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Mystery Men - Revised June 6,1997



THE MYSTERY MEN

By Neil Cuthbert

Based on the Dark Horse comic created by Bob Burden

Revised June 6, 1997



THEME AND CREDITS...

FADE IN:

EXT.  ERIE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE - DAY

CAMERA MOVES THROUGH a tangled jungle of razor wire, finally COMING 
INTO VIEW of a foreboding, fortress-like old institution, surrounded by 
towers and gun turrets.  Screaming and horrible laughter is heard from 
within...

CLOSE ON a sign that reads "Erie Hospital for the Criminally Insane" 
... This is where the worst killers and psychos go.

INT.  CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

THE CAMERA PANS THE EXPRESSIONLESS FACES of the REVIEW BOARD as 
CASANOVA FRANKENSTEIN sits across from them.  Dressed in an 
immaculately tailored prison smock (with "Casanova" exquisitely 
embroidered above the pocket), he sits contritely as DOCTOR EMMET 
BIERCE, the hospital's fatherly Chief of Psychiatry, presents his case.

					BIERCE
		No one can deny the horrendous nature of Mr. 
		Frankenstein's crimes, but in the twenty years 
		he has been with us, I have never seen a 
		patient turn his energies to more productive 
		use.

CASANOVA, the picture of remorse and repentance.

					BIERCE
		Just look at his accomplishments... three 
		volumes of poetry, two rock operas, a sculpture 
		garden, four romance novels... and who can 
		forget his touching portrayal of Billy Bigelow 
		in our all-psychotic production of 
		"Carousel"...

ON SEVERAL OF THE BOARD getting misty eyed at the memory of that 
brilliant performance...

					BIERCE
		Directed by our own Doctor Anabel Leek.

ON DOCTOR ANABEL LEEK, the hospital's icily beautiful, ultra cool, top 
shrink.

A moment later Casanova addresses them... His manner is charming, 
sincere, his voice soft, filled with emotion.  He is a master of 
seduction.

					CASANOVA
		Twenty years ago I was a lost soul.  
		Loveless...
		(with a son-like glance at Doctor Bierce)
		Fatherless...
		(chokes on the word)
		A... psycho!
		(breaks down sobbing)
		Oh!  How could I have done it? The murder... 
		the mayhem... all of those lovely young girls!
		(weeping, a brilliant performance)
		I'm sorry!  I'm SO SO SORRY!

Doctor Bierce wipes the tears from his eyes.  Reactions from the board, 
moved, as Casanova weeps convulsively.  Doctor Leek shows no reaction.

					CASANOVA
				(pulls himself together)
		But my deeds have been done, and my youth is 
		gone, and we can only go forward in this cruel 
		world... and if I have learned anything from my 
		wretched life it is that... When you walk 
		through a storm, keep your head held high...
					(singing)
		And don't be afraid of the dark...

Tears plop dawn the cheeks of the review board as the FULLY 
ORCHESTRATED STRAINS OF "WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH A STORM" SWELL...

SERIES OF SHOTS - AS THE MUSIC CONTINUES

A hand stamps Casanova's file "CURED"... Casanova shakes hands and 
embraces the tearful members of the review board, finishing with a 
paternal hug from Doctor Bierce.

In his cell a guard delivers Casanova his favorite old disco suit 
(that's been waiting far him for twenty years).

Casanova, dressed in the suit, walks down the central aisle of the 
lock-up... A moment later he steps out of the massive gates of the 
hospital, and takes his first deep breath of freedom... while in an 
office window high above Bierce and the members of the review board 
stand watching, very proud...

But suddenly THE MUSIC CHANGES TO SEVENTIES DISCO as a black Ferrari 
drives up, and Doctor Leek, now dressed very sexily, gets out... As the 
review board watches in stunned silence, Casanova and Anabel perform a 
nifty little disco twirl, finishing with a very lewd kiss...

Bierce, watching, realizes he's been duped... as Casanova, grinning up 
at him, puts a long gold chain (his favorite weapon) around his neck... 
Bierce, horrified, picks up the telephone... as Casanova and Anabel get 
in the car.

INT.   THE CAR - A MOMENT LATER

Casanova and Anabel drive off.  The massive old hospital is seen 
through the rear window behind them, as Casanova calmly looks at his 
watch...

CLOSE ON HIS WATCH -

as the second hand just swings toward the twelve.  It is exactly twelve 
noon...

BACK ON CASANOVA -

					CASANOVA
				(almost wistfully)
		Boom.

And the hospital EXPLODES in a HUGE FIREBALL that completely consumes 
it.

					CASANOVA
		Those gas leaks can be murder.

EXT.  THE ROAD - DAY

The Ferrari drives past and the CAMERA HOLDS ON a sign that reads 
"We1come to Champion City, home of Captain Amazing". The city itself, a 
crumbling rust belt metropolis (ala Detroit) can be seen stretched out 
along the shore of Lake Champion off in the distance...

INSIDE THE CAR - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

					CASANOVA
		I'm home.

BACK ON THE ROAD  - CONTINUOUS

The Ferrari drives under a much larger billboard that looms over the 
road, showing a picture of Captain Amazing himself, a square jawed 
classic superhero, staring fiercely into the camera.  The caption reads 
"Crime.  Don't even think about it."

EXT.  TRAIN YARDS OF CHAMPION CITY - NIGHT

Letters read "Six months later"...

as the CAMERA EXPLORES the desolate muddy terrain of the train yards, 
CRUISING past piles of tires and abandoned train cars...

CAMERA PICKS UP a battered van as it drives through the yard, then 
pulls up beside an old boxcar.  The back of the van is thrown open, a 
ramp is thrown down, and THE RED EYES, a gang of vicious small time 
thieves (all of whom wear sunglasses with red lenses) start unloading 
their night's haul... RED EYE 1 drives a golf cart, with clubs, down 
the ramp.

					RED EYE 1
		Golf anyone?

Several more Red Eyes emerge carrying a sawn off bike rack with bikes 
still attached, a barber pole, a Virgin Mary lawn statue, and a top of 
the line baby stroller... while their leader, BIG RED, stands in the 
door to the boxcar, watching approvingly.

					RED EYE 2
		Not a bad night's work.

					BIG RED
		Who said crime don't pay?

The Red Eyes laugh... as Red Eye 3 takes the cover off the baby 
stroller and sees... that there's a BABY still in it.

					RED EYE 3
		Hey, Boss, we got a stowaway.

The crooks gather around the baby, a jolly little kid who just laughs 
at them.

					RED EYE 4
				(about to slug him)
		Who you laughin' at, punk?

					RED EYE 2
		He's just a tyke.  Lighten up.

					RED EYE 5
		He's kinda cute.

					RED EYE 3
		If you like drool.

					RED EYE 2
		Hey, why don't we sell him back to his parents?  
		For a million bucks!

The others think that's a great idea, but Big Red doesn't.

					BIG RED
		And what if he rats on us?

The others hadn't thought of that.

					RED EYE 3
		So what should we do with him?

					BIG RED
		Stick a brick in his Pampers and dump him in 
		the lake.

The others think that's a good idea and look around for a brick.

					RED EYE 3
		Come on, kid, you're goin' for a swim.

But suddenly there is another presence... A man in a blue turban and 
cape with the initials "BR" on his chest has appeared... He is THE BLUE 
RAJA.

					RAJA
		Not so fast, gentlemen--and I use the term 
		loosely... Unhand that youngster...

Another man steps into the light.  He wears a construction helmet and 
mask.  There is an "S" on his chest, and he carries an old shovel.  He 
is THE SHOVELER.

					SHOVELER
		Or you're mulch.

He brandishes his shovel for effect.  The Red Eyes look at these two, 
highly amused.

					BIG RED
		What are you guys supposed to be... 
		superheroes?

A third man steps out.  His costume is less dramatic than the others.  
He wears only an old leather jacket and a faded, torn shirt with flames 
on it, but the fierce look on his face and the atrociousness of his 
haircut make it very clear that he is the craziest and most dangerous 
of the three.  He is MISTER FURIOUS.

					FURIOUS
		We ARE superheroes!

					BIG RED
		Really?  Did you mother make those costumes?

The crooks howl with laughter.

					BIG RED
		This is our territory.  Beat it.

					FURIOUS
		Over YOUR dead body.

Big Red turns to the others and shakes with pretended fear.

					BIG RED
		0ooooo, he's scary.

The Red Eyes laugh, but suddenly, a small silver projectile whizzes 
through the air and implants itself in Big Red's backside.  He howls 
with pain, pulls it out and examines it... It's a silver dessert fork.

					BIG RED
		A fork!

The Raja holds up his hands, each of which hold a spread of silver 
forks.

					RAJA
		And there's plenty more where that came from.

Big Red gives a shrill whistle, and a dozen more Red Eyes step out of 
an old caboose... including MIKEY, a four hundred pound behemoth.  He 
is eating a container of Ben and Jerry's like it was an ice cream cone, 
taking huge bites out of it, container and all.

RAJA AND SHOVELER, reacting... Gulp.  This was more than they'd 
bargained for.  But Furious just growls; he's game.

					BIG RED
		GET 'EM!

The Red Eyes attack... Mister Furious goes into a furious face; his 
hair stands out straight and he rushes right into the oncoming 
crooks...

A Red Eye takes a swing at the Shoveler--but he simply puts up his 
shovel and lets the crook slug the shovel's pan.  The crook yelps with 
pain and shakes his battered hand... as the Raja fends off crooks, 
poking them with salad forks... and the baby sits in his stroller, 
watching and laughing, really enjoying the show.  (There's no real 
martial artistry or teamwork here; this is a classic back alley 
brouhaha.)

But there's too many of then... The Raja goes down under swinging 
fists... and so does the Shoveler...

Furious holds his own, taking out crooks with powerful lefts and 
rights--until Mikey runs him down like a truck, falling right on top of 
him and crushing him under his massive weight.

					RED EYES
		Crush him, Mikey!... Mash him!... Mush him!

					FURIOUS
			(barely audible under all that meat)
		Is that all you got?

					RED EYES
		He wants more!... Squish him!... Finish him 
		off!

					FURIOUS
					(faintly)
		Your mother!

Mikey, sweating, bears down... but suddenly, a calm, very authoritative 
voice is heard.

					VOICE (0.S.)
		Is there a problem?

Everything suddenly stops, as the Red Eyes look up and see... CAPTAIN 
AMAZING standing on tap of the boxcar, hands on hips, framed in the 
light at the moon, his biceps bulging, his state of the art physique 
sculpted body armor gleaming in the moonlight, his cape wafting 
heroically in the wind.  He is superhero perfection incarnate.

ON THE RED EYES as their viciousness turns instantly to panic...

					RED EYES
		IT'S CAPTAIN AMAZING!

Big Red and a couple others try to run for it, but Amazing leaps ca-
like off the boxcar and is on them in a flash.  As the baby claps his 
hands in delight, and our three heroes watch in beat-up awe, Amazing 
deftly takes out the crooks with expert punches and effortlessly 
delivered elbows and kicks. He is the consumate superhero, and he 
doesn't even break a sweat.

The remaining Red Eyes drop to their knees and throw up their hands in 
surrender.

					RED EYES
		We give!... We're sorry!... We had terrible 
		childhoods!  (Etc.)

Police cars and a TV truck come screeching into the train yard... and 
the scene is suddenly flooded vith light and swarming with cops and 
reporters...

Our three heroes try to approach Captain Amazing (who still looks fresh 
as a daisy).

					RAJA
		Nice work, Captain.

But Amazing just walks past them, ignoring them completely, as if they 
didn't even exist.  He goes to greet DAWN WONG (Champion City's answer 
to Connie Chung).

					AMAZING
			(turning on the old superhero charm)
		Hi. Dawn.

					DAWN
			(putty in his hands, pudding in his bowl)
		Looks like you've done it again, Captain.

					AMAZING
		It's what I do.

Our heroes just watch, feeling ignored, humiliated.  Furious growls.  
Suddenly, TWO COPS are accosting them.

					COP 1
		Okay, show's over. Move it. On your way.

					RAJA
		Wait a minute, Officers. You don't understand--
		we're superheroes, and we just busted up this 
		gang.

					COP 1
		Really?  Let me guess-you're Towel Head and 
		he's...
				(meaning the Shoveler)
		Captain Pooper Scooper!

The cops crack up.  Furious growls at them.  The cops yank out their 
nightsticks.

					COP 1
		Hey!  Move it!

					COP 2
		Get a life!

					COP 1
		And leave crime fighting to the real thing!

Shoveler and Raja pull Furious away before he gets into real trouble... 
The cops watch as our three heroes disappear into the night.

					COP 1
		Wannabes.

					COP 2
		Pathetic.

EXT.  THE LAKESIDE DINER - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

An inner city greasy spoon.

INT.  THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON A TV SCREEN

on which Captain Amazing, the laughing baby in his arms, is being 
interviewed by Dawn Wong.  He's playing the cutsy photo op for all its 
worth, gootchy-gooing the kid, etc.  Dawn is creaming.

Our three heroes sit at a booth in the back of the diner, watching the 
tube...

					RAJA
				(nursing a sore jaw)
		He doesn't miss a trick, does he?

					FURIOUS
		What a jerk--and like nobody knows who he really is!

					SHOVELER
		Oh don't start that again--

					FURIOUS
		LOOK!

Furious picks up the newspaper on which there is a photo of a good 
looking guy in a tux at a benefit... The headline reads "Lance Hunt 
Hosts Benefit."  He holds the picture up next to the television, so the 
faces of Lance Hunt and Captain Amazing are side by side.  It is 
obviously the same guy.

					FURIOUS
		He's Lance Hunt!  Just take off the glasses--
		and it's him!

					RAJA
		There's a vague similarity.

					FURIOUS
		A vague similarity?  IT'S THE SAME GUY!

					SHOVELER
				(downing some aspirin)
		0h, who gives a damn who he is? I can't take 
		this anymore.  Night after night we're on the 
		streets, busting our humps--and for what?

					RAJA
		We take the licks and he gets the chicks.

					SHOVELER
		How long do you have to chase a dream before 
		you realize it's not gonna happen?

					FURIOUS
		We need a break, that's all! Nobody'd ever 
		heard of him until he busted Casanova 
		Frankenstein!

					RAJA
		But look at him... and look at us.

					SHOVELER
		The camera loves him.

A depressed silence.  Furious turns his attention to the napkin 
dispenser.

					FURIOUS
				     (furious)
		Why do they always fill stuff these things so 
		full you can't pull 'em out without ripping 
		'em!
				   (rips one out)

					RAJA
		I lost another fork tonight.  She's getting 
		suspicious, I know it.

					FURIOUS
		So why don't you just tell her!

					RAJA
		I can't.

					FURIOUS
		Why not?

					RAJA
				     (upset)
		Because I can't!  Okay?  She wouldn't 
		understand!

					SHOVELER
		Leave him alone.  She's his mother, not yours.

					FURIOUS
		We had an off night, that's all.

					SHOVELER
		So when are we gonna have an on night?

A WAITRESS is standing at the table.

					WAITRESS
		Hi.

They look at her, taken aback.  She's very pretty.

					RAJA
		You're... new.

					WAITRESS
		It's my first night.  My name's Monica.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS, smitten by her, but almost afraid to look at her.  
Under all that rage, he's in fact shy.

					MONICA
		You guys going to a costume party?

					RAJA
		We're superheroes.

					MONICA
		Really?  Like Captain Amazing?

Furious growls.

					MONICA
		Are you famous?

					RAJA
		Not yet.

					MONICA
		So you're like... struggling superheroes?

					RAJA
		We prefer to think of ourselves as unsung... I 
		am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware...
				(does a very impressive
				little flipping thing with
				his place setting)

					MONICA
		Wow.

					RAJA
		And these are my associatiates, the Shoveler.
	
					SHOVELER
		Hi.

					RAJA
		And Mister Furious... His anger is his power.

					MONICA
				(intrigued by Furious)
		Really?

					RAJA
		Usually a superpower is a magical endowment or 
		a great skill.  In his case, it's entirely 
		emotional.

					MONICA
		So what can I get you?

					RAJA
		Burgers all around.
				(meaning himself)
		Medium.
				(meaning the Shoveler)
		Rare.
				(meaning Furious}
		Raw.

A moment later as Monica walks away, Furious can't help but
watch her.  The Raja replaces the diner's dinnerware with the good 
stuff from his coat.

					RAJA
		She likes you.

					SHOVELER
		Definitely.

					RAJA
		Ask her out.

					FURIOUS
		Nah.

					RAJA
		Roy, when was the last time you had an actual 
		date?

					FURIOUS
				(getting very pissed off)
		What does it matter?  Women just want to 
		control you--and talk about their feelings.  
		They want to know why you're angry all the 
		time--and what can they can do to help--so you 
		tell them there's nothing--nothing--just leave 
		me alone--but they bug you and they bug you and 
		they bug you--until you just can't stand it 
		anymore!--so you finally open up--you pop like 
		a blister--and it all comes spewing out--all 
		your emotions--your feelings--your fears--all 
		of it!
					(after a beat)
		And then they dump you.

					RAJA
		So you're chicken?

					FURIOUS
				     (fiercely)
		Who's chicken?
					(gets up)

Monica stands at the counter placing her order.  Furious approaches 
her, leans against the counter.  For a moment he just stands there, 
fuming, unable to think of anything to say. She isn't sure what to make 
of this.

					FURIOUS
		Doesn't it piss you off the way the when you 
		really want to talk to somebody you can't think 
		of anything to say!

					MONICA
		I guess... Are you always so angry?

					FURIOUS
		Only when I'm awake... You busy after work?

She shrugs.

					FURIOUS
		Want to go out and get drunk?

She's visibly turned off by that.

					FURIOUS
		Or talk?

					MONICA
		Not tonight.
			(picks up an order and walks away)

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE DINER - LATER

Furious, the Raja, and the Shoveler step out.

					RAJA
		Maybe you should try a more romantic approach.

					FURIOUS
			(gets on his old Harley)
		Like what?  Cutting off my own ear?

					RAJA
		Or flowers.

					FURIOUS
		See ya tomorrow.

Furious kicks his engine started and speeds off into the night as the 
Shoveler opens the door of his battered Ford Esquire station wagon, and 
the Raja gets into his ancient Datsun.

EXT.  RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT

The Shoveler pulls into the driveway of his very modest house. The 
front yard looks like a battle zone.  Bikes and kids' junk are 
everywhere.

LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER

as big a disaster area as the front yard. His kids, EDDIE JR. (15), 
LENORE (12), BUTCH (10), TRACY (7), and ROLAND (5) are all sprawled in 
front of the television. The Shoveler enters, and his kids don't even 
bother to look up from the tube.

					SHOVELER
		Hey, when are you guys gonna clean this place 
		up?

					TRACY
		When you're on TV.

					EDDIE JR.
		Right--like that will ever happen.

					LENORE
		Save any babies lately?

ON THE SHOVELER, silent, hurt.

					TRACY
		Faster than a speeding turtle--

					BUTCH
		More powerful than a deodorant--

					EDDIE JR.
		Able to eat twelve donuts in a single sitting--

					LENORE
		Look, snoring in his chair--

					EDDIE JR.
		Sitting on the john--

					ALL
		It's... Supergut!

The kids all laugh (in that derisive way that kids do so well) as the 
Shoveler dejectedly walks into the kitchen.

INT.  KITCHEN - A MOMENT LATER

The Shoveler enters, dejected.  His wife, Lucille, is doing the dishes.  
She looks up, sees him.

					LUCILLE
				  (feels for him)
		Rough night, Eddie?

He nods.

EXT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

The Raja's Datsun is parked in front of a neat as a pin little 
Victorian house.

INT.  THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The room is dark.  Someone is sneaking around.  A drawer is quietly 
opened, and we hear the gentle clink of silver. Suddenly, the light 
goes on and we see the Blue Raja, now dressed in a sport shirt and 
slacks, with his hand in the drawer.  His MOTHER, in her nightclothes, 
stands by the door where she has just switched on the light.

					MOTHER
		Jeffrey!

					RAJA
		Oh hi, Mom.

					MOTHER
		What are you doing in the silver drawer?

					RAJA
		Looking for... the TV Guide.

She just looks at him, very suspicious.

					MOTHER
		It's on the television.

					RAJA
		Of course.  I'm such a fool... Thanks, Mummy.  
		Go to bed.

He kisses her and goes into the next room.  CAMERA HOLDS ON MOM; she 
doesn't trust him.

EXT.  HILLTOP - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

A billboard overlooking the city.  Captain Amazing is posed wearing a 
pair of bright blue Nikes.  The caption reads. "It's a nice world.  
Sonebody's got to save it... The Nike Supershoe.  It's Amazing."

Furious sits on his Harley, taking long hauls from a pint bottle of 
cheap bourbon and gazing up at the sign.

					FURIOUS
		Amazing?  What's so amazing about him?  I'd be 
		amazing, too, if I'd inherited two hundred 
		million bucks... or two bucks... or two 
		cents...
			(hurls the empty bottle, smashing
				it against the sign)
		Who am I kidding?  Dreams don't come true.

A moment of despondency, and then he hears a strange sound overhead and 
looks up...

HIS POV -

as something suddenly flies across the star filled night sky above 
him...

It is Captain Amazing, wearing a high tech rocket pack on his back...


					FURIOUS
		Where's he going?
			(kicks his Harley started)

SERIES OF SHOTS - WITH MUSIC

as Furious, following Captain Amazing, rides roughshod down the steep 
hill, skidding onto a road and then speeding through a residential 
area...

He cuts onto some railroad tracks, hops his bike up on a rail, and 
rides smoothly along it, following Amazing... He turns off the tracks, 
rides roughly through some woods, then emerges from the trees and 
sees..

A foreboding looking old mansion... Captain Amazing lands on the 
highest part of its roof... Furious pulls up, gazes at the front gates 
of the mansion...

HIS POV -

Letters across the iron gates read... "Frankenstein".

EXT.  ON THE ROOF - CONTINUOUS

Captain Amazing abandons his jet pack and moves across the old slate 
roof like Spiderman, leaping nimbly from gable to gable and walking 
along a high ridge like a tight rope walker. Finally he approaches a 
skylight, looks down and sees...

A huge old library with an iron catwalk running around it. Casanova 
Frankenstein sits in a club chair by a roaring tire. Anabel perches on 
the arm of his chair.  In the other chair sits a once good looking, now 
paunchy guy, with a meticulously coiffed haircut.  He is TONY 
POMPADOUR, head of the infamous Disco Boys.

0N CAPTAIN AMAZING

					AMAZING
				(just as he suspected)
		Uh-huh.

He sees that the skylight is open, and quietly lets himself in...

INT.  THE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and Tony P savor glasses of brandy and puff on big cigars.

					CASANOVA
		I hope you enjoy these cigars.  I had to kill a 
		dozen Cubans to get them.

					TONY P
		Ummm.

					CASANOVA
		Have you considered my offer?

					TONY P
		You know, Mr. F, me and the boys always loved 
		workin' for you.  You had such style: the 
		clothes, the dancin', the elegant way you'd 
		snuff a babe.  You were the King...

Casanova accepts this graciously.

					TONY P
		But times have changed, and you been in that 
		bug house a long tine. I can see you still got 
		the style, but I dunno for sure you still got 
		the edge.

					CASANOVA
		I got it.

					TONY P
		What about Captain Amazing?

					AMAZING (O.S.)
		Good question.

Casanova and Tony P look up and see Captain Amazing, posed noncalantly 
on the iron catwalk, gazing down at them.  Tony P jumps out of his 
chair, scared.  But Casanova just smiles at his ancient rival, cool as 
a cucumber.

					CASANOVA
		I knew you'd cone.  I left that skylight open 
		for you.

					AMAZING
		I know you did.

					CASANOVA
		I knew you'd know.

					AMAZING
		I know you knew I'd know.

					CASANOVA
		But did you know I knew you'd know I'd know?

					AMAZING
		Of course.

Tony P makes a move for his pistol, but Captain Amazing instantly whips 
out his pistol, getting the drop on him.

					AMAZING
		I'd hate to waste a good bullet on a piece of 
		scum like you, Tony.

Tony freezes.

					AMAZING
		The jig is up, Casanova.  I've spent six months 
		watching you, and know exactly what you're up 
		to.

					CASANOVA
		Really?

					AMAZING
		I know that you're recruiting your old 
		henchmen...

Nervous reaction from Tony P.

					AMAZING
		I know who your girlfriend really is...

Icy reaction from Anabel.

					AMAZING
		And I know the terrible revenge that you plan 
		to inflict on this city.

					CASANOVA
		I guess you know just about everything, don't 
		you, Lance?

					AMAZING
		Um-hmm.

					CASANOVA
		Except for one little thing.

					AMAZING
				(supremely confident)
		And what's that?

					CASANOVA
		That I've hot wired the city's entire power 
		supply through that catwalk.

					AMAZING
		What--?

Casanova suddenly throws a secret breaker switch, and the ugly hum of a 
million volts instantly fills the room...

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS - ON FURIOUS

still watching... as all the lights in the house go out, except for a 
frightening orange glow in an upper room...

Off in the distance Furious sees... the lights of the entire city 
flicker and then black out... A moment later the mansion, and the 
city's lights return to normal... as Furious watches, not sure what to 
make of this.

EXT. STREET CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

Traffic is snarled.  Horns are blasting.  Tempers are frayed.

CLOSE ON A HAMMERING JACKHAMMER... CAMERA WIDENS TO REVEAL that it is 
being operated by the Shoveler, dressed in work clothes.  Wiped out 
from the night before, the vibrations of the hamer are lulling him off 
to sleep... He nods out... as his BOSS whacks him on the arm.

					BOSS
		YO! CAPTAIN SOMINEX!  Get your shut-eye at 
		home, or you'll be a full time superhero!

EXT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT.  THE RAJA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Raja lies sprawled on his bed, depressed, still in his pee jays, as 
he watches... an ANTHONY ROBBINS infomercial ON THE TV.

					ANTHONY
		It's all within your power.  The only thing 
		that's in your way is YOU!

					RAJA
		Easy for you to say.

EXT.  SALLY'S AUTO DEMOLITION - DAY - ESTABLISHING

An auto junkyard and demotion yard.

EXT.  THE YARD - DAY

A giant press mashes an old car... while nearby Mister Furious does the 
job by hand, demolishing an old Grand Prix with an iron bar.  He does 
it as easily as a normal guy would tear apart a corrugated box, ripping 
off the doors, then tearing off the bumpers and the hood and tossing 
the pieces onto a big pile... His big boned, red faced boss SALLY is 
calling out to him.

					SALLY
		Hey, Roy!

EXT.  THE BACK OF THE YARD - A MINUTE LATER

In a weedy overgrown far corner of the junkyard Sally and Furious stand 
looking a big old hunk of a military vehicle. It is a Herkimer Battle 
Jitney, a heavily armored, windowless, soundproof, personnel carrier 
(designed by the Pentagon in the fifties to take congressmen on 
battlefield fact finding tours).  Overgrown with weeds, home to an 
extended family of pigeons, its fighting days (if it ever had any) are 
over.

					SALLY
		How many times I gotta tell you about this?

					FURIOUS
		Sally, that's a Herkimer Battle Jitney!  They 
		don't make 'em like that anymore.  It's a 
		classic!

					SALLY
		It's a hunk of junk.  I want the iron.  Do it!

She walks away.  Furious growls.  He picks up his iron bar and is about 
to wedge it under the front bumper of the Herkimer...

HIS POV -

But the big old headlights and the sad old grill seem to be looking at 
hint, imploring him for one last chance...

And he just can't do it.  He throws away his iron bar and climbs inside 
the cab of the Herkimer...

IN THE CAB - CONTINUOUS

Furious sits behind the wheel and tenderly touches its beat-up old 
dashboard, then turns on the radio, which, miraculously still works.  
He tunes in a local station, puts his feet up on the dash.

					RADIO ANNOUNCER
		...and continues to deny any knowledge of the 
		incident... In local news, millionaire Lance 
		Hunt has apparently disappeared...

ON FURIOUS, taking immediate notice.

					RADIO ANNOUNCER
		Members at his household told police that the 
		playboy philanthropist failed to return home 
		last night after "going out for a walk".  
		Police say they have no reason yet to suspect 
		foul play, but a search is under way...

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT

Furious, the Shoveler, and the Raja all sit at their booth.

					FURIOUS
		I saw him go in--and he didn't come out!
	
					RAJA
		But we don't know for sure it's the same guy.

Furious groans.

					SHOVELER
		Hey, look.

ON THE TV -

Casanova is being interviewed by DON STOUFFER, the local Mike Wallace.

					CASANOVA
		Well, Don, I've done some terrible things in my 
		life, but now I'm cured, and I just want to 
		give back something to my old home town... 
		That's why I'm using what's left of my fortune 
		to build...

CLOSE ON A MODEL of a huge concrete bunker-like institutional structure 
(i.e.  the Getty)

					CASANOVA (O.S.)
		The Frankenstein Center for the Arts.

					DON
		You've changed, haven't you?

		CASANOVA
		Oh yes.

BACK ON FURIOUS, RAJA, and SHOVELER - 

					FURIOUS
		No he hasn't.

EXT.  FRANKENSTEIN MANSION - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

the wall of the estate... as our heroes' three heads rise up over  
it... and survey the grounds.

					FURIOUS
				(about to climb over)
		Let's go.

					RAJA
			(in a whisper, holding him back)
		Wait!... Look!

THEIR POV -

A group of men are hanging around the door to the house, smoking, 
chatting, and laughing.  A CLOSER ANGLE REVEALS that they are all 
dressed in the height (or depths) of seventies disco fashion.  One of 
them is showing off some steps.

Our heroes fall back behind the safety of the wall and confer.


					RAJA
		This is bad.

					SHOVELER
		Who are they?

					RAJA
		The Disco Boys.


					FURIOUS
		The who?

					RAJA
		The most vicious gang of thugs this city ever 
		produced.  Twenty years ago they were 
		Casanova's personal bodyguard.  But after he 
		was busted they crawled into the woodwork.

					FURIOUS
		Well they've crawled back out.

					SHOVELER
		We may be getting in over our heads here.

					RAJA
		This looks like a job for Superman--

					SHOVELER
		Or Batman--

					RAJA
		Or both.

					FURIOUS
		Don't you guys get it?  If Captain Amazing is 
		still in there, we can rescue him--and get on 
		TV!
			   (goes right over the wall)

They share an exasperated look, then scramble over the wall after him.

INT.  CASANOVA'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and Dr. Anabel Leek are preparing for bed.  Anabel sits in 
front of a huge mirror, brushing her long hair as Casanova moves up 
behind her and puts his hands around her throat, massaging, squeezing, 
just barely resisting the temptation to strangle her.  (She loves it).

					CASANOVA
		Everything's going exactly as we planned.

					ANABEL
			(puts the sharp point of her
			comb handle under his chin)
		Not quite.  You haven't announced our 
		engagement yet.

					CASANOVA
		It must have slipped my mind.

					ANABEL
		Your mind is so slippery.

					CASANOVA
		Don't worry, Pootchkie.  My womanizing days are 
		over.  You're my Lady Macbeth, my Imelda... my 
		Nicole.
				(pulls her into his arms)
		We're such an incredible team.  Who could 
		possibly stop us?
		(kisses her)

CUT RIGHT TO:

EXT.  THE LAWN - CONTINUOUS - ON OUR THREE HEROES

as they crunch their way non too stealthily across the backyard.

					RAJA
		Don't crunch the leaves.

					SHOVELER
		Sorry.

					RAJA
		Be a Mohican.
	    		   (bumps into a lawn chair)

					FURIOUS
		Wait.
				(They all stop.)
		I hear something.

They all listen; there is a low rushing sound... It is the sound of 
water rushing through pipes.  Suddenly, the lawn sprinklers all pop 
up... and our heroes get drenched.  They duck off the lawn, behind the 
cover of a large tree.

					RAJA
		I'm soaked.
				    (sneezes)
		Oh great.

					FURIOUS
		Shhh.

					SHOVELER
		Be a Mohican. 

					RAJA
		Shut up.

Furious sees a pair of French doors, off a small patio.  One of the 
doors is slightiy open.

					FURIOUS
		Come on.

They start sneaking toward it, but as they cross the patio... they trip 
the automatic security lighting, and suddenly find themselves bathed in 
light.

					RAJA
		Uh-oh.

As our heroes look around as a dozen Disco Boys, armed with pipes, 
chains, brass knuckles, step into the light and encircle them... The 
French doors open and Tony P steps out.

					RAJA
		Oh I'm sorry.  We must have the wrong house.

					TONY P
		You sure do.

The Disco Boys attack.  The Raja is instantly clubbed down. The 
Shoveler deflects only a blow or two with his shovel before he goes 
down, too... These guys are not the Red Eyes.

Only Furious holds his own.  He grabs a pipe away from one of them and 
swings fiercely, keeping the others off.  Suddenly, the Disco Boys pull 
back.  Furious doesn't know why, until he turns and sees...

Casanova, standing right behind him, smiling.

					CASANOVA
		Hi there.

With a cat-like move Casanova slashes his gold chain viciously--and 
repeatedly--across Furious' face.  Furious, stunned with pain, lunges 
at Casanova, who neatly steps aside, then catches him with a fast 
combination of spinning disco kicks.  Finally he lassos the chain 
around Furious' neck, and pulls it tight, strangling him.

ON THE DISCO BOYS, watching, snapping their fingers with admiration...

Casanova releases Furious, who slumps to the ground.  Casanova steps 
away, and the Disco Boys gather around Furious and kick him 
viciously... as Casanova and Tony P watch, amused, chuckling.

					CASANOVA
		Superheroes.

					TONY P
		Should I kill them?

					CASANOVA
				(completely disdainful)
		Why bother?

EXT.  JUST OUTSIDE THE MANSION - A MOMENT LATER

The Disco Boys drag our heroes through the gate and throw them like 
bags of garbage into the street... where thay lie in a moaning, 
agonized, semi-conscious heap.

INT.  THE DINER - LATER - CLOSE ON

Furious, rubbing his neck; a thin red mark runs around it. The three of 
them are sitting at their usual table, in very bad shape, moaning and 
groaning... Monica approaches.  She's made them ice packs and cold 
compresses.

					MONICA
		Here you go.
			(sits with them, applies a compress
				to the Raja's head)

					RAJA
		Ow.

					MONICA
		Maybe you guys ought to forget this Superhero 
		stuff and join Kiwanis or something.

A FUSSY CUSTOMER is calling out from another table.

					FUSSY CUSTORER
		Miss!

She moves off.

					RAJA
		Maybe she's right.

					FURIOUS
				(still furious)
		Are you serious? This is the break we've been 
		waiting for!

					SHOVELER
		What are you talking about?

					FURIOUS
		What have the famous superheroes got that we 
		don't?

					RAJA
		Agents?

					FURIOUS
		Archenemies!  Casanova isn't just a criminal--
		he's a supervillain. Stopping him could be our 
		ticket to fame, fortune--and babes!

					SHOVELER
		And it would be the right thing to do.

					FURIOUS
				   (dismissively)
		Yeah yeah--and that, too.

					RAJA
		But there's only three of us, and he's got the 
		entire brotherhood of evil at his disposal.

					FURIOUS
		Then maybe it's time for us to form our own 
		brotherhood...
					(more)
	
					FURIOUS (Cont'd)
		a brotherhood of righteous, crime fighting, 
		skull cracking, Disco Boy bashing, warriors of 
		the night!

					SHOVELER
		I'm liking this.

					FURIOUS
		I say we send out the word--and summon all of 
		the unsung superheroes we know!

					RAJA
				(after a moment)
		Yeah, but... who do we know?

They take a long moment to ponder this.

					FURIOUS
		Well... there's the Spleen.

Shoveler and Raja make disgusted noises.

					RAJA
		Do we have to?

					SHOVELER
		I got this cousin.  He's a real doofus, but he 
		claims he can become invisible.

					FURIOUS
		Have you ever seen him?

					SHOVELER
		How could I see him if he's invisible?

					FURIOUS 
		Good point.

					RAJA
		And there's the Sphinx.

					SHOVELER
		The who?

					RAJA
		He's a legendary masked Mexican crime fighting 
		superwrestler and master of the machete.

					FURIOUS
		Sounds good.

					RAJA
		No one's sure that he actually exists, but they 
		say he can be contacted by leaving a message on 
		a crumpled up napkin at the Tacky Taco down by 
		the bus station.

					SHOVELER
		Get outta here.

EXT.  TACKY TACO - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A funky Mexican restaurant by the bus station.

INT.  THE RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes, in normal clothing, have just finished a taco lunch.  
Furious is writing a mssage on a napkin with a ballpoint pen.

					FURIOUS
		You sure that's how you spell it?

					SHOVELER
		Yeah.

CLOSE ON THE NOTE -

which reads "Spinks, we need you."

They crumple up the napkin and leave the restaurant... A moment later a 
shy looking MEXICAN MAN busses their tray... but in A CLOSE ANGLE we 
see him secretly pocket the napkin.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A little brick house.

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - DAY

A teenage boy's room, decorated to the max with models and posters of 
the great superheroes: Batman, Spiderman, Captain Amazing, etc.  
INVISIBLE BOY, about fifteen, is being interviewed by the Raja, Mister 
Furious, and the Shoveler.

					FURIOUS
		So, let me get this straight.  You have the 
		power to become invisible.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Yes.

					RAJA
		But... only when no one is looking.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Yes.

					FURIOUS
		If someone looks at you, you immediately become 
		visible again.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Yes.

					RAJA
		So you're only invisible... to yourself?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		No.

					OUR HEROES
					(hopefully)
		No?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		If I look at myseif, I become visible.

					RAJA
		So you're only invisible, when abuolutely no 
		one is looking at you?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Yes.

					FURIOUS
		So how do you know that you've ever been 
		invisible?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		I just know.

Our heroes are less than impressed.

					FURIOUS
		Look, kid, we've got a lot of heroes to 
		interview--

					INVISIBLE BOY
					(desperate)
		I know I haven't got it entirely worked out 
		yet, but I've always dreamed of becoming a 
		superhero... Weren't you guys ever a kid? 
		Didn't you ever need someone to just give you a 
		chance?

ON OUR HEROES, looking around the room... and softening up.

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT

Our heroes sit at their usual table along with Invisible Boy and a 
weird looking guy in a greasy, stained yellow superhero outfit.  Across 
his chest in falling off stick on letters it reads "THE SPLEEN", and 
that's exactly who he is.  Furious, the Raja, and Shoveler sit as far 
away from him as possible. He is a totally noxious, hyperactive 
person... and he is thrilled to be there.

					SPLEEN
		Boy I can't tell you how thrilled I was when 
		you guys called--You gonna eat that pickle?
				   (sucks it in)
		I've always dreamed of being a member of the a 
		real superhero team--and to have friends--real 
		friends--I mean guys I could live with--sleep 
		with--die with--eat with...

He puts the mustard dispenser to his lips and squeezes it straight into 
his mouth.

					SPLEEN
		I love mustard.

Furious, Raja, and the Shoveler react; they can't believe they've 
actually invited this guy to join their group.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		So what exactly is your superpower?

					SPLEEN
		Well, when I was a kid I grew up on Love Canal-
		-remember that?--and my brothers and I used to 
		go swimming in it--make Kool-Aid out of it--
		stuff like that.  Anyway my brothers all died, 
		but I lived, and I grew all these like weird 
		organs that have never been seen in humans 
		before.  So now I can do things like this!

He leans over the table and lets just a little tiny drop of spittle 
dribble onto the table...

CLOSE ON THE TABLE -

as the spittle burns a hole in the Formica.

					SPLEEN
		Cool, huh?

The Spleen inadvertently gives the tiniest little burp, and our three 
heroes duck out of the way or under the table.

				FURIOUS, RAJA, & SHOVELER
		Watch it!... Look out!... Whoa!

The people in the next booth give a cry of revulsion, put their hands 
to their mouths, and immediately leave.

					SPLEEN
		Sorry, sorry.

					SHOVELER
		Hey, why don't you just put a cork in it?

					SPLEEN
		I tried that once.  The cork melted.

THE SAME - AFTER DINNER

Our heroes mull their situation over coffee.  Monica freshens their 
cups.  The Spleen squirts mustard in his coffee.

					SHOVELER
		There's just not enough of us.

					FURIOUS
		But we know they're out there. Hundreds--maybe 
		thousands of lonely, unknown superheroes, who 
		desperately need a cause...

					RAJA
		And a social life.

					SHOVELER
		Yeah, but how do we get to them?

					SPLEEN
		Obscene phone calls?

They ignore that suggestion.

					MONICA
		Why don't you throw a barbecue?
			(moves off to another table)

ON OUR HEROES, realizing that's it.

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - NIGHT - WITH MUSIC

Invisible Boy sits at the desk in his room, writing immaculate little 
notes on small file cards.  (He's made a whole pile of them.)

CLOSE ON THE NOTE -

which reads "Got superpowers?  Want to fight evil?  Then JOIN US and 
let's PARTY HEARTY!  Beer!  Burgers!  Babes!"

SERIES OF SHOTS - MUSIC CONTINUES

as our heroes post these notes all over the city, in places where 
lonely superheroes night find them...

The Raja posts a note on the door of a comic book store...

The Shoveler posts a note on the bulletin board at a bowling alley...

Mr. Furious tapes the note to the cracked glass of a vandalized phone 
booth...

At an abandoned drive-in movie theater... Invisible Boy walks through 
the empty lot, taping a note to each of the old speaker posts...

A White Castle hamburger joint... Inside the pay toilet Spleen is 
scratching something on the wall with a nail. He stops and admires his 
handiwork, and we see that he has engraved the entire message on the 
wall...

END MUSIC.

EXT.  SHOVELER'S BACKYARD - DAY

A small, typical working class backyard.  A round, aluminum above 
ground pool.  A Weber grill with burgers on it. Unopened packages of 
hamburger rolls.  An old Vic Damon record plays on a boom box.  The 
Spleen floats around on a rubber raft in the pool.

					SPLEEN
		Come on in!  The water's great!

In fact, the water is turning a yellowish green... The rest of our 
heroes sit around on cheap folding chairs.  No superheroes have shown 
up.  The Shoveler, at the grill, serves burgers to his kids, who stand 
in line waiting for them.

					BUTCH
				(heavy on the sarcasm)
		Great picnic, Dad.

					EDDIE JR.
		Big turnout.

					ROLAND
		Are these guys real superheroes?

					LENORE
		They think so.

The kids scoff...  A moment later they head back to the house with 
their burgers.

					ROLAND
		But where's Captain Amazing?

					EDDIE JR.
		He wouldn't be caught dead here.

They go into the house.  No one says anything.  The Shoveler just 
stares at the burgers on the grill.  Vic Damon sings. Furious chugs his 
beer; he's working himself into a really morose mood.

ON THE SPLEEN, munching on a chlorine tablet.

					SPLEEN
		Hey, these pool mints are delicious!

Raja looks at his watch.

					RAJA
		Maybe there was traffic.

					FURIOUS
		Who are we kidding?  No one's gonna show.  
		We're living in a fantasy!

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Come on, guys--we're fighting against evil.

					FURIOUS
		Good or evil, what's the difference?

					SHOVELER
		There's a big difference.

					FURIOUS
		I used to believe that.  Now I'm not so sure.

					RAJA
		Roy, remember, it is all within your power.  
		The only thing that's in your way... is you.

					FURIOUS
		Oh shut up.

Suddenly, there is a knock at the gate.  Everyone immediately perks up.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		They're here!

A moment later they open the gate and see... HALF A DOZEN BURLY GUYS 
wearing various superhero outfits.

					THEIR LEADER
		Hey, man, is this the superhero wingding?

					RAJA
		This is it.  Come on in!

					SUPERHEROES
		All right!  Party!  (Etc.)

At first glance these guys seem promising... but their outfits are 
decidedly improvised: weird goggles and sunglasses, shower curtain 
capes, baseball caps with beer cans on them.  Their leader holds a 
squeegee with a long handle... Furious is suspicious.

					RAJA
		I am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware.

					THEIR LEADER
		I am Squeegee Man, and these are my compadres, 
		the Invincible Dudes!

The Invincible Dudes spot the keg.

					INVINCIBLE DUDES
		Whoa!  Brews!  Party!  (Etc.)

They go immediately to the keg and start filling beer cups and guzzling 
them down.  The Raja tries to hand out some forms.

					RAJA
		Would you mind filling out these forms; names, 
		addresses, description of superpowers, that 
		sort of thing.

					INVINCIBLE DUDES
		Sure, dude.  No problem.  (Etc.)
			(but they just toss the forms away)

ON FURIOUS, watching, starting to get pissed off.

					INVINCIBLE DUDE 1
		Hey, man, like where are the babes?

					INVINCIBLE DUDE 2
		It said on the card there'd be babes!

					RAJA
		Actually we lied about the babes, but there's 
		plenty of burgers.

					INVINCIBLE DUDES
		That's false advertising!... We came all the 
		way from South Champion, man!  We coulda gone 
		plinking!... We coulda gone bunqee jumping!

					SQUEEGEE MAN
		No babes.  No peace.

					INVISIBLE DUDES (chanting)
		No babes--no peace!  No babes--no peace!  No 
		babes--no peace!

					SQUEEGEE MAN
		Let's trash the place!

					INVINCIBLE DUDES
		Yeah!

Furious, fed up, confronts Squeegee Man.

					FURIOUS
		If you're a superhero, what's your power?

					SQUEEGEE MAN
		I am Squeegee Man.
			(holding it out threateningly)
		Touch my squeegee... and you die.

The Invincible Dudes are cracking up.

					FURIOUS
		Can you fly?

					SQUEEGEE MAN
		No.

					FURIOUS
		Wanna bet?

EXT.  JUST OUTSIDE THE YARD - CONTINUOUS

as Squeegee Man comes flying--and screaming--over the fence, landing 
none too gracefully in the front yard.

A beat and his squeegee come flying out after him.  Another beat and 
the Invincible Dudes come running out the gate in a panic.

					INVINCIBLE DUDES
		Let's get out of here!... That dude's crazy!

They take off down the street, running right past a woman, carrying a 
bowling ball bag and dressed in a faded, threadbare old rayon superhero 
costume with a decidedly fifties flavor. She is THE BOWLER.

EXT.  SHOVELER'S BACKYARD - A MOMENT LATER

Our heroes sit around the patio, dejected, miserable.

					BOWLER (O.S.)
		Who died?

They look up, see her standing there, and aren't quite sure what to 
make of her.

					RAJA
		Who are you?

					BOWLER
		I'm the Bowler.

					SHOVELER
		The Bowler?  I remember him from when I was a
		kid.  He was killed years ago.

					BOWLER
		I'm his daughter.

Our heroes share a look.

					SHOVELER
		Look, honey, being a superhero... it's a
		guy thing.

					BOWLER
		Really?

She takes her bowling ball and spins it on the tip of her finger (like 
a Harlem Globetrotter).  For a long moment she just looks at them, 
smiling.

ON THE OTHERS watching, almost mesmerized by the spinning ball...

Suddenly, she gives an ear splitting battle cry and starts swinging the 
ball around her in wide ferocious arcs, like a cannibal with a war 
club--or a twirler on meth, going so fast she almost becomes a blur...

Then, just as suddenly, she stops, aims and rolls her ball... It shoots 
straight through Invisible Boy's legs...

ON A NEATLY PLACED COLLECTION OF PLASTER LAWN DWARVES -

as the ball smashes into then, pulverizing them... It goes into a 
reverse spin, passes through Invisible Boy's legs again, and returns to 
the Bowler who is holding its bag open for it... The ball rolls in.

					BOWLER
		Good ball.

ON OUR HEROES, left absolutely speechless.

					BOWLER
		If it could zip up its own bag, then you'd be 
		impressed, right?

She turns and walks out.  Our heroes share an amazed look, then run 
after her...

JUST OUTSIDE THE GATE - ON THE BOWLER

walking away... as Furious catches up with her.

					FURIOUS
		Hey... Can I buy you a beer?

					BOWLER
		I thought you'd never ask.

She takes his arm and they all start to walk back into the Shoveler's 
backyard... but the CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE STREET to the dark place 
between two houses, where a MAN WEARING A STRANGE STEEL MASK with a 
frightening, impassively powerful expression stands in the deep 
shadows, watching them in motionless, predatory silence.  We do not 
know who he is, and we cannot tell if he is good or evil.

BACK AT THE BARBECUE - A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON

A FADED OLD SNAPSHOT of the original "The Bowler" holding a little girl 
in his arms.

					BOWLER (O.S.)
		He was more than just a superhero...  He was my 
		father...

The others, touched by this, have gathered around the Bowler, who is 
holding the old snapshot in her hand.

					BOWLER
		And then one day, he didn't come home.  The 
		police said it was an accident.  But cargo 
		containers don't just fall on people.  He was 
		murdered... After that I fell apart.  I dropped 
		out of school, became a mud wrestler, married 
		and divorced a jerk.  When my mother died I hit 
		bottom... but then, when I was cleaning out her 
		attic, I found my father's old bowling bag and 
		costume, almost like he'd left them there for 
		me... and I knew what I had to do.

					SHOVELER
		So who killed him?
	
					BOWLER
		The Disco Boys.

					FURIOUS
		You know something? Those guys are really 
		starting TO PISS ME OFF!

					SHOVELER
		But there's still only six of us.

					FURIOUS
		SO WHAT?

					BOWLER
		That's two more than the Fantastic Four.

					FURIOUS
		Half a Dirty Dozen!

					SPLEEN
		Twice the Three Stooges!

					INVISIBLE BOY
		And only one short of the Magnificent Seven.

					RAJA
		And you can't count Horst Buckholtz anyway.

					BOWLER
		He was cute though.

					RAJA
		But they all had one thing we haven't got.

					SPLEEN
		Girlfriends?

					RAJA
		A name.  All the great superhero teams have got 
		a fabulous name.

They all think about it for a moment.  You can almost smell their 
brains overheating.

					BOWLER
		How about... the Savage Six?

					RAJA
		The Inscrutable Six?

					SPLEEN
		The Six Pistols?

					SHOVELER
		The Exterminators!

					INVISIBLE BOY
		The Obliterators!

					RAJA
		The Eradicators!

					BOWLER
		The Emasculators!

					SPLEEN
		Wait--I got it!... The Spleen Team.

He gets beaned by a couple of empty soda cans.

					FURIOUS
		To hell with a name.  Let's get to work.

MUSIC UP as Furious stands and starts out.  The others stand and follow 
him... as our heroes form up for their first HEROIC GROUP SHOT.

EXT.  CITY STREET - NIGHT

MUSIC CONTINUES as A LITTLE OLD LADY crosses the street, when suddenly 
she looks up and sees a pair of headlights coming on fast.  An 
immaculately maintained seventies limo is heading straight for her.

INSIDE THE LIMO - CONTINUOUS

Disco Boys sit in the front.  Casanova, Anabel, and Tony P sit in the 
back, dressed for a night on the town...

There is a thud as the limo hits the old lady, and everyone in the car 
explodes into laughter.

					TONY P
		Little old lady.  That's a hundred points!

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE LIMO - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as the limo drives past a billboard with an ad for "MILK" with a milk 
mustached Captain Amazing looking at the camera...

					TONY P
		He knows your every move.

Tony P imitates a massive electrical convulsion, and the villains crack 
up.

But as they pass the billboard, a pair of headlights illuminate in its 
shadows, and the Shoveler's Ford Esquire pulls out and follows.

INSIDE THE ESQUIRE - CONTINUOUS

The Shoveler is driving.  Mister Furious sits in the front seat next to 
him, and our other heroes are packed into the back.

					FURIOUS
		Let's say hello.

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE TWO CARS - CONTINUOUS

As the limo stops at a traffic light... and the Esquire pulls up 
alongside it.  For a moment good and evil stare each other down.

					TONY P
		Not these guys again!

The Disco Boys howl with laughter.

					CASANOVA
		Nice car.

The D Boys laugh.  Furious stares at Casanova, and Casanova stares 
right back at him, as cool as a snake.

					FURIOUS
		What did you do with Captain Amazing?

					CASANOVA
		Captain who?

					TONY P
				(spots the Bowler)
		Hey, in the backseat, who are you supposed to 
		be, the Bowler?

					BOWLER
		I'm his daughter.

					TONY P
		His daughter?  Well guess what, sweetheart?  
		I'm the one who squished your Daddy.  And he 
		squished real good!

The villains laugh, and Mister Furious EXPLODES INTO RAGE.  He swings 
open his car door, mashing it into the limo and leaving a big dent.

					TONY P
		HEY!

					FURIOUS
		'SCUSE ME!

He starts punching the limo like it's a punching bag--putting big dents 
in it.

					TONY
		Waste him!

Tony and the boys all reach into their coats for their pistols--but as 
they yank them out, the Spleen sticks his head out of the station 
wagon, puts his face right up to the open window of the limo and lets 
loose with a TREMENDOUS BELCH...

As the villains choke and gag in the noxious fumes, Mister Furious goes 
on a DEMOLITION RAMPAGE, working his way around the limo, punching big 
dents with his fists, breaking the windows with his head, flattening 
the tires by kicking them, knocking off the rear view mirror with the 
back of his hand...

Then he leaps up on top of the limo...

While inside the villains gasp for air as big dents are stomped into 
the roof above them...

ANGLE THROUGH THE WINDSHEILD as Furious leaps down onto the hood, and 
gazes in at them.

					FURIOUS
		Shall I check your oil?

He plunges his hand through the metal of the hood, pulls out the car's 
dip stick, and checks it.

					FURIOUS
		Looks fine.

He tosses the dip stick away, then leaps off JUST AS Tony P gets off a 
shot, EXPLODING the windshield of the limo.

Furious lands safely on the hood of the station wagon.  As the Shoveler 
throws the Esquire into gear, Furious shouts...

					FURIOUS
		NICE CAR!

And our heroes streak off into the night... Casanova and the others 
stagger out of the demolished limo, sucking in the clean air.

					CASANOVA
				(impressed by Furious)
		That boy's got talent.

					TONY P
		And I'm gonna nip it in the bud.

ANGLE ON A DARKENED ALLEY -

where the man in the strange steel mask can be seen... watching.

EXT.  A BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

A very typical, nondescript neighborhood place...

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes stand at the bar, celebrating their first victory.

					SHOVELER
		To us!

					RAJA
		Whatever our name is.

They toast and drink.

THE SAME - LATER

The Spleen is passed out at a table, snoring. Shoveler and Invisible 
Boy sit next to him.

					SHOVELER
		Even his snores smell bad.

Raja and Bowler sit at the bar, deep in it.

					BOWLER
		But she's your mother.  You gotta tell her.

					RAJA
		I can't.

ON SHOVELER AND INVISIBLE BOY

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Dad thinks all this superhero stuff is a stupid 
		waste of time.

					SHOVELER
		But he plays golf, right?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Yeah.

BACK ON RAJA AND BOWLER -

					RAJA
		I'm her only son, and she always had such high 
		hopes for me. Medicine.  Law.

					BOWLER
		But you're a superhero.

					RAJA
		The cape.  The turban.  She wouldn't 
		understand.

					BOWLER
		I know... My girlfriends all dumped me after I 
		put on the mask.  They thought I'd lost it.

					RAJA
		But in fact... you'd found it.

They clink their glasses and drink.

BACK ON SHOVELER AND INVISIBLE BOY -

					SHOVELER
		This is your dream... and you can't ever give 
		it up.

The Spleen makes weird noises in his sleep.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		I wonder what he dreams about?

					SHOVELER
		We don't want to know.

Mr. Furious sits alone in the corner, brooding, lost in his own angry 
thoughts..

OUTSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

A black van drives slowly past the bar.

INSIDE THE VAN - CONTINUOUS

The van is packed with Disco Boys.  Tony P sits in the front seat.

					TONY P
		There.

HIS POV -

He has spotted the Ford Esquire parked in the lot.

BACK IN THE BAR - A LITTLE LATER

ON THE BOWLER AND RAJA -

					BOWLER
		It's late.  I'm headin' home.

					RAJA
		Me, too.

					BOWLER
				(to Invisible Boy)
		Come on, Junior, it's a school night.

JUST OUTSIDE - A MONENT LATER

As our heroes, carrying the Spleen, leave.

					FURIOUS
		Anybody up for a little White Castle?

But suddenly the world is a whirling sass of chains and clubs as they 
are bushwhacked by the Disco Boys...

EXT.  AN ALLEY - A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

as he comes to with a qroan and sees... the Bowler and Invisible Boy 
tied up and gagged, with the Raja, Shoveler, and the Spleen trussed up 
right next to them.  Furious looks up, sees Tony P standing over him.

					TONY P
		Hi, cutie.

Furious struggles, but he has been secured with some very heavy tire 
chains.  Tony P takes out a large caliber revolver, flips it open to 
make sure it's loaded.

					TONY P
		Six losers. Six bullets. Perfect... Got any 
		last words, Angry Boy?

					FURIOUS
		Disco sucks.

					TONY P
		Disco sucks.  Very good.  You know what I'm 
		gonna do, Angry Boy, since you're so colorful?  
		I'm gonna save you for last.

He turns and points the pistol right at Invisible Boy's head. Furious 
struggles against his chains--to no avail.

					TONY P
		Sweet dreams, punk.

Invisible Boy closes his eyes... Tony P cocks the pistol... But 
suddenly, there is the ring of steel--a broad blade sweeps through the 
air, and Tony P's pistol is sliced neatly in half.

					TONY P
				(holding half a pistol)
		HOLY...

The man is the strange steel mask is standing there, the drawn machete 
still in his hand.

					MAN IN MASK
		Buenos naches.

					TONY P
		Get him!

The Disco Boys rush the newcomer, but he slices through their baseball 
bats with his machete, and sends them reeling and crashing into each 
other with expert forearm blows, whacks with the flat of his blade, and 
head butts with his mask.

Furious struggles to break free and join the fight, but the chains are 
too strong... and the stranger doesn't need any help.

Tony P flicks open a big switchblade and lunges at the stranger, who 
sidesteps him like a matador and swings his machete at him.  Tony P 
turns, about to charge again.

					MAN IN MASK
				    (Mexican accent)
		Would you like me to trim the sides?

					TONY P
		What?

Tony P feels the top of his head, and realizes that the blow from the 
machete has neatly sliced off the top his disco-do, leaving only 
stubble on the top of his head.

					TONY P
			     	  (freaking out)
		LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

Tony and the Disco Boys run for it...

Furious and the others study their masked savior, who stands before 
them, machete in hand.

					FURIOUS
		You're the Sphinx.

					SPHINX
		And you are a fool.

He raises his machete above Furious' head... and then slices clean 
through the chains.

EXT.	AUTO DEMOLITION YARD - LATER THAT NIGHT

Our heroes have gathered around a scrap wood fire in a steel drum. They 
sit on the ground and on old car seats, feeling like schmucks as the 
Sphinx chews theu out, his mask looking very friqhtening and magical in 
the flickering light.

					SPHINX
		You call yourselves superheroes? A rooster 
		fights more intelligently than you!  You have 
		shown yourself to your enemy and revealed your 
		powers to him--and what have you accouplished 
		for this?  You have destroyed his car.  
		Brilliant!  If you want to survive you must 
		fight like a wolf pack--not like a six pack!

Furious sulks, but the others get the point.

					SPHINX
		The wolf is cunning.  He knows that stealth is 
		his greatest weapon, and he always fights as a 
		team...
					(more)

				SPHINX (Cont'd)
				(at Furious)
		Not like some drunken Tejano on Saturday night.

Furious grunts.

					SPHINX
		Casanova Frankenstein is a a master of evil.  
		You will need more than shovels and dessert 
		forks to stop him... What else have you got?

They are silent.

					FURIOUS
				     (angrily)
		So what else has Superman got?

					SHOVELER
		He's got the fact that he's Superman!

					BOWLER
		Bullets bounce off him!

Furious sulks again, feeling that the others are turning against him.

					RAJA
		Firepower costs money.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Anybody got any?

A silence.

					SHOVELER
		We didn't think this through very well.

					BOWLER
				(after a moment)
		My father had this friend... He was an inventor...

EXT.  DOC HELLER'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

Our heroes stand looking at an old farubouse.  The place is an absolute 
wreck.  It hasn't been painted in twenty-five years. Windows are 
boarded up.  Half the shingles are gone.  There's visible fire damage 
around the kitchen window.

					SHOVELER
		Are you sure he's still lives here?

					RAJA
		Are you sure he's still alive?

					BOWLER
		He was the last time I saw him.

					SHOVELER
		When was that?
	
					BOWLER
		I was eight.

She is about to knock, but the door is suddenly yanked open, and an 
eighty year old guy is standing there.  He's got a wild head of white 
hair (that looks like a living explosion), and he wears a stained old 
lab coat with stickum mtssages to himself stuck to it, non-matching 
slippers, and a pair of thick glasses with frames that have been 
composited of half a dozen different old pairs all taped and welded 
together into a fantastic concoction.  He is DOC HELLER.

					HELLER
		Yes!

					BOWLER
		Doctor Heller?

					HELLER
				(doesn't recognize her)
		Yes!

					BOWLER
		It's me... Elizabeth.

					HELLER
		Elizabeth!  Little Elizabeth!  Why you're so... 
		middle aged!

					BOWLER
		Thanks.

					HELLER
		How's your dad?

					BOWLER
		He's dead.

					HELLER
		Oh that's right--they squished him...  Heck of 
		a guy.

Furious throws a look at the Shoveler and Raja.  This guy's out of it.  
They're wasting their time.

					BOWLER
		Doc, these are my friends.  We're superheroes, 
		and we need your help.

					HELLER
		Well, I give to the United Way, and I feel that 
		sort of covers--

					SPHINX
		Doctor, we need your weapons.

					HELLER
				    (ecstatic)
		My weapons? You need my weapons?

EXT.  BEHIND THE HOUSE - A MINUTE LATER - MOVING ANGLE

as Doctor Heller leads them all briskly across his overgrown yard 
toward... the barn.

					HELLER
		The military establishment has never understood 
		me.  They won't return my phone calls, much 
		less field test anything.  But I knew that 
		someday I'd get my chance, and now... here you 
		are!
			   (pulls open the barn door)

INT.  THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

As our heroes step into Heller's laboratory/arsenal.  A stack of small 
aluminum cans lines one wall.  There are weird lookinq sprayers, tubes, 
and strange homemade toy-like devices... but there isn't a firearm in 
sight.

					RAJA
		But, Doc... where's the machine guns?

					SHOVELER
		The bazookas?

					INVISIBLE BOY
		The lasers?

					HELLER
		You don't need that junk!  You see, for 
		thousands of years mankind has been immolating, 
		disemboweling, and exploding itself.  Why?  
		Because we have this built-in screwed up need 
		to go to war!
					(more)

					HELLER (Cont'd)
		So as a young man I thought, why nat have the 
		fun and excitement of war, without all that 
		unnecessary bloodshed.  That's why I have 
		devoted my life to developing an arsenal of 
		highly sophisticated non-lethal military 
		weapons.
				(points to a hand held tube)
		Air cannons... Blame throwers... Feet seeking 
		missiles... And perhaps my ultimate 
		invention...
	   		   (picks up one of the small cans)
		The canned tornado.

Furious groans, and the others share a look.  This guy's really a nut.

					HELLER
		Now here's a beauty!
			(picks up a purple and orange sprayer
			that looks like a suped up water gun)
		I call it the Shrinker!  I developed it after 
		years of studying the worst dry cleaners I 
		could find.  It instantly shrinks fabrics to 
		half their size.  Anyone caught in its spray is 
		immediately immobilized by their own clothing!

					FURIOUS
		Let's get out of here.

Furious turns and goes out, and the others start to follow. But the 
Bowler picks up a canned tornado.

OUTSIDE THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

as Furious walks away, the Bowler steps out of the barn.

					BOWLER
		Hey, Mister Bad Mood.

Furious stops, turns back.

					BOWLER
			(pulls the ring on the can)
		Catch.

She tosses the can to him.  He catches it--just as a small angry 
tornado FUNNELS out of the can.  It catches Furious and lifts him high 
in the air... then dissipates to nothing...

A beat later Furious lands on the ground with a painful thump.

ON THE OTHERS, amazed.

Furious gets to his feet, unhurt, but really pissed off.  He starts 
back toward the barn, violently kicking the empty can. The others get 
out of his way, as, muttering angrily to himself, he goes back into the 
barn...

And emerges a moment later, toting the air cannon.

					HELLER
		He's got the air cannon!

The others think he's going to use it on them and scatter for cover. 
but Furious steps out into the yard, looking for a suitable target... 
He sees an old abandoned outhouse, puts the air cannon to his shoulder, 
aims, and fires...

There is a loud WHOOOOMPH of compressed air, and the huge recoil of the 
cannon instantly flings Furious back against the wall of the barn.  But 
the big rush of air hits the shed dead center... and BLOWS IT TO 
PIECES, leaving only the old seat.

Furious gets up, dusts himself off, and moves to Doc Heller.

					FURIOUS
		Doc, you're a genius!
				     (hugs him)

					HELLER
		I know.

					FURIOUS
				(turns to the others)
		Okay! We got the firepower!  I say we throw it 
		into the car, drive over to Casanova's house, 
		and kick some ass!

					SPHINX
		No.

The others ignore Furious and listen to the Sphinx.

					SPHINX
		We are not yet ready.  Now we must learn to 
		fight together... as one thing.

The others nod in agreemnt... while Furious fumes.

MONTAGE WITH MUSIC - TRAINING AT THE FARM

CLOSE ON DOC HELLER aiming his air cannon... CAMERA PULLS BACK TO 
REVEAL our heroes (minus Furious) standing in a pack right behind him, 
holding him down. HE fires, and the recoil jolts them all violently, 
but it doesn't knock them over...

as half a dozen scarecrows are blown to pieces... Our heroes chieer and 
shake their fists... while Mr. Furious sits alone on the sidelines, 
drinking bourbon, and feeling very alienated.

VARIOUS SHOTS as our heroes learn to fight as a team... crawling across 
the grass together....charginq in a line... hurling canned tornadoes... 
while Furious sits it out, brooding, drinking, and getting very jealous 
of the Sphinx.

Shoveler, Bowler, and the Sphinx stand shoulder to shoulder, as 
Invisible Boy, Spleen, Raja, and the Doc throw small stones at them... 
They deflect the pebbles with shovel, bowling ball, and machete... 
Theyre having fun.  They're becoming a team...

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE BARN - EVENING

Furious drinks alone, while the rest of our heroes sit around an old 
picnic table, feasting on sodas and pizza (like a football team after a 
great practice.)  Raja explains the history of the situation to the 
Sphinx.

					RAJA
		Twenty years ago all the major hoodlums of this 
		city were united into one great brotherhood of 
		evil, and Casanova was their king.

					SHOVELER
		Crime was rampant.  It wasn't safe to stay in 
		your home.

					BOWLER
		Much less go outside.

					SHOVELER
		Then Captain Amazing appeared.

					RAJA
		He busted Casanova and sent the crooks packing.

					SHOVELER
		And this has been a pretty nice place to live 
		ever since.

					FURIOUS
				    (pissed off)
		But now Casanova's back!  And we're gonna sit 
		around here all night eating pizza and telling 
		stories! Hey, lets toast some marshmellows!

					SPHINX
		The wise snake coils before he strikes.

					FURIOUS
				(lunges at the Sphinx)
		And a skunk stinks!

Furious and the Sphinx square off, their faces only inches apart.

					SPHINX
		You drink too much.

					FURIOUS
		When are you going to take off that mask?

					SPHINX
				    (pointedly)
		When I am sure I am among friends.

					RAJA
		Roy--

					FURIOUS
				(snapping at him)
		Go dance with your mother, Jeffrey!

ON THE RAJA, hurt.

					SPHINX
		Your rage is a very great power, but it blinds 
		you to your heart.

					FURIOUS
		My heart died a long time ago.

					SPHINX
		It is not dead.  It is hiding.

					FURIOUS
		Blow it out your bean hole, Pancho!... And to 
		hell with the rest of you!... Look at you.  
		Bunch of rejects.  I didn't need you before--
		and I don't need you now!
			(jumps on to his motorcycle)
		The great ones RIDE ALONE!
			(kicks the engine started)
		Adios, muchachos!
			(and he rides off across the field)

ON THE OTHERS, watching him...

					BOWLER
		Has he always been like this?

EXT.  COUNTRY ROAD - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

the wind whipping against his face, as he rides his Harley at about a 
hundred miles an hour... The languorous sound of an OLD DEAN MARTIN 
SONG is heard as we...

FADE INTO:

MENORY SEQUENCE - DAY - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

as a little boy, sitting in the backseat of the family car. It is 
thirty years ago, and Mister Furious is a sweet, very shy, well 
behaved, perfectly normal three year old.  His MOTHER and FATHER sit in 
the front.  Dean Martin is playing on the car radio.  Little Furious 
looks out the window and sees the Mohave Desert going by.  A sign reads 
"Las Vegas, 120 miles".

					MOTHER
				   (to husband)
		Oh this place looks great.

An old sign reads "BAR" as the family car pulls into the parking lot of 
a single adobe building out in the middle of nowhere.  They park.

					MOTHER
		Now honey, you just wait in the car.  Mommy and 
		Daddy will be right beck.

They get out, lock the car and head for the bar, leaving the windows 
up.  Little Furious watches them go, never suspecting that his entire 
life is about to change.  He sits quietly in the backseat and plays 
with the little superhero figurines that he's brought with him.

					LITTLE FURIOUS
		Pow!  Bang!  Wham!

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

as the parents enter.  A very Western motif.  An old Gene Autrey song 
is playing on the juke.  The air conditioning is on.	They're the only 
customers in the place.

					MOTHER
		It's nice and cool in here.

					FATHER
				(as they sit at the bar)
		Barkeep, a couple of cold ones.

CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CAR AND BAR -

ANGLE ON THE MIDDAY SON - blazing down on the car...

as Little Furious still plays with his superheroes, but the interior is 
starting to bake, and the sweat begins to pour ofr him.  He looks out 
at the bar. gettinq worried.  He tries the windows, but they're 
automatic and won't open...

Back in the bar his parents down shots of bourbon with their beers, as 
the BARTENDER finishes telling them a joke.

					BARTENDER
		And here's a banana for your monkey.

Mom and Dad have a good laugh.

					BARTENDER
		Couple more?

					FATHER
		You bet.

ANGLE FROM OUTSIDE TUE CAR as Little Furious, sweat and tears pouring 
out of him, his hair wet and sticking out (and starting to take on that 
familiar look), pounds on the window.

					LITTLE FURIOUS
		Mommy!  Daddy!  Mommy!  Daddy!

as back in the bar his parents, now very drunk, down more beers and 
chasers as they play a spirited game of pinball.

ANGLE ON THE MOHAVE SUN - beating down mercilessly

barely able to breath, Little Furious flops back onto the seat, his 
face a mask of heat and terror... But suddenly, a change begins to take 
place in him, as some primordial defense mechanism kicks in... and his 
fear begins to give way to rage... His teeth bare.

CLOSE ON HIS HANDS -

as they CRUSH the superhero figurines in their grasp...

While back in the bar his drunken parents dance a slow two step to Hank 
Williams "Your Cheatin' Heart"...

EXT.  TBE PARKING LOT - NIGHT - HANK WILLIAMS CONTINUES

as the big desert moon shines down on the family car, still parked 
there.

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

The parents are asleep in a booth.  Furious' mother wakes up, looks 
around groggily, and in a moment of horror suddenly remembers...

					MOTHER
		OH MY GOD!

THE PARKING LOT - A BEAT LATER

as she runs toward the car, hysterical.

					MOTHER
		Oh my God!  Oh my God!  Oh my God!

She unlocks the door, throws it open, and sees something that makes her 
pull back in horror... Little Furious sits in the backseat.  His hair 
sticks out wildly, his face has become that now familiar mask of 
prisordial rage.  Another OLD DEAN MARTIN SONG is heard as we...

FADE INTO:

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

sitting alone in the booth, a look of profound pain and lonliness on 
his face; he is still that little boy.  The Dean Martin song is playing 
on the juke.

					MONICA (0.S.)
		Hi.

He looks up and sees Monica.

					FURIOUS
		Hi.

					MONICA
		Alone tonight?

					FURIOUS
		Every night.

She smiles.

EXT.  THE FRANKENSTEIN MANSION - CONTINUOUS

Armed Disco Boys guard the front entrance...

While on the hillside above Invisible Boy (looking through binoculars) 
and the Spleen lie together on their bellies in the weeds, keeping the 
mansion under surveillance.

					SPLEEN
				  (in a whisper)
		Adolescence was the worst--The other kids made 
		fun of me, so I'd spit on them and they'd 
		scatter--I've never had a girlfriend--unless 
		you count that night with my cousin--She 
		recovered fully though--We exchange cards every 
		Christmas--Well, I send her one, and she sends 
		it back...
			(spritzes somathing into his mouth,
			then offers it to Invisible Boy)
		Bug repellent?

Suddenly, the gates of the mansion open and several sedans... followed 
by a truck, drive out...

POV THROUGH BINOCULARS -

Casanova and Anabel sit in the front of the truck.

					INVISIBLE BOY (0.S.)
		Where are they going?

Invisible Boy hesitates for just a momnt, then gets up and runs down 
the hill.

					SPLEEN
				(runs after him)
		Kid!

As the small convoy drives past, Invisible Boy slips out from behind 
some trees, runs after the truck, jumps up and sits on its rear bumper.  
The Spleen comes running after him, and Invisible Boy reaches out, 
grabs his hand and pulls him up alongside him.  Invisible Boy tries the 
rear gate.  It's open. The two of them pull it up just a foot, squirm 
inside, then pull it closed behind them.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - CONTINUOUS

Invisible Boy flashes the light of his key chain flashlight around the 
inside of the truck.  There is nothing in it, except for a large pile 
of packing blankets.

EXT.  WATERFRONT AREA - NIGHT

as the convoy drives through Champion City's seedy waterfront area and 
out onto a long pier.

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT - CLOSE ON THE TV

Dawn Wong and Don Stouffer report the night's news.

					DAWN
		...still no sign of millionaire Lance Hunt, and 
		now, in an unrelated story, another one of 
		Champion City's leading citizens has apparently 
		disappeared. Captain Amazing has not been seen 
		or heard from in a week. Authorities believe 
		that the hard working superhero may just be 
		taking a well deserved rest.

					DON
		Cancun perhaps?

					DAWN
		Sounds good to me, Don.

Mr. Furious sits in the booth drinking coffee as Monica serves him his 
burger and fries.

					FURIOUS
				   (floundering)
		Monica... I was wondering if--uh-maybe we--I 
		mean you and I--could-uh--you know--get a--I 
		mean have a...

					MONICA
		Date?

					FURIOUS
		Yeah.

					MONICA
		I get off work in fifteen minutes. Walk me 
		home?

					FURIOUS
		Sure.

					MONICA
		That was easy.
				(goes back to work)

ON FURIOUS, feeling a whole lot better.

JUST OUTSIDE THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - UNKNOWN POV

from across the street.  Furious' head is clearly visible in the 
brightly illuminated window of the diner.

A Disco Boy stands in the shadows, gazing at the diner; he recognizes 
Furious.

EXT.  WATERFRONT - NIGHT

The convoy has pulled up alongside a rusty old freighter, docked at the 
pier.

Casanova's men throw the gate of the truck open, and the CAMERA MOVES 
IN.  No one is there, but we notice... two large lumps under the 
packing blankets.

Casanova holds Anabel in his arms as they watch a large wooden crate 
being lowered from the deck of the freighter.

					CASANOVA
		Honey, our ship's come in.

Casanova's cellular phone rings.

OUTSIDE THE DINER - CONTINUOUS

The Disco Boy is on his phone.  His pistol is drawn, and he's got it 
aimed right at Furious' head.

					DISCO BOY
		Just give me the word.

BACK TO THE PIER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

					CASANOVA
				   (gets an idea)
		Wait.  I'll be right there.
				(hangs up, starts off)

					ANABEL
				     (peeved)
		Where are you going?

					CASANOVA
		Head hunting.

A minute later Casanova and two or three Disco Boys drive off in one of 
the sedans... as the crate is loaded onto the truck, and the gate is 
pulled closed... and locked.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - A MOMENT LATER

The engine starts up, and the truck starts to move, as Invisible Soy 
and the Spleen poke their heads out from under the packing blankets... 
They approach the crate and Invisible Boy shines his flashlight on it.  
The crate is secured with rivets and thick metal bands; there's no way 
they're going to be able to get inside it, but in the light of the 
flashlight they see...

Faded red lettering, in Russian, and the distinctive old hammer and 
sickle of the former Soviet Union.

EXT.  DIMLY LIT STREET - NIGHT

Furious walks Monica home.

					MONICA
		I admire you.

					FURIOUS
		Why?

					MONICA
		Being a superhero, wanting to save the world.  
		It's so... unselfish.

					FURIOUS
		It is?

					MONICA
		Most people just want to make money or be 
		famous or something.  But you risk everything, 
		just to help people.

					FURIOUS
				(after a moment)
		I wouldn't mind being famous.

					MONICA
		Who wouldn't?

In the shadows behind them... Casanova follows, stalking them, as 
silent as a vampire.

					MONICA
		I've never been able to figure out what to do 
		with my life, which is why I guess I'm still a 
		waitress.

					FURIOUS
		Nothing wrong with being a waitress.

					MONICA
		What's your real name?

					FURIOUS
		Roy.

					MONICA
		Have you always lived here?

He nods.

					MONICA
		Me too... I love this stupid old town.  It's 
		noisy.  It's smelly. It's falling apart.

					FURIOUS
		It's home.

					MONICA
		Yeah.

CASANOVA'S POV

Monica, smiling, looking lovely.

CLOSE 0N CASANOVA; he wants her...

BACK ON FURIOUS AND MONICA -

					MONICA
		I've thought of leaving, going to Chicago or 
		New York, but...

					FURIOUS
		What have they got that we ain't got?

					MONICA
		Champion's going to bounce back, and I want to 
		be here when it does.

					FURIOUS
		Me, too.

					MONICA
		You don't seem very angry right now.

He shrugs.  And they kiss, very tenderly.

					MONICA
		You know what?  Underneath all that anger I 
		think there's just a little boy who wants 
		everyone to love him.

					FURIOUS
		I just want to be a superhero.

					MONICA
		That's what I mean... 'Night, Roy.

She turns and climbs the stairs of an old apartmnt building and goes 
inside, as Furious watches, feeling emotions hees not used to. He 
really likes her.  He starts walking back down the street, past a man 
sitting on the stoop.  The man looks up.  It's Casanova Frankenstein.

				CASANOVA
		Going my way?

Furious is caught completely by surprise--he takes a stand, ready to 
fight.

				CASANOVA
		Take it easy--take it easy.  I just want to 
		have a little chat... That was quite a number 
		you did on my car.  You've got a lot of 
		violence in you... and I like that in a guy.

Furious, silent.

					CASANOVA
		You know what the difference is between good 
		and evil, Roy?

Furious reacts to the fact that Casanova knows his real name.

					CASANOVA
		Evil is more fun.  When you want something, you 
		just take it, and if somebody gets in your way, 
		you kill them... You seem like a very 
		frustrated guy, Roy.  Unhappy. Unfulfilled.  
		What is it that you've always wanted, always 
		desired?  Because whatever it is, I can give it 
		to you... Fame?
				(snaps his fingers)
		Easy.  Fortune?  Even easier. Women?
					(laughs)
		The easiest of all.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS as, out of the corner of his eye, he catches movement 
in the alley across the street... he knows what it is.

					CASANOVA
		I'll let you in on a little secret, Roy.  In 
		two days this entire city will belong to me, 
		and there's not a damn thing your little pals 
		can do about it.  It's the perfect time to 
		switch teams... So what do you say?

					FURIOUS
				     (quietly)
		You're nuts.

					CASANOVA
					(flairs)
		They always call the great ones nuts.

					FURIOUS
		And the nuts always call themselves great.

					CASANOVA
				(his psychosis showing)
		Are you with me... or against me?

					FURIOUS
		Against.

					CASANOVA
		Too bad.  PLUG HIM!

Gunfire rings out from the alley as the Disco Bays step out, their 
pistols blazing.  But Furious has anticipated them.  He leaps right at 
Casanova, pins his arms in a bear hug and holds him in the line of 
fire.

					CASANOVA
		WAIT!

The Disco BQys stop firing... Furious drags Casanova back into an empty 
lot, using him as a shield.

					FURIOUS
				   (to Casanova)
		Thanks for reminding me which team I'm on.

					CASANOVA
		You're dead.

					FURIOUS
		So are you!

Furious releases Casanova, then runs for it and leaps over the wooden 
wall at the end of the lot... as the Disco Boys open fire again, and 
their bullets punch holes through the wall...

Furious runs down a back street and escapes into the night.

EXT.  THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

The convoy drives up the hill toward an ominous looking structure (that 
we recognize from the model on the TV interview with Casanova earlier.)  
A high central tower rises up out of the half completed bulwarks of 
featureless concrete. It looks both totally modern and completely 
ancient, but a profound sense of evil connects both themes beautifully.

ANGLE ON a plaque that reads...  "Frankenstein Center for the 
Performing and Non-performing Arts".

The gates of the center open, and the convoy passes through.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - A NONENT LATER

Invisible Boy and the Spleen stand listening, waiting, as they feel the 
truck pull to a stop...

A moment later the gate is pulled opened... Anabel is there with 
several thuggy looking SECURITY GUARDS.

					ANABEL
		Be careful with my baby.

There are two lumps under the packing blankets again.

EXT.  LOADING DOCK - A FEW MINUTES LATER

The crate is being carried away by a forklift... A beat, and then 
Invisible Boy and the Spleen slip out of the empty truck...

And run down the road back toward the gates... which are still open.  
They're just about to pass safely through them, when a PAIR OF ARMED 
SECURITY GUARDS, step in their path, their guns pointed at thern.

					GUARD 1
		Freeze!

					GUARD 2
		Hands up!

They freeze, their hands held high.

					GUARD 2
		What are you two doing here?

Our heroes are mute.

					GUARD 1
		Not talking, eh?  That can be fixed.  Turn 
		around, start walking up the hill--

					GUARD 2
		And no funny business.

Invisible Boy and the Spleen turn, hands in the air, and start up the 
hill, the guards right behind them.

					SPLEEN
			(after a moment, to Invisible
				Boy, in a whisper)
		Pinch 'em.

Invisible Boy pinches his nostrils--and the Spleen lets out with a 
horrendous fart.  The guards gag and choke violently in the fumes as 
our heroes turn and run for it... escaping out the gates.

INT.  DOC KELLER'S LABORATORY/BARN - A LITTLE LATER

Invisible Boy and Spleen report to the others.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Whatever was in that crate... is from Russia.

The others consider this, then hear a familiar voice.

					FURIOUS (0.S.)
		Is there room in the pack for one more wolf?

They look up and see that Furious has just returned... The Sphinx moves 
to him.  For a moment they stand face to face...

					FURIOUS
		I was wrong... I need my friends.

Sphinx takes off his mask, revealing that he is the busboy from the 
Tacky Taco.

					SPHINX
		Amigo.

They embrace.

A few mimutes later.  The others are gathered around Furious, listening 
to his story.

					FURIOUS
		Casanova said that in two days the entire city 
		would belong to him... and there wasn't a thing 
		that we could do about it.

					BOWLER
		What did he mean?

					FURIOUS
		I dunno.

Through the window the moon is seen rising over the hillside, the 
Frankenstein Center silhouetted ominously against it. Raja, Shoveler, 
and Furious gaze at it.

					SHOVELER
		Maybe it's time we checked that place out.

					RAJA
		But how do we get in?

					FURIOUS
		(after a moment, sounding very Sphinx-like)
		We just become like the wolf... who wears the 
		sheep's clothing.

MONTAGE WITH MUSIC - THE NEXT DAY

CLASSIC DISCO ("Stayin' Alive" if we can get the rights)

Furious, Raja, and Shoveler (in street clothes) walk down the street 
together and step into the doorway of... the Salvation Army Thrift 
Shop...

Later.  CLOSE ON three pairs of legs, wearing polyester pants and 
vintage shoes (ala the classic shot from "Saturday Night Fever")... 
CAMERA WIDENS TO REVEAL our three heroes, dressed in full blown 
seventies attire (with vintage sunglasses), doing their best Travolta 
strut down the street...

MUSIC CONTINUES as our heroes strut their way through the gates of the 
art center, right past the security guards...

OUTSIDE THE CENTER - DAY

They climb the long stairs toward the center, which looms above them... 
then pass through the big wooden doors and into...

INT.  MAIN HALL - A MOMENT LATER

END MUSIC as our heroes move through a vast, but empty main hall... A 
small army of heavily armed security guards marches about.

					RAJA
		So where's the art?

					FURIOUS
		He hasn't stolen it yet.

					SHOVELER
		This place is built like a fortress.

					FURIOUS
		Because thats what it is.

They hear a WILD BURST OF DRUNKEN LAUGHTER echoing through the hall.

					RAJA
		What's that?

					FURIOUS
				(following the sound)
		Come on.

They approach a doorway.  The noise is coming from within.

INT.  BANQUET IIALL - A MOMENT LATER

as our heroes step inside and see... A big luncheon is in progress.  
Casanova, Anabel, and Tony P sit at the head table. The room is lined 
with banquet tables, which are filled with VICIOUS LOOKING CHARACTERS, 
drunk, eating, laughing, and giving the waitresses a very rough tim..

					RAJA
				    (stunned)
		Oh my God... Every crook in the city is here.

ON A GROUP OF VICIOUS LOOKING BALD BIKER TYPES...

					RAJA (O.S.)
		The Bone Heads from the South Side...

ON THREE INSIPIDLY EVIL LOOKING GUYS in hip suits...

					RAJA (O.S.)
		The Bland Boys from Downtown...

ON A DARK HAIRED WHITE GUY dressed as a rapper...

					RAJA (O.S.)
		Italian Ice...

ON A GUY with a frightening assortment of metal things piercing his 
face...

					RAJA (O.S.)
		The Stapler...

ON TWO THUGS DRESSED AS ELVIS...

					RAJA (0.S.)
		The Elvis Brothers.

A more degenerate group of criminals never sat down to lunch. Furious 
recognizes one of the waitresses...   It's Monica.

Casanova's got his eye on her, too, and he remembers her from the night 
before on the street with Furious.

ON ANABEL, noticing his interest.

Our heroes see Monica walking straight toward them. They turn away, 
lean against a wail, trying to be totally inconspicuous...

But as she passes them, not noticing them... Casanova approaches her.

					CASANOVA
		Excuse me.

She stops, turns to him, while our heroes listen in, only a few feet 
away...

					CASANOVA
				(reading her name tag)
		Monica... Beautiful name.  It suits you.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS, getting jealous.

					CASANOVA
		I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I 
		couldn't help but notice... that you're a dead 
		ringer for Veronica Lake in "The Blue Dahlia".

					MONICA
		Really?

Furious growls.  Raja gives him an elbow.

					CASANOVA
		Are you an actress?

					MONICA
		Just a waitress.

					CASANOVA
		You underestimate yourself.

Mister Furious is fuming.  The strands of his perfectly coiffed disco-
do start to stand straight up.

					CASANOVA
		You know I'm writing a play--it's just a little 
		Broadway thing, but thure's a part in it that I 
		think you'd be perfect for.

					MONICA
		Really?

					CASANOVA
		I'd love to hear you read it. Could you stick 
		around after the luncheon?

					MONICA
		Sure--I guess.

					CASANOVA
		Terrific.

She turns and walks into the kitchen.

CLOSE ON CASANOVA, watching her; his intentions are sinister...  He 
turns and sees... our heroes, hanging by the wall.

					CASANOVA
		What are you three doing here? This is invited 
		guests only.  Out.

Our heroes skulk out.

JUST OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes step out and breathe a sigh of relief.

					RAJA
		That was too close.

					SHOVELER
		But we gotta find out what's going on in there.

					FURIOUS
		Hey.

Furious has spotted... a large covered dessert table, waiting to be 
wheeled into the hall.

BACK IN THE BANQUET HALL - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as the dessert table is wheeled in... and in a CLOSER ANGLE, under the 
table cloth, we see three pairs of disco shoes creeping along...

A few minutes later, Monica steps up to the dessert table... Suddenly, 
she is yanked under.

UNDER THE TABLE - CONTINUOUS

Monica struggles, tries to cry out, but a hand is clamped firmly over 
her mouth.

					FURIOUS
		It's me.

She calms down, and he takes his hand off her mouth.

					MONICA
		What are you guys doing here?

				  RAJA & SHOVELER
		Shhhh!

The waitresses leave; the big doors to the dining room are swung 
closed, and the cigars are lit.  The meeting has begun. Casanova takes 
the podium.

					CASANOVA
		Thank you all for coming.  I hope you enjoy the 
		cigars.  I had to kill a dozen Cubans to get 
		them.

Tony P chuckles loudly, but the joke goes over like a lead balloon with 
the rest of the crowd.

					CASANOVA
		Twenty years ago, this town was yours!  AND I 
		WAS YOUR KING!

ON THE HOODS, listening, bored, puffing on their cigars; this is a sad 
old story.

					CASANOVA
				    (tragically)
		But they called me a psycho, and they put me 
		away.  For twenty years I rotted in my cell, 
		painting watercolors, writing haikus--just 
		waiting for the day I could take my revenge.  
		Well, brothers, that day has come!

ON OUR HEROES under the table, listening.  Monica begins to realize 
what's going on.

BACK TO CASANOVA -

					CASANOVA
		They thought I was crazy? Well the joke's on 
		them--because tonight at precisely midnight--on 
		the twentieth anniversary of my tragic arrest--
		every man, woman, and child in this city is 
		going to turn into a RAVING PSYCSOTIC!  Mothers 
		will murder their tots!  Old ladies will 
		strangle their cats!  Children will bump off 
		their babysitters!

The guests think Casanova's completely lost it.  Italian Ice speaks up.

					ITALIAN ICE
		You're outta your mind!

					CASANOVA
		I beg your pardon?

					ITALIAN ICE
		Nobody could drive a whole city crazy.

					CASANOVA
		Tell you what, Ice.  I'll mke you a friendly 
		little wager.  It I can't do it... you can blow 
		my brains out.  If I can, I'll blow out yours.

Now the hoods' interest has been perked.

					ITALIAN ICE
		Done.

					CASANOVA
			(to Anabel, with a smile)
		Honey, give the boys a taste.

Anabel puts on a pair of heavy duty sound deadening ear protectors, 
then presses a button on a small remote control device.

ANGLE ON A SPEAKER, placed above the podium... as the air is suddenly 
filled with a weird, stridulating, HORRIFIC NOISE (somewhere between 
the sound of a fire siren and a hornet trapped in your ear) and 
everyone in the room (except Anabel) goes COMPLETELY BERSERK...

CAMERA PANS the tables as the guests laugh dementedly, punching, 
gouging, strangling, and stabbing each other...

Under the serving table our heroes go crazy...

Casanova, in a state of psychotic ecstasy, whips out his pistol and 
empties it into Italian Ice... who drops to the floor, dead.

Anabel presses the button again; the sound winds down and stops, and 
everything returns to normal.  The entire event lasted only a few 
seconds, but the guests are dazzled.

					CROOKS
		That was great!... What the hell was that?... 
		How did you do that?

Casanova throws Anabel a kiss.

					CASANOVA
		Tonight, at midnight, that sound will be 
		amplified across this entire city.  Murder and 
		mayhem will reign supreme!  And Champion City 
		will be ours again!  This will be our castle!  
		And I will be our king!  And there's no one to 
		stop us!

Suddenly, a familiar voice is heard.

					AMAZING (O.S.)
		Not so fast, Casanova!

A pair of curtains suddenly part... and Captain Amazing (looking a bit 
singed) is standing there in classic superhero pose.

CAMERA PANS the crooks, as their criminal ecstasy turns instantly to 
terror.  They yank out their pistols, dive for cover under the table, 
throw up their hands in surrender, etc... But Casanova just grins.

					CASANOVA
		Don't worry, fellas...
			(moves to Captain Amazing, and
		puts his arm chummily around him)
		I killed him... and I've had him stuffed.

Casaova reaches behind Captain Amazing's back and pulls a string (like 
the ones they used to have on those old talking dolls).

					AMAZING
				(in a canned voice)
		Isn't my butt cute in these tights?
				   (pulls again)
		Blue is my color.
				   (pulls again)
		Oh, my abs are killing me!

The crooks are beside themselves with laughter.

ON OUR HEROES, under the table, stunned.

ON THE ELVIS BROTHERS -

					ELVIS BROTHER I
		The King is back!

					ELVIS BROTHER 2
		Long live the King!

The crooks fire their pistols exuberantly into the air, as disco music 
fills the air and Casanova dances, basking in their adoration...

And our heroes slip out from under the table and make good their 
escape...

INT.  DOC HELLER'S BARN/LAB - LATER

Our heroes and Monica pow-wow, sobered by what they have seen.

					MONICA
		What could have made such a horrible noise?

					HELLER
			  (after a moment, gravely)
		He's got the Psychostridulator.

					ALL
		The what?

					HELLER
		Ten years ago the Kremlin's top secret 
		Psychiatric Warfare Division developed a 
		prototype for a weapon that emitted a 
		fluctuating alternative frequency noise that 
		produced a violent psychotic reaction in any 
		mammal within hearing distance.  But when the 
		old Soviet Union fell the stridulator and its 
		brilliant inventor, Doctor Kopov, disappeared.

					SHOVELER
		This Kopov, what happened to him?

					HELLER
		Not him... her.

They react to that piece of news, and then the Bowler opens up the 
newspaper.

					BOWLER
		Did she look like that?

CLOSE ON A PHOTO of Anabel and Casanova, announcing their wedding 
engagement.

					HELLER
		Yes.

Silence; this is bad.

					SPLEEN
				    (hopefully)
		Maybe it won't work.

					FURIOUS
		It works.

					HELLER
		A village in Siberia was wiped out when a 
		cleaning woman switched it on by mistake.

Another grim silence, as they realize how desperate the situation is.  
For the first time, they're really scared.

					MONICA
		We've got to warn the city.

					SHOVELER
		How?

					RAJA
		No one will believe us.

					BOWLER
		They'll think we're just a bunch of weirdoes.

CAMERA CUTS BETWEEN THEM as they look at each other--their frightened 
faces, their sad, faded costuznes.  Even the Sphinx looks scared.

					FURIOUS
			   (after a moment, grimly)
		We know what we gotta do.

They look at him.

					RAJA
		We're outnumbered twenty to one.

					SHOVELER
		It's suicide.

					FURIOUS
		Maybe.  But this isn't about living or dying.  
		It's about good versus evil, and we're good, 
		whether we like it or not... Maybe we look a 
		little funny...

ON THE SPLEEN...

					FURIOUS
		And smell a little funny.  We're not 
		bulletproof and we can't fly. But we're 
		superheroes--and that means doing what's right-
		-even when it's impossible... This is our city-
		-these are our friends, our famlies--and if we 
		don't save them, nobody will!  So I say we take 
		a ride up that hill, blast our way in there, 
		destroy that Psycho-whatchamabob-- and teach 
		those deviants a lesson they'll never forget!

					SPHINX
		Now you're talking.

					BOWLER
		Sounds good to me.

					RAJA
		Let's do it.

					SHOVELER
		And we'll take a bunch of 'em with us!

They're all with him.  Monica steps forward.

					MONICA
		I just want you guys to know--I may not be a 
		superhero, but I'm with you--and I want to 
		help!

					ALL
		Oh that's great... Thanks, Monica...  (Etc.)

					BOWLER
		We could really use some coffee--

					SHOVELER
		And some sandwiches--

					SPLEEN
		With mustard!

					MONICA
			(her feelings a little hurt)
		Sure.

A few minutes later, Monica serves sandwiches and coffee as our heroes 
plan...

					RAJA
		But that place is huge and we don't know where 
		this psycho thing is--

					BOWLER
		Or even what it looks like.

					HELLER
		And he must have it well hidden.

					FURIOUS
		We'll just have to get lucky.

ON MONICA as she gets an idea.  A moment later she slips a canned 
tornado into her purse... as the others put their arms around each 
other in a group huddle\embrace.

					FURIOUS
		Go do what you gotta do.  We'll meet back here 
		at sunset... Do or die.

					ALL
		Do or die.

					SPHINX
		Victoria o morte.

HEROIC MUSIC as...

EXT.  AUTO DEMOLITION YARD - DAY - CLOSE ANGLE ON

THE FRONT GRILL of the Herkimer Battle Jitney... as Mister Furious 
hooks it up to the "Sally's Auto Demolition" tow truck... A moment 
later he drives the tow truck, towing the off the lot, as Sally steps 
out of her office, pissed off...

					SALLY
		HEY!

EXT.  HELLER'S FARM - DAY

ON THE SPHINX, standing as immobile and silent as a statue... as a 
falling leaf slowly flutters down in front of him... In a flash, his 
machete slices through the air, and the leaf continues fluttering down, 
but in two pieces...

INT.  LABORATORY/BARN - DAY

Doc Heller fine tunes his Shrinker spray... as the Bowler sits quietly 
in the hayloft, studying the old dog eared photo of her father and 
herself as a little girl...

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - DAY

Invisible Boy stands in front of his mirror, eyes closed, concentrating 
for all he's worth, trying to become invisible...  He suddenly pops 
opens his eyes and looks at himuself in the mirror... but he's still 
completely visible. He flops onto his bed in frustration.

INT.  THE DINER - DAY

CLOSE ON A TABLE full of food... Eggplant Parmesan, broccoli, chili... 
CAKERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL the Spleen sitting alone in the booth, 
stuffing his face, gassing up for battle.

INT.  THE SHOVELER'S HOUSE - DAY

The Shoveler, standing in his bedroom, has just put on his freshly 
laundered suit.  CAMERA OPENS WIDE TO REVEAL Lucille, his wife, 
standing there, holding his just polished shovel. He takes it from her, 
then takes her in his arms.

					SHOVELER
		Baby, if I don't make it... find yourself... a 
		normal guy.

					LUCILLE
		I don't want a normal guy.

And they kiss.

A few minutes later... In the living room the Shoveler's kids lie 
sprawled in front of the television.  The Shoveler, in battle array, 
steps into the room.  Be wants to say something to them, but the kids 
don't even take their eyes off the TV look at him... He turns and walks 
out in silence.

END MUSIC...

INT.  THE RAJA'S DINING ROOM - DAY

The shades are drawn.  The Raja, in full costume, quietly loads 
silverware into the secret pockets of his cape. Suddenly, the light 
switches on... It's his mother.  She's caught him red handed.

					MOTHER
		Jeffrey, YOU THIEF!

					RAJA
		Mother... it's not what you think!

					MOTHER
		And why are you wearing that silly costume?

					RAJA
				   (painfully)
		Because... I'M A SUPERHERO!

ON HIS MOTHER, shocked.

					RAJA
		Oh, Mother, I'm sorry.  I know how much you 
		wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer with a 
		family--but it's just not who I am!

					MOTHER
		But... the silverware?

					RAJA
		I use it... to fight evil.

					MOTHER
				(after a moment)
		Jeffrey... this is wonderful.

					RAJA
				    (stunned)
		It is?

					MOTHER
		I always knew that you were special.

					RAJA
		You did?

					MOTHER
		Ever since you were a little boy...
			(gets an idea, excited)
		Come with me.

INT.  UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - A MOMENT LATER

She pulls down the stairway to the attic...

INT.  THE ATTIC - A MOMENT LATER

She switches on the light and leads the Raja to a far corner...  where 
she moves a couple of old hat boxes, REVEALING an ancient leather bound 
box with the word "Excalibur" engraved in gold on the top.

					MOTHER
		This is for you.

The Raja opens the box and registers astonisha~nt as he sees...

A FABULOUS VICTORIAN SILVER SET packed with formidable looking servers, 
cake knives, ice cream forks.

					MOTHER
		Your Great Great Grandmother's wedding silver.

The Raja lifts up and handles a large heavily engraved pie server.

					RAJA
		Bitchin'.

EXT.  OUTSIDE HELLER'S BARN/LAB - EVENING - CLOSE ON

Mister Furious, wrench in hand, covered with grease and oil, cussing to 
himself as he works under the hood of the Herkimer.

					FURIOUS
		Try it again!

Invisible Boy, sitting behind the wheel, tries the ignition of the 
Herkimer, and the old engine grinds as it turns over, but doesn't 
catch.

					FURIOUS
		Come on, baby... Come on, baby... I SAID COME 
		ON!

Mister Furious SLUGS the engine with his fist, and it sputters and 
backfires into life... shaking, rattling, leaking, exploding, but 
running... Furious kisses the Herkimer... as the Bowler calls out to 
him from the barn.

					BOWLER
		Mon Capitan, it's for you.
				(tosses him the phone)

					FURIOUS
		Hello?

EXT.  UNKNOWN LOCATION - EVENING - CLOSE ON MONICA

					MONICA
			(on a phone, speaking very softly)
		It's me.

BACK TO FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

					FURIOUS
		Monica, where are you?

BACK TO MONICA - WIDER ANGLE

REVEALING that she is on a pay phone just outside the art center.  
She's wearing make-up and a sexy little dress; she looks she's dressed 
for a date.  Disco Boys and security guards go about their business all 
around her.

					MONICA
		At the Frankenstein Center.

CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THEM -

					FURIOUS
		Are you nuts?  Get out of there!

					MONICA
		I'm going inside.

					FURIOUS
		What are you talking about?

					MONICA
		Listen, Casanova may be a supervillain, but 
		he's got a weakness, and I'm it.  Maybe--just 
		maybe--I can trick him into showing me the 
		location of the whatchamathing.

					FURIOUS
		He's a psycho!  He'll kill you!

					MONICA
		Just shut up and listen.  Hold off the attack 
		as long as you can.  If I can discover the 
		location I'll call you--

					FURIOUS
		And what if you get killed?

					MONICA
		Then at least I will have died trying, right?

Furious silent, taken aback by her courage.

					MONICA
		Roy... We might never see each other again, so 
		I'd better tell you now...  I think you're 
		wonderful.

					FURIOUS
			(caught completely off guard)
		What?

					MONICA
		Bye.
				(and she hangs up)

					FURIOUS
		Monica!

INT.  LOBBY OF THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as Monica approaches a GUARD standing by the main door.

					MONICA
		Could you tell Mr. Frankenstein that Monica is 
		here?

					GUARD
		Sure, doll.

BACK TO THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

Furious stands by the Herkimer, phone still in hand.  He seems 
speechless, dazed.  Something inside him has changed.

					BOWLER
				(worried about him)
		Hey... you okay?

					FURIOUS
		Sure.

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - A FEW MINUTES LATER

Casanova steps out and sees... Monica, looking very sexy.

					MONICA
		Hi.

					CASANOVA
		I thought you'd chickened out on me.

					MONICA
		Just wanted to... powder my nose.

His eyes roam all over her; he knows she's up to something, but she 
looks yummy, and this is just the sort of cat and mouse game he loves.

					MONICA
		How 'bout giving me "the tour"?

					CASANOVA
		Why not?

EXT.  COURTYARD - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as Casanova leads Monica across an open courtyard toward... the sheer 
walls of the imposing central tower.

					CASANOVA
		Big, isn't it?

He leads her to a massive archway, the only apparent entrance to the 
tower.  But just as she is about to pass through, Monica looks up and 
sees something that makes her pull back with fear...

HER POV -

A very sinister looking SECURITY EYE gazes down at her from the top of 
the archway.

					CASANOVA
		Don't worry.  It's not activated.

They pass through and into...

INT.  ROOM IN THE BASE OF TOWER - CONTINUOUS

which is filled with IMMENSE BRONZE SCULPTURES of voluptuous, scantily 
clad females in various poses of bondage.  Monica reacts; these things 
are scary.

					MONICA
		Who's the artist?

					CASANOVA
		Me.

EXT.  THE BARN/LAB - NIGHT

The Bowler, Spleen, Invisible Boy, and Doc Heller load up the Herkimer 
with Heller's weaponry...

as Mister Furious lies sprawled on the hillside... breathing in the 
night air, contemplating a dandelion gone to seed, and listening to the 
sounds of the night.  The Raja, Shoveler, and Sphinx, stand nearby, 
watching, trying to figure out what's wrong with him.  A whippoorwill 
is heard singing.

					FURIOUS
		Listen.  He's lonely... and he doesn't care who 
		knows it.

Raja and Shoveler share a bewildered look.  The bird sings again.

					FURIOUS
		We're all the same really.  Our songs, our 
		dreams, our seeds are all just a brave attempt 
		to live forever.
			(blows the dandelion seeds into the wind)

					SPHINX
		He is in love.  His anger is gone.

					RAJA
		Oh no.

					SHOVELER
		Great timing!
	
					FURIOUS
		Has Monica called?

INT.  TOP OF THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova leads Monica into... a palatial room, filled with priceless 
objects d'art, all of which reflect Casanova's dark psyche.  A Munch 
painting.  Mayan idols.  Weird German furniture.  A huge glass 
chandelier hovers over the room.  A massive bronze sculpture of a wolf 
(done in the same style as the other sculptures) is perched in the 
balcony.  It seems to be howling out over the city which is seen in a 
spectacular view, spread out alonq the lakeshore below.

					CASANOVA
		This is where I come to... be alone.

He turns down the lights and quietly closes and locks the big door to 
the room.

CLOSE ON MONICA, sensing her danger.

					MONICA
		Oh, look at that view.

She moves out onto the balcony... as Casanova slips the gold chain from 
around his neck and follows her.

INT.  BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes have gathered around Furious, who sits in a chair, getting 
the third degree.

					HELLER
		Snap out of it!

					BOWLER
		Get on to yourself!

					SHOVELER
			(shouting right in his face)
		GET MAD!

					FURIOUS
		But I just don't feel it.

					RAJA
		He's turned into a completely normal person!

					FURIOUS
		Normal.  What's normal?  Does normal exist?  
		And if it did, how would we know it?

The Shoveler slugs him, sending him sprawling.

					FURIOUS
		You know, Eddie, that was really uncalled for.

EXT.  BALCONY ON FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - ON MONICA

gazing out onto the city, as she senses Casanova slinking up behind 
her.

					MONICA
		I'm chilly.

She turns, elegantly avoiding him, and moving back inside.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Spleen holds up Furious' favorite sunglasses.

					SPLEEN
		Look!  Your favorite sunglasses!
				(snaps them in two)

					BOWLER
		Your Roy Rogers coffee mug!
			(hurls it against the wall)

					SHOVELER
		Your Spiderman Pez dispenser!
			    (breaks the head off it)

					FURIOUS
		Okay, you win.  I'm pissed off. I'm seriously 
		peeved.

The others groan with frustration.

BACK AT THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Monica moves nervously around the room as Casanova sprawls languorously 
on the bed, toying with his gold chain.

					CASANOVA
		Come here.

					MONICA
		I'm not that kind of girl.

					CASANOVA
		Then why are you here?

					MONICA
		Curiosity.

					CASANOVA
				   (with a smile)
		Remember the cat.

Suddenly, he hears high heels in the hall.  A key is put in the lock--
Casanova leaps off the bed, grabs Monica and roughly shoves her into 
the closet.  He leaps back onto the bed, just as the door opens, and 
Anabel, dressed in a lab coat (and wearing high heels) enters.  
Casanova is completely relaxed, nonchalant.

					ANABEL
		What are you doing all alone in the dark?

					CASANOVA
		Fantasizing... about you.

She crosses the room to the wolf sculpture.

					CASANOVA
		I thought you were done?

					ANABEL
		One last tweak.

She opens a secret panel on its back, REVEALNG a FLASHING HIGH TECH 
INTERIOR... and Monica, watching from the closet, realizes that she has 
found the Psychostridulator.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON

a boom box... A CD jacket tells us that "Kenny G." is playing...

					RAJA
		If this doesn't do it, nothing will!

ON FURIOUS, a pair of headphones on his head.  The music is so loud 
that we can hear it even though it's being played only through the 
headphones.

ON THE OTHERS, gathered around him, waiting to see if this will work.  
And then Furious begins to respond... as his face turns into a 
contorted grimace.

					BOWLER
		It's working!

Furious groans and writhes... The others are thrilled; they've done it!

					FURIOUS
		This music is just SO BEAUTIFUL!

He starts to weep.  The others give a collective groan of defeat.

BACK AT THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - COHTINUOUS

as Anabel works on the Psychostridulator, Monica looks at a clock... 
which reads almost eleven.  Time is running out.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CLOSE ON SHOVELER'S WRISTWATCH

which also reads eleven.

0N SHOVELER AND RAJA -

					SHOVELER
		It's time.

					RAJA
		With or without him, we gotta go!

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER -

as Anabel closes up the wolf... and starts to leave.

					ANABEL
		Our guests are waiting.

					CASANOVA
		I'll be down in a jiffy.

She goes out.  Casanova listens as the sound of high heels fades away, 
then he goes to the closet and lets Monica out.

					MONICA
		I'd better go.

					CASANOVA
		You're a spy.

					MONICA
				    (offguard)
		What?

					CASANOVA
		I saw him walk you home.

					MONICA
		Who?

					CASANOVA
		Roy.

She makes a sudden try for the door, but he blocks her way, a cold look 
in his eye that makes her step back in fear.

					CASANOVA
		Don't be afraid... I never hit a lady...

He lets the gold chain drop loose in his hand, then starts coming for 
her, a sadistic grin on his face.  This is the real Casanova.

Monica pulls back, then reaches into her purse and takes out A CANNED 
TORNADO, which she holds out threateningly.

					MONICA
		Stay away!

					CASANOVA
		Or you'll what?  CAN ME?

He laughs dementedly as Monica pops open the can and A SWIRLING FUNNEL 
OF AIR SHOOTS OUT OF IT and ENGULFS Casanova, throwing him across the 
room... Monica grabs the handset of a cordless phone and runs out the 
door.

ON CASANOVA, pulling himself together.

					CASANOVA
		That bitch!

INT.  CORRIDOR JUST OUTSIDE - CONTINUOUS

as Monica runs for it, dialing the phone on the fly...

INT.  TEE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS - ON THE PUONE

ringing... but no one is there...

EXT.  THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes are climbing into the Herkimar, whose noisy idling engine 
obliterates the ringing of the phone.

					FURIOUS
		But she still might call!

					SHOVELER
		Are you coming or not?

					FURIOUS
		I'll drive.

					SHOVELER
		Not a chance!

He shoves him in the back, closing the heavy steel door behind him.

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON MONICA

hiding behind a large planter... listening to the phone ringing on the 
other end.

					MONICA
		Come on, guys... Pick up... 

Suddenly, we hear Casanova's voice on the line.

				CASANOVA'S VOICE
		What's the matter...

BACK IN THE TOWER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Casanova is listening in on another phone.

					CASANOVA
		Nobody home?

BACK TO M0NICA - CONTINUOUS

as she moves quickly down the hall.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

The Shoveler is at the wheel.  The Raja sits in the passenger seat.  
The others are in the back.

					SHOVELER
		Here we go!

He forces the stick into gear and the Herkimer lurches forward.

					SHOVELER
		We've got lift off!

					RAJA
		May the forks be with us!

EXT.  DOC HELLER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer--backfiring, smoking, clanging--rumbles down the 
driveway into action.

BACK IN THE HERKINER - CONTINUOUS

Shoveler tries to put the car in second gear, but it won't go. He yanks 
and pulls and struggles, until the stick comes off in his hand.

					RAJA
		First is good.

INT.  CORRIDOR IN FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova instructs three security guards.

					CASANOVA
		I want her alive.

					GUARDS
		Yes, Mr. Frankenstein.

CAMERA PANS UP the top of a staircase... where Monica is crouched, 
listening.

EXT.  STREETS OF CHAMPION CITY - NIGHT

VARIOUS SHOTS as the Herkimer rumbles and smokes down Champion's main 
street (in first gear) and the citizens step out of houses and bars to 
watch this bizarre sight.

ON A LITTLE BOY AND HIS FATHER -

					LITTLE BOY
		Daddy, what is that thing?

					FATHER
		I don't know, son.

A couple of GRIZZLED CHARACTERS stand in front of a bar.

					DRUNK
		A Herkimer?  Those yuppies will drive anything.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

ON FURIOUS AND THE OTHERS in the back.

					SPHINX
		Amigo, we need you.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Just GET MAD!

Furious closes his eyes and tries, but it's hopeless.

INT.  V.I.P. LOUNGE IN FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

A sumptuous, hotel-like lounge.  Anabel is holding court with all of 
top crooks from the luncheon, charrning the pants off them... Casanova 
slithers up behind her.

					CASANOVA
		Fellas, this is woman without whom I would have 
		gone sane.
				(kisses her neck)

EXT.  FRONT GATE OF THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

A pair of security guards (the same two who got gassed by the Spleen) 
are on duty, when they see... a strange looking vehicle chugging up the 
hill straight for them.

					GUARD 1
		What the hell is that?

					GUARD 2
		Looks like... a Ford Dumpster.

They have a good laugh at it, then hold up their hands for it to 
stop...  But the Herkimer just rolls past them, hitting the iron gates 
and snapping them open as if they were made of match sticks.

					GUARDS
		HEY!

They open fire.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

Bullets are heard pinging off the Herk as THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD just 
ahead we see the long stairway heading up to the front door of the art 
center.

					SHOVELER
		Hang on!

EXT.  ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

Several more guards open fire, as the Herkimer hits the stairs and 
starts bouncing up them...

BACK AT THE LOUNGE - ON CASANOVA

checking his watch.

					CASANOVA
		It's showtime.

But then they all hear... the sound of gunfire.

					TONY P
		What's that?

BACK ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer chugs and bounces... toward the entrance of the center.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes get bounced all over the place.

INT.  JUST INSIDE THE CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as guards close and bolt the big wooden doors to the art center.

ON A GUARD wearing a headset.

					GUARD
		Mr. Frankenstein, we're being attacked.

INT.  SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS

Casanova sits at a security console.  Anabel, Tony P, and the top 
crooks stand behind him, listening.

					CASANOVA
		By whom?

					VOICE OF GUARD
		We don't know!

BACK ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer climbs to the top, then rams into the doors with a 
thud.  But the doors hold.

BACK ON THE VILLAINS -

					TONY P
		They'll never get through those doors.

BACK AT THE FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS

But the plucky little Herkimer digs in its rear wheels and pushes 
against the doors like the Little Engine That Could...

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes encourage the Herk.

					SHOVELER
		Come on, baby!

					BOWLER
		Do it, big boy!

ON ITS WHEELS, grinding, chewing up the concrete... 

JUST INSIDE THE CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer comes crunching through the big wooden doors of the 
center, scattering the guards.

BACK INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

our heroes cheer, pat the Herk.

					SHOVELER
		Atta, girl!

					BOWLER
		Atta, boy!

BACK TO CASANOVA -

watching on a security monitor

					VOICE OF GUARD
		Mr. Frankenstein, they're in!

					CASANOVA
		Well kill them.

BACK IN THE HALL - CONTINUOUS

The Herkimer drives into the main hall of the center as a small army of 
security guards swarms in, guns blazing.

BACK AT THE SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and the crooks watch the security monitor...

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

The bullets sound like hailstones bouncing off the armor of the Herk as 
our heroes grimly prepare themselves for battle...The Sphinxs puts on 
his mask... the Bowler unzips her bag...Doc Heller cocks his air 
cannon... Spleen and Invisible Boy load a bag with canned tornadoes... 
While Mister Furious watches anxiously.

The Shoveler drives intently, bullets splattering like bugs on the 
windshield.

					SHOVELER
		Where am I going?

					RAJA
			(pointing to an archway on the
				other side of the hall)
		Through there!

					SHOVELER
		Right.

But suddenly something under the hood blows up; the engine gives a long 
groan, and the Herkimer rolls to a dead stop...

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE HERIKINER - CONTINUOUS

Right in the middle, in the most exposed position of the main hall.  
More guards arrive and open fire... An armored golf cart with a fifty 
caliber machine gun mounted on it comes speeding into the hall, 
blasting the Herk...

Inside, the sound of the big bullets is deafening as Shoveler tries to 
restart the engine.

					SHOVELER
		No good!  She's dead!

ON CASANOVA AND THE CROOKS, watching the monitor and laughing as 
bullets pulverize the Herk.

					TONY P
		Spam in a can!

The crooks laugh.

Butsuddenly, the Herkimer's door is thrown open, revealing our heroes--
holding down Doc Heller, his air cannon at the ready. He fires--there 
is a WHOOMPH of air--and the mounted gun and a dozen guards are sent 
tumbling...

SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA AND THE OTHERS

watching, sobered.

BACK IN THE MAIN HALL - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes come charging out of the Herkimer, using their various 
skills to blow through the surprised guards.  Mr. Furious comes out 
last, not quite sure what to do with himself.

But suddenly, a withering barrage of machine gun fire is being laid 
down on them by three guards firing tommy guns from a balcony 
overlooking the floor.  Bullets splatter all around them--and several 
unlucky guards are hit--but our heroes dive for cover. The Raja tries 
to get off a fork, but the firing is too intense.  Our heroes are 
pinned down.

ON MR. FURIOUS as he sees... the bag of canned tornadoes. He's got no 
superpowers, and he's scared to death, but he grabs a canned tornado.

					FURIOUS
		Cover me!

					SHOVELER
		With what?

Bullets dancing all around him, Furious runs a desperate (but 
impressive) zig-zag pattern across the floor... He performs a wild 
somersault, comes up on his feet, pops open the can, and executes a 
perfect jump shot, lobbing it right into the balcony.  The tornado 
funnels out, and the guards are sent flying.

ON CASANOVA AND THE TOP CROOKS watching...

					ELVIS BROTHER 1
		Who are those guys?

CLOSE ON CASANOVA, who knows who they are.

WHILE BACK IN THE HALL our heroes rally around a shaken Mr. Furious.

					RAJA
		Not bad for a normal guy!

					SPHINX
		Amigos!

					ALL
		Do or die!

EXT.  COURTYARD - A MOMENT LATER - ANGLE ON

the security eye watching...

as the panicking security guards retreat under it into the main tower.

BACK TO CASANOVA -

as he types something into the security computer...

ON THE SCREEN a computerized image of the eye appears. Casanova 
highlights the word "Activate" and then presses "Enter".

BACK TO THE COURTYARD - ON THE EYE

as it comes to glowing, sinister life...

A hapless guard retreats under the arch--the Eye instantly focuses on 
him, and he is hit by a dozen nasty looking laser beams... that SIZZLE 
HIM...

A moment later our heroes arrive at the arch.  Furious is about to run 
through, but Doc Heller holds him back.

					HELLER
		Wait!  Look!

He points to... a man shaped pile of charcoal, all that remains of the 
unfortunate guard.

					HELLER
		Laser eye... and it's a humdinger.

					RAJA
		No problem.

The Raja takes out a butter knife, aims, and hurls it straight at the 
eye, but laser beams intercept the knife and instantly melt it into... 
a formless blob of silver.

BACK TO CASANOVA AND THE TOP CROOKS -

					TONY P
		We'll take care of these clowns.

					ELVIS BROTHER 2
		Piece a cake.

					BONE HEAD LEADER
		No sweat.

CORRIDOR - A MOMENT LATER

as Tony P, the top crooks, and the Disco Boys march en masse TOWARD THE 
CAMAERA... They are an ugly, formidable looking bunch.

EXT.  COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes are blocked by the eye.

					SHOVELER
		Doc, there's got to be a way.

But the Doc is stymied... Suddenly they hear a woman's voice calling 
down to them.

					MONICA'S VOICE
		It's up here!  It's up here!

					FURIOUS
				     (looks up)
		Monica!

EXT.  TOP OF THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Monica leans over the edge of the balcony, the wolf sculpture looming 
over her, shouting down at them.

					MONICA
		ROY!  THE PSYCHO THING IS--!

But strong hands suddenly grab her.  It's Casanova.

BACK TO FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

as high above he hears Monica scream.

BACK TO THE BALCONY - CONTINUOUS

Casanova, hand held tightly across Monica's mouth, shouts down 
tauntingly to Furious.

					CASANOVA
		Thanks, Roy!  She's just my type. You can have 
		her back... when I'm done!

BACK T0 FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

as he hears Casanova's evil laugh and Monica's scream.  He is desperate 
to find a way up, but the wall is completely sheer. He feels helpless-
frantic, near tears...

FLASH TO the terrified little boy trapped in the back of his p8arents' 
car, crying, pounding on the windows...

And then... Mr. Furious' hands clench into fists--his hair stands up--
and his face turns into a mask of primordial rage. His button has 
finally been pressed.  Be's MAD!  He reaches up as high as he can...

CLOSE ON HIS HAND -

as his fingers literally dig into the concrete of the wall... and he 
pulls himself up.

BACK AT THE TOP 0F THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova throws Monica onto the bed, puts his hands on her throat and 
strangles her as she thrashes helplessly against his immense strength.

BACK TO FURIOUS -

Fifty feet up and climbing.  He pulls himself up, one hand, then 
another, digging in his fingernails, catchng his toes on whatever tiny 
cracks he can find... as the others gaze up at him.

					HELLER
		He'll never make it.

					BOWLER
		Think positive.

Meanwhile, Invisible Boy stands staring at the security eye, a look of 
fierce determination on his face.  This is his moment.

					INVISIBLE BOY
					(to himself)
		I can do it.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and concentrates...

ON FURIOUS as the fingers of one hand lose their grip and a toehold 
gives way... For a desperate moment, Furious is dangling off the wall 
by the tips of the fingers of one hand. Only his incredible rage keeps 
his fingertips taut.

Suddenly, there is a flash of silver, and a large cake fork embeds in 
the concrete not far from his head.  Furious grabs hold of it, and 
throws a grateful look down to the Raja...

Who salaams up at him...

As Invisible Boy, eyes closed in concentration, walks very slowly, 
hands at his sides, in an almost Egyptian pose... toward the eye... 
which stares down mercilessly, waiting for its next victim...

we notice that Invisible Boy has become... just slightly transparent.

AT THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

a look of pleasure on his face as he strangles Monica.  Her resistance 
fades.  Her hands fall away.  She is pale, beautiful, almost gone, a 
picture of exquisite death.

					CASANOVA
				   (admiring her)
		Some girls just know how to die.

Suddenly, we hear someone cursing Casanova in Russian. He turns and 
sees... Anabel standing there, pistol in hand.

					ANABEL
		You two timing psychotic bastard.

					CASANOVA
		Darling, you've got the wrong idea.

					ANABEL
				(aiming at his heart)
		Do I?

					CASANOVA
		I was only strangling her... I've killed hundreds of women.  
		It doesn't mean a thing.
				(moving toward her, turning on
				that old Frankenstein Charm)
		Pootchkie, you're over-reacting. This is our 
		night.  It's what we've lied for... cheated 
		for... murdered for.  She's just a plaything, a 
		trifle... You're the only woman who's ever 
		meant anything to me. I adore you.  I worship 
		you.  I want to make you my bride.

She succumbs to his charms, and he gently takes the pistol out of her 
hand.

					CASANOVA
		There's just one thing...
				(with a psychotic smile)
		I don't need you anymore.

A look of terror comes across her face as she sees the murder in his 
eyes.

					CASANOVA
		Don't worry, Darling.  I never hit a lady.

EXT.  ON THE WALL - A MOMENT LATER - ON FURIOUS

still climbing as he hears a scream, looks up... and sees Anabel go 
plummeting past him.

ON OUR HEROES down below.

					BOWLER
		Heads up!

CAMERA HOLDS ON OUR HEROES, wincing as Anabel hits with an ugly thud.

Suddenly they hear Invisible Boy calling to them.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Guys, I did it! I did it!  I'm invisible!

They all turn and see... Invisible Boy, totally visible, but standing 
on the other side of the arch.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Can you see me?

					ALL
		Yes!

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Nuts.

					SHOVELER
		Kid, turn that thing off!

Invisible Boy turns and sees... a computer screen built into the wall 
(with the same image of the eye on it that was on Casanova's computer), 
but he doesn't have a clue how to turn it off.  Suddenly, he hears 
running feet, turns and sees...

The top crooks and the Disco Boys rushing towards him through the giant 
sculptures.  He gets an idea... and stands right in front of the 
computer screen.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		HEY! CREEPS!

He makes a face at them--and a dozen guns are instantly fired at him.  
He jumps clear behind a pillar--as the bullets smash into the wall... 
one of them demolishing the computer screen.

CLOSE ON THE EYE -

as it goes dead.

ON INVISIBLE BOY, hiding behind the pillar... realizing he's been shot 
in the shoulder.

BACK ON OUR HEROES -

					SHOVELER
		This is it!  DO OR DIE!

The villains form a line, bristling with pistols... as our heroes, led 
by Sphinx, Shoveler, and Bowler come running through the arch.  The 
threesome go shoulder to shoulder (with our other heroes right behind 
them) as the villains open fire, laying down a deadly fusillade...

ON SHOVELER, BOWLER, AND SPHINX, standing together, deflecting their 
bullets with shovel, bowling ball, and machete... (as they practiced 
with pebbles at the farm)... with the Raja right behind them, hurling 
silverware...

ON THE VILLAINS, rapid firing... but their own bullets ricochet back 
into them, dropping them... They start to fall back.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova is about to finish Monica.

					CASANOVA
		And the light goes out...

					FURIOUS (0.S.)
		Frankenstein!

Casanova turns and sees... Furious, standing on the balcony.

					CASANOVA
		Roy... What took you so long?

Furious starts at Casanova, who aims Anabel's pistol at him. Furious 
hesitates.

					CASANOVA
		Let me guess... Bullets don't hurt you.

					FURIOUS
		They hurt... BUT THEY DON'T STOP ME!

Furious lunges at Casanova--who gets off a shot before Furious grabs 
the gun out of his hand.  Casanova ducks clear.  Furious tosses the 
pistol away... then realizes he's bleeding from a shoulder wound.

					CASANOVA
		Smarts, doesn't it?... Shall we dance?

He turns on his stereo and the sound of DISCO MUSIC fills the air...

INTERCUT BETWEEN THE TWO FIGHTS - CONTINUOUS

Downstairs, the villains have regrouped.

					TONY P
		Let's rush 'em!

They charge en mass at our heroes... who are waiting for them... 
pinching their noses closed, the Spleen bent over at their forefront...

While Casanova dances around Furious like a cat... Furious, fighting 
the pain of his bullet wound, lunges at him, and Casanova neatly 
sidesteps him...

The crooks and Disco Boys fall back, gasping, choking in the noxious 
fumes...

As Casanova attacks...

Advancing shoulder to shoulder, fighting as a team, our heroes wield 
machete, fork, shovel, bowling ball, and canned tornado... forcing the 
villains back...

Casanova comes at Furious relentlessly, kicking and spinning...  and 
Furious gets the worst of it.

Suddenly, a squad of Disco Boys comes charging at our heroes from the 
flank... but Doc Heller turns to face them, shrinker spray held Rambo-
style on his hip.  He lets them have it, blasting them with a DENSE 
BLUE SPRAY...

When the spray clears, the D Boys lie squirming on the floor, prisoners 
in their now child sized disco suits...

					DISCO BOYS
		Help!... Get me out of this!
				        (Etc.)

Upstairs, Casanova pummels Furious...

While, downstairs, the Shoveler dispatches the Elvis Brothers with some 
nifty shovel work... But suddenly, the Bland Boys, pistols blazing, are 
advancing on him, forcing him back against the base of a sculpture.  
But the Raja suddenly leaps up onto the sculpture.

					RAJA (0.S.)
		Gentlemen!

The Bland Boys look up and see... the Raja, both hands filled with 
silverware... which he HURLS...

A beat later the Bland Boys, bristling with forks and grapefruit 
spoons, run screaming through the sculptures... as Tony P, pistol in 
hand, skulks out from behind a sculpture and spots... the Bowler.

Upstairs, Furious goes flying against a wall...

					CASANOVA
		Roy, you're making this too easy.

As Tony P takes a careful bead on the Bowler.

					TONY P
		Say hello to Daddy for me!

He opens fire, but she goes instantly into her ball svinging frenzy... 
He fires, missing--she's too fast to keep a bead on... Finally, his gun 
clicks empty.  She turns and faces him.

					BOWLER
				     (grimly)
		Daddy says hello.

She HURLS the ball at him--like a fiery softball pitch.

BALL'S POV -

going straight for Tony P's SCREAMING head...

ON THE BOWLER, watching--as Tony's scream is cut short by a gruesose 
thud.

Back upstairs Casanova cornmes at Furious again... but Furious ducks 
the kick, pops back up and smashes Casanova with his good arm... 
sending him flying across the room... Casanova recovers.

					CASANOVA
		Let's change the tune.

He reaches into his pocket and takes out the remote device (that Anabel 
used at the luncheon).  He presses a button...

ON THE WOLF SCULPTURE as the jaws open, its eyes glow red... and the 
dreadful sound of the Psychostridulator grinds up and FILLS THE NIGHT 
AIR LIKE A SIREN.

Downstairs, the foul noise fills the room and our heroes and the 
villains all go into a full blown psychotic episode... The villains 
start shooting and stabbing each other.

SERIES OF SHOTS - AROUND THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

On Main Street cars slam into each other.  Pedestrians start screaming 
and fightinq... A man and his dog snarl and snap at each other...

The Customers at the Lakeside Diner go insane, hurling plates and 
food...

At the Shoveler's house the kids turn psycho in front of the 
television...

ANGLE ON A TYPICAL SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD -

as the sounds of screaming and smashing dishes and furniture can be 
heard coming from all the houses...

LONG ANGLE OF CHAMPION CITY -

as a din of collective insanity rises up from the city...

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

in full psychotic ecstasy...

					CASANOVA
		WHAT A RUSH!
			(tosses the remote off the balcony)

ON MONICA, still motionless on the bed...

Casanova and Furious collide in the center of the room and grapple in a 
contest of psychotically enhanced superhuman strength... Casanova gets 
his hands around Furious's throat and crushes it... Furious drops to 
his knees, and Casanova thinks he's got him.  But Furious, grimacing 
with rage, looks him right in the eye.

					FURIOUS
				   (raspy voiced)
		Is... that... all you got?

Furious grabs Casanova's wrists... and crushes them.  Casanova howls 
with pain, loses his grip.  Furious slugs him, again and again... then 
he grabs Casanova by the belt, swings him around, and HURLS him into 
the air...

Casanova CRASHES into the huge crystal chandelier--there is an 
explosion of crystal and glass.  Furious averts his eyes as cut glass 
rains down all around him... then he looks up and sees...

Casanova's gold chain has hooked onto a fixture of the chandelier.  
Casanova kicks and flails... as he is hanged by the neck on his own 
gold chain...

Furious moves to the wolf sculpture.  Be PLUNGES HIS HAND through its 
bronze casing, and RIPS OUT the heart of the Psychostridulator, a 
flashing football sized device that gives off an unamplifjed, but 
higher pitched and more irritating sound...

Furious HURLS the device hard against the floor, and it smashes into a 
thousand pieces...

CLOSE ON ONE OF THE PIECES -

In insect sized device that gives off an even higher pitched, even more 
disorienting sound.  This is the very nerve center of the 
Psychostridulator...

Furious lifts his foot and crushes it hard under his heel...

SILENCE...

Furious drops to his knees, wounded, exhausted... He looks up... at 
Casanova, who dangles lifelessly off the chandelier...

					FURIOUS
		Nice dancing with you.

SERIES OF SHOTS - VARIOUS LOCATIONS - CONTINUOUS

as our other heroes return to their senses amidst the vanquished 
crooks... the traumatized reunants of whom run for it. Things also 
return to normal...

On the street...

At the Lakeside Diner...

And at the Shoveler's house...

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Furious moves to the bed, where Monica lies motionless and pale...

					FURIOUS
		Monica...

He touches her face, her eyes open, and she looks at him.

					MONICA
		You're beautiful when you're angry.

He takes her tenderly in his arm... as the Raja, the Shoveler and the 
others rush into the room and see... Furious and Monica embracing.

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - A LITTLE LATER

Police cars and news vans arrive... as our heroes, battered, wounded, 
but victorious walk proudly down the long stairs...

Furious and Monica hold each other up.  Wounded Invisible Boy has his 
arm around the Spleen... while policemen and news people run up the 
stairs past them into the center, ignoring them as always...

But this time our heroes could care less.  They are superheroes, and 
they don't give a damn who knows it.

INT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

as the Raja opens the door and enters...

					RAJA
		Mama!

She is there, waiting up for him.

					RAJA
		I'm home.

They embrace.

INT. SHOVELER'S DOUSE - NIGHT - CLOSE ON A TV SCREEN

Don Stouffer is reporting.

					DON
		Few details have emerged...

ON THE SHOVELER'S KIDS, on the couch, still rattled by their psychotic 
episode, glued to the TV -

					DON (0.S.)
		...but the Dawn Patrol got this exclusive 
		interview vith two of the suspects.

ON THE TV -

Dawn Wong interviews the battered, handcuffed Elvis Brothers as they 
are led away...

					ELVIS BROTHER I
		I don't know who those guys were--but I never 
		want to see 'em again.

					ELVIS BROTHER 2
		Especially that big dude with the shovel...

					ELVIS BROTHER 1
					 (near tears)
		He was the worst!

ON THE KIDS' COLLECTIVE REACTION as they realize who it was... and then 
they hear the front door open...

In the front hall the Shoveler enters wearily; his shoulder hurts, his 
back is killing him... as his kids come running to him.

					KIDS
		Dad!... Dad!... You okay?... You hurt?

					SHOVELER
			   (shocked by this welcome)
		I'm okay--I'm all right.

					EDDIE JR.
		Lean on me, Dad.

					LENORE
		I'll hold your shovel, Dad.

They lead him back into the living room, and give him the prime spot on 
the couch.

					BUTCH
		You want a soda, Dad?

					SHOVELER
					(stunned)
		Okay.

He runs to get it as Eddie Jr. slides a footstool under his feet and 
Tracy puts a pillow behind his back.  Roland, the little one, cuddles 
up next to him, puts his arm around him.

					ROLAND
		Nice work. Dad.

					SHOVELER
		Thanks, Roland.

					ROLAND
		You really are a superhero, aren't you?

The Shoveler nods.  A few minutes later... The Shoveler sits on the 
couch, feet up, soda in hand. The television is off. His kids all 
huddled around him, hanging on his every word.

					SHOVELER
		And that's when the engine blew up.

					KIDS
		Whoa...

					BUTCH
		What did you do?

					SHOVELER
		Well...

ON LUCILLE as she comes in and sees... her husband surrounded by his 
kids, a happy man at last.

EXT.  LAKESIDE DINER - THE NEXT NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

INT. THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - ON THE SPLEEN

sitting between the Bowler and a bandaged Invisible Boy. The Bowler has 
her arm chummily around the Spleen's shoulder. The Spleen finally has 
real friends. Doc Heller discusses the art of fork throwing with the 
Raja as the Shoveler listens in. The Sphinx sits at the end of the 
table, silent.

					DOC HELLER
		So you're never actually conscious of range or 
		trajectory?

					RAJA
		Heck no.  I just chuck 'em.

Monica (in her waitress outfit) sits close to a bandaged Mister 
Furious.

ON THE TV -

Dawn Wong reports.

					DAWN
		It's been twenty-four hours since the deadly 
		psycho-sonic attack and bloody shoot-out that 
		left Casanova Frankenstein and dozen of the 
		city's top hoodlums dead... But tonight the 
		question remains... Who were these heroic 
		mystery men who saved our city?...

ON OUR HEROES -

					BOWLER
		Could have been anybody.

They laugh.

					RAJA
		Wait a minute... That's it.  That's our name.  
		We're... the Mystery Men.

They all like it, except for the Bowler.

					BOWLER
		Hey, do I look like a Man?

					SHOVELER
		Well we can't call ourselves the Mystery People.

					SPLEEN
			(singing, ala "Macho Man")
		Mystery, Mystery Man... I want to be a Mystery 
		Man...

		  		  SHOVELER & RAJA
		Shut up.

					BOWLER
		Eat your mustard.

					FURIOUS
		It doesn't matter what we call ourselves.  We 
		know who we are.

					RAJA
		Yes, Obie-wan.

					INVISIBLE BOY
		Hey... he's gone.

The others see... that the Sphinx's chair is empty.  Raja spots a 
crumpled napkin on the table, opens it up, and reads.

					RAJA
		"Until you need me again... Adios."

A silence... Reactions from our heroes as they realize that the Sphinx 
is gone...

					SHOVELER
		I miss him already.

Suddenly, somewhere in the night, a burst of gunfire and screams are 
heard.  THE FINAL MUSIC BEGINS...

					FURIOUS
		Amigos, duty calls.

The Mystery Men wolf their burgers, then stand and start for the 
street...

As Monica watches them leave, a PATRON asks her:

					PATRON
		Miss... who are those guys?

					MONICA
				(after a moment)
		I don't know.

JUST OUTSIDE THE DINER - A MOMENT LATER

HEROIC GROUP SHOT as the Mystery Men merch down the middle of street, 
toward the sound of the gunfire... and into the night.

THEME AND CREDITS...

THE END


Mystery Men



Writers :   Neil Cuthbert
Genres :   Action  Comedy  Fantasy


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