***** MARY POPPINS *****
Bert:
All right, ladies and gents,
Comical poems suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes.
All right, here we go.
Room here for everyone gather around
The constable's "responstable." Now, how does that sound?
Hello, Miss Lark I got one for you.
Miss Lark likes to walk in the park with Andrew.
Hello, Andrew.
Ah, Mrs. Cory a story for you.
Your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew.
Dear Miss Persimmon--
Miss Persimmon:
Yes?
Bert:
Wind's in the east, mist comin' in.
Like something is brewin' about to begin
Can't put me finger on what lies in store
But I feel what's to happen, all happened before.
I'm sorry. Where was I? Thank you, one and all, for your kind support. Ah, Miss Lark, thank you.
Crikey. Bless you, guv. Generosity itself, that's what you are. No charge.
Oh, it's you! Hello. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? All right. Come along with me. This
here's Cherry Tree Lane. Nice little spot, you might say. Number 17's just down a bit. Now, this
imposing edifice what first greets the eye, is the home of Admiral Boom, late of His Majesty's
Navy. Likes his house shipshape, he does, shipshape and Bristol fashion at all times.
Admiral Boom:
Time gun ready?
Mr Binnacle:
Ready and charged, sir.
Admiral Boom:
Three minutes and six seconds.
Mr Binnacle:
Aye, aye, sir.
Bert:
What he's famous for is punctuality. The whole world takes its time from Greenwich. But
Greenwich, they say, takes its time from Admiral Boom. What cheer, admiral?
Admiral Boom:
Good afternoon to you, young man. Where are you bound?
Bert:
Number 17. Got some parties here in tow what wants to see it.
Admiral Boom:
Enter that in the log.
Mr Binnacle:
Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom:
A word of advice, young man: storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing
there.
Bert:
Thank you, sir. Keep an eye skinned. Here we are. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Residence
of George Banks, Esquire. Hello, hello, hello. The admiral's right. Heavy weather brewin' at
number 17, and no mistake.
Mrs. Brill:
Leave her alone!
Ellen:
Shut up!
Mrs. Brill:
I'll show you. Don't you be trying to stop the wretched creature! Let her go, that's what I say, and
good riddance! I never liked her from the moment she set foot in the door.
Ellen:
But who gets stuck with the children with no nanny in the house? Me, that's who!
Mrs. Brill:
Her and her high and mighty ways! And that face of her that would stop a coal barge, it would.
Katie Nanna:
Indeed, Mrs. Brill! I wouldn't stay in this house another minute, not if you heap me with all the
jewels in Christendom.
Ellen:
No, no, Katie Nanna, don't go!
Katie Nanna:
Stand away from that door, my girl!
Ellen:
But what am I gonna tell the master about the children?
Katie Nanna:
It's no concern of mine. Those little beasts have run away from me for the last time.
Ellen:
They must be somewhere. Did you look around the zoo in the park? You know how Jane and
Michael is. Coo! You don't think the lion could've got at them, do ya? You know how fond they
was of hangin' around the cage.
Katie Nanna:
I said my say, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever.
Mrs. Brill:
Well, hip, hip, hooray! And don't stumble on the way out, dearie.
Ellen:
Now, now, Katie Nanna!
Mrs. Banks! She's home!
Mrs. Banks:
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And we'll sing in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette"
Good evening, Katie Nanna, Ellen. We had the most glorious meeting! Mrs. Whitbourne-Allen
chained herself to the wheel of the prime minister's carriage. You should've been there.
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks, I would like a word with you.
Mrs. Banks:
And Mrs. Ainslie, she was carried off to prison, singing and scattering pamphlets all the way!
Katie Nanna:
I'm glad you're home, madam. I've always given the best that's in me.
Mrs. Banks:
On, thank you, Katie Nanna. I always knew you were one of us.
We're clearly soldiers in petticoats
And dauntless crusaders for women's votes
Though we adore men individually
We agree that as a group they're rather stupid
Katie nanna:
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks:
Cast off the shackles of yesterday
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And they'll sing in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette"
Katie Nanna:
Being that as it may, I do not wish to offend, but I--
Mrs. Banks:
From Kensington to Billingsgate
One hears the restless cries
From every corner of the land: womankind arise
Political equality and equal rights with men
Take heart for Mrs. Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again
No more the meek and mild subservients we
We're fighting for our rights, militantly - never you fear
Katie Nanna:
If I may have a word, Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks:
So cast off the shackles of yesterday
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks!
Mrs. Banks:
And shoulder to shoulder into the fray
Our daughter's daughters will adore us
And they'll sing in grateful chorus - "well done"
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks:
"Well done"
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks:
"Well done, Sister Suf--"
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks!
Mrs. Banks:
What is it, Katie Nanna?
Katie Nanna:
Mrs. Banks, I have something to say to you.
Mrs. Banks:
Where are the children?
Katie Nanna:
The children, madam, to be precise, are not here. They've disappeared again.
Mrs. Banks:
Katie Nanna, this is really too careless of you. Doesn't it make the third time this week?
Katie Nanna:
The fourth, madam. And I for one have had my fill of it. I'm not one to speak ill of the children,
but--
Mrs. Banks:
Oh, please, when do you expect them home?
Katie Nanna:
I really couldn't say. And now if you'd be good enough to compute my wages, I'll--
Mrs. Banks:
Oh, gracious, Katie Nanna! You're not leaving? What will Mr. Banks say? He's going to be cross
enough as it is to come home and find the children missing. Ellen, put these things away. You
know how the cause infuriates Mr. Banks.
Ellen:
Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks:
Katie Nanna, I beseech you. Please reconsider. Think of the children. Think of Mr. Banks. He
was just beginning to get used to you.
Admiral Boom:
Posts, everyone! Four, three, two, one. Fire!
Mrs. Banks:
Katie Nanna, I do beseech you--
Katie Nanna:
My wages, if you please.
Mr. Banks:
Bit early tonight, aren't you, admiral?
Admiral Boom:
Nonsense. Bang on the dot, as usual. How are things in the world of finance?
Mr. Banks:
Never better. Money's sound. Credit rates are moving up, up, up. And the British pound is the
admiration of the world.
Admiral Boom:
Good man.
Mr. Banks:
How do things look from where you stand?
Admiral Boom:
Bit chancy, I'd say. The wind's coming up and the glass is falling. - don't like the look of it.
Mr. Banks:
Good, good, good.
Admiral Boom:
Banks, shouldn't wonder if you weren't steering into a nasty piece of weather. Banks! Do you
hear me?
Mr. Banks:
Hello, Katie Nanna. That must be heavy. Allow me.
Katie Nanna:
Hmph!
Mr. Banks:
What a very pretty hat.
I feel a surge of deep satisfaction
Much as a king astride his noble steed - thank you.
When I return from daily strife, to hearth and wife
How pleasant is the life I lead
Mrs. Banks:
Dear, it's about the children.
Mr. Banks:
Yes, yes, yes.
I run my home precisely on schedule
At 6:01 I march through my door
My slippers, sherry and pipe are due at 6:02
Consistent is the life I lead
Mrs. Banks:
George, they're missing.
Mr. Banks:
Splendid. Splendid.
It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910
King Edward's on the throne it's the age of men
I'm the lord of my castle the sovereign, the liege
I treat my subjects, servants children, wife with a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige
It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion
Are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed
And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed
Ah, lordly is the life I lead
Winifred, where are the children?
Mrs. Banks:
They're not here, dear.
Mr. Banks:
What? Well, of course they're here! Where else would they be?
Mrs. Banks:
I don't know, George
Mr. Banks:
You don't know?
Mrs. Banks:
Well, they're missing. Katie Nanna has looked everywhere.
Mr. Banks:
Very well. I'll deal with this at once.
Give me the police station, quickly, please.
Mrs. Banks:
I don't think we need bother the police, dear. The facts of the matter--
Mr. Banks:
Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts. One fact, and one fact alone is crystal clear!
Katie Nanna's faltered at her post. She's let the family down. And I shall bring her to boo-- oh.
She's left us, hasn't she?
Mrs. Banks:
Yes, dear, only just.
Mr. Banks:
What, uh-- yes. George Banks here. Yes. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. It's a matter of some urgency.
I should like you to send a policeman around immediately.
Mrs. Banks:
The policeman's here, George!
Mr. Banks:
What? Oh, how very prompt. What wonderful service. Thank you so much. Good night. Come
in, constable. Come in.
Constable:
Thank you, sir. While going about my duties on the other side of the park, I noted some
valuables that had gone astray. I believe they're yours, sir.
Mr. Banks:
Valuables?
Constable:
Come along, now. Come along.
Mrs. Banks:
Jane! Michael!
Mr. Banks:
Winifred, please don't be emotional.
Constable:
Oh, I wouldn't be too hard on 'em, sir. They've had a long, weary walk today.
Mr. Banks:
Children, come here at once. Well?
Jane:
I'm sorry we lost Katie Nanna, Father. You see, it was windy. And the kite was too strong for us.
Constable:
In a manner of speaking, sir, it was the kite that ran away, not the children.
Mr. Banks:
Thank you, Constable. I think I can manage this.
Jane:
Actually it wasn't a very good kite. We made it ourselves. Perhaps if you helped us to make
one--
Constable:
Ah, that's the ticket, sir. Kites are skittish things. Why, only last week with me own youngsters--
Mr. Banks:
I'm very grateful to you, Constable, for returning the children. And I'm sure that if you go to the
kitchen, Cook'll find you a plate of something.
Constable:
Thank you, sir. I shall now return to my duties.
Jane:
Thank you, Constable.
Constable:
Good night, miss. Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir. Cook'll find me something. I never--
Mrs. Banks:
I'm awfully sorry about this, George. I'll expect you'll want to discuss it.
Mr. Banks:
I would indeed! Ellen, take Jane and Michael upstairs straightaway.
Ellen:
Yes, sir. I knew it. When all's said and done, who bears the brunt of everything around here?
Me, that's who! They don't want an honest, hard-workin' girl around here. They need a ruddy
zookeeper.
Mrs. Banks:
I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nanna, I thought she would be firm with the children. She
looked so solemn and cross.
Mr. Banks:
Winifred, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
Mrs. Banks:
I'll try to do better next time.
Mr. Banks:
Next time? My dear, you've engaged six nannies in the last four months! And they've all been
unqualified disasters.
Mrs. Banks:
I quite agree.
Mr. Banks:
Choosing a nanny for the children is an important and delicate task. It requires insight, balanced
judgment, and an ability to read character. Under the circumstances, I think it might be apropos
to take it upon myself to, uh, select the next person.
Mrs. Banks:
Oh, would you, George?
Mr. Banks:
Obviously the way to find a proper nanny, is to go about it in a proper fashion. I shall put an
advertisement in The Times. Take this down please.
Mrs. Banks:
Yes, of course, dear.
Mr. Banks:
Wanted. Uh, no. Uh, required. Nanny: firm, respectable, no nonsense.
A British nanny must be a general
The future empire lies within her hands
And so the person that we need
To mold the breed
Is a nanny who can give commands
You getting this, Winifred?
Mrs. Banks:
Oh, yes, dear. Every word.
A British bank is run with precision
A British home requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules must be the tools
Without them, disorder, catastrophe, anarchy
In short you have a ghastly mess
Mrs. Banks:
Splendid, George! Inspirational. The Times will be so pleased.
Jane:
Father?
Mr. Banks:
Yes?
Jane:
We've discussed everything, and we're very sorry about what we did today.
Mr. Banks:
I should certainly think so.
Jane:
It was wrong to run away from Katie Nanna.
Mr. Banks:
It was indeed.
Jane:
And we do so want to get on with the new nanny.
Mr. Banks:
Very sensible. I shall be glad to have your help in the matter.
Jane:
We thought you would. That's why we wrote this advertisement.
Mr. Banks:
Advertisement for what?
Jane:
For the new nanny.
Mr. Banks:
You wrote an advert--
Mrs. Banks:
George, I think we should listen.
Jane:
You said you wanted our help.
Mr. Banks:
But, I-- oh, very well.
Jane:
"Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children."
Mr. Banks:
"Adorable." well, that's debatable, I must say.
Jane:
If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Mr. Banks:
Jane, I don't--
Jane:
Rosy cheeks, no warts
Michael:
That's the part I put in.
Jane:
Play games, all sorts
You must be kind you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Mr. Banks:
Well, of all the ridic-
Mrs. Banks:
George, please!
Jane:
Take us on outings give us treats
Sing songs bring sweets
Never be cross or cruel never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water
Michael:
I put that in, too.
Jane:
If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never you give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see
Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea
Hurry, nanny
Many thanks
Sincerely
Jane & Michael:
Jane and Michael Banks
Mr. Banks:
Thank you. Most interesting. And now I think we've had quite enough of this nonsense. Please
return to the nursery.
Mrs. Banks:
They were only trying to help. They're just children.
Mr. Banks:
I'm well aware they're just children, Winifred. I only congratulate myself that I decided to step in
and take a hand. "Play games, sing songs, give treats." Ridiculous. There's no question in my
mind whatsoever. Now is the time for action.
Give me The Times, please. No, I do not know the number.
Mrs. Banks:
Oh, George, you're always so forceful.
Mrs. Banks:
The Times? George Banks here. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. I wish to place an advertisement in your
column.
Admiral Boom:
Time gun ready?
Mr. Binnacle:
Ready and charged, sir.
Admiral Boom:
I'll take the report, Mr. Binnacle.
Mr. Binnacle:
The wind has changed, Sir. Seems to be comin' in from a new quarter.
Admiral Boom:
So it is.
Mr. Binnacle:
Sir?
Admiral Boom:
What is it?
Mr. Binnacle:
Bit of somethin' or other taking place off the port bow.
Admiral Boom:
Ghastly looking crew, I must say!
Ellen:
Coo! There's a fair queue of nannies outside, sir. Shall I show 'em in?
Mr. Banks:
Ellen, I said 8:00, and 8:00 it shall jolly well be. You see? Twelve seconds to go. Ten, nine,
eight---
Mrs. Banks:
Posts! Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!
Mr. Banks:
Ellen, it is now 8:00.
Ellen:
Yes, sir.
Mr. Banks:
But I have told you time and time again, Ellen, I dislike being hurried into things.
Jane:
I don't understand. They're not what we advertised for at all.
Michael, look!
Michael:
Perhaps it's a witch.
Jane:
Of course not. Witches have brooms.
It's her. It's the person. She's answered our advertisement.
Michael:
Rosy cheeks and everything.
Mr. Banks:
Ellen, you may now show them in, one at a time.
Ellen:
Yes, sir. You may come in one at a time.
Mary Poppins:
Thank you.
Ellen:
Oh.
Mary Poppins:
You are the father of Jane and Michael Banks, are you not? I said, you are the father of Jane
and Michael Banks.
Mr. Banks:
Well, well ye-- yes, of course, I mean. Uh-- you brought your references, I presume. May I see
them?
Mary Poppins:
Oh, I make it a point never to give references. A very old-fashioned idea to my mind.
Mr. Banks:
Is that so? We'll have to see about that then, won't we?
Mary Poppins:
Now then, the qualifications. "Item one: a cheery disposition." I am never cross. "Item two: rosy
cheeks." Obviously. "Item three: play games, all sorts." Well, I'm sure the children will find my
games extremely diverting.
Mr. Banks:
May I? Eh, this paper? Where did you get it from? I thought I tore it up.
Mary Poppins:
Excuse me. "Item four: you must be kind." I am kind, but extremely firm. Have you lost
something?
Mr. Banks:
Ah! Yeah. That paper, you see. I thought that I--
Mary Poppins:
You are George Banks, are you not?
Mr. Banks:
What?
Mary Poppins:
And you did advertise for a nanny, did you not?
Mr. Banks:
George Banks.
Mary Poppins:
Very well then.
Mr. Banks:
I tore it up, turned it over. Tore it up again and threw it in there. Yes.
Mary Poppins:
I beg your pardon. Are you ill?
Mr. Banks:
I hope not.
Mary Poppins:
Now, about my wages. The reference here is very obscure.
Mr. Banks:
Very obscure.
Mary Poppins:
We must be very clear on that point, mustn't we?
Mr. Banks:
Yes, we must indeed.
Mary Poppins:
I shall require every second Tuesday off.
Mr. Banks:
Every Tuesday.
Mary Poppins:
On second thoughts, I believe a trial period would be wise. Hmm. I'll give you one week. I'll know
by then. I'll see the children now. Thank you.
Close your mouth please, Michael. We are not a codfish. Well, don't stand there staring. Best
foot forward. Spit spot!
Mrs. Banks:
George? Aah! George, what on earth are you doing? I thought you were interviewing nannies.
Mr. Banks:
I was! I was!
Mrs. Banks:
You mean you've selected one already?
Mr. Banks:
Yes, it's done. It's, it's all done.
Mrs. Banks:
Well, where is she?
Mr. Banks:
What? Well, eh, she's in the nursery of course, I mean. I put her to work straightaway, I mean.
Mrs. Banks:
How clever of you! I would have muddled the whole thing. Tell me, is she everything that we'd
hoped she be?
Mr. Banks:
Well, I - it all happened rather quickly. I mean, I-- I, uh--
Mrs. Banks:
Will she be firm? Will she give commands? Will she mold our young breed?
Mr. Banks:
You know, Winifred, I think she will. I think she will.
Mrs. Banks:
In that case, perhaps you'd better tell Ellen to dismiss the others.
Mr. Banks:
The others? Oh, yes. Ellen?
Ellen:
Y-yes, sir?
Mr. Banks:
Tell the other applicants they may go. The position has been filled.
Ellen:
The others, sir?
Mr. Banks:
Yes, the others. How many n-nannies does she think we need in this house?
Ellen:
The position has been filled.
Jane:
I'm afraid the nursery isn't very tidy.
Mary Poppins:
It is rather like a bear pit, isn't it?
Michael:
That's a funny sort of bag.
Mary Poppins:
Carpet.
Michael:
You mean to carry carpets in?
Mary Poppins:
No. Made of.
Jane:
This is your room, and there's a lovely view of the park.
Mary Poppins:
Hmm. Well, it's not exactly Buckingham Palace. Still, it's clean. Yes, I think it will be quite
suitable. Just needs a touch here and there. Well, first things first. I always say, the place to
hang a hat is on a hat stand. Ah! This will never do! I much prefer seeing all of my face at the
same time.
Michael:
There-- but there was nothing in it.
Mary Poppins:
Never judge things by their appearance. Even carpetbags. I'm sure I never do. A thing of beauty
is a joy forever. Mmm, a little more light, perhaps.
Michael:
We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.
Jane:
She's wonderful.
Mary Poppins:
Much better! Now, let me see. That's funny. I always carry it with me. It must be here
somewhere.
Michael:
What?
Mary Poppins:
My tape measure.
Michael:
What do you want it for?
Mary Poppins:
I want to see how you two measure up. Well, that's the funniest thing I ever saw. I know it's
down here somewhere. Ah, ha-ha, ha-ha! Here it is. Good. Come along, then. Quickly. Head up,
Michael. Don't slouch. Just as I thought. Extremely stubborn and suspicious.
Michael:
I am not!
Mary Poppins:
See for yourself.
Michael:
"Extremely stubborn and sus--"
Mary Poppins:
Suspicious.
Now you, Jane. Mmm. "Rather inclined to giggle. Doesn't put things away."
Michael:
How 'bout you?
Mary Poppins:
Very well. Hold this for me. As I expected. "Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way."
Jane:
Mary Poppins! Is that your name? It's lovely.
Mary Poppins:
Thank you. I've always liked it. Now, shall we get on with it?
Jane:
Get on with what?
Mary Poppins:
In your advertisement, did you not specifically request to play games?
Jane:
Oh, yes!
Mary Poppins:
Very well, then. Our first game is called "well begun is half done."
Michael:
I don't like the sound of that.
Mary Poppins:
Otherwise entitled, "let's tidy up the nursery."
Michael:
I told you she was tricky.
Mary Poppins:
Shall we begin?
Jane:
It is a game, isn't it, Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins:
Well, it depends on your point of view. You see,
In every job that must be done,
There is an element of fun.
You find the fun, and snap!
The job's a game.
And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark, a spree it's very clear to see
That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
A robin feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While gathering his bits of twine and twig
Though quite intent in his pursuit,
He has a merry tune to toot
He knows a song will move the job along
For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
The honeybees that fetch the nectar from the flowers to the comb
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro
Because they take a little nip from every flower that they sip
And hence
Reflection:
And hence
Mary Poppins:
They find
Reflection:
They find
Mary Poppins & Reflection:
Their task is not a grind
Mary Poppins:
Cheeky.
Don't be all day about it, please.
Michael:
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
Mary Poppins:
Well, that was very--
Thank you now-- when you've quite finished!
Thank you. That will be quite sufficient. Hats and coats, please. It's time for our outing in the
park.
Michael:
I don't want an outing. I want to tidy up the nursery again.
Mary Poppins:
Enough is as good as a feast. Come along, please. Let me look at you. Well, you're not as well
turned out as I'd like. Still, there's time. There's time. Spit spot! And off we go.
Jane & Michael:
For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine
Go down in the most delightful way
Bert:
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
I does what I likes and I likes what I do
Hello, art lovers.
Today I'm a screever and as you can see
A screever's an artist of highest degree
And it's all me own work
From me own memory
Well, not Royal Academy, I suppose. Still they're better than a finger in your eye, ain't they?
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
I draws what I likes and I likes what I drew
No remuneration do I ask of you
But me cap would be glad of a copper or two
Me cap would be glad of a copper or two
Wait! Don't move. Don't move a muscle. Stay right where you are. I'd know that silhouette
anywhere! Mary Poppins!
Mary Poppins:
It's nice to see you again, Bert. I expect you know Jane and Michael.
Bert:
Well, I've seen 'em here and about. Chasin' a kite last time, weren't it?
Jane:
Mary Poppins is taking us to the park.
Bert:
To the park? Not if I know Mary Poppins. Other nannies take children to the park. When you're
with Mary Poppins, suddenly you're in places you've never dreamed of. And quick as you can
say "Bob's your uncle," the most unusual things begin to happen.
Mary Poppins:
I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Bert:
Well mind, it's not my place to say, but what she's probably got in mind, is a jolly holiday
somewheres or other. Something along these lines, I shouldn't be surprised. "Punting on the
Thames." That's always good if you like an outing. Here we go.
The circus. How about a lovely circus? Lions and tigers. World-famous artistes performing
death-defyin' feats, of dexterity and skill before your very eyes. Ta-da! Ta-da!
Jane:
Oh, that's lovely. If you please, I'd much rather go there.
Bert:
Beautiful, ain't it? A typical English countryside, as done by a true and lovin' hand. Though you
can't see it, there's a little country fair down that road and uh, over the hill.
Michael:
I don't see any road.
Bert:
What? No road? Just wants a bit of somethin' here, and a bit of somethin' there. There. A
country road suitable for travel and high adventure.
Jane:
Please may we go, Mary Poppins? Please? Such a lovely place. Don't you think it's lovely, Mary
Poppins?
Bert:
Now's the time, Mary Poppins. No one's lookin'.
Jane & Michael:
Please, Mary Poppins. Please! Please, Mary Poppins. Please!
Mary Poppins:
I have no intention of making a spectacle of myself, thank you.
Bert:
All right, I'll do it myself.
Mary Poppins:
Do what?
Bert:
Bit of magic.
Michael:
A bit of magic?
Bert:
It's easy. Let's see. You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes and jump.
Jane:
Is something 'sposed to happen?
Mary Poppins:
Bert, what utter nonsense! Ohh! Why do you always complicate things that are really quite
simple? Give my your hand, please, Michael. Don't slouch. One, two.
Bert:
Mary Poppins, you look beautiful.
Mary Poppins:
Do you really think so?
Bert:
Cross my heart you do. Like the day I met ya.
Mary Poppins:
You look fine, too, Bert.
Michael:
I thought you said there was a fair.
Bert:
So I did. Down the road behind the hill, remember?
Jane:
Come on! I hear the merry-go-round.
Bert:
Tell 'em Bert sent ya.
Mary Poppins:
Don't fall and smudge the drawing.
Bert:
Ain't it a glorious day
Right as a mornin' in May
I feel like I could fly
Mary Poppins:
Now, Bert. None of your larking about.
Bert:
Have you ever seen
The grass so green
Or a bluer sky
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Mary
Mary makes your heart so light
Mary Poppins:
You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Bert:
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright
Mary Poppins:
Oh, honestly!
Bert:
Oh, happiness is bloomin' all around her
The daffodils are smilin' at the dove
When Mary holds your hand you feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
Mary Poppins:
You are lightheaded.
Bert:
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Animals:
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with Mary
Mary makes your heart so light
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright
Oh, happiness is bloomin' all around her
The daffodils are smiling at the dove oink, oink.
When Mary holds your hand
You feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Mary Poppins:
Thank you.
Turtles:
Our pleasure, Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins:
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
Gentlemen like you are few
Bert:
A vanishing breed, that's me.
Mary Poppins:
Though you're just a diamond in the rough, Bert
Underneath your blood is blue
Bert:
Common knowledge.
Mary Poppins:
You'd never think of pressing your advantage
Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed
Bert:
True.
Mary Poppins:
A lady needn't fear
When you are near
Your sweet gentility is crystal clear
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
A jolly, jolly holiday with you
Bert:
Waiter! Waiter!
Mary Poppins:
Now then, what'd be nice?
We'll start with raspberry ice
and then some cakes and tea
Waiter
Order what you will
There'll be no bill
It's complimentary
Mary Poppins:
You're very kind.
Waiter:
Anything for you, Mary Poppins. You're our favorite person.
Bert:
Right you are.
It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winnin'
And Prudence and Gwendolyn set your hearts spinnin'
Phoebe's delightful
Maude is disarming
Waiters:
Janice Felicia Lydia
Bert:
.. charming
Cynthia's dashing,
Vivian's sweet,
Stephanie's smashing
Priscilla a treat
Waiters:
Veronica Millicent Agnes and Jane
Bert:
convivial company time and again
Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts
I'll agree they're three jolly good sports
But cream of the crop
Tip of the top
Bert & Waiters:
Is Mary Poppins
And there we stop
When Mary holds your hand
You feel so grand
Your heart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
No wonder that it's Mary that we love
Michael:
Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! Ya-hoo! -ya-hoo!
Jane:
Our own private merry-go-round.
Bert
Very nice. Very nice, indeed, if you don't wanna go nowhere.
Mary Poppins:
Who says we're not going anywhere? Oh, guard!
Guard:
Righto, Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins:
Thank you.
Guard:
They're off! It's Mary Poppins leadin' by two lengths. Jane is second by a length. Michael third.
Michael:
My horse is the fastest.
Bert:
Do you hear that, mate? Do you wanna put up with that? That's the ticket! Come on, my lad. Is
that the best you can do?
Michael:
Hurry up, boy. Hurry up!
Mary Poppins:
Not so fast, please. Michael! Now really, Bert. You're as bad as the children.
Bert:
Sorry. Whoa, boy! Whoa! Whoa. Easy, boy. Whoa. Whoa. Just a bit of high spirits, Mary
Poppins.
Mary Poppins:
Please control yourself. We are not on a racecourse.
Follow me, please.
Good morning.
Hunter:
Oh, yes, quite. Wha-- I say! Have you ever?
Horse:
Never!
Hunter:
View halloo!
Horse:
Oh, yes, definitely. A view halloo.
Fox:
View halloo?
Faith and begorra! 'Tis them redcoats again!
Dogs:
View halloo! View halloo! View halloo!
Fox:
Oh, musha, musha.
Bert:
Poor lit'l bloke. Let's give him a hand.
Fox:
Saints preserve us! Yikes!
Tally ho!
Bert:
Da-doo, da-doo! Up you go. Now hang on.
Fox:
Would you look at that now? 'Tis an elegant merry-go-round horse. Come on and fight, you dirty
omadhauns. I can lick the lot of ya's. Faster, me beauty! Faster!
Mary Poppins:
Oh, riders, would you be so kind as to let me pass?
Horse Rider:
Certainly, ma'am.
Mary Poppins:
Thank you.
Horse Rider:
Not at all, ma'am.
Spectator 1:
Excellent time, gentlemen.
Spectator 2:
Oh, yes, quite. - perfect day for it, of course.
Mary Poppins:
Oh. Oh, how nice.
Crowd:
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
Photographer:
Hold still, now. Watch for the dickie bird.
Reporter 1:
Uh, how does it feel, Mary Poppins, winning the race?
Mary Poppins:
Oh, well I--
Reporter 2:
- gaining fame and fortune.
Mary Poppins:
Uh, yes.
Reporter 3:
Having your picture taken for the newspaper.
Mary Poppins:
Uh, oh, actually, I'm delighted.
Reporter 4:
Besides having your extreme good looks, if I may say so.
Mary Poppins:
Oh, well, I wouldn't go--
Reporter 3:
There probably aren't words to describe your emotions.
Mary Poppins:
Now, now, now, now, gentlemen, please. On the contrary, there's a very good word. Am I right,
Bert?
Bert:
Tell 'em what it is.
Mary Poppins:
Right! It's ...
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Group:
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Bert:
Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad
Me father gave me nose a tweak and told me I was bad
But then one day I learned a word that saved me achin' nose
Bert & Mary Poppins:
The biggest word you ever heard and this is how it goes
Oh, supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Group:
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Mary Poppins:
He's traveled all around the world and everywhere he went
He'd use his word and all would say, "there goes a clever gent"
Bert:
When dukes and maharajahs pass the time of day with me
I'd say me special word and then they'd ask me out to tea
Bert & Mary Poppins:
Ooh, supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Mary Poppins:
You know, you can say it backwards,
Which is, Dociousaliexpiistic- fragilcalirupus.
But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
Bert:
Indubitably.
Mary Poppins:
So when the cat has got your tongue there's no need for dismay
Bert:
Hear, hear!
Mary Poppins:
Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say
But better use it carefully or it could change your life
Drummer:
For example.
Mary Poppins:
Yes?
Drummer:
One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife.
Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.
Group:
She's supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious
Mary Poppins:
Jane! Michael! Stay close now. Oh, Bert, all your fine drawings.
Bert:
Well, there's more where they came from. Meantime, I'm changing businesses. This here is
lovely hot chestnut weather.
Mary Poppins:
Come along, children. Bye, Bert.
Bert:
Bye-bye.
Jane:
Bye, Bert.
Bert:
Bye. Bye, Jane and Michael.
Michael:
Bye, Bert.
Bert:
Chim chiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroo
La dum da da dum da da da da dum
Michael:
No, no, I won't take your nasty medicine!
Jane:
Do we have to, Mary Poppins?
Mary Poppins:
People who get their feet wet, must learn to take their medicine.
Michael:
I don't want it. I'm not gonna--
Jane:
Oh! Lime cordial! Delicious!
Michael:
Strawberry! Mmm!
Mary Poppins:
R-r-rum punch. Quite satisfactory.
Jane:
Mary Poppins, you won't ever leave us, will you?
Mary Poppins:
Do you have a handkerchief under your pillow? Mm-hmm.
Michael:
Will you stay if we promise to be good?
Mary Poppins:
Och! That's a piecrust promise. Easily made, easily broken.
Jane:
Whatever would we do without you?
Mary Poppins:
I shall stay until the wind changes.
Michael:
But, Mary Poppins, how long will that be?
Mary Poppins:
Silence, please. It's time to go to sleep.
Jane:
Oh, we couldn't possibly go to sleep! So many lovely things have happened today.
Mary Poppins:
Did they?
Jane:
Yes! When we jumped into Bert's chalk picture.
Michael:
And we rode the merry-go-round, and all the horses jumped off, and--
Jane:
And we all went riding in the countryside!
Jane & Michael:
Tally ho! Tchunga! Tchunga! Yikes!
Mary Poppins:
Really?
Jane:
Mary Poppins, don't you remember? You won the horse race!
Mary Poppins:
A respectable person like me in a horse race? How dare you suggest such a thing.
Michael:
But I saw you do it!
Mary Poppins:
Now, not another word or I shall have to summon the policeman. Is that clear?
Michael:
It did happen! I saw it!
Mary Poppins:
Go to sleep.
Michael:
No, I don't want to go to sleep.
Jane:
Mary Poppins, we're much too excited!
Mary Poppins:
Very well, suit yourselves.
Stay awake don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake don't close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake don't nod and dream
Stay awake don't nod and dream
Admiral Boom:
Glorious day, Mr. Binnacle. Glorious! No one sleeps this morning. Put in a double charge of
powder.
Mr. Binnacle:
A double charge? Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom:
Shake things up a bit, what?
Mrs. Banks:
Lovely, lovely morning, Ellen.
Ellen:
Indeed it is, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks:
Have you put the spoiled eggs in my carryall?
Ellen:
Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Banks:
After our meeting at the Albert Hall, we're all going to Downing street, to throw things at the
prime minister. Oh, how distinguished you look this morning, George.
Mr. Banks:
What's all that fearful caterwauling in the kitchen?
Mrs. Banks:
It's cook singing.
Mr. Banks:
Cook singing? What's wrong with her?
Mrs. Banks:
She's happy as a cricket. As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most
extraordinary thing seems to have come over the household.
Mr. Banks:
Is that so?
Mrs. Banks:
Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.
Mr. Banks:
Really? Well, that is extraordinary.
Mrs. Banks:
And another thing. She and Cook usually fight like cats and dogs, but today--
Mrs. Brill:
Let me hold the door for you, Ellen dear.
Ellen:
Thanks ever so, ducks.
Mr. Banks:
Ellen, stop making that offensive noise! And shut the window! That bird's giving me a headache.
Ellen:
Yes, sir. Quiet! You're giving the master a headache.
Mrs. Banks:
I'm so sorry you're not feeling well this morning, George.
Mr. Banks:
Who said I'm not feeling well? I'm fit as a fiddle. I just don't understand why everyone's so
confoundedly cheerful!
Jane & Michael:
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Mrs. Banks:
How lovely. Thank you, my darling.
Jane & Michael:
Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious
Jane, Michael, Ellen & Mrs. Brill:
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Mr. Banks:
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Jane:
Good morning, Father.
Mr. Banks:
Good morning.
Jane:
Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful words.
Michael:
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Mr. Banks:
What on earth are you talking about? Supercali-- super-- or whatever the infernal thing is.
Jane:
It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
Mr. Banks:
Yes, well, I always know what to say. Go on, hurry along, please.
Jane:
Yes, father.
Jane & Michael:
Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious
Mr. Banks:
Winifred, will you be good enough to explain this unseemly hullabaloo?
Mrs. Banks:
I don't think there's anything to explain, do you? It's obvious that you're out of sorts this morning.
The children just came in to make you feel better.
Mr. Banks:
I should like to make one thing quite clear, once and for all. I am not out of sorts. I am in a
perfectly equable mood. I don't require being made to feel better!
Mrs. Banks:
But you're always saying that you wanted a cheerful and pleasant household.
Mr. Banks:
Winifred, I should like to make a slight differentiation between the word cheerful and just plain
giddy irresponsibility.
Mrs. Banks:
Excuse me, dear. Posts, everyone, please!
Mr. Banks:
I have no objection to anyone being cheerful or pleasant. But I do expect a certain decorum. I
can tell you one thing, Winifred. I don't propose standing idly by and letting that woman, Mary
Poppins, undermine the discipline and-- there's something odd, I may say extremely odd about
the behavior of this household since that woman arrived. And I want you to know that I've
noticed it!
Mrs. Banks:
Yes, dear.
Mr. Banks:
One thing more.
Mrs. Banks:
Yes, dear?
Mr. Banks:
I suggest you have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs. Banks:
But, George, you don't play.
Mr. Banks:
Madam, that is entirely beside the point!
Mary Poppins:
Now, let me see. First of all, we must go to the piano tuners. And then we go to Mrs. Cory's sh--
Mrs. Cory's shop for some gingerbread.
Jane:
Ah, gingerbread!
Mary Poppins:
