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                                            REPO MAN



                                           Written by

                                            Alex Cox



                                          Transcript by

                                           Steve Farmer




               Repo Man theme music now begins playing. Map is shown in background 
               (green text on black background), zoomed in on Los Alamos, New 
               Mexico. While remaining credits are shown, the map travels to 
               Sante Fe, then Albuquerque, then begins following US66 west through 
               Arizona to California, finally ending up a few miles east of 
               Goffs (northwest of Needles).
 
               Green '64 Chevy Malibu

               Malibu is weaving down the highway in the desert, passes billboard 
               with motorcycle cop behind it. Cop pulls out behind Malibu.
 
               
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Forty-niner and his daughter Clementine. 
                         Oh my darlin, oh my darlin...
 
               Motorcycle cop pulls the car over, gets off motorcycle and raps 
               on car window.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Clementine Clemen-

                                     COUNTY SHERIFF
                         Let me see your drivers license.

                                     RADIO
                         Post ten-eighteen. Post ten-eighteen.
 
                         
                                     COUNTY SHERIFF
                         From out of town, hmm? What's you got 
                         in the trunk?
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         oah...you don't want to look in there.
 
                         
                                     COUNTY SHERIFF
                         Give me the keys.

               The motorcycle cop walks around to the back of the car and opens 
               the trunk. The car has New Mexico license plates KBB-283. In 
               every scene after this when the plates are visible, they will 
               be 127-GBH.
 
                                     COUNTY SHERIFF
                         AHHHHHH!

               The motorcycle cop gets disintegrated, leaving behind a pair 
               of flaming boots (a reference to the movie Timerider, which was 
               co-written and produced by Mike Nesmith). Parnell watches from 
               side mirror, where we see that the left side of his sunglasses 
               have no lens.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Oh my darlin Clementine, you are lost 
                         now gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine.
 
                         
               Otto and Kevin, in the supermarket, facing cans of generic yellow 
               cling sliced peaches.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Do Do Do De Do De Do De Do De Do Feeling 
                         Do De Da Do De Do De Do Feeling seven-up. 
                         I'm feeling seven-up. Feeling seven 
                         up. I'm feeling seven up. It's a crisp 
                         refreshing feeling crystal clear and 
                         light. America's drinking seven-up and 
                         it sure feels right. Feeling lucky seven.
 
                         
               Otto puts price sticker on Kevin's glasses.

                                     OTTO
                         Kevin stop singing man.

                                     KEVIN
                         Feeling seven eleven.

                                     KEVIN
                         Hum. I wasn't singing guy.

                                     OTTO
                         I'm standing right next to you and you're 
                         fucking (flippin) singing. Cut it out.
 
                         
                                     KEVIN
                         Jeeze. Why so tense guy?

                                     MR. HUMPHRIES
                         Otto?

                                     KEVIN
                         Mister Humphries!

                                     MR. HUMPHRIES
                         You were late again this morning. Now 
                         normally I'd let it go but it's been 
                         brought to my attention that you're 
                         not paying attention to the way you 
                         space the cans. Many young men of your 
                         age in these uncertain times-
 
                                     MR. HUMPHRIES
                         Otto! Are you paying attention to me?
 
                         
                                     LOUIE
                         Hey! He's talking to you!

               Kevin chuckles

               Otto grabs Kevin by the front of his shirt, steps around him, 
               and pushes him into the stack of cans (this has been described 
               as a goof but it's clearly just a case of awkward staging used 
               to make the shot work).
 
               Louie pulls his gun.

                                     LOUIE
                         (Basta!) 

                                     KEVIN
                         You gotta love getting fired from your 
                         job in a big way, Otto.
 
                                     MR. HUMPHRIES
                         What are you laughing at? Louie, throw 
                         him out too.
 
                                     LOUIE
                         Come on you  worm. Get out of here.
 
                         
               Louie shoves Kevin down aisle where Otto is walking out. Otto 
               takes off his clip-on bow tie and tosses it back towards Louie. 
               Louie twirls his gun and puts it away. Note that the store aisle 
               is lined with nothing but generic products, plain black lettering 
               on white background. All products in movie from now on will have 
               this appearance.
 
               Punks slamdancing to Coup D'etat in the back of a warehouse.
 
               
               Otto is there slamdancing and Duke walks up, the two of them 
               swing each other around. Behind them, the graffiti on the wall 
               says "Circle Jerks", a band which will appear later in the movie.
 
               
                                     OTTO
                         How you doing dude? When did you get 
                         out of the slammer man?
 
               Otto enters bedroom where Debbi is waiting in bed.

                                     DEBBI
                         What's the difference? ]

                                     OTTO
                         Huh?

               Otto lays back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head.
 
               
                                     OTTO
                         okay

               Debbi pulls back his shirt a little and begins kissing his stomach, 
               then stops.
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Otto. Otto.

                                     OTTO
                         What?

                                     DEBBI
                         Get me another beer.

               Otto goes downstairs and there's a party going on. Institutionalized 
               plays in background.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Ow. Cool. Ow. Dammit. I'm supposed to 
                         be the host here.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Ow!

               Otto returns to the bedroom

                                     OTTO
                         Debbi honey. I got you a beer.

               Otto turns on light and finds Duke there with Debbi.

                                     [OTTO
                         Shit.

                                     DEBBI
                         Just ignore him Duke he's nothing but 
                         a big baby.
 
                                     DUKE
                         Turn the fucking light out.]

               Otto leaves room just as Kevin arrives and looks in the door.
 
               
                                     KEVIN
                         What are you doing? Nobody supposed 
                         to be up here. This is my parent's room.
 
                         
                                     
                         Dude, nobody supposed to be up here, 
                         this is my parent's room.)
 
               [Otto in a vacant lot drinking a beer.

               It's early morning and Otto starts walking.

                                     OTTO
                         Don't want to talk about anything else. 
                         We don't want to know. We're just dedicated...to 
                         our favorite shows. Saturday night live, 
                         Monday night football, Dallas, Jeffersons, 
                         Gilligan's island, Flintstones. ]
 
                         
               Otto still walking, but it's light now.

               Bud pulls up next to him in a blue sedan.

                                     BUD
                         Hey kid! (Honk) Hey! Hey kid! Hey! Hey! 
                         Are you hard of hearing?
 
                                     OTTO
                         What do you want?

                                     BUD
                         You want to make ten bucks?

                                     OTTO
                         Fuck you, queer.(Shove off, pervert)
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Now waita minute wait a minute kid you 
                         got the wrong idea. Look my old lady 
                         is real sick and I got to get her to 
                         the hospital, okay?
 
                                     OTTO
                         So what? Take her there.

                                     BUD
                         I can't. I can't leave her car in this 
                         bad area. Look I need some helpful soul 
                         to drive it for me, okay? She's pregnant. 
                         She's with twins. She could drop at 
                         any time. All right?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Well, uh, how much are you going to 
                         give me?
 
                                     BUD
                         Fifteen bucks.

                                     OTTO
                         No. Won't do it for less than twenty.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Twenty-five. Follow me in my old lady's 
                         car. It’s right here. okay?
 
                                     OTTO
                         All right... Where's, uh, where's your 
                         old lady at?
 
                                     BUD
                         Never mind about that. Right now we 
                         need to get both of my cars out of this 
                         bad area, allright? Come on.
 
               Otto gets in the car, a white 4 door Cutlass sedan.

                                     FROM THE APARTMENT
                         (baby crying) Papa! (?) aqui. un gringo 
                         (en la calle con su coche)
 
               

                                     BUD
                         Let's go.

               Bud and Otto drive down freeway, Chevy Malibu swerves in front 
               of them. It is moving right across the lanes but has the left 
               blinker on.
 
               Bud and Otto enter the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation

               (Marlene talks on phone simultaneously with other conversations).
 
               
                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand acceptance corporation, 
                         Marlene speaking.
 
                                     REPO VICTIM
                         You know damn straight what I'm talking 
                         about. It's sitting right out side. 
                         It took me two weeks to get this money 
                         up so I can come and get it.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         I don't think so sir you'll have to 
                         call back. I'll call you back O.K.?
 
                         
                                     OLY
                         That ain't your car.

                                     REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
                         Hey don't let him lie to you like that. 
                         Unh?
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Thanks Bud.

                                     REPO VICTIM
                         Are you going to give me my car or do 
                         I got to go to your house and shove 
                         your dog's head down the toilet.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand acceptance corporation 
                         Marlene speaking.
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Take it easy sonny boy.

                                     REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
                         Shut up rent-a-cop.

                                     OLY
                         Best goddamn (gol-durn) car on the lot.
 
                         
                                     REPO VICTIM
                         You damn right it is.

                                     MARLENE
                         Will you, Will you hold please?

                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand acceptance corporation 
                         Marlene speaking.
 
                                     REPO VICTIM
                         Say moma what's happening? You want 
                         to take a lift?
 
                                     MARLENE
                         No thank you. L.A.P.D. I wanted to report 
                         a repo in Boro heights area.
 
                                     REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
                         Let's go.

               The Repo victim and his girl leave

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         A Cadillac. Is he a pimp?

                                     BUD
                         Shut up Plettschner.

                                     MARLENE
                         Bud what street was that car on?

                                     BUD
                         Honey I don't know, some alley uh. Hey 
                         kid!
 
                                     OTTO
                         What?

                                     BUD
                         Hey what street was the Cutlass on?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         I don't know. What happened to your 
                         old lady?
 
                                     MARLENE
                         They don't know I'll call you back.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand acceptance corporation 
                         Marlene speaking.
 
                                     BUD
                         My old lady? Oh shit (shoot)! I forgot 
                         all about her. Well she'll take the 
                         bus. She's a rock.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         What kind of car? What kind of car?
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Hey come on in. Marlene! Marlene!

                                     MARLENE
                         Can you hold?

                                     OLY
                         Got a name kid?

                                     OTTO
                         Yeah! It's Otto.

                                     OLY
                         Otto! Otto parts? HAHAHA

               The phone rings and Oly answers

               Marlene is talking on the phone, but a continuous cut now shows 
               her holding a pencil in both hands.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         You got a drivers license honey?

                                     OLY ON THE PHONE
                         Oh Yeah! Fuckin-a (flippin right) we 
                         ripped your car. Asshole (airhead)!
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Let me see it.

                                     OLY ON THE PHONE
                         You want to know who told us where it 
                         was? Your goddamn (gol-durned) brother.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Are you really twenty-one?

                                     OTTO
                         That's what it says doesn't it.

                                     OLY
                         Hey you want some help with that beer 
                         kid?
 
                                     OTTO
                         You're all repo men.

                                     OLY
                         What if we are?

               Otto pours the beer on the floor.

                                     BUD
                         You know kid, uhh, usually when someone 
                         pulls shit (stuff) like that my first 
                         reaction is uhh I want to punch his 
                         fucking (flippin) lights out.
 
                                     BUD
                         But you know something?

                                     BUD AND OLY
                         You're all right!

                                     BUD
                         Right Lite?

               Lite enters

                                     LITE
                         Got any messages for me baby?

                                     MARLENE
                         Yeah. Here you go.

                                     OLY
                         Cracks me up.

                                     LITE
                         Somebody pissed (puked) on the floor 
                         again?
 
                                     OLY
                         Maybe he's looking for a job? Huh budsky?
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Could be? What do you say kid were always 
                         on the look out for a few good men.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Screw (stuff) that! Ain't going to be 
                         no repo man. No way!
 
               Otto out in the yard with Miller

                                     MILLER
                         You find one in every car. You'll see.
 
                         
               Back in the desert

               We begin scene looking through the windshield of a police motorcycle. 
               The windshield of the police motorcycle naturally has a pine 
               tree air freshener hanging from it. We see some people searching 
               around in the desert, most of them in radiation suits, with a 
               local sheriff following a woman in a business suit.
 
                                     RADIO
                         Come in Officer Labeef do you read me?
 
                         
                                     RADIO
                         Chuck will you stop fooling around?
 
                         
                                     SHERIFF
                          I've never seen the like of that.
 
                         
                                     RADIO
                         I have the stats on that car Officer 
                         Labeef.
 
                                     RADIO
                         Ten-forty Baker

                                     SHERIFF
                         What could have done that to him? Gasoline? 
                         Napalm?
 
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         It happens sometimes. People just explode. 
                         Natural causes.
 
                                     SHERIFF
                         What?

               Suspect presence on west coast confirmed

               44% possibility Los Angeles

               Locate immediately

               Do not notify police

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Suspect presence on west coast confirmed. 
                         Do not notify police.
 
               Otto and Kevin on a porch in the rain

                                     OTTO
                         Night watchman in Pomona.

                                     KEVIN
                         Yep.

                                     OTTO
                         Asbestos worker. City of industry.
 
                         
                                     KEVIN
                         Yep Yep!

                                     OTTO
                         French fry maker Agoura. Ha Ha that's 
                         absurd.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Yeah? Well you think it's funny huh? 
                         There's fucking (lots of) room to move 
                         as a fry cook, man. You know I could 
                         be manager in two years? King! God! 
                         (egad!)
 
                                     OTTO
                         You know Kevin, I had this wild fucking 
                         (flippin) dream the other night.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         I bet.

                                     OTTO
                         It was with you and me and we were working 
                         in this sleazy shithole (shabby) motel 
                         down in Miami, Florida. And we were 
                         bellhops and we were sixty-five years 
                         old. It was so real it was really real, 
                         realistic.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         And then what, you woke up in a puddle 
                         (cold sweat)?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Fuck you! (drop dead)

                                     KEVIN
                         Fucking (you) jerk.

               Otto stands up and starts to walk away.

                                     KEVIN
                         Where you going asshole (snotnose)?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Away from you.

               Otto gets off the Edge City #127 bus and comes home. Mom and 
               Dad are watching TV
 
                                     NOTE
                         Edge City, also the name of the film's 
                         production company, is a recurring theme 
                         in Tom Wolfe's "Electric Kool-Ade Acid 
                         Test".
 
                                     OTTO
                         Mother, father. Got anything to eat?
 
                         
                                     REVEREND LARRY
                         Occasionally we get a letter from a 
                         viewer that says now the only reason 
                         Reverend Larry comes on your television 
                         set is because he wants your money. 
                         And do you know what? They're right! 
                         I do want your money. Because god wants 
                         your money. So I want you to go out 
                         and mortgage that home and sell that 
                         car and send me your money. You don't 
                         need that car. (continues in background)
 
                         
                                     OTTO MOM
                         Put it on a plate son you'll enjoy it 
                         more.
 
                                     OTTO
                         I couldn't enjoy it any more mom MMM 
                         MMM MMM This is swell.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Dad? Hey Dad?

                                     OTTO DAD
                         What is it son?

                                     OTTO
                         Do you remember that you once told me 
                         along time ago. Well not too long ago 
                         but ummm. That you told me that you'd 
                         give me a thousand dollars to go to 
                         Europe if I finish school. Well you 
                         know something? You were right. About 
                         finishing school that's ah that's what 
                         I'd like to do. But umm I want to know 
                         if I could have the money first. Like 
                         now. [You know I really love you Dad 
                         I've always loved you. You too mom. 
                         What do you say?
 
                                     OTTO DAD
                         I don't have it anymore.

                                     OTTO
                         What?]

                                     OTTO MOM
                         You father gave all our extra money 
                         to the Reverend's telethon, Otto. 
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Well what about me?

                                     OTTO DAD
                         You're on the honor roll of the chariots 
                         of fire. Same as us, Otto. It was a 
                         gift. From all of us jointly.
 
                                     OTTO MOM
                         We're sending bibles to El Salvador.
 
                         
               Otto and Bud riding in Bud's car

               Jazz music plays on the radio. In almost all scenes inside of 
               Bud's car, Jazz music will be playing on the radio.
 
               In this sequence the background changes from day to night, back 
               to day, and back to night again (during the speed snorting scene) 
               even though the dialog seems continuous. I believe that this 
               was done intentionally to show the passage of time, but the disjointed 
               events are cut so smoothly as to make it seem like they goofed 
               the continuity. It's clearer in the TV version where there truly 
               is a break between the line about speed and the actual snorting.
 
               
                                     OTTO
                         So how much do I get paid, twenty-five 
                         buck a car.
 
                                     BUD
                         Paid? You don't get paid. Are you kidding, 
                         you work on commission, that's better 
                         than getting paid.
 
                                     BUD
                         Most cars you rip are worth two or three 
                         hundred dollars. Fifty thousand dollar 
                         Porsche (german pronounciation) might 
                         make ya five grand.
 
                                     BUD
                         It helps if you dress like a detective, 
                         too. Detectives dress kind of square. 
                         People think this guy is a cop. They're 
                         going to think you're packing something. 
                         They don't fuck (mess) with you so much.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Are you?

                                     BUD
                         Am I what?

                                     OTTO
                         Packin' something.

                                     BUD
                         Ha. Only an asshole (a jackass) gets 
                         killed for a car. Guys who make it are 
                         the guys who get into their cars at 
                         anytime. Get in at three A.M. get up 
                         at four. That's why there ain't a repo 
                         man I know that don't take speed.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Speed huh?

               Bud at payphone

               Bud is talking on phone.

                                     BUD
                         I'll call you back! (hangs up) Flippin 
                         general telephone.
 
               Bud picks up phone and dials. Phone begins making a loud whining 
               noise.
 
               Bud gets sledgehammer from car and destroys phone while Otto 
               watches. When Bud is done, Otto gets crowbar from car and beats 
               side of phone with it while laughing.
 
                                     BUD
                         C'mon.

               Otto and Bud in car in alley

               (In the television version, this entire scene takes place while 
               watching Bud's car drive down a road, but you can still hear 
               the snorting in the background.)
 
                                     [BUD SNORTING A LINE
                         Jesus Christ.]

                                     BUD
                         Never broke into a car. Never hot-wired 
                         a car. Kid. I never broke into a trunk. 
                         I shall not cause harm to any vehicle 
                         nor the personal contents thereof. Nor 
                         through inaction let that vehicle or 
                         the personal contents thereof come to 
                         harm. That's what I call the repo code 
                         kid. Don't forget it etch it in your 
                         brain. Not many people got a code to 
                         live by anymore.
 
                                     BUD
                         Hey! Hey look at that. Look at those 
                         assholes (that) over there.
 
               We see a group of people around a tow truck with a car being 
               hooked up to it.
 
                                     BUD
                         Ordinary  people I hate 'em.

                                     OTTO
                         Me too.

                                     BUD
                         What do you know? See an ordinary person 
                         spend his life avoiding tense situations. 
                         Repoman spends his life getting into 
                         tense situations. ! Lets go get a drink.
 
                         
               Otto and Bud in a store

               Bud sets 2 six packs of "drink" down on the counter.

                                     BUD
                         Tense situations kid. Get into five 
                         or six of them a day and it don't mean 
                         shit (zilch) anymore. I mean I seen 
                         men stabbed and it didn't mean shit 
                         (zilch). I've seen guns. Guns too they 
                         don't mean shit (zilch) but that's when 
                         you got to watch your self. Here I'll 
                         handle it pal. Uh settle down.
 
                                     BUD
                         Have a nice day. Or night. Night, day, 
                         it doesn't mean shit (zilch).
 
               Duke, Archie, and Debbi rise from behind counter as Otto and 
               Bud leave.
 
                                     DUKE
                         Wasn't that Otto?

                                     DEBBI
                         Otto who?

                                     DUKE
                         You gotta watch yourself. (takes off 
                         mask) Have a nice day . . . night.
 
                         
               Parnell drives Malibu across bridge

               Otto and Bud in front of house with tow truck

                                     BUD
                         This is what I call phase 2 ace. If 
                         the dealer don't have the keys, you 
                         call the truck. And it is a heartbreak 
                         to be sitting waiting for the truck 
                         and the giblet comes out and drives 
                         it away. Once you've got this baby on 
                         the hooks, she's all ours.
 
               Man comes out of house with shaving cream on face.

                                     PAKMAN
                         Oh no you don't. I'm nipping this in 
                         the bud right now. You are not going 
                         to take this car. I know my rights. 
                         There is absolutely no way you're going 
                         to take it.
 
                                     BUD
                         Uh, are you miss Luann Pakman?

                                     PAKMAN
                         Obviously not. I'm Arthur Pakman. Luann 
                         is my daughter. Now you're going to 
                         have to take this matter up with her.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Well don't think I haven't tried, sir, 
                         but she hasn't had the decency to call 
                         us in months. I mean, I've skipped trace 
                         this car all over town.
 
                                     PAKMAN
                         Well, uh, Luann is sick. Now the damn 
                         car isn't working anyway, and I know, 
                         I know that's why she hasn't paid you.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Well, she could have called us? Look, 
                         all you've go to do is call my branch 
                         manager, I will abide with whatever 
                         he says.
 
               Bud hands Pakman a business card.

                                     PAKMAN READING CARD
                         I. G. Farben. . . What do you take me 
                         for, a moron? If I go in there, you're 
                         going to take this car away.
 
                                     BUD
                         What, and lose my job? The law requires 
                         that I stay right here until you call 
                         my branch manager.
 
                                     PAKMAN
                         That's the law?

                                     BUD
                         That's the law.

               Pakman begins walking toward house.

                                     PAKMAN
                         I'll be right back.

               Pakman goes inside and Bud and Otto leave with the car as Pakman 
               comes running back out of the house.
 
               Otto and Bud driving down a waterway

                                     BUD
                         There's going to be some bad shit (stuff) 
                         coming down one of these days kid.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Oh yeah? Where you going to be? On the 
                         moon?
 
                                     BUD
                         Ung Uh, I'm going to be right here heading 
                         north at a hundred and ten per.
 
                                     OTTO
                         In this junker?

               The Rodriguez brothers pull up along side of them in a red convertible 
               with black fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. Latino 
               music plays on the radio.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Cool car.

                                     BUD
                         Uh Oh! The Rodriguez brothers.

               [Lagarto flips them off

                                     OTTO
                         Motherfucker just flipped you off.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Roll the window down.] Roll the window 
                         down.
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         A donde vas, pendejo?

                                     BUD
                         A chingas tu esposa!

                                     A BROTHER
                         Hey Bud, hey Bud, who's your new girlfriend?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Watch it mother fucker. (Girlfriend? 
                         watch it melonfarmer!)
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         Hey fuck you pussy punk. (flip you, 
                         you punk.)
 
                                     [OTTO
                         Holy shit.]

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Want me to take them?

                                     OTTO
                         Wo! Hey!

               They chase each other and end up sliding out in a huge puddle. 
               In one shot during the chase, Lagarto is missing from the passenger's 
               seat.
 
                                     BUD
                         God damn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo 
                         punks. I'll get your ass!
 
                                     
                         dang blamed dumb suck Rodriguez gypsy 
                         devil punks. I'll get your can!)
 
                                     OTTO
                         HAHAHA WOW! That was intense.

                                     BUD
                         Repo man's always intense. Come on let's 
                         go get a drink.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Gee bud. You never told me it was going 
                         to be like this man. Cops and robbers. 
                         Hahahahah. Real live car chases. Hahahahah.
 
                         
               Duke, Archie and Debbi leaving a liquor store they just robbed
 
               
               Archie has a bag over his head. Debbi accidentally fires gun 
               into the air.
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         Shit (shoot)! Debbi!

                                     DUKE
                         If you say our names we'll have to kill 
                         all these people Archie.
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         They all ran away.

                                     DEBBI
                         Come on you douche bags. (come on, get 
                         the lead out.)
 
               They run out, Archie's bag flying off his head. Bud and Otto 
               enter just after they leave.
 
                                     BUD
                         Awful quiet in here. It's too quiet.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         So who are these Rodriguez boys.

                                     BUD
                         Rodriguez brothers. Lagarto and Napoleon. 
                         Two notorious delinquents currently 
                         responsible for at least thirty vehicles 
                         in the field.
 
               Quick shot of Rodriguez brothers in car lot signing papers on 
               a car. Although not made entirely clear in the movie, Lagarto 
               and Napoleon apparently will buy an inexpensive car and pay for 
               it in order to establish a good credit rating. Then they go out 
               and buy nice cars and never make payments on them.
 
               Lite and Otto in Lite's car

                                     OTTO
                         Scumbags

                                     LITE
                         They ain't scumbags. They car thieves 
                         just like use.
 
                                     LITE
                         There's Miss Magruder. You want to go 
                         for it?
 
               Lite hands Otto a bag. Otto looks inside and laughs.

                                     OTTO
                         Good gag, you pull this one a lot?
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         Only on the women. It never fails.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Excuse me? Miss Magruder? I have something 
                         here for you.
 
               Otto takes dead rat from bag and tosses it into Ms. Magruder's 
               car
 
                                     MS. MAGRUDER
                         Uhm how utterly charming.

               Ms. Magruder sprays Otto in the face with mace

                                     OTTO
                         Ow! Ow! Ow! Motherfucker! (mother...) 
                         Ow! Ow! Ow! Christ! I'm blind man. Lite? 
                         Lite, where are you man?
 
               Otto and Bud outside a Laundromat

                                     BUD
                         Ruthside Peason brokerage consultant. 
                         Fucking (flippin) millionaire six payments 
                         behind. I've never understood it.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         What's that?

                                     BUD
                         The fucking (flippin) millionaires. 
                         They never pay their bills. See you 
                         at the yard.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Let me get this one.

                                     BUD
                         No. I'll handle this one. Mister Peason 
                         is carrying a permit for a pistol.
 
                         
               Otto grabs the slimjim and gets out of the car

                                     BUD
                         Hey! Hey! Hey! Give me that.

                                     OTTO
                         Don't underestimate me ace.

                                     RUTHSIDE PEASON
                         And also, naturally, I'd like them to 
                         be right next to each other. In addition 
                         I'd like them to be as close to the 
                         window as possible so I can sit in my 
                         car and watch my things. So all you 
                         have to do is take your clothes out 
                         of here like this and put them into 
                         a machine over there like that.
 
               Peason Sees Otto driving off with the car.

                                     RUTHSIDE PEASON
                         Oh my god (lord)! Oh! Oh my god (lord)! 
                         Stop!
 
               Peason runs out door after car. Two kids grab Peason's clothes 
               and throw them out the door.
 
               Otto driving the car, a red Cadillac

               Car radio plays Pablo Picasso. Otto sees Leila running on the 
               sidewalk and slows down while watching her.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Hey! Hey! You want a ride? Hey babe 
                         need a ride?
 
               Otto runs into some garbage cans, stops and gets out just as 
               an old lady walks up.
 
                                     OLD LADY
                         Pick it up! Look at you. You pick it 
                         up. You know yourself you were wrong.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Well what were they doing out in the 
                         middle of the street?
 
                                     OLD LADY
                         They weren't in the middle of the street. 
                         That not the middle of the street that's 
                         the corner.
 
                                     OLD LADY
                         Go on you pick it up.

                                     OTTO
                         What?

                                     OLD LADY
                         You pick it up.

                                     OTTO
                         Haha, no way. You still want a ride 
                         or what?
 
                                     OLD LADY
                         No I don't.

               Leila and Otto drive off in the car

                                     OTTO
                         My name is Otto.

                                     LEILA
                         Leila. Is this your car?

                                     OTTO
                         Yeah it's one of them.

                                     LEILA
                         Heh, one of them? You think you're pretty 
                         slick don't ya? I bet you're a used 
                         car salesman.
 
                                     OTTO
                         I am not.

                                     LEILA
                         You dress like one.

                                     OTTO
                         I'm a repo man.

                                     LEILA
                         What's that?

                                     OTTO
                         It’s a repossesser. I take back cars 
                         from dildos (deadbeats) who don't pay 
                         their bills. Cool huh?
 
               Hombre Secreto plays on car radio.

                                     LEILA
                         No.

               Leila hides as a car with two men pulls up next to them

                                     OTTO
                         What are you doing?

                                     LEILA
                         Those men in the car next to us don't 
                         look at them. Don't look at them! If 
                         they see me they'll kill me.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Really why?

                                     OTTO
                         Ow! What the hell are you doing?

                                     OTTO
                         What's going on?

                                     LEILA
                         Take a look at this.

               Leila shows Otto a picture of condoms, filled with water and 
               wearing grass skirts. We notice that she is wearing a yellow 
               happy face watch.
 
                                     OTTO
                         What's this? It looks like sausage.
 
                         
                                     LEILA
                         It isn't sausage Otto. That's a picture 
                         of four dead aliens.
 
                                     OTTO
                         HAHAHAH

                                     LEILA
                         Laugh away fuckface (fatface) that picture 
                         is going to be on the cover of ever 
                         major newspaper in two days time.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         How do you know that?

                                     LEILA
                         Part of a secret network. A scientist 
                         who is also in our secret sect smuggled 
                         the corpses off of this air force base. 
                         Now he's got them in the truck of his 
                         car. It's a Chevy Malibu. We've got 
                         to find him.
 
                                     OTTO
                         What are you going to do with them, 
                         put them on Johnny Carson?
 
                                     LEILA
                         Yes! We're going to have a press conference 
                         and tell the world.
 
                                     RADIO
                         Ehw. What's that? I don't know dear. 
                         But it is alive. It seems friendly though. 
                         Aw look it's curled up. How cute oh 
                         no. Maybe we can take it home it doesn't 
                         seem to have any. Oh yes let's. But 
                         no! No matter how appealing do not let 
                         strange creature in you house. We all 
                         know strange creatures are on the increase. 
                         Many of them do seem furry and adorable, 
                         but beware we don't know from whence 
                         they came. Be safe. Be safe. Report 
                         strange incidences today. (continues 
                         in background)
 
               They pull up in front of a building

                                     OTTO
                         United fruitcake outlet.

                                     LEILA
                         My door doesn't open.

               Otto lets Leila out

                                     LEILA
                         Thanks for the ride.

               As Leila stands there, we notice she has a yellow happy face 
               pin on her dress.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Sure Ummm I don't know. what do you 
                         think? Ah want to go out with me again 
                         sometime?
 
                                     LEILA
                         I don't know. I'm going to be kind of 
                         busy with work, the Malibu and everything.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Hey great. Terrific. Here's your shit 
                         (stuff).
 
                                     LEILA
                         What's your problem? I mean girls might 
                         like you if you lightened up a little 
                         bit.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Fuck (Flip me). Girls pay to go out 
                         with me. All right?
 
                                     LEILA
                         You wanna get back in the car?

                                     OTTO
                         What, here?

                                     LEILA
                         Yeah.

               Squeals are heard from the back seat of the car

               Back at the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation

                                     OLY
                         Twenty thousand dollars for a Chevy 
                         Malibu?
 
                                     OLY
                         Who's double X finance?

                                     MARLENE
                         Store front operation, but the money 
                         is in escrow.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Want me to notify the boys?

                                     OLY
                         Uh, naw. They're always bitching (crying) 
                         about their case load. I think I'll 
                         go out for a while.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Why? We out of beer?

                                     OLY
                         Somebody has to work around here. Keep 
                         making me money kid.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Fuck (flip) you.

               Otto and Lite out in the field

                                     LITE
                         Man we've been looking for this little 
                         red devil for a long time. Just act 
                         natural. Nobody knows if it’s your car 
                         or somebody elses car.
 
                                     LITE
                         Now you work with that. You give it 
                         a try. All right?
 
                                     LITE
                         Let me give you a hand we don’t have 
                         a whole year to find it boy.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Got it.

               They slimjim the car and get in

                                     LITE
                         Lets get out of here. Put your seat 
                         belt on.
 
                                     LITE
                         Put your seat belt on boy! I don't ride 
                         with anybody unless they wear their 
                         seatbelt. It's one of my rules.
 
               Otto, going through Lite's briefcase, picks up gun.

                                     LITE
                         Put that damn gun down boy. It ain't 
                         no toy. 
 
               Driving away in the car

                                     LITE
                         I walk into someone's place of work. 
                         They shit (plum) scared. They know I'm 
                         not a cop. They think I've come to kill 
                         'em and I would. I'd kill anybody who 
                         crosses me. You know what I mean?
 
                         
               Otto goes through glove compartment, puts on pair of sunglasses 
               he finds there (reference to the movie Kings of the Road with 
               cinematography by Robby Mueller). Lite puts a lighter to the 
               cigarette in his mouth, but fails to light it. A few moments 
               later he does it again and succeeds in getting it lit.
 
                                     LITE
                         Do you like music?

                                     OTTO
                         Sure.

                                     LITE
                         In that case you're going love this.
 
                         
               Lite puts cassette in player. Lite's Theme starts playing.

                                     LITE
                         I was into these dudes before anybody. 
                         Partied with them all the time. Asked 
                         me to be their manager. I called bullshit 
                         (no way) on that. Managing a pop group 
                         hey that ain't no job for no man.
 
                         
               Otto sees boxes wrapped in ribbons in back seat and hands one 
               to Lite who throws it out window. A car runs over box and we 
               see that it is full of money. Otto continues throwing boxes out 
               of the window.
 
                                     LITE
                         You read that book I gave you?

                                     OTTO
                         What book?

                                     LITE
                         Dioretix. Science of matter over mind.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Unh uhg

                                     LITE
                         You'd better read it and quick. That 
                         book will change your life. Found it 
                         in a Maseratti in Beverly hills. 
 
                         
               Otto and Miller in vacant lot under bridge

                                     MILLER
                         A lot of people don't realize what's 
                         really going on. They view life as a 
                         bunch of unconnected incidences and 
                         things. They don't realize that there's 
                         this like lattice of coincidence that 
                         lays on top of everything. I'll Give 
                         you an example, show you what I mean. 
                         Suppose you thinking about a plate of 
                         shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like 
                         plate or shrimp or plate of shrimp out 
                         of the blue no explanation. No point 
                         in looking for one either. It's all 
                         part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         You eat a lot of acid Miller, back in 
                         the hippie days?
 
                                     MILLER
                         I'll give you another instance. You 
                         know the way everybody's into weirdness 
                         right now. Books in all the supermarkets 
                         about Bermuda triangles, UFO's, how 
                         the Mayans invented television. That 
                         kind of thing.
 
                                     OTTO
                         I don't read them books.

                                     MILLER
                         Well the way I see it it's exactly the 
                         same. There ain't no difference between 
                         a flying saucer and a time machine. 
                         People get so hung up on specifics. 
                         They miss out on seeing the whole thing. 
                         Take South America for example. In South 
                         America thousands of people go missing 
                         every year. Nobody knows where they 
                         go. They just like disappear. But if 
                         you think about it for a minute, you 
                         realize something. There had to be a 
                         time when there was no people. Right?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Yeah. I guess.

                                     MILLER
                         Well where did all these people come 
                         from? hmmm? I'll tell you where. The 
                         future. Where did all these people disappear 
                         to? hmmm?
 
                                     OTTO
                         The past?

                                     MILLER
                         That's right and how did they get there?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         How the fuck (hell) do I know?

                                     MILLER
                         Flying saucers. Which are really? Yeah 
                         you got it. Time machines. I think a 
                         lot about this kind of stuff. I do my 
                         best thinking on the bus. That how come 
                         I don't drive, see?
 
                                     OTTO
                         You don't even know how to drive.

                                     MILLER
                         I don't want to know how. I don't want 
                         to learn. See? The more you drive, the 
                         less intelligent you are.
 
               In Bud's car driving through a tunnel

                                     BUD
                         You know I think I saw one of those 
                         things once. One of those UFOs. I mean 
                         it was really it was kind of kind of 
                         scary. I saw all these colored lights 
                         and, uh, sounds. I mean sounds and lights 
                         like I never heard before. I mean it 
                         was really weird.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Bud.

                                     BUD
                         Yeah?

                                     OTTO
                         Do you think all repo men follow the 
                         code?
 
                                     BUD
                         Of course. Well I mean you see a lot 
                         of fucked (messed) up cars come in but...99 
                         time out of 100 it was the customer 
                         who fucked (mucked) them up. Assholes 
                         (Damn fools).
 
               Bud in phone booth outside the Rodriguez brothers' apartment.
 
               
                                     BUD
                         I'm offering a thousands dollars for 
                         his Falcon. You know what that is Napoleon? 
                         It's a bribe.
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Who the hell is this? Napoleon? Who 
                         the fuck (hell) are you calling?
 
                                     BUD
                         It's a grand if you show me where his 
                         car is Napoleon.
 
                                     [NAPOLEON
                         Ahh. Go fuck yourself asshole.]

                                     BUD
                         Hello? Prick (Jerk).

               Inside the Rodriguez brothers' place, Napoleon looking at repo 
               sheet on Malibu, which Marlene brought to them.
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Sixty-four Chevy Malibu. Twenty grand.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Waiting!

                                     NAPOLEON
                         We could buy ten of them for that, Marlene.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Think you can find it now?

                                     BUD IN THE STREET
                         I'm not going anywhere.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Now how come this junk is worth so much? 
                         What's in it? Drugs?
 
                                     BUD IN THE STREET
                         Got all night amigo!

                                     LAGARTO
                         Los Hermanos Rodriguez don't approve 
                         of drugs.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Neither do I, but it's my birthday.
 
                         
                                     BUD IN THE STREET
                         I'm going to get your .

                                     [MARLENE
                         That motherfucker's still down there.]
 
                         
               Bud in the street in front of the Rodriguez brother's house
 
               
                                     BUD
                         Don't care how long it takes, dildos 
                         (jerks). Repo man's got all night every 
                         night.
 
               Brothers make paper airplane of repo sheet and float it down 
               to Bud. Bud picks it up and reads it.
 
                                     BUD
                          twenty thousand dollars.

               Agent Rogersz listening to Leila and Otto on the phone

                                     OTTO
                         Hey Leila! All right, um, this is Otto. 
                         The guy who gave you a ride and stuff. 
                         I heard something about that car.
 
                         
               Leila and Otto at the United Fruitcake Outlet

               Leila takes Otto into a cinderblock room which has a neon sculpture 
               on the wall and in the center of the room, standing on a pedestal, 
               is a humorous statue of what could be a humanoid type alien.
 
               
                                     LEILA
                         Otto. Otto stop. You said you had something 
                         to tell me.
 
                                     LEILA
                         Otto? Otto!

                                     OTTO
                         Huh?

                                     LEILA
                         What did you want to tell me?

                                     OTTO
                         Oh! Take off your clothes.

                                     LEILA
                         I'm at work, Otto!

                                     OTTO
                         Oh yeah? Me too.

                                     LEILA
                         Your work is different than mine.

                                     OTTO
                         Says who?

               Otto takes down his pants (according to the filmmakers, Estevez 
               enjoyed doing this on a regular basis. Maybe they were just joking?).
 
               
                                     LEILA
                         What are you doing.? Don't do that.
 
                         
                                     [OTTO
                         Well the least you could do is give 
                         me a blow job.
 
               Leila slaps Otto

                                     OTTO
                         Heh, I guess that means no.]

                                     DEADRA
                         Leila? We have a cell meeting in two 
                         minutes time.
 
                                     LEILA
                         Thanks Deadra. I'll be right there.
 
                         
               Bud and Lite parked in their cars side by side

                                     BUD
                         See that motherfucker (melonfarmer) 
                         only thinks I don't know what's going 
                         on, Lite. As soon as I find that Chevy 
                         I'm going indy. I'm going to buy myself 
                         a tow truck, a couple of pitbulls, and 
                         run a yard. Sit around and watch everybody 
                         else do the work for a while (change).
 
                         
               Lite lights up a roach.

                                     LITE
                         No way you can do that on twenty grand 
                         man.
 
                                     BUD
                         The hell I can as long as you have good 
                         credit and my credit is spotless.
 
                         
                                     
                         The hell I can't, as long as your credit 
                         record's good and mine is spotless.)
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         If I find the Malibu, you won't see 
                         me for dust, I'm going to move to Mendecino 
                         County, raise me a bumper crop of tomato 
                         plants.
 
               Bud and Otto in a car

                                     BUD
                         Credit is a sacred trust. It's what 
                         our free society is founded on. You 
                         think they give a damn about their bills 
                         in Russia? I said do you think they 
                         give a damn about their bills in Russia?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         They don't pay bills in Russia. It's 
                         all free.
 
                                     BUD
                         All free? Free my ass, what are you 
                         a fucking (flippin) commie? Huh?
 
                                     OTTO
                         No I ain't no commie.

                                     BUD
                         Well you'd better not be I don't want 
                         any commies in my car. No Christians 
                         either.
 
               Chevy Malibu exits car wash and pulls up to gas pumps.

               That's director Alex Cox wiping the car as it pulls away from 
               the car wash and over to the pumps.
 
               The pumps at the gas station say "Pace Gas". Next to the pump 
               is a campaign poster for Harry Pace, running for City Council. 
               These posters appear elsewhere in the film. In his posters, Harry 
               Pace has a happy face.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         I'll deal with you later. I've got a 
                         customer to attend to. You too.
 
               Kevin walks over to Malibu.

                                     KEVIN
                         Hi! I'm Kevin. Vacuum sir?

                                     KEVIN
                         Need a vacuum sir?

               Parnell runs fingers through hair and pulls out a clump.

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Have you any machines?

                                     KEVIN
                         You don't want to eat from a machine. 
                         Look, there's a nice Del Taco across 
                         the street. They've got enchurritos 
                         and everything.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         But I do want to eat from a machine. 
                         Vended food contains all the necessary 
                         nutrients for survival. Taste damn good 
                         too, by golly. And plus, on any given 
                         evening, the machine that last night 
                         gave you cheetos might dispense instead... 
                         Doritos. Yohos. Oreos. Tosquitos (tostitos?). 
                         Or Lorna Doones.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Lorna Doones? I love Lorna Doones.
 
                         
               Parnell walks off screen and we hear puking sounds.

                                     KEVIN
                         Oh hey! You want me to check the trunk? 
                         Scuze me.
 
               Lagarto and Napoleon pull up in a car one other side of pumps. 
               Latino music plays on their car radio.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         Hi! I'm Kevin!

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Hey buddy! How you doing? Huh? Hey don't 
                         you remember me? I was here yesterday. 
                         Heh. Listen I think I left a book of 
                         matches over in your office over there. 
                         You want to go and check for me huh?
 
                         
                                     KEVIN
                         Sure thing.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Hey thanks a lot buddy.

                                     KEVIN
                         Any thing for you babes.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         All right, you're beautiful. I love 
                         you.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         I'll be right back.

               Lagarto gets in the Malibu and both cars drive off. Kevin returns 
               from inside and sees both cars gone. Two other attendants sit 
               at a table and also look; the attendant on the right is director 
               Alex Cox.
 
                                     KEVIN
                         What??

               Shot of car driving down freeway, passed by several motorcycles.
 
               
               Otto and Mrs. Parks in Mrs. Parks' living room

                                     OTTO
                         It's really very simple Mrs. Parks. 
                         You don't want me to take your car and 
                         I don't want to take your car. Now I 
                         said to the boss I said ah Look! I do 
                         not want to repossess this lady’s car.
 
                         
               Sound of motorcycles pulling up outside of house.

                                     MRS. PARKS
                         Well I've been in the hospital you see.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Yeah, Yes I understand. My job is really 
                         on the line over this one. I could lose 
                         it right away.
 
                                     MRS. PARKS
                         I'll see if I can borrow some money 
                         from somewhere.
 
                                     OTTO
                         That's terrific. Really terrific.

               Mrs. Park's son and his fellow band members enter

                                     MRS. PARKS
                         Oh how was the rehearsal son?

                                     MRS. PARKS' SON
                         It was O.K. Who's this?

                                     MRS. PARKS
                         Oh this is Mr. Otto. He's from the finance 
                         company. He's been telling me that he 
                         isn't going to take the car this time, 
                         even though he could.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Well, uh, gotta get going here.

               Otto fumbles nervously with his briefcase trying to close it.
 
               
                                     MRS. PARKS
                         Did you like the tea?

                                     OTTO
                         The tea?

                                     MRS. PARKS
                         Uh huh?

                                     OTTO
                         Yeah, it was terrific.

                                     OTTO
                         Thank you

                                     MRS. PARKS
                         You're welcome.

                                     OTTO
                         Uh excuse me.

               Otto walks outside and gets in car. From outside we hear Mrs. 
               Parks yelling at her son.
 
                                     MRS. PARKS
                         I gave you the money last week to pay 
                         it and you didn't do it. What did you 
                         do with it? I'm so tired of giving you 
                         money and you squandering it. I know 
                         what you done you all went out dancing 
                         some where. That's what you did. Next 
                         time I give you some money I want you 
                         to put it in the car ya hear. You're 
                         working. How come you didn't do it huh? 
                         I don't know what's happened to you. 
                         (continues softly)
 
               Otto starts car and guns engine, but now we clearly see that 
               the rear wheels are up on jacks (that it wasn't up on jacks before 
               has been listed as a goof and even confirmed by Alex Cox, but 
               I think they're wrong. It is hard to tell in the dark, but you 
               can see the base of one of the jacks lit up by a light from the 
               house which goes dark as a band member runs in front of it on 
               the other side of the car, thus confirming that the car actually 
               was up on jacks in all the scenes).
 
               Band members run out of house and pull Otto out of car.

                                     OTTO
                         Hey it's cool. It's cool. I like music 
                         too man, hey
 
               Otto gets beat up. One band member hits him twice over the head 
               with a guitar, making an audible "kabong" noise. Supposedly you 
               can hear one member saying "this one's for Keith Moon", but I've 
               never been able to make it out.
 
               Miller, Plettschner and Otto in the lot.

               Miller is chanting and dancing like a native American as he puts 
               a bandage on Otto's head.
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Some people aren't cut out to be repo 
                         men. Why don't you smarten up kid?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Fuck (flip) you Plettschner! OWW! OWW!
 
                         
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Don't you say fuck (flip) you to me. 
                         Don't you know who I am?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Yeah you're Plettschner.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         You're fucking (flippin) right I'm Plettschner. 
                         Otto Plettschner. Three times decorated 
                         in two world wars. I was killing people 
                         while you were still swimming around 
                         in your father's balls (guts). You little 
                         scum bag! I worked five years in a slaughter 
                         house and ten years as a prison guard 
                         in Attica.
 
                                     OTTO
                         So what?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         So what? So never say fuck (flip) you 
                         to me. Because you haven't earn the 
                         rights yet.
 
               Lite enters

                                     LITE
                         Hey kid I need a contract driver.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         See what I mean punk?

                                     OTTO
                         Fuck (flip) you!

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Fuck you! (What!) You little scumbag.
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         Shut up, Phlettschner.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Don't you ever tell me to shut up.
 
                         
               Lagarto and Napoleon in the Malibu

               They pull up in front of a diner.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Shit (shoot)! (?)! It's too hot in here 
                         man. What the hell's going on? So fucking 
                         (flippin) hot I think that shit in the 
                         trunk is going to melt. I think we better 
                         take a look, all right?
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         Go get us two sodas.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         All right, as soon as I check the trunk.
 
                         
                                     LAGARTO
                         We're just the mules, comprende? (Andale')...
 
                         
               Lagarto calls Marlene from phone booth. A sign in the window 
               of the diner behind him says "2.95 Plate O-Shrimp Luncheon Special".
 
               
                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand.

                                     LAGARTO
                         Marlene! We've found the car.

               Archie, Duke, and Debbie exit a window and go down a fire escape 
               [dropping armloads of pills as they go]. Behind them, a sign 
               says "Fox & Mac Taggert Pharmaceutical Company".
 
                                     DUKE
                         Come on you guys!

                                     DUKE
                         Get the lead out.

                                     DEBBI
                         Stop pushing Duke.

                                     [ARCHIE
                         My medication. Aw man!

                                     DUKE
                         Aw be cool dude we got more.

                                     ARCHIE
                         Come on. Come on. da-dee-dee-dee-dah-dah 
                         dee-dee... (continues to the tune of 
                         The Ride of the Valkyries)
 
               Lagarto on the phone with Marlene

                                     LAGARTO
                         Yeah well that's not the only thing 
                         Marlene. This car is hot.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         What do you mean? Stolen?

                                     LAGARTO
                         No. No I mean it's hot really hot.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Hot?

                                     LAGARTO
                         Yeah, we're sweating like pigs man.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         I got the papers. Where is the car from?
 
                         
                                     LAGARTO
                         It's from someplace. Ah Roswell, New 
                         Mexico
 
               Archie and Duke run by the Malibu. Debbie stops, whistles and 
               gets in the car. Archie and Duke jump in and they drive off to 
               the sound of a Latino version of The Ride of the Valkyries. Lagarto 
               walks out of the phone booth just as this is happening and drops 
               his clipboard in disgust. Napolean walks out of the store, silently 
               hands Lagarto a soda, and they both stand there and sip their 
               drinks through straws.
 
               Otto and Lite in a car

               The music from Bad Man is playing on the tape deck in Lite's 
               car.
 
                                     LITE
                         Me fight in a war man? Fuck (hell) no 
                         way! Nobody's got to do that shit. Not 
                         in this country. A new I.D. don't cost 
                         no more than a pink slip. You know what 
                         I mean?
 
                                     LITE
                         Something wrong?

                                     OTTO
                         You know Marlene? Man she's pretty hot.
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         Otto my man. I jumped on that action 
                         from day one. I found out where she 
                         was coming from.
 
                                     OTTO
                         See ya back at the yard.

                                     LITE
                         Have fun.

               Otto slimjims car and tries to start it. While bending down, 
               window shatters from gunshot.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Oh shit (damn). Holy shit (smoke). Lite! 
                         . Lite! Lite! Lite! Lite! Open the door. 
                         There's a maniac in there. What are 
                         you doing? Open the door man! What are 
                         you doing? What are you doing? Open 
                         the door. Lite!
 
               Lite gets out and starts shooting back. He fires 9 times (one 
               or two of the shots doesn't flash like the others).
 
                                     LITE
                         You're still on the job white boy. Get 
                         in the car.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Open the door man, open the  door. Open 
                         the door Lite.
 
                                     LITE
                         Get in the car.

                                     OTTO
                         Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes.)

               Lite and Otto in a field

                                     OTTO
                         You're crazy Lite. I mean you can't 
                         just shoot into peoples houses. I mean 
                         maybe you shot the guy.
 
                                     LITE
                         So what if I did?

                                     OTTO
                         Well I don't know I mean that's pretty 
                         severe.
 
               Lite shoots the gun at Otto's feet. Otto drops his beer, getting 
               some on his pants.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes!)

                                     LITE
                         Hey! Blanks get the job done too.

                                     OTTO
                         You repo men, you guys are all out to 
                         fuckin (flippin) lunch. Let's get out 
                         of here.
 
               Leila and J. Frank Parnell on pay phones

               Leila on phone hears garbled sounds on receiver.

                                     LEILA
                         Hello. Is it you? This is Leila. Are 
                         you using a scrambler?
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         I can't hear you. I'm using the scrambler.
 
                         
                                     LEILA
                         (garbled noises in background) Look 
                         out!
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         What?

               A car swerves into the phone booth, then crosses street and hits 
               a fire hydrant. The agents are trapped inside by the airbags. 
               More agents appear and chase Leila
 
                                     AGENT
                         Happy face! You want a ride?

               In Agent Rogersz van

               An agent types while eating potato chips. The camera pans across 
               the van to Agents Rogersz, who is watching a monitor which shows 
               Leila being questioned
 
                                     LEILA
                         What do you want from me?

                                     AGENT
                         We ask the questions.

                                     LEILA
                         You're not going to torture me are you?
 
                         
                                     LEILA
                         Torture you? What for?

                                     LEILA
                         To find out what I know. I'd torture 
                         someone in a second if it was up to 
                         me.
 
                                     AGENT
                         Huh? Why are you looking for the Malibu?
 
                         
                                     LEILA
                         Because of the trunk. The aliens inside.
 
                         
                                     AGENT
                         Illegal aliens?

                                     LEILA
                         No, Silly, Extraterrestrials.

                                     AGENT
                         Ahhh, heh. Did you ever think about 
                         joining the CIA?
 
                                     LEILA
                         Um. I going to have to ask my boyfriend.
 
                         
                                     AGENT
                         Boyfriend??

               Rogersz computer screen prints up the following information
 
               
                                     SUBJECT
                         Otto Maddox

                                     GENDER
                         male

                                     RACE
                         Caucasian

                                     AGE
                         21

                                     CORRECTION
                         18

               A party at the Helping Hand yard

                                     EVERYBODY
                         Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all 
                         the way. Oh what fun
 
                                     OTTO
                         What's going on?

                                     MARLENE
                         Oh. The usual.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Marlene! How you doing baby?

                                     OLY
                         Jesus (Golly) who done that to yeah 
                         son?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Who done what?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Who done what he says. You want to talk 
                         about guts. What did you do to your 
                         face kid?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Oh some dude it doesn't matter.

                                     LITE
                         Oh yes it does.

                                     MARLENE
                         Why don't you do something Plettschner? 
                         Aren't you a cop or something?
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Hey Marlene. I'm on my coffee break.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Repo man don't go running to the man 
                         Marlene. A repo man goes at it alone.
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         Yes sirree bob.

                                     MARLENE
                         Just like John Wayne.

                                     OLY
                         Damn right just like John Wayne what's 
                         wrong about that?
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Greatest American that ever lived.
 
                         
                                     MILLER
                         John Wayne was a fag (freak).

                                     BUD
                         What did you say man?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Whaa?

                                     OLY
                         What?

                                     [MILLER
                         John Wayne was a fag.]

                                     EVERYONE
                         The hell he was.

                                     MILLER
                         He was too you boys. I installed two 
                         way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. 
                         And he'd come to the door in a dress.
 
                         
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Ah, you're fucking (flippin) nuts.
 
                         
                                     OLY
                         That doesn't mean he was a homo (freak), 
                         Miller. Lotta straight guys like to 
                         watch their buddies fuck (play). I know 
                         I do.
 
                                     BUD
                         They do?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Yeah.

                                     OLY
                         Don't you?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Damn straight I do.

                                     LITE
                         Fuck (Damn) John Wayne man. Tell us 
                         his name you little pussy (sissy).
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Kiss off you asshole (airhead).

                                     OTTO
                         Ow you bastards (loonies)!

                                     BUD
                         Hey take it easy. Take it easy. The 
                         guys head is hurt.
 
                                     OLY
                         This is too personal sonny. The thing 
                         is a repo man got beat up in the line 
                         of duty. Now it doesn't matter that 
                         that man was you. What really matters 
                         is that the guy that did it has got 
                         to pay the price. Now stop being selfish 
                         and tell us his name.
 
                                     LITE
                         Come on.

                                     OTTO
                         Ahh Oww You bastard (buzzard).

                                     OTTO
                         All right! All right! All right! All 
                         right! O.K. his name was...
 
               The repo men in the front of Mr. Humphries's house

               They ring the bell and Mr. Humphries opens the door. In the background, 
               we can just barely see Kevin, who appears to be in his pajamas. 
               This is never explained in the movie.
 
                                     OLY
                         Mr. Humphries?

                                     MR. HUMPHRIES
                         Yes? Yes I'm Mr. Humphries. What do 
                         you want? Ungghhh...
 
               Repo Men beat up Mr. Humphries.

               At the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation office

                                     T.V.
                         The president admitted that U.S. war 
                         planes have napalmed refugees camps 
                         in Southern Mexico. He explained that 
                         these camps were in fact guerrilla bases. 
                         In strife torn Guatemala shots were 
                         fires at the U.S. embassy and government 
                         troops retaliated killing 50... (continues 
                         in background)
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Helping hand acceptance corporation. 
                         Marlene speaking.
 
                                     LEILA
                         Hello, is Otto there?

                                     MARLENE
                         It's for you. A girl.

                                     OTTO
                         Yeah.

                                     LEILA
                         Hi Otto? It's Leila.

                                     OTTO
                         Leila who?

               In a bar.

               Duke, Archie, and Debbie enter the bar, checking their weapons 
               at the door. The Circle Jerks are on stage playing When the Shit 
               Hits the Fan.
 
                                     OTTO
                         I can't believe I used to like these 
                         guys.
 
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Listen to me! For the sake of this and 
                         future generations you must tell us 
                         everything you know.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Yeah. Sure. I need another drink.

                                     LEILA
                         Otto, these aliens aren't on ice or 
                         anything. They could be starting to 
                         decay. We've got to find them before 
                         they turn into mush.
 
                                     DUKE
                         Well! Well! Well! If it ain't the repo 
                         man.
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         You look like shit (snot) you wankers 
                         (weirdos).
 
                                     OTTO
                         Duke. Debbi. Archie. I'd like you to 
                         meet Leila and her weird friend.
 
                                     DUKE
                         How you doing, asshole (airhead)?

                                     ARCHIE
                         How come you don't hang out with your 
                         friends no more?
 
                                     [OTTO
                         What friends?

                                     DUKE
                         Want some toot dude?

               Duke spills his bottle of generic Butyl Nitrate on the table. 
               Debbie and Archie yell and put their noses to the table to sniff 
               it all up.
 
                                     DUKE
                         I really love ya man. You're my best 
                         friend. Because you always fucking came 
                         to see me while I was in Juvie.
 
                                     OTTO
                         I'm busy man. I told ya I was working.
 
                         
                                     DEBBI
                         Look a metal hand.

                                     ARCHIE
                         Cool!

                                     DEBBI
                         Can we feel it?

                                     ARCHIE
                         Oh Chante.]

                                     DUKE
                         Fuck (flip) this let's go do some crimes.
 
                         
                                     [ARCHIE
                         Adios butthole.]

                                     LEILA
                         Charming friends you got there Otto.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Thanks, I made'um myself.

               Debbi, Archie and Duke leave to find J. Frank Parnell breaking 
               into the Malibu
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Hey what  you doing with our car?

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Your car?

                                     ARCHIE
                         Yeah!

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Are you sure? This looks like my car. 
                         Are there pecan pies in the back seat?
 
                         
                                     ARCHIE
                         Not any more. We ate 'em.

                                     DUKE
                         Shut up Archie.

                                     ARCHIE
                         You shut up.

                                     DUKE
                         You're still here?

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         My car looks just like this. But this 
                         is yours, your car?
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         Yeah four eyes.

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Of course...what's in the trunk?

                                     DUKE
                         What do you mean?

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         You don't even know what's in your own 
                         trunk.
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Kill him Duke!

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         You know what? I think you're afraid 
                         to find out.
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Kill him.

                                     ARCHIE
                         Come on Duke you putty butt, kill him.
 
                         
                                     DUKE
                         I aint afraid of nothing see.

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         It's all right I don't blame you for 
                         being afraid.
 
                                     DUKE
                         I said I ain't afraid of nothing. I 
                         kill people like you.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Oh well. I guess you're right. It's 
                         better not to look.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Beautiful evening. You can almost see 
                         the stars.
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         Oh shut up. Duh. He's going to open 
                         it. HAHAHA
 
                                     DUKE
                         Ah.

                                     ARCHIE
                         Come on Duke.

               Duke burns his hand on the trunk and wraps a handkerchief around 
               it.
 
                                     DUKE
                         This thing is hot.

                                     ARCHIE
                         AWWW, heh heh heh

                                     DEBBIE
                         Well we don't have all night.

               Duke opens the trunk a little and a bright light is emitted. 
               Debbi pushes him away.
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Close it Duke! No! No!

                                     ARCHIE
                         Aw. Dukie Wookie hurt his wittle hand.
 
                         
                                     DUKE
                         Fuck (flip) you Archie! Just for that 
                         your not in the gang any more.
 
                                     ARCHIE
                         I'm taking over now.

                                     DEBBI
                         Oh leave it off.

                                     ARCHIE
                         King Archie the invincible.

                                     DEBBIE
                         Shut up Archie.

                                     ARCHIE
                         Hey Debbi! Watch this.

               Archie opens the trunk and is disintegrated

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Oh dear, what a shame.

                                     DEBBIE
                         Come on duke let's go do those crimes.
 
                         
                                     DUKE
                         Yeah. Yeah. Let's go get Sushi and, 
                         and not pay.
 
               Napoleon and Lagarto in a car pull up along side of J. Frank 
               Parnell driving the Malibu
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Hey! Yo! Hey buddy!

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Special deputies pull over. Special 
                         deputies pull over. Hey!
 
               The Helping Hand repo men in a car

                                     [OLY
                         So the department says the ice broke 
                         and he fell in.
 
                                     BUD
                         Look at these people man there's one 
                         person in each car. City wants up to 
                         car pool but nobody gives a shit.
 
                         
                                     MILLER
                         People car pool, we'd be out of work.
 
                         
                                     LITE
                         AWW bullshit!

                                     OLY
                         How come that pig's got a wooden leg? 
                         Well said the farmer said about three 
                         months ago I was out there walking the 
                         pig.
 
                                     MILLER
                         Look at that car.]

                                     LITE
                         Hey Budsky. There's your Girlfriend.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Aww! Those Rodriguez brothers Humm? 
                         O.K., boys, we've got the whole team 
                         here tonight lets settle these motherfucker's 
                         (melonfarmers) hash for good.
 
                                     LITE
                         Let's do it.

                                     [NAPOLEON
                         Yo! Pull over.

                                     LAGARTO
                         Meda Bud. Shit!]

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Don't lose him man.

               Bud rams into the Rodriguez brothers' car while the Malibu drives 
               off with a noticable green glow coming from inside.
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Hey! Hey! Take it easy. Stop this  car. 
                         Hey come on. Come on.
 
               The Rodriguez brothers are forced into a parking garage and eventually 
               have to stop the car
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                          Come on! Come on! What are you going 
                         to do with that bat? What? Huh? What?
 
                         
                                     LAGARTO
                         Hey! Hey! Hey!

                                     LAGARTO
                         You bad bud. This is going to cost you 
                         plenty.
 
                                     BUD
                         What do you mean its going to cost me 
                         plenty?
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         How's your neck Napoleon?

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Oh my neck? Yeah! Oh!  my neck is killing 
                         me man. I think I got whiplash.
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         Aside from whiplash, this isn't a repo 
                         car.
 
                                     [BUD
                         Bullshit! I got the fucking papers on 
                         it.]
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         We paid it off. You see, uh this is 
                         our favorite car.
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Yeah that's right. You got insurance 
                         ?
 
               Bud goes after them with a bat but the rest hold him back.

                                     BUD
                         Come on . Whose side are you on ? Let 
                         me go .
 
               Back at the Helping Hand office .

               Plettschner is sitting in a corner knitting. A television set 
               on Oly's desk is playing the video "Elephant Parts" with Mike 
               Nesmith. ov
 
                                     BUD
                          This is bullshit (hokum) Oly.

                                     OLY
                         Yeah Yeah that's what I said when the 
                         marshal woke me up at 4 o'clock this 
                         morning . Unfortunately it isn't bullshit 
                         (hokum), it's a summons.
 
                                     BUD
                          You should have refused to accept it.
 
                         
                                     OLY
                         Have you read it? The goddamn (gol-durn) 
                         Rodriguez brothers are suing us for 
                         malicious damage, medical expenses and 
                         harassment for a car they fucking (flippin) 
                         own.
 
                                     BUD
                         The Rodriguez brothers. But. Ha! You 
                         believe the fucking (flippin) Rodriguez 
                         brothers? They're a couple of scumbags 
                         Oly. You know that?
 
                                     OLY
                         I know that bud. But we've got to sit 
                         down and get our stories straight.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Bullshit (Hogwash) you're taking their 
                         word against mine.
 
                                     OLY
                         I was there remember? Why don't you 
                         go home? Take the rest of the week off.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Take the rest of the? I can't take the 
                          rest of the...OW yeah! I Un Huh I get 
                         it. Take the flippin rest of the week 
                         off budsky. So you can get the flippin 
                         twenty thousand dollars for the Malibu.
 
                         
                                     OLY
                         Make it a fucking (flippin) month.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Yeah? Well fuck (flip) you.

                                     OLY
                         On second though Budsky. Don't bother 
                         coming back at all.
 
                                     BUD
                         Great! I'll come back and pick up my 
                         stuff later when the fucking (flippin) 
                         place don't stink so bad.
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Ha! Ha! Ha!

                                     OLY
                         Shut up!

               Bud and Otto in Bud's car

               Otto is driving the car.

                                     BUD
                         . Makes you wonder how much they owe. 
                         Most of them are on the run. Don't even 
                         use their fucking (flippin) social security 
                         numbers. If there was just some way 
                         to find out how much the motherfuckers 
                         (melonfarmers) owe and making them pay.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Jesus Christ (Holy cow) bud. They're 
                         winos, they don't have any money. You 
                         think they'd be bums if they did?
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         You want out? Do ya?

                                     OTTO
                         No!

                                     BUD
                         What's a matter with you? Don't you 
                         like your job anymore? Not too happy 
                         in your job? I mean I feel like were 
                         not communicating any more. When we 
                         first started out I though I could teach 
                         you something share something with you 
                         for Christ's sake. Answer me!
 
               Otto gets out and walks down street. Passes agents picking up 
               dead body.
 
                                     AGENT
                         (heard in background) I'm picking up 
                         the dead. I'm putting my hands around 
                         this dead body. I'm, I'm carrying his 
                         limp torso to the truck. And he feels 
                         like like he has only been dead a little 
                         while but...
 
               Otto sees the Malibu and gives chase. Losing the car, he stops 
               on a bridge to puke. When done, he sees the Malibu emerge from 
               under the bridge. He runs down the stairs and after the Malibu 
               as it goes through a railroad crossing which has red lights blinking 
               and bell ringing. J. Frank Parnell stops and lets him in.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                          (holds out hand) J. Frank Parnell.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         ott, ott...

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         What line of work you in?

                                     OTTO
                         re, re, re..

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Rock'n'roller, eh!? I used to be a musician 
                         myself, college days. Of course it was 
                         folk songs and protest songs back then. 
                         (begins singing, badly) We shall overcome, 
                         we shall overcome...
 
               Otto coughs.

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         (stops singing and scratches ear) Did 
                         you ever feel as if your mind had started 
                         to erode?
 
                                     OTTO
                         No.

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Ever been to Utah?

                                     OTTO
                         Nuh-uh

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         I go to Utah every year. Friend of mine, 
                         was a designer of the MX missile race 
                         track basing mode. A hundred thousand 
                         miles of railroad track on a big loop 
                         through Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. Bombs 
                         were going to hide in locomotive sheds. 
                         That way the red team would never know 
                         exactly where they were. I still go 
                         out to Utah, just to think about the 
                         way things might have been.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Sir. I represent the Helping Hand Acceptance 
                         Corporation.
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Radiation, yes indeed! You hear the 
                         most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked 
                         goggle-boxed do-gooders telling everybody 
                         it’s bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! 
                         Everybody could stand a hundred chest 
                         X-rays a year. They ought to have 'em 
                         too. When they canceled the project 
                         it almost did me in. One day my mind 
                         was literally a-burst. The next day 
                         nothing. Swept away... But I showed 
                         them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Not at all. A friend of mine had one. 
                         Designer of the neutron bomb. Ever hear 
                         of the neutron bomb? Destroys people. 
                         Leaves buildings standing. It fits in 
                         a suit case. It's so small no one knows 
                         it's there until blammo. Eyes melt skin 
                         explodes everybody dead. It's so immoral 
                         working on the thing can drive you mad. 
                         That's what happened to this friend 
                         of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's 
                         well again.
 
                                     OTTO
                         What kind of car does your... does your 
                         friend drive?
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Chevy Malibu.

                                     OTTO
                         And you do the same type of work?

                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Didn't I tell you? I can't tell you 
                         what I do. I'm classified.
 
                                     OTTO
                         This is really a nice old car. Why don't 
                         you let me drive?
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         What do you mean?

                                     OTTO
                         Well I don't know. I mean...uh! Don't 
                         you feel funny.?
 
                                     J. FRANK PARNELL
                         Why should I feel funny? The two hemispheres 
                         are fundamentally at odds. Hemisphere, 
                         Hemisphere. You know it's strange. I 
                         do feel funny...
 
               J. Frank Parnell passes out at the wheel and drives into the 
               sign at another railroad crossing. Otto dumps him and drives 
               off with the Malibu.
 
               The helping hand crew at Miller's with their wives

                                     OLY
                         By the way kid, sign this.

                                     OTTO
                         What is this?

                                     OLY
                         Equity turnover. Standard practice. 
                         Protects you in case we get sued. . 
                         . Don't read the damn thing, kid, just 
                         sign it.
 
               Miller has a camera and the flash goes off as he accidentally 
               takes a picture of himself.
 
                                     REPO WIFE 1
                         Here's the young new-waver we've all 
                         heard so much about.
 
                                     REPO WIFE 2
                         My old man had a mohawk on him when 
                         I met him. He was in the service then.
 
                         
                                     OLY
                         He signed it over to me. But he didn’t 
                         realize-
 
                                     REPO WIFE 2
                         My old man was such a monster. I used 
                         to have to tell him no.
 
                                     REPO WIFE 1
                         My old man was exactly the same way 
                         until we got married.
 
                                     LITE
                         Hey Oly. You're wife's hanging all over 
                         Otto.
 
                                     OLY
                         Yeah. Like flies on shit (spit).

                                     OTTO
                         Um. Have you see uh bud anywhere?

                                     REPO WIFE 1
                         Who?

               Bud and Otto in office

                                     TV
                         ...another wonderful Christian opportunity. 
                         The Reverend Larry...
 
                                     BUD
                         Hey there hero. Get the money yet?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Not yet. Oly's going to get it for me 
                         though. I just signed the papers.
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Whu, what do you mean, what papers?
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Beats me, just some, uh, contract or 
                         something.
 
                                     BUD
                         Didn't you read it?

                                     OTTO
                         Well, no, just, uh, standard practice, 
                         uh, contract...
 
                                     BUD
                         Melonfarmer Oly! ...oooh, shoot.

                                     OTTO
                         What, is that not a happening deal?
 
                         
               Bud breaks into the lot. Later, he picks up Otto

                                     BUD
                         Hey ace. Wait up.

                                     OTTO
                         So you want to talk about it?

                                     BUD
                         Talk about what kid?

                                     OTTO
                         Why you're so damn mad at me?

                                     BUD
                         I'm not mad at you.  damn. I'm not. 
                         I'm not mad at you.
 
                                     OTTO
                         All right O.K.

               Duke and Debbie in car in front of a liquor store

                                     [DUKE
                         Debbie?

                                     DEBBIE
                         What?

                                     DUKE
                         I've been thinking. Now that we've got 
                         some money and Archie's gone, don't 
                         you think it's time we we settle down? 
                         Get a little house. I want you to have 
                         my baby.
 
                                     DEBBIE
                         Why?

                                     DUKE
                         Well I don't know. Every body does it. 
                         And it just seems like the thing to 
                         do and...
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Asshole.]

                                     DUKE
                         Let's go do the job.

               Bud and Otto are at the counter. Duke and Debbi enter waving 
               guns.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Duke! Debbie! What what are you guys 
                         doing here?
 
                                     DUKE
                         What's it look like ace?

                                     DEBBIE
                         Up against the wall.

                                     DUKE
                         I'm going to kill him. I'm going to 
                         kill him. I'm going to kill everybody. 
                         ha-ha-ha
 
               Bud sneaks his gun out. Louie sees him from down an aisle.

                                     LOUIE
                         Drop it motherfucker (melonfarmer).
 
                         
               Louie now sees the others with the guns. Bud waves his back and 
               forth. Debbi shoots Bud in the head.
 
                                     BUD
                         Oww shit (shoot).

               Duke shoots Louie. Louie goes down but manages to shoot Duke, 
               but then is out of bullets. Duke walks over to Louie to finish 
               the job, but the counterman pulls out a shotgun and shoots Duke. 
               Debbie shoots the counterman. Now only Debbie and Otto are left 
               standing.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Debbie Ah. Ah Do You, uh, do you think 
                         it's too late uh for us to get romantically 
                         involved?
 
                                     DEBBIE
                         I think a little.

                                     OTTO
                         Wait! Wait! Stick with me. I'll make 
                         you a repo wife.
 
                                     DEBBI
                         Bollocks. Here. (tosses Otto a bag of 
                         popcorn)
 
                                     DUKE
                         Otto?

                                     OTTO
                         Yeah I'm here man.

                                     DUKE
                         The lights are growing dim. I know a 
                         life of crime led me to this sorry fate. 
                         And yet I I blame society. Society made 
                         me what I am.
 
                                     OTTO
                         That's bullshit (nonsense). You're a 
                         white suburban punk, just like me.
 
                         
                                     DUKE
                         But it still hurts.

                                     OTTO
                         You're going to be all right man

               Duke pukes up some blood.

                                     OTTO
                         Maybe not.

               Agents photographing a dead J. Frank Parnell

               One of these agents is Jimmy Buffet, who was working with Mike 
               Nesmith at the time the film was made.
 
                                     AGENT
                         Yep he's dead all right.

                                     AGENT
                         No doubt about it.

                                     AGENT
                         He's a goner.

                                     AGENT
                         Man.

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Don't touch the body, don't touch the 
                         body.
 
                                     AGENT
                         Sorry.

                                     AGENT
                         Telephone call for you agent.

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Don't bother me now.

                                     AGENT
                         But Agent Rogersz, it's the Gipper.
 
                         
                                     AGENT
                         Look.

                                     AGENT
                         Booth's setting him on fire

               Otto enters Parents living room

               Parents are covered with cobwebs and watching TV.

                                     REVEREND LARRY ON TV
                         ...fail to register for patriotic chores. 
                         So, please call this toll free number. 
                         Praise the lord. There is no redemption 
                         for the unredeemed, no escape for the 
                         fair weather patriots. No salvation 
                         from the boiling blistering fires of 
                         eternal damnation. Now these are the 
                         end times. Because in these days there 
                         shall be hell in time. Man shall be 
                         lovers of their own self rather than 
                         lovers of God.
 
                                     OTTO'S DAD
                         Haven't seen you in a while, Son.

                                     TV
                         No escape...

                                     OTTO'S MOM
                         Some men were just here looking for 
                         you, Otto.
 
                                     TV
                         No salvation from the blistering files 
                         of eternal damnation. For in these days 
                         there shall be hell in time, there shall 
                         be war and more war, and earthquakes 
                         in diverse places...
 
                                     OTTO
                         What kind of men?

                                     OTTO'S MOM
                         Very nice young men. They wore sunglasses.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Well, what did you tell them? Did you 
                         tell them I was sick?
 
                                     OTTO'S DAD
                         We told them the truth, son. Gave them 
                         your address at work.
 
                                     TV
                         Money shall run out and the people will 
                         line up at the banks and there won't 
                         be anything . . . these prophecies are 
                         in your bible. The same one that you 
                         have in your home. Now I want you to 
                         get up off of your sofa and put that 
                         beer down and go wherever it is in your 
                         house pick up that book and turn with 
                         me...
 
               Otto turns off TV and leaves.

               Otto returns to the Helping Hand Yard and sees an argument going 
               on in the office
 
                                     AGENT
                         Where's the car baby? That Chevy Malibu 
                         baby. Where's the car?
 
                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Otto!

                                     OTTO
                         Jeeze.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         You got to stay out of this.

                                     OTTO
                         Why?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         It's none of your business. You want 
                         to be a hero? Or would you rather be 
                         a chicken man?
 
                                     OTTO
                         What?

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         A chicken man. Did you ever see a farmer's 
                         wife? Huh?
 
                                     OTTO
                         Let go of me!

                                     [PLETTSCHNER
                         It's peaceful man.]

               Inside the Helping hand office

                                     AGENT 1
                         The Malibu.

                                     AGENT 2
                         Yeah?

               Otto enters and Marlene uses the distraction to kick the shit 
               out of the agents.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Let's go

                                     OTTO
                         No way Marlene.

                                     OTTO
                         My car's gone and we're going to get 
                         to the bottom of this.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Like hell we are.

                                     AGENT 2
                         Not in my face.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         Hold it Marlene. Freeze!

               Marlene drops chair.

                                     AGENT 2
                         My Face!

                                     MARLENE
                         Over my dead body.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         That's how it's going to have to be.
 
                         
                                     MARLENE
                         Come and get me. Come on.

                                     PLETTSCHNER
                         I've been wanting to do that one for 
                         a long time honey.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Come on. Come on. Come on if you think 
                         your man enough.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Hey Fletch. Coffee break.

               Otto throws a pot of coffee into Plettschner's face. Marlene 
               steps through door. Otto steps outside and is immediately captured 
               by agents.
 
               Agent Rogersz and Leila watch Otto on monitor

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Good evening Otto. This is agent Rogersz. 
                         I'm going to ask you a few questions. 
                         And since time is short and you may 
                         lie, I'm going to have to torture you. 
                         But I want you to know it isn't personal.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Look Ah this isn't really necessary. 
                         I'll tell you anything you want to know.
 
                         
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Good! Where is the Malibu?

                                     OTTO
                         I don't know. Somebody ripped it from 
                         the yard.
 
               Otto his hit with electric shock and screams.

                                     LEILA
                         I don't think he knows.

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Increase the voltage.

                                     LEILA
                         But what if he's innocent?

                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         No one is innocent. Proceed.

               Another electric shock and screams. Then Marlene and the Rodiguez 
               brothers enter interrogation room and rescue Otto.
 
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Ah yes! Look at them. High heels, hair 
                         nets, those ridiculous trench coats. 
                         They're pathetic.
 
                                     AGENT 1
                         But agent Rogersz, they're getting away.
 
                         
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         That's all part of the plan.

               Brothers, Marlene, and Otto drive away.

                                     MARLENE
                         Otto, Otto pull your self together.
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Marlene? What's going on?

                                     MARLENE
                         We're going to the hospital.

               Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers enter the hospital
 
               
                                     OLD LADY
                         Hey, I know you. You're the one that 
                         run into my trash.
 
                                     OTTO
                         Shh!

                                     OLD LADY
                         Shhh to you too.

               Otto and Marlene enter elevator with 2 health professionals. 
               Lagarto turns away woman on crutches trying to get in.
 
                                     LAGARTO
                         Out of order. Take the stairs.

               Otto and Marlene exit elevator wearing clothes taken from health 
               professionals. Otto has a smiley face button on his right collar.
 
               
                                     NOTE
                         Dr. Benway and Mr. Lee are both characters 
                         from "The Naked Lunch"
 
               Otto pulls back sheet covering body on gurney and sees Kevin.
 
               
                                     KEVIN
                         Otto?

               Cut back to ER waiting room where nurse is talking to patient 
               who has just filled out a form.
 
                                     NURSE 1
                         Let me see that. All wrong do it over.
 
                         
                                     OLD LADY
                         They're going through it all the and 
                         they won't pick it up.
 
                                     NURSE 2
                         Oh well isn't that a shame.

                                     OLD LADY
                         Oh tell you it comes to something when 
                         they expect you to pick it up.
 
               Otto and Marlene see a door with a pine tree air freshener hanging 
               from the knob. It's Bud's room. They go in.
 
                                     OTTO
                         How are you doing man?

                                     MARLENE
                         Ask him about the Malibu.

                                     OTTO
                         Look about the other night. I'm sorry 
                         I split. I know I should have stayed 
                         with you but ah it's like when I was 
                         a kid you know I I had this set of big 
                         wheels you know.
 
                                     MARLENE
                         Otto!

               Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers get chased by the agents 
               down the stairs.
 
               Back in Bud's room

                                     BUD
                         Shit (shoot). (starts to get up off 
                         of the bed)
 
                                     REVEREND LARRY
                         Praise the lord.

               Otto, Marlene and Rodriguez brother drive off and the agents 
               chase them through the parking garage.
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Go. Go. Go.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         Come on. Let's go.

               As they drive off and agents run after, the glowing Malibu drives 
               by and strikes down two of the agents with lightening bolts.
 
               
                                     OTTO
                         Dude slow down.

               Agent Rogersz blocks the exit and they are all caught.

                                     NAPOLEON
                         All right don't shoot come on all right 
                         all right
 
                                     AGENTS
                         Chicken shits (stuff). braak-braak-braak
 
                         
                                     AGENT ROGERSZ
                         Where's the Malibu?

                                     OTTO
                         Don't even ask because I don't know. 
                         I mean I don't have it Marlene doesn't 
                         have it you and your crazy friends don't 
                         have it. So that only leaves...
 
               Everybody in Bud's hospital room

               Bud is gone.

                                     AGENT
                         Where is he.

                                     AGENT
                         Where the fuck (hell) is he.

               They escape the agents. Marlene and the brothers drive off as 
               Otto breaks into and steals a car.
 
                                     NAPOLEON
                         Later!

                                     MARLENE
                         Bye, Bye.

                                     VOICE FROM THE RADIO
                         Here's another weird one. Reports are 
                         coming in about apparent hail of ice 
                         cubes south of downtown. Scientist are 
                         at a loss to explain the freak showers 
                         of tiny cubes of ice.
 
               Otto arrives at Helping Hands lot while it rains ice cubes.
 
               
               Bud is sitting in the glowing Malibu.

                                     OTTO
                         That's some weird fucking shit (filthy 
                         stuff) Eh Bud? What's going on man?
 
                         
                                     BUD
                         Shit (damn)! Eleven years of repoing 
                         cars and what have I got? Shit (zilch)!
 
                         
                                     OTTO
                         Bud listen to me. You're sitting in 
                         a car worth twenty thousand dollars. 
                         Look look we we turn it in we take the 
                         money and split it sixty forty. You 
                         and me.
 

Repo Man



Writers :   Alex Cox
Genres :   Comedy  Sci-Fi


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