BUTZ'S POV:
          on ground, looking up at them. Aldo has just carved the
          swastika, and he's holding the bloody knife. All The
          Basterds crowd around to admire his handy work.

          

          

          

          

          37.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          You know Lieutenant, your getting pretty
          good at that.

          LT. ALDO
          You know how you get to Carnegie Hall,
          don't 'ch? Practice.

          FADE TO BLACK

          OVER BLACK

          CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:

          CHAPTER THREE

          "GERMAN NIGHT IN PARIS"
          NOTE: This whole Chapter will be filmed in French New Wave
          Black and White.

          INT - CINEMA AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
          We're in the auditorium of a cinema in Paris. However the
          CAMERA is pointed in the direction of the audience, not the
          screen. We start CLOSE on the projector beam, emanating from
          the little glass window in the back of the theatre
          The CAMERA continues to DOLLY back, making the Shot Wider and
          Wider, bringing in more and more the German occupied citizens
          of Paris, who stare at the OFF SCREEN silver screen in the dark
          We can hear the OFF SCREEN SOUNDTRACK of a Goebbels produced
          German omm paw paw musical movie being projected.
          The Shot continues to pull further and further back, and the
          German dialogue continues to fill the auditorium...

          TILL...
          .The DOLLY SHOT LANDS on a CLOSE UP of Shosanna,. watching the
          movie.

          A SUBTITLE APPEARS:

          "1941

          PARIS

          TWO WEEKS AFTER THE MASSACRE

          OF SHOSANNA'S FAMILY"
          We hear the sound of the German musicals climax.
          The lights go up in the auditorium.
          Shosanna, dressed in a NURSES UNIFORM she swiped from
          somewhere, remains seated, as the rest of the PATRONS, gather
          their coats, and file out.

          

          

          

          

          3P.

          EXT - LITTLE CINEMA (PARIS)- NIGHT
          Patrons exit under the cinema marquee, as someone from inside
          SHUTS OFF the marquees lights.
          The MARQUEE READS in French:
          "GERMAN NIGHT BRIDGET VON HAMMERSMARK in MADCAP IN MEXICO".

          EXT - PROJECTION BOOTH (LITTLE CINEMA)
          A French Black Man, who we will learn later is named MARCEL,
          is the cinema's projectionist. We see him for a moment, taking
          the film reels off the projector, and placing them on rewinds.

          INT - AUDITORIUM

          CU SHOSANNA
          still sitting in her seat. Except for her, the auditorium is
          empty.
          The owner of the Cinema, a attractive looking French woman,
          who we will later know as MADAME MIMIEUX, appears in
          one of the cinema's opera box balconies.
          Looking down from her perch at the young girl, sitting in
          the empty cinema.
          The DIALOGUE will be spoken in FRENCH, and SUBTITLED into

          ENGLISH.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          So young woman, since it's beyond obvious
          we're closed for the evening. I must assume
          you want something. What can I do for you?

          SHOSANNA
          May I sleep here tonight?

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          So I gather your not a nurse?

          SHOSANNA
          No.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          But your a bright little thing, that's
          clever disguise. Where is your family?

          SHOSANNA
          Murdered.

          

          

          

          

          3 1.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          So your a war orphan?

          SHOSANNA
          We were from Nancy. The Bosch found us

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Is this a sad story?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Sad stories bore me. These days everyone
          in Paris has one. I haven't bore you
          with mine, don't bore me with yours.

          SHOSANNA
          You can run the machines?

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          What machines?
          Using her hands to pantomime the rotating film reels on a
          projector, she says;

          SHOSANNA
          The machines that show the film?

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          The projectors? Yes, I own a cinema,
          of course I can operate them.

          SHOSANNA
          I know, I saw you.

          FLASH ON:

          CU SHOSANNA
          eyes creeping up the stairway in the projection booth,
          watching...

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          expertly working the projectors...

          BACK TO SHOSANNA

          SHOSANNA
          Teach me. Teach me to run the machines,
          that show the film. It's only you and
          the negro. I know you could use some help.

          

          

          

          

          40.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          I know at least six people who've been
          put up against a wall, and machine
          gunned for sheltering enemies of the
          state. I have no intention of being
          unlucky number seven. How long have
          you been in Paris?

          SHOSANNA
          A week, and a few days.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          How have you survived the curfew
          without capture?

          SHOSANNA
          I sleep on rooftops.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Again, I'm forced to admit, clever
          girl. How is it?

          SHOSANNA
          Cold.

          MADAME MIMIEUX

          (LAUGHS)
          I can imagine.

          SHOSANNA
          Respectfully, no you can't.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Fair enough.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          So you can't operate a 35mm film projector,
          you want me teach you, in order to work
          here, in order to use my cinema, as a hole
          to hide in, is that correct?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Whats your name?

          SHOSANNA
          Shosanna.

          

          

          

          

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          I'm Madame Mimieux. You may call
          me Madame. This is a cinema. Not a
          home for wayward war orphans.
          Having said that, what you say is true.
          If you were truly exceptional, I could
          find use for you. So Shosanna, are you
          truly exceptional?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui Madame.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          I will be the judge of that.

          DISSOLVE TO

          TITLE CARD:
          Which shows a lovely PENCIL SKETCH of the CITY OF PARIS,
          complete with Eiffel Tower.

          ABOVE IT READS:

          "1944

          PARIS"

          THEN...
          The CAMERA PULLS BACK, and we see we're not looking at a TITLE
          CARD at all, but a CALENDER stuck on the wall of the Little
          Cinema's Projection Booth. Before we leave it, WE SEE the
          Month is JUNE.
          ..The CAMERA finds, the THREE YEARS OLDER SHOSANNA, working
          as the PROJECTIONIST. It would appear, that Shosanna passed
          Madame Mimieux's exceptional test.
          A lyrical Morriconie-like tune PLAYS on the SOUNDTRACK, this
          will be "Shosanna's Theme".
          A Little Bell, begins RINGING, on one of the projectors,
          alerting Shosanna it's time for a REEL CHANGE.
          Shosanna stands at the projector, watching the old German film
          she's projecting, waiting for the1st REEL CHANGE MARK...

          SILVER SCREEN
          of the little cinema. On Screen LENI REFENSHTAL lies
          horizontal as a ice sickle drips on her head in the old
          German film, "The White Hell Of Piza Palu",
          The 1st REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON in the upper right
          hand corner of the FRAME...(That tells the projectionist
          to get ready).

          

          

          

          
          As the FILM REEL on the lst PROJECTOR rolls out, Shosanna
          stands ready, waiting by the 2nd PROJECTOR...

          WHEN...

          SILVER SCREEN
          the 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON in the same place(That's the
          one).

          SHOSANNA
          THROWS the lever on the 2nd PROJECTOR, switching the film from
          projector 1# to projector 2#, executing a perfect REEL CHANGE.
          As Shosanna's Theme plays on the Soundtrack, we watch viva
          MONTAGE, her go through her daily chores. Carry heavy film cans
          up the stairs, empty the rat traps, ect,ect...

          EXT - CINEMA - NIGHT
          The MARQUEE READS in French:
          "GERMAN NIGHT LENI REFENSHTAL in PABST WHITE HELL OF PIZA PALU"
          Shosanna emerges from the cinema carrying two buckets of
          LETTERS (for the marquee), and a tall ladder. Her chore here,
          obviously, is to change the show on the marquee.
          The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the Soundtrack in ENGLISH;

          NARRATOR(VO)
          To operate a cinema in Paris during
          the occupation, one had two choices.
          Ether you could show new German propaganda
          films, produced under the watchful
          eye of Joseph Goebbels. Or... .you
          could have a German night in your
          weekly schedule, and show allowed
          German classic films.
          Their German night was Thursday.
          Shosanna, by herself, perched up high on the ladder, changing
          the letters on the marquee.
          A YOUNG GERMAN SOLDIER(about the same age as Shosanna), walks
          out of the cinema. He sees the ladder with the young French
          girl on top, and walks over.
          They speak FRENCH, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          What starts tomorrow?
          Shosanna looks down, seeing the young German Solder smiling up
          at her from below.

          

          

          

          

          LC 3.

          SHOSANNA
          A Max Linder festival.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Ummmm, I always preferred Linder to
          Chaplin. Except Linder never made a
          film as good as "The Rid". The chase
          climax of "The Kid", superb.
          Shosanna continues working, not adding to the conversation.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          I suppose now you could use a "M"
          a "A" and a "X"?

          SHOSANNA
          No need, I can manage.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Don't be ridiculous, it's my pleasure.
          He hands the French damsel the letters spelling MAX.

          SHOSANNA
          Merci.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          I adore your cinema very much.

          SHOSANNA
          Merci.
          She busies herself with the marquee letters...

          GERMAN SOLDIER

          SHOSANNA

          GERMAN SOLDIER

          SHOSANNA

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          How does a young girl, such as yourself,
          own a cinema?
          Do to his uniform, and Shosanna's situation, all his efforts
          at trying to make small talk, strikes the young Jewess in
          hiding as a Gestapo interrogation.

          

          

          

          

          SHOSANNA
          My aunt left it to me.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Lucky girl.
          Shosanna makes no reply back.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Merci for hoisting a German night.

          SHOSANNA
          I don't have a choice, but your welcome.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Do you chose the German films yourself?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Then my merci stands. I love the
          Refensthal mountain films, especially,
          "Pizu Palu". It's nice to see a French
          girl who's a admirer of Refensthal.

          SHOSANNA
          "Admire", would not be the adjective
          I would use to describe my feelings
          towards Fraulein Refensthal.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          But you do admire the director. Pabst,
          don't you? That's why you included
          his name on the marquee.
          She climbs down from the ladder and faces the German
          Private.

          SHOSANNA
          I'm French. We respect directors
          in our country.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Apparently even Germans.

          SHOSANNA
          Even Germans. Merci for assistance,
          Private. Adieu.
          She turns to go back inside.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Your not finished?

          

          

          

          

          SHOSANNA
          I'll finish in the morning.
          She opens the door to go inside.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          May I ask your name?

          SHOSANNA
          You wish to see my papers?
          She hands him her excellently forged papers.
          That's obviously not what he meant, but he takes them anyway
          to read her name.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Emmanuelle Mimieux. That's a very
          pretty name.

          SHOSANNA
          Merci. Are you finished with my papers?
          He hands them back.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Mademoiselle. My name is Fredrick Zoller.
          She gives no response.

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          It's been a pleasure chatting with a
          fellow cinema lover. Sweet dreams,
          Mademoiselle.
          He gives her a little salute, and walks into the black of a
          curfew imposed night.
          She looks after him. She didn't show it, but he kinda got to
          her. After all, for any true cinema lover, it's hard to hate
          anybody who, CINEMA MON AMOUR.

          EXT - ROOFTOP CINEMA - NIGHT
          Shosanna stands on the roof of her cinema, late at night,
          lighting up a cigarette. As she takes her first big drag,
          she remembers a voice.

          FLASH ON
          MADAME MIMIEUX, the younger Shosanna, and the black
          projectionist Marcel, in the projection booth. Shosanna
          lights up a cigarette, and Madame Mimieux SLAPS her face
          HARD, knocking the cigarette out of her mouth. Marcel
          quickly STAMPS it out on the floor.

          

          

          

          
          If-7.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          if I ever see you light up a cigarette
          in my cinema again, I'll turn you into
          the Nazi's, do you understand?
          Shosanna is shocked by this statement.

          SHOSANNA
          Oui, Madame.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          And for bringing a open flame in my
          cinema, you deserve far worse then
          a Nazi jewish boxcar. With your thick
          head, what do you think the highest
          priority of a cinema manager is?
          Keeping this fucking place from burning
          down to the ground, that's what!
          In my collection, I have over 350,
          35mm, nitrate film prints, which are
          not only immensely flammable, but
          highly unstable. And should they
          catch fire, they burn three times
          faster then paper. If that happens..
          .POOF...all gone, cinema no more,
          every body burned alive. If I ever
          see you with a open flame in my cinema
          again, I won't turn you into the Nazi's
          I'll kill you myself. And the fucking
          Germans will give me a curfew pass.
          Do you understand me?

          SHOSANNA
          Out, Madame.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          Do you believe me?

          SHOSANNA
          Out, Madame.

          MADAME MIMIEUX
          You damn well better.

          BACK TO ROOF
          Shosanna exhales cigarette smoke.
          Marcel comes onto the roof.

          MARCEL
          Are you well?

          

          

          

          

          SHOSANNA
          Even on the roof I can't smoke a
          cigarette without hearing Madames
          voice yelling at me. That's why I
          do it. To hear Madames voice again.

          MARCEL
          We both miss her.

          SHOSANNA
          I know. I'm fine, darling. I'll be
          to bed soon.
          Marcel goes back inside, Shosanna smokes.

          INT - FRENCH BISTRO - AFTERNOON
          Shosanna sits in the back of a French bistro, reading a
          book, "The Saint in New York" by Leslie Charteris, drinking
          wine. When the young German Private from the other day,
          FREDRICK ZOLLER, walks in. He gets a beer, then notices the
          French girl sitting in the back. He smiles, and heads over
          to her. "Oh no, not this guy again", she thinks.
          Again they speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          FREDRICK
          May I join you?

          SHOSANNA
          Look Fredrick -

          FREDRICK

          (SMILING)
          - You remember my name?

          SHOSANNA
          Yes....Look, you seem a pleasant
          enough fellow -

          FREDRICK
          - Merci.

          SHOSANNA
          Your welcome. - regardless, I want
          you to stop pestering me.

          FREDRICK
          I apologize mademoiselle, I wasn't
          trying to be a pest. I was simply
          trying to be friendly.

          SHOSANNA
          I don't wish to be your friend.

          

          

          

          

          FREDRICK
          Why not?

          SHOSANNA
          Don't act like a infant. You know why.

          FREDRICK
          I'm more then just a uniform.

          SHOSANNA
          Not to me. If you are so desperate for
          a French girlfriend, I suggest you try
          Vichy?
          Just then TWO OTHER GERMAN SOLDIERS come over, obviously
          very impressed with Fredrick. They make a fuss over him in
          UNSUBTITLED GERMAN, which nether Shosanna, or the non German
          speaking members of the movies audience, can understand.
          He signs autographs for them, shakes their hands, and they
          go on their way.
          Shosanna's eyes narrow.

          SHOSANNA
          Who are you?

          FREDRICK
          I thought I was just a uniform?

          SHOSANNA
          Your not just a German soldier, are
          you somebodies son?

          FREDRICK
          Most German soldiers are somebodies son.

          SHOSANNA
          Yeah, but your not just somebody. What
          are you, Hitlers nephew?
          He leans in across the table, she leans in too, and he says;

          FREDRICK
          Yes.

          SHOSANNA
          Really?

          FREDRICK
          No not really, I'm just teasing you.
          She leans back annoyed.

          SHOSANNA
          Then what is it? What are you, a German
          movie star?

          

          

          

          

          6'O

          FREDRICK
          Not exactly.

          SHOSANNA
          (Pfuit), what does that mean, "not exactly".
          I asked if you were a movie star, the
          answer to that question, is yes or no.
          Fredrick laughs at that line.

          FREDRICR
          When you said that just now, you
          reminded me of my sister.
          This catches young Shosanna off guard.

          FREDRICR
          I come from a home of six sisters.
          We run a family operated cinema in Munich.
          Seeing you run around your cinema,
          reminds me of them. Especially my sister
          Helga. She raised me, when our father
          wasn't up to the job. I admire her very
          much. You'd like her, she doesn't wear a
          German uniform.

          SHOSANNA
          You were raised by Helga?

          FREDRICK
          All my sisters, I'm the baby, but Helga
          was the bossiest.

          SHOSANNA
          And your mother and father?

          FREDRICK
          My mother died. And my father was a
          loser. My fathers moto; "If at first
          you don't succeed, quit". The day he
          left, good riddance. My sisters are
          all I need. It's why I like your cinema.
          It makes me feel both closer to them,
          and a little homesick at the same time.

          SHOSANNA
          is your cinema still operatiing?

          FREDRICR
          Oui.

          SHOSANNA
          What's it called?

          

          

          

          

          5!

          FREDRICK
          The Kino Haus.

          SHOSANNA
          How has it done durring the war?

          FREDRICK
          Actually, in Germany, cinema
          attendance is up.

          SHOSANNA
          No doubt, you don't have to operate
          under a curfew.

          FREDRICK
          How often do you fill your house?

          SHOSANNA
          (Pfuit), not since before the war.

          FREDRICK
          So if you had one big engagement, that
          would help you out?

          SHOSANNA
          Of course, but that's not likely to
          happen.
          TWO MORE GERMAN SOLDIERS and their TWO FRENCH DATES approach
          the table. They ask for Fredricks autograph, he signs it for
          them. One of the French Girls says in FRENCH, how exciting
          it is to meet a real live German war hero. Shosanna hears
          it. They leave. So that's it, she thinks.

          SHOSANNA
          So your a war hero? Why didn't you tell me?

          FREDRICK
          Everybody knows that, I liked you didn't.

          SHOSANNA
          What did you do?
          He takes a sip of beer.

          FREDRICK
          I've shot the most enemy soldiers
          in world war two...so far.
          You bet your sweet ass that got her attention.

          SHOSANNA
          Wow.

          

          

          

          

          52

          FREDRICK
          I was alone in a bell tower in a
          walled off city in Russia. It was
          myself, and a thousand rounds of ammo,
          in a bird's nest, against three
          hundred Soviet soldiers.

          SHOSANNA
          What's a bird's nest?

          FREDRICK
          A bird's nest is what a sniper would call
          a bell tower. It's a high structure,
          offering a three hundred and sixty degree
          view. Very advantageous for marksmen.

          SHOSANNA
          How many Russian's did you kill?

          FREDRICK
          Sixty-eight.

          (BEAT)
          The first day. A hundred and fifty the
          second day. Thirty-two, the third day.
          On the forth day, they exited the city.
          Naturally my war story received alot of
          attention in Germany, that's why they
          all recognize me. They call me the
          German Sgt.York.

          SHOSANNA
          Maybe they'll make a film about
          your exploits.

          FREDRICK
          Well, that's just what Joseph Goebbels
          thought. So he did. It's called "Nation's
          Pride", and guess what, they wanted me to
          play myself, so I did. They have posters
          for it in kiosks all over Paris. That's
          another reason for all the attention.

          SHOSANNA
          "Nation's Pride" is about you? "Nation's
          Pride" is starring you?

          FREDRICK
          I know, comical, huh?

          SHOSANNA
          Not so comical. So what are you doing
          in Paris, enjoying a rest?

          

          

          

          

          53.

          FREDRICK
          Hardly. I've been doing publicity,
          having my picture taken with different
          German luminaries, visiting troops,
          that sort of thing. Goebbels wants the
          film to premier in Paris, so I've been
          helping them in the planning.
          Joseph is very keen on this film.
          He's telling anybody who will listen,
          when "Nation's Pride" is released,
          I'll be the German Van Johnson.
          Shosanna, wasn't falling for the young German, by any stretch.
          However his exploits, as well as his charming manner, can't
          help but impress. But his referring to Goebbels as "Joseph",
          like their friends, is all she needed to get on the right side
          of things. This young man is trouble with a capital "T", and
          she needs to stay far fucking away from him.
          She abruptly rises, and says;

          SHOSANNA
          Well, good luck with your premier
          Private. I hope all goes well for
          Joseph and yourself. Au revoir.
          And with that, she disappears. Leaving the perplexed private
          alone.

          EXT - CINEMA MARQUEE - DAY
          It's the next day.
          Shosanna and Marcel are changing the letters on the marquee.
          Marcel excuses himself to visit the toilet.
          $hosanna is alone outside the little cinema, perched up on her
          ladder.

          WHEN...
          .A BLACK NAZI SEDAN pulls up in front of the little cinema.
          A GERMAN MAJOR in a black Gestapo uniform steps out of the back
          of the sedan.
          The DRIVER, a German Private, steps out as well.
          Yelling to the young girl up high on the ladder;
          Both GERMAN and FRENCH will be SUBTITLED into ENGLISH.

          

          

          

          
          5 q.

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Mademoiselle Nimieux?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui?
          Telling his Driver in German to ask her in French;

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Ask her if this is her cinema?
          in French The Driver asks Shosanna;

          DRIVER
          is this your cinema?

          SHOSANNA

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Tell her to come down.

          DRIVER
          Come down please.
          She climbs down the ladder.
          The Driver opens the back door of the sedan, indicating for her
          to get in.

          SHOSANNA
          I don't understand, what have I done?

          DRIVER
          (to Major)
          She wants to know what she's done?

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Who says she's done anything?

          DRIVER
          Who says you've done anything?
          Then in her best imitation of Madame Mimeux's arrogantmanner.

          SHOSANNA
          Then I demand to know what this is about,
          and where do you propose to take me?
          The Driver begins to translate, when the Gestapo Major holds up his
          hand, telling him not to bother. The Major looks at the young
          French girl and tells her in German;

          

          

          

          

          55.

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Get your ass in that car.
          No translation necessary. She climbs into the back of the car,
          followed by the Germans. The sedan takes off.

          INT - SEDAN(MOVING) - DAY
          The Nazi sedan drives through the early afternoon Paris
          streets.

          WE HOLD SHOSANNA IN TIGHT CU
          the whole ride, never showing her Nazi oppressor sitting beside
          her. We just hold on her face trying not to revel anything.
          The sedan stops.
          The car door opens and the Driver offers Shosanna his hand.

          EXT/INT- MAXIUM'S (FAMOUS PARIS CAFE) - DAY
          She steps out of the car, and is lead into a Paris cafe by the
          Gestapo Officer. It takes the young Jewess a moment or two before
          she realizes she's not being led to a Gestapo interrogation
          room, a railroad car, or a concentration camp, but to lunch.
          The best table at Maxims. Three people, and two dogs, sit at it.
          Germany's Minister of Propaganda, and the number two man in
          Hitlers Third Reich, JOSEPH GOEBBELS, his female French translator
          (and mistress), FRANCESCA MONDINO, and young Private Zoller,
          are the people. TWO BLACK FRENCH POODLES, belonging to
          Mademoiselle Mondino, sit together in another chair at the
          table.
          We join them in mid-conversation;
          They all speak GERMAN, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          GOEBBELS
          - it's only the off spring of slaves that
          allows America to be competitive athletically.
          America olympic gold can measured in Negro
          sweat.
          Shosanna is lead through the French eatery by the Gestapo Major.
          Private Zoller see's her, and stands up, excuse's himself,
          and greets her before she reaches the table.
          Fredrick says in French, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

          FREDRICK
          Good you came. I wasn't sure weather or
          not you'd except my invitation.

          

          

          

          

          SHOSANNA
          Invitation?

          THEN...
          .Goebbles Voice says OFF SCREEN;

          GOEBBLES(OS)
          Is that the young lady in question,
          Fredrick?
          Private Zoller turns in his direction, takes Shosanna by the
          arm, and leads her to him.

          FREDRICK
          Yes it is, beer Goebbels. Emmanuelle,
          there is somebody I want you to meet.
          Joseph Goebbels, remaining seated, looks up at the young French
          girl, scrutinizing her as he spoons creme brule into his mouth.
          The excited Fredrick introduces Shosanna to the propaganda
          minister formally.

          FREDRICK
          Emmanuelle Mimieux, I'd like to
          introduce you to the minister of
          propaganda, the leader of the entire
          German film industry, and now I'm a
          actor, my boss, Joseph Goebbels.
          Goebbels offers up his long spider-like fingers for Shosanna to
          shake. She does.

          GOEBBELS
          Your reputation precedes you Fraulein
          Mimieux.
          He looks to Francesca to translate, but she's just taken a big
          bite of terri misu.
          They all laugh.
          Fredrick jumps in...

          FREDRICK
          And normally, this is beer Goebbels French
          interpreter, Mademoiselle Francesca
          Mondino.

          FRANCESCA
          looks up at Shosanna.

          

          

          

          

          5'?
          NARRATOR'S VOICE comes on soundtrack;

          NARRATOR (VO)
          Francesca Mondino is much more then
          Goebbels French Interpreter.
          She's also Goebbels favorite French
          actress to appear in his films...

          FLASH ON:

          FILM CLIP
          from one of Francesca's B/W Goebbels produced productions.
          Francesca, dressed as a French peasant girl, with a YOUNG

          GERMAN (MOVIE) SOLDIER.
          She speaks in FRENCH, SUBTITLED in to ENGLISH;

          FRANCESCA/PEASANT GIRL
          I love you, I can't help it. My country
          or my heart, which do I betray?
          A SUBTITLE APPEARS below naming the films title;

          "SENTIMENTAL COMBAT" (1943)

          FLASH ON
          Francesca and Goebbels having sex in her boudoir, on her red
          velvet bed.

          NARRATOR (VO)
          And Goebbels favorite French Mistress,
          to act in his bed.
          WE SEE JUST A SUPER QUICK SHOT OF Goebbels FUCKING Francesca

          DOGGY STYLE.

          FRANCESCA

          (ANIMAL-LIKE)
          Do it! Do it! Fuck me - fill me!

          BACK TO FRANCESCA
          looking at Shosanna.

          FRANCESCA
          Bon jour.

          SHOSANNA
          Bon jour.

          

          

          

          

          I
          f.

          FREDRICK
          And you've met the Major.
          The Gestapo officer steps up and says, to Fredrick in German;

          GESTAPO MAJOR
          Actually, I didn't introduce myself.
          (to Shosanna)
          Major Deiter Helistrom of the Gestapo, at
          your service mademoiselle.
          (he clicks
          his heels)
          Please allow me, have a seat.
          The Gestapo Officer pulls out a chair, for the young lady to sit
          down. Shosanna takes the hot seat. Seated to her right is
          Private Zoller. To her left are the two curly pampered
          poodles. Major Helistrom pours Shosanna a glass of red wine
          from a small craft on the table.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Try the wine mademoiselle, it's quite good.
          Goebbels looks across the table at her.

          GOEBBELS
          well I must say, you've made quite a
          impression on our boy.
          Francesca interprets Goebbels German for Shosanna.

          GOEBBELS
          I must say fraulein, I should be rather
          annoyed with you.
          Francesca interprets..

          GOEBBELS
          I arrive in France, and I wish to have
          lunch with my star...
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          Little do I know Be's become
          the toast of paris, and now he
          must find time for me.
          Francesca interprets...

          

          

          

          
          c9 •

          GOEBBELS
          People wait in line hours, day's,
          to see me. For the Fuhrer and
          Private Zoller, I wait.
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          So finally, I'm granted a audience
          with the young Private, and he spends
          the entire lunch speaking of you
          and your cinema.
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          So Fraulein Mimieux, let's get down
          to business.
          Private Zoller interrupts -

          FREDRICK
          - Heer Goebbels, I haven't informed
          her yet.

          GOEBBELS
          Unless the girls a simpleton, I'm
          sure she's figured it out by now,
          after all she does operate a cinema.
          Francesca, tell her.
          Francesca tells Shosanna in French;

          FRANCESCA
          What they're trying to tell you
          Emmanuelle, is Private Zoller has
          spent the last hour at lunch,
          trying to convince Monsieur Goebbels
          to abandon previous plans for Private
          Zollers film premier, and change the
          venue to your cinema.
          Zoller reacts.

          FRANCESCA

          (FRENCH
          to Zoller)
          What?

          FREDRICK
          I wanted to inform her.

          FRANCESCA
          Shit. I apologize Private, of
          course you did.

          

          

          

          

          60.

          GOEBBELS

          (GERMAN
          to Francesca)
          What's the issue?

          FRANCESCA
          The Private wanted to inform the
          mademoiselle himself.

          GOEBBELS
          Nonsense. Until I ask a few
          questions, he has nothing to inform.
          Let the record state, I have not
          agreed to a venue change.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Duly noted.
          Goebbels speaks German to Shosanna;

          GOEBBELS
          You have opera boxes?

          SHOSANNA

          GOEBBELS

          SHOSANNA

          GOEBBELS
          More would be better. How many
          seats in your auditorium?

          SHOSANNA
          Three hundred and fifty.

          GOEBBELS
          That's almost four hundred less
          then The Ritz.
          Fredrick jumps in...

          FREDRICK
          But beer Goebbels, that's not such
          a terrible thing. You said yourself
          you didn't want to indulge every
          two faced french bourgeois taking
          up space currying favor. With less
          seat's it makes the event more
          exclusive. Your not trying to fill
          the house, their fightin g for seats.

          

          

          

          

          61.

          FREDRICK

          (CON'T)
          Besides, to hell with the French.
          This is a German night, a German
          event, a German celebration. This
          night is for you, me, the German
          military, the high command, their
          family and friends. The only people
          who should be allowed in the room,
          are people who will be moved by
          the exploits on screen.
          Goebbels listens silently, then after a bit of a pause;

          GOEBBELS
          I see your public speaking has
          improved. It appears I've created
          a monster. A strangely persuasive
          monster. When the war's over,
          politics awaits.
          Table chuckles.

          GOEBBELS
          Well Private, though it is true,
          I'm inclined to indulge you anything.
          I must watch a film in this young
          ladies cinema before I can say,
          yes or no.
          (to Shosanna)
          So young lady, you are to close
          your cinema tonight, and have
          a private screening me.
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          What German films do you have?
          Francesca asks..

          SHOSANNA
          My cinema , on German night, tends
          to show older German classics.
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          Why not my films?
          Francesca asks...

          

          

          

          

          6Z.

          SHOSANNA
          I draw a older German audience in
          my cinema, that appreciate the
          nostalgia of the earlier time.
          Francesca interprets...

          GOEBBELS
          That's nonsense fraulein. Us Germans
          are looking forward, not backwards.
          That era of German cinema is dead.
          The German cinema I create, will not
          only be thee cinema of Europe. But
          the worlds only alternative to the
          degenerate Jewish influence of
          Hollywood.
          Fredrick Jumps in...

          FREDRICK
          Along with being a cinema owner,
          Emmanuelle is quite a formidable
          film critic.
          He chuckles, but alone.

          GOEBBELS
          WSo it would appear. Unfortunately
          for the fraulein, I've outlawed
          film criticism.
          Zoller, thinking fast, says;

          FREDRICK
          Why don't you screen "Lucky Kids"?
          I'm sure Emmanuelle hasn't seen. it.
          And it's so funny, I've been meaning
          to recommend it to her, for her
          German night. That's a great idea,
          let's watch "Lucky Kids" tonight.

          GOEBBELS
          Ahhh, "Lucky Kids", "Lucky Kids",
          "Lucky Kids". When all is said and
          done, my most purely enjoyable
          production. Not only that, I
          wouldn't be surprised, if sixty
          years from now, It's "Lucky Kids"
          that I'm the most remembered for.
          I know it doesn't seem like it now,
          but mark my words.
          Very well, I'll have a print sent
          over to the fraulein'.s cinema.
          We'll screen "Lucky Kids" tonight.

          

          

          

          

          63
          As Francesca interprets this for Shosanna...
          ...the empty chair next to the young Jewish girl is suddenly
          filled with the bottom half of a grey S.S. officer uniform.

          GOEBBELS
          Ah Landa, your here, this is the
          young lady in question.
          The S.S. Officer sits down, and it's our old friend from the
          first scene COL HANS LANDA.

          FREDRICK
          Shosanna, this4pol Hans Landa of
          the SS., he'll be running security
          for the premier.

          CU SHOSANNA
          A bomb is dropped and detonated behind her eyes. But if she
          gives any indication of this, her war story ends here.
          The S.S. OFFICER
          that murdered her family, takes her hand and kisses it,
          saying in perfect French;

          COL LANDA
          Charmed Mademoiselle.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Better known as "The Jew Hunter".
          The table laughs.

          GOEBBELS
          Oh Francesca, what was that funny
          thing the Fuhrer said about Hans?

          FRANCESCA
          What thing?

          GOEBBELS
          You know, you were there, it was a
          funny thing the Fuhrer said,
          about Hans...Something about a pig?
          Francesca's memory is jogged.

          FRANCESCA
          Oh, yes of course.
          She repeats it by whispering it in Goebbels ear.

          

          

          

          

          6 "F

          GOEBBELS
          Oh, yes of course, that's it. So
          the Fuhrer said, he wouldn't be
          surprised if Hans weren't rooting
          out Jews like a truffle pig from
          the play pen.

          FRANCESCA
          That's what we need, pigs that can
          root out Jews.

          COL LANDA
          Who needs pigs when you have me?
          Big hearty laugh around the table.

          GOEBBELS
          Do you have a engagement tonight?

          COL LANDA
          Well, as a matter of fact, I do -

          GOEBBELS
          - Break it. We're all going to the
          Fraulein's cinema tonight to view
          "Lucky Kids".

          COL LANDA
          Splendid.
          Then Reich Ministers companion mademoiselle Mondino,

          INTERRUPTS;

          FRANCESCA
          And now I must get Reich Minister Goebbels
          to his next appointment.

          GOEBBELS
          Slave driver! French slave driver!
          They all chuckle.
          Everybody begins to stand up from the table...
          ..Francesca gathers the stupid dogs...
          .as Col Landa stands, he says;

          COL LANDA
          Actually, in my role as security
          chief of this joyous German occasion,
          I'm afraid I must have a word with
          Mademoiselle Mimieux.

          

          

          

          

          C. 5.
          Mademoiselle Mimieux eyes go to Private Zoller, who responds.

          FREDRICK
          What sort of discussion?

          COL LANDA
          That sounded suspiciously like a
          Private questioning the order of a
          Colonel? Or am I just being sensitive?

          FREDRICK
          Nothing could be further from the
          truth Colonel. Your authority is
          beyond question.
          But your reputation does proceed
          you. Should Mademoiselle Mimieux
          or myself be concerned?

          GOEBBELS
          Hans, the boy means no harm, he's
          simply smitten. And he's correct.
          Your reputation does proceed you.
          Laughter all around. The Reich Minister and his axis entourage,
          make their way to front of the cafe, with the two dumb dogs on
          a leash, leading the way.

          COL LANDA
          No need for concern, you two.
          As security chief, I simply need
          to have a chat with the possible
          new venue's property owner.

          FREDRICK
          I was just hoping to escort
          Mademoiselle Mimieux back to her
          cinema.

          GOEBBELS
          Nonsense! You can eat ice cream,
          and walk along the Sienne another
          time. Right now, allow Col Landa
          to do his job.
          Everybody saystheir farewells.
          Col Landa offers the young jew in hiding a seat at a small
          table in the outside patio area of Maxims.
          The fluency and poetic proficiency of the S.S. jew hunters
          french, revels to the audience, that his feigning clumsiness at
          french with Monsieur Lapadite in the films first scene, was
          simply a interrogation-technique.

          

          

          

          
          bd.
          They speak FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          COL LANDA
          Have you tried the strudel here?

          SHOSANNA
          No.

          COL LANDA
          It's not so terrible. So how is it
          the young Private and yourself came
          to be acquainted?
          She's about to answer, when a WAITER approaches.

          COL LANDA
          Yes, two strudels, one for myself,
          and one for the mademoiselle. A cup
          of espresso, with a container of.
          steamed milk, on the side.
          For the Mademoiselle, a glass of milk.
          Considering Shosanna. grew up on a dairy farm, and the last time
          she was on a dairy farm, her strudel companion murdered her
          entire family, his ordering her milk is, to say the
          least... . disconcerting.
          The key to Col Landa's power, and or charm, depending on the
          side ones on, lies in his ability to convince you he's privy to
          your secrets.

          COL LANDA
           So Mademoiselle, you were beginning
          to explain....?

          SHOSANNA

          (ANXIOUSLY)
          Up untill a couple of days ago,
          I had no knowledge of Private Zoller,
          or his exploits. To me, the Private
          was simply just a patron of my cinema.
          We spoke a few times, but -

          COL LANDA
          - Mademoiselle, let me interrupt you.
          This is a simple formality, no
          reason for you to feel anxious.
          The Colonel takes one look at it, and says to the Waiter;

          

          

          

          

          67

          COL LANDA
          I apologize, I forgot to order the
          cream fresh.

          WAITER
          One moment.
          He exits.

          COL LANDA
          (Refuring to
          the apple pie)
          Wait for the cream.
          (Back to

          BUSINESS)
          So Emmanuelle - May I call you
          Emmanuelle?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui.

          COL LANDA
          So Emmanuelle, explain to me how
          does it happen, that a young lady
          such as your self, comes to own a
          cinema?
          The Waiter returns, applying cream fresh to the two strudels.
          The S.S. Colonel looks across the table at his companion, picking
          up his fork, he says;

          COL LANDA
          After you.
          Shosanna takes •a whip creamy bite of strudel, Landa follows her
          lead.

          COL LANDA

          (MOUTHFULL
          of pie)
          Success?
          Shosanna, mouth full of pie, indicates she approves.

          .COL LANDA
          Like I said, not so terrible.
          (Back to

          BUSINESS)
          So you were explaining the origin of
          your cinema ownership?

          

          

          

          

          69.

          SHOSANNA
          The cinema originally belonged to
          my aunt and uncle -
          Col Landa removes alittle black book from his pocket.

          COL LANDA
          - What is there names?

          SHOSANNA
          Jean-Pierre and Ada Mimieux.
          He records the names in his little book.

          COL LANDA
          Where are they now?

          SHOSANNA
          My uncle was killed during blitzkrieg.

          COL LANDA
          Pity... . Continue.

          SHOSANNA
          Aunt Ada passed away from fever
          last spring.'

          COL LANDA
          Regrettable.

          (RESPECTFUL

          PAUSE)
          It's come to my attention you have
          a negro in your employ, is that true?

          SHOSANNA
          Yes, he's a Frenchman. His name is
          Marcel. He worked with my aunt and
          uncle since they opened the cinema.
          He's the only other one who works
          with me.

          COL LANDA
          Doing what?

          SHOSANNA
          Projectionist.

          COL LANDA
          Is he any good?

          SHOSANNA
          The best.

          

          

          

          

          61.

          COL LANDA
          Actually one could see where that
          might be a good trade for them.
          Can you operate the projectors?

          SHOSANNA
          Of course I can.

          COL LANDA
          Knowing the Reich Minister as I do,
          I'm quite positive he wouldn't want
          the success or failure of his
          illustrious evening, dependent on
          the prowess of a negro. So if it
          comes to pass we hold this event
          at your venue, talented no doubt,
          as your negro may be, you will
          operate the projectors. Is that
          exceptable?
          As if she has any say.

          SHOSANNA
          Oui.
          Col Landa takes another bite of strudel, Shosanna follows suit.

          COL LANDA
          So it would appear our young hero is
          quite smitten with you?

          SHOSANNA
          Private Zollers feelings for me
          aren't of a romantic nature.

          COL LANDA
          Mademoiselle...?

          SHOSANNA
          Colonel, his feelings are not
          romantic. I remind him of his sister.

          COL LANDA
          That doesn't mean his feelings
          aren't romantic.

          SHOSANNA
          I remind him of his sister who
          raised him.

          

          

          

          

          70

          COL LANDA
          It's sounding more and more romantic
          by the minute.
          Landa takes out a handsome looking cigarette case, with a S.S.
          LOGO on it. Removing on of the fags, he lights it up with a
          fancy S.S. gold lighter. He offers one to Shosanna.

          COL LANDA
          Cigarette?

          SHOSANNA
          No thank you.

          COL LANDA
          Do you smoke?

          SHOSANNA
          Yes.

          COL LANDA
          Then I insist, you must take one.
          There not French, there German.
          I hope your not nationalist about
          your tobacco, to me French cigarettes
          are a sin against nicotine.
          She takes one, but makes no move to light it.
          He inhales deep, and says;

          COL LANDA
          I did have some thing else I wanted
          to ask you, but right now, for the
          life of me, I can't remember what it
          is. Oh well, must not of been important.
          Col Landa stands up, throws some French francs on the table,
          puts on his grey S.S. cap, touches his finger to his visor,
          saluting Shosanna, and saying:

          COL LANDA
          Till tonight.
          And with that he's gone.
          Shosanna breaths a sigh of relief.
          The CAMERA begins to slowly lower from a MEDIUM CU to her feet
          ankles and floor. We see her shoes are in a puddle of urine.
          During her conversation and strudel with the man that
          exterminated her entire family, shosanna pissed herself.
          She drops the German cigarette in to the piss puddle by her
          feet.

          

          

          

          

          7 1.

          INT - CINEMA AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
          The SILVER SCREEN
          on screen is the German screwball comedy "LUCKY KIDS".
          We hear OFF SCREEN laughter at the on screen aryan antics.

          CU GOEBBELS
          Watching the screen, basking in his own toxic genius.

          CU FRANCESCA
          Laughing at the comedy, hand covering her mouth.

          CU TWO BLACK POODLES
          Pantingly watching the screen.

          CU MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Smiling, smoking a French cigarette.

          CU COL LANDA
          Smoking his calabash, amused.

          CU FREDRICK ZOLLER
          Truly enjoying himself.

          CU SHOSANNA
          watching the screen.
          The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack.

          NARRATOR (VO)
          While Shosanna sits there pretending
          to be amused by the aryan antics of
          Goebbels Frank Capra copy, "Lucky
          Kids", a thought suddenly comes to
          her.
          We see her face get slightly distracted behind the eyes.

          NARRATOR (VO)
          What if tonight, accidently, the
          cinema burned down? The Third Reich
          would lose it's Minister of
          propaganda, it's national hero, and
          it's top jew hunter, all in one fell
          swoop.
          She chuckles at the thought, though it looks like she's
          laughing at the German comedy.

          SILVER SCREEN
          "The END" card for "Lucky Kids" is projected.
          The Nazi rouges gallery, and Shosanna, applaud the film.

          

          

          

          

          IZ
          The lights go up.

          P
          Goebbels excepts congratulations, as they stand and begin to
          file out into the lobby.

          NARRATOR(VO)
          The screening of "Lucky Kids" was a
          complete success. And Heer Goebbels
          conceded to have the venue changed
          to Shosannas cinema. Not only that,
          in a moment of inspiration, Heer
          Goebbels had a idea.
          Goebbels speaks GERMAN, and Francesca translates;

          GOEBBELS
          I must say, I appreciate the modesty
          of this auditorium. Your Cinema
          has real respect, almost church like.
          Not to say we couldn't spruce the
          place up a bit. In Versailles
          there's a crystal chandelier hanging
          in the banquet hall that is
          extraordinary. we're going to get it,
          and hang it from the very middle of
          auditorium roof. Also I want to go to
          Louvre, pick up a few Greek nudes,
          and just scatter them about the lobby.

          MONTAGE
          we see a quick series of shots that show all that happening.
          The chandelier being removed from the ceiling of Versailles.
          Greek nude statues being hand trucked out of the Louvre.
          A truck driving through the french countryside with the
          enormous crystal chandelier in the back.
          The lobby of Shosanna's cinema, pimped out in Nazi iconography.
          WORKERS buzz around decorating. The Greek statues are moved
          into place.
          We see Workers trying with incredible difficulty, to hoist the
          huge, heavy, and twinkingly fragile chandelier, in Shosannas
          auditorium, which now resembles something out of one of Tinto
          Brass's Italian B-movie rip off's of Visconti's "The Damned".

          SHOSANNA
          watches all this from a opera box, she shakes her head in
          disbelief.

          

          

          

          

          73

          BACK TO SHOSANNA AND THE NAZI "S
          in the lobby, post screening of "Lucky Rids", she's soundlessly
          escorting them to the door, as they make their goodbyes.

          NARRATOR (VO)
          As they left the little French
          cinema that night, all the Germans
          were very happy...
          We see Private Zoller hanging back, so he.can say goodbye.

          NARRATOR (VO)
          None more so then Private Zoller.
          She closes the door on him. Watching the Nazi's walk into the
          Paris night. Their shadows, for a moment onAwall, look
          like grotesque Nazi charcthers. 4644
          The Nazi's are gone.
          Marcel sits at the top of the staircase of the lobby, looking
          down at Shosanna.
          They speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          MARCEL
          What the fuck are we suppose to do?

          SHOSANNA
          It looks like we're suppose to have
          a Nazi premier.

          MARCEL
          Like I said, what the fuck are we
          suppose to do?

          SHOSANNA
          Well, I need to speak with you
          about that.

          MARCEL
          About what?

          SHOSANNA
          About these Hun swine, commandeering
          our cinema.

          MARCEL
          What about it?
          She slowly walks up the stairs to Marcel. She makes him part
          his legs, and sits on the lower step, between his legs. Her
          back up against his chest, his arms around her shoulders.
          Shosanna has only known this type of intimacy with Marcel.

          

          

          

          

          SHOSANNA
          Well, when I was watching the bosch
          (Said in

          ENGLISH)
          Capra-corn abomination,
          (Back to

          FRENCH)
          I got a idea.

          MARCEL
          I'm confused, what are we talking
          about?

          SHOSANNA
          Filling the cinema with Nazi's and
          their whores, and burning it down
          to the ground.

          MARCEL
          I'm not talking about that, your
          talking about that.

          SHOSANNA
          No, we're talking about that,
          right now. If we can keep this
          place from burning down by
          ourselves, we can burn it down
          by ourselves.

          MARCEL
          Shosanna -

          SHOSANNA
          No, Marcel, just for sake of argument,
          if we wanted to burn down the cinema,
          for any number of reasons, you and I
          could physically accomplish that, no?

          MARCEL
          Oui Shosanna, we could do that.

          SHOSANNA
          And with Madame Mimieux's 350 nitrate
          film print collection, we wouldn't
          even need explosives, would we?

          MARCEL
          You mean we wouldn't need any more
          explosives?

          SHOSANNA
          Oui, that's exactly what I mean.
          She begins kissing his hands.

          

          

          

          

          75.

          SHOSANNA

          (CON'T)
          I am going to burn down the cinema
          on Nazi night.
          One of his fingers probes her mouth.

          SHOSANNA

          (CON'T)
          And if I'm going to burn down the
          cinema, which I am, we both know,
          your not going to let me do it
          by myself.
          The back of her head presses up hard against him, as his hand
          both caresses, and grips her lovely neck.

          SHOSANNA

          (CON'T)
          Because you love me. And I love you.
          And your the only person on this earth
          I can trust.
          She then TWISTS around, so she's straddling him. They are now,
          face to face.

          SHOSANNA

          (CON'T)
          But that's not all we're going to do.
          Does the filmmaking equipment it the
          attic still work? I know the film
          camera does. How about the sound
          recorder?

          MARCEL
          Quite well, actually. I recorded a
          new guitarist I met in a cafe last
          week. It works superb. Why do we
          need filmmaking equipment?

          SHOSANNA
          Because Marcel, my sweet, we're
          going to make a film. Just for the
          Nazi's.

          FADE TO BLACK

          

          

          

          

          ?G.

          FADE OFF

          INT - ENGLISH COUNTRY ESTATE - DAY
          A young MILITARY ATTACHE, opens the sliding double doors
          that serve as a entrance to the room.

          MILITARY ATTACHE
          Right this way, Lieutenant.
          A snappy handsome British Lieutenant in dress browns, steps inside
          the room. This officer, who has been mixing it up with
          the Gerrys since the late thirties, is named LT.ARCHIE HICOX.
          A young George Sanders type(The Saint and Private affairs of
          Bel Ami, years).
          Upon entering the room, Lt.Hicox is gobsmacked.
          Standing before him is legendary military mastermind,
          GENERAL ED FENECH, a older George Sanders type (Village of the
          Dammed).
          But in the back of the room, sitting behind a piano,
          smoking his ever present cigar, is the unmistakable
          bulk of WINSTON CHURCHELL.

          LT. HICOX
          Lt. Archie Hicox, reporting sir.

          GEN FENECH
          (Salutes back)
          General Ed Fenech, at ease Hicox.
          Drink?
          Hicox's eye's go to the formidable bulldog behind the piano,
          who's scrutinizing him behind his cigar. However the man behind
          the cigar makes no gesture, and the General, makes no
          acknowledgment of the three hundred pound gorilla in the room.
          Which Lt.Hicox knows enough to mean, if Churchell isn't
          introduced, he ain't there.

          LT.HICOX
          if you offered me a scotch and plane
          water, I could drink a scotch and
          plain water.

          

          

          

          

          ?7.

          GEN.FENECH
          That a boy, Lieutenant. Make it
          yourself, like a good chap,
          will you? Bars in the globe.
          Hicox heads over to the bar globe.

          LT.HICOX
          Something for yourself, sir?

          GEN.FENECH
          Whiskey straight. No junk in it.
          The Lieutenant moves over to the Columbus-style globe bar, and
          busies himself mixing spirits, playing bartender chappy.
          Fenech, eyeing the Lieutenant's file.

          GEN.FENECH
          It says here you've run three
          undercover commando operations in
          Germany, and German occupied
          territories? Frankfaurt, Holland,
          and Norway to be exact?
          Back to them, mixing drinks, he says;

          LT.HICOX
          Extraordinary people, the Norwegian's.

          GEN.FENECH
          It says here you speak German fluently?

          LT.HICOX
          Like a Katzenjammer Kid.

          GEN.FENECH
          And your occupation before the war?
          His back still to us, as he bartends...

          LT. H I COX
          I'm a film critic.

          GEN.FENECH
          List your accomplishments?

          LT.HICOX
          Well sir, such as they are, I write
          reviews and articles, for a publication
          called; "Films and Filmmakers".
          As well as our sister publication.

          

          

          

          
          7f .

          GEN.FENECH
          What's that called?

          LT.HICOX
          "Flickers Bi-Monthly". And I've had
          two books published.

          GEN.FENECH
          Impressive. Don't be modest Lieutenant,
          what are their titles?

          LT. HI COX
          The first book was called; "Art Of The
          Eye's, The Heart, and The Mind:A Study
          of German Cinema in the Twenties".
          And the second one was called; ...
          He turns around with his whiskey and plain water, and the
          Generals whiskey no junk. He finishes what he was saying, as
          he walks toward the General, handing him his drink.

          LT.HICOX
          "Twenty-Four Frame Da Vinci".
          It's a subtexual film criticism
          study of the work of German director
          G.W. Pabst.

          LT. HI COX
          What should we drink to, sir?

          GEN.FENECH
          (Thinking, for
          a moment)
          Down with Hitler.

          LT.HICOX
          All the way down, sir.

          GEN.FENECH
          Are you familiar with German cinema
          under the Third Reich?

          LT. HI COX
          Yes. Obviously I haven't seen any of
          the films made in the last three
          years, but I am familiar with it.

          GEN.FENECH
          Explain it to me.?

          

          

          

          

          77

          LT.HICOX
          Pardon sir?

          GEN.FENECH
          This little escapade of ours,
          requires a knowledge of the German
          film industry under the Third Reich.
          Explain to me UFA, under Goebbels?

          LT.HICOX
          Goebbels considers the films he's
          making to be the beginning of a new
          era in German cinema. A alternative
          to what he considers the Jewish
          German intellectual cinema of the
          twenties. And the Jewish controlled
          dogma of Hollywood.
          SUDDENLY... Bellowing from the back of the room;

          CHURCHELL
          How's he doing?

          LT. H I COX
          Frightfully sorry sir, once again?

          CHURCHELL
          You say he wants to take on the Jews
          at their own game? Compared to say
          .Louis B.Mayer...how's he doing?

          LT.HICOX
          Quite well, actually. Since Goebbels
          has taken over, film attendance has
          steadily risen in Germany over the
          last eight years. But Louis B.Mayer
          wouldn't be Goebbels proper opposite
          number. I believe Goebbels see's himself
          closer to David O.Selznick.
          Gen.Fenech looks to the Prime Minister.
          With a puff of cigar smoke, Churchell says;

          CHURCHELL
          Brief him.

          GEM.FENECH
          Lt.Bicox, at this point in time I'd
          like to brief you on, Operation Kino.
          Three days from now, Joseph Goebbels is
          throwing a gala premier of one of his
          new movies in Paris -

          

          

          

          

          80.

          LT.HICOX
          - What film sir?
          The General has to resort to peeking at his file.

          GEN.FENECH
          The motion pictures called; "Nation's
          Pride".

          LT.HICOX
          Oh, you mean the film about Private
          Zoller?

          GEN.FENECH
          We don't have any intelligence, on
          exactly, what the film that night
          will be about.

          LT.HICOX
          But it's called "Nation's Pride"?

          GEN.FENECH
          Yes.

          LT.HICOX
          I can tell you what it's about,
          it's about Private Fredrick Zoller.
          He's the German Sgt.York.
          Fenech can't help suppress a smile, they have the right man.

          GEN.FENECH
          In attendance at this joyous Germatic
          occasion, will be Goebbels, Gerring,
          Boorman, and most of the German High
          command, including all high ranking
          officers of both The S.S., and, The
          Gestapo. As well as luminaries of the
          Nazi propaganda film industry.

          LT.HICOX
          The master race at play, aye?

          GEN.FENECH
          Basically, we have all our rotten
          eggs in one basket. The objective of
          Operation Kino.... Blow up the basket.

          LT.HICOX
          (Reciting a
          a poem)
          "...and like the snows of yesteryear,
          gone from this earth". Jolly good, sir.

          

          

          

          

          GEN.FENECH
          An American Secret Service outfit,
          that lives deep behind enemy lines,
          will be your assist. The Germans call
          them; "The Basterds".

          LT.HICOX
          "The Basterds", never heard of them.

          GEN.FENECH
          Whole point of the secret service,
          old boy, you not hearing of them.
          But the Gerrys have heard of them,
          because these yanks have been them
          the devil. Their leader is a chap
          named Lt.Aldo Raine. The Germans
          call him, "Aldo the Apache".

          LT.HICOX
          Why do they call him that?

          GEN.FENECH
          Best guess, is because he removes the
          scalps of the Nazi dead.

          LT.HICOX
          Scalps, sir?

          GEN.FENECH
          The hair.
          He runs his finger along his hairline.

          GEN.FENECH
          Like a red Injun.

          LT.HICOX
          Rather gruesome sounding little
          Dicky bird, isn't he?

          GEN.FENECH
          No doubt the whole lot, a bunch a
          nutters. But you've heard the
          expression, "It takes a thief".

          LT.HICOX
          Indeed.
          General Fenech continues on with his exposition, moving over
          to a military map.

          

          

          

          
          9i.

          GEN.FENECH
          You'll be dropped into France, about
          twenty four kilometers outside of Paris.
          The Basterds will be waiting for you.
          First thing, you go to a little village
          called, "Nadine".
          (He points it
          out on the map)
          Apparently the Gerrys never go there.
          In Nadine, there's a tavern, called,
          "La Louisiane", you'll rendez-vous
          with our double agent, and she'll take
          it from there. She's the one who's
          going to get you in the premiere.
          It will be you, her, and two German
          born members of the Basterds. She's
          also made all the other arrangements
          your going to need.

          LT.HICOX
          How will I know her?

          GEN.FENECH
          I suspect that won't be too much
          trouble for you. Your contact is
          Bridget Von Hammersmark.

          LT.HICOX
          Bridget Von Hammersmark? The German
          movie star is working for England?

          GEN.FENECH
          For the last two years now. one could
          even say Operation Kino was her
          brainchild.
          In the back of the room the bulldog barks;

          CHURCHELL
          Extraordinary women.

          LT.BICOX
          Quite.

          GEN.FENECH
          You'll go to the premiere as her
          escort, lucky devil. She'll also
          have the premiere tickets for the
          other two. Got the gist?

          LT.HICOX
          I think so, sir. Paris when it sizzles.
          The three British bulldogs laugh.

          

          

          

          

          9 3

          EXT - CINEMA ROOFTOP - DAY
           Shosanna and Marcel are on the rooftop of their cinema,
          literally, making a movie.
          Marcel is behind a old (even then) BOLEX 35MM MOVIE CAMERA,
          positioned low looking up.
           Shosanna, the camera subject, stands on boxes looking down
          into it.
          A old timey MICROPHONE is positioned out of frame.
          As they always do, and always will, they speak FRENCH
          SUBTITLED into you know what.

          MARCEL
          We need a sync mark.

          SHOSANNA
          What is a sync mark?

          MARCEL
          A action and noise put together,
          So we can sync up the picture
          and sound.

          SHOSANNA
          How do we do that?

          MARCEL
          Clap your hands.
          She does.

          MARCEL
          In frame imbecile.
          She claps her hands in front of her face.

          MARCEL
          Ready?
          Shosanna takes a deep breath, then;

          SHOSANNA
          Ready.

          MARCEL
          Action.

          WE CUT BEFORE SHE SPEAKS TO...

          

          

          

          

          GIR

          .THE SCENE EARLIER BETWEEN MARCEL AND SHOSANNA IN THE

          LOBBY, ON THE STAIRS, TALKING ABOUT BURNING DOWN THE CINEMA.
          Big diffrence this time, it's in COLOR.

          MARCEL
          But how do we get it developed?
          Only a suicidal idiot like us would
          develop that footage. How do we get
          a35mm print with a soundtrack?

          SHOSANNA
          Do you know one person who can do
          both things?

          MARCEL
          Of course Gaspar, very nice man,
          took care of all the experimental
          filmmakers. But nobody in their
          right mind would strike a print of
          what your talking about. If the
          Nazi's found out, their life wouldn't
          be worth this.
          He snaps his fingers.

          SHOSANNA
          In a wolf fight, you ether eat the
          wolf, or the wolf eats you. If we're
          going to obliterate the Nazi's,
          we have to use their tactics.

          MARCEL
          What does that mean?

          SHOSANNA
          We find somebody who can develop
          and process a35mm print. And we
          make them do it, or we kill them.
          Once we tell them what we want to
          do, if they refuse, we have to kill
          them anyway, or they'll turn us in.

          MARCEL
          Would you do that?

          SHOSANNA
          Like that.
          Snaps her fingers.

          

          

          

          

          ?S,

          INT - SMALL FILM PROCESSING LAB- LATE NIGHT
          A old mom and pop film processing lab circa the Thirties.
          Late late at night.
          GASPAR, the fatherly figure of all the experimental French
          filmmakers in the decade before German rule, takes a SAVAGE
          BEATING at the hands of his friend Marcel.
          Shosanna watches, pitiless.

          SHOSANNA
          Bring that fucker over here!
          Put his head down on that table.
          Marcel, holds his arm behind him, as he forces his head flat
          against the table top.
          Shosanna brings a HATCHET DOWN DEEP into the table, just by
          his face.

          SHOSANNA
          You ether do what the fuck we tell
          you to, or I'll bury this axe in your
          collaborating skull.

          GASPAR
          I'm not a collaborator!

          SHOSANNA
          Then prove it! Or does your manhood
          go no deeper, then standing to piss?
          Marcel, does his wife, and children
          know you?

          MARCEL
          Oui.

          SHOSANNA
          Then after we kill this dog for
          Germans, we'll go and silence them.
          She lifts up the hatchet, raises it high...

          SHOSANNA
          Prepare to die, collaborator fucker!

          CUT TO

          GASPAR
          hands the couple a SMALL SILVER CAN OF 35mm FILM. Outside
          the shop window, it's morning.

          

          

          

          

          INT - PROJECTION BOOTH-
          WE SEE the five heavy silver film cans of Fredrick Zollers
          life story "Nations Pride"(clearly marked) on the floor of
          the projection booth.
          The can for REEL 4is open and empty.
          Shosanna's at the editing bench, REEL 4, is up on the
          rewinds...
          Shosanna SPLICES her and Marcels footage into REEL 4 of
          Fredricks film. Rewinds it, puts it back in the can, and
          puts a piece of RED TAPE on REEL 4 CAN.
          She walks out of the booth, turning off the lights behind
          her, PLUNGING THE SCREEN INTO DARKNESS.

          BLACK FRAME

          FROM BLACK DISSOLVE TO

          EXT - LA LOUISIANE (TAVERN) - NIGHT
          We see a small basement tavern, with a old rustic sign out
          front that reads, "La Louisiane".

          A SUBTITLE APPEARS:
          "The Village of

          NADINE, FRANCE"
          TWO SHOT LT.HICOX and LT.ALDO RAINE
          Aldo is dressed like a French civilian. Hicox is dressed in a
          German grey S.S. Cap't uniform. They look out of a window, in a
          apartment, in the village of Nadine, overlooking the tavern.

          LT.ALDO
          You didn't say the goddamn rendez-vous
          was in a fuckin basement.

          LT.HICOX
          I didn't know.

          LT.ALDO
          You said it was in a tavern?

          LT.HICOX
          it is a tavern.

          

          

          

          

          LT.ALDO
          Yeah, in a basement. You know,
          fightin in a basement offers a lot
          of difficulties, number one being,
          your fighting in a basement.
          Wilhelm Wicki, joins the SHOT, dressed in a German S.S.
          Lieutenant uniform.

          WICKI
          What if we go in there, and she's
          not even there?

          LT.HICOX
          We wait. Don't worry, she's a British
          spy, she'll make the rendez-vous.
          WE SEE the other Basterds, dressed in French civilian clothes,
          are in the room as well, they are, Donowitz, Hirschberg,
          and Utivich. And in the back of the room, dressed in the grey
          uniform of a S.S. Lieutenant, Hugo Stiglitz sits off by himself,
          sharpening his S.S. DAGGER on his leather belt looped around his
          boot. Anybody not in the scene from the Basterds opening
          chapter, is dead.
          Lt.Hicox watches Stiglitz off by himself on the other side of
          the room, SHARPENS his dagger menacingly.
          .Stiglitz is fucking werid...
          Lt.Hicox approaches Stiglitz...

          LT.NICOX
          Stiglitz, right?

          STIGLITZ
          That's right, sir.
          He continues bringing the blades edge, up, then, down on the
          leather strap.

          LT.HICOX
          I hear your pretty good with that?
          Meaning the blade. Stiglitz doesn't answer.

          LT.HICOX
          You know, we're not looking for
          trouble, right now. We're simply
          making contact with our agent.
          Should be uneventful. However, on
          the off chance I'm wrong, and things
          prove eventful. I need to know, we can
          all remain calm.

          

          

          

          

          99.
          The renegade Gerry Sergeant, stops his blades progress, and
          looks up at the limy Lieutenant.

          STIGLITZ
          I don't look calm to you?

          LT.HICOX
          Well, now you put it like that,
          I guess you do.
          He turns his attention back to his blade.
          Hicox moves over to Aldo, and asks him privately;

          LT. HI COX
          This Gerry of yours, Stiglitz?
          Not exactly the loquacious type,
          is he?
          Aldo just looks at him.

          LT.ALDO
          Is that the kinds man you need, the
          loquacious type?

          LT.HICOX
          Fair point, Lieutenant.

          LT.ALDO
          So y'all git in trouble in there,
          what are we suppose to do?
          Make bets on how it all comes out?

          LT.HICOX
          If we get into trouble, we can
          handle it. But if trouble does
          happen, we need you to make damn
          sure no Germans, or French, for
          matter, escape from that basement.
          If Frau Von Hammersmark's cover is
          compromised, the mission is kaput.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Speaking of Frau Von Hammersmark,
          who's idea was it for the death trap
          redez-vous?

          LT.HICOX
          She chose the spot.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Well isn't that just dandy?

          

          

          

          

          LT.HICOX
          Look, she's not a military strategist.
          She's just a actress.

          LT.ALDO
          Ya don't got to be Stonewall
          Jackson to know you don't want to
          fight in a basement.

          LT.HICOX
          She wasn't picking a place to fight.
          She was picking a place, isolated,
          and without germans.

          PFC.HIRSCHBERG
          Lieutenant, I hate to be contrary,
          but I got me a Nazi pissin on
          Louisianna two-o'clock.
          They move to the window, and sure enough, ONE LONE NAZI
          PRIVATE, relieves himself against the side wall.
          Lt.Bicox, this was definitely, not the plan.

          LT.HICOX
          Shit.
          Sgt.Donowitz chides him;

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          So what do you think your fraulein
          Von Hammer -

          LT.HICOX
          - Obviously, I don't know,Sgt.
          The British officer watches the German soldier, who's not
          suppose to be there. When Hugo Stiglitz joins him at the
          window. Stiglitz looks down at the urinating Nazi, S.S. dagger
          in hand.

          STIGLITZ
          If we're going, let's go.
          He sheaths the dagger.

          EXT - LA LOUISIANE (BASEMENT TAVERN) - NIGHT
          The GERMAN PISSING PRIVATE, sloppily finishes his task.
          Craming his noodle back in his pants, he descends the stairs
          that lead him back into the basement tavern. We Follow him...

          

          

          

          INT - LA LOUISIANE (BASEMENT TAVERN)- NIGHT
          .Inside the basement tavern, La Louisiane. it has a very low
          hanging basement ceiling. A old looking wood bar off to the
          right. And the only other space in the little tavern, is taken
          up by two large(at least in here) tables, which take up both
          half's of the room. And despite rumors to the contrary, one of
          the two tables, is completely filled with drunken celebrating
          Nazi enlisted men, of which our urinating friend is one of
          five.

          FIVE NAZI'S
          ONE GERMAN MASTER SGT, ONE FEMALE GERMAN SGT (a powerfully built
          stocky type), and THREE MALE GERMAN PRIVATES.
          The Five Nazi's are sitting around the table, drinking, and
          playing a very fun game with none other then the fraulein of
          the hour, UFA diva, BRIDGET VON HAMMERSMARK. Dressed to the
          nines in a chic Forties style women's suit, complete with
          fedora. The game their playing consists of each player having
          a card with the name of a famous person, real or imaginary,
          stuck to their forehead. The player doesn't know what name is
          on their forehead. So they ask the others questions to figure
          out who they are.
           The Five Germans, five cards read; MASTER SGT #1(POLA NEGRI),

          FEMALE SGT #2(BEETHOVEN), GERMAN PRIVATE #3(MATA HARI),

          GERMAN PRIVATE #4 (EDGAR WALLACE), GERMAN PRIVATE #5
           (WINNETOU). And Bridget Von Hammersmark, who wears her card in
          the brim of her fedora, has GENGHIS KHAN.
          It's German#5 (WINNETOU) turn to ask questions.
           The DIALOGUE will be in GERMAN, and SUBTITLED into ENGLISH.
          Also, while some dialogue will be written for the German
          Soldiers, it will be mostly made up from the exuberance
          of their game playing, and celebrating.

          WINNETOU
          .okay, I'm not German. Am I American?
          The whole table bursts out laughing.

          FEMALE SGT/BEETHOVEN
          Yes you arel

          EDGAR WALLACE
          Well, not really.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          What do you mean, not really? Of
          course he is.

          

          

          

          

          91

          EDGAR WALLACE
          Well if he's so American, how come
          he's never been translated into
          English? He's not American. He's
          suppose to be American, but he's not
          a American creation. In fact, he's
          something very different.

          WINNETOU
          Okay, I'm a fictional, literary
          character, from the past, I'm American,
          and that's controversial.

          BRIDGET/GENGUS
          No it's not controversial. The nationally
          of the author, has nothing to do with
          the nationally of the character.
          The Character is the character.
          Hamlet's not British, he's Danish.
          So yes, this character was born in
          America.

          WINNETOU
          Well I'm glad that's settled. If I had
          a wife, would she be called a squaw?
          He's got it.
          The table Laughs.
          The TABLE

          YES!

          WINNETOU
          Is my bloodbrother, Old Shatterhand?
          The TABLE
          Yes!

          WINNETOU
          Did Karl May write me?
          The TABLE
          Yes!
          In the BACKGROUND, WE SEE, our three counterfeit German
          Officers, Hicox, Wicki, and Stiglitz, enter the basement
          tavern. They obviously. see the five German soldiers, but their
          too far away for us (the audience) to read their face. No
          doubt their less then happy. Fraulein Von Hammersmark
          see's them as well. Without getting up, she waves to them.

          

          

          

          

          QZ

          BRIDGET
          Hello, my lovelies, I will join you
          in moments. I'm finishing up a game
          with my five new friends here.

          LT.HICOX
          No hurry, Frau Von Hammersmark.
          Take your time, enjoy yourself.

          BRIDGET
          (To Winnetou)
          So who are you?

          WINNETOU
          I am WINNETOU, CHIEF of the APACHES!
          The table CHEERS, and APPLAUD the Apache Chief, as he takes
          the card off his forehead.
          The other Four German Soldiers drink down there beer(part of
          the game).
          Bridget Von Hammersmark knock backs her champagne.

          MATA HARI
          Frau Von Hammersmark, when your
          friends came in, did you realize
          you did a double take, like in the
          movies?

          BRIDGET
          Really? No, I wasn't aware of that
          at all.

          MATA HARI
          They must be second nature to you now?
          Did they teach you how to do a double
          take in the movies?

          BRIDGET
          Well, yes they did, but it's not really
          that difficult.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Do one for us.
          The Tableheartily agrees.
          Bridget looks directly at the Master Sgt, and does a perfect,
          and perfectly funny, Double Take.
          The Table loves it.

          

          

          

          
          q3.

          MATA HARI
          My turn, I want to try.
          Mata Hari, looks directly at Beethoven, and does a Double
          Take.

          EDGER WALLACE
          I want to try.
          He does.
          Soon the whole Table is doing dueling Double Takes.

          HICOX - WICKI - STIGLITZ
          watch the table do dueling Double Takes. Obviously, they don't
          understand.

          THEN...
          .Bridget Von Hammersmark rises, and excuses herself from the
          Table. She removes the card stuck in her fedora, looking at
          the name Gengus Khaun for the first time.

          BRIDGET
          Gengus Khaun! I would never of gotten that.
          She walks over, and joins the masquerading Germans table, the
          Gentlemen rise. She greets each warmly with a french cheek
          kiss, as if she knows them well.
          They all take a seat. The two Basterds, and one Brit, drink
          Whiskey. The taverns PROPRIETOR, a older, big bellyed
          Frenchman named EARL, comes over to the table, and pours more
          champagne into Bridget's Champagne glass. He leaves, returning
          back behind the bar, with the YOUNG FRENCH BARMAID, the only other
          person in the establishment.
          Obviously, they speak GERMAN, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          LT.HICOX
          I thought this place was suppose to
          have more French then Germans?

          BRIDGET
          Normally that's true. The Sgt over
          there's wife, just had a baby. His
          commanding officer gave him, and his
          mates the night off to celebrate.

          WICXI
          We should leave.

          

          

          

          

          BRIDGET
          F No, we should stay. For one drink at
          least. I've been waiting for you in a
          bar, it would look strange if we left
          before we had a drink.

          LT.HICOX
          She's right, just be calm, and enjoy
          your booze.

          BACK TO THE GERMAN TABLE
          The French Barmaid, has taken Bridget's place in the rousing,
          rowdy game. She tells them, her person must be French, or she
          won't know them. Winnetou thinks for a moment, then writes a
          name on a card. The Barmaid puts it on her forehead, It says;

          NAPOLEON.
          The Germans all laugh.

          BACK TO THE BASTERDS TABLE

          BRIDGET
          There's been some new developments.
          The cinema venue has changed.

          LT.HICOX
          Why?

          BRIDGET
          No one knows. But that in itself
          shouldn't be a problem. The cinema
          it's been changed to is considerably
          smaller then The Ritz. So whatever
          materials you brought for The Ritz,
          should be doubly effective here.
          Now this next piece of information
          is colossal, try not to over react.
          The Fubrer, will be attending tomorrow.
          Hugo Stiglitz does a SPIT TAKE.
          Bridget's eyes bore holes in him.

          BACK TO THE REAL GERMANS
          They see Hugo do the spit take, and burst out laughing.
          Keeping it up, they begin to do dueling spit takes, like they
          did dueling double takes earlier. Needless to say, they all
          get wet.

          

          

          

          

          9

          BACK TO BASTERDS

          BRIDGET
          (To Hicox)
          You'll be going as Ernst Schuller.
          You'll say your a associate producer
          on Riefenstahl's "Tiefland". It's the
          one German production not under Goebbels
          control, and Leni wouldn't be caught dead
          at a Goebbels film affair.

          BACK TO REAL GERMAN TABLE
          Master Sgt.Pola Negri, drinks his beer, as he looks over,
          dreamily, at Bridget Von Hammersmark at the other table.

          BACK TO BASTERDS
          We See in Bridget continues to brief Hicox on his identity.
          the B.G., the German Master Sgt stand up from his table, and
          head toward Fraulein Von Bammersmark.

          BRIDGET
          .the films gone through many delays,
          and Leni's heath is deteriorating, so
          if you have to speak...
          Hicox, seeing the German Master Sgt approach, signals for her
          to cool it.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Frau Von Hammersmark, I was just
          thinking, could you sign a autograph
          to my son on his birthday?

          BRIDGET
          I'd love to Wilhelm.
          (To the Table)
          This handsome happy Sgt, just became
          a father today.
          The Pretend Officers offer congratulations to the Sgt.
          The German Master Sgt, CLICKS his heels, and bows before his
          superior officers.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Thank you, heil Hitler.
          He raises his hand .... as do the seated phony officers; "Heil
          Hitler".
          As she takes a rather fancy fountain pen from her clutch..

          BRIDGET
          So Wilhelm, do you know the name of
          this progeny yet?

          

          

          

          

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          I most certainly do, fraulein. His
          name is Maximilian.
          Even the slightly psychotic Stiglitz, likes this German Sgt.

          STIGLITZ
          Wonderful name, Sgt.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Thank you, Lieutenant. When he's old
          enough to ride a bicycle, I will buy
          him a blue one. And I will paint on
          the side "The Blue Max".
          He thrusts out his beer stein, for the officers to cheers.
          They do.
          Bridget finishes signing her autograph, with a big flourish.

          BRIDGET
          There you go. But wait, I'm not finished yet.
          She reaches into her clutch, and pulls out some lipstick.
          Applies some ruby red color to her lips, and then kisses the
          napkin, leaving a big red lip print. Then hands the treasured
          item to the young father.

          BRIDGET
          Nothing but the best for little Maximilian.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Thank you fraulein, thank you. Max may
          not know who you are now. But he will.
          I will show him all of your movies.
          He will grow up with your films,
          and this napkin on his wall.
          Then, to the whole tavern...

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          I purpose a toast to the greatest actress
          in Germany! There is no Dietrich, there is
          no Riefenstahl, only Von Hammersmark!
          The whole room toasts.
          This would be a good time for the German Sgt to go back to his
          table, and his men. And he almost does.... but... since he is
          drunk, and star struck, he out wears his welcome.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          So, Frau Von Hammersmark, what brings
          you to France?

          

          

          

          

          97 .
          Feeling any good Nazi officer's patience would of been
          exhausted long ago, Lt.Hicox butts in.

          LT.HICOX
          None of your business,Sgt.
          You might not have worn out your welcome
          with the fraulein, with your drunken
          boorish behavior, but you have wore out
          your welcome with me.
          The Table of game playing Soldiers, hear this, and get quiet.

          LT.HICOX
          Might I remind you Sgt.,your a enlisted
          man. This is a officers table. I suggest
          you stop pestering the fraulein, and
          rejoin your table.
          The German Master Sgt., looks quizzically at the officer.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Excuse me Cap't, but your accent is
          is very unusual.
          The whole room pauses-for different reasons...

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          Where are you from?
          A silent moment passes between the two tables, then the two
          German born impostors spring into action.

          WICKI
          Sgt.! You must be ether drunk or mad,
          to speak to a superior officer with
          such impertinentness!
          Stiglitz, STANDS and YELLS to the other table;

          STIGLITZ
          I'm making YOU,...
          (Pointing at

          WINNETOU)
          .and YOU,..
          (Pointing at
          Edgar Wallace)
          .responsible, for him.
          (Pointing at
          Sgt.Pola)
          I suggest you take hold of your friend,
          or he'll spend Max's first birthday
          in jail for public drunkenness!

          

          

          

          

          78
          The Germans SPRING UP, and take hold of Sgt.Pola...

          1W

          WHEN...
          A GERMAN VOICE rings out;

          GERMAN VOICE (OS)
          Then might I inquire?
          The Five known Germans move aside, reveling the unknown German
          in the room, unseen till now, our old friend from before
          MAJOR DEITER HELLSTROM of the GESTAPO. The Major stands from
          the little table he was sitting at.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Like the young newly christened father,
          I too have a acute ear for accents.
          And like him, I too find yours odd.
          From where do you hail, Cap't?
          Wicki jumps in;

          WICKI
          Major, this is highly inappr -

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          T wasn't speaking to you
          Lt.Saltzberg,
          (Turning to

          STIGLITZ)
          or you ether, Lt.Berlin.
          (Looking at

          HICOX)
          I was speaking to Cap't I--don't-know-what.
          The Gestapo Major is now standing beside Sgt.Pola, before the
          impostors table.
          Lt.Hicox, calmly explains his origin.

          LT.HICOX
          I was born in the village that rests
          in the shadow of Piz Palu.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          The mountain?

          LT.HICOX
          Yes. In that village we all speak like
          this. Have you seen the Riefenstahl film?

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Yes.

          

          

          

          
          f q s

          LT. HICOX
          Then you saw me. You remember the skiing
          torch scene?

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Yes I do.

          LT.HICOX
          In that scene was myself, my father,
          my sister, and my two brothers. My
          brother is so handsome, the director
          Pabst, gave him a Close Up.
          As Bridget Von Hammersmark places a cigarette in a ivory
          cigarette holder, which Hicox, as if on cue, lights for her,
          she says;

          BRIDGET
          Major, if my word means anything, I can
          vouch for everything the Young Cap't has
          just said. He does hail from the bottom
          of Piz Palu, he was in the film,
          and his brother is far more handsome
          then he.
          The impostors laugh.
          Then....so does the Gestapo Major. He turns to the Sgt.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          You should rejoin your friends.
          Which the young Sgt is more then happy to do. That table
          begins playing there game again.
          Major Hellstrom, the highest ranking officer in the room, bows
          graciously to the female German celebrity.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          May I join you?

          BRIDGET
          By all means, Major.
          The Gestapo Major sits at the table, opposite Lt.Hicox, and
          Wicki. The French Barmaid brings over the Majors beer stein.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          So that's the source of your bazaar
          accent? Extraordinary. So what are
          you doing here Cap't?

          LT.HICOX
          Aside from having a drink with the lovely
          fraulein?

          

          

          

          

          ,00 .

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Well that pleasure requires no explanation.
          Chuckle...Chuckle

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          I mean in country. Your obviously not
          stationed in France, or I'd know who
          you are.

          LT • I'! I COX
          You know every German in France?

          MAJOR BELLSTROM
          Worth knowing.

          LT.HICOX
          Well, there in lies the problem. We
          never claimed to be worth knowing.
          Chuckle... Chuckle.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          (Chuckling as
          he asks)
          All levity aside, what are you doing
          in France?

          LT.HICOX
          Attending Goebbels film premiere as
          the frauleins escort.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Your the frauleins escort?

          LT.HICOX
          Somebody has to carry the lighter.
          Chuckle chuckle.

          BRIDGET
          The Captain is my date, but all three
          are my guests. We're old friends Major,
          who go back along time. Longer then
          a actress would care to admit.
          Chuckle chuckle.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Well, in that case, let me raise a glass
          to the three luckiest men in the room.

          BRIDGET
          I'll drink to that.

          

          

          

          

          101
          They cheers.

          BACK TO THE REAL GERMAN TABLE
          They continue to have alot of fun playing their game.

          BACK TO OFFICERS TABLE

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          I must say, that game their playing
          looks like a good bit of fun. I didn't
          join them, because your quite right Cap't,
          officers and enlisted men shouldn't
          fraternize. But seeing as we're all
          officers here,
          (Bowing to

          BRIDGET)
          .and sophisticated lady friends of
          officers. What say we play the game?
          Lt.Hicox begins to refuse, when Bridget (feeling she knows
          better), interrupts him;

          BRIDGET
          okay, one game.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM

          WUNDERBAR
          The Major borrows five cards from the other table, and lays
          them out in front of Bridget and the officers.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          So the object of the game, is to write
          the name of a famous person on your card.
          Real or fictitious, doesn't matter. For
          instance, you could write Confucius or
          Fu Manchu.
          (He SNAPS his

          FINGERS)
          Eric' More pens.
          (Back to players)
          And they must be famous. No Aunt Inga's.
          When you finish writing, put the card
          face down on the table, and move it to
          the person to your left. The person to
          your right, will move their card in
          front of you. You pick up the card
          without looking at it, lick the back,
          and stick it on your forehead like so.
          He demonstrates.

          

          

          

          
          )oz.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM

          (CON'T)
          And in ten yes or no questions, you must
          guess who you are...
          As Major Hellstrom finishes explaining the finer points of the
          game, The CAMERA PANS OFF HIM, and BEGINS SLOWLY ZOOMING INTO
          STIGLITZ. The Majors dialogue begins to FADE AWAY.
          Untill we're in a SPAGHETTI WESTERN FLASHBACK. Which is RED
          FILTERED FOOTAGE of Hugo being savagely WHIPPED by somebody
          wearing a GESTAPO UNIFORM, SUPERIMPOSED over his CLOSE UP.
          The Flashback disappears. It's driving Stiglitz crazy, being
          this close to a Gestapo uniform, and not plunging a knife into
          it.
          The Majors Voice comes back on the soundtrack.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          .So let's give it a try, shall we?
          Everybody write your names.
          The Five players write their names...
          Then move their cards to the right...
          Everybody sticks their cards on their forehead...

          MAJORBRIDGETWILHELMARCHIEHUGO

          HELLSTROMVON HAMMERSMARKWICKIHICOXSTIGLITZ
          is is is is is

          KING MARCOBULLDOGBRIGITTEG.W.

          KONG POLO DRUMMOND HELM PABST

          MAJ.KING KONG
          I'll start, give you the idea.
          Am I German?
          They laugh.

          BRIDGET
          No.

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Am I a American?
          They laugh - but then Wicki says;

          WICKI
          Wait a minute, he goes to

          

          

          

          

          !03 .

          BRIDGET
          Don't be ridiculous, obviously he wasn't
          born in America.

          MAJ.KING KONG
          So... . I visited America, aye?
          The Table says; "Yes".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Was this vist...fortuitous?

          WICKI
          Not for you.

          MAJ.KING KONG
          .Bummm. My native land, is it what
          one would call, exotic?
          The Table confers, and decides, yes it is exotic.

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Hummmm. That could be ether a reference
          to the jungle, or the Orient. I'm going
          to let my first instinct take over, and
          ask, am I from the jungle?
          The Tablesays; "Yes you are".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Now gentlemen, around this time you could
          ask, weather your real or fictitious.
          I however, think that's too easy, so I
          won't ask that, yet. Okay, my native land
          is the jungle? I visited America, but my
          visit was not fortuitous to me, but the
          implication is that it was to somebody
          else. When I went from the jungle to
          America,... .Did I go by boat?
          "Yes".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Did I go against my will?
          "Yes".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          On this boat ride, ... . Was I in chains?

          "YESIS

          

          

          

          

          MAJ.KING KONG
          When I arrived in America,...Was I
          displayed in chains?
          "Yes".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Am I the story of the Negro in America?
          The Table says, "No".

          MAJ.KING KONG
          Well then I must be King Kong.
          Be throws the card on the table.
          They applaud him.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Nov since I answered correctly, you all
          need to finnish your drinks.
          The three counterfeit Nazi's knock back their whiskey.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Now, who's next?

          LT.HICOX
          Major, I don't mean to be rude. But the
          four of us are very good friends. And
          the four of us haven't seen each other
          in quite a while. So...
          Major, I'm afraid, you are intruding.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          I beg to differ Cap't. It's only if the
          fraulein considers my presence a
          intrusion, that I become a intruder.
          How about it fraulein? Am I intruding?

          BRIDGET
          Of course not, Major.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          I didn't think so. It's simply the young
          Cap't is immune to my charms.
          The Table's not sure what to do, is this a confrontation?
          Then, the Major laughs.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          I'm just joking, of course I'm intruding.

          

          

          

          

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Allow me to refill your glasses gentlemen,
          and I will bid you and the fraulein adieu.
          (Leaning in)
          Eric has a bottle of thirty-three year old
          single malt scotch whisky from the
          Scottish highlands. What do you say
          gentlemen?

          LT.HICOX
          Your most gracious, sir.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Eric, the thirty-three, and new glasses!
          You don't want to contaminate the thirty-
          three with the swill you were drinking.

          ERIC
          How many glasses?

          LT.HICOX
          Five glasses.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Not me. I like scotch, scotch doesn't like
          me.

          BRIDGET
          Nor I. I'll stay with bubbly.
          Lt.Bicox, hold up three fingers(pinky to index), to Eric the
          owner.

          LT.HICOX
          Three glasses.
          Eric brings the three glasses, and the old bottle, pouring for
          the three soldiers.
          Major Helistrom lifts up his beer stein, and toasts;

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          To a thousand year Reich!
          They all mutter, "a thousand year reich", and toast glasses.
          The Gestapo Major puts down his beer stein, and then WE HEAR a
          CLICK, under the table.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Did you hear that? That's the sound of
          my Luger pointed right at your testicles.

          

          

          

          

          !Q( •

          LT.HICOX
          Why do you have a Luger pointed at my
          testicles?

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Because you've just given yourself
          away, Cap't. Your no more German then
          that scotch.

          LT.HICOX
          Well, -Major -

          BRIDGET
          - Major -

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          - Shut up slut.
          (To Hicox)
          You were saying?

          LT.HICOX
          I was saying that makes two of us. I've
          had a gun pointed at your balls since
          you sat down.

          SGT.STIGLITZ
          That makes three of us.

          UNDERTABLE
          We See all three guns pointed at appropriate crotches. As well
          as Bridget's legs, right besides the Nazi Major's. Her pretty
          gams are sure to be chewed up in the possible crossfire.

          SGT.STIGLITZ
          And at this range, I'm a real
          Fredrick Zoller.
          Hugo alsobrings out his dagger, and sitcks it in the table top.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Hummmmm ... Looks like we have a bit
          of a sticky situation here.

          LT. H ICOX
          What's going to happen, Major, is your
          going to stand up, and walk out that
          door with us.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          No no no no no no, I don't think so.
          I'm afraid you and I both know, no matter
          what happens to anybody else in this room,
          the two of us aren't going anywhere.

          

          

          

          

          "7 .

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          (pointing behind
          him at the table)
          Too bad about them though. They seem
          like a likeable
          (referring to
          Stiglitz and Wicki)
          You two will have to shoot them.

          BRIDGET
          Then Major, i implore you. For the
          sake of those German troops, will
          you please leave with us?

          MAJOR HELLSTROM
          Oh Bridget, your concern for German
          troops, gets me
          (Pointing at
          his heart)
          .right here. You mean for the sake
          your whore legs, don't you? You can't
          afford to get any bullet holes in them,
          your not finished spreading them for
          all the Hollywood Jews.
          Lt.Hicox picks up his thirty-three year old single malt
          scotch, and says;

          LT.HICOX

          (ENGLISH)
          'Well, if this is it old boy, I hope
          you dont mind if I go out speaking
          the kings?

          MAJOR HELLSTROM

          (ENGLISH)
          By all means, Cap't.
          The English film critic, commando, picks up the thirty-three
          the Nazi Major bought him, and says;

          LT.HICOX
          There's a special rung in hell reserved
          for people who waste good scotch.
          And seeing as I might be rapping on
          the door momentarily...
          He downs the stuff.

          LT.HICOX
          (To the Nazi

          MAJOR)
          I must say, damn good stuff, sir.

          

          

          

          
          He puts the glass down.

          LT.HICOX
          Now about this, "Pickle", we find
          ourself's in. It would appear, there's
          only thing left for you to do.

          MAJOR HELLSTROM

          (ENGLISH)
          And what would that be?

          LT.HICOX
          Stiglitz.

          STIGLITZ
          Say, auf wiedersehen to your balls!

          STIGLITZ
          FIRES into HELLSTROM'S BALLS...
          As does HICOX, HITTING not only Hellstrom, but BRIDGET as
          well.

          HELLSTROM
          FIRES into HICOX'S BALLS and KNEE CAPS.

          STIGLITZ
          then JUMPS over the table, and begins STABBING HELLSTROM with the

          DAGGER.
          HICOX FALLS to the floor....DEAD.
          BRIDGET FALLS to the floor.,SHOT.

          WICKI
          brings his weapon out from underneath the table, and BEGINS
          FIRING across at The GERMANS at the table, who unaware, were
          still PLAYING THE GAME.

          WINNETOU
          is SHOT IN THE BACK, before he even knew what was happening.
          EDGAR WALLACE and The FRENCH BARMAID
          are both SHOT by WICKI.

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          FALLS to the floor in the confusion.
          FEMALE SGT.BEETHOVEN and STIGLITZ bring their guns toward each
          other and FIRE. They BOTH TAKE and GIVE each other so many
          BULLETS, it's almost romantic when they collapse DEAD on the
          floor.

          

          

          

          

          I 09.
          WICKI and HATA HARI
          both ON THERE atMATA AARI is
          HIT THREE TIM atally)G

          SGT.POLA NEGRI
          comes the a CHINE GUNN,
          whole thehroom;,BWIPI NGERIC.
          The SHOOTING STOPS...the SMOKE caused by the gunfire ... starts
          to DISSIPATE... The only one in the room left alive, is the
          young German Sgt, with the machine gunn.
          WE HEAR the feet of the soldiers outside, reach the basement
          entrance.
          The door opens...
          , .The German Sgt, sends FIFTY BULLETS in the doors
          direction...
          No one goes through it.
          What we have here, is a rabbit hole like situation. No one
          inside is getting out, no one outside is getting in.
          The young German Sgt, YELLS in ENGLISH, to the outside;

          GERMAN SGT
          You outside! Who are you? British,
          American, what?
          Aldo's Voice YELLS down the hole;

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Were American's 1 What are you?

          GERMAN SGT
          I'm a German you idiot!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          You speak English pretty good for a
          German!

          GERMAN SGT
          I agree! So let's talk!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Okay, talk!

          GERMAN SGT
          I'm a father! My baby was born today
          in Frankfurt! Five hours ago! His name
          is Max! We were in here drinking and
          celebrating! They're the ones that
          came in shooting and killing!
          It's not my fault!

          

          

          

          
          Ito.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Okay, okay, it wasn't your fault!
          What's your name soldier?

          GERMAN SGT
          Wilhelm!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          That's the same name as one of the
          guys you just killed!

          WILHELM
          They attacked us!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Okay Wilhelm... .is anybody alive
          on our side?

          WILHELM
          No!
          We hear a VOICE OFF SCREEN, yell out;

          BRIDGET'S VOICE(OS)
          I'm alive!
          Wilhelm spins in the direction of the voice.

          STILL

          R
          On the floor, with a bullet in her BLOODY LEG, lies the
          alive Bridget Von Hammersmark.
          The German Sgt points the muzzle of the machine gunn at
          the German celebrity; with hate in his eyes.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Who's that?

          WILHELM
          (To BRIDGET,

          LOW)
          Make a sound whore, and I spit!
          Meaning the muzzle.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Wilhelm, who is that?

          WILHELM
          is the girl on your side?
          Pause.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Which girl?

          

          

          

          

          WILHELM
          1 Who do you think, Von Hammersmark!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Yeah, she's oar's!

          WILHELM
          (To Bridget
          LOW in GERMAN)
          I thought so. So you run with the
          American's now, huh? Now times are
          bad?

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Is she okay?

          WILHELM
          (To Bridget
          LOW in GERMAN)
          You despicable traitor.
          (To Aldo)
          She's been shot, but she's alive.
          (To Bridget
          LOW in GERMAN)
          For now.
          We hear The Basterds Curse their luck Off Screen.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Okay Wilhelm, what'd ya say we
          make a deal?

          WILHELM
          What's your name?

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Aldo. Wilhelm, can I call yap Willi?

          WILHELM
          Yes.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          So Willi, you know we could lob three
          or four or five or six grenades down
          there, and your little war story ends
          here. But good fer you, bad fer her,
          you die, she dies. So what say we
          make a swap?

          WILLI
          Keep talking?

          

          

          

          

          112.

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Okay, Willi here's my deal! You let
          me and one of my men come down to
          take the girl away! And we take the
          girl, and leave! That simple, Willi!
          You go your way, we go ours! And little
          Max, gets to grow up playing catch with
          his daddy! So what'ya say, Willi, we
          got a deal?
          Willi thinks...
          Bridget watches Willi think...

          WILLI
          Aldo?

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          I'm here Willi!

          WILLI
          I want to trust you.... But howcanI?

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          What choice ya got?

          WILLI
          I could kill the girl!

          ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
          Well now, Willi, that's true enough.
          But something you need to know, so
          you don't get the wrong idea. Ain't
          none of us give a fuck bout that
          girl. But, admittedly, if you kill
          her, it would fuck up our plans. But
          you'll be dead by then anyway, so
          what'd you care? And lets not
          forget that little gatzenjammer
          Max, growin up without a pop. So in
          the spirit of gettin you home to
          him, we got a deal, Willi?

          WILLI
          Okay Aldo, I'm going to trust you!
          Come down, no guns!
          Aldo and Hirschberg come down the stairs, showing open hands.
          Willi keeps his machine gunn trained on them.
          Aldo with his hands up, says;

          A

          

          

          

          

          ALDO
          Hey Willi, what's with the machine
          gunny I thought we had a deal?

          WILLI
          We do have a deal, now git the girl
          and go.

          ALDO
          Not so fast, Willi, we only have a
          deal, we trust each other. A Mexican
          stand off ain't trust.

          WILLI
          You need guns on me for it to be
          a Mexican stand off.

          ALDO
          you got guns on us, you decide to
          shoot, we're dead. Up top, they got
          grenades, they drop 'em down here,
          your dead. That's a Mexican stand
          off, and that wasn't the deal.

          WILLI
          Just take that fucking traitor, and
          go! See? Now your down here
          Now you get tricky - t

          ALDO
          - No tricks!- Ain't nobody gittin
          tricky, Willi; I swear to god, I'm
          too damn dumb toget tricky. But

          (MEANING

          HIRSCHBERG)
          him and I lived upto the deal. We
          came down without guns. Now it's
          your turn. No trust,no deal.
          Willi pointing gunn at them.,,, -thinking...

          ALDO
          i know your scarred. I'm scarred,
          he's scarred, we're all scarred.
          So what's it gonnabe Willi?
          Ether we got a deal, or you might
          as well just shoot us now.
          Willi decides...
          He puts the machine gunn down on the bar.

          

          

          

          

          WILLI
          Fine. Take that fucking traitor and
          get her out of my sight.

          ALDO
          Danka, Willi, danka. okay, Hirschbeg,
          you grab her shoulder -

          WHEN...
          From behind Aldo and Hirschberg, Bridget lifts up Major
          Hellstroms Luger, and EMPTIES the remaining bullets into
          Sgt.Willi, who FALLS to the floor, DEAD.
          Aldo and Hirscberg spin around shocked.

          ALDO
          You fuckin bitch! I had a deal with
          that man!
          From the floor, the bloody, sweaty, and in excoriating pain
          (she'll probably lose that leg), German movie star, says to the
          two American soldier's she's just meeting for the first time;

          BRIDGET
          He was a enemy soldier, who knew who
          I was. He couldn't live.

          3
          Hirscberg loses control, and RICKS the woman on the floor,
          hard in the side.

          HIRSCHBERG
          I ought'a beat your fuckin head in

          ALDO
          Stop it. Just pick her up, and get
          that bitch outta here.

          HIRSCHBERG
          Aldo, she just-

          ALDO
          - She's right.

          HIRSCHBERG
          What?

          ALDO
          I said, she's right. He was a Nazi
          soldier. If he lived, he would doomed
          the mission.

          ELI

          

          

          

          
          )Is,.

          ALDO

          61

          (CON'T)
          Don't mean I like it, don't mean I
          like her, but she's right. Now as
          Willi said, "take this fuckin
          traitor, and get 'er outta my sight".

          EXT - LA LOUISIANE - NIGHT
          Hirschberg, carrying Fraulein Von Hammersmark, and Aldo emerge
          from the bowels of the basement.
          Bridget points at a fancy black sedan, telling them it's her's.
          Aldo, Hirschberg, Bridget, Donowitz, and Utivich pile in, and
          take off.

          INT - FRENCH HOUSE IN COUNTRY (BEDROOM)- NIGHT
          NOTE:In this entire scene, no French spoken will be SUBTITLED.
          A OLD MAN lies asleep under the covers of his blankets, in his
          bed, in his bedroom...

          WHEN...
          OFF SCREEN the sound of a DOOR BEING KICKED OPEN...
          r .The SOUND of what sounds like EIGHT DOGS BARKING .... and the
          sound of FEET RUNNING TOWARDS US...
          .his bedroom door, is THROWN OPEN, and Sgt.Donowitz RUSHES
          IN, grabbing the Old Man in his bed, and putting a
          45Automatic to his head.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (ENGLISH)
          Doctor? Doctor?

          OLD MAN

          (FRENCH)
          What? What's happening?
          head, shocking, Donny SLAMS the 45. hard against the Old Man's
          scarring, and bringing the old gent to attention.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (ENGLISH)
          Doctor? Are you a fucking doctor?
          He nods his head, yes.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Andi amo...

          

          

          

          
          Donny YANKS/DRAGS the Old Man out of bed, in his almost
          comical nightshirt (which makes him cuter, thus the brutality
          against him hurts more) towards the door...

          INT - DOCTORS EXAMINING ROOM - NIGHT
          .Into a doctors examining room, built into a French country
          house, with a examining table, and medical instruments.
          However, it's obviously the medical examining room
          of a veterinarian.
          Along the walls are different cages with eight excited BARKING
          dogs in it.
          The Soldiers are putting the shot in the leg, bleeding, and in
          excruciating pain, Bridget on the examining table.
          Donny, still holding on to the Old Man, points in the girls
          direction...

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (ENGLISH)
          She's been shot. Shot. Bang bang...
          (pointing at
          his leg)
          .in leg...understand?

          OLD MAN

          (FRENCH)
          No no no, I don't speak English.
          Donny jams the barrel of his 45. into the thigh of the Old Man.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (ENGLISH)
          BANG BANG - in the leg, understand!
          The Old Man nods his head yes.

          OLD MAN

          (FRENCH)
          But I'm a veterinarian ...animals...
          I take care of animals...
          Bridget screams from the table...

          BRIDGET

          (ENGLISH)
          He's a fucking veterinarian you
          imbecile!

          

          

          

          

          1 00.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          I
          It's still a doctor. If he can get
          a bullet out of a cow, he can get
          a bullet outta you.

          LT.ALDO
          Right now, we just need morphine.
          Donny yells at the Old Man;

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Morphine! We need morphine!
          The Old Man tries to explain in French, that he's not a human
          doctor...

          WHEN...
          ..Donny takes the 45. and SHOOTS one of the DOGS in the
          cages.
          Everybody jumps.
          Donny SCREAMS at the Old Man;

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          MORPHINE!!!

          7

          BANG
          He SHOOTS another dog...

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          MOREPHINE!!!
          The Old Man begs him to stop, and goes to get the morphine.

          CUT TO
          The BODY of Gestapo Major DEITER HELLSTROM dead on the floor.

          INT - LA LOUISTANE- NIGHT
          Were back in the basement tavern. Colonel Hans Landa stands
          over the corpse. He moves over to the next corpse, a smile
          breaks out on his face.
          He says in GERMAN SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          COL.LANDA
          Ahhh Hugo, you've moved up in the
          world I see. Lieutenant. And with
          your record of insubordination.
          Truly remarkable.

          I

          

          

          

          
          A Nazi soldier named HERRMAN, joins the S.S. Officer.

          COL.LANDA
          And that ones...
          (Pointing at

          WICKI)
          .name is Weiheim Wicki. Bets
          Austrian born jew, who immigrated
          to the United States when things
          began turning sour for the Israelites.
          They are the two German born members of
          The Basterds. They've been known
          to don german uniforms, to ambush squads.

          FLASH ON
          Three Nazi Soldiers walking towards a company of other German
          Soldiers. The Three Soldiers backs are to us. Dried bloody
          bullet holes cover the backs of the three uniforms.
          The SGT of the German company, yells to the trio;

          SGT.GERMAN COMPANY
          What brings you all the way out here?
          The TRIO MOW DOWN the GERMAN COMPANY with their machine gunns.

          BACK TO LANDA

          COL LANDA
          But that doesnt look like this.
          This is odd.
          Looking down he see's something...
          .bending down, he examines fraulein von Hammersmarks two
          pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.
          One shoe is covered in blood.
          The other, while blood speckled, is fairly clean.
          Picking up the clean shoe, and holding it in his hand.

          COL.LANDA
          It would appear somebodies missing.
          Somebody fashionable.
          A OFF SCREEN SOLDIER'S VOICE cries out;

          SOLDIERS VOICE(OS)
          Col, this ones still alive!
          We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt.Willi lies.
          He's shot in the chest, but it looks like Max's daddy is still
          alive.

          

          

          

          

          !!.

          INT - EXAMINING ROOM -° NIGHT
          Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.
          The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the
          German lady.

          LT.ALDO
          Now 'fore we yank that slug outta ya,
          you need to answer a few questions

          BRIDGET
          Few questions about what?

          LT.ALDO
          About I got three men dead back there,
          and why don't you try tellin us what
          the fuck happened?

          BRIDGET
          The British officer blew his German
          act, and a Gestapo Major saw it.

          LT.ALDO
          'fore we get into who shot John,
          why did you invite my men to a
          rendez-vous in a basement with a bunch
          of Nazis?

          BRIDGET
          I can see, since you didn't see
          what happened inside, the Nazi's
          being there must look odd.

          LT.ALDO
          Yeah, we gotta word for that kinda
          odd in English, it's called,
          suspicious.

          BRI DGET
          Don't let your imagination get the
          better of you, Lieutenant. You met
          the sergeant, Willi. He had a baby
          tonight. His commanding officer gave
          him and his friends the night off to
          celebrate. The Germans being there
          was just a tragic coincidence.
          Aldo thinks for a moment...

          LT. ALDO
          Okay, I'll buy that. He was ether
          there with his men waiting for us,
          or he was there celebrating his
          sons birthday, he wasn't doin both.

          

          

          

          

          120.

          LT.ALDO
          How did the shootin start?

          BRIDGET
          The English man, gave himself away.

          LT. ALDO
          How did he do that?

          BRIDGET
          He ordered three glasses.
          She holds up three fingers, index to pinky.

          BRIDGET
          We order, three glasses.
          She holds up three fingers, thumb to index.

          BRIDGET
          That's the German three. The other
          is odd. Germans would, and did notice it.

          LT. ALDO
          Okay, let's pretend there were no
          Germans, and everything went exactly
          the way it was suppose to. What would
          of been the next step?

          BRIDGET
          Tuxedos. To get them into the
          premiere, wearing military uniforms,
          with all the military there, would
          of been suicide. But going as
          members of the German film industry,
          they wear tuxedos, and blend in with
          everybody else. I arranged a tailor
          to fit three tuxedos tonight.

          LT.ALDO
          How did you intend to get them into
          the premiere?

          BRIDGET
          Hand me my purse.
          They do. And she opens it, and takes out three tickets to the
          film premiere.

          BRIDGET
          Lt.Hicox was going as my escort.
          The other two were going as a German
          cameraman and his assistant.

          

          

          

          

          INN ®

          LT. ALDO
          Can you still get us in that
          premiere?

          BRIDGET
          Can you speak German better then your
          friends, no. Have I been shot, yes.
          I don't see me tripping the light
          fantastique up the red carpet any
          time soon. Least of all by tomorrow
          night.

          (PAUSE)
          However, there's something you don't
          know. There's been two recent
          developments regarding Operation
          Kino. One, the venue has been
          changed from The Ritz, to a much
          smaller venue.

          LT.ALDO
          Enormous changes at the last minute?
          That's not very Germatic. Why the
          hell is Goebbels doin stuff so damn
          peculiar?

          BRIDGET
          It probably has something to do with
          the second development.

          LT. ALDO
          Which is?

          FLASH ON
          IN A PRIVATE DINNING ROOM IN GERMANY, The FUHRER, aka Adolph
          Hitler, aka Adolph Shicklegroover, aka The Bohemian Corporal,
          having dinner with Goebbels, only a few short days ago.
          The FUHRER

          (GERMAN)
          I've been rethinking my position in
          regards to your Paris premiere of
          "Nations Pride". As the weeks have
          gone on, and the Americans are on
          the beach, I do find myself thinking
          more and more about this Private
          Zoller. This boy has done something
          tremendous for us. And I'm beginning
          to think my participation in this
          event could be meaningful.

          BACK TO BRIDGET

          BRIDGET
          The Fuhrer's attending the premiere.

          

          

          

          

          1 2 Z.
          Donny breaks the teams silence;

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          What?

          LT.ALDO
          When the hell did this happen?

          BRIDGET
          The venue change, two weeks ago.
          The Fuhrer's attendance, four days
          ago.

          LT. ALDO
          And how come London don't know
          nothing about that?

          BRIDGET
          We need to get something straight,
          once and for all. Everything London
          knows, it learned from me. If I
          don't know, London doesn't know.
          So now, this is me, informing you,
          Hitler's coming to Paris.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          FUCK A DUCK?
          Aldo stands up from the chair, pacing as he takes in this new
          information.

          BRIDGET
          What are you thinking?

          LT.ALDO
          I'm thinking getting a wack at
          plantin ole Uncle Adolph makes
          this a horse of a different color.

          BRIDGET
          What's that suppose to mean?

          LT.ALDO
          It means, your gettin us in that
          premiere.

          BRIDGET
          I'm going to probably end up losing
          this leg, bye bye acting career,
          fun while it lasted. How do you
          expect me to walk up a red carpet?

          

          

          

          

          X73

          LT.ALDO
          The doggie docs gonna dig that slug
          outta your gam. Then he's gonna wrap
          it up in a cast, and you gotta good
          how I broke my leg mountain climbing
          story. That's German, ain't it?
          Y'all like climbin mountains,
          don'tch?

          BRIDGET
          I don't. I like smoking, drinking,
          and ordering in restaurants, but I
          see your point.

          LT. ALDO
          We fill ya up with morphine, till
          it's comin out ya ears. Then just
          limp your little ass up that
          rouge car-pet.

          BRIDGET
          Splendid. When the Nazi's put me up
          against a wall, it won't hurt
          so much.
          (Changing tone)
          I know this is a silly question
          before I ask it, but can you
          American's speak any other language
          then English?

          HIRSCHBERG
          Other then Yiddish?

          BRIDGET
          Preferably.
          Donny referring to Aldo and himself.

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          We both speak alittle Italian.

          BRIDGET
          With a atrocious accent, no doubt.
          But that doesn't exactly kill us
          in the crib. Germans don't have a
          good ear for Italian. So you mumble
          Italian, and brazen through it, is
          that the plan?

          LT. ALDO
          That's about it.

          

          

          

          

          BRIDGET
          That sounds good.

          LT. ALDO
          it sounds like shit, but what else
          we gonna do, go home?

          BRIDGET
          No, it's good. If you don't blow it,
          with that, I can get you in the
          building.
          (Change tone)
          So, who does what?

          LT.ALDO
          Well I speak the most Italian, so
          I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks
          the second most, so he'll be your
          Italian cameraman. And Hirschberg
          third most, so he'll be Donnys
          assistant.

          HIRSCHBERG
          I don't speak Italian.

          LT. ALDO
          Like I said, third best. Just keep
          your fuckin mouth shut. In fact why
          don't you start practising, right now.

          BRIDGET
          (Meaning Utivich)
          What about the little one?

          UTIVICH
          Do you mean me?

          BRIDGET
          I didn't mean any offence.

          UTIVICH
          None taken you German cunt.

          LT.ALDO
          Utivich is the chauffeur.

          UTIVICH
          I can't drive.
          Bridget SCREAMS in frustration;

          BRIDGET
          You Americans are fucking useless!

          

          

          

          

          UTIVICH
          IVGimmie a break, I'm from Manhattan.

          LT.ALDO
          No worries, son. We got over fourteen
          hours before the movie tomorrow.
          More then enough time for you to learn
          to drive.

          UTIVICH
          NO no no no, Lieutenant, it's not!

          LT.ALDO
          Oh yes yes yes yes, Private, it is.
          And yes yes yes yes, you will.
          (Changes tone)
          Look Utivich, you and I both know,
          if we went to grade school together,
          you damn sure ain't copyin off of my
          test. Well I lern't to drive in four
          hours on a Tennessee mountain road.
          And I'm a shit for brains coal miner
          bootlegger. Hirschberg, you know how
          to drive, right?

          HIRSCHBERG
          Yes.

          LT.ALDO
          Teach 'em.

          BRIDGET
          But there is a problem. I'm a movie
          star. This is a movie premiere.
          I can't show up looking like I was
          just in a Nazi gun fight. Now I
          have a dress for the premiere at my
          hotel. But sometime tomorrow, I
          have to get my hair done.
          All The Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing.

          LT. ALDO
          Sister, you must got wunderbar luck.
          Guess who went to beauty school?
          The CAMERA WHIP PANS to SGT.DONOWITZ.
          Bridget rolls her eyes.

          

          

          

          

           1 26.

          BLACK FRAME

          CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:

          CHAPTER FIVE

          "REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE"

           FADE OFF

          INT - SHOSANNAS AND MARCELS LIVING QUARTERS - NIGHT
          We're in Shosannas and Marcels living quarters, above the
          cinema. We've never been in here before.

          A SUBTITLE APPEARS ON SCREEN:

          NIGHT OF "NATION'S PRIDE" PREMIERE
          She's standing before a full length mirror, in a real
          attractive Forties style dress for the premiere. She's stunning.
          This is the first time in her life she's had the opportunity,
          or the occasion to wear something like this. Since she knows
          this is the last night of her life, no time like the present.
          SOUNDS of the hub-bub of the premiere, not to mention the
          German brass band that's blaring Third Reich Marches, can be
          heard coming from below.
          Shosanna walks to her apartment window, and looks down at the
          Germatic miasma below.
          SHOSANNAS POV: WE SEE all the pageantry below. Tons of
          SPECTATORS. Tons of guests dressed in Nazi uniforms, tuxedos,
          and female finery, walking up the long red carpet(with a big
          Swastika in the middle, naturally) leading into Shosannas
          cinema. The German brass band omm-pa-pa-ing away. German Radio
          and Film crews covering the event for the fatherland back
          home. And of course, MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS providing security
          for this joyous Germatic occasion.
          Shosanna COUGHS up a lugi, and HOCKS it.
          A GERMAN S.S. GENERAL, being interviewed by a RADIO COMMENTATOR,
          the lugi HITS him right on his bald head.
          Shosanna goes back to the full length mirror, places a very
          fashionable Forties style hat on her head, then lowers the
          period style black fish net veil over her face. She takes out
          a small GUN, and puts it in the pocket of her dress., and it's
          on. She exits the apartment door, to join the premiere.
          From this point on, there's no turning back, it's all the way
          baby, all the fucking way!

          

          

          

          

          12.7.

          INT - CINEMA STAIRWELL - NIGHT
          The stairwell in the building that connects the living
          quarters, with the cinema. She walks down the stairs, goes
          through a door that puts her next to the projection booth
          door. She takes out a key and opens it.

          INT - PROJECTION BOOTH - NIGHT
          Marcels prepping the film reels for tonight. The five silver
          metal film cans that carry one 35mm reel of film each are laid
          out. The cans for reels one and two are empty. Cans for reel
          three, our specially marked can for reel four, and can for
          reel five(which should never see the light of a projector)
          lie in wait.
          Shosanna, looking like a Forties movie star, enters the
          projection booth.
          The scene in FRENCH SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

          MARCEL
          Ooh lala, Danielle Darrieux, this
          is so exciting. Pleased to meet you.

          SHOSANNA
          Shut up fool.
          Marcel lifts up the veil covering her face, and their lips
          meet.

          SHOSANNA
          Cheeky black bugger. I have to go
          down and socialize with these Hun
          pigs. Let's go over it again?

          MARCEL
          Reel one is on the first projector.
          Reel two is on the second. Three
          and four are ready to go.

          SHOSANNA
          Okay, the big sniper battle in the
          film begins around the middle of
          the third reel. Our film, comes on
          in the forth reel, so Somewhere
          towards the end of the third reel,
          go down and lock the doors of the
          auditorium. Then take your place
          behind the screen, and wait for my
          CUE, when I give it to you, BURN IT DOWN!

          

          

          

          

          12 1.

          INT - CINEMA LOBBY - NIGHT
          The pageantry of the evening is in full swing, as all the
          German beautiful people, enter the cinema. They mingle in the
          swastika covered, greek nude statue peppered lobby. Nazi
          Military Commanders, High Ranking Party Officials, and German
          Celebrities(Emil tannings, Veit Harlin), hob knob and drink
          Champagne from passing WAITERS who carry glasses on silver
          trays.
          We see Shosanna enter from the area at the top of the big
          staircase in the lobby that overlooks the lobby parlor
          entrance. She descends the staircase, and busies herself with
          theatre stuff.
          At the top of the staircase, looking down at the master race
          in all there finery, is Colonel Hans Landa, dressed in his
          finest SS Uniform, smoking on his Calabash.

          CAMERA FRAME
          directly behind him. On the right side, we see the figure of
          Col.Landa, from behind, watching the guests entering the
          cinema. On the left side of frame, is the cinema entrance,
          from a looking down perspective of the guests entering the
          building.

          THEN...
          .A THINK BUBBLE, like in a comic book, appears on the left
          side of frame, obscuring the cinema entrance. Inside of Landas
          think bubble, a little scene plays out.

          THINK BUBBLE
          Inside a hospital room filled with DOCTORS, NURSES, and a
          PATIENT in a hospital bed. Then Col.Landa enters the room, and
          screams at everybody;

          COL.LANDA
          I want everybody out of this room!
          They start to leave.

          COL.LANDA
          That means now, goddamnit!
          They RUSH OUT.
          He walks over to the Patient in the hospital bed, Its none
          other then SGT.WILLI, and yes, he's still alive.
          Landa pulls up a chair next to the bed, sits down.

          COL.LANDA
          Can you speak, Sgt?

          

          

          

          

          L - )1.

          SGT.WILLI

          (WEAKLY)
          Yes Colonel.

          COL.LANDA
          Tell me everything that happened in
          there?
          The THINK BUBBLE DISSOLVES away, reveling the entrance again,
          and as if on perfect cue, in walks Bridget Von Hammersmark,
          dressed lovely, leg in a big white cast. The three basterds in
          their tuxedos, flank her.

          CU COL.LANDA
          smiles.
          He descends the stairs, towards the four saboteurs...
          They speak in GERMAN, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

          COL.LANDA
          Fraulein Von Hammersmark, what
          has befallen Germany's most elegant
          swan?

          BRIDGET
          Colonel Landa, it's been years.
          Dashing as ever I see.

          COL.LANDA
          Flattery will get you everywhere,
          fraulein.
          They chuckle, and air kiss.

          COL.LANDA
          So what's happened to your lovely
          leg, a by product of kicking ass in
          the German cinema, no doubt.

          BRIDGET
          Save your flattery, you old dog.
          I know too many of your former
          conquests, to fall into that honey
          pot.
          Chuckle-chuckle...

          COL.LANDA
          Seriously, what happened?

          

          

          

          

          130.

          BRIDGET
          Well, I tried my hand, foolishly I
          might add, at mountain climbing.
          And this was the result.

          COL.LANDA
          Mountain climbing? That's how you
          injured your leg, mountain climbing?

          BRIDGET
          Believe it or not, yes it is.
          A brief moment passes between the two...

          THEN...
          The Colonel BURSTS OUT with UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER. So uproarious
          in fact, that it's quite disconcerting to the four saboteurs.
          The Colonel begins to regain his composure...

          COL.LANDA
          Forgive me, fraulein. I don't mean
          laugh at your misfortune. It's just
          .mountain climbing? I'm curious
          fraulein, what could of ever
          compelled you to undertake such a
          foolhardy endeavor?
          The Double meaning is not lost on the German actress.

          BRIDGET
          Well, I chant be doing it again,
          I can tell you that.

          COL.LANDA
          That cast looks as fresh as my old
          Uncle Gustave, when were you climbing
          this mountain, last night?

          BRIDGET
          Very good eye, Colonel. It happened
          yesterday morning.

          COL.LANDA
          Hummm. And where exactly in Paris
          is this mountain?
          This stops her for a seconded.
          Then Landa laughs it off, taking them off the hook.

          

          

          

          

          13[.

          COL.LANDA
          I'm just teasing you, fraulein. You
          know me, I tease rough. So who are
          your three handsome escorts?

          BRIDGET
          I'm afraid neither three speak a
          word of German. Their friends of
          mine from Italy. This is a wonderful
          Italian stuntman, Antonio Margheriti.
          (Meaning Aldo)
          A very talented cameraman, Enzo Gorlomi.
          (Meaning Donny)
          And Enzo's camera assistant, Dominick
          Decocco.
          The German fraulein turns to the three tuxedo wearing
          Basterds.

          BRIDGET

          (ITALIAN)
          Gentlemen, this is a old friend, Col.
          Sans Landa of the S.S.
          The Basterds know only too well who Landa the Jew Hunter is,
          but they can't show it.

          LT.ALDO

          COL.LANDA
          Margheriti...?

          (ITALIAN)
          Am I saying it correctly...?
          .Margheriti?

          LT. ALDO

          (ITALIAN)
          Yes. Correct.

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          Margheriti.... Say it for me once
          please...?

          LT. ALDO
          Margheriti.

          

          

          

          

          13Z•

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          I'm sorry, again...?

          LT.ALDO
          I4argheriti.

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          Once more... .?

          LT.ALDO
          Margheriti.

          COL.LANDA
          Nargheriti.

          (FRENCH)
          It means daisies, I believe.
          Turning his gaze to Donny.

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          What's your name again?

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Enzo Gorlomi.

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          Again... .?

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Gorlomi.

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          One more time, but let me really
          hear the music in it.

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (HAMMY ITALIAN)
          Gorlomi.
          Now to Hirschberg...

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          And you?
          Then Hischberg breaks out the best Italian accent of the

          GROUP;

          

          

          

          

          )33.

          HIRSCHBERG
          Dominick Decocco.

          COL.LANDA
          Dominick Decocco?

          HIRSCHBERG
          Dominick Decocco.

          COL.LANDA
          Bravo... . Bravo.

          BRIDGET

          (GERMAN)
          Well, my two cameraman friends need
          to find there seats.
          Col.Landa stops a WAITER with a tray of champagne glasses.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          Not so fast, lets enjoy some champagne.
          Everyone gets a glass.

          COL.LANDA

          (FRENCH)
          - Oh, Mademoiselle Mimieux, please
          join us, I have some friends I'd
          like you to meet.
          Shosanna joins the circle, and is handed a champagne glass.
          This is the first moment The Basterds are aware of Shosanna.

          COL.LANDA

          (FRENCH)
          May I say Mademoiselle, you look
          divine.

          SHOSANNA

          (FRENCH)
          Merci'.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          This lovely young lady, is Mademoiselle
          Emmanuelle Mimieux, this is her cinema,
          and she is our hostess for the evening.

          (FRENCH)
          And Mademoiselle, this battered, broken,
          and none worse for the wear German
          goddess, is Bridget Von Hammersmark.

          

          

          

          

          1 3 W.

          BRIDGET
          Bonjour.

          SHOSANNA
          Bon jour.

          BRIDGET

          (FRENCH)
          I'm afraid my companions don't speak
          any French, there Italian. This is
          Antonino, Enzo, and Dominick.
          All three smile goofy spaghetti bender smiles.

          COL.LANDA

          (FRENCH)
          Actually fraulein Von Hammersmarks
          Italian associates, need help finding
          there seats. Perhaps Mademoiselle
          Mimieux would be so kind to escort
          them?

          SHOSANNA

          (FRENCH)
          It would be my pleasure. Let me see
          your tickets?
          Donny hands her two tickets. She indicates for them to follow her.
          Donny and Hirschberg both exchange one last look with Aldo,
          then follow the young french girl into the auditorium.

          INT - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
          The cinema auditorium is filling up quickly with grey and black
          uniforms.
          Shosanna finds the two counterfeit Italians their seats.
          After she points out their seats, she turns to leave...
          Hirschberg...
          .reaches out and grabs her wrist.
          He looks her in the face, and filled with tremendous guilt,
          because if he's successful tonight he's going to blow this
          cute French girl to smithereens, he says;

          HIRSCHBERG
          Grazie.

          

          

          

          
          13r.
          The cute French Girl looks back at the goofy looking Italian
          boy with slicked back hair, that makes him look kind of
          Jewish, with tremendous guilt, knowing if she is successful
          tonight, she's going to burn him alive, and says;

          SHOSANNA
          Prego.

          BACK TO LOBBY
          They begin flicking the lights on and off. A GERMAN SOLDIER
          YELLS in GERMAN in the lobby;

          GERMAN SOLDIER
          Take your seats! The show is about to
          begin! Everybody take your seatsl
          Col.Landa, Lt.Aldo, and Bridget are still together.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          I must call The Fuhrer. He doesn't
          want to make his entrance untill
          everybody seated. Come with me Frau
          Von Hammersmark. The Fuhrer has
          heard your here, and he wishes to
          commend you personally.

          BRIDGET

          (GERMAN)
          Me? Why?

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          Don't be modest. Everybody is quite
          taken with your resolve. A accident,
          like you've just experienced, and
          yet you still show up to to a
          important Party event. The Fuhrer
          was quite adamant in his gratitude.
          We'll use Mademoiselle Mimieux's office.
          (To Aldo
          in Italian)
          I'm afraid I must rob you of your
          companion, but only for a moment.

          BRIDGET

          (ITALIAN)
          Yes, apparently The Fuhrer wishes
          to commend me.

          

          

          

          

          ' 36

          COL.LANDA

          (ITALIAN)
          Wait here a moment. I promise I won't
          detain her long.
          What are ether of them suppose to do, argue?
          Col.Landa goes over to one of the Nazi GAURD/USHER, and
          whispers in his ear, gesturing toward Aldo. Like he's saying,
          leave the boy alone, till we come back... .Or is he?
          Col.Landa limps Bridget away towards Shosannas office.
          As Aldo stands in the lobby, more and more people enter the
          auditorium, till it's only Aldo and the six Nazi Gaurd/Ushers
          in the now vacant lobby.

          INT - SHOSANNA'S OFFICE - NIGHT
          Shosanna's cinema manager office. It's small, cluttered, and
          dominated by a desk.
          They both enter.
          Col.Landa closes the door behind him, and LOCKS IT.
          Bridget notices, but says nothing.
          Now the two Germans are alone.

          COL.LANDA
          Have a seat fraulein.
          Pointing at one lone chair in front of the desk.
          She lowers herself in the chair.
          Instead of moving around to the other side of the desk,
          opposite her. The SS Colonel pulls another little chair over,
          and places it in front of the fraulein.
          He sits. Their knees almost touching.
          The colonel points to the foot not in the cast.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          Let me see your foot.

          BRIDGET

          (GERMAN)
          I beg your pardon?

          

          

          

          

          1 31
          Patting his lap.

          COL.LANDA
          Put your foot in my lap.

          BRIDGET
          Colonel, you embarrass me.

          COL.LANDA
          I assure you fraulein, my intention
          is not to flirt.
          Patting his lap more with more aggression.
          The nervous fraulein, lifts up her strapy dress shoe enclosed
          foot, and places it in the Colonel's lap.
          The Colonel, very delicately, unfastens the thin straps that
          hold the frauleins shoe on her foot...
          .He removes the shoe...
          .Leaving only the frauleins bare foot...

          THEN...
          He removes from his heavy SS coat pocket, the pretty dress shoe
          the fraulein left behind at La Louisiane...
          He slips it on her foot...
          .it fits like a glove.
          Bridget knows she's BUSTED.
          Col.Landa smiles and says in ENGLISH;

          COL.LANDA
          What's that American expression...
          "if the shoe fits...you must wear it".
          He removes her foot from his lap.

          BRIDGET

          (GERMAN)
          What now Colonel?

          COL LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          Do you admit you treachery?
          She stares defiant daggers into him.

          

          

          

          

          1314

          BRIDGET

          (GERMAN)
          The only thing I will admit to, is
          resisting you...

          (ENGLISH)
          Sons-a-bitches..

          (GERMAN)
          .to my last breath.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          "Resist to your last breath"?

          SUDDENLY...
          Hans LUNGES forward, putting his strong mitts around Bridget
          Von Hammersmarks lily white delicate neck, and with all the
          violence of a Lion in mid-pounce, SQUEEZES with all his MIGHT.
          Bridgets face turns tomato RED, as the VEINS in her face
          BULGE, and her esophagus is CRUSHED in his GRIP.
          With a violent YANK, he JERKS her TO THE FLOOR. She TUMBLES
          out of the chair, Landa never releasing his GRIP around her
          throat. Nov fully on top of her, he BEARS DOWN, SQUEEZING THE
          VERY LIFE OUT OF HER. Every thing he has, he brings to bear on
          the elegant ladies neck.
          Then, to finally finish her off, he begins BANGING THE BACK OF

          HER HEAD, HARD AGAINST THE FLOOR...

          BANG!

          BANG!

          BANG?
          She's dead.
          He releases the grip around her throat. His hands are

          TREMBLING...
          He rises.
          Strangling the very life out of somebody with your bear hands,
          is the most violent act a human being can commit.
          Also, only humans strangle, the opposable thumbs being quite
          important part of the endeavor. As Hans Landa stands, the
          sheer violence he had to call on to accomplish this task,
          still surges through him. He tries to gain control of the
          trembling, that is rippling through his body. He takes out a
          silver SS FLASK(filled with peach schnapps), and knocks back
          a couple of swigs. He holds his hand out in front of him. The
          TREMBLING is beginning to subside. He picks up the telephone.

          

          

          

          

          139-
          Into the phone in German he says;

          COL.LANDA
          Inform The Fuhrer the audience has
          taken there seats, and we're ready
          to begin.
          Step one, in Hans master plan, done.
          He then dials another number...

          INT - LOBBY - NIGHT
          Aldo in the lobby...

          WHEN...
          .he's JUMPED by the SIX NAZI USHERS...
          He's THROWN ROUGHLY to the ground face first. Like the modern
          day Secret Service, within seconds, his wrists are handcuffed
          behind his back, he's searched, they find the BOMB attached to
          his ankle, it's removed, a BLACK CLOTH BAG is pulled over his
          head, then he's hoisted up, and RUSHED out of the building.
          This happens in mere seconds, and quietly too, no one in the
          auditorium is none the wiser...

          INT - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
          ,including Donowitz and Hirschberg, sitting amongst the
          master race, waiting for showtime.

          EXT - CINEMA - NIGHT
          The Six Nazi Soldiers, hustle the hooded Aldo, down the red
          carpet, then into the alley besides the cinema.
          Aldo's put up against a wall.
          Inside the black hood, he's SCREAMING every insulting thing
          about Germany, Germans, German food, German
          shepherd... anything.

          COL.LANDA'S VOICE(OS)
          Shut up!
          The faceless black hood does.
          Col.Landa, now standing directly in front of his hooded
          prisoner, says in ENGLISH;

          COL.LANDA
          As Stanley said to Livingston;
          Lt.Aldo Raine, I presume?

          

          

          

          
          I 'to.

          LT. ALDO
          Hans Landa?

          COL.LANDA
          You've had a nice long run, Aldo.
          Alas, your now in the hands of the
          SS. My hands to be exact. And they've
          been waiting along time, to touch you.
          He reaches out with his finger, and lightly touches Aldo's
          face right in the middle of the hood.
          Aldo's head VIOLENTLY FLINCHES.

          COL.LANDA
          Caught ya flinching.
          In German, he orders the men put Aldo in the back of a truck.
          Aldo, bound, and bagged, is put in the truck. Also in the
          truck is Utivich, wearing a makeshift chauffeurs uniform,
          bound, and bagged like the Lieutenant.
          The Truck drives off.
          Col.Landa turns around, and SEES FROM A DISTANCE, Hitlers
          motorcade pull up to the cinema.. Then the Fuhrer, Goebbels,
          Francesca, and the rest of the entourage, make there way down
          the red carpet into the cinema.
          Landa smiles.

          EXT TRUCK (MOVING) - NIGHT
          We see the truck leaving the city of Paris, under the veil of
          night.
          We also seem to be leaving the drama of Operation Kino.

          INT - TRUCK(MOVING) - NIGHT
          The two hooded prisoners, bounce along in the back of the
          truck.
          Utivich, is crying inside his hood.

          LT.ALDO
          Utivich?

          UTIVICH
          Is that you Lieutenant?

          LT. ALDO
          Yep.

          

          

          

          
          lyl.

          UTIVIC}I
          Do you know what happened to Donny?
          Hirchberg? The woman?

          LT.ALDO
          No I do not.

          UTIVICH
          Lieutenant, sorry I'm crying.

          LT. ALDO
          Nothin to be sorry about, son.
          This bag, get to anyone.

          UTIVICH
          Not exactly John Wayne, am I?

          LT.ALDO
          John Waynes a pampered movie star.
          He burst into tears, if his cook,
          busts his yoke at breakfast. Just
          try puttin a bag over his head, and
          hear what kinda sounds he makes.
          Utivich, giggles through the tears.

          LT.ALDO
          I just want you to know, son, I was
          real proud of you tonight. Learnin
          how to drive overnight. Driving in
          that Limo line. You was in the hot
          seat, son, and you stood up real good.
          Utivich Cries LOUDER.
          Aldo takes his foot, finds Utivichs foot, and places his foot
          on top.
          The TOUCH has a slight calming effect on Utivich.
          In the darkness, Utivich has reclaimed his dignity.

          EXT- COUNTRY TAVERN - NIGHT
          The truck pulls up to a small tavern outside of Paris(not La
          Louisaiane),
          The two hooded prisoners, are walked inside the establishment.

           INT - COUNTRY TAVERN - NIGHT
          The hooded men are lead into the closed for business, but open
          for something else, rustic tavern.

          

          

          

          
          0The Nazi Guards, unlock the handcuff, then sit them down inchairs.
          Then, simultaneously, the hoods are YANKED OFF.
          The two prisoners, are seated at a table, in what they can now
          see, is a rustic tavern. On the table is one telephone, one
          bottle of Chianti, and three glasses. And on the opposite end
          of the table, sits Colonel Hans Landa.
          A NAZI SOLDIER sits posted at  a impressive looking two way
          radio set up in the tavern.
          Colonel Lands starts in right away at the two baffled,
          discombobulated American soldiers.
          They will only speak ENGLISH in the scene.

          COL.LANDA
          Italian? Really?

          (BEAT)
          What could you have possibly been
          thinking?

          LT. ALDO
          Well, I speak alittle Italian -

          COL.LANDA
          I speak a little Tagalog, but I
          wouldn't begin to presume I could
          pass for Filipino. Don't get me
          wrong, I understand you were in a
          pickle, what with you losing your
          Germans. And I have nothing but
          admiration for improvisation.
          Still.... Chico Marx is more
          convincing. if the three of you had
          shown up to the premiere dressed
          in womans attire, it would have been
          more convincing.
          Landas eyes go to the Two Nazi Guards behind the prisoners.

          COL.LANDA

          (GERMAN)
          You may leave us. But stay alert
          outside.
          They exit, leaving the Colonel, the Lieutenant, the
          Private and a German Radio Man in the corner.

          

          

          

          

          "43'

          COL.LANDA
          So your Aldo the Apache?

          LT. ALDO
          So your The Jew Hunter?

          COL.LANDA
          Jew Hunter, (pfuit), I'm a detective.
          A damn good detective. Finding
          people is my specialty. So naturally,
          I worked for the Nazi's finding people.
          And yes, some of them were Jews.
          But Jew Hunter? Just the name that stuck.

          UTIVICH
          Well you do hafts admit, it is
          catchy.

          COL.LANDA
          Do you control the nicknames, your
          enemies bestow on you? Aldo the
          Apache and The Little Man?

          UTIVICH
          What do you mean, The Little Man?

          COL.LANDA
          The Germans nickname for you.

          UTIVICH
          The Germans nickname for me is, The
          Little Man?

          COL.LANDA
          Or "The Little One, ether one means you.
          And as if to make my point, I'm
          a little surprised how tall you
          were in real life. I mean, your a
          little fellow. But not circus midget
          little, as your reputation would
          suggest.

          LT.ALDO
          Where is my men? Where is Bridget
          Von Hammersmark?

          COL.LANDA
          Bridget Von Hammersmark. Oh I'm sure
          she's in whatever, big bubbling
          cesspool in hell, the devil reserves
          for traitors of her ilk.

          

          

          

          

          COL. LANDA

          (COR'T)
          Well, lets just say, she got what
          she deserved. And when you purchase
          friends like Bridget Von Hammersmark,
          you get what you pay for.
          Now as far as your Pisanos,
          Sgt.Donowitz, and Pt.Hirschberg-

          LT. ALDO
          How do you know our names?

          COL.LANDA
          Lt.Aldo, if you don't think I wouldn't
          interrogate every single one of your
          swastika marked survivors... .?
          We simply aren't operating on the
          level of mutual respect I assumed.
          Now, back to the whereabouts of your
          two Italian saboteurs. At this
          moment, both Hirschberg, and
          Donowitz, should be sitting in the
          very seats we left them in. Seats,
          0023 and 0024, if my memory serves.
          Explosives, still around
          there ankle, still ready to
          explode. And your mission, some
          would call a terrorist plot, as of
          this moment, is still a go.
          The two Basterds don't believe this. It can't be true.

          LT. ALDO
          That's a pretty exciting story.
          What's next, Eliza on the ice?

          COL.LANDA
          However, all I have to do, is pick
          pick up that phone right there.
          Inform the cinema, and your plans
          kupet.

          LT. ALDO
          IF, their still there, and IF their
          still alive, and that's one big IF,
          there ain't no way, you gonna take
          them boys without settin off them
          bombs.

          

          

          

          

          I R.T.

          COL.LANDA

          M
          I have no doubt, and yes, some
          Germans will die., and yes, it will
          ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels
          will be very very very mad at you
          for what you've done to his big night.
          But you won't get Hitler, you won't
          get Goebbels, you won't get Gering,
          and you won't get Boorman. And you
          need all four to end the war.

          (PAUSE)
          But if I don't pick up that phone,
          right there, you may very well get
          all four. And if you get all four,
          you end the war...tonight.
          The Nazi Colonel lifts up the bottle of Chianti, and fills
          three glasses. As he pours, he says;

          COL.LANDA
          So gentlemen, lets discuss the
          prospect of ending the war-tonight.
          All three have their Chianti filled glasses.

          COL.LANDA
          So the way I see it, since Hitlers
          death, or possible rescue, rests
          solely on my reaction...If I do
          nothing ...it's as if I'm causing his
          death, even more then yourselves.
          Would you agree?

          LT. ALDO
          I guess so.

          COL.LANDA
          How about you Uitivich?

          UITIVICH
          I guess so too.

          COL.LANDA
          Good, we more or less, all agree.
          Gentlemen, I have no intention, of
          Killing Hitler, and killing Goebbels,
          and Killing Gerring, and killing
          Boorman, not to mention winning the
          war single handedly for the allies,
          only later, to find myself standing
          before a Jewish tribunal.

          

          

          

          
          I q
          Now they get it.

          COL.LANDA
          If you want to win the war, tonight,
          We have to make a deal.

          LT.ALDO
          What kinda deal?

          COL.LANDA
          The kind you wouldn't have the
          authority to make. However, I'm sure
          this mission of yours, has a
          commanding officer? A General, I'm
          betting. For ..

          (THINKING)
          .O.S.S. would be my guess.
          Aldo's eyebrows reveal that was a good guess.

          COL.LANDA
          Oooh, that's a bingo. Is that the
          way you say it, That's a bingo?

          LT.ALDO
          You just say, bingo.

          COL.LANDA
          Bingo! How fun. But I digress, where
          were we? Oh yes, make a deal. Over
          there is a very capable two way
          radio. And sitting behind it, is a
          more then capable radio operator,
          named Herrman. Get me somebody on
          the other end of that radio with the
          power of the pen, to authorize my
          - Let's call it, the terms of my
          conditional surrender, if that taste
          better going down.

          BACK TO THE PREMIERE
          Shosanna in the booth, she brings down the lights.
          In the packed, excited auditorium, the house lights go down.
          CU CURTAIN SWITCH, she flips it.
          In the auditorium, the RED VELVET CURTAINS part.
          Shosanna, throws the lever on the first projector.

          

          

          

          
          I q7 .
          The PROJECTOR BULB goes HOT WHITE, PROJECTING A BEAM...
          FILM REELS rotate...
          35mm FILM moves through the projectors film gate...
          The opening seal of a film by The THIRD REICH flickers on the

          SCREEN...
          Goebbels and Francesca watch...
          Hitler watches...
          Fredrick watches...
          Donowitz and Hirschberg watch...
          Shosanna, in the booth, watches through the little window...
          The CAMERA PANS OFF of Shosanna, to the clearly marked film
          can, REEL FOUR. The SURPRISE REEL.

          BACK TO LANDA AND THE HASTERDS
          Landa, with radio headphones over his ears, and a microphone
          in his hand, talks to the UNSEEN/UNHEARD American Brass on the
          other end.

          COL.LANDA
          .So, when the military history of
          this night is written, it will be
          recorded, that I was part of
          "Operation Rino" from the very
          beginning, as a double agent.
          Anything I've done in my guise as a
          SS Colonel, was sanctioned by The
          O.S.S., as a necessary evil to
          establish my cover with The Germans.
          And it was my placement, of
          Lt.Raines dynamite in Hitler and
          Goebbels opera box that assured
          there demise. By the way, that last
          part is actually true.

          FLASH ON
          Landa placing bomb in Goebbels and Francesca's opera box.

          BACK TO LANDA

          COL.LANDA
          I want my full military pension and
          benefits under my proper rank.
          I want to receive the congregational
          medal of honor, for my invaluable
          assistance in the toppling of the Third
          Reich.

          

          

          

          
          He looks over and sees Aldo and Uitvich watching the one sided
          conversation.

          COL.LANDA
          In fact, I want all the members of
          "Operation Kino" to receive the
          congregational medal of honor. Full
          citizenship for myself - but that
          goes without saying. And I would
          like the United States of America to
          purchase property for me on
          Nantuckett island, as a reward for
          all the countless lives I've saved
          by bringing the tyranny of the
          National Socialist party to a
          swifter then imanged end. Do you
          have all that, sir?

          (PAUSE)
          I look forward to seeing you face to
          face as well, sir.

          (PAUSE)
          He's right here.
          The Colonel hands the headphones and microphone to Aldo.

          LT.ALDO
          Yes, sir?
          We HEAR the VOICE on the other end of the radio, give Aldo his

          ORDERS;

          RADIO VOICE(OS)
          Colonel Landa will put you and
          Private Uitivich in a truck as
          prisoners. Then he and his radio
          operator, will get in the truck,
          drive to our lines. Upon crossing
          our lines, Colonel Landa and his
          man will surrender to you. You will
          then take over driving of the truck,
          a bring them straight to me for
          debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?

          LT.ALDO
          Yes, sir.
          The Conversation is over, he puts the radio down.
          The three men look at one another.
          Landa picks up his wine.

          

          

          

          
          Ito .

          COL.LANDA
          So I suppose the only thing left to
          do is lift a glass, and toast to
          Donowitz and Hirschbergs success.
          You too Herrman, come over here.
          The four men, Col.Hans Landa, Lt.Aldo Raine, Pvt.Smithson
          Uitivich, and Herrman, lift up four glasses of wine.

          COL.LANDA
          Gentlemen, To history, and it's
          Witnesses.

          CHEERS.

          BACK TO THE PREMIERE

          WE CUT TO THE B/W FILM ON SCREEN.
          Fredrick Zoller, playing himself, is in a ornamental tower in
          a Russian village, picking off RUSSIAN SOLDIER's below.

          A RUSSIAN GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
          peering at the German Private through binoculars. He lowers
          the long range glasses, and confers with one of his OFFICERS.

          GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY

          (RUSSIAN)
          What's the death toll?

          OFFICER

          (RUSSIAN)
          47, so far.

          WE HEAR A SHOT.

          OFFICER

          (RUSSIAN)
          48. General, I implore you, we must
          destroy that tower!

          GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY

          (RUSSIAN)
          That tower is one of the oldest, and
          most beautiful structures in Russia.
          I won't be responsible for turning a
          thousand years of history into dust!
          A BRAVE RUSSIAN SOLDIER, tries to run between two buildings.
          Zoller, gets him.
          Then proceeds to pick him apart, one single bullet at a time.

          IL

          

          

          

          

          ISO.

          SHOSANNA IN PROJECTION BOOTH
          She removes "REEL 4" (The Special Shosanna Reel), and prepares
          it on the 2nd Projector. Reel3, on the first Projector,
          playing now, is halfway through. In a few short minutes, it's
          going to be show time.
          Marcel says to Shosanna in FRENCH, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

          MARCEL
          It's time. I should go lock the auditorium,
          and take my place behind the screen.
          This is the last time they will ever see each other, too much
          to say. He holds her in his arms and lays a one kiss before I
          die wet one on her.

          DONOWITZ AND HIRSCHBERG
          sit in their seats watching the movie, surrounded by DRESS
          UNIFORM NAZI'S. They've developed a dopey way of communicating
          with each other in this hostel environment.
          Basically, speaking English like it were gibberish Italian.
          They say English words, only adding a "I", or a "A", or a "O",
          to the end of it. And saying it in a exaggerated Italian
          accent, complete with pantomimes.
          Donowitz leans into Hirschberg, and says in a wispier;
          They speak in ITALIA-ISH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          SGT.DONOWITZ

          (ITALIA-ISH)
          I-a Go-a Toilet-a, Set-ta Boom-a.
          (I go to the toilet and set the bomb)
          When-a I-a Go-a, you-a Set-ta Boom-a.
          (When I go, you set your bomb)
          Hirschberg indicates/pantomimes, he can't set his bomb
          surrounded by all these Nazi's.
          Donowitz, pantomimes crossing his legs, setting bomb on ankle
          in his seat. Then getting up, and dropping it in the back of
          the auditorium, in the dark.
          Hirschberg doesn't get it.

          HIRSCHBERG
          What-a?
          (What?)
          Donny pantomimes again, more exaggerated, and with less
          patience.

          

          

          

          

          HIRSCHBERG
          Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
          (Affirmative, affirmative)

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          They-o Look-o Screen-a, Not-o You-a.
          (They're looking at the screen, not you.)

          HIRSCHBERG
          Fantastic-o.

          (FANTASTIC)

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          After-teri, Set-ta, Five-o Moment-o
          (Pointing to

          WATCH)
          You-a, Pphisst.
          (After you set the bomb, wait five
          minutes, and get out of here)

          HIRSCHBERG
          What-o?
          (What?)

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Confuse-i, confuss-i, confuss-i.
          (Confused, confused, confused.)
          What-a, and-o what-o, same-o?
          (I thought "What-a" meat "What",
          does "What-O" mean "What", as well?)

          HIRSCHBERG
          Oh-o, sorr-o, I-o ment-a "What-a".
          (Oh, sorry, I ment what.)

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          After-teri, you-a set-ta boom-a,
          five-o moment-o, you-a, fuck-o Pphisst.
          (After you set the bomb, wait five
          minutes and get the fuck out of here.)

          HIRSCHBERG
          Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
          (Affirmative, Affirmative)

          SGT.DONOWITZ
          Good-a, Luck-a.
          (Good luck.)

          

          

          

          

          15Z.
          Donowitz stands from his seat, and walks out of the dark
          auditorium, into the lobby. The Nazi Guards/Ushers are gone,
          the lobby is completely empty. Seeing the STAIRS leading down
          to the WATER CLOSET/BATHROOM, he descends them to plant
          the Boom-a, I mean, The Bomb.

          DESCENDING THE STAIRS
          leading to the Water closet. Like a lot of old cinema's, not
          only was the water closet located under the auditorium, you
          had to pass through a rather large SMOKING LOUNGE to get to
          it. In the Smoking Lounge are TEN NAZI ENLISTED MEN, the
          Guards/Ushers for the event, smoking and indulging in soldiers
          gossip. They're all in dress uniforms, and all are armed.
          Donowitz, in his tuxedo, acts cool, and walks right through
          them.
          They look up, but don't disturb there time off vibe.
          Donny enters the big Water Closet. Except for ONE LONE NAZI
          ENLISTED MAN at the urinal, it would appear as if
          Donny has the whole wash room to himself.
          He enters the privacy of a toilet stall, locks the door.

          MARCEL IN LOBBY
          He descends the stairs leading down from the projection booth,
          into the empty lobby. He goes to one of the auditorium doors,
          and peers inside.

          WE SEE THE SCREEN AND THE AUDIENCE FROM MARCELS POV:
          in the back of the room. The audience seems riveted to
          Fredrick's exploits on screen.
          Marcel closes the door, and with a KEY, DEADBOLTS it SHUT.

          INSIDE THE AUDITORIUM
          WE PAN OFF THE SCREEN to Marcel, who locks the two doors on
          ether side of the screen....due to curtains placed there, no
          one notices Marcels actions.
          Marcel then goes BEHIND THE SCREEN, WE SEE the IMAGE
          (backward) of Fredricks sniper battle HUGE COVERING ENTIRE
          SIDE ROOM ...A PILE of over300nitrate FILM PRINTS, lay like a
          junk pile, right behind the screen.
           Sitting down in a wooden chair facing the screen, and
           Pile-o-film, he lights up a cigarette, a absolute no-no in a
           cinema of this era, but tonight, what does it matter?4.
           He smokes, and waits for his cue to... .BURN IT DOWN!

          

          

          

          

          )53.

          FREDRICK IN OPERA BOX
          along side Hitler, Goebbels, Francesca, and BOORMAN. On screen
          the battle rages. He leans over and whispers something in
          Goebbels ear, we can't hear. Goebbels makes a very sympathetic
          face (at least sympathetic for Goebbels), and says in German;

          GOEBBELS
          Perfectly understandable, dear boy.
          You go now, and we'll see you after
          the show.
          He exits the opera box. And walks to the projection booth
          door. He raps on the door in a trying to be amusing way.
          The door opens, just a little bit, Shosanna not friendly,
          stares at him.
          Be, as per usual, is all smiles and charm.
          They speak in FRENCH, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

          FREDRICK
          Are you the manager, of this cinema?
          I want my money back. That actor in
          the movie stinks.
          He laughs.

          IV
          She doesn't even smile. She says, in all serious business;

          SHOSANNA
          What are you doing here?

          FREDRICK
          I came to visit you.

          SHOSANNA
          Can't you see how busy I am?

          FREDRICK
          Then allow me to lend a assist.

          SHOSANNA
          Fredrick it's not funny, you can't
          be here. This is your premiere, you
          need to be out there with them.
          As Fredrick prepares to tell his little tale, with all the
          charm at his command, Shosanna listens, knowing the third reel
          is just about over, and her big reel change is coming up.

          

          

          

          

          FREDRICK
          Normally, you would be.right.
          And for all the other films I do,
          I intend to endure evenings like
          tonight, in the proper sprit.
          However the fact remains, this film,
          is based on my military exploits.
          And in this case, my exploits
          consisted of me killing many men.
          Consequently, the part of the film
          that's playing now,... .I don't like
          watching this part.

          SHOSANNA
          Fredrick, I am sorry, but -

          FREDRICK
          - So, I thought, I'd come up here
          and do what I do best, annoy you.
          And from the look on your face, it
          would appear I haven't lost my touch.

          DONNY IN TOILET
          Sgt.Donowitz, with BOMB in his lap, sets the timer, six
          minutes from now. He then places the bomb in the back of the
          toilet tank.

          CAMERA ON FLOOR OF WATER CLOSET
          we see the tile of the floor stretch out before us. We see
          Donny's feet in the closed toilet stall. We HEAR, the OFF
          SCREEN Nazi Enlisted Man, finish his piss. Then HIS SHOES WALK
          THROUGH FRAME... .WE FOLLOW THEM TO... .The SINK...WE STAY ON
          The Shoes ...as WE HEAR The Soldier WASH HIS HANDS... THEN...
          THE CAMERA RISES UP HIS PANT LEG...Till...WE"RE EYE LEVEL with
          the German Soldier, with a ARMY CAP on his head, who's
          done washing his hands....THEN....The Soldier removes
          his cap, brushes some bangs out of his face, and WE CAN SEE

          THE SWASTIKA HAND CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD, UNDENIABLE MARK
          OF THE BASTARDS. He SPLASHES some WATER ON HIS FACE, puts his
          cap back on his head, and joins his comrades in the smoking
          lounge. As he exits FRAME, he says to somebody OFF SCREEN;

          SWASTIKA FOREHEAD

          (GERMAN)
          Hey Fritz, you owe me three cigarettes,
          now pay up.

          SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK
          Fredrick still outside the doorway, and Shosanna, still baring
          the way.

          SHOSANNA
          I have to get prepared for the reel
          change.

          

          

          

          

          FREDRICK
          Let me do it?

          SHOSANNA
          No.

          FREDRICK
          Oh please, it's been two years since
          i've done a reel change.

          SHOSANNA
          I said, no.

          FREDRICK
          (Cute whine)
          Come on, it's my premiere.

          SHOSANNA
          Are you so use to the Nazi's kissing
          your ass, you've forgotten what the
          word,°°No" means? No Fredrick, you
          can't come in here, now go away!
          No subtitles for Fredrick needed this time, he gets it.
          He does a one-armed PILE DRIVE PUSH on the door, knocking both
          it OPEN, and Shosanna back into the room.
          Fredrick, a different cat then we've seen up till now, enters
          the booth, closing the door behind him, and LOCKING it.
          The quite startled Shosanna, says to Fredrick;

          SHOSANNA
          Fredrick, you hurt me.

          FREDRICK
          Well, it's nice to know you can feel
          something. Even if it's just physical
          pain.
          Fredrick steps forward...
          Shosanna steps backwards...

          FREDRICK
          I'm not a man you say, "Go away"
          to. There's over three hundred
          dead bodies in Russia, that if
          they could, would testify to that.
          After what I've done for you, you
          disrespect me at your peril.

          

          

          

          

          156.

          BACK TO WASHROOM
          The Swastika Forehead Soldier, get a light for his cigarette.
          He takes a big drag.

          SOLDIER'S POV:
          He faces the washroom, and down that long throw, he sees Donny
          emerge from the toilet stall. His tuxedo jacket is off, and
          draped over his right hand. Sporting the white dress shirt,
          and black tuxedo vest. He's quite far away, so now he just
          looks like some guy in a tux, who just finished taking a shit.
          Donny walks toward us ...

          CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
          seeing him get closer...

          SOLDIER POV:
          Donny gets closer...

          CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
          seeing him closer still...

          SOLDIER POV:
          Donny gets closer...

          CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
          begins to notice...

          SOLDIER POV:
          Donny getting closer, begins to notice, German soldier notice
          him...

          CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
          now Donny is close enough for the Soldier to recognize. His
          face SCREAMS;

          SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
          The Bear Jew!1!
          The Soldier's GUN is out of it's holster, and rising toward
          Donny's chest...

          WHEN...
          Donny raises his right arm, with the tuxedo jacket on it, and
          FIRES a GUN concealed under it.
          HITTING Swastika Forehead in the chest...Who finishes raising
          his GUN, FIRING HITTING Donny in the chest...
          The Two Soldier's FIRE INTO each other.... Till there weapons are
          empty, and the two men lie dead on the floor.
          The Nine other NAZI'S in the room, stand shocked at what just
          happened in front of them.

          

          

          

          
          Is".

          SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK IN PROJECTION BOOTH
          Fredrick hears the gunshots below them, and turns towards the
          door.

          FREDRICK
          What the hell was that?
          While Fredrick's back is turned, Shosanna takes a GUN out of
          her pocket, and SHOOTS Fredrick THREE TIMES in the back...
          ..Be CRASHES HARD into the door, then FALLING FACE FIRST to
          the floor...
          Shosanna, gun in hand, looks out projection booth window into
          the audience...
          The ON SCREEN BATTLE rages so LOUDLY with GUNFIRE, that her
          weapon didn't stand a chance of being heard.
          Her eyes go from the audience...
          .up to the big screen...
          .Which holds FREDRICK ZOLLER in a tight handsome CLOSE UP.
          The Face on the silver screen, breaks the young girl's
          heart...
          .She looks to his body, lying face down on the floor, blood
          flowing from the holes she put in his back...
          .His body moves a little, and he lets out a painful MOAN...
          .DIEING though he is, at this moment, Fredrick is still

          ALIVE...
          Shosanna moves to him...
          ..She touches him, and he lets out another MOAN...
          .She turns his body over on it's back...
          ..he's holding a LUGER in his hand...
          .he FIRES TWICE...

          BANG BANG
          Two bullets HIT HER POINT BLANK IN THE CHEST...
          THROWING HER against the wall, then FALLING FORWARD on her
          knees to the floor...
          ..Fredrick, Luger still in hand, takes aim from the floor...

          

          

          

          

          I,

          .FIRES...
          HITTING the bloody girl on the floor, in the thigh...
          .SPINNING her BODY around in agony...
          Like he did to the Russian on screen, he picks her apart, one
          bullet at a time...

          .FIRES...

          BULLET BLOWS OFF HEEL OF HER FOOT...
          Luger drops to floor, Fredrick DIES.
          Our young French Jewish heroine, lies on the projection booth
          floor, in a pool of her own blood, her body RIDDLED with
          bullets, her nerve endings wracked with pain, CRIPPLED and

          DIEING...

          WHEN...
          ..the little bell on the 1st projector, starts to ring,
          informing the projectionist, it's time for The REEL CHANGE.
          Dieing or not, if Shosanna intends to get her revenge, she's
          going to have to lift her ass off the floor, and execute this
          fucking reel change.

          CINEMA AUDITORIUM
          The battle on screen continues waging. The audience is
          riveted.
          The FUHRER
          watches, completely caught up in the dramatic spectacle.
          He says to Goebbels in German;

          HITLER
          Extraordinary Joseph, simply
          extraordinary. This is your finest
          film yet.
          Goebbels is beyond proud, he smiles to Francesca, who proudly
          pats his hand.

          PROJECTION BOOTH
          Shosanna, bloody, crippled, and fucked, with great painful
          effort, PULLS HERSELF OFF THE FLOOR...

          AUDITORIUM
          Hirschberg, sitting in his seat, SETS the BOMB on his ankle.
          Then stands up, and begins scooting past everybody in his rows
          knees.

          

          

          

          

          PROJECTION BOOTH
          like the German heroine in one of Riefenstahl's mountain films,
          Shosanna CLIMBS UP the 35mm film projector, like it was
          Piz Palu...

          FILM ON SCREEN
          Private Zoller FIRING away from his perch. In the top far
          right corner of The FRAME. WE SEE the 1st REEL CHANGE MARK...

          PROJECTION BOOTH
          Shosanna hanging on to projector, waiting for 2nd reel change
          mark, it's a agonizing effort...

          BEHIND SCREEN
          Marcel, smoking, waiting for his cue...

          HIRSCHBERG
          get out of his xow, and begins walking up the aisle in the
          middle of the cinema towards the exit.

          ON SCREEN
          SERGIO LEONE CU FREDRICK, he SCREAMS to Russians below;

          MOVIE ZOLLER
          Who wants to send a message to
          Germany?
          In the top right of FRAME The 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON...

          PROJECTION BOOTH
          Shosanna TOSSES herself to the floor, as she THROWS THE CHANGE
          OVER SWITCH on the 2nd Projector...

          EX CU PROJECTOR BULB
          BLASTING WHITE in our face.

          SLOW NOTION

          SHOSANNA FALLING...

          EX CU 35MM FILM

          MOVING...

          SHOSANNA
          HITS the DUSTY ground HARD, NOT in slow motion...

          PROJECTOR BEAM

          SHOOTS OUT OF LITTLE PROJECTION BOOTH WINDOW
          hits screen.

          CU SHOSANNA
          on floor, eyes close, last breath blown into dusty projection
          booth floor. Like her family befor her, dead from Nazi
          bullets.



          AUDITORIUM

          ON THE SILVER SCREEN FREDRICKS EX CU

          CUT TO

          ON SILVER SCREEN MATCHING SHOSANNA EX CU
          CAMERA in the exact same placement, same background (b/w sky),
          SLIGHT LOW ANGLE LOOKING UP, so on screen Shosanna is looking
          down on the Nazi's, the way Fredrick was looking down on the
          Russians. The way this HUGE IMAGE OF SHOSANNA'S GIANT FACE stares
          down the auditorium of Nazi's, brings to mind Orwells "1984"
          Big Brother.
          HITLER and GOEBBELS
          React.

          HIRSCHBERG
          standing in the middle of the aisle, turns towards the screen.
          When he see's Shosanna's GIANT FACE, he's gobsmacked.

          BEHIND SCREEN
          Marcel sitting in the chair, with his cigarette, before the

          EVEN MORE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA.

          SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE ON SCREEN
          She stares down the packed house of Nazi's, and says
          in FRENCH;

          SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
          I have a message for Germany. I'm
          interrupting your Nazi propaganda
          horse shit, to inform you despicable
          German swine, that your all going to
          die.
          HITLER and GOEBBELS
          react.

          HIRSCHBERG
          react.

          MARCEL
          smiles.

          SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
          And I want you to look deep in the face
          of The Jew who's going to do it.

          AUDITORIUM AUDIENCE
          While the shocked German audience is transfixed to thescreen,
          behind the heads of most of them...
          The BOMB Landa set in Hitlers and Goebbels opera box...

          EXPLODES.

          

          

          

          
          BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS, HITLER, FRANCESCA, BOORMAN, and
          propelling GOEBBELS, still in his theatre seat, across the
          auditorium, into the opposite wall, and taking out a portion
          of the ceiling as well.
          The crowd reacts...
          The explosion causes the huge chandelier from Versailles, to
          topple from it's jerry-rigged placement, and CRASH on to the
          audience below...
          ON SCREEN THE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA finishes her WAR CRY.

          SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
          My name is Shosanna Dreyfus, and this is
          the face of Jewish Vengeance! Marcel,

          BURN IT DOWN!

          BEHIND THE SCREEN
          Marcel takes his cigarette, and FLICKS IT into the pile of
          nitrate film.
          ON SCREEN SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE LAUGHS MANIACALLY at the
          scrambling little Nazi's, running in a panic, as FLAMES LIKE

          OUT OF A GIANT BLAST FURNACE, BURST THROUGH SHOSANNAS FACE,
          and CLIMB UP THE WALLS of the cinema.
          The AUDIENCE
          STAMPEDES towards the exits...

          HIRSCHBERG
          with bomb set on ankle, is caught in a massive Day of the
          Locust SWARM OF BODIES...
          People frantically pound on locked doors, trapping them to
          there grizzly fate.
          The FLAMES and FIRE spread through thr auditorium...
          Hirschberg caught in people crunch, knows this is it.

          HIS ANKLE BOMB GOES OFF
          right underneath everybody in the room.
          The effect this has on the people in the room, is very similar
          to that of the effect a M-80blowing up in a ant hill, would
          have on the ants. The auditorium is a literal red rain of legs,
          arms, heads, torsos, and asses.

          THEN...

          DONOWITZ TOILET BOMB
          BLOWS UP UNDERNEATH the auditorium.

          

          

          

          
          16z.

          COLLAPSING THE CINEMA, AND BLOWING OUT THE FRONT OF THE

          THEATRE.
          As MADAM MIMEUX'S CINEMA BURNS...
          Theses SUBTITLES APPEAR ON SCREEN as if on a military

          TELETYPE:

          "OPERATION KINO A COMPLETE SUCCESS".

          FADE OUT

          FADE UP

          "HITLER DEAD. GOEBBELS DEAD. BOORMAN DEAD.

          GERING DEAD. ZOLLER DEAD. MOST OF HIGH COMMAND

          DEAD"

          FADE OUT

          FADE IN

          "FOUR DAYS LATER, GERMANY SURRENDERS"

          FADE OUT

          FADE IN

          "ONCE UPON A TIME IN NAZI...

          OCCUPIED FRANCE".

          CUT TO

          EXT -- WOODS - MORNING
          It's a misty early morning, in the woodsy area. The German
          truck, with Aldo and Uitvich in the back, and Landa and
          Herrman in the front comes to stop.
          LANDA and HERRMAN IN TRUCK CAB
          Herrman, behind the wheel, tells Landa in German;

          HERRMAN
          These are the American lines, sir.
          In the back of the truck, sit the two last remaining members
          of The Basterds, Lt.Aldo Raine, and Prvt.Smithson Uitivich,
          both with their hands cuffed behind there back.
          Landa and Herrman appear at truck rear, says in ENGLISH;

          COL.LANDA
          Okay Gentlemen, you can climb down.          

          

          143
          Aldo and Uitivich climb down from the truck.
          Col.Landa indicates for Herrman to remove the handcuffs from
          the two prisoners.
          He does.

          COL.LANDA
          Herrman, hand them your weapon.
          He does.
          Col.Landa hands over his LUGER, and his very cool looking SS

          DAGGER.

          COL.LANDA
          I am officially surrendering myself
          over to you, Lt.Raine. We are your
          prisoners.

          LT.ALDO
          Thank you very much Colonel. Uitivich,
          cuff the Colonel's hands behind his
          back.

          COL.LANDA
          Is that really necessary?
          As Uitivich cuffs the. Colonels hands behind his back, Aldo

          SAYS;

          LT.ALDO
          I'm a slave to appearances.
          Then Aldo takes the Luger, and SHOOTS HERRMAN DEAD.
          The bound Col.Landa is appalled.

          COL.LANDA
          Are you mad? What have you done? I made
          a deal with your General for that mans
          life!

          LT. ALDO
          Yeah, they made that deal, but they
          don't give a fuck about him, they
          need you.

          COL.LANDA
          You'll be shot for this.

          

          

          

          
          t 6 q.

          LT.ALDO
          Raw I don't think so, more like I'll
          be chewed out. I've been chewed out
          before. You know, Uitvich and myself,
          heard that deal you made with the Brass.
          End the war tonight? I'd make that deal.
          How bout you Uitivich, you make that
          deal?

          UITIVICH
          I'd make that deal.

          LT.ALDO
          I don't blame ya. Damn good deal.
          And that pretty little nest ya
          feathered for yourself. Well, if
          your willing to barbecue the whole
          high command, I suppose that's worth
          certain considerations. Now I don't
          care about you gettin pensions,
          merit badges, ticker tape parades,
          who gives a damn, let's all go home.
          But .1do have one question?
          When you go to your little place on
          Nantuckett Island, I image you gonna
          take off that handsome looking SS
          uniform of yours, ain't ya?
          For the first time in the movie, Col.Landa doesn't-respond.

          LT.ALDO
          That's what I thought. Now that...
          .I can't abide. How bout you
          Uitivich, can you abide it?

          UITIVICH
          Not one damn bit, sir.

          LT.ALDO
          I mean if I had my way, you'd wear
          that goddamn uniform for the rest of
          your pecker suckin life. But I'm
          aware that's ain't practical. I mean
          at some point ya gotta hafta take it
          off.
          He opens LandaSS DAGGER, and holds the BLADE in front of Hans
          face.

          LT.ALDO
          So I'm gonna give you a little
          somethin you can't take off.

          CUT TO

          
          16c.

          CU COL.LANDA
          The Dagger has just completed carving a swastika deep into his
          forehead.

          COL.LANDA'S POV:
          On the ground, looking up at Aldo, bloody knife in hand, who
          straddles him.. And Uitivich, who's next to him. The two
          Basterds admire Aldo's handiwork.

          LT.ALDO
          You know somethin Uitivich, I think
          this just might be my masterpiece.



          END
 


Inglourious Basterds



Writers :   Quentin Tarantino
Genres :   Action  Adventure  War


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