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                                           JUNO



                                        Written by

                                        Diablo Cody


                

               EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - DUSK

               JUNO MacGUFF stands on a placid street in a nondescript 
               subdivision, facing the curb. It's FALL. Juno is sixteen 
               years old, an artfully bedraggled burnout kid. She winces 
               and shields her eyes from the glare of the sun. The object 
               of her rapt attention is a battered living room set, abandoned 
               curbside by its former owners. There is a fetid-looking 
               leather recliner, a chrome-edged coffee table, and a tasteless 
               latchhooked rug featuring a roaring tiger.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         It started with a chair.

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MOLD-O'-RIFFIC BASEMENT - NIGHT

               FLASHBACK - Juno approaches a boy hidden by shadow. He's 
               sitting in an overstuffed chair. She slowly, clumsily lowers 
               herself onto his lap.

               A 60's Brazilian track plays from a vintage record player.

                                     WHISPERED VOICE
                         Do you know how long I've wanted 
                         this?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah.

                                     WHISPERED VOICE
                         Wizard.

               EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - CONTINUED

               A DOG barks, jarring Juno back to reality.

                                     JUNO
                         Quiet, Banana. Hey, shut your gob 
                         for a second, okay?

               We see a teacup poodle tethered in the yard a few feet away 
               from the abandoned living room set. The dog yaps again.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         This is the most magnificent discarded 
                         living room set I've ever seen.

               She swigs from an absurdly oversized carton of juice and 
               wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

               BEGIN ANIMATED TITLE SEQUENCE:

               Juno marching down various street, pumping her arms like a 
               jogger and chugging intermittently from the huge carton of 
               juice. We watch her breathlessly navigate suburbia, clearly 
               on a mission.

               EXT. DRUGSTORE - DAY

               Finally, a panting Juno arrives at DANCING ELK DRUG on the 
               main drag of her small Minnesota suburb, Dancing Elk.

               The automatic doors of the store part to reveal Juno's flushed 
               serious face. She carelessly flings the empty juice container 
               over her shoulder and onto the curb. A group of DROPOUTS 
               with skateboards near the entrance glare at her.

               She enters the DRUGSTORE.

               INT. DRUGSTORE - CONTINUOUS

               ROLLO, the eccentric drugstore clerk, sneers at Juno from 
               behind the counter. He wears a polyester uniform vest.

                                     ROLLO
                         Well, well. If it isn't MacGuff the 
                         Crime Dog! Back for another test?

                                     JUNO
                         I think the last one was defective. 
                         The plus sign looked more like a 
                         division sign.

               Rollo regards her with intense skepticism.

                                     JUNO
                         I remain unconvinced.

               Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach.

                                     ROLLO
                         This is your third test today, Mama 
                         Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt 
                         about it!

               An eavesdropping TOUGH GIRL wearing an oversized jacket and 
               lots of makeup gapes at Juno from the beauty aisle.

                                     TOUGH GIRL
                         Three times? Oh girl, you are way 
                         pregnant. It's easy to tell. Is your 
                         nipples real brown?

               A pile of stolen COSMETICS falls out of the girl's jacket 
               and clatters to the floor.

                                     TOUGH GIRL
                         Balls!

               Juno crosses and crosses her legs awkwardly, hopping. It's 
               obvious she has to use the bathroom urgently.

                                     ROLLO
                         Maybe you're having twins. Maybe 
                         your little boyfriend's got mutant 
                         sperms and he knocked you up twice!

                                     JUNO
                         Silencio! I just drank my weight in 
                         Sunny D. and I have to go, pronto.

               Rollo sighs and slips her the bathroom key. Juno races down 
               one of the aisles.

                                     ROLLO
                         Well, you know where the lavatory 
                         is.
                              (calling after her)
                         You pay for that pee stick when you're 
                         done! Don't think it's yours just 
                         because you've marked it with your 
                         urine!

                                     JUNO
                         Jesus, I didn't say it was.

                                     ROLLO
                         Well, it's not. You're not a lion in 
                         a pride!
                              (to himself)
                         These kids, acting like lions with 
                         their unplanned pregnancies and their 
                         Sunny Delights.

               INT. DRUGSTORE - BATHROOM - DAY

               In the dim, reeking public bathroom, Juno hovers over the 
               commode with her boxer shorts around her ankles. She clumsily 
               tries to use the pregnancy test.

               We see the test box sitting on the sink. It's a TeenWave 
               Discount Pregnancy Test. The accompanying outdated package 
               photo is of a shrugging 80s teen with a resigned expression. 
               The fine print on the box reads "From the makers of Sun-Glitz 
               Lightening Hair Spritz!"

               INT. DRUGSTORE - FRONT COUNTER - DAY

               Juno holds the developing test in her hand and slaps the 
               open test box on the front counter. Rollo scans it and bags 
               it indifferently.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh, and this too.

               She places a giant licorice Super Rope on the counter.

                                     ROLLO
                         So what's the prognosis, Fertile 
                         Myrtle? Minus or plus?

                                     JUNO
                              (examining stick)
                         I don't know. It's not... seasoned 
                         yet. Wait. Huh. Yeah, there's that 
                         pink plus sign again. God, it's 
                         unholy.

               She shakes the stick desperately in an attempt to skew the 
               results. Shake. Shake. Nothing.

                                     ROLLO
                         That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is 
                         one doodle that can't be undid, 
                         homeskillet.

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - EVENING

               Juno walks slowly and dejectedly up the street to her house, 
               gnawing on the Super Rope. She stops and loops the Super 
               Rope over a low-hanging tree branch, contemplating how to 
               fashion a noose.

               Juno trudges toward her HOUSE. The yard is a wild tangle of 
               prairie grass and wild flowers.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Juno's BEDROOM is decorated with punk posters: The Damned, 
               The Germs, the Stooges, Television, Richard Hell, etc. She 
               picks up a hamburger-shaped phone to call her best friend, 
               LEAH.

               INT. LEAH'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT

               LEAH's room is cluttered with the sentimental junk that 
               certain girls love to hoard. The PHONE rings.

                                     LEAH
                              (answering phone)
                         Yo-yo-yiggity-yo.

                                     JUNO
                         I am a suicide risk.

                                     LEAH
                         Is this Juno?

                                     JUNO
                         No it's Morgan Freeman. Got any bones 
                         that need collecting?

                                     LEAH
                         Only the one in my pants.

                                     JUNO
                              (in low tones)
                         Dude, I'm pregnant.

                                     LEAH
                         Maybe it's just a food baby. Did you 
                         have a big lunch?

                                     JUNO
                         It's not a food baby. I took three 
                         pregnancy tests today. I am definitely 
                         up the spout.

                                     LEAH
                         How did you even generate enough pee 
                         for three pregnancy tests?

                                     JUNO
                         I drank like ten tons of Sunny 
                         Delight. Anyway, yeah. I'm pregnant. 
                         And you're shockingly cavalier.

                                     LEAH
                         Is this for real? Like for real, for 
                         real?

                                     JUNO
                         Unfortunately, yes.

                                     LEAH
                         Oh my God! Oh shit! Phuket Thailand!

                                     JUNO
                         That's the kind of emotion I was 
                         looking for in the first take.

                                     LEAH
                         Well, are you going to go to 
                         Havenbrooke or Women Now for the 
                         abortion? You need a note from your 
                         parents for Havenbrooke.

                                     JUNO
                         I know. Women Now, I guess. The 
                         commercial says they help women now.

                                     LEAH
                         Want me to call for you? I called 
                         for Becky last year.

                                     JUNO
                         Eh, I'll call them myself. But I do 
                         need your help with something very 
                         urgent.

               EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - NIGHT

               Leah and Juno struggle to drag a recliner across a well 
               manicured suburban lawn. They make a formidable team.

                                     LEAH
                         Heavy lifting can only help you at 
                         this point.

                                     JUNO
                         That is sick, man.

               Leah busts a gut laughing. It's a stunningly accurate 
               portrayal of Bleeker's parents.

                                     LEAH
                         So, you were bored? Is that how this 
                         blessed miracle came to be?

                                     JUNO
                         Nah, it was a premeditated act. The 
                         sex, I mean, not getting pregnant.

                                     LEAH
                         When did you decide you were going 
                         to do Bleeker?

                                     JUNO
                         Like, a year ago, in Spanish class.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - SPANISH CLASS - DAY - (FLASHBACK)

               Bleeker and Juno are sitting at their desks, listening to a 
               teacher lecturing about spanish. Bleeker discreetly pushes a 
               POSTCARD to Juno with his foot. She picks it up off the floor, 
               reads it, then looks at Bleeker, who is watching the teacher 
               obediently.

               EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - NIGHT

                                     LEAH
                         Aha! You love him.

                                     JUNO
                         It's extremely complicated, and I'd 
                         rather not talk about it in my fragile 
                         state.

               She hefts a coffee table with her bare hands. She's wearing 
               her father's LIFTING BELT.

                                     LEAH
                         So, what was it like humping Bleeker's 
                         bony bod?

                                     JUNO
                         It was magnificent, man!

               INT. BLEEKER'S BEDROOM - MORNING

               CU of Bleeker putting on double socks in his Car-Bed.

               CU of Bleeker putting on his sweat bands.

               CU of Bleeker applying Runner's Glide.

               INT. KITCHEN - BLEEKER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING

               CU of a CROISSANT POCKET warming in the microwave.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MORNING

               PAUL BLEEKER steps onto the front porch of his house for 
               early morning track practice. He wears a cross country uniform 
               that reads "DANCING ELK CONDORS." He is eating some kind of 
               microwaved snack gimmick.

               Bleeker is startled to discover that Juno is outside waiting 
               for him. She has somehow arranged the living room set on the 
               front lawn, and is seated in the armchair, chewing a pipe 
               officiously.

                                     JUNO
                         Hey Bleek.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Hey, cool tiger. Looks proud.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, I swiped it from Ms. Rancick.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Cool.

                                     JUNO
                         Your shorts are looking especially 
                         gold today.

                                     BLEEKER
                         My mom uses color-safe bleach.

                                     JUNO
                         Go Carole.
                              (a beat)
                         So, guess what?

                                     BLEEKER
                              (shrugs)
                         I don't know...

                                     JUNO
                         I'm pregnant.

               Stunned silence. Juno pops up the footrest of the recliner 
               and leans back comfortably.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I guess so.
                              (fidgeting)
                         What are you going to do?

               The Dancing Elk Prep cross country team runs past Bleeker's 
               house in a thundering herd, wearing a motley assortment of 
               warm-ups. Their momentum stirs the crackling fall leaves. 
               They wave and holler at Bleeker and Juno.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         When I see them all running like 
                         that, with their things bouncing 
                         around in their shorts, I always 
                         picture them naked, even if I don't 
                         want to. I have intrusive thoughts 
                         all the time.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - CONTINUED

                                     BLEEKER
                         I'm supposed to be running.

                                     JUNO
                         I know.

               There's an awkward silence.

                                     BLEEKER
                         So, what do you think we should do?

                                     JUNO
                         I thought I might, you know, nip it 
                         in the bud before it gets worse. 
                         Because I heard in health class that 
                         pregnancy often results in an infant.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yeah, typically. That's what happens 
                         when our moms and teachers get 
                         pregnant.

                                     JUNO
                         So that's cool with you, then?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yeah, wizard, I guess. I mean do 
                         what you think is right.

                                     JUNO
                         I'm real sorry I had sex with you. I 
                         know it wasn't your idea.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Whose idea was it?

                                     JUNO
                         I'll see you at school, O.K.?

               She mounts her bicycle and waves before riding off.

                                     BLEEKER
                              (to nobody in 
                              particular)
                         Whose idea was it?

               EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - DAY

               Juno pushes her crappy bike into the bike rack and winds a 
               lock around it. In the background, a group of 3 NERDS play a 
               live-action RPG.

                                     NERD
                         You did not! You don't have the armor. 
                         That Orc Armor you bought from the 
                         wizard doesn't have the power level 
                         to parry my hit!

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY

               Juno tries to push through the masses, but the throng of 
               students is thick and unwielding.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY

               Juno rummages through her locker, which is plastered with 
               photos of Leah and Bleeker, plus a giant poster of Iggy Pop 
               in his heyday.

               She grabs a dilapidated physics textbook. A few pages slip 
               out. STEVE RENDAZO (the same asshole who harassed her as she 
               walked to the drugstore) passes by in the hallway.

                                     STEVE RENDAZO
                         Hey, your book fell apart!

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah.

                                     STEVE RENDAZO
                         It must have looked at your face. 
                         PWAH!

               He high-fives his klatch of buddies and moves along.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo 
                         secretly wants me. Jocks like him 
                         always want freaky girls. Girls with 
                         horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear 
                         and Goth makeup. Girls who play the 
                         cello and wear Converse All-Stars 
                         and want to be children's librarians 
                         when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks 
                         eat that shit up.

               We see Steve looking back at Juno for a brief second with 
               mixed feelings.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         They just won't admit it, because 
                         they're supposed to be into perfect 
                         cheerleaders like Leah. Who, 
                         incidentally, is into teachers.

               We see Leah at the far end of the hallway, talking animatedly 
               with a paunchy middle-aged teacher, KEITH.

                                     LEAH
                              (from a distance)
                         Me too! I love Woody Allen!

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - SCIENCE LAB - DAY

               STUDENTS bustle in, as the teacher, MR. TINKER tries to 
               maintain order. Juno heads toward her desk and sets down her 
               bag.

                                     MR. TINKER
                         People! We're doing our photomagnetism 
                         lab today, so find your partner and 
                         break out into fours.

               Juno looks up and meets eyes with her longtime lab partner: 
               Bleeker. Sound the gong of awkwardness!

               Juno and Bleeker head separately over to an available lab 
               station and unpack their bags in silence.

                                     JUNO
                         Well! Nothing like experimenting.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I did the prep questions for this 
                         lab last night. You can copy my 
                         answers if you need to.

               He slides a piece of graph paper in front of Juno without 
               looking at her.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh, I couldn't copy your work.

                                     BLEEKER
                         But you copy my work every week.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh yeah. I'm kind of a deadbeat lab 
                         partner, huh?

                                     BLEEKER
                         I don't mind. You definitely bring 
                         something to the table.

                                     JUNO
                         Charisma?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Or something.

               The other two LAB PARTNERS, a humorless couple, join them at 
               the station.

                                     JUNO
                         So, who's ready for some 
                         photomagnificence?

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         I have a menstrual migraine, and I 
                         can't look at bright lights today.

                                     GUY LAB PARTNER
                         Amanda, I told you to go to the 
                         infirmary and lie down. You never 
                         listen.

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         No Josh, I don't take orders. Not 
                         from you and not from any man.

                                     GUY LAB PARTNER
                         You know, you've been acting like 
                         this ever since I went up to see my 
                         brother at Mankato. I told you, 
                         nothing happened!

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         Something happened. Because your 
                         eyes? Are very cold? They're very 
                         cold, Josh. They're cold, lying eyes.

                                     GUY LAB PARTNER
                         What? My eyes are not lying!

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         Yes they are, Josh. Since Mankato, 
                         they have been lying eyes.

               Juno and Bleeker observe the argument like tennis spectators, 
               fascinated by the dynamics of a real couple.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Okay... I'm going to set up the 
                         apparatus. Juno, want to get a C 
                         clamp out of that drawer?

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         I'm going to the infirmary.

                                     GUY LAB PARTNER
                         Good. Call me when you're OFF the 
                         rag.

                                     GIRL LAB PARTNER
                         Fine. Call me when you learn how to 
                         love just one person and not cheat 
                         at your brother's college just because 
                         you had four Smirnoff Ices and a 
                         bottle of Snow Peak Peach flavored 
                         Boone's!

                                     GUY LAB PARTNER
                         Good, I'll be sure to do that, Amanda. 
                         I'll make a note of it.

               He furiously scrawls a fake memo in his notebook.

                                     JUNO
                         Snow Peak Peach is the best flavor 
                         of Boone's. Right, Bleek?

               Bleeker reddens and continues constructing the apparatus. 
               GIRL LAB PARTNER stalks off dramatically.

               Bleeker shakes his head and rifles through his textbook.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON

               Juno examines a large ad in the newspaper that depicts a 
               distraught TEEN GIRL clutching her head in a moment of staged 
               conflict. The ad reads: "Pregnant? Find the clinic that gives 
               women choice. Women's Choice Health Center."

               Juno picks up her hamburger phone and dials. For a moment, 
               she attempts to copy the melodramatic pose from the ad, 
               checking herself out in the mirror.

                                     JUNO
                              (talking along with 
                              voice prompt)
                         "Para instruciones en Espanol, oprima 
                         numero dos."

               She presses a few buttons in succession.

                                     JUNO
                         Yes, hello, I need to procure a hasty 
                         abortion?... What was that? I'm sorry, 
                         I'm on my hamburger phone and it's 
                         kind of awkward to talk on. It's 
                         really more of a novelty than a 
                         functional appliance.

               She SMACKS the phone a couple of times.

                                     JUNO
                         Better? Okay, good. Yeah, as I said, 
                         I need an abortion, two... sixteen... 
                         Um, it was approximately two months 
                         and four days ago that I had the 
                         sex. That's a guestimate. Okay, next 
                         Saturday? Great.

               She hangs up the phone.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         I hate it when adults use the term 
                         "sexually active."

               INT. HEALTH CLASS - DAY (FLASHBACK)

               A HEALTH TEACHER in slo-mo puts a condom on a banana.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         What does that even mean? Can I 
                         deactivate someday, or is this a 
                         permanent state of being? I guess 
                         Bleeker went live that night we did 
                         it. I guess he hadn't done it before, 
                         and that's why he got that look on 
                         his face.

               INT. BLEEKER'S HOUSE - MOLD-O'-RIFIC BASEMENT - NIGHT 
               (FLASHBACK)

               We see Paulie's face at the moment of his deflowering: he's 
               comically wide-eyed with shock.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               Juno, her father MAC, her stepmother BREN, and LIBERTY BELL 
               sit at a very typical kitchen table, eating dinner. MAC 
               shovels food while chatting about his day.

                                     MAC
                         You should have seen this octopus 
                         furnace. I had to get out my Hazmat 
                         suit just to get up in there...

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         My dad used to be in the Army, but 
                         now he's just your average HVAC 
                         specialist. He and my mom got divorced 
                         when I was five. She lives on a Havasu 
                         reservation in Arizona...

               PHOTO: ARIZONA TRAILER PARK

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         ...with her new husband and three 
                         replacement kids. Oh, and she 
                         inexplicably mails me a cactus every 
                         Valentine's Day.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - DAY

               PILE OF NEGLECTED CACTI festering in a corner of Juno's room.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         And I'm like, "Thanks a heap, Coyote 
                         Ugly. This cactus-gram stings even 
                         worse than your abandonment."

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               BREN is cutting up LIBERTY'S food diligently. Her nails are 
               brilliant, holding the silverware.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         That's my stepmom, Bren...

               INT. BREN'S WORKROOM - DAY

               Bren stitches a needlepoint pillow of a dog.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         She's obsessed with dogs...

               EXT. BREN'S TENS - DAY

               Bren's nail salon in all its glory.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         ...owns a nail salon called Bren's 
                         Tens...

               INT. BREN'S TENS - DAY

               Bren chats up a customer as she applies a fresh coat.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         ...and she always smells like 
                         methylmethacrylate.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               Liberty Bell coughs pitifully as Bren leans over her plate.

                                     MAC
                         So Juno, how did your maneuver go 
                         last night?

                                     JUNO
                         Which maneuver, sir? The one in which 
                         I moved an entire living room set 
                         from one lawn to another, or the one 
                         in which I cleared a sixty-four ounce 
                         blue slushie in ten minutes?

               Bren speaks in her strong city accent.

                                     BREN
                         Juno? Did you happen to barf in my 
                         urn? Mac, you know that nice urn by 
                         the front door, the one I got up in 
                         Stillwater? I found some weird blue 
                         shit, I mean stuff, gunk, in there 
                         this morning.

                                     JUNO
                         I would never barf in your urn, 
                         Brenda. Maybe L.B. did it.

               We see Liberty Bell blithely pouring bacon bits onto her 
               dinner.

                                     MAC
                         Liberty Bell, if I see one more Baco 
                         on that potato, I'm gonna kick your 
                         monkey ass.

               EXT. WOMEN'S CHOICE CLINIC - DAY

               Juno trudges toward the front entrance of the clinic. There 
               is a lone ABORTION PROTESTER, a teenager of Asian descent 
               holding a hugely oversized sign that reads "NO BABIES LIKE 
               MURDERING."

                                     LONE PROTESTER
                              (chanting in extremely 
                              shy, accented voice)
                         All babies want to get borned! All 
                         babies want to get borned!

               Juno recognizes the PROTESTER as a classmate of hers.

                                     JUNO
                         Uh, hi Su-Chin.

                                     SU-CHIN
                         Oh, hi Juno. How are you?

                                     JUNO
                         Good. I'm good.
                              (pause)
                         Did you finish that paper for Worth's 
                         class yet?

                                     SU-CHIN
                         No, not yet. I tried to work on it a 
                         little last night, but I'm having 
                         trouble concentrating.

                                     JUNO
                         You should try Adderall.

                                     SU-CHIN
                         No thanks. I'm off pills.

                                     JUNO
                         Wise move. I know this girl who had 
                         a huge crazy freakout because she 
                         took too many behavioral meds at 
                         once. She took off her clothes and 
                         jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale 
                         Mall and she was like, "Blaaaaah! 
                         I'm a kraken from the sea!"

                                     SU-CHIN
                         I heard that was you.

                                     JUNO
                         Well, it was nice seeing you.

               She continues on toward the clinic entrance.

                                     SU-CHIN
                              (calling out)
                         Juno! Your baby probably has a beating 
                         heart, you know. It can feel pain. 
                         And it has fingernails.

                                     JUNO
                         Really? Fingernails?

               She considers the concept, then pushes open the clinic door.

               INT. WOMEN'S CHOICE CLINIC - RECEPTION - DAY

               The receptionist sits behind a pane of bulletproof glass. 
               The waiting room is semi-crowded, occupied mostly by pregnant 
               women, teens and ill-behaved children.

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         Welcome to Women's Choice, where 
                         women are trusted friends. Please 
                         put your hands where I can see them 
                         and surrender any bombs.

               Juno flashes her best jazz hands.

                                     JUNO
                         Hi. I'm here for the big show?

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         Your name, please?

                                     JUNO
                         Juno MacGuff.

               The receptionist raises a pierced eyebrow and arranges some 
               paperwork on a clipboard.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         She thinks I'm using a fake name. 
                         Like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa.

               The receptionist hands Juno the clipboard and a pen.

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         I need you to fill these out, both 
                         sides. And don't skip the hairy 
                         details. We need to know about every 
                         score and every sore.

               The receptionist reaches into one of those ubiquitous women's 
               clinic CONDOM JARS, and holds up a fistful of purple rubbers.

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         Would you like some free condoms? 
                         They're boysenberry.

                                     JUNO
                         No thank you. I'm off sex.

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         My partner uses these every time we 
                         have intercourse. They make his balls 
                         smell like pie.

                                     JUNO
                         Congrats.

               She takes a seat in the WAITING ROOM and rifles through a 
               pile of old magazines. The magazine selection is lots of 
               "mommy mags" and health related periodicals. She selects an 
               issue of Family Digest and gingerly flips through for a few 
               moments.

               Then she looks over and notices the FINGERNAILS of a nearby 
               teen, who looks as nervous as she does. The girl bites her 
               thumbnail and spits it onto the floor.

               Juno looks away, but immediately notices another waiting 
               woman, who absently scratches her arm with long fake nails. 
               Suddenly, she sees fingernails EVERYWHERE. The receptionist 
               clicks her nails on the front desk. Another woman blows on 
               her fresh manicure. Everyone seems to be fidgeting with their 
               fingers somehow. Juno suddenly looks terror-stricken...

                                                                    CUT TO:

                                     PUNK RECEPTIONIST
                         Excuse me, Miss MacGoof?

               There's no answer. We see that Juno's chair is EMPTY.

               The receptionist cranes her neck and sees the front door 
               drift shut. Juno's figure recedes into the distance as she 
               tears off down the street, running as fast as she can.

               EXT. LEAH'S HOUSE - DAY

               Leah's front door swings open to reveal a breathless Juno 
               standing sheepishly on the porch. Leah sighs.

                                     LEAH
                         What are you doing here, dumbass? I 
                         thought I was supposed to pick you 
                         up at four.

                                     JUNO
                         I couldn't do it, Leah! It smelled 
                         like a dentist in there. They had 
                         these really horrible magazines, 
                         with, like, spritz cookie recipes 
                         and bad fiction and water stains, 
                         like someone read them in the tub. 
                         And the receptionist tried to give 
                         me these weird condoms that looked 
                         like grape suckers, and she told me 
                         about her boyfriend's pie balls, and 
                         Su-Chin Kuah was there, and she told 
                         me the baby had fingernails. 
                         Fingernails!

                                     LEAH
                         Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's 
                         claws could scratch your vag on the 
                         way out?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm staying pregnant, Le.

                                     LEAH
                         Keep your voice down dude, my mom's 
                         around here somewhere. She doesn't 
                         know we're sexually active.

                                     JUNO
                         What does that even mean? Anyway, I 
                         got to thinking on the way over. I 
                         was thinking maybe I could give the 
                         baby to somebody who actually likes 
                         that kind of thing. You know, like a 
                         woman with a bum ovary or something. 
                         Or some nice lesbos.

                                     LEAH
                         But then you'll get huge. Your chest 
                         is going to milktate. And you have 
                         to tell everyone you're pregnant.

                                     JUNO
                         I know. Maybe they'll canonize me 
                         for being so selfless.

                                     LEAH
                         Maybe they'll totally shit and be 
                         super mad at you and not let you 
                         graduate or go to Cabo San Lucas for 
                         spring break.

                                     JUNO
                         Bleeker and I were going to go to 
                         Gettysburg for spring break.

               Leah sighs, as if there's no helping her nerdy friend.

                                     LEAH
                         Well, maybe you could look at one of 
                         those adoption ads. I see them all 
                         the time in the Penny Saver.

                                     JUNO
                         There are ads? For parents?

                                     LEAH
                         Oh yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn." 
                         They're right by the ads for like, 
                         iguanas and terriers and used fitness 
                         equipment. It's totally legit.

                                     JUNO
                         Come on, Leah. I can't scope out 
                         wannabe parents in the Penny Saver! 
                         That's tacky. That's like buying 
                         clothes at the Pump n' Munch.

               EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY

               Juno and Leah are sitting at a bench in a park. They slurp 
               giant blue slushies and sift through a pile of Penny Savers.

               Juno has her pipe with her.

                                     JUNO
                         The Penny Saver sucks.

                                     LEAH
                         Yeah, but it sucks for free.

               They turn the pages in silence for a moment. Their lips and 
               teeth are Windex-blue.

                                     LEAH
                         Look at this one "Wholesome, 
                         spiritually wealthy couple have found 
                         true love with each other."
                              (checks to see that 
                              Juno is paying 
                              attention)
                         "All that's missing is your bastard."

                                     JUNO
                              (reading a different 
                              page)
                         There's a guy in here who's giving 
                         away a piano. Free for the hauling! 
                         We should put it in Bleeker's yard.

                                     LEAH
                         You're not listening to me.

                                     JUNO
                         No, I heard you. I just can't give 
                         the baby to people who describe 
                         themselves as "wholesome." I'm looking 
                         for something a little edgier.

                                     LEAH
                         What did you have in mind, a family 
                         of disturbed loners who are into 
                         gunplay and incest?

                                     JUNO
                         I was thinking a graphic designer, 
                         mid-thirties, and his cool Asian 
                         wife who dresses awesome and plays 
                         bass. But I'm trying to not be too 
                         particular.

                                     LEAH
                         All right, how about this one? 
                         "Healthy, educated couple seeking 
                         infant to join our family of five. 
                         You will be compensated. Help us 
                         complete the circle of love."

                                     JUNO
                         Yeesh, they sound like a cult. 
                         Besides, they're greedy bitches. 
                         They already have three kids!

                                     LEAH
                         Hey, Juno. Juno! Look at this one.

               She points to the paper and motions for Juno to look. Juno 
               scans the ad silently.

               We see the ad. It contains a photo of an attractive couple 
               with ambiguous Mona Lisa smiles. It reads "Educated, 
               successful couple wishes to..."

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         They were Mark and Vanessa Loring, 
                         and they were beautiful even in black 
                         and white.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S WINDOW - NIGHT

               We see Paulie's bedroom window -- festooned with childish 
               curtains -- and the light on inside.

               INT. BLEEKER'S HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Bleeker lies on his Car-bed in his track uniform, listening 
               to the same LP from when he and Juno went all the way.

               He stares between the pages of his embossed Dancing Elk Prep 
               yearbook.

               We see the object of his gaze is Juno's black and white 
               YEARBOOK PHOTO. Next to it, we see a sloppy, handwritten 
               message from Juno. We hear Juno's voice reading the message:

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         Hey Bleeker! Spank off to this with 
                         motion lotion. Just kidding (kind 
                         of.) Your best friend, Juno.

               Bleeker picks up the phone. It's the same HAMBURGER PHONE 
               Juno has. He reconsiders and puts it down.

               There's a knock on the bedroom door.

               BLEEKER'S MOM pokes her dowdy head inside.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         Paul? Are you coming downstairs to 
                         eat?

                                     BLEEKER
                         I don't think so.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         You ran eight miles today, Puppy.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I'm not hungry, oddly.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         But it's breakfast for supper. Your 
                         favorite, Paulie. I made French toast 
                         and sausage. Patties, not linkies, 
                         just like you like it.

               Bleeker places his hand silently on his stomach.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         Juno MacGuff called while you were 
                         out running. She wants to know if 
                         you're coming to her little 
                         coffeehouse performance on Saturday.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Thanks for the message.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         You know how I feel about her.

                                     BLEEKER
                         You've mentioned it about fifty times.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         I just hope you don't consider her a 
                         close friend.

               Bleeker's mom gives up and closes the door.

               We see that Bleeker is clutching a pair of PANTIES in one 
               hand, which he slowly releases as the 45 ends.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

               Bren and MAC are seated on the couch. Leah is standing nearby 
               for reinforcements. Juno paces nervously, trying to suss out 
               how to break the massive news.

                                     JUNO
                         I have no idea how to spit this out.

                                     BREN
                         Hon, did you get expelled?

                                     JUNO
                         No. The school would probably contact 
                         you in the event of my expulsion.

                                     BREN
                         Well, I was just asking. It seemed 
                         plausible.

                                     MAC
                         Do you need a large sum of money? 
                         Legal counsel?

                                     JUNO
                         No, no, I'm definitely not asking 
                         for anything. Except maybe mercy. 
                         Like, it would be really great if 
                         nobody hit me.

                                     MAC
                         What have you done, Junebug? Did you 
                         hit someone with the Previa?

                                     LEAH
                         Best to just tell them, man. Rip off 
                         the Band-Aid and let it bleed.

                                     JUNO
                         I'm pregnant.

               Bren and Mac are predictably speechless.

                                     BREN
                         Oh, God...

                                     JUNO
                         But I'm going to give it up for 
                         adoption. I already found the perfect 
                         people.

               Leah presents the Penny Saver photos of the Lornings.

                                     JUNO
                         They say they're going to pay my 
                         medical expenses and everything. I 
                         promise this will all be resolved in 
                         thirty-odd weeks, and we can pretend 
                         it never happened.

                                     MAC
                         You're pregnant?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm so sorry, you guys. If it's any 
                         consolation, I have heartburn that's 
                         like, radiating down to my kneecaps 
                         and I haven't gone number two since 
                         Wednesday. Morning!

                                     BREN
                              (interrupting)
                         I didn't even know you were sexually 
                         active!

               Juno cringes upon hearing her most-hated term.

                                     MAC
                         Who is the kid?

                                     JUNO
                         The baby? I don't know anything about 
                         it yet. I only know it's got 
                         fingernails, allegedly.

                                     BREN
                         Nails? Really?

                                     MAC
                         No, I mean the father! Who's the 
                         father, Juno?

                                     JUNO
                         Oh. It's, well, it's Paulie Bleeker.

               Bren and Mac burst into shocked laughter.

                                     JUNO
                         What?

                                     MAC
                         Paulie Bleeker? I didn't know he had 
                         it in him!

                                     BREN
                              (giggling)
                         He just doesn't look, well, virile.

                                     LEAH
                         I know, right?

                                     MAC
                         Okay, this is no laughing matter.

                                     JUNO
                              (indignant)
                         No, it's not. Paulie is virile, by 
                         the way. He was very good in... chair.

               Leah fires a be quiet glance at Juno.

                                     MAC
                         Did you say you were thinking about 
                         adoption?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, well, there's this couple who've 
                         been trying to have a baby for five 
                         years.

                                     LEAH
                         We found them in the Penny Saver by 
                         the exotic birds section.

               Bren looks understandably alarmed. Juno hastily attempts to 
               make the situation sound more legitimate.

                                     JUNO
                         But they have a real lawyer and 
                         everything. I'm going to meet with 
                         them next weekend.

                                     BREN
                         Junebug, that is a tough, tough thing 
                         to do. Probably tougher than you can 
                         understand right now.

                                     JUNO
                         Well, I'm not ready to be a mom.

                                     MAC
                         Damn skippy, you're not! You don't 
                         even remember to give Liberty Bell 
                         her breathing meds.

                                     JUNO
                         Once! And she didn't die, if you 
                         recall!

                                     BREN
                         Honey, had you considered, you know, 
                         the alternative?

               Leah and Juno exchange glances.

                                     JUNO
                         No.

                                     BREN
                         Well, you're a brave young lady. 
                         You're made of stronger stuff than I 
                         thought. You're a little Viking!

                                     JUNO
                         Cool it.

                                     BREN
                         First things first, we have to get 
                         you healthy. You need prenatal 
                         vitamins. Incidentally, they'll do 
                         incredible things for your nails, so 
                         that's a plus. Oh, and we need to 
                         schedule a doctor's appointment. 
                         Find out where you're going to 
                         deliver.

                                     JUNO
                         The term "deliver" is so weird. Can 
                         we not say "deliver"?

                                     LEAH
                         How does "crap it out" sound?

                                     MAC
                         Juno, I want to come with you to 
                         meet these adoption people. You're 
                         just a kid. I don't want you to get 
                         ripped off by a couple of babystarved 
                         wingnuts.

                                     JUNO
                         Sure, Dad.

               Mac nods, satisfied, then contemplates the situation dismally.

                                     MAC
                         I thought you were the kind of girl 
                         who knew when to say when.

                                     JUNO
                         I have no idea what kind of girl I 
                         am.

                                     BREN
                              (sensing tension)
                         Why don't you girls go upstairs for 
                         a while? I think Mac's gonna blow.

               Juno and Leah hightail it upstairs.

                                     MAC
                         Just tell it to me straight, Bren. 
                         Do you think this is my fault? Her 
                         mother's fault?

                                     BREN
                         I think kids get bored and have 
                         intercourse. And I think Junebug was 
                         a dummy about it. But we have to 
                         move on from here and help her figure 
                         it out.

                                     MAC
                         I'm not ready to be a Pop-Pop.

                                     BREN
                         You're not going to be a Pop-Pop. 
                         And Juno's not going to be a ma. 
                         Somebody else is going to find a 
                         precious blessing from Jesus in this 
                         garbage dump of a situation. I 
                         friggin' hope.

                                     MAC
                              (conspiratorially)
                         Did you see it coming when she sat 
                         us down here?

                                     BREN
                         Oh God yeah. But I was hoping she 
                         was expelled or into hard drugs.

                                     MAC
                         That was my first instinct too. Or 
                         D.W.I. Anything but this. And I'm 
                         going to punch that Bleeker kid in 
                         the weiner the next time I see him.

                                     BREN
                         Oh Mac, no! He's a sweet kid. You 
                         know it wasn't his idea.

               Mac shrugs in agreement.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - DAY

               Music plays as we see SPARSE IMAGES OF VANESSA LORING'S HANDS 
               preparing the house for Juno's arrival --

               Sprucing a vase of FLOWERS.

               Straightening a FRAMED PHOTO of the Lorings.

               Dusting off a table with one of those WETNAPS for furniture.

               Lining up a shelf of BOOKS.

               EXT. LORING NEIGHBORHOOD - PREVIA - DAY

               The Previa cruises slowly into the Loring's fancy gated 
               community. Mac pulls over and parks on the curb.

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY

               Mark and Vanessa Loring have an impressive, though generic 
               McMansion. The entire yard is unlandscaped soil. Mac presses 
               the doorbell while Juno chews her nails uncomfortably. Both 
               look mortified as they wait for someone to greet them.

               VANESSA opens the door. She's a pretty, meticulous woman in 
               her early thirties. Very Banana Republic.

                                     VANESSA
                         Hi! I'm Vanessa. You must be Juno 
                         and Mr. MacGuff. I'm Vanessa.

                                     JUNO
                         Vanessa, right?

                                     MAC
                         Hello. Thank you for having me and 
                         my irresponsible child over to your 
                         home.

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh no. Thank you. Come on in.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY

               Vanessa awkwardly leads them into her home.

                                     VANESSA
                         Can I take your coats?

                                     JUNO
                         Sure.

               She takes off her hooded sweatshirt and thrusts it into 
               Vanessa's arms who sets it on a bench.

                                     JUNO
                         Wicked pic in the Penny Saver, by 
                         the way. Super classy. Not like those 
                         other people with the fake woods in 
                         the background. Like I'm really going 
                         to fall for that, you know?

                                     VANESSA
                         You found us in the Penny Saver?

               MARK LORING appears next to Vanessa. He's a boyishly 
               attractive guy in his mid-thirties.

               He glances sheepishly at Vanessa upon hearing the Penny Saver 
               mention, then extends his hand to Mac and Juno.

                                     MARK
                         Hi. I'm Mark Loring. I'm the husband.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

               Mark and Vanessa usher Juno and Mac into the austere, spacious 
               living room. A woman in a business suit sits on the couch 
               with a briefcase in her lap.

                                     MARK
                         This is our attorney, Gerta Rauss.

                                     JUNO
                              (in exaggerated, 
                              growling German accent)
                         Geeeerta Rauuuss!

                                     GERTA
                              (straight)
                         Nice to meet you.

               Mac seizes Mark's hand and pumps it heartily.

                                     MAC
                         I'm Mac MacGuff, and this, of course, 
                         is my daughter Juno.

                                     MARK
                         Like the city in Alaska?

                                     JUNO
                         No.

                                     MARK
                         Cool. Well, let's sit down and get 
                         to know each other a bit.

                                     VANESSA
                         I'll get drinks. What would everyone 
                         like? I've got Pellegrino, Vitamin 
                         Water...

                                     JUNO
                         A Maker's Mark, please. Up.

                                     MAC
                         She's joking. Junebug has a wonderful 
                         sense of humor, which is just one of 
                         her many genetic gifts.

                                     JUNO
                         I also have good teeth. No cavities. 
                         We finally got fluoridated water in 
                         Dancing Elk.

               She bares them frighteningly to demonstrate.

               Vanessa stares, unflappable.

                                     MAC
                         We're fine, thank you.

               Mac and Juno join Mark and Gerta Rauss on the couch.

                                     GERTA
                         So, Juno. First off, how far along 
                         are you?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm a junior.

                                     GERTA
                         No, I mean in your pregnancy.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh. Uh, my stepmom took me to the 
                         doctor yesterday and they said I was 
                         twelve weeks.

               Vanessa enters with the refreshments on a tray.

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh, that's marvelous. So you're almost 
                         into your second trimester, then?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, apparently. I'm having it on 
                         May 4.

                                     VANESSA
                         The tough part's almost over for 
                         you. I mean, my girlfriends always 
                         tell me the first couple months are 
                         the hardest.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, but I hardly noticed it. I'm 
                         more worried about the part where I 
                         have to start wearing jeans with an 
                         elastic panel in the front.

                                     VANESSA
                         I think pregnancy is beautiful.

                                     JUNO
                         Well, you're lucky it's not you.

               Vanessa's looks to the ceiling.

                                     MARK
                              (clearing throat)
                         So, let's discuss how we're gonna do 
                         this... thing.

                                     JUNO
                         Well, I just have the baby and give 
                         it to you, right?

                                     GERTA
                         Mark and Vanessa are willing to 
                         negotiate an open adoption.

                                     MAC
                              (protective)
                         Wait. What does that mean?

                                     GERTA
                         It means they'd send annual updates, 
                         photos, let Juno know how the baby 
                         is doing as he or she grows up. Of 
                         course, Juno's legal rights would be 
                         terminated...

                                     JUNO
                         Whoah. I don't want to see pictures. 
                         I don't need to be notified of 
                         anything. Can't we just kick it old 
                         school? I could just put the baby in 
                         a basket and send it your way. You 
                         know, like Moses in the reeds.

                                     MARK
                         Technically, that would be kickin' 
                         it Old Testament.

               Mark and Juno lock eyes.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah. Yeah! The way people used to 
                         do it. Quick and dirty, like ripping 
                         off a Band-Aid.

                                     GERTA
                         Well, then we agree a traditional 
                         closed adoption would be best for 
                         all involved, then?

                                     JUNO
                         Shit, yeah. Close it up.

               Vanessa is clearly ecstatic.

                                     MARK
                         Obviously, we'll compensate you for 
                         your medical expenses.

                                     VANESSA
                         Are you looking for any other 
                         compensation?

                                     MAC
                         Excuse me?

                                     JUNO
                         Well, no... I'm not going to sell 
                         the baby. I just want it to grow up 
                         with people who are ready to love it 
                         and be parents. I'm in high school, 
                         dude. I'm ill-equipped.

                                     VANESSA
                         You're doing an amazing and selfless 
                         thing for us.

                                     MARK
                         Vanessa has wanted a baby since we 
                         got married.

                                     VANESSA
                         I want to be a mommy so badly!

               Juno and Mac stare at her.

                                     MAC
                         You don't say.

                                     VANESSA
                         Well, haven't you ever felt like you 
                         were born to do something?

                                     MAC
                         Yes. Heating and air conditioning.

                                     VANESSA
                         Well, I was born to be a mother. 
                         Some of us are.

                                     JUNO
                         Mark, are you looking forward to 
                         being a dad?

               Mark is caught off guard.

                                     MARK
                         Sure, why not? I mean, every guy 
                         wants to be a father. Coach soccer, 
                         help with science projects and... I 
                         don't know. Fatherly stuff.

               Mac casts a subtle, dubious glance at Mark.

                                     VANESSA
                         Well, shall we start looking over 
                         the paperwork? Gerta has already 
                         drafted some preliminary documents.

                                     JUNO
                         Can I use the facilities first? Being 
                         pregnant makes you pee like 
                         Seabiscuit.

                                     VANESSA
                         Sure. The powder room down here is 
                         being re-tiled, but you can use the 
                         master bath upstairs. Go up, then 
                         turn left and on your right...

                                     JUNO
                         Room with a toilet, got it.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY/STAIRS - DAY

               Juno heads into the foyer and up the stairs. We see a posed 
               photo of Mark and Vanessa in the stairwell. Their house is 
               beautiful, but frigid. Juno rubs her arms, shivering.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - BATHROOM - DAY

               The Loring's bathroom is huge. Juno flushes and goes to the 
               double sink to wash her hands. She opens the overhead cabinet 
               and sees Vanessa's toiletries. She spritzes on some perfume 
               and examines the more expensive grooming items. There's a 
               crinkled tube of LUBE in the cabinet. Juno picks it up, 
               fascinated. She rubs a drop of it between her hands and runs 
               it through her hair like pomade.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY

               Juno opens the bathroom door and instantly BUMPS into Mark.

                                     JUNO
                         Whoops! Yikes, I didn't expect to 
                         see you up here.

                                     MARK
                         Sorry. I was just getting something.

                                     JUNO
                         Did your wife send you up here to 
                         spy on me?

                                     MARK
                         What? No! Do we come off like paranoid 
                         yuppies or something?

                                     JUNO
                         Well, you don't just invite a random 
                         pregnant teenager into your house 
                         and leave her unsupervised. I could 
                         be a total klepto, for all you know.

                                     MARK
                         I don't get a klepto vibe from you. 
                         Evil genius? Maybe. Arsonist? Wouldn't 
                         rule it out.

                                     JUNO
                         I did steal a squirt of perfume. 
                         What do you think? It's Clinique 
                         Happy.

               She holds her WRIST up to Mark's twitching nostrils.

                                     JUNO
                         Smell those sparkling topnotes!

               Mark inhales.

                                     MARK
                         Am I supposed to feel happy now?

                                     JUNO
                         You should be happy, Holmes. I'm 
                         giving you and Vanessa the gift of 
                         life. Sweet, screaming, pooping life! 
                         And you don't even have to be there 
                         when the baby comes out of me all 
                         covered in...

                                     MARK
                         Viscera?

                                     JUNO
                         Blood and guts.

                                     MARK
                         We'd better get back downstairs ASAP.

               Juno mocks his use of "ASAP" silently.

                                     JUNO
                              (halting)
                         Wait a minute. Is that a Les Paul?

               Juno is staring into a room with the door slightly ajar. We 
               see GUITARS mounted on the wall, and the edges of posters.

                                     MARK
                         Oh. That's, uh, my room. Vanessa 
                         lets me have a room for all my old 
                         stuff.

                                     JUNO
                         Wow, you get a whole room in your 
                         own house? She's got you on a long 
                         leash there, Mark.

                                     MARK
                         Shut up.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S "SPECIAL" ROOM - DAY

               The walls are plastered with FRAMED POSTERS of early-90s alt 
               rock bands. (Mudhoney, Jane's Addiction etc.) Mark removes 
               his LES PAUL from its moorings and hands it to Juno.

                                     JUNO
                         It's beautiful. I've always liked 
                         Gibson better than Fender.

                                     MARK
                         What do you play?

                                     JUNO
                         I rock a Harmony.

                                     MARK
                              (holding back a chuckle)
                         Oh.

                                     JUNO
                         What? I'm a pawn shop rocker.

                                     MARK
                         Sorry. I swear I'm not a gear snob.

               Juno turns the guitar over, examining it closely.

                                     JUNO
                         What is that, Mahogany? What happens 
                         if you crack the neck?

                                     MARK
                         Tell me about it. I used to play in 
                         a really tight band back when I lived 
                         in Chicago, and one night we opened 
                         for the Melvins... do you know who 
                         the Melvins are?

                                     JUNO
                              (lying)
                         Yeah.

                                     MARK
                         Well, we were playing with them and 
                         I busted this guitar onstage. It 
                         cost me $800 and a dime bag just to 
                         have it fixed.

                                     JUNO
                         When was this, like '96?

                                     MARK
                         '93. I'm telling you that was the 
                         best time for rock and roll.

                                     JUNO
                         Nuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1. You 
                         weren't there, so you can't understand 
                         the magic.

                                     MARK
                         You weren't even alive!

               INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

               Vanessa, Mac and Gerta Rauss are waiting in awkward silence 
               for Juno and Mark to return. Mac notices a brand new PILATES 
               MACHINE sitting in its packaging in a corner of the room.

                                     MAC
                         So. What's that thing?

                                     VANESSA
                         A Pilates machine?

                                     MAC
                         What do you make with that?

                                     VANESSA
                         You don't make anything. It's for 
                         exercising.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - SAME

               Mark and Juno tool around on the guitars unplugged. They 
               play little riffs. He teaches her a couple chords.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME

                                     MAC
                         My wife just ordered one of those 
                         Tony Little Gazelles off the TV, you 
                         know, from the guy with the ponytail?

               Vanessa and Gerta have no response.

                                     MAC
                         That guy just doesn't look right to 
                         me.

               Suddenly, a shriek of AMP FEEDBACK, followed by loud, 
               discordant GUITAR STRUMMING can be heard drifting down from 
               upstairs. Vanessa's looks to the ceiling.

                                     VANESSA
                              (to her guests)
                         Will you excuse me?

               INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - DAY

               Mark has strapped on the Les Paul and is playing and singing. 
               "Doll Parts" by Hole.

                                     JUNO AND MARK
                              (quietly singing 
                              together)
                         "Yeah, they really want you... they 
                         really want you... they really do."

               Building together.

                                     JUNO AND MARK
                              (singing together and 
                              connecting)
                         Yeah, they really want you... they 
                         really want you... and I do to.
                              (both blush)

               VANESSA appears in the doorway. Juno immediately puts down 
               the guitar. Mark doesn't notice her immediately.

                                     MARK
                              (passionate singing)
                         I WANT TO BE THE...
                              (notices Vanessa)
                         Oh, sorry honey...

               Mark clumsily puts down the guitar and stands up.

                                     VANESSA
                         You guys are playing music?

                                     MARK
                         Juno just wanted a closer look at 
                         Kimber here.

                                     JUNO
                         Your guitar is named Kimber?

                                     MARK
                         Yeah.

                                     JUNO
                         That's all right. My axe is named 
                         Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. 
                         Franklin was the hot one with the 
                         polio.

                                     VANESSA
                         I think Gerta is waiting for us 
                         downstairs with some important stuff 
                         for us to go over.

               Mark hangs the guitars back on the wall. He and Juno exit 
               the room, chastised. Vanessa looks to Mark in question.

                                     VANESSA
                         Didn't mean to interrupt the jam 
                         sessions.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - DAY

               Juno and Mac have put their coats on and are in the process 
               of leaving. Gerta hands Juno the DOCUMENTS. Vanessa and Mark 
               trail behind.

                                     GERTA
                         So, look those over and give me a 
                         call at my office if you have any 
                         questions.

                                     VANESSA
                         Juno, we'd really appreciate it if 
                         you could keep us updated on any 
                         doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, 
                         other things of that nature.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh. Sure. Of course you'd want to 
                         know how your kid is cooking.

                                     VANESSA
                         So, then, you really think you're 
                         going to go ahead with this?

               Mac STARES at Juno gravely.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah. For sure. I like you guys.

               Juno looks at Mark.

                                     VANESSA
                         How sure? Percentage-wise, would you 
                         say you're 80% sure, 90% sure?

               Mark seems visibly embarrassed by Vanessa's manic demeanor.

                                     JUNO
                         I'm going to say I'm 104% sure.

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh really?

                                     JUNO
                         Look, if I could give it to you now, 
                         I would. But it probably looks like 
                         a Sea Monkey at this point, so I 
                         think we should leave it in there 
                         for a while until it gets cuter, you 
                         know?

                                     MAC
                         I think that's a great idea.

                                     MARK
                         That's great, right? Stellar news. 
                         Well, you guys drive safe, and we'll 
                         hear from you soon, all right?

                                     MAC
                         All right, take care of yourselves.

               Juno and Mac exit. Mark shuts the door. All is silent in the 
               foyer. Mark, Vanessa and Gerta stand motionless. Gerta pumps 
               her fist triumphantly, trying to create a mood of celebration.

                                     GERTA
                              (overly aggressive)
                         All RIGHT!

               Vanessa buries her head in her hands and weeps hoarsely.

               EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - MORNING

               It is now WINTER. The TRACK TEAM jogs in formation, leaving 
               tracks in the snow. Those bastards never stop running.

               EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - DAY

               Bleeker is running alone on the track. His exhalations are 
               icy puffs in the air. Bleeker's friend VIJAY jogs up alongside 
               him. Vijay is a solemn, skinny boy, much like Bleeker.

                                     VIJAY
                         Hey man.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Oh, hey Vijay.

                                     VIJAY
                         Did you hear Juno MacGuff is pregnant?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yup.

                                     VIJAY
                         Just like our moms and teachers!

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yup.

                                     VIJAY
                         Did you hear it's yours?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yup.

                                     VIJAY
                         What a trip, man.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I don't really know anything about 
                         it.

                                     VIJAY
                         You should grow a moustache. You're 
                         a real man now.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I can't grow a moustache. It never 
                         comes in evenly.

                                     VIJAY
                         Me neither. But I'm going to stop 
                         wearing underpants in order to raise 
                         my sperm count. See you.

               VIJAY jogs off. Bleeker STOPS and wipes away his sweat.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - HEAD OFFICE - DAY

               We're looking over Juno's now FIVE MONTH PREGNANT BELLY to a 
               school administrator filling out a slip.

               Juno takes the slip, turns around and smiles all the way 
               out.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY

               Juno exits the head office and bumps into Bleeker.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Hey Juno... A couple of us are going 
                         to the cineplex after school to donut 
                         that movie with the guy with eighteen 
                         kids.

                                     JUNO
                         Sorry, Bleek... Going for my 
                         ultrasound. Gotta note and everything.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Okay, cool.

                                     JUNO
                         I'll try to drop by later.

               INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

               SPLOOGE! We see ultrasound goo being squirted onto Juno's 
               exposed pregnant belly. An ULTRASOUND TECHNICIAN is using a 
               Doppler device to view the contents of her burgeoning bump. 
               Bren and Leah ooh and ahh at the resulting image.

               The tech takes measurements and types them into her database.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         That's the feet...

                                     ALL THREE
                         Oooh...

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         And there's a hand...

               The monitor reveals the baby's head.

                                     ALL THREE
                              (various)
                         Check that out... No way...

                                     BREN
                              (dreamily)
                         Would you look at that?

                                     LEAH
                         Check out Baby Big-Head. That kid is 
                         scary!

                                     JUNO
                         Hey, I'm a sacred vessel. All you've 
                         got in your belly is Taco Bell!

                                     LEAH
                         Touche.

                                     JUNO
                              (gazing at the monitor)
                         It is really weird looking. It's 
                         like it's not even real. I can't 
                         believe there are saps who actually 
                         cry at these things.

               Juno and Leah look at BREN, who is dabbing her eyes 
               discreetly.

                                     BREN
                         What? I'm not made of stone.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         Well, there we have it. Would you 
                         like to know the sex?

                                     LEAH
                         Aw, please Junebug?

                                     JUNO
                         No way. No, I definitely don't want 
                         to know.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         Planning to be surprised when you 
                         deliver?

                                     JUNO
                         I want Mark and Vanessa to be 
                         surprised, and if I know, I won't be 
                         able to keep myself from telling 
                         them and ruining the whole thing.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                              (condescending)
                         Are Mark and Vanessa your friends at 
                         school?

                                     JUNO
                         No, they're the people who are 
                         adopting the baby.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         Oh. Well, thank goodness for that.

                                     BREN
                         Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         I just see a lot of teenage mothers 
                         come through here. It's obviously a 
                         poisonous environment for a baby to 
                         be raised in.

               Juno, Leah and Bren become immediately defensive.

                                     JUNO
                         How do you know I'm so poisonous? 
                         Like, what if the adoptive parents 
                         turn out to be evil molesters?

                                     LEAH
                         Or stage parents!

                                     BREN
                         They could be utterly negligent. 
                         Maybe they'll do a far shittier job 
                         of raising a kid than my dumbass 
                         stepdaughter ever would. Have you 
                         considered that?

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         No... I guess not.

                                     BREN
                         What is your job title, exactly?

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         Excuse me?

                                     BREN
                         I said, what-is-your-job-title, Missy?

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.

                                     BREN
                         Well I'm a nail technician, and I 
                         think we both ought to stick to what 
                         we know.

                                     ULTRASOUND TECH
                         What are you talking about?

                                     BREN
                         You think you're special because you 
                         get to play Picture Pages up there?

               Bren gestures to the ULTRASOUND MONITOR.

                                     BREN
                         My five year-old daughter could do 
                         that, and let me tell you, she is 
                         not the brightest bulb in the tanning 
                         bed. So why don't you go back to 
                         night school in Manteno and learn a 
                         real trade!

               The ULTRASOUND TECH exits in a huff.

                                     JUNO
                         Bren, you're a dick! I love it.

               INT. JUNO'S BEDROOM - DAY

               Juno lays in bed checking out the ULTRASOUND PRINT OUT.

               EXT. LORING NEIGHBORHOOD - PREVIA - AFTERNOON

               The Previa drives into the front gate of Mark and Vanessa's 
               exclusive community. A sign on the gate reads "Glacial 
               Valley."

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - AFTERNOON

               Juno rings the doorbell, shifting her weight in the cold.

               MARK answers the door, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.

                                     MARK
                         Juno? Wow, I didn't expect to see 
                         you here.

                                     JUNO
                         I've got something really cool to 
                         show you guys. Is Vanessa here?

                                     MARK
                         No, she's working late tonight. She's 
                         trying to accrue some extra time off 
                         for when, you know...

               He gestures awkwardly to Juno's belly.

                                     JUNO
                         Right. I hear they can be kind of a 
                         time-suck.

                                     MARK
                         Come on in. You wanna Ginseng Cooler?

                                     JUNO
                         Sure. What is it with you rich people 
                         and your herb-infused juices?

                                     MARK
                         I don't know. Something to do with 
                         the four-packs...
                              (adding)
                         ...They're not bad.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

               Mark leads Juno into the kitchen, where he pours two drinks. 
               The STEREO blares in the background.

                                     JUNO
                         Why aren't you at work?

                                     MARK
                         I mostly work from home. I'm a 
                         composer.

                                     JUNO
                         No shit. Like Johannes Brahms?

                                     MARK
                         No, more commercial stuff.

                                     JUNO
                         Like what?

                                     MARK
                         Commercials.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh.

                                     MARK
                         Have you seen those ads for Titanium 
                         Power men's deodorant?

                                     JUNO
                              (singing)
                         Titanium Power! Get more snatch by 
                         the batch!

                                     MARK
                         I wrote that.

                                     JUNO
                         You're kind of a sellout, aren't 
                         you? What would the Melvins say?

                                     MARK
                         They'd say you came a long way out 
                         here not knowing if anyone would be 
                         home.

               She holds up a manila envelope.

                                     JUNO
                         Come on, you're going to want to sit 
                         down for this.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - DEN - AFTERNOON

               As they move into the living room, Juno sits down and motions 
               for Mark to join her on the couch.

                                     JUNO
                         Park it, dude.

               Mark sits down. With great fanfare, Juno retrieves a dark, 
               glossy sheet from the envelope. It's her ULTRASOUND.

                                     JUNO
                         Behold, good sir! The very first 
                         photo of your future child.

                                     MARK
                         You're kidding!

               Mark EXAMINES the ultrasound, baffled.

                                     JUNO
                         I think it kind of looks like my 
                         friend, Paulie.

                                     MARK
                              (joking)
                         Oh, is he bald and amorphous?

                                     JUNO
                         No, he's the dad.

               Mark looks jolted, as if it's the first time he considered 
               that her baby might have a father. He stands up and holds 
               the photo up to the light critically.

                                     MARK
                         Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?

                                     JUNO
                         The doctor can tell, but I decided 
                         not to know. I want it to be a big 
                         surprise.

                                     MARK
                         Well, it can really only go two ways.

                                     JUNO
                         That's what you think. I drink tons 
                         of booze so you might get one of 
                         those scary neuter-babies that's 
                         born without junk.

                                     MARK
                         Junk?

                                     JUNO
                         You know... it's parts...

                                     MARK
                         I know what junk is.

                                     JUNO
                              (teasing)
                         Yeah?

                                     MARK
                         We definitely want it to have junk.

                                     JUNO
                         Well don't worry about it. My stepmom 
                         is forcing me to eat really healthy. 
                         She won't even let me stand in front 
                         of the microwave or eat red M&Ms. 
                         Hope you're ready.

               Mark chuckles.

                                     MARK
                         Wait...do you hear that?

               A new SONG has begun. Mark closes his eyes in ecstasy and 
               walks toward the stereo. Juno follows him toward the source 
               of the music, looking perplexed by how happy he is.

                                     JUNO
                         What is it?

                                     MARK
                         It's only my favorite song. It's 
                         Sonic Youth doing "Superstar" by the 
                         Carpenters.

                                     JUNO
                              (excited)
                         I've heard the Carpenters before. 
                         Chick drummer and freaky dude. Not 
                         unlike the White Stripes.

                                     MARK
                         You haven't heard the Carpenters 
                         like this. Listen.

               Mark grabs the STEREO REMOTE off the kitchen counter and 
               turns up the volume to a roar. Mark and Juno stand in silence 
               in the kitchen. Mark mouths along with the lyrics.

                                     MARK
                              (lipsynching)
                         Don't you remember you told me you 
                         loved me, baby...

                                     JUNO
                         Hey, I like this.

                                     MARK
                         This album is all Carpenters covers 
                         by alt-rock bands. It's called If I 
                         Were a Carpenter. It is God. I'll 
                         rip a copy for you before you leave.

                                     JUNO
                         You don't have to do that.

                                     MARK
                         It's the least I can do. What did 
                         you say your favorite band was?

                                     JUNO
                         I didn't. But it's a three-way tie 
                         between the Stooges, Patti Smith and 
                         the Runaways.

                                     MARK
                         Yeah, I definitely need to make you 
                         some CDs. At least while my kid is 
                         hanging out in there.

               He gestures at Juno's burgeoning paunch.

               Mark walks over to his music collections and starts pulling 
               CD's. He's got a Carpenter's disc, the "No Alternative" 
               charity compilation, and Mother Love Bone.

               Juno spots a VHS TAPE on the coffee table and picks it up.

                                     JUNO
                              (reading title)
                         The Wizard of Gore?

                                     MARK
                              (distracted)
                         Oh yeah. It's Herschel Gordon Lewis. 
                         He's the ultimate master of horror.

                                     JUNO
                         Please. Dario Argento is the ultimate 
                         master of horror.

               Mark SWIVELS AROUND slowly on his desk chair, surprised.

                                     MARK
                         Argento's good, but Lewis is 
                         completely demented. We're talking 
                         buckets of goo. Red corn syrup 
                         everywhere. And fake brains up the 
                         yin-yang.

                                     JUNO
                              (examining the tape 
                              box)
                         Frankly, this looks kind of stupid.

               Mark gives a look - "Oh, Really?"

               INT. LORING HOUSE - DEN - AFTERNOON

               We see some particularly memorable footage from The Wizard 
               of Gore.

               Mark and Juno are watching the movie and drinking root beer 
               floats. They're sitting dangerously close on the sofa.

                                     JUNO
                              (watching movie)
                         This is even better than Suspiria. 
                         You've got decent taste in slasher 
                         movies, Mark.

                                     MARK
                         Here's to dovetailing interests.

               He raises his mug in a toast and Juno clinks it awkwardly.

                                     JUNO
                         So, have you and Vanessa thought of 
                         a name for the baby yet?

                                     MARK
                         Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison 
                         for a girl.

                                     JUNO
                              (aghast)
                         Madison? Isn't that kind of... I 
                         don't know, gay?

                                     MARK
                         God, pretentious much? I guess 
                         everyone should have a mysterious 
                         name like Juno, huh?

                                     JUNO
                         My dad went through this phase where 
                         he was obsessed with Greek and Roman 
                         mythology. He named me after Zeus's 
                         wife. I mean, Zeus had other lays, 
                         but I'm pretty sure Juno was his 
                         only wife. She was supposed to be 
                         really beautiful but really mean. 
                         Like Diana Ross.

                                     MARK
                         That suits you.

                                     JUNO
                         Uh, thanks.

                                     MARK
                         You know, not many teenage girls in 
                         your situation would actually go 
                         through with this.

                                     JUNO
                         I weighed my options. But after all 
                         this, I'm glad I didn't, you know, 
                         get rid of it. I want to have it. 
                         For you guys.

                                     MARK
                         You're something else.

               A door suddenly slams upstairs. Vanessa's home.

                                     MARK
                         Vanessa. Shit, you better get out of 
                         here.

                                     JUNO
                         Why? What the big deal?

                                     MARK
                         Nothing. She just hates when I sit 
                         around watching movies and 'not 
                         contributing.'

                                     JUNO
                         I'll handle this. I'm really good at 
                         diffusing mom-type rage.

               Juno jumps up and rushes out.

                                     MARK
                         Wait... aww, crap!

               INT. LORING HOUSE - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

               Vanessa slides her BRIEFCASE off her shoulder and ventures 
               into the living room. She's struggling to carry some oversized 
               shopping bags.

                                     VANESSA
                         Mark? Are you home? I want to show 
                         you some things I picked up.

               Juno intercepts her breathlessly, clutching the ULTRASOUND 
               photo. Mark trails behind her.

                                     JUNO
                         Hi Vanessa!

               Vanessa JUMPS and makes a strangled sound.

                                     VANESSA
                         Juno! God, you startled me. What are 
                         you doing here? What's wrong?

                                     JUNO
                         Nothing...

                                     VANESSA
                         Then what's going on?

                                     JUNO
                         I went to the doctor today.

               Vanessa is obviously entertaining some worse-case scenarios. 
               Her eyes are wide and she's uncharacteristically ruffled.

                                     VANESSA
                         Is the baby okay?

                                     JUNO
                         Sure. It's the right size and 
                         everything. I even saw its phalanges 
                         today! Check this...

               She holds the ULTRASOUND up to show Vanessa and drapes her 
               arm around her.

                                     VANESSA
                         What...

                                     JUNO
                         This is the baby. Your baby.

               Vanessa drops the shopping bags, sick with relief.

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh my God...

                                     JUNO
                              (kindly)
                         Doesn't it look like it's waving? 
                         It's kind of like it's saying "Hi, 
                         Vanessa. Will you be my mommy?"

                                     VANESSA
                         Yeah. Yeah, it kind of does.

                                     MARK
                         Juno was nice enough to bring this 
                         by for us.

                                     JUNO
                         I came over as soon as I got that 
                         cold ultrasound goo off my pelvis. 
                         My stepmom verbally abused the 
                         ultrasound tech so we were escorted 
                         off the premises.

                                     VANESSA
                              (distracted)
                         Oh, that's great!

               She can't divert her gaze from the photo.

                                     JUNO
                         See? Nothing to worry about.

               Vanessa chuckles tightly, clearly embarrassed by her show of 
               emotion.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY WAY - DAY

               Vanessa and Mark walk Juno out. Juno peers at some shopping 
               bags from various kids stores.

                                     JUNO
                         Hey, what kind of swag did you score?

                                     MARK
                         Yeah. Mall madness, huh?

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh it's just some stuff I picked up. 
                         For, you know, the baby. Babies need 
                         a lot of things. I want everything 
                         to be just right.

                                     JUNO
                         I thought people got all that stuff 
                         at baby showers. When my stepmom had 
                         my sister I remember she got about a 
                         million presents. They were all lame 
                         though, so I wasn't jealous.

                                     MARK
                         I doubt anyone's throwing us a shower.

                                     JUNO
                         Why?

                                     VANESSA
                         Um, I think people are kind of unsure 
                         about the situation because it's 
                         not, you know, set in stone.

                                     JUNO
                         What do you mean? You mean...
                              (aghast)
                         Do you think I'm going to flake out 
                         on you?

                                     VANESSA
                         No, no, I don't think that, Juno. 
                         It's just that, we went through a 
                         situation before where it didn't 
                         work out.

               Juno glances at Mark and again at Vanessa. Vanessa looks 
               embarrassed.

                                     MARK
                         Cold feet.

                                     JUNO
                         You should have gone to China. I 
                         heard they give away babies like 
                         free iPods. They shoot 'em out of 
                         those T-shirt guns at sports events.

                                     VANESSA
                              (abruptly)
                         Right. Well, Juno, your parents must 
                         be wondering where you are. You might 
                         want to head home.

                                     JUNO
                         Naah. I'm already pregnant, so they 
                         figure nothing worse could happen to 
                         me. I gotta bounce anyway. It was 
                         nice seeing you guys again.

               She waves and heads for the door.

                                     MARK
                              (to Juno)
                         Hey, don't forget your bag.

               Vanessa looks pain-stricken as Mark helps Juno with her bag.

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - NIGHT

               Juno kicks the snow off her shoes before she enters.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Bren sits at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and an 
               issue of Dog Fancy.

               Juno enters nonchalantly, drinking a giant slushie.

                                     BREN
                         Where the hell have you been, Junebug?

                                     JUNO
                         I drove to St. Cloud to show Mark 
                         and Vanessa the ultrasound. And I 
                         wound up staying for a couple of 
                         hours.

                                     BREN
                         A couple of hours? Why are you going 
                         up there in the first place?

                                     JUNO
                         They said they wanted to know about 
                         this stuff. They said to keep them 
                         updated, so I did!

                                     BREN
                         You could have sent it to them. Why 
                         would you drive an hour out to East 
                         Jesus, Nowhere?

                                     JUNO
                         I don't know, I just did. And while 
                         we were waiting for Vanessa, Mark 
                         and I watched The Wizard of Gore and 
                         he burned me some CDs of weird music. 
                         He's kind of cool.

               A beat as Bren absorbs this.

                                     BREN
                         That was a mistake, Juno. Mark is a 
                         married stranger. You overstepped a 
                         boundary.

                                     JUNO
                         Listen, Bren-duhhh, I think you're 
                         the one overstepping boundaries. 
                         You're acting like you're the one 
                         who has to go through this and get 
                         huge and push a baby out of your vag 
                         for someone else. Besides, who cares 
                         if he's married? I can have friends 
                         who are married.

                                     BREN
                         It doesn't work that way, kiddo. You 
                         don't know squat about the dynamics 
                         of marriage.

                                     JUNO
                         You don't know anything about me!

                                     BREN
                         I know enough.

               Bren rises to leave, clutching the Dog Fancy magazine.

                                     JUNO
                              (gesturing to the 
                              magazine)
                         We don't even have a dog!

                                     BREN
                         Yeah, because you're allergic to 
                         their saliva. I've made a lot of 
                         sacrifices for you, Juno. And in a 
                         couple years you're going to move 
                         out -- and I'm getting Weimaraners.

                                     JUNO
                         Wow, dream big!

                                     BREN
                         Oh, go fly a kite.

               Bren STORMS out. Juno heads to the URN by the door and 
               defiantly pours the remains of her blue slushie into it.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - NIGHT

               Juno parks her PREVIA on the street. She walks up to the 
               house and rings the doorbell.

               BLEEKER'S MOM answers, visibly annoyed. Her eyes drift down 
               to Juno's middle.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive 
                         once. But now she looks a hobbit. 
                         The fat one that was in The Goonies.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         Hi Juno. What can I do for you?

                                     JUNO
                         I borrowed Paulie's physics notes in 
                         school today. I'm pretty sure he 
                         needs them back, or his grade could 
                         plummet to an A minus.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         Fine. Come in.

               She steals another glance at Juno's belly.

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT

               Bleeker's mom escorts Juno wordlessly up the stairs and down 
               the hallway to Paulie's bedroom. Juno discreetly tries to 
               charge ahead of her, but her expanding middle prevents her 
               from getting past Bleeker's mom. They share an extremely 
               awkward moment wedged side-by-side in the narrow hallway.

               Bleecker's mom nudges past Juno and knocks on Bleeker's 
               bedroom door. The door has a cheesy racecar-themed decoration 
               hanging on it that says PAULIE'S VRROOOM! It looks like 
               something a 5-year old might have.

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Paulie is on the floor surrounded by old quizzes, studying 
               like the tortured brainiac he is. Mrs. Bleeker opens the 
               bedroom door. Juno appears. Paulie jumps, startled.

                                     JUNO
                         Hey, don't concentrate so hard, man. 
                         I think I smell hair burning.

               Bleeker smiles faintly.

                                     BLEEKER'S MOM
                         Ten minutes.

               She closes the door halfway and leaves. Juno rolls her eyes 
               and pulls the door shut entirely.

                                     BLEEKER
                         What's up?

                                     JUNO
                         I just wanted to come over. You know, 
                         say hi. I miss hanging out with you 
                         on school nights.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I miss it too.

               He nervously cracks open a container of ORANGE TIC-TACS and 
               pours them into his mouth.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         Orange Tic-Tacs are Bleeker's one 
                         and only vice. When we made out, the 
                         day I got pregnant, his mouth tasted 
                         really tangy and delicious.

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - "MOLD-O'-RIFFIC" BASEMENT - NIGHT

               CU ON BLEEKER'S MOUTH AS HE KISSES JUNO FOR THE FIRST TIME

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Bleeker glances at Juno's midsection, embarrassed.

                                     BLEEKER
                         So, it looks like you're getting 
                         pregnant-er these days.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah. Um, I hooked up a whole private 
                         adoption thing. These married people 
                         in Saint Cloud are going to be the 
                         parents.

               Bleeker is visibly relieved.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Really? What are they like?

                                     JUNO
                         The guy is super cool! His name is 
                         Mark and he's into old horror movies 
                         and he plays guitar. I actually hung 
                         out with him today.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Is that normal?

                                     JUNO
                         I asked my dad and Bren not to narc 
                         us out to your folks, so we should 
                         be safe.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Oh. That's a relief.

               Juno walks over to the bed and sits down next to Bleeker.

                                     JUNO
                         I'm going to really start looking 
                         like a dork soon. Will you still 
                         think I'm cute if I'm huge?

                                     BLEEKER
                         I always think you're cute. I think 
                         you're beautiful.

               Juno is caught off guard by his sincerity.

                                     JUNO
                         Jesus, Bleek.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Well, I do.

               The song playing ends, and another one begins. It's "the 
               song," the track that Bleeker and Juno both recognize from 
               the infamous night in the basement.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Hey Junebug, when all this is over 
                         we should get the band back together 
                         again.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah. Sure. Once Tino gets a new 
                         drumhead we should be good to go.

                                     BLEEKER
                         We could get back together too.

                                     JUNO
                         Were we together?

               Bleeker picks at the carpet, dejected.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Well, we were once. You know, that 
                         time.

                                     JUNO
                         What about Katrina De Voort? You 
                         could go out with Katrina De Voort.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I don't like Katrina.

                                     JUNO
                         I totally heard you did.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I don't. Katrina smells like soup. 
                         Her whole house smells of soup.

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - DAY

               The house is covered in fresh snow.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - NURSERY - DAY

               Mark and Vanessa stand silently in the nursery. The walls 
               are primed slate gray. A single ANTIQUE ROCKING CHAIR sits 
               in the corner. Vanessa beams proudly and holds two paint 
               samples up near the wall.

                                     VANESSA
                         What do you think? Custard or 
                         Cheesecake?

                                     MARK
                         They're yellow.

                                     VANESSA
                         Well, I wanted to pick something 
                         gender-neutral for now. Once we get 
                         the baby, God willing, we can create 
                         a more decisive palette.

                                     MARK
                         Why do people think yellow is gender-
                         neutral? I don't know one man with a 
                         yellow bedroom.

                                     VANESSA
                         I think I'm leaning toward Custard 
                         in this light. I don't know. I should 
                         paint a small area...

                                     MARK
                         Or you could just wait a couple 
                         months. It's not like the baby's 
                         going to storm in here any second 
                         and demand dessert-colored walls.

                                     VANESSA
                         What to Expect says that readying 
                         the baby's room is an important 
                         process for women. It's called 
                         "nesting."

                                     MARK
                         Nesting, huh? Are you planning to 
                         build the crib out of twigs and 
                         saliva?

                                     VANESSA
                         You should read the book. I even 
                         flagged the "daddy chapters" for 
                         you.

                                     MARK
                         I just think it's too early to paint. 
                         That's my opinion.

                                     VANESSA
                         And I disagree.

               Mark shrugs, resigned.

               Vanessa points to the nursery's largest wall.

                                     VANESSA
                         That wall is going to need something. 
                         Maybe we could put our first family 
                         picture there.

                                     MARK
                         Hm.

                                     VANESSA
                         Can you see it?

               Mark stares at the wall, looking lost.

               INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - DAY

               Juno and Leah are walking through the mall, looking bored. 
               Juno is wearing one of Mac's giant hockey jerseys in lieu of 
               actual maternity wear. Leah gnaws on a giant cinnamon pretzel.

                                     LEAH
                         Yum. This pretzel tastes like a 
                         friggin' donut!

                                     JUNO
                         Share the love, Tits!

               She wrestles Leah for the pretzel. Onlookers stare at them, 
               appalled, as Leah puts Juno in a half-Nelson.

                                     JUNO
                              (to eavesdroppers)
                         She's assaulting me! She's denying 
                         me fresh-baked goodness!

               Leah claps a hand over Juno's mouth.

                                     JUNO
                              (muffled)
                         Hly shht!

                                     LEAH
                         What?

               Juno drags Leah behind a pillar and peers out from behind 
               it. They're watching a group of well-heeled women and their 
               children shopping en masse. One of the women is pushing a 
               toddler in an ultramodern stroller. And one of the women is 
               VANESSA, looking vaguely detached.

                                     JUNO
                              (hushed)
                         That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.

                                     LEAH
                         Of the Penny Saver Lorings?

               Juno nods.

                                     LEAH
                         No way! She's pretty.

                                     JUNO
                         You sound shocked or something.

                                     LEAH
                         I just thought she'd look really old 
                         in real life.

               The women gather near a play area, sip Frapps and loudly 
               discuss their outfits for an upcoming party.

                                     WOMAN #1
                         And I was like, "No offense, sweetie, 
                         but nobody looks good in gauchos."

                                     WOMAN #2
                         Especially not with her build.

                                     JUNO
                              (mimicking the women, 
                              Peanuts-style)
                         Wah-wah-waaah!

               One of the little girls in the group tugs at Vanessa's sleeve. 
               Vanessa happily follows the little girl over to their play 
               area and begins to play energetically with her.

               Juno watches intently, but Leah just snickers.

                                     LEAH
                         She's gonna steal that kid for her 
                         collection.

                                     JUNO
                         Right, seriously.

               They watch Vanessa for a few more moments. The other kids 
               wander over toward the play area while their mothers ignore 
               them. Vanessa continues to entertain the children.

                                     LEAH
                         Bo-ring!

               Leah stands up. Juno lingers for a moment.

               INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - ELEVATOR BANK - A HALF HOUR LATER

               Leah and Juno approach the elevator.

                                     JUNO
                         I want a huge cookie. And like, a 
                         lamb kebob. Simultaneously.

                                     LEAH
                         God, Spermy. Must you always feed?

               The elevator door opens, revealing... Vanessa.

                                     VANESSA
                         Juno?

               Juno tries her best to look enthused.

                                     JUNO
                         Well hi Vanessa! What brings you to 
                         the mall today?

                                     VANESSA
                         Just, you know, shopping with my 
                         girlfriends.

                                     LEAH
                         You're gay?

               Juno glares at Leah.

                                     VANESSA
                              (confused)
                         No...

                                     JUNO
                         Please excuse Leah. She's mentally 
                         challenged.

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh, okay. So... how are you feeling?

                                     JUNO
                         Happy? Oh, you mean like, physically. 
                         I'm good. Look, I have a snooze button 
                         now!

               She lifts her shirt and presses her popped-out NAVEL.

                                     VANESSA
                         That's great.

               Vanessa is admiring the belly, when Juno grimaces.

                                     JUNO
                         Dude, it's moshing all over.

               Vanessa looks confused.

                                     JUNO
                              (explains)
                         It's kicking.

               Vanessa nods in understanding then begins summoning the 
               courage for an unusual request.

                                     VANESSA
                         Um... Juno, can I -- Can I touch it?

                                     JUNO
                         Are you kidding? Everyone at school 
                         is always grabbing at my belly. I'm 
                         like a legend. They call me the 
                         Cautionary Whale.

               She grabs Vanessa's hand and plants it on her stomach.

                                     VANESSA
                         I can't feel anything.

               Vanessa moves her hand, wanting desperately to feel the baby.

                                     VANESSA
                         It's not moving for me.

               She says this as though it's an admission of failure.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh, you should try talking to it. 
                         They can apparently hear speech in 
                         there, even though it sounds all ten 
                         thousands leagues under the sea.

               Vanessa kneels down next to the swell of Juno's belly.

                                     VANESSA
                         Hi. Hi, baby. It's me. My name is 
                         Vanessa. I can't wait to meet you.

               Leah gives a look to Juno as if she's about to barf.

                                     VANESSA
                         Can you hear me sweet angel?

               Vanessa looks like she's giving up hope. Then suddenly,

                                     VANESSA
                         Oh my God -- It moved! I felt it!

                                     JUNO
                              (nods)
                         Elbow.

                                     VANESSA
                         Wow! It's magical.

               Juno smiles at Vanessa in awe of her genuine affection.

               EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - MORNING

               The streets are covered in muddy, slushy snow. The mud is 
               instantly TRAMPLED underfoot by the collective feet of the 
               Dancing Elk Track Team on their morning run.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - BREN'S DESK - DAY

               Bren cuts the top three inches off a pair of Juno's jeans. 
               Then, using a sewing machine, begins attaching an elastic 
               waistband.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY

               We're behind that same WAISTBAND, as Juno walks through the 
               students. Now, people seem to part the waters for the belly.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S "SPECIAL ROOM" - DAY

               Mark has the Les Paul on his lap as he stares at the boards 
               of an awful commercial.

               CU - THE SCRIPT (storyboards). A kitchen scene with a kid 
               eating a new breakfast product called -- BRUNCH BOWLZ.

               Annoyed and out of ideas, Mark begins an impromptu song...

                                     MARK
                         IF YOU'RE TIRED OF BREAKFAST 
                         BUT NOT HUNGRY FOR LUNCH, 
                         MICROWAVE YOURSELF 
                         A HEALTHY BOWL OF BRUNCH!

               Mark drops his head, dejected. Then, the phone rings.

                                     MARK
                              (picks up)
                         Hello?

               INTERCUT WITH:

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - PHONE BOOTH - DAY

                                     JUNO
                         So, I've been spending a lot of time 
                         listening to that weird CD you made 
                         me.

               Mark instantly smiles.

                                     MARK
                         Oh really? What's the verdict?

                                     JUNO
                         I sort of like it. I mean, it's cute.

                                     MARK
                         Cute?

                                     JUNO
                         Well, when you're used to the raw 
                         power of Iggy and the Stooges, 
                         everything else sounds kind of 
                         precious by comparison.

                                     MARK
                         I imagine you have a collection of 
                         punk chestnuts to prove your point.

                                     JUNO
                         Consider it your musical education.

                                     MARK
                         I'm dying to see what you've got to 
                         teach me.

                                     JUNO
                         Okay, stop surfing porn and get back 
                         to work. Just wanted to say hi.

                                     MARK
                         Go learn something.

               Mark hangs up. Smiles.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - DAY

               CU on Juno's tray sliding along, picking up an odd combo of 
               pregnant food.

               Pull up to find Juno and Leah walking their trays to a table.

                                     LEAH
                         God, you're getting huge. How many 
                         months has it been now?

                                     JUNO
                         Almost eight. You wouldn't believe 
                         how weird I look naked.

                                     LEAH
                         I wish my funbags would get bigger.

                                     JUNO
                         Trust me, you don't. I actually have 
                         to wear a bra now. And I have to rub 
                         this nasty cocoa butter stuff all 
                         over myself or my skin could get 
                         stretched too far and explode.

                                     LEAH
                         Hot!

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY

               Juno and Leah are sitting inside an emptied awards case on 
               the wall, eating their lunch.

               Juno notices that the other kids in the cafeteria can't help 
               but glance her way. Some look derisive, others are amused.

                                     JUNO
                         God, why is everyone always staring 
                         at me?

                                     LEAH
                         Well, you are kind of... convex.

               She illustrates by making a rounded gesture near her stomach.

                                     JUNO
                         Wow, someone's been actually doing 
                         her geometry homework for once!

                                     LEAH
                         I don't have a choice. Keith's been 
                         grading me really hard lately.

                                     JUNO
                         Please do not refer to Mr. Conyers 
                         as "Keith," okay? My barf reflex is 
                         already heightened these days.

                                     LEAH
                         Keith's hot.

                                     JUNO
                         Eww, he's all beardy!

               We see KEITH the teacher talking to some science kids in the 
               background. He has a Wild America beard. He lifts a cup of 
               coffee to his lips and slurps lustily.

               BACK ON JUNO AND LEAH:

                                     LEAH
                         Did you hear Bleek is going to prom 
                         with Katrina De Voort?

                                     JUNO
                         Katrina? Pfft, no way. He doesn't 
                         like Katrina. It must be a pity date.

                                     LEAH
                              (shrugging)
                         He asked her. I heard they were going 
                         to Benihana, then the prom, then to 
                         Vijay's parents' cabin.

                                     JUNO
                         Bleeker told me Katrina's whole house 
                         reeks of soup!

                                     LEAH
                         Oh, it totally does. I was there for 
                         her birthday about four years ago 
                         and it was like Lipton Landing. But 
                         you know, boys have endured worse 
                         things for nookie.

                                     JUNO
                         There's no way in hell they're having 
                         sex or even holding hands.

                                     LEAH
                         I wouldn't be so sure about that. He 
                         did it with you. He's a man now.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, well, Bleek trusted me. We're 
                         best friends.

                                     LEAH
                         Are you jealous? I thought you said 
                         you didn't care what he did.

                                     JUNO
                         I'm not jealous, and I don't care. I 
                         just know he doesn't like Katrina 
                         and I don't think he should toy with 
                         her emotions like that. She seems so 
                         nice and all.

                                     LEAH
                         Okay Juno, I'm really convinced.

                                     JUNO
                         Prom is for wenises, anyway. Once 
                         you're old enough to go, it's not 
                         cool anymore.

               INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - BLEEKER'S LOCKER - DAY

               Bleeker retrieves a book from his open locker. Juno marches 
               up to him, belly leading the way.

                                     JUNO
                         Are you honestly and truly going to 
                         prom with Katrina De Voort?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Um, hi?

                                     JUNO
                         Leah just told me you were going 
                         with her.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to 
                         go. A bunch of us from the team are 
                         going to Benihana, then the prom, 
                         then Vijay's parents' cabin.

               Juno is clearly AFFRONTED.

                                     BLEEKER
                              (meekly)
                         We're getting a stretch limo.

                                     JUNO
                         Your mom must be really glad you're 
                         not taking me.

                                     BLEEKER
                         You're mad. Why are you mad?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm not mad. I'm in a fucking great 
                         mood. Despite the fact that I'm 
                         trapped in a fat suit I can't take 
                         off, despite the fact that everyone 
                         is making fun of me behind my back, 
                         despite the fact that your little 
                         girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in 
                         art class yesterday...

                                     BLEEKER
                         Katrina's not my girlfriend! And I 
                         doubt she was actually giving you 
                         the stinkeye. She just looks like 
                         that all the time.

               A GIRL strides past (obviously KATRINA) with a sour look 
               aimed squarely at Juno.

                                     JUNO
                         Whatever. Have fun at the prom with 
                         Soupy Sales. I'm sure I can think of 
                         something way more cool to do that 
                         night. Like I could pumice my feet, 
                         or go to Bren's dumb Unitarian church, 
                         or get hit by a ten-ton truck full 
                         of hot garbage juice. All those things 
                         would be exponentially cooler than 
                         going to the prom with you.

               She starts to walk away.

               Bleeker takes a deep breath.

                                     BLEEKER
                         You're being really immature.

                                     JUNO
                              (turning around)
                         What?

               Bleeker BRACES himself and pushes up his lab goggles.

                                     JUNO
                         That's not how our thing works! I 
                         hurl the accusations and you talk me 
                         down, remember?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Not this time. You don't have any 
                         reason to be mad at me. You broke my 
                         heart. I should be royally ticked at 
                         you, man. I should be really cheesed 
                         off. I shouldn't want to talk to you 
                         anymore.

                                     JUNO
                         Why? Because I got bored and had sex 
                         with you one day, and then I didn't, 
                         like, marry you?

                                     BLEEKER
                         Like I'd marry you! You would be the 
                         meanest wife of all time. And anyway, 
                         I know you weren't bored that day 
                         because there was a lot of stuff on 
                         TV. The Blair Witch Project was on 
                         Starz, and you were like, "Oh, I 
                         want to watch this, but we should 
                         make out instead. La la la."

                                     JUNO
                         Forget it, Bleek. Take Katrina the 
                         Douche Packer to the prom. I'm sure 
                         you guys will have a really bitchin' 
                         time!

                                     BLEEKER
                              (searching for a 
                              comeback)
                         Yeah, well... I still have your 
                         underwear.

                                     JUNO
                         I still have your virginity!

                                     BLEEKER
                              (looking around, 
                              panicked)
                         Oh my God, SHUT UP!

                                     JUNO
                         What? Are you ashamed that we did 
                         it?

                                     BLEEKER
                         No...

                                     JUNO
                         Well at least you don't have to walk 
                         around with the evidence under your 
                         sweater. I'm a planet!

               Juno picks up her BACKPACK dejectedly and slides it over her 
               shoulder. She's about to walk away, when...

                                     BLEEKER
                         Wait, let me take that.

                                     JUNO
                         Huh?

                                     BLEEKER
                         You shouldn't be carrying that heavy 
                         bag. I'll take it.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh. It's fine. What's another ten 
                         pounds?

               She turns around, wipes TEARS off her cheek (making sure no 
               one sees) and continues down the hallway.

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - PREVIA - DAY

               Juno climbs ungracefully into the van. She starts the engine, 
               then pauses to dig through her backpack for something. She 
               produces a brush and begins brushing her hair in the rearview 
               mirror, examining herself self-consciously. She puts on some 
               Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker and backs out of the driveway.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - DAY

               Mark is seated at the computer, surfing a horror movie 
               website. He has the blank expression of a bored obsessive. 
               The doorbell rings.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - DAY

               Mark opens the door. Juno stands there, looking radiantly 
               knocked-up. She holds a stack of CDs. Mark breaks into a 
               grin.

                                     MARK
                         Wow. That shirt is working hard.

                                     JUNO
                              (furtive)
                         Is Vanessa here?

                                     MARK
                         Nope. We're safe.

               He and Juno smile conspiratorially.

                                     JUNO
                         Cool.

                                     MARK
                         Come on, I have something for you.

               He gestures for Juno to follow him into the house.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - BASEMENT - AFTERNOON

               The Lorings' basement is dank, cluttered unfinished and 
               unattractive, much like Paulie Bleeker's. Mark pulls a chain 
               to illuminate a bare bulb.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh, Mark! Is this the baby's room? 
                         It's beautiful!

                                     MARK
                         Hilarious. No, I just keep all of my 
                         old comics down here, and I want to 
                         show you one of them.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh God, you're one of those guys...

                                     MARK
                         You're gonna like this, I promise.

               Mark RUMMAGES through a cardboard box in the corner.

                                     MARK
                              (extracting a bagged 
                              COMIC from the box)
                         Here it is.

               He shows the COMIC to Juno. It's called "Most Fruitful Yuki." 
               It depicts a pregnant JAPANESE GIRL kicking ass and taking 
               names.

                                     JUNO
                         "Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is... Oh 
                         my god, she's a pregnant superhero!

                                     MARK
                         Isn't that great? I got it when I 
                         was in Japan with my band. She reminds 
                         me of you.

               Juno examines the comic. "Most Fruitful Yuki" does resemble 
               her.

                                     JUNO
                         Wow, I actually feel like less of a 
                         fat dork now.

                                     MARK
                         Most Fruitful Yuki is bad ass, man. 
                         You should be proud to be the same 
                         condition.

               She throws a KARATE KICK in Mark's direction with a KEE-YA!

               Juno is sincerely pleased.

                                     JUNO
                         Okay, how about some tunes?

               There's a battered portable CD player in the corner. Juno 
               kneels down and pops in one of the discs.

                                     JUNO
                         Now this first one is kinda slow. 
                         But it's Mott the Hoople so it's 
                         still totally rad and hardcore.

               Juno puts in the CD and "All The Young Dudes" fills the room.

               Mark Laughs.

                                     JUNO
                         What?

                                     MARK
                         I actually know this one.

                                     JUNO
                         You do?

                                     MARK
                         Yeah, this song's older than me, if 
                         you can believe that. I danced to it 
                         at my senior prom.

                                     JUNO
                         That's almost interesting, Mark. Who 
                         did you dance with?

                                     MARK
                         Her name was Cynthia Vogel and she 
                         was a good dance partner. Even let 
                         me put my hands on her butt.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh man, I can just picture you slow 
                         dancing like a dork!

               She mockingly places her hands on Mark's waist and moves 
               back and forth stiffly.

                                     MARK
                         No, I put my hands on your waist. 
                         Then you put your arms around my 
                         neck. That's how we did it in '88.

               Mark puts his hands on what remains of Juno's waist. She 
               drapes her arms around his neck self-consciously.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh, okay. Like this.

                                     MARK
                         You've never been to a dance, have 
                         you?

                                     JUNO
                              (casually defensive)
                         Only squares and nerds go to dances.

                                     MARK
                         What are you?

                                     JUNO
                         I don't know.

               They SWAY slowly to the music. Juno's belly bumps up against 
               Mark.

                                     MARK
                         I feel like there's something between 
                         us.

               They laugh.

               Juno rests her head on Mark's chest. They dance in silence 
               for a few moments, then stop moving. Mark pulls Juno as close 
               as he possibly can, given her expanding girth.

                                     MARK
                         I'm leaving Vanessa.

                                     JUNO
                              (quiet at first)
                         What?

                                     MARK
                         It's just not working out, but I'm 
                         getting my own place in the city... 
                         and I've got it all planned out. 
                         It's something I've wanted to do for 
                         a long time...

               Juno backs away.

                                     JUNO
                              (growing)
                         No.

                                     MARK
                         No?

                                     JUNO
                         No. No, you definitely cannot do 
                         that, Mark. That's a big, fat sack 
                         of no!

                                     MARK
                         What's the matter?

                                     JUNO
                         This isn't what we agreed on. You 
                         guys have to take care of... this! 
                         You are the chosen custodians of the 
                         big-ass bump!

               She GESTURES wildly to her belly. Suddenly, something matters 
               to her far more than the approval of an older guy.

                                     MARK
                         But I thought you'd be cool if...

                                     JUNO
                              (interrupting)
                         I want you guys to adopt the Buglet. 
                         I wanted everything to be perfect. 
                         Not shitty and broken like everyone 
                         else's family. Listen, once I have 
                         the baby, Vanessa is going to finally 
                         be happy, and everything will be all 
                         right. Believe me on this one!

                                     MARK
                         A baby is not going to fix everything. 
                         Besides, I don't know if I'm ready 
                         to be a father.

                                     JUNO
                              (aghast)
                         But you're old!

                                     MARK
                         I... How do you think of me, Juno? 
                         Why are you here?

                                     JUNO
                         I don't know. I just liked being 
                         your friend. I sort of liked becoming 
                         furniture in your weird life.

                                     MARK
                         This...
                              (he gestures to the 
                              dank surrounding 
                              room)
                         ...this is what my life has become. 
                         Stuff in boxes. Stuff underground. 
                         Is that so appealing to you?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, I guess... Is this my fault? 
                         Is Vanessa mad at you because of me?

                                     MARK
                         That's not the point. We're just not 
                         in love anymore.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, but didn't you love Vanessa 
                         when you married her? If you love 
                         someone once, you can love them again, 
                         I know it. My friend Leah has gone 
                         out with the same guy, like, four 
                         times. You're just not trying.

               Mark suddenly sees Juno for what she is -- a teenage girl.

                                     MARK
                         I'm such an idiot. I can't believe 
                         what an idiot I am.

               He paces over to the wall and KICKS it softly.

                                     JUNO
                         Please don't get a divorce! God, 
                         Mark, just do me a solid and stay 
                         with your wife.

                                     MARK
                         God, you're so young.

                                     JUNO
                         Not really. I'm sixteen. I'm old 
                         enough to tell when people are acting 
                         like total a-holes!

               Juno turns to leave, then shoots one furious look back at 
               Mark.

                                     JUNO
                         Oh and by the way, I bought another 
                         Sonic Youth album and it's the worst 
                         thing I've ever heard! It's just 
                         noise, man!

               She bolts up the stairs, sobbing.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

               Juno reaches the top of the stairs and scrambles toward the 
               front door, only to be intercepted by Vanessa, who's returning 
               home from work, carrying her briefcase and a freshly purchased 
               NURSING PILLOW. They nearly collide.

                                     VANESSA
                         Juno? What's going on?

                                     JUNO
                         Nothing.

               It's obvious from Juno's tears and flushed face that she's 
               lying. Vanessa instantly goes pale with fear, but she tries 
               her hardest to seem serene and "together" in front of Juno.

                                     VANESSA
                              (pretending to be 
                              calm)
                         Mark? Why is Juno crying?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm not crying. I'm allergic to fine 
                         home furnishings. See you later.

               She rushes toward the door.

                                     VANESSA
                         Hold on.

               Juno halts.

                                     VANESSA
                         Juno, what's the matter?

                                     MARK
                         She's hormonal. Right, June? It's 
                         just part of the whole process.

               Juno looks totally betrayed. She doesn't respond. Vanessa 
               looks at Juno's expression and knows Mark is lying.

                                     VANESSA
                         What did you do?

                                     MARK
                         I didn't do anything... I just... 
                         I've just been thinking.

                                     VANESSA
                              (you've been thinking?)
                         What?

                                     MARK
                         Just thinking if this is really the 
                         right thing for us.

                                     VANESSA
                         What are you referring to?

               She knows exactly to what he's referring.

                                     MARK
                         I've been just wondering if we're, 
                         you know, ready.

                                     VANESSA
                         Of course we're ready. We've taken 
                         all the classes. The nursery. The 
                         books --

                                     MARK
                         I know we're prepared. I just don't 
                         know if... I'm ready.

               Juno's face continues to fall. Vanessa notices.

                                     VANESSA
                              (to Juno)
                         Juno, don't worry about this. He 
                         just has cold feet. That's how boys 
                         are. The books all say the same thing. 
                         A woman becomes a mother when she 
                         gets pregnant. A man becomes a father 
                         when he sees his baby. He's going to 
                         get there. He'll get there.

               Juno ain't buying it.

                                     VANESSA
                              (to Mark)
                         Why don't we let Juno go home and we 
                         can discuss this later on, okay?

                                     MARK
                         It all just happened so fast. We put 
                         that ad in the paper. I thought it 
                         would take months if, you know, ever 
                         and then -- boom -- Two weeks later, 
                         she's in our living room.

                                     VANESSA
                              (quietly)
                         She answered our prayers.

                                     MARK
                              (ignores the comment)
                         Ever since, it's just been like a 
                         ticking clock.

               This stops Vanessa. Juno looks offended.

                                     VANESSA
                         What are you saying?

               A long hideous beat.

                                     MARK
                         It just feels a little like bad 
                         timing.

               Another hideous beat.

                                     VANESSA
                         What would be a good time for you?

                                     MARK
                         I don't know. There's just things I 
                         still want to do.

                                     VANESSA
                         Like what? Be a rock star?

                                     MARK
                         Don't mock me.

               Vanessa sighs. It's done.

                                     VANESSA
                         You're trying to do something that's 
                         never going to happen. And you know 
                         what? Your shirt is stupid. Grow up. 
                         If I have to wait for you to become 
                         Kurt Cobain, I'm never going to be a 
                         mother.

               Vanessa looks defeated.

                                     MARK
                         I never said I'd be a great father.

               We hear the front door closing. Vanessa and Mark look over 
               and notice that Juno has escaped the conflict.

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - AFTERNOON

               Juno runs up to her car sobbing. She struggles with the keys, 
               but finally makes it into the Previa and drives off.

               EXT. HIGHWAY - AFTERNOON

               The Previa slides off the road and comes to a stop on the 
               shoulder.

               INT. PREVIA - AFTERNOON

               Juno buckles over the steering wheel, crying, unwinding for 
               the first time since she became pregnant.

               After a beat, she begins to gather herself.

               INT. BLEEKER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Bleeker is sitting next to his bed, noodling on the guitar. 
               He's playing a theme that we will soon recognise.

               EXT. CORNER STORE - NIGHT

               Juno lays on the hood of her Previa, contemplating her future. 
               We push in close... when she gets an idea.

               She hops off the hood and scurries into the Previa where she 
               finds a crumpled up Jiffy Lube receipt. She unfolds it and 
               pulls out a pen, ready to write something... a note?

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - NIGHT

               It's quiet after the storm. Inside, we see Vanessa sitting 
               alone at her perfect dining room table, drinking a glass of 
               wine.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               Vanessa takes a sip and continues to let the days events 
               sink in. After a beat, Mark comes down the stairs to join 
               her.

                                     MARK
                         I called Gerta Rauss. She says she 
                         can represent both of us. They call 
                         it "collaborative divorce." It's 
                         apparently all the rage right now. 
                         And it's easy because we don't have 
                         children.

                                     VANESSA
                         No, it's fine. Thanks for making the 
                         call, I guess.

               Mark nods and sits down.

                                     VANESSA
                         We're actually, finally doing this?

                                     MARK
                         Looks like it, yeah.

                                     VANESSA
                         Have you found a place to stay?

                                     MARK
                         Yeah, downtown.

                                     VANESSA
                         A hotel?

                                     MARK
                         It's a loft.

                                     VANESSA
                              (lightly teasing)
                         Aren't you the cool guy?

               They STARE at the wall, speechless and defeated.

                                     VANESSA
                         I wanted a baby so bad. So bad.

               She buries her head in her hands.

                                     MARK
                         I know you did.

               There's a LOUD KNOCK on the front door.

               EXT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - NIGHT

               Mark opens the door. There's a folded piece of paper sitting 
               on the doormat. He squints and sees Juno pulling away in the 
               van.

               Mark carefully unfolds the piece of paper -- it takes a minute 
               because of Juno's proficiency in "teen girl origami." He 
               holds it up. We can see there's WRITING on the back.

                                     MARK
                         It looks like a bill from Jiffy-Lube.

               Vanessa takes the note from his hand and turns it over, 
               examining it.

                                     VANESSA
                         It's for me.

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - NIGHT

               Juno parks her car and walks up to her house. A porch light's 
               been left on for her, and the place looks cozy and inviting.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         I never realize how much I like being 
                         home unless I've been somewhere really 
                         different for a while.

               She picks a CROCUS from the unkempt garden near the porch 
               and sniffs it. She lifts her shirt and tickles her belly 
               with it. Then she tucks the flower into her unkempt hair.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Mac is alone at the kitchen table going over the family 
               finances while drinking one of Bren's weight loss shakes.

               Juno enters.

                                     JUNO
                         Hi Dad.

                                     MAC
                         Hey, big puffy version of Junebug. 
                         Where have you been?

                                     JUNO
                         Dealing with stuff way beyond my 
                         maturity level. Where is everyone?

                                     MAC
                         Bren took Liberty Bell to her tot 
                         ice skating class.

                                     JUNO
                         Tot ice skating? Tots can't ice skate. 
                         Liberty Bell's still getting the 
                         hang of stairs.

                                     MAC
                         No, but you know Bren. She dreams 
                         big.

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, she does.

                                     MAC
                         You look a little morose, honey. 
                         What's eating you?

                                     JUNO
                         I'm losing my faith in humanity.

                                     MAC
                         Think you can narrow it down for me.

                                     JUNO
                         I guess I wonder sometimes if people 
                         ever stay together for good.

                                     MAC
                         You mean like couples?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah, like people in love.

                                     MAC
                         Are you having boy trouble? I gotta 
                         be honest; I don't much approve of 
                         you dating in your condition, 
                         'cause... well, that's kind of messed 
                         up.

                                     JUNO
                         Dad, no!

                                     MAC
                         Well, it's kind of skanky. Isn't 
                         that what you girls call it? Skanky? 
                         Skeevy?

                                     JUNO
                         Please stop now.

                                     MAC
                              (persisting)
                         Tore up from the floor up?

                                     JUNO
                         Dad, it's not about that. I just 
                         need to know that it's possible for 
                         two people to stay happy together 
                         forever. Or at least for a few years.

                                     MAC
                         It's not easy, that's for sure. Now, 
                         I may not have the best track record 
                         in the world, but I have been with 
                         your stepmother for ten years now, 
                         and I'm proud to say that we're very 
                         happy.

               Juno nods in agreement.

                                     MAC
                         In my opinion, the best thing you 
                         can do is to find a person who loves 
                         you for exactly what you are. Good 
                         mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, 
                         handsome, what have you, the right 
                         person will still think that the sun 
                         shines out your ass. That's the kind 
                         of person that's worth sticking with.

               A wave of REALIZATION crosses Juno's face.

                                     JUNO
                         I sort of already have.

                                     MAC
                         Well, of course. Your old D-A-D! You 
                         know I'll always be there to love 
                         and support you, no matter what kind 
                         of pickle you're in.

               He nods toward her belly.

                                     MAC
                         Obviously.

               Juno laughs and hugs her father, planting a smooch on his 
               cheek.

                                     JUNO
                         I need to go out somewhere for just 
                         a little while. I don't have any 
                         homework, and I swear I'll be back 
                         by ten.

               She salutes and dashes out of the kitchen.

                                     MAC
                         You were talking about me, right?

               MONTAGE:

               INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - BLEEKER'S ROOM - NIGHT

               We push in over Bleeker sleeping in his car-bed towards the 
               window. We look out onto the lawn to find Juno and Leah 
               running back to the Previa, hopping in, and screeching off.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MORNING

               Bleeker steps out of the house for his usual early-morning 
               run. He looks down to see a message scrawled in chalk on the 
               stoop: "BLEEKER -- CHECK THE MAIL."

               He walks down to the end of the driveway and opens the latch 
               on the mailbox.

               At least one hundred containers of ORANGE TIC TACS come 
               pouring out in an colorful deluge. They spill out onto the 
               driveway. Bleeker smiles.

               EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - MORNING

               Juno waddles toward the field. The guys on the track team, 
               ridiculously arrayed as usual, are doing hurdler stretches. 
               They stare at her quizzically. Bleeker spots Juno approaching 
               and jogs up to the chainlink fence.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Did you put like a hundred things of 
                         Tic Tacs in my mailbox?

                                     JUNO
                         Yeah. That was me.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Why?

                                     JUNO
                              (blushes)
                         Because they're your fave. And you 
                         can never have too much of your 
                         favorite one-calorie breath mint.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Well... thanks. I think I'm pretty 
                         much set until college on the Tic 
                         Tac front.

                                     JUNO
                         You know, I've been thinking. I'm 
                         really sorry I was such a huge bitch 
                         to you. You didn't deserve that. You 
                         never deserve any of the poo I unload 
                         on you.

                                     BLEEKER
                         You know it's okay.

                                     JUNO
                         Also, I think I'm in love with you.

                                     BLEEKER
                         What, you mean as friends?

                                     JUNO
                         No, for real. I think you are the 
                         coolest person I've ever met. And 
                         you don't even have to try.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I try really hard, actually...

                                     JUNO
                         No, you're naturally smart. You always 
                         think of the funniest things to do. 
                         Remember when you passed me that 
                         postcard during Spanish class, and 
                         it was addressed like, "Junebug 
                         MacGuff, Row 4, Third Seat From the 
                         Blackboard"? And it said, "I'm having 
                         fun in Barcelona -- wish you were 
                         here"? That was hilarious.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I was just bored. I only think school 
                         is awesome like, 80% of the time.

                                     JUNO
                         Plus, you're the only person who 
                         doesn't stare at my stomach all the 
                         fucking time. You actually look at 
                         my face. And every time I look at 
                         you, the baby starts kicking me super 
                         hard.

                                     BLEEKER
                         It does?

               Juno presses Bleeker's hand against her belly.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Wizard!

                                     JUNO
                         I think it's because my heart starts 
                         pounding when I see you.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Mine too.

                                     JUNO
                         Basically, I'm completely smitten 
                         with you, and I don't care if I'm 
                         making an ass out of myself right 
                         now, because you've seen me make an 
                         ass out of myself a million times, 
                         and you still want to be my friend.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Well, yeah. You're the best friend 
                         I've ever had, even when you're being 
                         kind of evil.

                                     JUNO
                         That's all I need from you. That's 
                         more than I could ever ask for. You're 
                         just golden, dude.

                                     BLEEKER
                         Can we make out now?

                                     JUNO
                         Okay.

               Bleeker and Juno KISS, oblivious to the gawking track team 
               guys in the background.

               In the distance, near the school entrance, we see STEVE 
               RENDAZO (the kid who always TORMENTS Juno) regarding the 
               makeout session with a sad, envious expression.

               LEAH passes by, does a double take, then hurries up to the 
               fence, rolling her eyes.

                                     LEAH
                              (disgusted)
                         You know, you can go into early labor 
                         sucking face like that!

               Juno gives her the FINGER, not breaking the clinch with 
               Bleeker.

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - MORNING

               Juno is lying on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 
               She's more pregnant than we've ever seen her. She revs a 
               Matchbox car against the slope of her belly and lets it roll. 
               Juno suddenly sits up, looking thoroughly freaked. She pats 
               her lap frantically and jumps off the bed.

                                     JUNO
                         Dad!

               INTERCUT WITH:

               INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - MAC'S WORK DESK - SAME

               Mac looks up from the lure he's working on.

                                     MAC (O.S.)
                         What?!

                                     JUNO
                         Either I just pissed my pants or...

                                     MAC (O.S.)
                         Or...

                                     JUNO
                         Thundercats are go!

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DAY

               Mac, Bren and Liberty Bell rush out of the house. They pile 
               into the Previa at breakneck speed. Juno waddles behind them, 
               protesting.

               INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

               CU of Juno wearing a puffy surgical cap. She's being pushed 
               down the hospital corridor in a wheelchair. She bursts into 
               giggles. Pull back to reveal her that Leah is pushing her 
               rather aggressively. Leah jokingly steers the wheelchair 
               into a wall. Juno feigns whiplash.

               Bren appears behind them and orders Juno out of the 
               wheelchair, exasperated. She pulls off Juno's surgical cap. 
               Leah and Juno snicker.

               INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - DAY

               We see Juno is in a BIRTHING SUITE at the hospital, pacing 
               impatiently, bent over in obvious discomfort. She's wearing 
               her Chuck Taylors and knee socks with her hospital gown. 
               Leah and Bren stand nearby.

               Juno doubles over in pain.

                                     JUNO
                              (panicked)
                         Ow, ow, fuckity-ow. Bren, when do I 
                         get that Spinal Tap thing?

                                     BREN
                         It's called a spinal block, and you 
                         can't have it yet, honey. The doctor 
                         said you're not dilated enough.

                                     JUNO
                         You mean I have to wait for it to 
                         get even worse? Why can't they just 
                         give it to me now?

                                     BREN
                         Well, honey, doctors are sadists who 
                         like to play God and watch lesser 
                         people scream.

               Juno lets out a genuine shriek of pain.

                                     BREN
                              (checking her watch)
                         Shit.
                              (To the doctor)
                         Hey, can we give my kid the damn 
                         spinal tap already?

               INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - LATER

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         It really didn't hurt that bad having 
                         him.

               We see Juno in the process of delivery, from her POV. Leah 
               holds one of Juno's feet and Bren holds the other.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         The best part was when I peed on 
                         Leah during labor.

               We see Leah holding Juno's FOOT, which is shaking. Leah's 
               shirt is soaked. She rolls her eyes and mouths "Fuck you" at 
               Juno. Juno's raised MIDDLE FINGER enters the frame.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         And then, out of nowhere, there it 
                         was...

               The doctor reveals JUNO'S BABY BOY above the sheet.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         There he was.

               Juno looks at the baby in awe, then her eyes begin to 
               flutter... and she passes out.

               EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - AFTERNOON

               Paulie Bleeker is running as fast as his legs can carry him 
               on the Dancing Elk track. There's a very sparse crowd in the 
               bleachers. As Paulie approaches the tape, his envious teammate 
               Vijay looks on. Bleeker's mom is seated near Vijay, holding 
               a video camera.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         I decided to not call Bleeker to 
                         tell him that I was having the baby. 
                         He had a big meet against Manteno 
                         and I didn't want him to get all 
                         worried about me and choke.

               Paulie breaks the tape, winning the race. The fifteen or so 
               people in attendance cheer.

                                     VIJAY
                              (admiringly)
                         His legs are as swift as his seed.

                                     MRS. BLEEKER
                         What did you say?

               Bleeker pants at the finish line, dripping with sweat.

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         P. Bleeker has just broken a district 
                         record in the 400.

               Bleeker looks out at the BLEACHERS, scanning them for Juno.

               She's not there.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         But he figured it out anyway.

               Bleek takes off RUNNING toward the parking lot without 
               stopping to explain. His mother stands up, confused.

               INT. HOSPITAL - MATERNITY WARD - DAY

               A NURSE reaches into one of the maternity ward bassinets and 
               gently lifts up a swaddled newborn baby.

               The nurse turns and addresses an unseen spectator.

                                     NURSE
                         Would you like to meet your son?

               Pull back to reveal she's speaking to VANESSA, who stands, 
               paralyzed, several feet away.

                                     VANESSA
                         I have a son?

                                     NURSE
                              (amused)
                         You are the adoptive mother?

                                     VANESSA
                         I have a son.

                                     NURSE
                         Healthy kid, too. Didn't waste any 
                         time getting out.

               Vanessa reaches out for the baby and gingerly accepts him in 
               her eyes. She spends a few moments just looking at him.

               She feels someone watching her, then looks up to see a Bren 
               leaning against the doorway.

               Vanessa blinks away her tears self-consciously.

                                     VANESSA
                         How do I look?

                                     BREN
                              (gently)
                         Like a mom. Scared shitless.

               Vanessa laughs.

               INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - DAY

               Juno is curled up on her bed in the birthing room. The birth 
               is obviously over; there's that air of stillness and 
               accomplishment, a task completed. The doctors have cleared 
               out. Mac sits in a chair next to the bed, looking like he's 
               not sure what to say.

               He holds up a deck of Playing cards as if to initiate a game, 
               but Juno gently pushes his hand away. Their eyes meet. His 
               expression is helpless, hers is utterly drained.

                                     MAC
                         Someday, you'll be back here, honey. 
                         On your terms.

               Juno nods and swallows.

               Over Mac's shoulder, a silhouette appears in the doorway. 
               It's Bleeker in his track uniform.

               Juno sees him and bursts into sudden, ragged sobs. Mac glances 
               at her, alarmed. Paulie moves toward the bed. Mac clears his 
               throat, gets up and leaves the room.

               Paulie climbs onto the hospital bed and carefully puts his 
               arm around Juno. She leans into him, letting herself go for 
               the first time in months.

               INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - BIRTHING SUITE - EVENING

               Juno lies on the bed. She looks rested and relaxed compared 
               to her earlier crying jag, but her face is still pink and 
               swollen. Bleeker is curled up next to her, still in his track 
               uniform and spikes.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         Bleeker decided he didn't want to 
                         see the baby. Neither did I, really. 
                         He didn't feel like ours.

               INT. HOSPITAL - MATERNITY WARD - EVENING

               We see Vanessa leaning over the bassinet, unable to take her 
               eyes off the baby, touching it's hair reverently.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         I think he was always hers.

               INT. LORING HOUSE - NURSERY - DAY

               The nursery is perfectly decorated in Vanessa's immaculate 
               taste. Nothing looks as though it's been touched. We see the 
               antique ROCKING CHAIR sitting empty.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         It ended with a chair.

               We pan past the wall Vanessa had said "needed something." 
               There's a framed note on the wall. It looks like it was 
               handwritten on the back of a Jiffy Lube bill. We see that it 
               says: "Vanessa -- If you're still in, I'm still in. Juno."

               We move to the door and get a view of Vanessa's bedroom. We 
               see her lying in bed with a burp cloth draped over her 
               shoulder, feeding the baby. For the first time ever, Vanessa 
               looks disorganized, unshowered -- and incredibly happy. There 
               are formula bottles on the bedside table and a bassinet pushed 
               close to the bed. Obviously, she hasn't been away from the 
               baby for a single moment.

               The baby reaches up and grabs Vanessa's thumb. Vanessa glows 
               with an expression of pure bliss.

               EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DAY

               It's a sparkling summer afternoon. Juno wheels her bicycle 
               out of the detached garage. She waves goodbye to Bren, who 
               is playing in the yard with two WEIMARANERS. She looks almost 
               as happy with her dogs as VANESSA looked with her baby.

               EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - DAY

               Juno rides her bike aggressively down the street. Her guitar 
               is slung over her shoulder in a gig bag. She's obviously not 
               pregnant anymore. She looks happy, but older.

                                     JUNO (V.O.)
                         As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is 
                         totally boss. He is the cheese to my 
                         macaroni. I know people are supposed 
                         to fall in love before they reproduce, 
                         but normalcy's not really our style.

               As she tears recklessly down the street on her bikes, she 
               passes the Dancing Elk TRACK TEAM, still running in 
               outrageously skimpy shorts and bandanas.

               Juno RIDES up to a garage where Bleeker is sitting, tuning 
               his guitar.

               EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - DAY

               Juno bikes up to find Bleeker sitting on the stoop. She smiles 
               and takes out her guitar. She sits across from Bleeker and 
               pulls the pick out of the strings.

                                     JUNO
                         Ready?

               Bleeker nods.

               Juno begins strumming her guitar and playing "Anyone Else 
               But You," by the Moldy Peaches. Bleeker joins in. At first 
               their playing is discordant, but suddenly it works.

                                     BLEEKER
                         You're a part time lover and a 
                         fulltime friend. The monkey on your 
                         back is the latest trend. I don't 
                         see what anyone can see, in anyone 
                         else but you.

                                     JUNO
                         Here is the church and here is the 
                         steeple. We sure are cute for two 
                         ugly people. I don't see what anyone 
                         can see, in anyone else but you.

                                     BLEEKER
                         We both have shiny happy fits of 
                         rage. You want more fans, I want 
                         more stage. I don't see what anyone 
                         can see, in anyone else but you.

                                     JUNO
                         You are always trying to keep it 
                         real. I'm in love with how you feel. 
                         I don't see what anyone can see, in 
                         anyone else but you.

                                     BLEEKER
                         I kiss you on the brain in the shadow 
                         of a train. I kiss you all starryeyed, 
                         my body's swinging from side to side. 
                         I don't see what anyone can see, in 
                         anyone else but you.

                                     JUNO
                         The pebbles forgive me, the trees 
                         forgive me. So why can't you forgive 
                         me? I don't see what anyone can see, 
                         in anyone else but you.

                                     JUNO AND BLEEKER TOGETHER
                         Du du du du du du dudu. Du du du du 
                         du du dudu. I don't see what anyone 
                         can see, in anyone else but you.

               She and Bleeker exchange glances as they play. They smile 
               ambiguously. Juno leans over and kisses Bleeker on the cheek.

               Pull out to reveal the surrounding green suburb buzzing with 
               life and summer activity.

                                                              FADE TO BLACK



                                         THE END


Juno



Writers :   Diablo Cody
Genres :   Comedy  Drama  Romance


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