"THE ITALIAN JOB"
Screenplay by
Donna Powers and Wayne Powers
Based on the 1969 screenplay by
Troy Kennedy-Martin
December 21, 2001
FADE IN:
EXT. THE PORT OF GENOA, ITALY - NIGHT
Forklifts RUMBLE. Workers WIPE FRAME. All the bustle and
cacophony of a major seaport.
We FIND ourselves focusing on ONE LARGE CRATE. With the
GRINDING of gears, a crane lifts it off the dock and carries
it onto a ship.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - SAME TIME
Through night-vision binoculars, CHARLIE CROKER, 28, watches
the mysterious crate. Charlie is young to run his own crew
but he's a born leader.
CHARLIE
Lyle?
SWISH PAN TO: LYLE, 21, brilliant and punctilious, fingering
the keyboard of his strap-on supercharged laptop.
LYLE
I've got the orbital data and SV
clock corrections for each satellite
that gets the signal. That'll make
my reading as solid as the Precise
Positioning Service that only the
D.O.D. can use. We're talkin' 100
meter horizontal accuracy, 156 meter
vertical accuracy, .340 nanoseconds
time accuracy.
SWISH PAN TO: STEVE, 30, bearded. Steve has an arrogant
confidence mixed with the hint of a smile.
STEVE
Why can't he talk like a person?
CHARLIE
...Because he's not.
LYLE
I do need one more thing, Charlie.
CHARLIE
What's that?
LYLE
Someone to turn the goddamn homing
device on. No signal, no score.
CHARLIE
(to Steve)
Where're the Italians?
STEVE
Patience.
INT. HUMVEE (MOVING) - SAME TIME
The driver is HANDSOME ROB, 30. Riding shotgun is HALF-EAR,
35, immersed in a book: Albert Einstein Creator & Rebel.
Half-Ear is a large black man with a Southern accent and a
hearing aid.
HANDSOME ROB
What's that shit?
HALF-EAR
A book. It's called reading. You
should try it some time.
Handsome Rob holds up three fingers.
HANDSOME ROB
You wanna read something. Read between
the lines.
HALF-EAR
Well here's something even you can
relate to. Albert got a lotta trim.
That genius thing is a babe magnet.
HANDSOME ROB
Lemme see that book.
INT. HOTEL JEWELRY SHOP - SAME TIME
The final member of the crew, JOHN BRIDGER, 50s, is a tasteful
man buying a very tasteful, and very expensive, diamond
necklace. The saleswoman wraps it up as he dials a number on
his cell phone.
STELLA (V.O.)
Hello?
JOHN BRIDGER
Hi, sweetie.
INT. STELLA'S CONDO - PHILADELPHIA - INTERCUT
STELLA BRIDGER, 27, crushingly attractive, has just stepped
out of the shower, hair still wet, body wrapped in a towel.
STELLA
Daddy. How are you?
JOHN BRIDGER
I'm sending you something.
STELLA
Really? Does it smell nice?
JOHN BRIDGER
No. But it's sparkly.
STELLA
Does it come with a receipt?
JOHN BRIDGER
I'm having it sent to you from the
store.
STELLA
(toweling her hair)
Why not bring it by yourself? We
could have dinner.
He leaves the store and heads for the HOTEL ELEVATOR.
JOHN BRIDGER
Be a long trip. I'm in Genoa.
She doesn't like the sound of that.
STELLA
Let me guess. Checking out the
birthplace of Christopher Columbus.
JOHN BRIDGER
Something like that.
STELLA
With your parole officer's approval.
He steps into the elevator. Rides up.
JOHN BRIDGER
I think I've paid my P.O. my last
visit. I liked the guy, but we never
really connected.
STELLA
What are you into, Dad? Don't break
my heart. You told me you were
through.
JOHN BRIDGER
After this, I swear to you, I am.
STELLA
You promised me. Daddy, don't do
this.
The elevator door opens, Bridger steps out and starts down
the hall.
JOHN BRIDGER
Everything's going to be fine. I've
got to go now. I love you. Bye.
He clicks off then uses his card key to step into the --
INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He eyes Charlie, who looks pretty tense.
JOHN BRIDGER
Italians?
CHARLIE
Not yet.
STEVE
Don't worry, they'll come through.
You can trust these guys.
JOHN BRIDGER
I trust everyone. It's the devil
inside them that I don't trust.
(then, to Charlie)
Got a sec?
CHARLIE
My office.
INT. HOTEL BATHROOM - NIGHT
They step inside, Charlie closing the door.
JOHN BRIDGER
How you feeling, boss?
CHARLIE
Fine. I'm fine, fine.
Bridger seems amused by that answer.
JOHN BRIDGER
You know what fine, stands for, don't
you? Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic,
and Emotional.
CHARLIE
You've become quite the philosopher
since you quit drinking.
JOHN BRIDGER
You don't like me sober?
CHARLIE
No, I'm glad. Makes you a better
thief.
Bridger pulls out a fine cigar, still in its wrapper, hands
it to Charlie.
JOHN BRIDGER
For after the haul.
CHARLIE
Hope I get to fire it up. If Steve's
Italians are a no-show, it's three
months prep down the shitter and
I've dragged you out of retirement
for nothing.
JOHN BRIDGER
This is kinda nice. You being the
boss with all the worries, me just
along for the ride.
CHARLIE
Ain't you sweet...
From the other side of the door, they HEAR --
STEVE (O.S.)
Charlie!
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Charlie takes the binoculars from Steve. He SEES TWO ITALIAN
CUSTOMS INSPECTORS climbing onboard the ship.
CHARLIE
Your Italians.
STEVE
Yup. Dixie cups.
CHARLIE
Dixie cups?
STEVE
I toss 'em away if there's a problem
down the road.
EXT. SHIP - NIGHT
In ITALIAN, the Inspectors quiz the NERVOUS CAPTAIN about
the mysterious crate.
One Inspector takes a crowbar and yanks out several strips
of plywood, REVEALING unmarked cardboard boxes inside. The
other Inspector pulls out one of the boxes and tears it open.
It is filled with tomatoes. He takes a bite out of one.
Nods. Everything seems to be order. The Captain looks
relieved. The inspector closes the cardboard box but...
Watch carefully now, because as he does this, he hits a power
button on a small HOMING DEVICE and stuffs it in with the
tomatoes...
INT. HOTEL ROOM - SAME TIME
On Lyle's computer screen, a pulsating dot appears, BEEPING,
sending out precise longitude and latitude.
LYLE
For those about to rock, we salute
you.
Charlie dials his cell phone.
INT. HUMVEE (MOVING) - INTERCUT
Handsome Rob answers.
HANDSOME ROB
Yeah.
CHARLIE
Let's get rich.
Handsome Rob pulls over. They're at the port. They can see
the mysterious crate being lowered into the ship's hold.
Half-Ear climbs out, taking a large duffel bag with him.
CUT TO:
EXT. SHIP (DOCKED) - LATER, NIGHT
The Captain is doing his final checks before launch. OUR
CAMERA DROPS to --
BENEATH THE WATER
where we FIND Half-Ear, in scuba gear, applying Nitramon
explosive primer to the hull of the ship.
INT. HUMVEE (MOVING) - NIGHT
Plowing through thick brush that breaks out onto a secluded
beach. Handsome Rob is still behind the wheel but now Steve
is in the passenger seat. Lyle, in the back, is still on the
laptop, legs fidgeting like a drummer on meth. POP goes his
bubble gum.
HANDSOME ROB
Can you chill out back there? You'd
make a hummingbird nervous.
EXT. UNDERNEATH THE SHIP - NIGHT
Half-Ear finishes up. Speaks into the headset inside his
gear.
HALF-EAR
I'm done. Over.
LYLE (V.O.)
Copy that. Enjoy the ride, cowboy.
Half-Ear grabs onto the bottom rung of a ladder that is bolted
to the side of the ship as it launches off the dock and into
deeper water.
CUT TO:
TWO BRIGHT CIRCLES IN A SEA OF DARKNESS
Coming closer... becoming clearer... It's Charlie and John
Bridger, in scuba gear, riding torpedo-shaped Dive Propulsion
Vehicles (DPVs) that pull them through the deep blue sea at
a good 5 m.p.h. Both DPVs drag equipment bags.
A Global Satellite Positioning Device is mounted on the
handlebar of Charlie's DPV, being fed information via Lyle's
laptop. A circle pulsates on the monitor, a beacon to the
crate in the ship.
EXT. UNDER THE BOAT - NIGHT
Half-Ear still clings to the ladder. It's a wild ride.
Through the headset inside his gear, he HEARS:
LYLE (V.O.)
Get ready. 3. 2. 1. Drop.
Half-Ear lets go of the ladder. The ship's propellers speed
by just above his head. WHOOSH.
He removes a radio-controlled detonator. Hits the button.
EXT. SHIP - ON THE CUT
The hull of the boat EXPLODES.
INT. SHIP'S HOLD
A very neat hole on the bottom of the boat beneath the crate
is opened. Water RUSHES IN and the crate falls right through
the cavity, vanishing.
UNDERWATER
The huge, heavy crate drops down... down... hits the bottom.
ON THE SHIP
Chaos rules. She's taking on water fast. No way to save her.
The captain orders the dinghy lowered into the water.
INT. HUMVEE - NIGHT
Parked in the sand at the top of the bay. Steve looks out to
the bay through infrared binoculars.
The ship is going down. The crew on the dingy head back to
the port, which is in the opposite direction of this beach.
EXT. THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA - NIGHT
The DPVs are now attached by a tether to an underwater lifting
bag that is used to move heavy loads through water.
The crate is surrounded by our three diver-bandits.
Using crowbars they pull apart the plywood. The cardboard
boxes of tomatoes dump out, tomatoes spilling everywhere.
And now we see what was hidden between the boxes...
A large safe.
They move like clock-work. Half-Ear aims an underwater light
at the dial. Charlie drills a small hole near the dial.
John peers inside a horoscope and lines up the three wheels
of the combination lock... until the door pops open.
As they stare at what's inside, they speak into their
headsets, heard by all.
CHARLIE
Sweet Jesus.
JOHN BRIDGER
"That for which all virtue is sold.
And almost every vice -- gold."
And now we see the contents of the safe: 160 glistening GOLD
BRICKS. Made in Singapore, they weigh 25 pounds and each one
is decorated with the face of an exotic Balinese girl. We're
talking thirty million dollars worth of gold.
INT. HUMVEE (PARKED) - NIGHT
They holler and high-five and it's just a great moment to be
alive. Steve takes another peek through his infrared
binoculars and sees --
The last vestiges of the ship hang above the waterline, then
disappear.
EXT. UNDERWATER - A LITTLE LATER
The gold is now stacked and secured on the lifting bag.
They attach an underwater parachute to the bag and hook a
hose from an air tank into press of a pressure release valves
which cause the parachute to INFLATE.
Looking like a hot-air balloon underwater, the whole thing
floats up about fifteen feet. Half-Ear holds onto its side,
going along for the ride.
Then Charlie and John Bridger speed off on the DPVs which
are tethered to the inflatable bag. As they glide through
the water towards the secluded beach, we...
CUT TO:
EXT. MOUNTAINOUS ROAD - FIRST LIGHT OF DAWN
The Humvee climbs into the mountain ranges of the Alps.
INT. HUMVEE (MOVING)
The gold is in three crates in the cargo bay.
Handsome Rob and Steve are still up front. The others are in
the back seats, the divers out of their scuba gear. They are
pouring champagne into paper cups; except for Bridger who
abstains. He holds up his empty cup.
JOHN BRIDGER
My name is John and I'm a very rich
alcoholic. And I'm going to live my
life one very rich day at a time.
THE CREW
Alright, John!
They laugh and pound their fists against the roof of the
Humvee. Charlie pulls out the cigar Bridger gave him. As
Bridger lights it for him --
JOHN BRIDGER
You planned this one down to a t,
kid. It's a gift. You saw the big
picture, made contingencies, covered
the angles...
Hearing this, Steve looks a little jealous.
JOHN BRIDGER
Shit, you made thirty million dollars
in gold drop out of sight without
holding a gun. Who else could've
pulled that off?
CHARLIE
You could've. I had big shoes to
fill.
JOHN BRIDGER
Fill the shoes but don't follow the
footprints.
CHARLIE
What're you talking about? You've
lived the life.
JOHN BRIDGER
My life's been nothing but fake IDs,
fake business cards and divorce
papers. This is the only thing that's
real.
Bridger shows him a photograph of Stella that he keeps in
his wallet.
CHARLIE
Stella's a beautiful girl.
JOHN BRIDGER
She's amazing. And I spent half her
childhood in prison. This is a once
in a lifetime haul, Charlie. Bring
down the curtain after this one.
Make a new life. Find someone amazing
and be there for her.
As the advice escapes Bridger's mouth --
EXT. MOUNTAINOUS ROAD
A Jeep thunders out of a hiding place in the trees and blocks
the road. The Humvee brakes to avoid running into it.
HANDSOME ROB
Shit.
Click. That's the sound of a gun cocking as it's pressed
against Handsome Rob's temple.
STEVE
Anyone acts stupid and his brains go
on the windshield.
They see the two Italian Inspectors jump out of the Jeep, AK-
47s leveled at the crew. Steve has double-crossed them.
ON THE CREW: shocked would be a good place to start.
CHARLIE
What the hell do you think you're
doing?
STEVE
Sorry Charlie. But I want the box of
Cracker Jack all to myself.
The Italians pull the crates of gold out of the back of the
Humvee.
CHARLIE
You're not thinking this through.
It's a stupid move.
STEVE
Think so? Well you're the brilliant
one. The Master Planner. Isn't that
so, John?
Steve climbs out of the Humvee, gun still on Handsome Rob,
the AK-47s aimed at the others.
STEVE
You bet on the wrong horse.
JOHN BRIDGER
We'll hunt you down. You're gonna
regret this.
EXT. HUMVEE
Safely outside, Steve turns his gun on Bridger.
STEVE
No regrets, Dixie cup.
BOOM. He shoots Bridger in the head. Just like that.
The Italians follow suit, AK-47s SCREAMING out bursts of
full automatic fire at the crew.
INT. HUMVEE
They duck for cover as the vehicle is riddled with gunfire.
Glass shatters. Bullets ricochet. They're in the epicenter
of hell.
Handsome Rob jerks the steering wheel and stomps the gas.
Driving blind.
EXT. MOUNTAINOUS ROAD
The Humvee hits the side of the Jeep, grinds alongside it,
metal tearing against metal.
The Humvee's right side tires precariously hover by the cliff
and the raging water below.
The gunners keep FIRING. Bullets rip into the Humvee's tires.
EXT. HUMVEE
It almost escapes, but it can't make it on shredded rubber.
It careens off the road and --
SERIES OF SHOTS
The Humvee plummets through the air and plunges into the
raging river.
INT. HUMVEE
Water cascades in through the open windows. They're thrown
around as the Humvee rides the rapids. WHAM. The passenger
door caves in as the Humvee rams into a large rock then is
swept further downstream. Through the foam and spray, Charlie
looks over to Bridger. He's dead. The torrent ROARS.
Only their chests and heads are above water. And that's not
all. There's a WATERFALL AHEAD.
EXT. WATERFALL
The Humvee is palmed in its deadly embrace and hurled over.
It cartwheels into the pool below, sending up a huge geyser
of water.
It sinks out of sight.
EXT. MOUNTAINOUS ROAD - SAME TIME
The crates of gold are now inside the Italians' Jeep. Steve
climbs in, leaving the crew for dead.
UNDERWATER - SAME TIME
The Humvee strikes the surface bottom with an ominous thud.
EXT. MOUNTAINOUS ROAD - DAWN
The Jeep jerks to a stop. A door opens and the bodies of the
two Italians, shot dead, are dumped out into the mud.
Steve is alone now. Just him and the millions in gold.
INT. HUMVEE - SAME TIME
The water entombs them. Blood from Bridger's fatal gunshot
mists the water red.
They manage to get the door open. They start to swim out but
Charlie won't go without Bridger. He grabs his friend's body
and pulls it up with him.
EXT. RIVER - SUNRISE
They drag themselves ashore, Handsome Rob helping Charlie
pull Bridger's corpse. Charlie is shocked, tormented, grieved,
and angry beyond description. Against the rocky embankment,
he holds Bridger. Not wanting to ever let go.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
If you would have told me that I
would spend the next three years
searching for Steve Bandell, I would
have said that was nothing. Cause I
would have spent a lifetime looking
for that bastard if I had to.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. OFFICE - DAY
SOMEONE'S POV. A top of the line safe. The only light in the
office is the beam of a penlight on the dial.
GLOVED HANDS spin the dial, feeling for "contact points",
areas on the dial where a slight resistance can be felt --
if you have the touch.
NEW ANGLE. A woman holds the penlight in her teeth while
trying to crack the safe. It's Stella Bridger, now 30.
SUPERIMPOSE:
Three Years Later Philadelphia
She manipulates the dial. Click. She grabs the safe's lever
and swings the heavy steel door open, her face a mixture of
pride and relief. But before we see what's inside -- LIGHTS
TURN ON.
TWO COPS lurk at the doorway.
FIRST COP
You always work in the dark?
STELLA
Buzz of the fluorescents throws me
off. She's all yours.
The cops come closer and only now do we realize that they're
on the same team.
SECOND COP
Damn. Chris Perley couldn't crack
it. Neither could Michael Hoyt.
STELLA
Now you know who to call first.
FIRST COP
You're expensive, Stella. Those guys
cut us a break on subpoena jobs.
Goodwill, community service...
STELLA
Well I do it for the money. I'll
send you the bill.
SECOND COP
Don't you want to see what's inside?
STELLA
I never look. Bye, guys.
And as she walks off, they do look -- at her.
EXT. STREET - DAY
A car RISES INTO FRAME on a bustling street: a 1960 Mini
Cooper S., a worldwide motoring icon. Its shape crouches low
to the ground and its tiny 10-inch wheel-at-each-corner gives
it the legendary Mini look.
If when you see its headlights and classic grille it doesn't
bring a smile to your face, then you've got no automobile
soul.
INT. MINI (CRUISING) - DAY
Stella takes on the road like someone who loves to be behind
the wheel of a car that claimed victory in the Monte Carlo
Rally three times. She passes a minivan, a breeze with the
Mini's quick, go-kart-like handling.
She searches for a parking space on a street lined with SUVs.
Sees a spot, it's not really a space, just a gap between two
gas guzzlers, there's no way any car could squeeze in.
Brake. Shift. Hard turn. She parallel parks the Mini with
ease. She's right in front of --
HER SHOP
Antique keys and locks dominate the storefront window with
the name of the shop stenciled across the glass: BRIDGER
LOCK AND SAFE COMPANY. Stella hops out of the Mini. With a
poised walk she heads inside.
INT. SHOP - DAY
It is filled with old cast-iron safes she has rebuilt along
with some new models. Stella's RECEPTIONIST greets her.
RECEPTIONIST
How long?
STELLA
Four minutes, forty-three seconds.
High-five.
RECEPTIONIST
You're the man.
STELLA
So what's on the line-up?
RECEPTIONIST
2:00. Home safe in Fairmount Park.
Owner died and the wife never knew
the combination. And Todd Milliken
called. He has a prototype combination
lock he wants you to test out tomorrow
morning. Says he added two false
contact points on the tumbler.
STELLA
Tell him if I don't have it opened
in six minutes flat, breakfast is on
me.
RECEPTIONIST
And there's a Charlie Croker in your
office. He said you two know each
other.
(an aside)
And he looks pretty fine for a white
boy.
Without a response, Stella heads over to --
HER OPEN OFFICE DOOR
and sees him fiddling with her collection of safe doors that
line the shelves.
STELLA
Charlie Croker.
He turns around. Smiles. Charming.
CHARLIE
Hi, Stella.
She steps inside.
STELLA
Refresh my memory. After you came to
see me and told me what happened to
my father, I told you I never wanted
to see you again, didn't I?
CHARLIE
Yeah. You did.
STELLA
So I'm a little confused.
CHARLIE
I found him.
At first it seems that Charlie's words have no effect on
her, but then he notices that her hands are trembling.
CHARLIE
I can tell you where he is.
STELLA
I don't want to know.
CHARLIE
Are you sure?
She doesn't answer.
CHARLIE
He's in Los Angeles.
She doesn't respond. Doesn't ask him to go on, doesn't ask
him not to. So he goes on...
CHARLIE
The gold bricks he stole from us
were minted in Singapore and decorated
with the face of a Balinese girl.
I've had my tentacles out and got a
call from a friend of mine and your
father's, Philly Steak.
Stella remembers him.
STELLA
When I was little he would play poker
at the house and drop quarters under
the table for me to find.
CHARLIE
He got word from an L.A. connection
named Skinny Pete that a gold dealer
has been buying bricks with the
Balinese girl on them, three or four
at a time.
STELLA
You ever heard the expression, cut
to the chase?
CHARLIE
I tracked Steve down to an address
in the Hollywood Hills. He's changed
his last name to Frezelli. And get
this: he had a Worthington 1000
installed in the house before he
even moved in. We both know that you
don't install a Worthington 1000
unless you have something precious
to guard.
STELLA
Precious or not, I don't deal with
ill-gotten goods.
CHARLIE
We boosted that gold from a terrorist
group that was about to trade it for
bio-weapons. Now that doesn't exactly
make us Robin Hood, but maybe in our
own little way we were doing a good
deed. Problem is, no one in my crew
can handle that safe. And I need
someone I can trust.
STELLA
And you think that's me? Haven't you
heard that I work for the other side?
CHARLIE
What I heard is that you have your
father's touch. And he was the only
safecracker I knew who could open a
Worthington 1000.
STELLA
I'm not a safecracker. I'm a
professional safe and vault
technician.
CHARLIE
You're John Bridger's daughter. And
this is our chance to set things
right.
That sets her off.
STELLA
Our chance? Who do you think you are
coming in here? Stealing the gold
isn't going to bring my father back
to life.
CHARLIE
No, it won't.
STELLA
Then get out.
EXT. STREET — DAY
Charlie comes out of her shop and starts down the sidewalk.
Suddenly, Handsome Rob appears out of the crowd and is walking
next to him.
HANDSOME ROB
How'd it go with the chick?
CHARLIE
I'm working on it.
HANDSOME ROB
I don't want her on the crew, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Gotta have her. Important piece of
the puzzle.
HANDSOME ROB
There has to be someone else. What
about Bill Huchins?
CHARLIE
Doing ten long at Levinworth.
HANDSOME ROB
Red O'Reilly?
CHARLIE
Chemo.
HANDSOME ROB
Martin Hernandez?
CHARLIE
Found Jesus.
Handsome Rob stops Charlie.
HANDSOME ROB
I don't want a civilian to screw
this up.
CHARLIE
She has the skill. And the motivation.
HANDSOME ROB
Exactly. She's emotional. You know
what happens when emotion gets into
it.
CHARLIE
It's emotional for all of us at this
point. Don't kid yourself.
INT. EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT/BAR - NIGHT
RICHARD WORTH has his back to the bar. He's a blue blood
trial lawyer with an ego that has more horsepower than a
Ferrari.
RICHARD
It's all in my patented sideways
glance. Like this...
He gives a sideways glance to Stella; it's their first date.
RICHARD
I hit each woman on the jury with
one of these. We make contact. And I
know exactly what they're doing.
Undressing me with their eyes.
STELLA
I see...
What a nightmare. Someone bumps into Stella, a mumbled,
"Excuse me." Nightmare continues...
RICHARD
The case is all but won. That's why
in jury selection I choose as many
women as possible. Except lesbians,
of course. I can tell in sixty seconds
if they're a lesbian. Want to know
how I know?
STELLA
If they don't undress you with their
eyes?
RICHARD
Precisely. Like that waitress right
there. See? She's looking at me right
below my belt. Definitely not a
lesbian.
A waitress is indeed looking below Richard's belt. But Stella
notices that she was only looking because Richard's zipper
is all the way down. She smiles.
STELLA
Your fly.
RICHARD
I am fly. And I'm da bomb. Just wait
until later tonight.
Suddenly a BUSBOY stumbles and a tray of drinks fall, soaking
Richard's suit in red wine.
BUSBOY
Oh, man. I'm sorry.
RICHARD
You should be. Moron. What the hell's
wrong with you?
BUSBOY
It was an accident. I'm very sorry.
RICHARD
Where's the manager? Richard Worth
is not paying to have his suit
cleaned. Damn.
(to Stella)
I'm going to... I don't believe this.
He starts off to the bathroom and as soon as the space he
was occupying empties, Charlie fills it.
CHARLIE
I think your date's going pretty
well, what do you think?
She shoots him a look that could reverse global warming.
STELLA
What are you doing here?
CHARLIE
What do you mean? I come here all
the time.
STELLA
I don't think so.
CHARLIE
Sure. Lawyers, Judges, my kind of
crowd. See that gentleman there, he
sentenced me to 90 days in county
once. We need to talk.
STELLA
No, you need to listen. I want you
to leave. Got it?
CHARLIE
Hey, I paid valet parking prices to
get in here, not to mention a twenty
spot to the busboy to spill that
drink on Mister Zipper.
STELLA
You -- I don't believe this. You
paid someone to spill that drink?
CHARLIE
Actually, you paid for it.
Charlie returns her wallet.
CHARLIE
Didn't notice it was me who bumped
into you earlier, did you? Anyway, I
was hoping we could get to know each
other a little better before we leave
for Los Angeles. I already booked
your flight.
STELLA
You truly are a fatuous, odious man.
CHARLIE
I have no idea what you just said,
but I like the sound of it.
STELLA
Well maybe you'll understand this.
Hit the road, Jack --
CHARLIE
Charlie --
STELLA
Or you'll be sorry, Charlie, cause
I'll kick you in the nuts so hard
that your voice will be as high as
my heels.
She means it, too.
CHARLIE
I'm beginning to worry about this
whole relationship.
STELLA
I'll let you in on a secret. You
can't have a relationship with a
pickpocket, gold robber, or any kind
of thief.
Charlie looks away, lets her have her point. This whole thing
is getting pretty heated so when he turns back to her, he
uses a whole new approach. His emotions are genuine.
CHARLIE
John wasn't just a man I crewed up
with, he was my friend, he was the
closest thing to a father I ever
had. I wish to God I could bring him
back. But all I can do is go after
this guy, the guy that killed him,
and hit him where he lives.
She feels the honesty in his words but before she can reply,
they're interrupted by --
RICHARD
Everything alright, Stella?
He's back, red wine splotched on his suit.
STELLA
Fine. Richard. Charlie. Charlie was
just saying goodbye.
But for now, Charlie is just staring at Richard, boring into
to him...
RICHARD
Can I help you with something?
CHARLIE
Oh, sorry. I was just undressing you
with my eyes.
And with that, Charlie goes. Stella can't help but smile.
EXT. STELLA'S CONDO - NIGHT
She comes home, having shed her date.
INT. STELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
She goes through a drawer and pulls out a package she hasn't
looked at for years. She opens it.
Inside is the beautiful necklace that her father bought her
in Italy. It brings tears to her eyes.
INT. CHARLIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
He lies in bed, can't sleep. His phone rings. He picks up.
CHARLIE
Hello.
INT. STELLA'S BEDROOM - INTERCUT
She's on the other end of the line.
STELLA
I'm in this for one thing, Charlie,
and one thing only. I want to see
the look on his face when his gold
is gone. He took my father from me,
I'm taking this; it's the best I can
do.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREETS - DAY
Stella's Mini passes, weaves, tucks in between cars. She
drives like a madman.
INT. MINI (SPEEDING)
Charlie feels like he's inside a video game.
CHARLIE
I see Drive Defensively is your motto.
STELLA
Don't worry. Jack Daniels never let
me down.
She slaps the dashboard of her car.
CHARLIE
By the way you drive, I'm not
surprised you named your car after a
bottle of whiskey. Left.
STELLA
Jack Daniels was chief engineer of
the Mini. And I drive it exactly the
way it was meant to be driven.
She whips down the avenue.
CHARLIE
Another left.
She hangs a left.
STELLA
We're going in circles. Who's tailing
you this week?
CHARLIE
The possibilities are endless.
EXT. STADIUM PARKING LOT - DAY
The Mini parks in the middle of the huge, empty lot that
surrounds Veterans Field, home of the Philadelphia Phillies.
INT. MINI
She looks around...
STELLA
Where are they?
CHARLIE
We're a little early. I didn't expect
us to get here quite that fast.
There...
A Vespa pulls into the lot, headed their way. It's Lyle.
Charlie starts the introductions.
CHARLIE
That's Lyle. Gearhead. He's who really
invented Napster...
QUICK CUT TO:
INT. DORM ROOM - NORTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY - 1999 - NIGHT
Below a Metallica poster, Lyle has fallen asleep on his desk.
His roommate, Napster creator SHAWN FANNING, recognizable in
his trademark baseball cap, sneaks a peek at Lyle's computer.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
At least that's how Lyle tells it.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MINI - DAY
And now they see a monster pick-up truck bouncing into the
lot, MUSIC THUMPING from its Alpine at ear-bleeding levels.
CHARLIE
Half-Ear. Explosives. He lost fifty
percent of his hearing in the fifth
grade.
QUICK CUT TO:
INT. GRAMMAR SCHOOL BATHROOM - 1990 - DAY
A 10 year old boy stands in front of a toilet in the stall.
BOOM! Water geysers out of the bowl and soaks him.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
One M-80 in the toilet bowl too many.
Some kids in the bathroom saw the whole thing.
KID
That was rad!
HALF-EAR
Wha'?
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MINI - DAY
And now a RUMBLING in the distance. Stella looks. Sees a car
streaking their way, almost like a mirage in the heat waves
coming off the pavement. Closer. Faster. A classic Mustang.
Its engine rumbles like a jackhammer. It's had some serious
custom work done to it.
CHARLIE
Handsome Rob. Premier wheel man. He
once drove all the way to L.A. just
so he could set the record for longest
freeway chase.
QUICK CUT TO:
EXT. L.A. FREEWAY - 1999 - DAY
Handsome Rob's behind the wheel, flicks a cigarette butt out
his open window --
We watch it hit the pavement, ashes spark, and then behind
the fallen butt we see that every lane of the 405 is filled
with cop cars in pursuit.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
Smashed the mark by twelve minutes.
We now see Handsome Rob through the lens of a TV news
helicopter camera.
CHARLIE (V.O.)
He got a hundred and ten love letters
sent to his jail cell from women who
saw him on TV.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MINI - DAY
As the cars converge in the parking lot...
STELLA
And what about you?
CHARLIE
I've been a thief since I had baby
teeth.
QUICK CUT TO:
INT. GRAMMAR SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY
SEVEN YEAR OLD CHARLIE is shoved against a chain link fence
by a SIXTH GRADE BULLY.
BULLY
Cough it up, Charlie!
Charlie hands the bully a dollar bill. The bully puts it in
a wallet that is over-stuffed with cash and saunters off,
laughing it up with his bully pals. Charlie turns to his 2nd
grade classmate who sports a fresh black eye.
CLASSMATE
So much for lunch.
SEVEN YEAR OLD CHARLIE
You need a dollar?
CLASSMATE
I thought he took your last one.
SEVEN YEAR OLD CHARLIE
He did.
Charlie holds up the over-stuffed wallet that he pickpocketed
from the bully.
SEVEN YEAR OLD CHARLIE
But I got lots more now.
CUT BACK TO:
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Doors open simultaneously. Everyone out. The crew eyes Stella.
Charlie gets right down to business.
CHARLIE
This is Stella. She's working with
us on this one. IDs?
Handsome Rob hands out fake driver's licenses.
LYLE
(reading his)
Melvin Lisp? Could I -- just once --
have a cool name?
HALF-EAR
(also complaining)
220 pounds? Try 180.
HANDSOME ROB
Try 'Deal A Meal'.
LYLE
I don't even have a cool nickname.
CHARLIE
Enough of this sewing-circle shit.
Phones.
Half-Ear hands out new cell phone to everyone and takes their
old phones.
HALF-EAR
Philly Steak says these are clean as
a whistle. He also got us four dozen
internal chips with different numbers.
Change out the chips twice a day.
As Charlie hands out airline tickets --
CHARLIE
We travel to L.A. separately.
LYLE
You still haven't told us the most
important thing. What exactly is the
job, Charlie? And who exactly is
she?
Lyle and Half-Ear have been kept in the dark until now.
CHARLIE
This is Stella Bridger. And we're
finishing the job that we started in
Italy.
They're a little stunned at first.
HALF-EAR
Holy shit. It's about time.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE - LAX - NIGHT
The crew deplane from five different airplanes, different
air carriers.
They disperse in separate vehicles. See Charlie at Avis,
renting a car.
See Handsome Rob renting a U-Haul panel truck.
See Stella on a hotel shuttle bus.
See Half-Ear on the underground Metro Rail, taking the Red
Line.
See Lyle in a taxi, headed south on Figueroa Street. He
notices a YOUNG WOMAN HITCHHIKING. For a moment, their eyes
connect. She is a beautiful waif and the feeling sweeps
through Lyle: if only... But the taxi passes by.
Charlie checks into Shutters, with its Victorian beach house
feel and oceanfront view.
Stella's at the Peninsula in Beverly Hills with its opulent
lobby.
Handsome Rob's at the Standard, with its kitschy decor and
ironic style. He stares at a huge empty aquarium behind the
front desk where a performance artist writhes and a DJ spins
out rhythmic throbs. Very L.A.
Half-Ear's at the new Renaissance Hollywood Hotel adjacent
to the dramatic Babylon Gate and the Kodak Theatre.
And Lyle's at the Downtown Bonaventure, riding up the glass
elevator. Perfect gearhead hotel.
EXT. SHUTTERS HOTEL - BALCONY - SUNSET
The five of them sit in chairs on the balcony of his hotel
room. There's a sweeping view of the Pacific.
CHARLIE
We need an in to get a video blueprint
of the interior. We're not going
into this place blind. Half-Ear, you
take the first surveillance shift.
Who goes in, who goes out, levels of
security, you know the drill.
HALF-EAR
You got it.
CHARLIE
I also want audio surveillance on
his phone.
LYLE
I'll hack into the phone company's
central office remote observance
monitoring system and fool it into
thinking there's a legal tap on the
line. Reroute the digital copies of
his calls to our own listening post.
CHARLIE
How long?
LYLE
I'll burn through the night, have it
up and running before morning.
CHARLIE
(to Handsome Rob)
We need to know how long to get from
the house to Union Station downtown.
HANDSOME ROB
No problemo.
CHARLIE
Stella. How much time will you need
with the safe?
STELLA
I'll have it open in five minutes
flat.
HANDSOME ROB
It's not the same as opening a safe
for the cops. Your heart will be
pounding in your ears. Perspiration
on your fingertips. It's a whole
different ball game.
STELLA
You get me to the safe, I'll open
it.
Out over the ocean, the sun is in its death throes, bruising
the sky a coiling purple and orange.
EXT. STEVE'S HOUSE - MORNING
Nestled at the end of a cul-de-sac on Oporto Drive in the
Hollywood Hills. Chrome. Glass. Carved wood.
EXT. MARAVILLA DRIVE - MORNING
The U-Haul panel truck is parked on the side of the road
that overlooks Oporto Drive and Steve's house.
INT. U-HAUL - MORNING
It's been converted into their surveillance vehicle, the
back outfitted with monitors and surveillance equipment.
Half-Ear peers through binoculars and says his notes into a
micro-cassette recorder. His binoculars focus in on the fence
that surrounds the perimeter of the property.
HALF-EAR
(into recorder)
We've got an anti-scaling fence.
Hardened, electroplated steel. Hacksaw
won't work. We'll need Nitramon.
The binoculars SWISH PAN TO a guard booth where a guard keeps
an eye on the gate.
HALF-EAR
Armed guard. 9MM semi-automatic in
the holster. Security booth is
accessible and ideal for a triple
charger chemical grenade.
The binoculars SWISH PAN TO four Rottweilers prowling the
grounds.
HALF-EAR
Shit. Dogs. Why do black men hate
dogs? I'll tell you why, Charlie.
Because dogs are racist. That's a
natural fact. Someone else deal with
'em.
EXT. 101 FREEWAY - DAY
A sea of cars, gridlock in L.A. Crammed in the middle of the
traffic meltdown is Handsome Rob's rental car.
INT. RENTAL CAR (CRAWLING)
Timing out the getaway route. He's got a Thomas Guide on the
passenger seat and a stopwatch ticking away but he's going
nowhere fast. He futilely leans on the car horn.
INT. U-HAUL - DAY
Lyle's surveillance shift. He takes digital photos with a
telephoto camera. ZOOMS IN on a security pad on the front
door.
LYLE
(into micro cassette
player)
Advent Home Navigator Hybrid System.
Monitors 132 points for intrusion,
fire, and environmental hazards.
Best way around it is to get a back
door password, trip the alarm during
the heist, then call it in as a false
alarm.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE'S HOUSE - OFFICE - DAY
A HAND turns the dial to a Worthington 1000 vault. The vault
opens and voila: stacks and stacks of gold bricks.
EXT. STEVE'S HOUSE -DAY
The same hand clutches a very heavy duffle bag. OUR VIEW
BOOMS UP to see Steve, three years older than when we last
saw him, his beard shaved away.
INT. U-HAUL - SAME TIME
Through his digital camera lens, Lyle watches Steve walk
towards his car: a Ferrari 550 Barchetta Pininfarina. It's
the first time he's seen Steve in three years.
LYLE
(into micro cassette
recorder)
15:25. There he is. He's gained 15
to 20 pounds living off our money.
And Handsome Rob, you're going to be
pissed when you see his wheels.
Lyle watches the security guard hit a switch in the guard
booth. The gate rises like the blade of a guillotine in
reverse. The Ferrari zooms away.
EXT. FIGUEROA STREET - DAY
Another route. Handsome Rob's rental car is in the left turn
lane waiting for the light to change.
INT. RENTAL CAR
The light finally is a green arrow but the lady in front of
Handsome Rob is so preoccupied with applying her make-up
that she doesn't go until he honks but by then it's too late
as she makes it through the light but he doesn't.
He checks his stopwatch. Simmers.
EXT. PENINSULA HOTEL - POOLS SIDE - DAY
In a bikini, Stella lies on a lounge chair under a cabana,
reading a copy of Vogue magazine.
But as we take a closer look, we see that she's really reading
the owner's manual for the Worthington 1000 safe which she's
inserted in the fold of Vogue.
INT. U-HAUL - DAY
Charlie's shift. He sees a Latina housekeeper get into her
car.
CHARLIE
(into micro cassette
recorder)
Housekeeper leaves at 17:30.
EXT. COIN & BULLION STORE - EVENING
Steve bangs a fist against the steel security door that covers
the closed store. The steel door rises up and a Ukrainian
named YEVHEN unlocks another door. He is the gold dealer
that Philly Steak told Charlie about.
YEVHEN
You're right on time.
INT. COIN & BULLION STORE - EVENING
Yevhen is 50 and like many in the gold trade, there isn't a
conspiracy theory that he doesn't embrace. As they make their
way to a back room, he keeps his mouth in overdrive --
YEVHEN
All those poor bastards out there
putting their life savings in banks
and S&Ls and mutual funds. What do
they think -- that when the collapse
comes they can depend on the
government? I don't think so.
Steve motions to a security camera that looms down on them.
STEVE
Is the camera off?
YEVHEN
Of course. Just like you said. I
never tape you, you can see for
yourself.
Steve sees the red light is off. He lays the duffel bag on a
table, unzips it, pulls out three 25 pound gold bricks with
the face of a Balinese Girl stamped on each one. As Yevhen
inspects them --
YEVHEN
Governments are nothing more than
puppets on the strings of the
Trilateral Commission with their
twisted gods.
Yevhen retrieves a briefcase, opens it, presenting Steve
with stacks of Ben Franklins: $100,000 worth. As Steve
inspects the cash --
YEVHEN
I mean, it's so obvious that in a
world where NAFTA can overturn the
Supreme Court, not to mention
Microsoft's nefarious financial
machinations, this, is our only
refuge; gold.
Steve closes the briefcase.
YEVHEN
Plus a little walking around money.
EXT. 7TH STREET - NIGHT
A fender bender in the middle of an intersection has traffic
backed up for miles.
INT. RENTAL CAR
Handsome Rob checks the latest time on the stopwatch.
INT. U-HAUL - NIGHT
Through night-vision binoculars Charlie sees a (different)
security guard open the gate as Steve returns.
He watches Steve go inside his house. Through the windows,
he sees him use a remote to turn on a TV.
EXT. 101 FREEWAY - THE NEXT DAY
A freeway sign says: UNION STATION 1/2 MILE
INT. RENTAL CAR
HANDSOME ROB can see the exit up ahead, but traffic is so
backed up and going nowhere that it feels like it's a hundred
miles away. And it's not even rush hour. Just life in L.A.
Idling on the freeway, he looks at the drivers in the cars
beside him. He sees a businesswoman reading the Wall Street
Journal. Sees a man with his finger deep, deep up his nose.
HANDSOME ROB
Where's a grenade launcher when you
need one?
EXT. YAMASHIRO RESTAURANT - DAY
Our crew walks along the pathways of Japanese gardens that
wind along outside the restaurant. It's a breathtaking view
from high in the Hollywood Hills. Some tourists take in the
vista.
HANDSOME ROB
Doesn't matter what time it is. It's
either bad traffic, peak traffic, or
slit-your-wrists traffic.
HALF-EAR
You gotta ride the Metro-Rail, man.
HANDSOME ROB
I'm sure it's ideal for carrying a
ton of gold, genius.
CHARLIE
What's your guesstimate?
HANDSOME ROB
If we had all green lights, fourteen
minutes. But in the twenty times
I've done it, the average is thirty-
two minutes, with a top time of fifty
minutes.
CHARLIE
Then we'll travel like Rockefeller.
They don't know where Charlie is going with this, but they've
been around him long enough to know it's going somewhere.
CHARLIE
When cars first started catching on,
workers on tall ladders would use
these swiveling colored boards for
traffic signals. Now whenever
Rockefeller would take the drive
from his mansion to his office on
Wall Street, the workers would make
sure that he got green boards all
the way.
HANDSOME ROB
How do we get all green lights?
CHARLIE
Lyle?
LYLE
Let me see what I can do.
HALF-EAR
Did you know that the first traffic
signal to be patented was invented
by a black man named Garrett Morgan?
(to Charlie)
You're not the only one who watches
the History Channel.
HANDSOME ROB
We still need an in to get the video
blueprint.
LYLE
Carpet cleaners? Gutter cleaners?
Flower delivery?
CHARLIE
We'll never get by the guard unless
they're certain it's legit. I'm
thinking cable TV. We cut his cable,
he calls the cable company. We show
up. Send a cable technician into the
house with a pinhole video camera
while we get a feed through an RF
antenna.
HANDSOME ROB
Who plays cable technician? Steve
thinks we're all dead.
But Stella knows that's not exactly true. He doesn't think
Stella is dead; he doesn't know her at all.
STELLA
If you're all dead, I guess I'm the
man for the job.
CHARLIE
Are you up for it?
STELLA
In for a penny, in for a pound.
EXT. ADELPHIA CABLE - PARKING LOT - EVENING
Service trucks pull into the lot. Technicians are getting
out, finishing their shifts.
INT. RENTAL CAR (PARKED NEARBY)
Handsome Rob behind the wheel. Lyle shotgun, aiming his
digital camera at the exiting workers.
LYLE
I'm telling you. He claims he named
it Napster because his hair is so
nappy underneath that cap of his.
But I know the real reason. It's
because I was NAPPING when he stole
the idea from me. I should've been
on the cover of Wired magazine.
HANDSOME ROB
Would you clam up. You'd give a
woodpecker a headache.
LYLE
I'm the Napster.
HANDSOME ROB
Okay. You're the Napster. Heads up:
cable chick.
They see a female service tech getting out of her work truck.
Lyle zooms his camera lens in on her Adelphia Cable work
shirt. It has BECKY sewn in above her right breast.
LYLE
Becky. Nice name. I wonder what she
calls the other one.
HANDSOME ROB
And it's such a mystery why you don't
have a girlfriend.
LYLE
I had a girlfriend. Unfortunately
even though the relationship ceased
in an objective reality, it's still
going on in my mind.
(tapping his head)
That woman's lived in here rent-free
for four years.
Lyle takes a few more pictures of Becky.
LYLE
Okay. All we need now is a work shirt
like this one and a service truck
like that one. You think Stella will
be able to pull it off?
HANDSOME ROB
I have my doubts, but there's no
talking to Charlie.
LYLE
Maybe he's been inserting his hard
drive into her software. Clouds the
judgment.
HANDSOME ROB
He knows better than to mix business
with pleasure.
(getting out of the
car)
Only I'm allowed to do that.
LYLE
Where you going?
HANDSOME ROB
To get a work shirt and a service
truck.
Lyle watches him stroll over to Becky and strike up a
conversation in the parking lot. Lyle can't hear what's being
said, but Becky smiles, and lest we forget, his name is
Handsome Rob for a reason.
INT. BECKY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
OUR CAMERA FOLLOWS a trail of clothes, hastily littered,
that lead to the cable chick's bed. Lit candles are on the
bedside table. The couple is asleep under a tangle of sheets.
Handsome Rob has clearly mixed business with pleasure. His
eyes flash open.
He slips out of bed. Pulls on his pants. Reaches into her
pants and removes her key chain.
He selects the key to her service truck and does an old trick:
he blows out one of the candles and presses the key against
the warm wax, making a clear impression of the key's ridges.
He returns the key chain. Takes a couple more steps, past
her panties, past her bra and.
He snags her work shirt. Then he's gone.
INT. HANDSOME ROB'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Using locksmith equipment, he cuts a key that matches the
impression on the candle wax.
EXT. ADELPHIA CABLE PARKING LOT - DAWN
Stella, wearing Becky's work shirt, arrives before any other
workers. Using the key Handsome Rob made, she unlocks the
door to the cable truck and gets in.
EXT. NEARBY STREET - MORNING
The cable truck pulls over. Charlie and Lyle climb into the
back where they can't be seen.
EXT. OPORTO DRIVE -MORNING
The cable repair truck pulls over, parking down the street
from Steve's house.
Charlie gets out. He quickly uses a crowbar to lift up a
sidewalk cement grate that says CABLE on it. Inside are cable
wires that feed the street. He crouches over and uses pliers
to disconnect one of the cables.
INT. STEVE'S HOUSE - MORNING
He drifts into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He hits the
remote control for a TV. It turns on but there's nothing but
snow.
He goes into the living room and checks out the plasma TV.
The cable's not working in here, either. He hits an intercom
button on his telephone.
INT. GUARD HOUSE - INTERCUT
A SECURITY GUARD answers the intercom.
SECURITY GUARD
What can I do for you, Mister
Frezelli?
STEVE
The cable's out. See if you can get
someone over here to fix it'.
SECURITY GUARD
Yes, sir.
He finds the number and dials.
INT. CABLE TRUCK (PARKED) - MORNING
Lyle monitors a digital copy of the security guard's call
that's being routed to his laptop. Then he takes off his
headphones and tells Charlie and Stella:
LYLE
Whoa. I've never heard the Muzak
version of Purple Haze before.
CHARLIE
When's the appointment?
LYLE
Thursday between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m.
Charlie dials a number on his cell phone.
INT. GUARD HOUSE - INTERCUT
The security guard answers the phone.
SECURITY GUARD
Hello.
CHARLIE
Yes, I'm calling from Adelphia Cable.
I understand your service is out and
an appointment was set up for
Thursday.
SECURITY GUARD
Yes.
CHARLIE
Well we have a technician working in
your area who finished with an
appointment earlier than expected.
Will someone be there for the next
hour?
SECURITY GUARD
Sure. That'd be great.
CHARLIE
Our technician will see you then.
Have a nice day.
SECURITY GUARD
You too.
Charlie hangs up.
CHARLIE
Let's check the camera.
LYLE
Stella, you're going patriotic today.
Lyle puts an American flag pin on her work shirt. Then he
hits keys on his laptop and an image pops up on his monitor
via an RF antenna: the POV of the pin.
CHARLIE
He's got cable lines in the kitchen,
living room, bedroom and a cable
modem on the computer in the office.
Try to get a 360 look at each room.
And walk slowly or the image will
streak.
Lyle hands her some papers.
LYLE
I printed these up to look like
paperwork from Adelphia. When you're
done, ask him to sign and date the
bottom.
Stella looks very tense.
CHARLIE
How you doing?
STELLA
Fine. I'm fine.
Charlie seems amused by that answer.
CHARLIE
You know what fine, stands for? Fucked-
up, Insecure --
Stella joins in with him...
STELLA & CHARLIE
Neurotic and Emotional.
They look at each other a moment... and smile.
INT. RENTAL CAR (MOVING) - DAY
While the others deal with the cable, Handsome Rob and Half-
Ear drive down Sunset.
HALF-EAR
Here's our spot.
They pull up in front of a strip joint.
HANDSOME ROB
Girls girls girls.
Half-Ear pulls a switchblade out of his boot and puts it in
the glove compartment. Handsome Rob gives him a questioning
look.
HALF-EAR
Philly Steak said we'd be frisked.
INT. STRIP CLUB - DAY
Outside the doorway of a back room they're frisked by a BURLY
MAN. He's very thorough, digging hard into their crotches.
HANDSOME ROB
(scowls)
Y'got a great job.
BURLY MAN
Pays the rent, asshole. You got a
problem, talk to Skinny Pete.
He opens the door to the --
INT. BACK ROOM
Where we meet SKINNY PETE, who is the FATTEST MAN YOU'VE
EVER SEEN. He takes up an entire couch in the rear of the
room.
His catcher's-mitt-sized hands motion them to come closer.
SKINNY PETE
Philly Steak sent you?
His voice is raspy, it's like a climbing-ten-floors-effort
just for this guy to get out the words.
HALF-EAR
That's right.
SKINNY PETE
So was I right-on about the gold
bricks or what?
HALF-EAR
That's really not what I'm here to
talk about. Philly Steak said you
could get us some supplies.
The fattest man you've ever seen attempts a nod, triple-chins
colliding like a train wreck.
SKINNY PETE
What do you need?
HALF-EAR
A four inch can of Nitramon. Nitramon
primer. Detonating cord. Two triple
charger chemical grenades. Launcher.
SKINNY PETE
Nine p.m.
HANDSOME ROB
Should we hang here? Check out the
dancers?
SKINNY PETE
Nothing's going down here. I don't
shit in my own yard, do you?
HANDSOME ROB
No, but I take a whizz off the deck
sometimes.
With his distended belly and bursting shirt, his eyes glazing
with repletion, Skinny Pete writes down an address.
SKINNY PETE
Five thousand dollars. And don't be
late.
CUT TO:
INT. SECURITY GUARD BOOTH -DAY
Looking at a monitor, one of Steve's security guards sees
the Adelphia repair truck pull up to the gate. He hits a
button and the gate rises, beckoning it inside.
INT. CABLE TRUCK (MOVING)
Stella heads up the driveway, apprehension painted on her
features. Lyle is hidden in the back.
She parks next to the Ferrari and finds herself surrounded
by the four Rottweilers. They snarl and flash their teeth
outside her door until a shrill WHISTLE yanks their attention
to --
EXT. STEVE'S HOUSE
where Steve has just stepped out the front door. The dogs
immediately back off.
Stella gets out of the truck as Steve walks over, smiling at
her.
She comes face to face with the man who killed her father.
STEVE
It's all right. They won't bother
you now.
She's not sure she's going to be able to speak or pull this
off.
STELLA
It's okay. I'm used to running into
all sorts of dogs on my job.
He holds out a hand.
STEVE
I'm Steve.
STELLA
Becky.
She shakes his hand. She hates this, feeling his skin touch
hers, but she can't betray her feelings. He stands there a
moment.
STELLA
You want to show me the problem?
STEVE
Yeah. Course. This way.
INT. STEVE'S HOUSE - SAME TIME
She enters, moving her body to give the pinhole camera a
full sweep of the entryway.
STELLA
I'd like to check the cable modem
first.
INT. BACK OF THE CABLE REPAIR TRUCK - SAME TIME
Lyle watches Stella and Steve on his laptop via the pinhole
camera and hears them talking through his headphones.
INT. HALLWAY - INTERCUT
Steve leads Stella down the marbled hall...
STEVE
I'll show you.
They step into the --
OFFICE
She turns her body so the mini-lens
can stare at the gleaming black
Worthington 1000 safe. Then she goes
up to his desk and pretends to work
on the cable line that feeds into
his computer.
He stares at her as she bends down...
STEVE
The cable guy who hooked this up
weighed about 300 pounds, didn't
wear any underwear, and his pants
slung a little too low if you know
what I mean.
She tries her best to ignore his flirtatious stare and his
words.
STELLA
There we go. Now onto the TVs.
INT. BACK OF THE CABLE TRUCK - DAY
Lyle sees a perfect view of the main hallway as Stella walks
down it.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
He escorts her inside. She works on the cable connection to
the plasma TV. Finishes.
STEVE
Is it fixed?
STELLA
Turn it on and see.
EXT. OPORTO DRIVE - SAME TIME
Back at the spot where Charlie disconnected the cable.
Wearing a headset with a mic, he gets the word from Lyle --
LYLE (V.O.)
Now.
Charlie reconnects the cable just as --
INT. LIVING ROOM
Steve turns on the TV and the picture is --
STEVE
Perfect.
STELLA
Then it looks like you're all set.
Steve stares at her a moment.
STEVE
Have we met before?
She's hoping to get out as quickly as she can.
STELLA
I don't think so. Sign here, please.
She hands him the paperwork and a pen. He signs it.
STELLA
Date.
STEVE
You read my mind.
STELLA
Oh, no. I meant that I need you to
put the date by your signature. It's
the 26th.
STEVE
I know what you meant.
(he smiles)
This might seem a little sudden,
but... would you like to have dinner
with me?
STELLA
I don't think that'd be a very good
idea.
STEVE
Why? Is there some kind of cable-
rule against dating customers?
STELLA
No, it's my rule. I don't accept
dates from men I've just met. I've
only known you five minutes.
STEVE
Then I guess I'll have to sabotage
my cable over and over again until
you get to know me better.
He's being charming, and she has to act like he is being
charming, but she really wants to throw-up.
STEVE
Look, I'm just talking about dinner.
Friday night. It's no big deal. If
you don't like me, you never have to
see me again. You know I'm not going
to stop until you say yes.
CUT TO:
INT. CABLE TRUCK (MOVING) - DAY
Stella drives in heavy traffic down Sunset. Charlie and Lyle
are in the back.
CHARLIE
I know it was tough in there.
STELLA
He touched my hand. And he came-on
to me. That slimy, disgusting man
came onto me and I had to pretend
that I liked it.
Stella keeps her eyes forward, on the road, so Charlie and
Lyle can't see her face. But Charlie catches her reflection
in the rearview mirror and watches a tear glide down her
cheek. She wipes it away.
STELLA
You do know what this means... I've
created our window of opportunity.
CHARLIE
I know. When Steve leaves Friday
night, we go in. By the time he
realizes you've stood him up, we'll
be long gone with the gold.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSING PROJECTS - NIGHT
A different world. A different vibe. That feeling in the
gut: you don't belong here.
INT. RENTAL CAR (MOVING)
Handsome Rob drives, Half-Ear in the passenger seat.
HALF-EAR
Skinny Pete.
HANDSOME ROB
The guy makes Jabba the Hut look
like a spokesman for the Subway
Sandwiches' diet.
They pull over in front of the apartment building that Pete
sent them to.
HALF-EAR
What do you think?
HANDSOME ROB
I'm trying not to.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Half-Ear hits the buzzer for the apartment number on the
paper from the fat man. The door to the building buzzes in
response and they go inside.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Climbing stairs. From behind closed doors: TVs, crying babies,
violent yelling. They start down a hallway. Ahead of them a
door opens and a suitcase is put in front of the doorway.
The door closes. They don't even get a glance at whomever is
inside.
They go to the suitcase. Half-Ear clicks open the lock for
just a peek. He sees the goods.
Handsome Rob starts to slide an envelope of cash under the
door frame. Its sucked out of his hand by someone on the
other side of the door and disappears.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Half-Ear carefully deposits the suitcase into the trunk of
the rental car. Handsome Rob closes the trunk.
HALF-EAR
Drive slow. We crash and we're a
crater.
They get into the car.
INT. RENTAL CAR
Handsome Rob keys the ignition.
The beam of his headlights illuminate TWO HOMEBOYS. TWO MORE
step out of the shadows, one right up to the passenger's
door window. That one taps a 9 MM against the glass.
Half-Ear lowers the window. The homeboy pats one hand against
the faux-leather inside of the door, his other hand clutches
the weapon.
HOMEBOY
What'd you put in the trunk?
HALF-EAR
Suitcase.
The homeboy, bugging on crank, is not one to be fucked with.
HOMEBOY
Just gimme the keys before I pop a
cap in your head.
Handsome Rob takes the trunk key off the chain and passes it
over to Half-Ear... who nervously drops it onto the carpeted
floor.
HOMEBOY
Hurry up!
Half-Ear reaches down for the key... but in the flash of an
eye... moving so fast it almost doesn't register... we see
him yank his switchblade from his boot, unleash its blade,
and stab it down into the homeboy's hand. The knife goes
through his hand and lodges into the faux-leather interior
of the door.
The homeboy suffers as Half-Ear whacks the gun out of his
other hand -- while Handsome Rob keys the ignition and guns
it.
The other homeboys are already POPPING OFF SHOTS at the car
with semi-automatic handguns. Half-Ear hits the deck. Glass
shatters.
INT. TRUNK OF THE CAR
Bullets slam into the trunk, illuminating the darkness with
streaks of light from the bullet holes. They barely miss the
suitcase filled with explosives.
EXT. RENTAL CAR (MOVING)
The homeboy is still attached to the car door by the knife.
His legs scurry to keep up with the moving vehicle but it's
going too fast so pretty soon he's being dragged. Bullets
whiz by him. He cries out in agony until Half-Ear has the
time to yank out the knife and the homeboy rolls away on the
pavement.
The car makes a sharp right at the next block and pulls over.
The U-Haul is waiting for them.
They get out of the rental car and open its trunk. Half-Ear
sees the bullet holes that surround the suitcase. An inch
closer and they would've been a crater.
HALF-EAR
Christ.
INT. U-HAUL - NIGHT
They get in with the suitcase. Charlie is behind the wheel,
he's been waiting for them. He hits the gas. They take off,
leaving the shot-up rental car behind.
CHARLIE
Looks like that went without a hitch.
CUT TO:
INT. CHARLIE'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
An edited loop of the exterior and interior of Steve's house
plays on Lyle's laptop. The crew is huddled around.
CHARLIE
Lyle, what's the distance from the
front door to the vault?
Lyle doesn't answer.
CHARLIE
Lyle?
Handsome Rob leans over to Charlie.
HANDSOME ROB
He only answers to The Napster now.
CHARLIE
I'm not calling you The Napster.
LYLE
You call him Half-Ear.
HALF-EAR
That wasn't my idea.
LYLE
And him, Handsome Rob.
CHARLIE
That's only cause he is Handsome
Rob.
LYLE
And I'm The Napster.
CHARLIE
How far?
(sighs, gives in)
The Napster.
LYLE
Five hundred yards.
CHARLIE
So here's the riddle. How do we get
over a ton of gold from the vault to
the getaway car?
STELLA
How wide is the hallway?
The video that Stella got of the hallway plays on the laptop.
Lyle calculates:
LYLE
Only six feet.
OUR VIEW PUSHES IN FAST on Stella.
QUICK CUT TO:
MINI COOPER (MOVING) - DAY
She's driving. Pure concentration. Then:
Tires spinning over a marble floor. Then:
The sideview mirrors scraping wallpaper. Then:
The thin car is like a missile firing RIGHT DOWN STEVE'S
HALLWAY, a hair-raising fit.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. CHARLIE'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Her idea brings a smile to her face.
STELLA
Jack Daniels, straight up.
CHARLIE
Minis?
STELLA
We could rumble right up the front
steps, bring the getaway car right
to the vault, and then straight to
Union Station.
Handsome Rob likes it.
HANDSOME ROB
We'll need three to hold the gold.
EXT. CAR RENTAL COMPANY - DAY
Parked in the lot are shimmering Supercharged Mini Coopers,
a new model that still captures the legendary Mini look and
feel.
Half-Ear climbs in one Mini. Lyle into another.
INT. CAR RENTAL COMPANY - SAME TIME
In the background, a large window overlooks the lot.
Handsome Rob fills out the paperwork on the Mini he's renting
while flirting with a petite COUNTER BABE.
HANDSOME ROB
I'd say you're a Maserati 250 S.
Just 4 cylinders but can go 0 to 60
in 4.2.
COUNTER BABE
As long as it's a convertible -- I
always like to have my top down.
At the same time, in the background, we see Lyle and Half-
Ear's Mini pull out of their parking spaces and BACK RIGHT
INTO EACH OTHER. Just a little bumper hit.
COUNTER BABE
Do you know them?
They get out of their cars and start yelling at each other.
HANDSOME ROB
Never seen 'em before in my life.
CUT TO:
EXT. YEVHEN'S COIN & BULLION STORE - NIGHT
Steve bangs a fist against the steel security door that covers
the closed store. The steel door rises up and once again
Yevhen unlocks another door.
YEVHEN
You're early.
STEVE
And I'm in a hurry, okay?
INT. YEVHEN'S COINS & BULLION STORE - NIGHT
It doesn't seem to matter if Steve's in a hurry or not, Yevhen
still runs at the mouth while heading into the back room.
YEVHEN
Of course the Florida vote rigging
was a CIA and Mob operation.
STEVE
(with total disinterest)
That a fact?
YEVHEN
You want facts? Fact: CIA officials
were allowed free -- and illegal --
access to official election material.
Steve puts his duffel bag down on the table. It THUDS. Once
again, he pulls out three gold bricks that each weigh 25
pounds.
YEVHEN
Now given the sordid history in Miami
of joint ventures between Central
Intelligence and the Mob, which led
to the unsuccessful attempts to kill
Fidel Castro and the successful
assassination of your President John
F. Kennedy, this conjunction raises
numerous red flags.
STEVE
And I'd love to hear more about it,
but like I said...
YEVHEN
Don't worry, we'll have you out in
no time. The cash is on its way.
Steve cocks his head, as if he could not have heard right.
STEVE
On its way?
YEVHEN
My cousin is bringing it over.
STEVE
Your cousin?
YEVHEN
Yes. Cousin Mashkov.
STEVE
He's on his way?
YEVHEN
Don't worry, he will be here any
minute.
Steve looks up to the security camera.
STEVE
The tape's off?
YEVHEN
Of course. Believe me, he doesn't
want to be on video, either.
STEVE
Yevhen. Didn't I tell you, many times,
that I never wanted to meet with
anyone but you?
Yevhen sweats a bit.
YEVHEN
I know. But it's his cash. He uses
me to launder money. I'm just a
middleman.
STEVE
And a middleman is supposed to stay
in the middle.
YEVHEN
But you were early. Please. Don't
worry. It will be fine. My cousin's
a cool guy. Like I am.
STEVE
What you are, is a Dixie cup.
Yevhen smiles quizzically, not sure if he's being complimented
or insulted.
YEVHEN
Dixie cup?
Before the words are out of Yevhen's mouth, Steve grabs one
of the 25 pound gold bricks and slaps it across Yevhen's
face, shattering his jaw.
Yevhen's falls to the floor and Steve lifts the brick again
and rams it down onto his head with an ugly THUD.
And again.
And again.
He then takes the gold brick -- slathered in blood -- and
places it back in his duffle bag.
CUT TO:
INT. YEVHEN'S COINS & BULLION STORE - TEN MINUTES LATER
Yevhen's Ukrainian cousin, MASHKOV, stares down at the corpse.
Steve is long gone.
Mashkov kneels down by the body and starts sobbing.
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Mashkov walks through a living room, past some lighting
equipment and a video camera and we get just enough of a
look to realize that a porno is being shot here but he
couldn't care less as he makes his way into the kitchen where --
His boss, DANYA, 60, the owner of this house, is eating a
bowl of Frosted Flakes at the kitchen table. They speak in a
colloquial Ukrainian tongue that we SUBTITLE.
MASHKOV
My cousin Yevhen was beaten to death.
DANYA
By who?
MASHKOV
That's what I'm going to find out.
They stop talking for a moment as one of the "ACTRESSES"
comes in, plops herself down next to Danya and pours herself
a bowl of cereal. She puts her hand on Danya's leg. She's
young and it's a disturbing image and we RECOGNIZE HER: she's
the HITCHHIKER who Lyle passed in the taxi ride down Figueroa
Street when he first arrived in L.A.
Danya goes back to speaking SUBTITLED UKRAINIAN.
DANYA
And what will you do when you find
this piece of shit who killed your
cousin?
MASHKOV
I'll hack off his limbs and bury him
while he's still alive.
DANYA
Okay. But now we should stop talking
Ukrainian, it's rude to my girl.
(switching to accented
ENGLISH)
How are you tonight, Karen?
KAREN
Hungry.
DANYA
Then eat your Frosted Flakes.
KAREN
(like Tony the Tiger)
They're grrrreat!
Danya laughs pleasantly.
DANYA
Such a perfect girl.
But as she eats her cereal, we see a troubled, sad look on
her face.
INT. RENTED WAREHOUSE - DAY
The three Minis are parked inside: one red, one white, one
blue. Handsome Rob and Stella are doing custom work under
the hoods. Lyle is wearing the strap-on laptop and typing
away. Half-Ear squeezes silver Haliburton suitcases into the
Minis' trunks as Charlie enters --
CHARLIE
How are our matchbox cars?
HANDSOME ROB
Souped.
STELLA
Don't let their size fool you. These
were rally cars back in the day. 135
mph, 155 horsepower --
LYLE
Do I get to drive one?
HANDSOME ROB
No.
LYLE
Why not?
HANDSOME ROB
Because you can't navigate your way
out of a parking lot. Here's your
ride.
He pulls a blanket off a Vespa. Lyle points at Half-Ear.
LYLE
But he ran into me.
HANDSOME ROB
He's not driving either.
(to Stella)
You ever got a speeding ticket?
STELLA
Let's put it this way: I can only
get insurance through companies that
advertise on TV at 3:00 in the
morning.
HANDSOME ROB
You drive. I drive. Charlie drives.
CHARLIE
I got us spots for three cars on a
car carrier and five first class
seats. Train 59 from Union Station
to New Orleans.
HALF-EAR
That's N'Or'lins, Yankee.
CHARLIE
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