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                                        "SIDEWAYS"

                                      Screenplay by

                               Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor

                                  Based on the novel by

                                       Rex Pickett

                                       May 29, 2003

                

               UNDER THE STUDIO LOGO:

               KNOCKING at a door and distant dog BARKING.

               NOW UNDER BLACK, a CARD --

                                         SATURDAY

               The rapping, at first tentative and polite, grows insistent. 
               Then we hear someone get out of bed.

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                         ...the fuck...

               A DOOR is opened, and the black gives way to BLINDING WHITE 
               LIGHT, the way one experiences the first glimpse of day amid, 
               say, a hangover.

               A WORKER is there.

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                         Yeah?

                                     WORKER
                         Hi, Miles. Can you move your car, 
                         please?

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                         Why?

                                     WORKER
                         The painters got to put the truck 
                         in, and you didn't park too good.

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                              (a sigh, then --)
                         Yeah, hold on.

               He closes the door with a SLAM.

               EXT. MILES'S APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY

               SUPERIMPOSE --

                                  SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

               Wearing only underwear, a bathrobe and clogs, MILES RAYMOND 
               comes out of his unit and heads toward the street. He passes 
               some SIX MEXICANS waiting to work.

               He climbs into his twelve-year-old CONVERTIBLE SAAB, parked 
               far from the curb and blocking part of the driveway. The car 
               starts fitfully.

               As he pulls away, the guys begin backing up the truck.

               EXT. STREET - DAY

               Miles rounds the corner and finds a new parking spot.

               INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

               He cuts the engine, exhales a long breath and brings his 
               hands to his head in a gesture of headache pain or just 
               anguish. He leans back in his seat, closes his eyes, and 
               soon NODS OFF.

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT - DAY

               The door bursts open. Miles runs into the kitchen, looking 
               just past camera.

                                     MILES
                         Fuck!

               WHIP PAN TO --

               THE MICROWAVE CLOCK that reads 10:50.

               ON THE PHONE --

               Miles hurriedly throws clothes into a suitcase.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, no, I know I said I'd be there 
                         by noon, but there's been all this 
                         work going on at my building, and 
                         it's like a total nightmare, and I 
                         had a bunch of stuff to deal with 
                         this morning. But I'm on my way. I'm 
                         out the door right this second. It's 
                         going to be great. Yeah. Bye.

               INT. MILES'S BATHROOM - DAY

               ON THE TOILET --

               Miles has a BOOK propped open on his knees. He turns a page, 
               lost in his reading.

               LATER --

               Miles SHOWERS.

               IN THE MIRROR --

               Miles FLOSSES.

               INT. COFFEE HOUSE - DAY

               Miles finally makes it to the front of the line.

                                     BARISTA
                         Hey, Miles.

                                     MILES
                         Hey, Simon. Triple espresso, please.

                                     BARISTA
                         Rough night, huh?
                              (ringing it up)
                         For here?

                                     MILES
                         No, I'm running late. Make it to go. 
                         And give me a New York Times and...
                              (scanning the display 
                              case)
                         ...a spinach croissant.

               EXT. 5 FREEWAY ENTRANCE RAMP - DAY

               Miles's Saab chugs up the ramp and merges.

               INSERT - NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE --

               -- pressed against the STEERING WHEEL. The puzzle is about 
               1/3 finished.

               EXT. 5 FREEWAY - DAY

               As though from an adjacent car, we see Miles driving while 
               carefully filling in an answer.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD --

               A SIGN reads:

                                   RANCHO PALOS VERDES
                                   PALOS VERDES ESTATES
                                         1/4 MILE

               PAN TO MILES as he signals to change lanes. The finished 
               puzzle lies on the passenger seat.

               EXT. PALOS VERDES STREET - DAY

               The houses on this block are blandly palatial as in so many 
               affluent Southern California suburbs.

               Miles's car pull into the driveway behind an older BMW and 
               two LEXI. He gets out and trots toward the front door.

               INT. ERGANIAN HOUSE - DAY

               A GIANT PROJECTION TV --

               In a large split-level living room displays a GOLF TOURNAMENT.

               WIDE --

               Watching from the ultra-comfortable furniture are MIKE 
               ERGANIAN, a tanned, silver-haired real estate caudillo; bride-
               to-be CHRISTINE ERGANIAN, his oldest daughter; and JACK 
               LOPATE, wearing bowling shirt, shorts and flip-flops.

               MRS. ERGANIAN, a warm and elegant housewife, shows Miles 
               into the room.

                                     MRS. ERGANIAN
                         Look what the cat dragged!

                                     MILES
                         Hi, everybody.

               Mr. Erganian and Jack get to their feet and shake hands with 
               Miles. Jack remains affable, but we can discern his genuine 
               irritation.

                                     JACK
                         About time you got here, bud. Mr. 
                         Prompt.

                                     MR. ERGANIAN
                         We were thinking maybe you took the 
                         wrong way and went to Tijuana and 
                         they didn't let you back in.

               The Erganians laugh. Miles works up a smile too.

                                     MILES
                         I had to bribe them.

               More lame laughter.

                                     CHRISTINE
                         Hey, Miles.

                                     MILES
                              (leaning in to kiss 
                              Christine)
                         Seriously though, the freeway was 
                         unbelievable today. Unbelievable. 
                         Bumper to bumper the whole way. People 
                         getting an early start on the weekend, 
                         I guess. Granted I got a late start, 
                         but still.

               Although Mr. Erganian presses MUTE on the remote, he keeps 
               watching for an extended moment, as do Jack and Miles.

                                     MRS. ERGANIAN
                         Christine, why don't you ask Miles 
                         about the cake?

                                     CHRISTINE
                         Oh, good idea. Here, Miles, come to 
                         the kitchen with me.

                                     JACK
                         Don't bother him with that. We got 
                         to get going.

                                     CHRISTINE
                              (taking Miles's hand)
                         It'll just take a second.

               INT. ERGANIAN KITCHEN - DAY

               Jack and the Erganians surround Miles as he eats from a plate 
               with two pieces of CAKE -- one white, one dark.

                                     MRS. ERGANIAN
                         Jack tells us you are publishing a 
                         book. Congratulations.

                                     MR. ERGANIAN
                         Yes, congratulations.

               Miles shoots Jack a look. Mr. Erganian gets some ice cubes 
               from the refrigerator door.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, well, it's not exactly finalized 
                         yet, but, um, there has been some 
                         interest and --

                                     MRS. ERGANIAN
                              (to Jack)
                         Your friend is modest.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, Miles, don't be so modest. 
                         Indulge them. Don't make me out to 
                         be a liar.

                                     MR. ERGANIAN
                         What subject is your book? Non-
                         fiction?

                                     MILES
                         No, it's a novel. Fiction. Although 
                         there's a lot from my own life, so I 
                         guess technically some of it is non-
                         fiction.

                                     MR. ERGANIAN
                         Good, I like non-fiction. There is 
                         so much to know about the world that 
                         I think reading a story someone just 
                         invented is kind of a waste of time.

                                     CHRISTINE
                         So which one do you like better?

                                     MILES
                         I like them both, but if pressed I'd 
                         have to say I prefer the dark.

                                     JACK
                              (to Christine)
                         See?

               INT. SAAB - CONTINUOUS

               IN A REAR VIEW MIRROR --

               The Erganians wave good-bye.

               INSIDE THE CAR --

               Miles accelerates as he and Jack wave back.

                                     JACK
                         Where the fuck were you, man? I was 
                         dying in there. We were supposed to 
                         be a hundred miles away by now.

                                     MILES
                         I can't help the traffic.

                                     JACK
                         Come on. You're fucking hungover.

                                     MILES
                         Okay, there was a tasting last night. 
                         But I wanted to get us some stuff 
                         for the ride up. Check out the box.

               Jack turns around, and starts rooting around in a CARDBOARD 
               WINE BOX.

                                     MILES
                         Why did you tell them my book was 
                         being published?

                                     JACK
                         You said you had it all lined up.

                                     MILES
                         No, I didn't. What I said was that 
                         my agent had heard there was some 
                         interest at Conundrum...

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, Conundrum.

                                     MILES
                         ...and that one of the editors was 
                         passing it up to a senior editor. 
                         She was supposed to hear something 
                         this week, but now it's next week, 
                         and... It's always like this. It's 
                         always a fucking waiting game. I've 
                         been through it too many times 
                         already.

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Senior editor? Sounds 
                         like you're in to me.

                                     MILES
                         It's a long shot, all right? And 
                         Conundrum is just a small specialty 
                         press anyway. I'm not getting my 
                         hopes up. I've stopped caring. That's 
                         it. I've stopped caring.

               Jack sits back in his seat holding up a bottle of CHAMPAGNE 
               and TWO GLASSES.

                                     JACK
                         But I know it's going to happen this 
                         time. I can feel it. This is the 
                         one. I'm proud of you, man. You're 
                         the smartest guy I know.

               Jack now begins to remove the foil from the champagne bottle.

                                     MILES
                         Don't open that now. It's warm.

                                     JACK
                         Come on, we're celebrating. I say we 
                         pop it.

                                     MILES
                         That's a 1992 Byron. It's really 
                         rare. Don't open it now. I've been 
                         saving it!

               Jack untwists the wire. Instantly the cork pops off, and a 
               fountain of champagne erupts.

                                     MILES
                         For Christ's Sake, Jack! You just 
                         wasted like half of it!

               Jack begins pouring two glasses.

                                     JACK
                         Shut up.
                              (handing Miles a glass)
                         Here's to a great week.

                                     MILES
                              (coming around)
                         Yes. Absolutely. Despite your crass 
                         behavior, I'm really glad we're 
                         finally getting this time together.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah.

                                     MILES
                         You know how long I've been begging 
                         to take you on the wine tour. I was 
                         beginning to think it was never going 
                         to happen.

               They clink and drink.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, that's tasty.

                                     MILES
                         100% Pinot Noir. Single vineyard. 
                         They don't even make it anymore.

                                     JACK
                         Pinot Noir? How come it's white? 
                         Doesn't noir mean dark?

                                     MILES
                         Jesus. Don't ask questions like that 
                         up in the wine country. They'll think 
                         you're a moron.

                                     JACK
                         Just tell me.

                                     MILES
                         Color in the red wines comes from 
                         the skins. This juice is free run, 
                         so there's no skin contact in the 
                         fermentation, ergo no color.

                                     JACK
                              (not really listening)
                         Sure is tasty.

               EXT. FREEWAY - DAY

               The Saab heads north.

               INT. SAAB - DAY

               The boys continue to drink and drive.

                                     MILES
                         Did you read the latest draft, by 
                         the way?

                                     JACK
                         Oh, yeah. Yeah.

                                     MILES
                         And?

                                     JACK
                         I liked it a lot. A lot of 
                         improvements. It just seemed overall, 
                         I don't know, tighter, more... 
                         congealed or something.

                                     MILES
                         How about the new ending? Did you 
                         like that?

                                     JACK
                         Oh yeah. Much better.

                                     MILES
                         There is no new ending. Page 750 on 
                         is exactly the same.

                                     JACK
                         Well, then I guess it must have felt 
                         new because everything leading up to 
                         it was so different.

               INT. GAS STATION #1 - DAY

               Miles is pumping gas. Jack is stretching his legs nearby or 
               perhaps cleaning the windshield.

               A CELLPHONE RINGS. Jack reaches into his pocket.

                                     JACK
                              (looking at the phone)
                         It's Christine.
                              (snapping it open)
                         Hey you.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON PHONE)
                         You guys having fun?

               Christine's voice is so loud that Jack has to hold the phone 
               away from his ear.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah. All twenty minutes so far have 
                         been a blast.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Good. That's good.

               A silence, then --

                                     JACK
                         So what's up?

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Just seeing how you're doing. And, 
                         um, Mom and I were starting to look 
                         over the seating charts again, and 
                         we're wondering if you wanted Tony 
                         Levin to sit next to the Feldmans, 
                         or should he be at one of the singles 
                         tables?

               Jack looks at Miles in a mute appeal for sympathy.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         So what do you think? With the 
                         Feldmans?

               Jack hasn't even really heard the question.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah. The Feldmans.

               As the conversation continues, Miles replaces the GAS PUMP, 
               screws the GAS CAP back on, and together the guys get back 
               into the car. We DRIVE AWAY WITH THEM.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Really? Because I don't know, I was 
                         thinking that --

                                     JACK
                         Well, then put him at the singles 
                         table.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         The problem with that is that then 
                         there's one extra --

                                     JACK
                         Then put him with the Feldmans. 
                         Whatever you and your Mom decide is 
                         fine with me.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Don't dismiss me. I'm trying to 
                         include you in this decision. He's 
                         your friend.

                                     JACK
                         I didn't dismiss you. I told you 
                         what I thought, but it didn't seem 
                         to matter, so you decide. Besides, 
                         this is supposed to be my time with 
                         Miles. I hope you're not going to 
                         call every five minutes.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         I'm not going to call every five 
                         minutes, but this is important.

                                     JACK
                         Honey, I'm just saying you know I 
                         need a little space before the 
                         wedding. Isn't that the point of 
                         this? Isn't that what we talked about 
                         with Dr. Gertler?

               A silence. Then --

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Why are you being so defensive?

                                     JACK
                         I don't know, Christine. Perhaps 
                         it's because I feel attacked.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         I ask you one simple question, and 
                         suddenly I'm attacking you.

                                     JACK
                         Listen. I'll call you when we get 
                         there, and we can talk about it then, 
                         okay?

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Bye.

                                     JACK
                         I love you.

                                     CHRISTINE (ON THE PHONE)
                         Bye.

               Jack SLAMS his cellphone shut, momentarily blinded with rage.

                                     MILES
                         Tony Levin? Why did you fucking invite 
                         Tony Levin?

               EXT. 405 FREEWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

               The Saab heads north -- now passing through LOS ANGELES.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - LATE AFTERNOON

               Miles signals and begins to head for an EXIT.

                                     JACK
                         Whoa, why are we getting off?

                                     MILES
                         I've just got to make one quick stop. 
                         Won't take a second.  

                                     JACK
                         What?

                                     MILES
                         I thought we could just say a quick 
                         hello to my mother.

                                     JACK
                         Your mother? Jesus, Miles, we were 
                         supposed to be up there hours ago.

                                     MILES
                         It's her birthday tomorrow. And I 
                         don't feel right driving by her house 
                         and not stopping in, okay? It'll 
                         just take a second. She's right off 
                         the freeway.

               EXT. 101 FREEWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

               The Saab takes an EXIT.

                                     JACK (O.S.)
                         How old's she going to be?

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                         Um... seventy... something.

                                     JACK (O.S.)
                         That's a good age.

               OMIT.

               OMIT. 

               EXT. CONDO COMMUNITY STREET - DUSK

               The Saab rounds a corner and parks in front of a modest CONDO.

               SUPERIMPOSE:

                                    OXNARD, CALIFORNIA

               EXT. MILES'S MOTHER'S CONDO - DUSK

               Approaching the front door, Miles pulls a BOUQUET OF FLOWERS 
               out of a plastic grocery store bag. Jack carries a bottle of 
               CHAMPAGNE.

               Miles pulls a BIRTHDAY CARD out of the bag too.

                                     MILES
                         Wait a second.

               He pulls a PEN from his pocket and signs it. As he licks the 
               envelope, Jack rings the bell.

               Moments later PHYLLIS comes to the door. She is a matronly 
               older woman in a nightgown and housecoat.

                                     MILES AND JACK
                         Surprise! Happy Birthday!

               The boys offer up the flowers and champagne. Phyllis slurs 
               slightly as she speaks -- she's been doing some celebrating 
               of her own.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         My God. Miles. And Jack! What a 
                         surprise. I can't remember the last 
                         time you brought me flowers.

               They hug.

                                     JACK
                         They're from both of us.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         A famous actor bringing me flowers 
                         on my birthday. Don't I feel special?

                                     MILES
                         A famous actor who's getting married 
                         next week.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Oh, that's right. Isn't that nice? I 
                         hope that girls knows how lucky she 
                         is, marrying no less than Derek 
                         Summersby.

               The boys follow her inside.

               INT. MILES'S MOTHER'S CONDO - CONTINUOUS

                                     JACK
                         Jeez, Mrs. Raymond, that was eleven 
                         years ago.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Well, you were wonderful on that 
                         show. I never understood why they 
                         had to give you that brain tumor so 
                         soon. Why that didn't make you the 
                         biggest movie star in the world is a 
                         sin. It's a sin.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, well, you should be my agent.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         If I was, I would sing your praises 
                         up and down the street until they 
                         put me in the loony bin. Now Miles, 
                         why didn't you tell me you were coming 
                         and bringing this handsome man? Look 
                         how I'm dressed. I've got to run and 
                         put my face on.  

                                     JACK
                         You look fabulous, Mrs. Raymond.

                                     PHYLLIS
                              (over her shoulder)
                         Oh, stop it. Make yourselves 
                         comfortable.
                              (now around the corner)
                         You boys hungry?

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, I'm hungry.

               Jack gives Miles a look.

                                     MILES
                              (low)
                         Just a snack. Calm down.

               Miles leads Jack into this small condo. The TV is on, and 
               it's MESSY. Amid the newspapers and junk mail and dishes, an 
               AB-ROLLER and an ancient SCHWINN EXER-CYCLE sit forgotten in 
               a corner.

               INT. MILES'S MOTHER'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Miles finishes twisting ice trays into a MOP BUCKET as it 
               fills with water in the sink. He puts the champagne in and 
               carries it into the --

               INT. MILES'S MOTHER'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

               He takes a seat on the sofa next to Jack, who is watching 
               WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?

                                     MILES
                         Let me show you something. The secret 
                         to opening champagne is that once 
                         the cork is released, you keep 
                         pressure on it so you don't --

                                     JACK
                              (concentrated on the 
                              TV)
                         Just a second. Guy's going for $2500.

               Miles finishes opening the bottle with an elegant silence.

                                     PHYLLIS (O.S.)
                         Ready for my close up!

               The boys turn to see Phyllis now dolled up in thick make-up 
               and a PANTSUIT. Her eyebrows are painted and cock-eyed. 
               Overall she looks much worse than before.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Oh, champagne! Miles, why don't you 
                         bring that out onto the lanai? I 
                         thought we could eat on the lanai.

               EXT. MILES'S MOTHER'S LANAI - NIGHT

               Miles and Jack are seated in webbed chairs around a circular 
               glass table. They are mid-meal.

               Everyone is more than a little lubricated, especially the 
               birthday girl as she returns from the kitchen with another 
               plate of food.

                                     JACK
                         Mrs. Raymond, this is delicious. 
                         Absolutely delicious.

                                     PHYLLIS
                              (sitting)
                         They're just leftovers.

                                     JACK
                         Is it chicken?

                                     PHYLLIS
                         I could have made something fancier 
                         if a certain someone had let me know 
                         that a certain someone was coming 
                         for a visit with a certain special 
                         friend. Could have made a pork roast.

                                     MILES
                         It was a surprise, Mom.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         And I could have already put clean 
                         sheets on the other bed and the fold-
                         out. You are staying. Wendy, Ron and 
                         the twins are picking us up at 11:30 
                         to go to brunch at the Sheraton. 
                         They do a magnificent job there. 
                         Wendy is so excited you're coming.

               Silence. Jack freezes, his fork halfway to his mouth.

                                     MILES
                         You talked to Wendy?

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Just now. She's thrilled. And the 
                         kids.

                                     MILES
                              (trying to be chipper)
                         Yeah, well. You know, Jack's pretty 
                         eager to get up to... you know, but, 
                         uh, yeah. We'll see how it goes.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Well, you boys do what you want. I 
                         just think it would be nice for us 
                         to be together as a family on my 
                         birthday.

                                     MILES
                         Uh-huh.
                              (wiping his mouth)
                         I'll be right back.

               He gets up and heads into the house.

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT

               Miles heads toward...

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT

               ...and goes directly to her dresser, opening a drawer filled 
               with bras, panties and stockings.

               He burrows through his mother's lingerie until locating a 
               CAN OF RAID. A can of Raid?

               He twists open the bottom and pulls it apart, revealing it 
               to be a SECRET STASH for valuables disguised as a common 
               household product. Inside are stacks of ONE-HUNDRED DOLLAR 
               BILLS.

                                     MILES
                              (quickly peeling some 
                              off)
                         ...six, seven, eight,...
                              (one more for good 
                              luck)
                         Nine.

               His task complete, he closes the drawer, and as he stuffs 
               the bills in his pocket, his glance falls upon FRAMED PHOTOS 
               atop the dresser --

               -- A proud NINE-YEAR-OLD MILES poses in front of his childhood 
               San Diego home, showing off a WAGON filled with freshly 
               harvested lettuce. On the wagon is a hand-lettered sign --
               "10 cents a bunch."

               -- A Sears portrait shows the RAYMOND FAMILY: a much younger 
               Phyllis, her husband, and their two children -- a 12-year-
               old Miles and seven-year-old Wendy.

               -- Miles at his wedding. He and his bride VICTORIA look young 
               and attractive, their faces radiant and hopeful.

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT BATHROOM - NIGHT

               Miles enters, flushes the toilet and leaves.

               EXT. MILES'S MOTHER'S LANAI - NIGHT

               As Miles slides open the door and takes his seat again, Jack 
               is pouring Phyllis another glass.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         And what was that other one you did, 
                         the one where you're the jogger?

                                     JACK
                         Oh, that was for, uh, wait... That 
                         was for Spray and Wash.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         Spray and Wash. That's the one.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, I remember the girl who was in 
                         it with me. She was something.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         I just remember you jogging. So when's 
                         the wedding?

                                     MILES
                              (irritated)
                         This Saturday, Mom, remember? We 
                         told you.

                                     JACK
                         And Miles is my best man, Mrs. 
                         Raymond. My main man.

                                     PHYLLIS
                              (another drink of 
                              wine)
                         Miles, when are you going to get 
                         married again?

                                     MILES
                         I just got divorced. Phyllis.

                                     JACK
                         Two years ago, buddy.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         You should get back together with 
                         Victoria. She was good for you.

               Embarrassed for his friend, Jack just stares at his food.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         She was good for you.
                              (turning to Jack)
                         And so beautiful and intelligent. 
                         You knew her, right?

                                     JACK
                         Oh, yeah. Real well. Still do.

                                     PHYLLIS
                         I'm worried about you, Miles. Do you 
                         need some money?

                                     MILES
                         I'm fine.

               Miles takes another drink of wine.

                                                              CUT TO BLACK:

               UNDER BLACK, a CARD --

                                          SUNDAY

                                     MILES (O.S.)
                         Jack. Jack.

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT BEDROOM - DAY

               Jack finally awakens with a start and finds Miles standing 
               above him, shaking him.

               WIDE --

               As Jack gets up, we see he has crashed on Phyllis's bed 
               adorned with all her decorative PILLOWS.

               INT. MILES'S MOTHER'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

               Still in her pantsuit and smeared makeup, Phyllis lies 
               sprawled and snoring on the sofa. On the TV, ostensibly never 
               turned off the night before, is an inane CARTOON.

               As Miles opens the front door, he spots Jack heading toward 
               the TV to turn it off. Miles waves him off.

                                     MILES
                              (a loud whisper)
                         She'll wake up.

               As they leave and Miles closes the front door quietly behind 
               him, we PAN to the flowers still wrapped and forgotten on a 
               side table.

               INT. ROADSIDE IHOP - DAY

               TWO PLATES OF FOOD float in front of two breasts tucked inside 
               a zippered uniform.

               WIDER --

               Disheveled and unshaven, Jack and Miles are served breakfast 
               by a young, innocently sexy WAITRESS. Jack leers after her.

                                     JACK
                         Fuck, man. Too early in the morning 
                         for that, you know what I mean?

                                     MILES
                         She's a kid, Jack. I don't even look 
                         at that stuff anymore.

                                     JACK
                         That's your problem, Miles.

                                     MILES
                         As if she'd even be attracted to 
                         guys like us in the first place.

                                     JACK
                         Speak for yourself. I get chicks 
                         looking at me all the time. All ages.

                                     MILES
                         It's not worth it. You pay too big a 
                         price. It's never free.

               They eat in silence a moment.

                                     JACK
                         You need to get laid.

               Miles shrugs off the comment.

                                     JACK
                         It'd be the best thing for you. You 
                         know what? I'm going to get you laid 
                         this week. That's going to be my 
                         best man gift to you. I'm not going 
                         to give you a pen knife or a gift 
                         certificate or any of that other 
                         horseshit.

                                     MILES
                         I'd rather have a knife.

                                     JACK
                         No. No. You've been officially 
                         depressed for like two years now, 
                         and you were always a negative guy 
                         anyway, even in college. Now it's 
                         worse -- you're wasting away. Teaching 
                         English to fucking eighth-graders 
                         when they should be reading what you 
                         wrote. Your books.

                                     MILES
                         I'm working on it.

               Miles concentrates on his eggs and hash browns

                                     JACK
                         You still seeing that shrink?

                                     MILES
                         I went on Monday. But I spent most 
                         of the time helping him with his 
                         computer.

                                     JACK
                         Well, I say fuck therapy and what's 
                         that stuff you take, Xanax?

                                     MILES
                         And Lexapro, yes.

                                     JACK
                         Well, I say fuck that. You need to 
                         get your joint worked on, that's 
                         what you need.

                                     MILES
                         Jack. This week is not about me. 
                         It's about you. I'm going to show 
                         you a good time. We're going to drink 
                         a lot of good wine, play some golf, 
                         eat some great food, enjoy the scenery 
                         and send you off in style.

                                     JACK
                         And get your bone smooched.

               Jack spots the waitress coming out of the kitchen and motions 
               for more coffee. She nods and smiles, indicating she'll be 
               right over. Jack returns the smile and holds up a hand to 
               signal he'll wait. Jack turns back to see Miles watching 
               him.

                                     JACK
                         What?

               EXT. CENTRAL COAST - DAY

               In a series of shots, the Saab -- now with its TOP DOWN --
               makes its way onto the 101 and travels past landmarks that 
               those familiar with the Santa Barbara area might recognize.

               MUSIC accompanies this sequence that anchors us into the 
               rhythm of a road trip.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               The car now descends the Santa Ynez Mountains and heads toward 
               Buellton. Miles and Jack must SHOUT to be heard in the open 
               car.

                                     MILES
                         You know what? Let's take the Santa 
                         Rosa turnoff and hit Sanford first.

                                     JACK
                         Whatever's closest, man. I need a 
                         glass.

                                     MILES
                         These guys make top-notch Pinot and 
                         Chardonnay. One of the best producers 
                         in Santa Barbara county.
                              (looking out the window)
                         Look how beautiful this view is. 
                         What a day!

                                     JACK
                         I thought you hated Chardonnay.

                                     MILES
                         I like all varietals. I just don't 
                         generally like the way they manipulate 
                         Chardonnay in California -- too much 
                         oak and secondary malolactic 
                         fermentation.

               EXT. SANTA ROSA TURN-OFF - DAY

               The Saab passes over the 101 and turns onto SANTA ROSA road.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               The boys now pass vineyards of immaculate grapevines.

                                     MILES
                         Jesus, what a day! Isn't it gorgeous? 
                         And the ocean's just right over that 
                         ridge. See, the reason this region's 
                         great for Pinot is that the cold air 
                         off the Pacific flows in at night 
                         through these transverse valleys and 
                         cools down the berries. Pinot's a 
                         very thin-skinned grape and doesn't 
                         like heat or humidity.

               Jack looks at Miles, admiring his friend's vast learning and 
               articulateness.

               The Saab now pulls of the road and makes its way down a long 
               gravel DRIVEWAY.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, Miles. I really hope your novel 
                         sells.

                                     MILES
                         Thanks, Jack. So do I.
                              (noticing)
                         Here we are.

               EXT. SANFORD TASTING ROOM - DAY

               Miles brings the car to a stop in the parking lot. As they 
               get out and walk --

                                     MILES
                         So what'd you guys finally decide on 
                         for the menu?

                                     JACK
                         I told you. Filet and salmon.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, but how are they making the 
                         salmon? Poached with a yogurt-dill 
                         sauce? Teriyaki? Curry?

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Salmon. Don't you always 
                         have white wine with fish?

                                     MILES
                         Oh, Jesus. Look, at some point we 
                         have to find out because it's going 
                         to make a big difference.

                                     JACK
                              (taking out his phone)
                         Let me call Christine.

                                     MILES
                         Doesn't have to be now. Let's go 
                         taste.

                                     JACK
                         I owe her a call anyway.

               Miles must curb his eagerness to go inside the tasting room 
               as Jack SPEED DIALS.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, honey. So we're up here about 
                         to taste some whites, and we need to 
                         know how the caterers are going to 
                         make the salmon.

               Jack listens, then grows suddenly impatient.

                                     JACK
                         No, I know, I didn't forget, but we 
                         wound up at Miles's mom's house, and 
                         it got really late, and it was hard 
                         to call, so I'm calling you now. I 
                         said I was sorry. Yes, I did.
                              (to Miles)
                         You heard me say I was sorry, right?

               Miles just shrugs.

                                     JACK
                         Miles heard me say I was sorry.

               As Jack gets more and more involved with the phone call, he 
               wanders off across the parking lot, progressively out of 
               earshot.

                                     JACK
                         Give me a break, will you? I just 
                         called to find out about the salmon -- 
                         for our wedding -- to be more 
                         involved, like you said -- and all 
                         you want to do is get into it about 
                         last night and, okay, I'm sorry. I'm 
                         sorry I didn't call. You're totally 
                         right. I know, but I'm trying to 
                         make this the best wedding I can 
                         with the best wine we can find. Don't 
                         I get any credit for that? Okay. 
                         Look, I've got to go. I'm out here 
                         in the parking lot, and Miles is 
                         waiting for me...

               And so it goes, Jack's voice rising and falling. Miles decides 
               to head inside.

               INT. SANFORD TASTING ROOM - DAY

               Miles is at the bar, TWO GLASSES in front of him. Jack walks 
               in and bellies up next to him.

                                     JACK
                              (proudly)
                         Baked with a butter-lime glaze.

                                     MILES
                         Now we're talking.

               CHRIS BURROUGHS, a POURER in a cowboy hat and ponytail, comes 
               over.

                                     CHRIS
                         This is the condemned man?

                                     MILES
                         Here he is. Jack, Chris. Chris, Jack.

               Chris and Jack shake hands.

                                     JACK
                         How you doing?

                                     CHRIS
                         You guys want to start with the Vin 
                         Gris?

                                     JACK
                         Sounds good.

               TWO GLASSES are filled with small amounts of PINOT NOIR VIN 
               GRIS.

                                     JACK
                         This is rose, right?

                                     MILES
                         Good, yeah, it is a rose. Only this 
                         one is rather atypically made from 
                         100% Pinot Noir.

                                     JACK
                         Pinot noir? Not again!
                              (joking, to Chris)
                         You know, not all Pinots are noir.

               They laugh.

               Miles swirls his glass in tight circles on the bar, then 
               lifts it to smell. Jack clumsily imitates Miles, perhaps 
               even spilling some wine in the process.

                                     MILES
                         Let me show you.

               We see details of what Miles now describes.

                                     MILES
                         First take your glass and examine 
                         the wine against the light. You're 
                         looking at color and clarity.

                                     JACK
                         What color is it supposed to be?

                                     MILES
                         Depends on the varietal. Just get a 
                         sense of it. Thick? Thin? Watery? 
                         Syrupy? Inky? Amber, whatever...

                                     JACK
                         Huh.

                                     MILES
                         Now tip it. What you're doing here 
                         is checking for color density as it 
                         thins toward the rim. Tells you how 
                         old it is, among other things, usually 
                         more important with reds. This is a 
                         very young wine, so it's going to 
                         retain its color pretty solidly. Now 
                         stick your nose in it.

               Jack waves the glass under his nose as if it were a perfume 
               bottle.

                                     MILES
                         Don't be shy. Get your nose in there.

               Jack now buries his nose in the glass.

                                     MILES
                         What do you smell?

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Wine? Fermented grapes?

               Miles smells.

                                     MILES
                         There's not much there yet, but you 
                         can still find...
                              (more sniffs)
                         ...a little citrus... maybe some 
                         strawberry... passion fruit... and 
                         there's even a hint of like 
                         asparagus... or like a nutty Edam 
                         cheese.

               Jack smells again and begins to brighten.

                                     JACK
                         Huh. Maybe a little strawberry. Yeah, 
                         strawberry. I'm not so sure about 
                         the cheese.

                                     MILES
                         Now set your glass down and get some 
                         air into it.

               Miles expertly swirls the wine. Jack follows suit.

                                     MILES
                         Oxygenating it opens it up, unlocks 
                         the aroma and the flavors. Very 
                         important. Now we smell again.

               They do so. Jack smiles.

                                     MILES
                         That's what you do with every one.

                                     JACK
                         When do we get to drink it?

                                     MILES
                         Now.

               Jack gulps his wine down in one shot. Miles chews his before 
               swallowing.

                                     JACK
                         How would you rate this one?

                                     MILES
                         Usually they start you on the wines 
                         with learning disabilities, but this 
                         one's pretty damn good.
                              (to Chris)
                         This is the new one, right, Chris?

                                     CHRIS
                         Released it about two months ago.

                                     MILES
                         Nice job.

                                     CHRIS
                         We like it.

                                     JACK
                              (to Miles)
                         You know, you could work in a wine 
                         store.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, that would be a good move.

               Now Miles notices something about Jack.

                                     MILES
                         Are you chewing gum?

                                     JACK
                         Want some?

               EXT. SOLVANG, CALIFORNIA - DAY

               The Saab passes through this Danish-themed tourist town. 

               SUPERIMPOSE --

                                         SOLVANG

               EXT. BUELLTON, CALIFORNIA - DAY

               The Saab makes its way into this very average-looking Central 
               coast town right off the freeway.

               SUPERIMPOSE --

                                         BUELLTON

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - DAY

               The Saab pulls into the parking lot of this motel. And look --
               there's the WINDMILL itself, its decorative blades motionless.  

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               Miles and Jack enter the room and throw their suitcases onto 
               their respective beds.

               LATER --

               The sounds of a SHOWER and OFF-KEY SINGING come from the 
               bathroom while Miles sits impatiently on the bed. He pounds 
               on the wall.

                                     MILES
                         Hey Jack, hurry up!

                                     JACK (O.S.)
                         Just a minute!

               Opening the bedside drawer, Miles finds a GIDEON'S BIBLE and 
               tosses it in the trash -- apparently his hotel routine.

               EXT. HIGHWAY 246 - DUSK

               Freshly showered and dressed for dinner, Miles and Jack amble 
               along the shoulder of this busy local two-lane highway. They 
               pass a mall and a car dealership.

                                     JACK
                         I thought you said it was close. Now 
                         I'm all pitted out.

                                     MILES
                         It's not even a mile.

                                     JACK
                         We should have driven.

                                     MILES
                         Not with the wine list these people 
                         have. We don't want to hold back.

                                     JACK
                         You think I'm making a mistake 
                         marrying Christine?

                                     MILES
                         Whoa.

                                     JACK
                         Come on, do you think I'm doing the 
                         right thing? Tell the truth. You've 
                         been through it.

                                     MILES
                         Well, you waited for good reason, 
                         and you proposed to Christine for 
                         some good reason. So I think it's 
                         great. It's time. You've got to have 
                         your eyes open, that's all. I mean, 
                         look at me. I thought Victoria and I 
                         were set for life.

                                     JACK
                         Christine's dad -- he's been talking 
                         about bringing me into his property 
                         business. Showing me the ropes. And 
                         that's something, considering how 
                         long it took him to get over I'm not 
                         Armenian. So I'm thinking about it. 
                         But I don't know, might get a little 
                         incestuous. But Mike does pretty 
                         well. A lot of high-end commercial 
                         stuff.

                                     MILES
                         So you're going to stop acting?

                                     JACK
                         No way. This would just provide some 
                         stability is what I'm saying. I can 
                         always squeeze in an audition or a 
                         commercial here and there, you know, 
                         keep myself in the game in case 
                         something big comes along.

                                     MILES
                         Uh-huh.

                                     JACK
                         We're not getting any younger, right? 
                         And my career, well, it's gotten 
                         pretty, you know, frustrating. Even 
                         with my new manager. Maybe it's time 
                         to settle down.

                                     MILES
                         If that's what feels right.

                                     JACK
                              (convincing himself)
                         It does. Feels right.

                                     MILES
                         Then it's a good thing.

                                     JACK
                              (nodding, feeling 
                              better)
                         Yeah. It's good. Feels good.

               Miles leads them away from the road and across a parking 
               lot. The camera PANS to reveal --

               THE HITCHING POST, a local institution.

               INT. HITCHING POST BAR - DUSK

               Miles and Jack belly up. GARY, the Samoan bartender, spots 
               Miles and extends a welcoming hand.

                                     GARY
                         Hey, Miles. Long time no see.

                                     MILES
                         Gary.

                                     GARY
                         When's that novel of yours coming 
                         out?  We  all want to read it.

                                     MILES
                         Soon, soon. Say, this is my buddy 
                         Jack. He's getting married next week.

                                     GARY
                              (shaking Jack's hand)
                         My condolences.

                                     MILES
                         What are you pouring tonight?

                                     GARY
                         Lot of good stuff.
                              (looking at a row of 
                              bottles)
                         Got the new Bien Nacido. Want a taste?

                                     MILES
                         Absolutement.
                              (to Jack)
                         They have their own label that's 
                         just outstanding.

               Gary pours Jack and Miles a generous sample and the two men 
               swirl, sniff and taste. Jack is beginning to get the hang of 
               things.

                                     GARY
                         What do you think?

                                     MILES
                         Tight as a nun's asshole but qood 
                         concentration. Nice fruit.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah. Tight.

                                     MILES
                              (to Gary)
                         Pour us a couple.

               Gary fills their glasses and corks the bottle. Jack raises 
               his glass to toast.

                                     JACK
                         Here's to my last week of freedom.

                                     MILES
                         It's going to be great. Here's to 
                         us.

               They clink their glasses and take a drink. We linger on them 
               as Miles retreats inward and a restless Jack scans the room.

               INT. HITCHING POST DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               Jack and Miles review their menus. Jack looks up and spots a 
               PRETTY WAITRESS placing an order at the bar.

                                     JACK
                         Miles. Check it out.

               Miles glances at the waitress and returns to his menu.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, yeah. That's Maya.

                                     JACK
                         You know her?

                                     MILES
                         Sure I know Maya.

                                     JACK
                         You know that chick?

                                     MILES
                         Jack, this is where I eat when I 
                         come up here. It's practically my 
                         office. And sometimes I have a drink 
                         with the employees. Maya's great. 
                         She's worked here about a year, maybe 
                         a year and a half.

                                     JACK
                         She is very hot.

                                     MILES
                         And very nice. And very married. 
                         Check out the rock.

               Jack leans forward and squints.

                                     JACK
                         Doesn't mean shit. When Christine 
                         was a hostess at Sushi Roku, she 
                         wore a big engagement ring to keep 
                         guys from hitting on her. Think it 
                         worked? Fuck no. How do you think I 
                         met her?

                                     MILES
                         This gal's married to I think a 
                         Philosophy professor at UC Santa 
                         Barbara.

                                     JACK
                         So what's a professor's wife doing 
                         waitressing? Obviously that's over.

                                     MILES
                         You don't know anything about this 
                         woman. Calm down. Let's just eat, 
                         okay?
                              (focusing on the menu)
                         The duck is excellent and pairs nicely 
                         with the Highliner Pinot.

               Just then Maya comes by carrying a tray of food on her way 
               to another table.

                                     MAYA
                         Hey, Miles. Good to see you.

                                     MILES
                         Maya, how are you?

                                     MAYA
                         I'm doing good, good. You look great. 
                         Did you lose some weight?

                                     MILES
                         Oh, no, actually. Busy night.

                                     MAYA
                         Oh yeah, Sunday night. You guys been 
                         out tasting today?

                                     MILES
                         You know it. This is my friend Jack. 
                         Jack, Maya.

                                     JACK
                              (big smile)
                         Hiya.

                                     MAYA
                              (smiling back)
                         Hi. Well, nice to see you guys here. 
                         Bye, Miles.

               She goes.

                                     JACK
                         Jesus, she's jammin'. And she likes 
                         you. What else do you know about 
                         her?

                                     MILES
                         Well, she does know a lot about wine.

                                     JACK
                         Ooooooohh. Now we're getting 
                         somewhere.

                                     MILES
                         And she likes Pinot.

                                     JACK
                         Perfect.

                                     MILES
                         Jack, she's a fucking waitress in 
                         Buellton. How would that ever work?

                                     JACK
                         Why do you always focus on the 
                         negative? Didn't you see how friendly 
                         she was to you?

                                     MILES
                         She works for tips!

                                     JACK
                         You're blind, dude. Blind.

               Miles focuses again on the menu.

                                     MILES
                         I also recommend the ostrich. Very 
                         lean. Locally raised.

               INT. HITCHING POST BAR - NIGHT

               TWO BURGUNDY GLASSES --

               are refilled with the contents of yet another bottle of 
               Hitching Post Pinot Noir.

               Jack and Miles are enjoying a post-prandial drink.

               MILES

               Looks like he's thinking about something. Then --

                                     MILES
                         I hate Tony Levin.

               Jack swirls his wine and downs it in one gulp. Just then --

               MAYA

               Walks into the bar and takes a seat a few stools down. She 
               has changed into a black cashmere sweater and corduroys, 
               lovely but tired.

                                     MAYA
                              (to Gary)
                         Highliner, please.

                                     JACK
                         That's on us.

               Maya looks over and smiles as Gary pours her a glass from 
               their bottle.

                                     MAYA
                         Hey, guys.

               Maya gets an American Spirit Yellow out of her purse and 
               lights it while Gary pours her a glass.

                                     MILES
                         You want to join us?

                                     MAYA
                              (polite)
                         Sure.

               In no hurry, she takes a long sip of her wine, gets up and 
               comes down the bar.

                                     MAYA
                         So how's that book of yours going, 
                         Miles? I think you were almost done 
                         with it last time we talked.

                                     MILES
                         I finished it.

                                     MAYA
                         Good for you.

                                     JACK
                         It's getting published. That's what 
                         we're up here celebrating.

               Miles shoots Jack a look. Jack responds with a "don't-fuck- 
               it-up-brother" glower.

                                     MAYA
                         That's fantastic. Congratulations.

               She offers her glass, and all clink.

                                     MAYA
                              (to Jack)
                         Are you a writer too?

                                     JACK
                         No, I'm an actor.

                                     MAYA
                         Oh yeah? What kind of stuff?

                                     JACK
                         A lot of TV. I was a regular on a 
                         couple of series. And lately I've 
                         been doing a lot of commercials. 
                         National mostly.

                                     MAYA
                         Anything I'd know?

                                     JACK
                         Maybe. Recognize this?

               Jack takes a deep breath, and out comes a perfect VOICE-OVER 
               VOICE.

                                     JACK
                         "Now with low, low 5.8% APR 
                         financing."

               Maya's mouth drops open and curves into a big smile.

                                     MAYA
                         That's hilarious. You sound just 
                         like one of those guys.

                                     JACK
                         I am one of those guys.

                                     MAYA
                         You are not.

                                     MILES
                         He is.

               Jack launches into another one of his sure-fire hits.

                                     JACK
                              (very fast)
                         Consult your doctor before using 
                         this product. Side effects may include 
                         oily discharge, dizziness, hives, 
                         loss of appetite, difficulty breathing 
                         and low blood pressure. If you have 
                         diabetes or a history of kidney 
                         trouble... you're fucked!

               This makes Maya laugh a big throaty laugh. Jack joins in. 
               Nervous about Jack's aggressive flirtatiousness, Miles musters 
               a tight courtesy smile.

                                     MAYA
                              (winding down)
                         Oh. I needed that. Thank you.

               They all take a drink of wine.

                                     MAYA
                         So what are you guys up to tonight?

               Before Jack has a chance to speak --

                                     MILES
                         We're pretty wiped. Probably go back 
                         to the hotel and crash.

               This makes Maya slightly embarrassed at her apparent 
               availability, but she recovers quickly, remains breezy.

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah, I know what you mean. It's a 
                         long drive up here. Where're you 
                         staying?

                                     MILES
                         The Windmill.

                                     JACK
                         Windmill.

               Maya downs the rest of her wine, stamps out her smoke, and 
               picks up her jean jacket and purse.

                                     MAYA
                         Well, good to see you, Miles. Jack.

                                     MILES
                         See you.

               As she leaves --

                                     JACK
                         We'll catch up with you later, okay?

               But she's gone. Jack gives Miles a slow burn look.

                                     JACK
                         We'll probably go back to the hotel 
                         and crash?

               EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

               The guys walk drunkenly along the shoulder as CARS WHIZ BY.

                                     JACK
                         The girl is looking to party, and 
                         you tell her we're going to go back 
                         to our motel room and crash? Jesus, 
                         Miles!

                                     MILES
                         Well, I'm tired. Aren't you tired?

                                     JACK
                         The chick digs you. She lit up like 
                         a pinball machine when she heard 
                         your novel was getting published.

                                     MILES
                         Now I've got another lie to live 
                         down. Thanks, Jack.

                                     JACK
                         I'm trying to get you some action, 
                         but you've got to help me out just a 
                         little bit.

                                     MILES
                         Didn't seem to me like that's what 
                         was going on. You were all over her.

                                     JACK
                         Somebody had to do the talking. And 
                         by the way, I was right. She's not 
                         married.

                                     MILES
                         How do you know?

                                     JACK
                         No rock. When she came to the bar, 
                         sans rock.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

               The screen is absolutely BLACK.

                                     JACK
                         Single. Waitress. Getting off work. 
                         Looking for love. A little slap and 
                         tickle.

                                     MILES
                         Shut up.

                                     JACK
                         She probably went home, lit some 
                         candles, put on some relaxing music, 
                         took a nice hot bath, and laid down 
                         on her bed with her favorite vibrator.

               Jack begins to make a soft BUZZING noise, growing gradually 
               louder and more rhythmic.

                                     MILES
                         Have you no shame?

                                     JACK
                         Oooh. Oh. Miles. Miles.

                                     MILES
                         Fuck you.

               There's now a rustling noise and footsteps. Then a LIGHT is 
               flipped on in the BATHROOM.

               Miles closes the door behind him, and the only light visible 
               is at the bottom of the bathroom door.

               Miles PEES -- a series of semi-forced SHORT SQUIRTS. Then a 
               FLUSH as a door opens and the light goes off. Jack starts 
               BUZZING again.

                                     MILES
                         Shut the fuck up!

               Jack stops and Miles climbs into bed. Silence. Then --

                                     JACK
                         You need to get your prostate checked.

               UNDER BLACK --

                                          MONDAY

               EXT. BREAKFAST CAFE - DAY

               Establishing.

               INT. BREAKFAST CAFE - DAY

               Miles and Jack are glancing at the menus. For some reason 
               Jack is humorless and grumpy.

                                     MILES
                         So what're we going to have? Pigs in 
                         a blanket? The "rancher's special 
                         breakfast"? Or maybe just some grease 
                         and fat with a side of lard?

                                     JACK
                              (not amused)
                         So what's the plan today?

                                     MILES
                         We head north, begin the grape tour 
                         up there, make our way south so the 
                         more we drink the closer we get to 
                         the motel.

               Jack sarcastically taps an index finger to his temple.

                                     MILES
                         What's your problem?

               Jack exhales and looks away, as though he doesn't want to 
               get into it.

                                     MILES
                         What is it?

               Jack sucks his teeth a moment searching for the right words. 
               Then the dam bursts.

                                     JACK
                         I am going to get my nut on this 
                         trip, Miles. And you are not going 
                         to fuck it up for me with all your 
                         depression and anxiety and neg-head 
                         downer shit.

                                     MILES
                         Ooooh, now the cards are on the table.

                                     JACK
                         Yes they are. And I'm serious. Do 
                         not fuck with me. I am going to get 
                         laid before I settle down on Saturday. 
                         Do you read me?

                                     MILES
                         Sure, big guy. Whatever you say. 
                         It's your party. I'm sorry I'm in 
                         the way and dragging you down. Maybe 
                         you'd have a better time on your 
                         own. You take the car. I'll catch 
                         the train back.

                                     JACK
                         No, see, I want both of us to get 
                         crazy. We should both be cutting 
                         loose. I mean, this is our last 
                         chance. This is our week! It should 
                         be something we share.

               The older WAITRESS comes over.

                                     WAITRESS
                         Can I take your order?

                                     JACK
                         But I am warning you.

                                     MILES
                         Oatmeal, one poached egg, and rye 
                         toast. Dry.

                                     WAITRESS
                         Okay. And you?

                                     JACK
                              (glaring at Miles)
                         Pigs in a blanket. With extra syrup.

               EXT. LOVELY HIGHWAY - DAY

               The Saab winds along this beautiful road that meanders through 
               large open vineyards.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               INSERT --

               A MAP and a MOVING LINE show the boys' route.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               INSERT --

               GRAPES growing on the vine.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               EXT. VINEYARD - DAY

               Framed by foreground grapevines, the Saab passes in the 
               distance.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. FOXEN WINERY - DAY

               Miles has just downed a taste of red wine.

                                     MILES
                         How much skin and stem contact?

                                     POURER
                         About four weeks.

                                     MILES
                         Huh. That explains all the tannins. 
                         And how long in oak?

                                     POURER
                         About a year.

                                     MILES
                         French or American?

                                     POURER
                         Both.

                                     MILES
                         Good stuff.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, oak. That's a good wood.

               Just as the pourer turns away toward other TASTERS, Jack 
               GRABS the bottle and helps himself and Miles to another glass. 
               They slam back their drinks like tequila.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               EXT. LOVELY AREA ON A HILL - DAY

               Miles brings the Saab to a stop, and the guys get out. Before 
               them lies an incredible view of endless vineyards.

                                     MILES
                         Nice, huh?

                                     JACK
                         Beautiful.

                                     MILES
                         Victoria and I used to like this 
                         view.
                              (lost in nostalgia)
                         Once we had a picnic here and drank 
                         a '95 Opus One. With smoked salmon 
                         and artichokes, but we didn't care.

                                     JACK
                         Miles.

                                     MILES
                         She has the best palate of any woman 
                         I've ever known. She could even 
                         differentiate Italian wines.

                                     JACK
                         Miles, I gotta tell you something. 
                         Victoria's coming to the wedding.

                                     MILES
                         I know. You told me. I'm okay with 
                         it.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, but that's not the whole story. 
                         She got remarried.

                                     MILES
                         She what?
                              (long pause)
                         When?

                                     JACK
                         About a month ago. Six weeks.

                                     MILES
                         To that guy? That guy with the 
                         restaurant...

               Jack nods. Miles looks down at his shoes and draws a long 
               breath. Then he stiffly gets back in the open car and closes 
               the door.

                                     JACK
                         Miles... MILES...

               Miles continues to stare straight ahead.

                                     JACK
                              (exploding)
                         Jesus Christ, Miles. Get out!

                                     MILES
                         I want to go home now.

                                     JACK
                         You've been divorced for two years 
                         already. People move on. She has! 
                         It's like you enjoy self-pity. Makes 
                         you feel special or something.

                                     MILES
                         Is she bringing him to the wedding?

                                     JACK
                         What do you think?

                                     MILES
                         You drop this bombshell on me. Why 
                         didn't you tell me before?

                                     JACK
                         Because I knew you'd freak out and 
                         probably get so depressed you wouldn't 
                         even come on this trip. But then I 
                         figured here would be the best place 
                         to tell you. We're here to forget 
                         about all that shit. We're here to 
                         party!

                                     MILES
                              (undeterred)
                         I'm going to be a fucking pariah. 
                         Everyone's just going to be holding 
                         their breath to see if I'm going to 
                         get drunk and make a scene. Plus 
                         Tony fucking Levin?

                                     JACK
                         No, no, no. It's cool. I talked to 
                         Victoria. She's cool. Everyone's 
                         cool.

                                     MILES
                              (horrified)
                         You've all been talking about it? 
                         Behind my back? Talking about it?

               Miles turns and locates an open BOTTLE of wine in the back 
               seat. He uncorks it and begins to swig.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, hey, hey. No, you don't!

               Jack tries unsuccessfully to grab the bottle from Miles, but 
               Miles bolts out of the car.

               A VERY WIDE SHOT --

               Pursued by Jack, Miles dashes down the hill, all the while 
               taking huge swigs from the bottle.

               OMIT.

               EXT. LOVELY VINEYARD - CONTINUOUS

               Miles slows to walk between rows of GRAPEVINES. He polishes 
               off the bottle and tosses it. A painting Jack catches up 
               with him in the adjacent grapevine corridor.

               Miles's face crumbles as though he were about to cry. Then 
               he collapses to the ground and closes his eyes tight.

               Jack looks around impatiently for a moment. Then he squats 
               down so he can see Miles underneath the vines.

                                     JACK
                         Miles?

               Miles ignores Jack and focuses on the beautiful RIPE GRAPES 
               that surround him. They seem to distract him from his pain.

                                     JACK
                         You going to be okay?

               Miles looks up and shakes his head a definitive NO. Jack 
               can't help but LAUGH.

                                                               DISSOLVE TO:

               EXT. KALYRA WINERY PARKING LOT - DAY

               The sun hangs low as the Saab pulls into the parking lot, 
               Jack at the wheel.

               INT. KALYRA TASTING ROOM - DAY

               The pourer, a brunette in her early thirties, breaks away 
               from a BORING COUPLE down the bar. This is STEPHANIE.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Hey, guys. How's it going?

                                     JACK
                         Excellent. My friend and I are up 
                         here doing the wine tour, and he 
                         tells me that you folks make one 
                         hell of a Syrah.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         That's what people say.

                                     MILES
                              (slurring slightly)
                         You gotta excuse him. Yesterday he 
                         didn't know Pinot Noir from film 
                         noir.

                                     JACK
                         I'm a quick learner.

               Stephanie laughs. She apparently likes big good-natured lunks 
               like Jack.

                                     MILES
                         I'm trying to teach my friend here 
                         some basics about wine over the next 
                         few days before he goes off and --

               WHOOMP! Under the bar Jack stomps on Miles's foot. Miles 
               winces.

               Stephanie slides TWO GLASSES in front of them.

                                     JACK
                         That's right -- I'm here to learn. I 
                         never had that much interest in wine 
                         before, but this trip has been very 
                         enlightening. Always like wine, of 
                         course, but I don't know. More of a 
                         beer man, really. Microbreweries.

               She THUMPS the cork off a bottle of Chardonnay.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Well, no better way to learn than 
                         tasting.

               She pours almost flirtatious amounts.

                                     JACK
                         Now there's a girl who knows how to 
                         pour. What's your name?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Stephanie.

                                     JACK
                         Nice.

               Jack swirls the wine as though he were by now a sommelier. 
               They look, they smell, they taste.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         So what do you think?

                                     MILES
                         Quaffable but far from transcendent.

                                     JACK
                         I like it. Tastes great. Oaky.

               Stephanie reaches for another bottle and pours. Jack's eyes 
               never leave her.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Cabernet Franc.
                              (as they taste)
                         This is only the fifth year we've 
                         made this varietal. Very few wineries 
                         around here do a straight Cabernet 
                         Franc. It's from our vineyard up in 
                         Santa Maria. And it was a Silver 
                         Medal winner at Paso Robles last 
                         year.

                                     MILES
                         Well, I've come to never expect 
                         greatness from a Cab Franc, and this 
                         one's no exception. Sort of a flabby, 
                         overripe --

                                     JACK
                              (ignoring him)
                         Tastes good to me. You live around 
                         here, Stephanie?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         In Santa Ynez.
                              (low, to Miles)
                         And I agree with you about Cab Franc.

                                     JACK
                         Oh yeah? We're just over in Buellton. 
                         Windmill Inn.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Oh yeah.

                                     JACK
                         You know a gal named Maya? Works at 
                         the Hitching Post?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Sure I know Maya. Real well.

                                     JACK
                         No shit. We just had a drink with 
                         her last night. Miles knows her.

                                     MILES
                         Could we move on to the Syrah, please?

               As she turns to reach for the right bottle, Jack winks at 
               Miles. Miles shakes his head.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         This is our Estate Syrah...

               She pours each of them a full HALF GLASS.

                                     JACK
                         You're a bad, bad girl, Stephanie.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         I know. I might need to be spanked.

               She notices the boring couple, visibly annoyed that she has 
               been monopolized.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Excuse me.

               As she wanders down the bar, Jack turns to Miles, his mouth 
               wide open.

                                     JACK
                         A bad girl, Miles. She might need to 
                         be spanked.

                                     MILES
                         Do you know how often these pourers 
                         get hit on?

               They glance down the bar at Stepanie. She smiles back.

               EXT. KALYRA WINERY PARKING LOT - DAY

               Miles is killing time by the car staring at his shoes. He 
               looks over and sees Jack waddling over from the tasting room 
               with TWO CASES OF WINE.

                                     JACK
                         Get the trunk.

                                     MILES
                         You have the keys.

               Jack puts the cases down and glances back at the building.

                                     JACK
                         We're on.

                                     MILES
                         What?

                                     JACK
                         She called Maya, who's not working 
                         tonight, so we're all going out.

                                     MILES
                         With Maya?

                                     JACK
                         Been divorced for a year now, bud.

               Jack puts the wine in the trunk, and they get in the car.

                                     JACK
                         Stephanie, holy shit. Chick had it 
                         all going on.

                                     MILES
                         Well, she is cute.

                                     JACK
                         Cute? She's a fucking hottie. And 
                         you almost tell her I'm getting 
                         married. What's the matter with you?
                              (drumming on the 
                              steering wheel)
                         Gotta love it. Gotta love it.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               THE TV --

               GOLF on ESPN.

               MILES AND JACK

               sit transfixed, each on his own bed. The curtains are drawn. 
               Then out of nowhere --

                                     JACK
                              (mocking)
                         You know how often these pourers get 
                         hit on?
                              (getting up)
                         I'm going for a swim. Get the blood 
                         flowing. Want to come?

                                     MILES
                         Nah. I want to watch this.

               CLOSE ON THE TV --

               A guy gets ready to putt. The announcer whispers what an 
               important moment this is. The guy misses.

               FADE TO BLACK.

               UNDER BLACK --

               The sound of an AEROSOL CAN.

                                     JACK
                         Miles. Hey, Miles. Time to get up.

               WE OPEN OUR EYES TO SEE --

               Jack spraying his feet with some Dr. Scholl's product.

               WIDE --

               Miles pulls himself out of bed and slouches toward his 
               suitcase.

                                     JACK
                         Fucking chick in the Jacuzzi --
                         goddamn, Miles, fucking going nuts 
                         up here. Whole place is wide open. 
                         Assylvania.

               Jack does some actor's weird warm-up stretch.

                                     MILES
                         So what should I wear?

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Casual but nice. They 
                         think you're a writer.

               As Miles begins to dig through his suitcase, Jack flips open 
               his cellphone and speed-dials.

                                     JACK
                         Don't you have any other shoes?

               Miles glances as his shoes sitting sadly on the floor.

                                     JACK
                              (into the phone)
                         Hello? Oh hey, baby, just checking 
                         in. Not much. We're about to go out 
                         for dinner, probably be out pretty 
                         late, so I thought I'd say goodnight 
                         now. I know, I love you too. I miss 
                         you.

               EXT. LOS OLIVOS - NIGHT

               The boys get out of the car and walk along a timbered sidewalk 
               in this tourist town with wine tasting rooms and gourmet 
               restaurants.

                                     JACK
                         Please just try to be your normal 
                         humorous self, okay? Like who you 
                         were before the tailspin. Do you 
                         remember that guy? People love that 
                         guy. And don't forget -- your novel 
                         is coming out in the fall.

                                     MILES
                         Oh yeah? How exciting. What's it 
                         called?

                                     JACK
                         Do not sabotage me. If you want to 
                         be a lightweight, that's your call. 
                         But do not sabotage me.

                                     MILES
                         Aye-aye, captain.

                                     JACK
                         And if they want to drink Merlot, 
                         we're drinking Merlot.

                                     MILES
                              (dead serious)
                         If anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. 
                         I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!

                                     JACK
                         Okay, okay. Relax, Miles, Jesus. No 
                         Merlot. Did you bring your Xanax?

               Miles takes a SMALL BOTTLE from his pocket and rattles it.

                                     JACK
                         And don't drink too much. I don't 
                         want you going to the dark side or 
                         passing out. Do you hear me? No going 
                         to the dark side.

                                     MILES
                         Okay! Fuck!

               Miles quickly POPS A XANAX. Jack gives him a final look in 
               the eye.

                                     JACK
                         We're going in.

               INT. LOS OLIVOS CAFE - NIGHT

               The boys enter this cozy if crowded restaurant and exchange 
               words with the HOSTESS. Then they notice --

               MAYA AND STEPHANIE

               at a booth waving at them. They look great.

               MILES AND JACK

               make their way to the table, Jack wearing a broad, confident 
               SMILE.

               AT THE TABLE --

               Jack plops down next to Stephanie, while Miles politely eases 
               in on Maya's side. Jack touches a hand to Stephanie's bare 
               neck and massages it meaningfully.

                                     JACK
                         How you doin' tonight, beautiful?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Good. How're you?

                                     JACK
                         Great. You look great.
                              (including Maya)
                         You both do.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Not so bad yourself.

               Meanwhile Miles looks over at Maya and purses his lips in an 
               affable if uncomfortable smile. Then --

                                     MILES
                         What are you drinking?

                                     MAYA
                         A Fiddlehead Sauvignon Blanc.

                                     MILES
                         Oh yeah? How is it?

                                     MAYA
                              (sliding the glass)
                         Try it.

               As Miles swirls the wine and takes a sip, he begins to relax.

                                     MILES
                         Nice. Very nice.

                                     MAYA
                         Twelve months in oak.

                                     MILES
                         On a Sauvignon Blanc?

                                     MAYA
                         I know the winemaker. She comes in 
                         the restaurant all the time.

                                     MILES
                         This is good. Little hints of clove.

                                     MAYA
                         I know. I love that.

               LATER --

               A WAITER finishes listing off the specials.

                                     WAITER
                         ...medallions of pork with a dusting 
                         of black truffles served with a root 
                         vegetable foulon and wasabi-whipped 
                         potatoes. And finally a Copper River 
                         salmon grilled on an alder wood plank. 
                         And that comes with roasted new 
                         potatoes and steamed watercress.

               The four diners exchange looks of delight.

                                     WAITER
                         And who gets the wine list?

               Miles raises his hand and takes the leather-bound book.

                                     MAYA
                              (teasing)
                         I guess Miles wants it.

               Jack glares at Miles, who immediately gets the hint.

                                     MILES
                         Nope. You ladies choose.

               Jack smiles and nods his approval. Jack takes the book out 
               of Miles's hands and offers it to the girls.

                                     MAYA
                         You choose, Stephanie.

                                     STEPHANIE
                              (opening it)
                         So what does everyone feel like?

                                     JACK
                         Whatever you girls want. It's on us 
                         tonight. Sky's the limit.

                                     MAYA
                         No, we're paying for the wine.

                                     JACK
                         I don't think so. We're celebrating 
                         Miles's book deal.

                                     MAYA
                         Well, in that case...

               Miles draws a long breath.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         What's everyone ordering? Then we 
                         can sort out the wine.

                                     MILES
                         Exactement!

               Jack shoots Miles a look.

                                     MAYA
                         I'm having the salmon.

                                     MILES
                         That's what I'm having.

                                     STEPHANIE
                              (still scanning the 
                              wines)
                         I'm thinking about the duck breast.

                                     JACK
                              (slapping his menu 
                              shut)
                         Me too.

                                     MAYA
                         Well, that narrows things down.

               Stephanie lowers the menu so that only her eyes peer over 
               the top. She looks at the others, and they look back at her.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Sounds like... Pinot Noir to me.

               Jack looks at Miles and raises one hand for a HIGH-FIVE.

                                     JACK
                         Pinot!

               Miles reluctantly slaps Jack's hand. This causes the girls 
               to laugh. MUSIC STARTS -- they're OFF!

               DINNER is improvised, but includes:

               -- The arrival of the FIRST WINE.

               -- The SALADS.

               -- Maya takes a turn with the wine list. Miles pushes her 
               finger down into the prices with THREE DIGITS.

               -- New stemware is provided with the arrival of the SECOND 
               WINE.

               -- The four of them DRINK. Particularly Miles.

               -- Stephanie and Jack get cozier and cozier.

               -- The SALMON and DUCK arrive.

               -- Miles is too shy to look into Maya's eyes. She's interested 
               and available -- it's too much for him.

               -- As Miles gets DRUNKER, the camera angles become sloppier, 
               the cutting choppier.

               -- Miles PONTIFICATES about some aspect of wine that Maya 
               and Stephanie find interesting. Left out in the cold, his 
               jaw tight, Jack wants to find a way in but can't.

               -- Miles reaches over to refill his glass, but Jack's arm 
               shoots out to stop him -- "Slow down."

               CLOSE ON MILES as a distant RUMBLE begins to sound, the rumble 
               of an oncoming ANXIETY ATTACK. By now he has drunk so much 
               that he spaces out, descending into --

               INT. UNDERWORLD - DARK AND TIMELESS

               Miles is boarding an OPEN BOAT atop this underground river, 
               the River Styx. Just beyond a ghoulish HUMAN CARGO the hooded 
               boatman CHARON wields a long staff. Miles is crossing over 
               to the dark side.

               INT. LOS OLIVOS CAFE - BACK AGAIN

               Miles returns to earth to find Jack and Stephanie now in 
               their own little world -- Jack explaining something to 
               Stephanie that she finds fascinating, just FASCINATING.

               -- Miles converses with Maya, but it's clear from her bemused 
               expression that he's being charming if not entirely coherent.

               -- ANOTHER WINE reaches the table -- a Comte Armand Pornrnard.

               -- Miles looks over at Jack and Stephanie. They share a short 
               but sensual kiss.

               MOMENTS LATER --

               Miles is on his feet threading his way through the tables. 
               He is very unsteady, and we cut between first and third person 
               perspectives.

               AT THE BATHROOMS --

               He tries the MEN'S ROOM door but it's locked. He pulls the 
               XANAX out his pocket and pops one in his mouth, swallowing 
               it dry.

               He notices a PAYPHONE nearby. Thinking better of it for a 
               moment, Miles makes a drunken bee-line for the receiver.

               CLOSE ON THE KEYPAD --

               as many numbers are dialed, and we HEAR the TONES, completely 
               out of sync, along with a sound melange of interior phone 
               RINGING and a PICKUP.

               THE RECEIVER --

               As Miles presses it desperately to his head.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Hello?

                                     MILES
                         Victoria.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Miles?

               Miles feigns an implausible upbeat tone.

                                     MILES
                         Victoria! How the hell are you?

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Fine. What's, uh, what's on your 
                         mind?

                                     MILES
                         Heard you got remarried! 
                         Congratulations. Didn't think you 
                         had the stomach for another go-round.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Oh, Miles. You're drunk.

                                     MILES
                         Just some local Pinot, you know, 
                         then a little Burgundy. That old 
                         Cotes de Beaune!

               Miles laughs at his own non-existent joke.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Where are you?

                                     MILES
                         A little place in Los Olivos. New 
                         owners. Cozy ambiance. Excellent 
                         food too -- you should try it. Thought 
                         of you at the Hitching Post last 
                         night.

               Silence.

                                     MILES (CONT' D)
                         Hello?

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Miles, don't call me when you're 
                         drunk.

                                     MILES
                         I just wanted you to know I've decided 
                         not to go to the wedding, so in case 
                         you were dreading some uncomfortable, 
                         you know, run-in or something, well, 
                         worry no more. You won't see me there. 
                         My wedding gift to you and what's-
                         his-name. What is his name?

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                              (silence, then --)
                         Ken.

                                     MILES
                         Ken.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Miles, I don't care if you come to 
                         the wedding or not.

                                     MILES
                         Well, I'm not coming, Barbie. So you 
                         guys have fun.

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         I'm going to hang up now, Miles.

                                     MILES
                              (rushing to keep her 
                              on)
                         You see, Vicki, I just heard about 
                         this today, you getting married that 
                         is, and I was kind of taken aback. 
                         Kind of hard to believe.

               Silence.

                                     MILES
                         I guess I just thought there was 
                         still some hope for us somewhere 
                         down the road and I just, I just --

                                     VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Miles, maybe it is better if you 
                         don't come to the wedding.

               Miles sucks something from between his two front teeth.

                                     MILES
                         Whatever you say, Vicki. You're the 
                         boss.

               He HANGS UP as nonchalantly as if it had been a sales call 
               and heads back to the table.

               EXT. DEEP CANYON - DAY

               For a flash, Miles is walking an unstable, narrow ROPE BRIDGE 
               extending vertiginously across a great CHASM.

               INT. LOS OLIVOS CAFE - BACK AGAIN

               Miles reaches the table, tries to sit and SLIPS ONTO THE 
               FLOOR.

               Although at first Jack blinks heavily in disgust, the girls 
               burst into hysterical LAUGHTER. Jack then laughs too, perhaps 
               OVER-LAUGHING.

                                     JACK
                         Easy, boy. Easy.

               Maya helps him back into the booth.

                                     MAYA
                         Are you all right?

                                     MILES
                         Fine. Just slipped.
                              (picking up his glass)
                         This is my blood.

               Miles drinks. Stephanie makes a head gesture to Maya, who 
               nods in return.

                                     STEPHANIE
                              (to the guys)
                         Excuse us.

                                     MAYA
                         Sorry to make you get up again, Miles.

                                     MILES
                         That's okay.

               Miles and Jack allow the girls to pass. Then --

                                     JACK
                         What the fuck, man? What is up?

               Miles reaches for his wine glass, but Jack moves it away.

                                     JACK
                         Pull yourself together, man.

                                     MILES
                         I'm fine!

               But in throwing open his arms for emphasis, he spills a WATER 
               GLASS. Jack rights it and throws a napkin on the tablecloth.

                                     JACK
                         Where were you?

                                     MILES
                         Bathroom.

                                     JACK
                         Did you drink and dial?

               Miles's silence confirms his guilt and shame.

                                     JACK
                         Why do you always do this? Victoria's 
                         gone, man. Gone. Poof.

               Miles looks down and squeezes his eyes tight while pushing 
               out an exhale through his nose.

                                     JACK
                         Stop it. You are blowing a great 
                         opportunity here, Miles. Fucking 
                         Maya, man. She's great. She's cool. 
                         She's funny. She knows wine. What is 
                         this morose come-down bullshit? These 
                         girls want to party. And what was 
                         that fucking ten-minute lecture on, 
                         what was it, Vouvrays? I mean, come 
                         on!

                                     MILES
                         Let's just say I'm uncomfortable 
                         with the whole scenario.

                                     JACK
                         Oh Jesus, Miles.

               Miles belligerently reaches for his Comte Armand. Jack lets 
               it pass.

                                     JACK
                         And don't forget all the bad times 
                         you had with Victoria. How small she 
                         make you feel. That's why you had 
                         the affair in the first place.

                                     MILES
                         Shut up. Shut your face.

                                     JACK
                         Don't you see how Maya's looking at 
                         you? You got her on the hook. Reel 
                         her in! Come on, let's rachet this 
                         up a notch. You know how to to do 
                         it. Here.
                              (passing a glass)
                         Drink some agua.

               Miles looks at the water, takes it and drains it.

               The girls now return to the table. The guys slide over.

                                     MILES
                              (trying to appear 
                              sober)
                         Should we get dessert?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         We were thinking. Why don't we go 
                         back to my place? I've got wine, 
                         some insane cheeses, music, whatever.

               Jack raises both arms like a football referee.

                                     JACK
                         Excellent idea. Waiter!

               INT. SAAB - NIGHT

               THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD --

               Trees and bushes lit by the headlights show us we're headed 
               into the woods.

               INSIDE --

               Jack drives. Miles blinks heavily as he tries to make a sense 
               of A HAND-DRAWN MAP.

                                     JACK
                              (grabbing the map)
                         Let me see that.

               EXT. STEPHANIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

               The Saab pulls into a gravel DRIVEWAY and comes to a stop 
               outside this wood-framed cottage.

               Jack and Miles get out and head for the front door. On the 
               way, Jack reaches into his coat pocket and produces a string 
               of FOUR CONDOMS.

                                     JACK
                              (tearing)
                         Here. One for you, three for me.

               Miles wordlessly takes his. Just before they climb the porch 
               steps --

                                     MILES
                         You sure you want to do this?

               Jack stops and looks at him for a moment with almost hostile 
               incredulity.

               THE FRONT DOOR is open. Jack knocks twice on the SCREEN DOOR 
               before going in.

               INT. STEPHANIE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

               The boys enter this modest living room furnished with 
               weathered but charming old furniture. Scattered here and 
               there are CHILDREN'S TOYS. FINGER-PAINTINGS are taped to the 
               walls. CANDLES are lit, and MUSIC is playing.

                                     JACK
                         We're here!

               Stephanie sails in.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         What happened to you guys?

                                     JACK
                         Couple of wrong turns.
                              (pointing a thumb at 
                              Miles)
                         Thanks to Magellan, here.

               After a brief hug, Stephanie and Jack peck-kiss.

                                     JACK
                         Hi.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Hi.
                              (to Miles)
                         Maya's in the kitchen.

               Miles hesitates a moment before Jack elbows him toward --

               EXT. STEPHANIE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

               Miles wanders in to find Maya squatting in front of a little 
               temperature-controlled WINE STORAGE UNIT.

                                     MILES
                         Hi.

                                     MAYA
                         Hey.

                                     MILES
                         She got anything good?

                                     MAYA
                         Oh, yeah. Steph's way into Pinots 
                         and Syrahs.
                              (calling out)
                         Hey, Steph? You sure we can open 
                         anything? Anything we want?

                                     STEPHANIE (V.O.)
                         Anything but the Jayer Richebourg!

                                     MILES
                         She has a Richebourg? Mon dieu. I 
                         have completely underestimated 
                         Stephanie.

                                     MAYA
                         Who do you think you're dealing with 
                         here?

               Maya slips out a bottle of ESCHEVAUX.

                                     MAYA
                         How about this?

               Miles nods vigorously. Maya looks back and forth between 
               Miles and the wine, her eyes narrowed. Then she slides it 
               back in.

                                     MAYA
                         Nope. I don't think we know each 
                         other well enough.
                              (picking out another 
                              bottle)
                         I'd say this guy's more our speed.

               They rise, and Miles glances at the ANDREW MURRAY SYRAH and, 
               raising his eyebrows, agrees. Maya begins opening it.

                                     MAYA
                         So what gems do you have in your 
                         collection?

                                     MILES
                         Not much of a collection really. I 
                         haven't had the wallet for that, so 
                         I sort of live bottle to bottle. But 
                         I've got a couple things I'm saving. 
                         I guess the star would be a 1961 
                         Cheval Blanc.

                                     MAYA
                         You've got a '61 Cheval Blanc that's 
                         just sitting there? Go get it.
                              (pushing him, playfully 
                              stern)
                         Right now. Hurry up...

               Miles laughs, fights back a bit.

                                     MAYA
                         Seriously, the '61s are peaking, 
                         aren't they? At least that's what 
                         I've read.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, I know.

                                     MAYA
                         It might be too late already. What 
                         are you waiting for?

                                     MILES
                         I don't know. Special occasion. With 
                         the right person. It was supposed to 
                         be for my tenth wedding anniversary.

               Understanding, Maya considers her response.

                                     MAYA
                         The day you open a '61 Cheval Blanc, 
                         that's the special occasion.

                                     MILES
                         How long have you been into wine?

                                     MAYA
                         I started to get serious about seven 
                         years ago.

                                     MILES
                         What was the bottle that did it?

                                     MAYA
                         Eighty-eight Sassicaia.

               Miles whistles and raises his eyebrows. Maya pours, and they 
               clink their glasses together before savoring the wine.

                                     MILES
                         Wow. We gotta give it a moment, but 
                         this is tasty. Really good. How about 
                         you?

                                     MAYA
                              (tastes again)
                         I think they overdid it a bit. Too 
                         much alcohol. Overwhelms the fruit.

                                     MILES
                              (tasting again, 
                              impressed)
                         Yeah, I'd say you're right on the 
                         money.

               Then Miles absently scans the REFRIGERATOR DOOR and spots a 
               PHOTO of Stephanie holding a LITTLE GIRL.

                                     MILES
                         Is this Stephanie's kid? Sure is 
                         cute.

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah, Siena's a sweetie.

                                     MILES
                         Is she sleeping or...?

                                     MAYA
                         She's with her grandmother. She's 
                         with Steph's mom. She spends a lot 
                         of time over there. Steph's... well, 
                         she's Stephanie.  

               Jack's voice-over voice from the other room...

                                     JACK (O.S.)
                         "And now for a low, low 4.8% APR..."

               ...is followed by PEALS OF LAUGHTER.

                                     MAYA
                         You got kids?

                                     MILES
                         Who me? Nah, I'd just fuck them up. 
                         That was the one unpolluted part of 
                         my divorce -- no kids.

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah, same here.

               Maya nods as she sips again, looking distant for a moment, 
               thinking about something else.

                                     MAYA
                         Let's go in there.

               Maya takes the bottle, and they wander into --

               INT. STEPHANIE'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

               Jack and Stephanie are gone. From a distant bedroom comes 
               more laughter.

                                     MAYA
                         Looks like our friends are hitting 
                         it off.

               While Maya goes to turn down the STEREO, Miles sits on the 
               couch. Maya's shirt rides up as she crouches, giving Miles a 
               glimpse of the small of HER BACK.

               She takes a seat opposite Miles on the couch. They look at 
               each other without speaking. Just what is the vibe here?

                                     MAYA
                         It's kind of weird sitting here with 
                         you in Stephanie's house. All those 
                         times you came into the restaurant. 
                         It's like you're a real person now. 
                         Almost.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, I know. It's kind of weird. 
                         Out of context.

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah, weird. But great.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah. Definitely.

               An awkward silence, broken by Maya.

                                     MAYA
                         So what's your novel about?

                                     MILES
                         Well, it's a little difficult to 
                         summarize. It begins as a first-person 
                         account of a guy taking care of his 
                         father after a stroke. Kind of based 
                         on personal experience, but only 
                         loosely.

                                     MAYA
                         What's the title?

                                     MILES
                         "The Day After Yesterday."

                                     MAYA
                         Oh. You mean... today?

                                     MILES
                         Um... yeah but it's more...

                                     MAYA
                         So is it kind of about death and 
                         mortality, or...?

                                     MILES
                         Mrnmm, yeah... but not really. It 
                         shifts around a lot. Like you also 
                         start to see everything from the 
                         point of view of the father. And 
                         some other stuff happens, some 
                         parallel narrative, and then it 
                         evolves -- or devolves -- into a 
                         kind of a Robbe-Grillet mystery -- 
                         you know, with no real resolution.

                                     MAYA
                         Wow. Anyway, I think it's amazing 
                         you're getting it published. Really. 
                         I know how hard it is. Just to write 
                         it even.

                                     MILES
                              (squeezing it out)
                         Yeah. Thanks.

                                     MAYA
                         Like me, I have this stupid paper 
                         due on Friday, and as usual I'm 
                         freaked out about it. Just like in 
                         high school. It never changes.

                                     MILES
                         A paper?

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah. I'm working on a masters in 
                         horticulture. Chipping away at it.

                                     MILES
                         Horticulture? Wow. I didn't know 
                         there was a college here.

                                     MAYA
                         I commute to San Luis Obispo twice a 
                         week.

                                     MILES
                         So... you want to work for a winery 
                         or something someday?

                                     MAYA
                         Well...

                                     MILES
                         I do have a copy of the manuscript 
                         in the car. It's not fully proofed, 
                         but if you're okay with a few typos...

                                     MAYA
                         Oh yeah. Who cares? I'm the queen of 
                         typos.
                              (sipping the wine)
                         Wow, this is really starting to open 
                         up. What do you think?

                                     MILES
                         My palate's kind of shot, but from 
                         what I can tell, I'd dub it pretty 
                         damn good.

                                     MAYA
                         Can I ask you a personal question?

                                     MILES
                              (bracing himself)
                         Sure.

                                     MAYA
                         Why are you so into Pinot? It's like 
                         a thing with you.

               Miles laughs at first, then smiles wistfully at the question. 
               He searches for the answer in his glass and begins slowly.

                                     MILES
                         I don't know. It's a hard grape to 
                         grow. As you know. It's thin-skinned, 
                         temperamental, ripens early. It's 
                         not a survivor like Cabernet that 
                         can grow anywhere and thrive even 
                         when neglected. Pinot needs constant 
                         care and attention and in fact can 
                         only grow in specific little tucked-
                         away corners of the world. And only 
                         the most patient and nurturing growers 
                         can do it really, can tap into Pinot's 
                         most fragile, delicate qualities. 
                         Only when someone has taken the time 
                         to truly understand its potential 
                         can Pinot be coaxed into its fullest 
                         expression. And when that happens, 
                         its flavors are the most haunting 
                         and brilliant and subtle and thrilling 
                         and ancient on the planet.

               Maya has found this answer revealing and moving.

                                     MILES
                         I mean, Cabernets can be powerful 
                         and exalting, but they seem prosaic 
                         to me for some reason. By comparison. 
                         How about you?

                                     MAYA
                         What about me?

                                     MILES
                         I don't know. Why are you into wine?

                                     MAYA
                         I suppose I got really into wine 
                         originally through my ex-husband. He 
                         had a big, kind of show-off cellar. 
                         But then I found out that I have a 
                         really sharp palate, and the more I 
                         drank, the more I liked what it made 
                         me think about.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah? Like what?

                                     MAYA
                         Like what a fraud he was.

               Miles laughs.

                                     MAYA
                         No, but I do like to think about the 
                         life of wine, how it's a living thing. 
                         I like to think about what was going 
                         on the year the grapes were growing, 
                         how the sun was shining that summer 
                         or if it rained... what the weather 
                         was like. I think about all those 
                         people who tended and picked the 
                         grapes, and if it's an old wine, how 
                         many of them must be dead by now. I 
                         love how wine continues to evolve, 
                         how every time I open a bottle it's 
                         going to taste different than if I 
                         had opened it on any other day. 
                         Because a bottle of wine is actually 
                         alive -- it's constantly evolving 
                         and gaining complexity. That is, 
                         until it peaks -- like your '61 -- 
                         and begins its steady, inevitable 
                         decline. And it tastes so fucking 
                         good.

               Now it is Miles's turn to be swept away. Maya's face tells 
               us the moment is right, but Miles remains frozen. He needs 
               another sign, and Maya is bold enough to offer it: reaches 
               out and places one hand atop his.

                                     MILES
                              (pointing)
                         Bathroom over there?

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah.

               Miles gets up and walks out. Maya sighs and gets and American 
               Spirit out of her purse.

               INT. STEPHANIE'S BATHROOM - NIGHT

               The bathroom's a MESS -- the shower curtain is filthy, and 
               the chipped and water-stained tub is filled with CHILDREN'S 
               BATH TOYS.

               Miles is bent over the sink splashing water on his face, 
               trying to sober up and gather his courage. He stands, and 
               without drying his face, presses his palms against his cheeks. 
               Then he takes a deep breath and drops his hands.

                                     MILES
                         You are such a loser. Come on!

               INT. THE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               Miles comes out of the bathroom and looks for Maya, but she's 
               not there.

               Then he hears a noise from the kitchen, so he goes through 
               the door into --

               INT. STEPHANIE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

               Maya is at the sink, filling a glass with water.

                                     MAYA
                         I was just getting some water. You 
                         want some water?

               Miles goes to stand by her and accepts a glass of water. 
               Just as she's about to fill a second glass, he stops her and 
               looks her in the eye, trying to recapture a moment that is 
               long gone.

               He kisses her and she kisses back, but the whole thing feels 
               strained and awkward.

               After a few seconds, Maya breaks away.

                                     MAYA
                         Nice.

               But instead of resuming the kiss, she steps past him, heading 
               back into the living room.

                                     MAYA (O.S.)
                         I should probably get going.

               Miles realizes he's blown it and silently berates himself.

               INT. SAAB - NIGHT

               Miles drives down the hill behind Maya's car, which leads 
               him through this very rural road.

               EXT. WHERE THE ROAD MEETS THE HIGHWAY - NIGHT

               Maya's car comes to a stop just ahead of the Saab. She puts 
               it in PARK and gets out.

               AT THE SAAB --

               Miles rolls down his window as Maya leans over.

                                     MAYA
                         You know how to get back to the 
                         Windmill, right?

                                     MILES
                         Got it.

                                     MAYA
                         I had a good time tonight, Miles. I 
                         really did.

                                     MILES
                         Good. So did I.

                                     MAYA
                         Okay. See you around.

                                     MILES
                         Um... did you still want to read my 
                         novel?

                                     MAYA
                         Oh, yeah. Sure. Of course.

               Miles turns to the backseat, locates a large MANUSCRIPT BOX, 
               and hands it to Maya.

                                     MAYA
                         Wow. Great.

               He turns around again, produces a SECOND BOX, and hands it 
               over as well.

                                     MILES
                         Hope you like it. Feel free to stop 
                         reading at any time. I'll take no 
                         offense.

                                     MAYA
                         Goodnight, Miles.

               She gives him a friendly peck on the cheek.

               After she gets back in her car, she heads in one direction 
               while Miles heads in the opposite.

               OMIT.

               UNDER BLACK --

                                         TUESDAY

               Jack's cellphone RINGS.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING

               NOW EARLY MORNING --

               Still fully clothed, Miles staggers across the room.

               Fishing the phone out of Jack's windbreaker pocket, he looks 
               at the CALLER ID: "Erganian, Christine" and the number. He 
               briefly considers his options -- answer it? shut it off? --
               before placing it atop Jack's suitcase.

               The moment he lies back down on the bed, the MOTEL PHONE 
               RINGS. An old DIGITAL CLOCK next to it reads 7:l0.

               As Miles closes his eyes and pulls the pillow over his aching 
               head, we again --

               FADE TO BLACK.

               LATER --

               VROOM! Outside a roaring MOTORCYCLE comes to a stop. Then 
               over the sound of an IDLING ENGINE come familiar if indistinct 
               VOICES and LAUGHTER.

               Miles opens his bleary eyes and listens.

               FOOTSTEPS pound on the balcony outside, and Jack lets himself 
               in, flushed and exuberant.

                                     JACK
                         Fucking chick is unbelievable. Un-be-
                         lieve-able!

               He pounds on the wall, then goes into the bathroom and without 
               closing the door unzips his pants to PEE.

                                     JACK
                         Goddamn, Miles, she is nasty. Nasty 
                         nasty nasty.

                                     MILES
                         Well, I'm glad you got it out of 
                         your system. Congratulations. Mission 
                         accomplished.

               A hungover Miles gets up and looks out the door Jack has 
               left open. Down in the parking lot he sees --

               STEPHANIE

               atop a mid-sized MOTORCYCLE, wearing a weathered fringed 
               suede jacket. She gives him a big friendly wave.

               MILES

               returns the wave and goes back inside.

                                     MILES
                         You didn't invite Stephanie to come 
                         with us, did you?

               With a FLUSH Jack emerges from the bathroom and opens his 
               bag.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, hey, change of plans. Steph's 
                         off today, so she and I are going on 
                         a hike.

                                     MILES
                         We were supposed to play golf.

                                     JACK
                         You go. In fact, use my clubs. They're 
                         brand new -- gift from Christine's 
                         dad.
                              (slapping some cash 
                              on the dresser)
                         It's on me. Oh, say, by the way, 
                         Stephanie and me were thinking we'd 
                         all go to the Hitching Post tonight 
                         and sit at one of Maya's tables, and 
                         she'll bring us some great wines and 
                         then we can all --

                                     MILES
                              (sitting down)
                         Count me out.

                                     JACK
                         Oooh, I see. Didn't go so good last 
                         night, huh? That's a shocker. You 
                         mean getting drunk and calling 
                         Victoria didn't put you in the mood? 
                         You dumb fuck. Your divorce pain's 
                         getting real old real fast, dude.

               Miles looks down. Jack heads for the door.

                                     JACK
                         Later.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, well, maybe you should check 
                         your messages first.

               Jack stops, eyeing Miles suspiciously. Miles tosses Jack his 
               phone. Jack flips it open and scrolls down with his thumb. 
               He doesn't like what he sees.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, boy.

                                     MILES
                              (pointing at the room 
                              phone)
                         She's been leaving messages here 
                         too.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah. Okay.

               He SNAPS the phone shut and puts it back.

                                     MILES
                         You should call her.

                                     JACK
                         I will.
                              (heading out the door)
                         See ya!

                                     MILES
                         Right now.

                                     JACK
                         Okay! Jesus!

               Jack picks up his phone, sits on the bed and looks defiantly 
               at Miles.

                                     JACK
                         I've got no problem calling her.

               Now Jack closes his eyes and brings the heel of his hand to 
               his forehead as he begins to concoct the BIG LIE.

                                     JACK
                              (opening his phone)
                         Wait outside, will you?

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - DAY

               Miles wanders out and looks down at Stephanie.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         That was fun last night.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah. Good food. You've got quite a 
                         wine collection. Very impressive.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Thanks. Hey, I talked to Maya this 
                         morning. She said she had a good 
                         time too. You should call her.

               Miles says nothing.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Where's Jack?

                                     MILES
                         He had to make a phone call.

               Stephanie cuts her bike's engine and climbs off, propping it 
               up on the kickstand.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         So what are you up to today, Miles?

                                     MILES
                         Just kickin' back, I guess. I don't 
                         know. Jack and I were supposed to go 
                         golfing.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Huh.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, I reserved the tee time about 
                         a month ago.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Oops. Sorry.

                                     MILES
                         You golf?

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Me? No, I think it's kind of a stupid 
                         game. I mean, at least, I could never 
                         get into it. I tried it once.

                                     MILES
                         Huh. Jack loves golf. Crazy about 
                         it.

               Just then Jack cracks open the motel room door.

                                     JACK
                              (hushed)
                         Hey Miles. Miles.

               Miles ducks back inside.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

                                     JACK
                         Do you have that other condom?

               Miles reaches into his wallet and hands over the little foil 
               square.

                                     MILES
                         What'd Christine say?

                                     JACK
                         Lucked out -- got voice mail. 
                         Everything's cool.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - CONTINUOUS

               Jack bounds out of the room and down the stairs like a child 
               on Christmas morning.

               Miles watches Jack climb on the bike behind Stephanie, 
               grasping her waist.

               Stephanie and Jack PEEL OUT, leaving Miles alone on the 
               balcony.

               CLOSE ON MILES --

               As we begin to hear a SNIPPING sound which carries us to --

               EXT. MOTEL ROOM BALCONY - DAY

               Miles sits outside carefully trimming his toenails. SNIP, 
               SNIP, SNIP. MUSIC BEGINS for this mournful montage of 
               solitude.

               INT. MOTEL LOBBY - DAY

               Miles takes a styrofoam cup and helps himself to a cup of 
               complimentary COFFEE from a PUMP THERMOS.

               Then he takes a look at the rack of pamphlets of local TOURIST 
               ATTRACTIONS -- a water park, a mystery cave, and of course 
               winery after winery.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN JACUZZI - DAY

               Amid turbulent water, Miles corrects his students' papers. 
               He is alone in the tub, but at the nearby pool STOCKY KIDS 
               play noisily with SUPER-SOAKERS.

               OVER MILES'S SHOULDER --

               The PAPER he's reading is marked up with circled spelling 
               errors, and one entire paragraph has been crossed out. Finding 
               a new error, Miles writes "NO!!!"

               CAMERA PANS to reveal a STACK of papers already heavily marked 
               with corrections, some of them mottled with water stains.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               Miles FLOSSES, his lips pulled back into a grotesque moue. 
               Then he brushes with a SONIC-CARE TOOTHBRUSH.

               LATER --

               Miles checks his machine.

                                     SYNTHESIZED VOICE (O.S.)
                         No new messages.

               He hangs up, disgusted.

               EXT. CHINA PANDA RESTAURANT - DAY

               A small Buellton eatery.

               INT. CHINA PANDA - DAY

               The only customer right now, Miles eats awkwardly with his 
               chopsticks.

               EXT. DRIVING RANGE - DAY

               Miles DRIVES ball after ball, unsuccessfully trying to release 
               his frustration.

               EXT. BUCOLIC ROAD - DAY

               The Saab roars past us, perhaps going a little too fast.

               INT. SAAB - CONTINUOUS

               Whistling absently as he drives, Miles leans over to turn 
               the radio on and fiddle around to find a good station. Then 
               all of a sudden --

               WHUMP! The car has struck something with a hideous sound 
               followed immediately by the receding "ARF-ARF-ARF-ARF" of an 
               injured DOG in the Saab's wake. Miles applies the BRAKES.

               EXT. BUCOLIC ROAD - DAY

               Miles gets out of his car just in time to see --

               A DOG

               scampering into the nearby woods. Miles looks around -- has 
               anyone seen him? Is there a nearby residence? Finding nothing, 
               Miles momentarily weighs his options before finally GIVING 
               CHASE.

               He follows the path of the dog into --

               EXT. ROADSIDE WOODS - CONTINUOUS

               Still hearing occasional distant barking, Miles finds his 
               way among the trees and bushes, looking in vain for the ill-
               fated cur.

               After a frenetic search, Miles reluctantly gives up and heads 
               back.

               OMIT.

               EXT. BUCOLIC ROAD - DAY

               Miles has returned to where he hit the dog. Just then, Miles 
               notices TWO MEXICAN CHILDREN watching him from just down the 
               road. They disappear into the bushes.

               Looking like a criminal, Miles trots back to the Saab climbs 
               behind the wheel and speeds away.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - DAY

               The Saab pulls into the parking lot.

               EXT./INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               Miles trudges up the stops to the room. He opens the door 
               and sees --

               JACK

               atop Stephanie, plowing her fertile fields. Despite the 
               interruption, their pace does not alter.

                                     JACK
                         Not now! Not now!

               Miles quickly shuts the door.

               INT. WINDMILL SPORTS BAR LOUNGE - DAY

               Miles pours himself another glass of Pinot. Jack comes in 
               and spots his morose friend.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, there you are.

                                     MILES
                         Yep.

                                     JACK
                         What're you drinking?

               Jack reaches over to check out the bottle's label. Miles 
               remains cool to Jack's amiability.

                                     JACK
                         Any good?

               Miles shrugs.

                                     JACK
                              (to the bartender)
                         Could I get a glass please?
                              (to Miles)
                         Stephanie took me out into the Pinot 
                         fields today. It was awesome. I think 
                         I finally got a handle on the whole 
                         process, from the soil to the vine 
                         to the -- what do you call it? -- 
                         selection and harvest. And the whole, 
                         you know, big containers where they 
                         mix it. We even ate Pinot grapes 
                         right off the vine.
                              (the new expert)
                         Still a little sour but already 
                         showing potential for great structure. 
                         Stephanie really knows her shit, 
                         Miles.

               Jack now has his glass and pours himself some wine.

                                     MILES
                         Where is Stephanie?

                                     JACK
                         Upstairs. Getting cleaned up.

                                     MILES
                         What the fuck are you doing?

                                     JACK
                         What?

                                     MILES
                         With this chick.

               Jack just looks at him.

                                     MILES
                         Does she know about Saturday?

                                     JACK
                         Um... not exactly. But I've been 
                         honest. I haven't told her I'm 
                         available. And she knows this trip 
                         up here is only for a few days. 
                         Besides...

               Jack stops short in a rare instance of self-censorship.

                                     MILES
                         Besides what?

                                     JACK
                         Well... I don't know, just... the 
                         wedding.

                                     MILES
                         What?

                                     JACK
                         Well, I've been doing some thinking.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, you've been thinking. And?

                                     JACK
                         I may have to put the wedding on 
                         hold is all.

               Miles looks at him with incredulity.

                                     JACK
                         I fully realize that making a change 
                         like that might be tricky for certain 
                         people to accept at first, but life 
                         is short, Miles. I've got to be sure 
                         I'm doing the right thing before 
                         taking such a big step. And not just 
                         for my sake. I'm thinking about 
                         Christine's feelings too. I take 
                         marriage very seriously -- always 
                         have. That's why I've never done it 
                         before. The day I get married, it's 
                         going to be the real thing.

               Miles just looks at his friend, waiting for more.

                                     JACK
                         Being with Stephanie has opened my 
                         eyes. She's not uptight or 
                         controlling. She's just cool. Things 
                         are so easy with her. Smells 
                         different. Tastes different. Fucks 
                         different. Fucks like an animal. I'm 
                         telling you, I went deep last night, 
                         Miles. Deep.

                                     MILES
                         Deep.

               Miles draws a long sigh.

                                     JACK
                         Don't get all judgmental on me. This 
                         is my deal. It's my life, and it's 
                         my call.

               They fall silent for a moment. Then --

                                     JACK
                         I was hoping to get some understanding 
                         from you. And I'm not getting it.

                                     MILES
                         Understanding of what?

                                     JACK
                         Like I might be in love with another 
                         woman.

                                     MILES
                         In love? Twenty-four hours with some 
                         wine-pourer chick and you think you're 
                         in love? And give up everything?

                                     JACK
                         Look who's talking. You've been there.

                                     MILES
                         Yes I have, and do I look like a 
                         happy man? Was all that drama with 
                         Brenda a happy thing for me to do? 
                         Huh? Was it? Is she a part of my 
                         life now?

                                     JACK
                         This is totally different. I'm talking 
                         about avoiding what you're talking 
                         about. That's the distinction. I 
                         have not made the commitment yet. I 
                         am not married. I have not said the 
                         words. In a few days, I might get 
                         married, and if I do, then I won't 
                         be doing stuff like this anymore. 
                         Otherwise, what's the whole point of 
                         getting married?

                                     MILES
                         And what about Stephanie? She's a 
                         woman -- with a kid. A single mom. 
                         What do you think she's looking for? 
                         Huh?

                                     JACK
                              (interrupting)
                         Here's what I'm thinking. We move up 
                         here, you and me, buy a vineyard. 
                         You design your own wine; I'll handle 
                         the business side. Then you get 
                         inspired and write a new novel. As 
                         for me, if an audition comes along, 
                         hell, LA'S two hours away. Not even.

                                     MILES
                         You're crazy. You've gone crazy.

                                     JACK
                         What do you care anyway? You don't 
                         even like Christine.

                                     MILES
                         What? Of course I like Christine.

                                     JACK
                         You said she was shallow. Yeah, and 
                         a nouveau riche.

                                     MILES
                         That was three years ago after that 
                         first party!

                                     JACK
                         Look, Miles, all I know is I'm an 
                         actor. All I have is my instinct.
                              (his hand on his chest)
                         My intuition -- that's all I have. 
                         And you're asking me to go against 
                         it. And that's just wrong.

               Just then Stephanie walks in. She cozies up to Jack, and he 
               kisses the top of her head.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Hi, guys. We should probably get 
                         going.

                                     MILES
                         Where?

               INT. BOWLING ALLEY - DUSK

               CLOSE ON A VIDEO GAME MONITOR

               as a crazy car races through the obstacle-ridden track, often 
               leaving the road, much like Jack's libido.

               ZOOM OUT

               to reveal six-year-old SIENA seated in Jack's lap as they 
               drive together. A delighted Siena laughs and giggles.

               Miles sits nearby with Stephanie and her fifty-something, 
               two-pack-a-day MOTHER CARYL.

                                     CARYL
                         Stephanie's heard this a thousand 
                         times, but if I'd done what I wanted 
                         and I'd bought up in Santa Maria 
                         when I had the chance, I would have 
                         made a fortune when they put in that 
                         outlet center and that Home Depot.
                              (a drag off her 
                              cigarette, then to 
                              Stephanie)
                         Your father knew it too, but he was 
                         a fucking chickenshit. Always was.

               Caryl looks over her shoulder, her gaze drawn to Jack and 
               Siena, so completely happy together.

               Caryl exhales a puff of smoke as she watches. Stephanie is 
               equally enthralled. Miles takes it all in, trying his best 
               not to shake his head in disgust.

               INT. BOWLING ALLEY PARKING LOT - DUSK

               Caryl is behind the wheel of her OLDSMOBILE as Stephanie 
               gets Siena buckled up in the backseat. Jack pulls Miles aside.

                                     JACK
                         Listen, I'm going to make sure Steph 
                         and Siena get home safe, and then 
                         maybe we'll hook up with you later, 
                         okay?

                                     MILES
                              (dispirited)
                         Sure, whatever. Maybe I'll catch a 
                         movie.

               Stephanie kisses Miles's cheek before getting in the car 
               next to her mom.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         See you, Miles. You take care.

                                     MILES
                         Bye, Stephanie. Bye, Siena, Caryl.

                                     SIENA AND CARYL
                         Bye, Miles.

               As he gets in the car --

                                     JACK
                         Call me on my cell if you go out.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah.

               Miles watches them drive away, then heads toward his Saab.

               INT. MINI-MART - DUSK

               CLOSE ON THE COUNTER --

               as Miles places a box of security ENVELOPES, a packet of 
               BEEF JERKY and some TROPICAL FRUIT SKITTLES.

               WIDE --

               Miles points over the CASHIER'S SHOULDER.

                                     MILES
                         And could I get a Barely Leqal?

               As the cashier reaches for the magazine --

                                     MILES
                         NO, um, the new one.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM BATHROOM - NIGHT

               Miles is once again FLOSSING.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

               POP! Miles opens a bottle of Pinot and pours himself a glass. 
               He carries it to bed, takes a nice big slug, lies down on 
               the bed and opens his magazine.

               NOW SNEEZING ATOP THE BED -- ANGLE ON TOP OF HIM --

               The Barely Legal face down on his chest, Miles awakens with 
               a start and looks at the clock-radio. He thinks a moment, 
               takes a deep breath, and bounds off the bed.

               CLOSE ON A WATER-SAVER SHOWER HEAD --

               as little needles of water come at us.

               THROUGH THE BATHROOM DOOR --

               Miles takes a nice hot SHOWER. But wait -- he has forgotten 
               to put the shower curtain inside the tub. A closer look 
               reveals a growing PUDDLE OF WATER on the floor.

               EXT. THE HITCHING POST - NIGHT

               Miles walks across the parking lot. He pauses before entering, 
               then forces himself to take the leap.

               INT. THE HITCHING POST - NIGHT

               Miles affects nonchalance as he searches briefly for Maya. 
               He continues on into the BAR.

                                     GARY
                         How's it hanging, Miles?

                                     MILES
                         You know me. I love it up here. How 
                         about you?

                                     GARY
                         Busy night for a Tuesday. We had a 
                         busload of retired folks in on a 
                         wine tour. Usually they're not too 
                         rowdy, but tonight there was something 
                         going on. Full moon or something. 
                         What can I get you?

                                     MILES
                         Highliner.

                                     GARY
                         Glass or bottle?

                                     MILES
                              (considers, then --)
                         Bottle.

                                     GARY
                         You got it.

                                     MILES
                         Say, is Maya working?

                                     GARY
                         Maya? Haven't seen her. I think she's 
                         off tonight. Say, where's your buddy?

               Miles just smiles.

               WIDE --

               Gary serves Miles, alone at the bar. Miles takes his first 
               drink.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, that's tasty.

               EXT. HITCHING POST - NIGHT

               It's closing time. The front door flies open, and Miles 
               staggers out sideways. Gary follows him out, concerned.

                                     GARY
                         You okay, Miles?

                                     MILES
                         I'm good.

               Miles heads in the wrong direction at first, then realizes 
               his mistake and steers himself back toward the Windmill.

               FADE OUT.

               UNDER BLACK, A CARD --

                                        WEDNESDAY

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               The door bursts open, and Jack comes bounding in.

                                     JACK
                         Come on, dude. Let's go golfing! I 
                         got us in at Alisal.

               Miles comes to, very hungover.

                                     MILES
                         That's a public course.
                              (then --)
                         No Stephanie?

                                     JACK
                         She's working. I need a break anyway. 
                         She's getting a little clingy.
                              (magnanimous)
                         This is our day!

               EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY

               WHACK! Jack TEES OFF with a manly athletic swing and shades 
               his eyes to watch the ball's trajectory.

                                     JACK
                         Crap.

               Miles, disheveled and sullen, approaches the teebox, sticks 
               a tee in the ground and sets his ball.

                                     JACK
                         Did you ever got ahold of Maya 
                         yesterday?

                                     MILES
                         Nope.

                                     JACK
                         She likes you, man. Stephanie'll 
                         tell you.

                                     MILES
                              (preparing to swing)
                         Can you give me some room here?

                                     JACK
                              (stepping back)
                         Oh yeah. Sure.

               Miles lifts his club.

                                     JACK
                         You know, in life you gotta strike 
                         when the iron's hot.

                                     MILES
                         Thanks, Jack.

               Miles refocuses and SWINGS just as Jack offers more helpful 
               advice.

                                     JACK
                         Don't whiff it.

               WHACK! Despite the distraction, Miles manages to make a good, 
               long drive.

                                     JACK
                         Nice shot.

                                     MILES
                         You're an asshole.

               NOW ON THE FAIRWAY --

               Jack is pouring two Dixie cups of wine as Miles prepares to 
               take his next swing.

                                     JACK
                         What about your agent? Hear anything 
                         yet?

                                     MILES
                         Nope.

                                     JACK
                         What do you think's going on?

                                     MILES
                         Could be anything.

                                     JACK
                         Been checking your messages?

                                     MILES
                         Obsessively.

                                     JACK
                         Huh.

                                     MILES
                         They probably think my book is such 
                         a piece of shit that it's not even 
                         worthy of a response. I guess I'll 
                         just have to learn how to kiss off 
                         three years of my life.

                                     JACK
                         But you don't know yet, so your 
                         negativity's a bit premature, wouldn't 
                         you say?

               Miles says nothing.

                                     JACK
                         Or fuck those New York publishers. 
                         Publish it yourself. I'll chip in. 
                         Just get it out there, get it 
                         reviewed, get it in libraries. Let 
                         the public decide.

               Giving Jack a look that says Jack has no idea what he's 
               talking about, Miles takes a stance over the ball and focuses.

                                     JACK
                         Don't come over the top. Stay still.

                                     MILES
                         Shut up.

                                     JACK
                         Just trying to be helpful.
                              (a moment later)
                         It's all about stillness, Miles. 
                         Inner quiet.

               Miles drops his club and turns to Jack.

                                     MILES
                         Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! What's 
                         the matter with you, man? SHUT UP!

                                     JACK
                         Why are you so hostile? I know you're 
                         frustrated with your life right now, 
                         but you can choose not to be so 
                         hostile.
                              (holding out a cup of 
                              wine)
                         Here.

               Still fuming, Miles begrudgingly accepts the wine and has a 
               taste. He's immediately distracted from his woes.

                                     MILES
                         What is it?

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Got it from Stephanie.

               Miles downs the rest and is intrigued by the taste.

                                     MILES
                         Huh. Let me see the label.

               Suddenly a golfball THUDS against the hard fairway directly 
               behind them.

                                     JACK
                              (whirling around)
                         What the fuck?

               Way back on the tee box, some 200 yards away, are a FOURSOME 
               of two couples. One of the MEN is waving his driver.

                                     HUSBAND #1
                              (shouting, barely 
                              audible)
                         Hurry it up, will you?

               Jack looks at Miles, the two incredulous.

                                     MILES
                         Fucker hit into us.

                                     JACK
                              (yelling)
                         Hey, asshole! That's not cool!

                                     MILES
                         Throw me his ball.

               Jack walks over, picks up the offending ball and tosses it 
               to Miles. Miles gets out his 3-wood and -- THWOCK! -- cuts 
               it back low and hard.

                                     JACK
                         Nice shot.

               THE COUPLES

               duck for cover as the ball whistles over their heads.

               JACK AND MILES

               laugh hard.

               THE TWO HUSBANDS

               climb in their CART and hasten down the fairway toward Jack 
               and Miles.

               JACK

               watches their approach, grinning.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, this is going to be fun.
                              (jerking a driver 
                              from his bag)
                         This is going to be fun.

               Jack heads in their direction, brandishing the club like a 
               medieval knight with a mace.

               As the husbands get a look at this sight, they turn their 
               cart around and speed back toward their wives.

                                     JACK
                         Hit into us again, motherfuckers, 
                         and I'll ass-rape all four of you!

               EXT. GOLF COURSE CLUBHOUSE - DAY

               Jack and Miles are turning in their cart and hoisting their 
               clubs over their shoulders.

                                     JACK
                         Just don't give up on Maya. Cool 
                         smart chicks like that --they like 
                         persistence.

                                     MILES
                         I don't want to talk about it.

                                     JACK
                         All I know is she's beautiful. Lots 
                         of soul. Perfect for you. I'm not 
                         going to feel good about this trip 
                         until you guys hook up. Don't you 
                         just want to feel that cozy little 
                         box grip down on your Johnson?

               Nearby a GOLFER is with his YOUNG SON.

                                     GOLFER
                         Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?

               EXT. GOLF COURSE PARKING LOT - DAY

               Miles and Jack walk toward their car.

                                     JACK
                         Is it the money thing?

                                     MILES
                         Is what the money thing?

                                     JACK
                         With Maya.

                                     MILES
                         Well, yeah, that's part of it. Woman 
                         finds out how I live, that I'm not a 
                         published author, that I'm a liar 
                         essentially, then yeah, any interest 
                         is gonna evaporate real quick. If 
                         you don't have money at my age, you're 
                         not even in the game. You're just a 
                         pasture animal waiting for the 
                         abattoir.

                                     JACK
                         Is an abattoir like a... like a... 
                         what is that?

                                     MILES
                         Slaughterhouse.

                                     JACK
                         Abattoir. Huh. But you are going to 
                         get the good news this week about 
                         your book. I know you are. I can 
                         feel it.

               Jack's CELLPHONE rings, and he checks the caller ID.

                                     JACK
                         It's Steph.
                              (picking up)
                         Hey, baby. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yesssss. I 
                         mean I would, but let me see. Hey, 
                         Miles... Oh fuck it, we're going. 
                         We'll be right there. Me too.

               He snaps his phone shut and turns to Miles.

                                     JACK
                         We're on.

                                     MILES
                         What's happening?

                                     JACK
                         We're going to have some fun. Remember 
                         fun? We're going to have some of it. 
                         Okay?

                                     MILES
                         What exactly are we going to do?

                                     JACK
                         I said okay?

                                     MILES
                         You have to tell me --

                                     JACK
                         I SAID OKAY?

               Miles finally smiles.

                                     MILES
                         Okay.

               OMITTED

                                                 BIG FUN MUSIC BEGINS OVER:

               EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS OLIVOS - DAY

               A HIGH WIDE SHOT --

               The Saab pulls up where Stephanie and Maya await with bottles 
               of wine and a PICNIC BASKET. The girls climb into the back 
               seat, and the car speeds away.

               INT./EXT. THE SAAB - DAY

               They're going FAST, hair whipping around.

                                     MAYA
                         Hey, Miles, I heard you came by the 
                         restaurant last night looking for 
                         me.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, yeah. No. I mean yeah, I stopped 
                         by for a drink. Didn't see you.

                                     MAYA
                         I had class.

                                     MILES
                         Well, nice to see you now.

                                     MAYA
                         You too.

               EXT. BEAUTIFUL ROAD - DAY

               WHOOSH! That car's going a little too FAST!

               INT./EXT. LA PURISIMA MISSION CHURCH

               The two couples wander around this historic site.

               EXT. IDYLLIC PICNIC SPOT - DAY INTO DUSK

               The girls have led them to a beautiful spot.

               IN A SERIES OF SHOTS --

               we see the progress of their picnic. We don't hear them, but 
               there is a growing intimacy about their interaction. Even 
               Maya and Miles seem to be overcoming residual awkwardness 
               from the other night. Jack and Stephanie lean on each other 
               as they eat and sip wine.

               Finally, the two couples are SILHOUETTED against the SUNSET.

               EXT. WINERY #3 PARKING LOT - EVENING

               The parking lot is crowded. The foursome join others headed 
               toward the main building.

               INT. WINERY #3 - EVENING

               A LECTURE by British wine sage LESLIE BROUGH is in progress. 
               He holds aloft a RIEDEL BURGUNDY GLASS containing one of the 
               few but growing number of local reds worthy of his attention.

               IN THE AUDIENCE --

               As our foursome listen attentively, Jack leans over to Miles.

                                     JACK
                         You ever actually read any of this 
                         guy's books?

                                     MILES
                         He wrote a great one on Burgundy, 
                         and I used to get his newsletter, 
                         but then there were doubts about 
                         whether he does all his own tasting. 
                         Plus a couple of times he declared 
                         certain years vintages of the century, 
                         and they turned out to be turkeys. 
                         Fucker never retracted.

                                     JACK
                         Huh.

               Stephanie leans forward and signals to Maya with a YAWN or a 
               GAGGING FINGER IN MOUTH that they hightail it. Although Miles 
               protests at first, they stand and leave.

               AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM --

               Stephanie finds a DOOR which she tests to see whether it is 
               open. It is! She leads her pals furtively inside --

               INT. WINEMAKING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

               This is an enormous, dimly-lit chamber filled with stainless 
               steel FERMENTATION TANKS and stacks of OAK BARRELS.

               As the two couples walk in the near-darkness, they are 
               entranced. Maya takes Miles's hand and leads him away.

               LATER --

               In the background, Stephanie and Jack lean against a tank, 
               kissing.

               CAMERA DOLLIES to reveal Miles and Maya among the barrels in 
               the foreground. They are shy with each other, on the verge 
               of kissing but holding back.

               THE MUSIC CONTINUES...

               INT. STEPHANIE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               THREE BOTTLES OF WINE sit empty on the coffee table.

               WIDE --

               The four friends sit on the floor around the coffee table. 
               They drink wine and pass a JOINT. Suddenly they explode in 
               LAUGHTER.

               A sleepy Siena appears at the hallway door rubbing her eyes. 
               Stephanie gets up, but Jack stops her, gathers Siena in his 
               arms, and takes her back to bed.

               EXT. STEPHANIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

               The Saab pulls away from the house.

               INT. SAAB - NIGHT

               Miles sits in his own passenger seat as Maya tries her hand 
               at the Saab.

               EXT. MAYA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

               Maya leads Miles up her back stairway. They're both a little 
               woozy from the hours of drinking.

               AT THE DOOR --

               Maya searches through her purse for her keys while Miles 
               hovers directly behind her, staring at her ear. Her ear?

               Just as Maya puts the key in the lock, he impulsively leans 
               forward to kiss the nape of her neck. Maya's reaction is 
               immediate -- she turns to embrace Miles, giving him a long 
               KISS. Then she opens the door, pulls him inside and closes 
               the door in our face.

               The camera PANS to the nearby ROOFTOPS.

                                           MUSIC ENDS AND SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

               THE SAME VIEW BY DAY, SUPERIMPOSED WITH --

                                         THURSDAY

               The CAMERA PANS back to Maya's door, tilting down to find a 
               blue-wrapped NEW YORK TIMES. The door opens, and Maya's hand 
               picks up the newspaper. The CAMERA FOLLOWS Maya inside to -- 

               INT. MAYA'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

               It is a small, clean apartment furnished with simple taste.

               Maya is dressed in a ROBE and holds a COFFEE MUG. She drops 
               the paper on the dining table and continues into --

               THE BEDROOM --

               where Miles lies on his stomach DEAD TO THE WORLD. His stubbly 
               face is squished against the mattress and he SNORES lightly.

               Maya looks at him for a moment before shaking his foot.

               EXT. FARMERS' MARKET - DAY

               This is a weekly event in a big PARKING LOT -- organic 
               produce, candles and incense, honey and cider.

               Maya and Miles are shopping. Miles carries the bags.

               EXT. ORCHARD - DAY

               Across from each other at a PICNIC TABLE, and surrounded by 
               the remnants of BREAKFAST, Miles and Maya read the NEWSPAPER. 
               Miles is doing the CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

                                     MAYA
                         You guys should stop by the restaurant 
                         for lunch today.

                                     MILES
                         Great. What's the latest we can get 
                         there?

                                     MAYA
                         About two-thirty.

                                     MILES
                         Okay.

                                     MAYA
                              (noticing)
                         Did you hear about this Bordeaux 
                         tasting dinner down in Santa Barbara 
                         Saturday night? It's a little pricey, 
                         but if you wanted to go, I'd be into 
                         it. Why don't you stay through the 
                         weekend?

               Miles has just figured out a difficult clue. As he writes it 
               down --

                                     MILES
                         No, we've got to get back Friday for 
                         the rehearsal dinner.

                                     MAYA
                         What rehearsal dinner?

               Miles stops writing.

                                     MAYA
                         Who's getting married?

               INT./EXT. PARKING AREA NEAR THE ORCHARD - DAY

               Maya leads the way toward the Saab.

                                     MAYA
                         Were you ever going to say anything?

                                     MILES
                         Of course I was. I mean, just now I 
                         could have made up some story, but I 
                         didn't. I told you the truth.

               Maya turns to confront Miles with a look of "Give me a break." 
               Miles reaches out to touch her.

                                     MILES
                         Maya.

                                     MAYA
                              (jerking away)
                         Don't touch me. Just take me home.

               INT. SAAB - DAY

               Miles drives, glancing occasionally at Maya, who stares 
               straight ahead.

                                     MILES
                         I've told him. I've told him over 
                         and over, but he's out of control.

                                     MAYA
                         Do you know what he's been saying to 
                         her?

                                     MILES
                         He's an actor, so it can't be good.

                                     MAYA
                         Oh, just that he loves her. That 
                         she's the only woman who has ever 
                         really rocked his world. How he adores 
                         Siena. How he wants to move up here 
                         and get a place with the two of them 
                         and commute when he has to.

                                     MILES
                         I'm sure he believed every word.

               A stony silence.

                                     MILES
                         Please believe me. I was even on the 
                         verge of telling you last night, 
                         but...

                                     MAYA
                         But you wanted to fuck me first.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, Maya. No.

                                     MAYA
                         Yeah.

               EXT. MAYA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

               Miles brings the car to a stop. Maya opens the door and begins 
               to get out.

                                     MAYA
                         You know, I just spent three years 
                         trying to extricate myself from a 
                         relationship that turned out to be 
                         full of deception. And I've been 
                         doing just fine.

                                     MILES
                         And I haven't been with anyone since 
                         my divorce. This has been a big deal 
                         for me, Maya -- hanging out with 
                         you, and last night. I really like 
                         you, Maya. And I'm not Jack. I'm 
                         just his... his freshman roommate 
                         from San Diego State.

               Maya wants to let Miles's words reach her, but she can't 
               just yet.

                                     MAYA
                         Could I have my paper, please?

               Unsure what she wants at first, Miles reaches into the back 
               seat for the New York Times. He hands it to her and watches 
               until she goes inside.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - DAY

               Miles pulls up and parks.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               As Miles enters, a shirtless Jack drops the Barely Legal and 
               is immediately upon him, grabbing him in a big BEARHUG. The 
               TV is on, perhaps showing an E! True Hollywood Story.

                                     JACK
                         Yo! Yo! Here's my boy! Here's my 
                         boy! Who's your daddy, boy? Who is 
                         yo' daddy?

                                     MILES
                         Put me down, Jack.

               Jack continues his paean to Miles's triumphant night.

                                     MILES
                         I said put me down. Jack!

               Still gripping Miles in a bearhug, Jack flings the both of 
               them onto the bed. Now on top of Miles, Jack KISSES both 
               cheeks.

                                     JACK
                         I'm so proud of you! Let me love 
                         you!

               Now they get up off the bed.

                                     JACK
                         So tell me everything. Details. I 
                         like details.

                                     MILES
                         No.

                                     JACK
                         What?

                                     MILES
                         It's private.

                                     JACK
                         You're kidding, right? Tell me what 
                         happened, you fucker, or I'll tie 
                         your dick in a knot.

                                     MILES
                         Let's leave it alone.

               Jack looks at Miles, his face frozen with incomprehension.

                                     JACK
                         You didn't get any, did you?
                              (off Miles's silence)
                         You're a homo.

                                     MILES
                         Just stop, okay? Make something up, 
                         and that's what happened. Whatever 
                         you want. Write my confession, and 
                         I'll sign it. Just stop pushing me 
                         all the time! I can't take it! You're 
                         an infant! This is all a big party 
                         for you, but not for me! This is 
                         serious. And you -- Just... leave me 
                         alone, okay? You're fucking me up.

                                     JACK
                         Wow. Okay. Calm down. Sorry.

               Miles begins to calm down. Jack grows concerned and 
               sensitively puts one arm around his friend.

                                     JACK
                         Did you have trouble performing? 
                         Yeah, that's...

                                     MILES
                         Shut up! Shut up, Jack!

               The phone RINGS and both men look at it, silenced by the 
               ominous sound.

                                     MILES
                         Don't answer it.

               But Jack is drawn to it as though enticed by a strange game 
               of Russian roulette.

                                     MILES
                         I'm telling you, don't.

               Jack picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear.

                                     JACK
                         Hello? Oh, hey, honey. How you doing? 
                         Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
                              (mouthing)
                         Christine.

               Miles lies on his bed and clamps both hands over his ears. 
               His face is dark with resentment.

                                     JACK
                         Listen, honey. Let me call you back. 
                         Miles and I are in the middle of 
                         something. No, it's nothing serious -- 
                         Miles is just having one of his freak-
                         outs. Yeah. Love you too. I'll call 
                         you right back.

               Jack hangs up.

                                     MILES
                         This whole week has gone sour. It 
                         isn't turning out like it was supposed 
                         to.
                              (deadly serious)
                         I want to go home.

                                     JACK
                         Who's being selfish now? I'm the one 
                         getting married. I thought this week 
                         was supposed to be about me.

                                     MILES
                         We gotta slow down.
                              (closing his eyes)
                         I'm so tired. Let's just get out of 
                         here.

                                     JACK
                         I know what you need.

               INT. SEARS - DAY

               Jack watches Miles be fitted for SNEAKERS. A SALES ASSOCIATE 
               ties Miles's laces.

                                     SALES ASSOCIATE
                         There you go.

               Miles gets up and walks in a circle.

                                     MILES
                         Do you like them?

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, they're great. Sporty. They're 
                         really sporty.

                                     MILES
                         Are they too sporty?

               INT. MALL - DAY

               The boys exit Sears, Miles wearing his new shoes and carrying 
               a PLASTIC BAG with a string handle.

                                     JACK
                         Feel better?

               Miles shrugs.

                                     JACK
                              (noticing something)
                         Oh here, wait a second. I want to 
                         run in here real quick.

               He heads toward a TOYS STORE.

                                     JACK
                              (over his shoulder)
                         I want to get something for Siena.

               Mildly concerned, Miles watches Jack go into the store.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               Miles is slumped in the passenger seat as Jack drives. They 
               pass a BIG COMMERCIAL WINERY. Jack slows down, preparing to 
               turn in.

                                     JACK
                         How about this one? We didn't hit 
                         this one.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, it's Frass Canyon. It's a joke.

                                     JACK
                         You ever actually been in there, 
                         Miles?

                                     MILES
                         I don't have to.

                                     JACK
                              (turning the wheel)
                         I say we check it out. You never 
                         know.

               EXT. LARGE WINERY PARKING LOT - DAY

               The Saab finds a place in the large parking lot. A TOUR BUS, 
               whose flank reads "Solvang Wine Tours," is in the process of 
               letting out WINE TOURISTS, many of them elderly.

               INT. LARGE WINERY - DAY

               The room boasts not only a large TASTING BAR but also display 
               after display of t-shirts, golf shirts, olive oils, chocolate 
               sauces and other gourmet tourist items emblazoned with the 
               winery's logo.

               In the corner an ACOUSTIC GUITARIST with a small amp plays 
               soothing Windham Hill-ish music.

               The tasting bar is packed three-deep with TASTERS attended 
               to by HARRIED POURERS.

               Finally the POURER gets to their glasses. Miles chews a sip 
               and swallows, then downs the rest in a single gulp.

                                     MILES
                         Tastes like the back of a fucking LA 
                         schoolbus. Probably didn't de-stem, 
                         hoping for some semblance of 
                         concentration, crushed it up with 
                         leaves and mice, wound up with this 
                         rancid tar and turpentine mouthwash 
                         bullshit. Fucking Raid.

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Tastes okay to me.
                              (looking at the tasting 
                              sheet)
                         Hey, they got a reserve pinot.

                                     MILES
                         Let me use your phone.

                                     JACK
                              (handing it over)
                         What's up?

                                     MILES
                         I can't take it anymore. I've got to 
                         call Evelyn.

               EXT. LARGE WINERY - DAY

               Walking across the lawn outside, Miles holds the cellphone 
               to his ear.

                                     ASSISTANT (ON THE PHONE)
                         Evelyn Berman-Silverman's office.

                                     MILES
                         Hi, it's Miles.

                                     ASSISTANT (ON THE PHONE)
                         Oh, hi, Miles. Let me see if I can 
                         get her.
                              (a moment later)
                         You're in luck. I'll put you through.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         Miles.

                                     MILES
                         Hey, Evelyn, it's your favorite 
                         client.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         How's the trip?

                                     MILES
                         Good, good. Drinking some good wines 
                         and kicking back, you know. So what's 
                         happening? Still no word?

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         Actually there is word. I spoke to 
                         Keith Kurtzman this morning.

                                     MILES
                         And?

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         And... they're passing. Conundrum's 
                         passing. He said they really liked 
                         it. They really wanted to do it, but 
                         they just couldn't figure out how to 
                         market it. He said it was a tough 
                         call.

                                     MILES
                         Huh.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         I'm sorry, Miles.
                              (off his silence)
                         So I don't know where that leaves 
                         us. I'm not sure how much more mileage 
                         I can get out of continuing to submit 
                         it. I think it's one of those 
                         unfortunate cases in the business 
                         right now -- a fabulous book with no 
                         home. The whole industry's gotten 
                         gutless. It's not about the quality 
                         of the books. It's about the 
                         marketing.

               Miles is at a loss for words. A distant RUMBLE begins to 
               sound, the familiar harbinger of an anxiety attack.

               EXT. DEEP CANYON - INSERT

               Once again we see the narrow ROPE BRIDGE extending 
               vertiginously across a great CHASM.

               EXT. LARGE WINERY - BACK AGAIN

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         Are you there? Miles?

                                     MILES
                         Yeah, I'm here.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         I'm sorry, Miles. We did all we could. 
                         You've been a real trooper.
                              (loudly, to her 
                              assistant)
                         Tell him I'll call back.

                                     MILES
                         So I guess that's it.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         You're a wonderful writer, Miles. 
                         Don't be discouraged.

               MOMENTS LATER --

               Miles STAGGERS toward the tasting room, unpocketing his Xanax 
               and downing a couple, as Evelyn's clichés of consolation 
               continue in his head.

                                     EVELYN (ON THE PHONE)
                         Just hang in there, and who knows? 
                         After you get something else 
                         published, we can revisit this one. 
                         And next time we can try a different 
                         title.

               Once back at the tent, he leans against it in a vain attempt 
               to steady himself. The RUMBLE grows deafening.

               INT. LARGE WINERY - DAY

               Now inside, Miles grabs the first DIRTY WINE GLASS he finds 
               and shakes it out as he approaches the closest tasting 
               station. He pushes his way to front.

               The pourer offers the usual one-ounce dollop. Miles jacks it 
               back, immediately extending his glass for more.

                                     MILES
                         Hit me again.

               The same small amount is poured and downed. Once again Miles 
               holds out his glass.

                                     MILES
                         Pour me a full glass. I'll pay for 
                         it.

                                     POURER
                         This is a tasting, sir. Not a bar.

               Miles slams a TWENTY-DOLLAR BILL on the table.

                                     MILES
                         Just give me a full goddamn pour.

               The pourer turns away to serve another party. Miles looks 
               around indignantly, as though everyone should be sympathetic 
               to this injustice.

               Now Miles boldly reaches over and pours himself a glass right 
               up to the brim and beyond.

                                     POURER
                         Sir, what are you doing?

                                     MILES
                         I told you I need a drink.

                                     POURER
                         Then buy a bottle and go outside.

               The pourer grabs Miles by the wrist before he can drink.

                                     POURER
                         Put the glass down.

               In the ensuing struggle, the wine spills, and everyone nearby 
               steps back.

                                     POURER
                         You're going to have to leave, sir.

               The pourer signals to a SECURITY GUY at the door. Across the 
               room Jack notices the disturbance and heads over.

               Miles hoists up the SPIT BUCKET, holds it aloft and starts 
               to GUZZLE it. Wine cascades down the sides of his face, onto 
               his shirt and even onto his shiny new shoes.

               The Security Guy yanks the bucket away from Miles, and drags 
               him toward the EXIT. Jack catches up.

                                     JACK
                              (to the horrified 
                              onlookers)
                         It's all right. His mother just died.

               EXT. BEACH - DAY

               Two PELICANS soar low over the water. One of the DIVES, 
               crashing into the water and disappearing from view.

               Jack and Miles sit on the hood of the Saab, gazing at the 
               ocean, sharing a bottle of wine.

                                     JACK
                         Just write another one. You have 
                         lots of ideas, right?

                                     MILES
                         No, I'm finished. I'm not a writer. 
                         I'm a middle-school English teacher. 
                         I'm going to spend the rest of my 
                         life grading essays and reading the 
                         works of others. It's okay. I like 
                         books. The world doesn't give a shit 
                         what I have to say. I'm unnecessary.
                              (a dark laugh)
                         I'm so insignificant, I can't even 
                         kill myself.

                                     JACK
                         What's that supposed to mean?

                                     MILES
                         You know -- Hemingway, Sexton, Woolf, 
                         Plath, Delmore Schwartz. You can't 
                         kill yourself before you've even 
                         been published.

                                     JACK
                         What about that guy who wrote 
                         Confederacy of Dunces? He committed 
                         suicide before he got published, and 
                         look how famous he is.

                                     MILES
                         Thanks.

                                     JACK
                         Don't give up. You're going to make 
                         it.

                                     MILES
                         Half my life is over, and I have 
                         nothing to show for it. I'm a 
                         thumbprint on the window of a 
                         skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement 
                         on a tissue surging out to sea with 
                         a million tons of raw sewage.

                                     JACK
                         See? Right there. Just what you just 
                         said. That's beautiful. A thumbprint 
                         on a skyscraper. I couldn't write 
                         that.

                                     MILES
                         Neither could I. I think it's 
                         Bukowski.

               Unable to respond, Jack looks up and down the beach.

               EXT. BUCOLIC ROAD - DAY

               ZOOM! There goes the Saab.

               The CAMERA lingers behind and PANS to reveal THE DEAD DOG, 
               now covered with FLIES AND MAGGOTS.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN - DAY

               Jack and Miles pull into the parking lot.

                                     JACK
                              (lighting up)
                         Oh, look. There's Steph!

               He smiles broadly and honks his horn. Miles turns to see --

               STEPHANIE

               seated halfway up on the motel stairs, her HELMET in her 
               lap, watching patiently as --

               THE SAAB

               pulls to a stop in a parking space.

               Miles masks his concern as he gets out of the car and reaches 
               in the backseat for his Sears bag.

                                     JACK
                              (calling out)
                         Hey, baby.

               Stephanie stands up and slowly descends the steps, as Jack 
               reaches into the trunk and pulls out a BIG CUDDLY LION DOLL.

                                     JACK
                         Look what I got for our favorite 
                         girl.

               Stephanie walks toward Jack as he waddles toward her hugging 
               the lion. When they get close, Stephanie's face transforms 
               with rage.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

               She swings her helmet and HITS JACK FULL IN THE FACE.

               Jack falls, blood spraying out of his nose. Stephanie stands 
               over him and continues to BEAT HIM with her helmet as he 
               rolls back and forth, protecting his head with the stuffed 
               lion.

               Miles ineffectually attempts to stop her, dancing just out 
               of range.

                                     MILES
                         Stephanie! Stop!

                                     STEPHANIE
                         You fucking bastard! Lying piece of 
                         shit! You're getting married on 
                         Saturday? What was all that shit you 
                         said to me?

                                     JACK
                         I can explain.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         You said you loved me! You fuck! I 
                         hope you die!

               With that she backs away. Glancing at her bloodied helmet, 
               she tosses it onto the pavement before getting on her bike.

                                     STEPHANIE
                         Fuckface!
                              (to Miles)
                         You too!

               As she speeds away, Miles is left to comfort his wounded 
               friend. The lion lies nearby, staring blankly at the sky.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               Seated in the passenger seat and in great agony, Jack presses 
               a BLOOD-SOAKED TOWEL against his face.

                                     MILES
                         Aren't you glad you didn't move up 
                         here and marry her?

                                     JACK
                         Don't need a lecture. You fucking 
                         told Maya, didn't you?

                                     MILES
                         No, I did not. Must have been Gary 
                         at the Hitching Post. I think we 
                         mentioned it to him the first night.

                                     JACK
                         You told him. I'm fucking hurting 
                         here.

                                     MILES
                         Keep it elevated.

               INT. HOSPITAL ER WAITING ROOM - DAY

               CLOSE ON A COSMOPOLITAN open to an article titled "24 Ways 
               To Please Your Man."

               WIDER --

               Miles reads, while nearby a YOUNG BOY dry-heaves into a 
               garbage can held by his FATHER. An OLD WOMAN parked in a 
               wheelchair faces the wall.

               LATER --

               Miles is at a PAYPHONE. As he speaks he tries to peel off 
               the metal LONG DISTANCE STICKER.

                                     MAYA (ON THE PHONE)
                         Hi. It's Maya. Please leave a message.

                                     MILES
                         It's Miles. Listen, I don't know if 
                         you even care, but I had to call and 
                         tell you again how much I enjoyed 
                         our time together and how sorry I am 
                         things turned out the way they did. 
                         I think you're great, Maya -- always 
                         have. From the first time you waited 
                         on me.
                              (bracing himself)
                         And while I'm at it, I guess you 
                         should know that my book is not 
                         getting published. I thought this 
                         one had a chance, but I was wrong. 
                         Again. Don't bother reading it -- 
                         you've got better things to do. So 
                         you see I'm not much of a writer. 
                         I'm not anything really. The only 
                         real talent I seem to have is for 
                         disappointing people and now you 
                         know that firsthand. We're leaving 
                         in the morning, and I want you to 
                         know that I take with me wonderful 
                         memories of you. I'm sorry. I'm really 
                         sorry.

               What else to say? He hangs up.

               He returns to his seat. A moment later he extends his legs 
               to look at his new SHOES now STAINED WITH WINE.

               LATER --

               Jack emerges unsteadily from the bowels of the emergency 
               room, his face purple and swollen beneath the HUGE WHITE 
               BANDAGE that holds the NOSEGUARD in place. Miles walks with 
               him toward the exit.

                                     MILES
                         Well?

                                     JACK
                         I'm going to need an operation. Maybe 
                         a couple of them. They have to wait 
                         for it it to heal first. Then they 
                         break it again.

                                     MILES
                         Good thing you have a voice-over 
                         career.

                                     JACK
                         Gonna fuck that up too. I should sue 
                         her ass. Only reason I won't is to 
                         protect Christine.

                                     MILES
                         That's thoughtful.

                                     JACK
                              (disgusted)
                         Yeah.

               They walk by us and out the door.

               EXT. STREET IN SOLVANG - DAY

               Jack sits in the Saab's passenger side with the seat almost 
               fully reclined. When his agony allows him to open his eyes, 
               he glares at the DANISH THEMED STORES lining the street. An 
               ABELSKIVER MAKER plies his lofty trade in a nearby window. 
               He hears a strange CLOMPING NOISE and turns his head to see 
               a MAN IN WOODEN CLOGS walking noisily down the street, dressed 
               in a TRADITIONAL DANISH COSTUME and carrying a TUBA. Jack 
               takes a slug of wine.

               Just then Miles gets back in the car.

                                     JACK
                         I hate this place.

               Miles tears open a paper bag and removes a bottle of pills. 
               A closer angle reveals them as VICODIN.

                                     MILES
                         Take a couple of these, and you'll 
                         learn to love it.

               Miles opens the bottle and hands Jack two PILLS.

                                     MILES
                         Two for you. And two for me.

               Jack washes down the pills and passes the bottle to Miles, 
               who follows suit.

               EXT. WINDMILL INN JACUZZI - EVENING

               Jack and Miles sit across from each other. For the first 
               time we see LARGE PURPLE BRUISES on Jack's arms and chest.

                                     JACK
                         So how did Stephanie know it was 
                         Saturday? We didn't get into that 
                         with Gary.

                                     MILES
                         Huh. Let me think.

                                     JACK
                         You sure you didn't say anything to 
                         Maya?

                                     MILES
                         Sure I'm sure. And just what are you 
                         implying? I'm really pissed off at 
                         you about all this, if you want to 
                         know the truth. What's Maya going to 
                         think of me now just for associating 
                         with you? You're the one who's 
                         sabotaging me, not the other way 
                         around, pal. Not by a longshot.

               Jack takes a long lie-detecting look at Miles.

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Just seems fishy.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

               The boys lie on their respective beds staring at the TV. 
               Jack gets up and lumbers slowly to the dresser MIRROR like a 
               large dog who has just been neutered.

                                     JACK
                         What's it look like to you?

                                     MILES
                         Looks like you were in a bad car 
                         accident.

               Jack turns to Miles, nodding and thinking. Then he looks 
               back in the mirror.

                                     JACK
                         I'm hungry.

               EXT. A.J. SPURS BARBECUE - NIGHT

               Establishing. Thursday night is Cajun Wings Night.

               INT. A.J. SPURS BARBECUE - NIGHT

               Miles and Jack are finishing their SALADS in the rustic- 
               themed restaurant festooned with animal trophies.

                                     JACK
                         You know what I'm thinking?

                                     MILES
                         What's that?

                                     JACK
                         I'm thinking it's time to settle 
                         down. One woman. One house. You know. 
                         It's time.

                                     MILES
                         Uh-huh.

               Jack nods his head with no self-awareness or acknowledgment 
               of the irony.

               NOW TWO PLATES ARRIVE

               mounded high with ribs, slaw, beans and butter-whipped mashed 
               potatoes.

                                     JACK
                         Mm. Mm.

               Their cheery, saftig blonde WAITRESS removes several FOIL 
               PACKETS from her apron and places them on the table.

                                     WAITRESS
                         And here're your Handi-wipes.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, so that's what those are? For a 
                         second there I thought you guys were 
                         promoting safe sex.

               The waitress OVER-LAUGHS and swipes a hand at her naughty 
               customer.

                                     WAITRESS
                         I'll be right back with more corn 
                         bread.

               Jack watches her go and leans in close to Miles.

                                     JACK
                         I bet you that chick is two tons of 
                         fun. You know, the grateful type.

                                     MILES
                         I don't know. I wouldn't know.

               Now she comes back toward the table carrying a BIG BASKET. 
               Beneath the hideous uniform, her nylons SH-SH-SH as she walks. 
               When she arrives, she replenishes their corn bread basket 
               using big TONGS. Jack watches attentively.

                                     JACK
                         Nice technique there...
                              (checking her name 
                              tag)
                         ...Cammi.

                                     CAMMI
                         It's all in the wrist.
                              (a moment later)
                         You know, you look really familiar. 
                         You from around here? Where'd you go 
                         to high school?

                                     JACK
                         No, we're from San Diego. Why?

                                     CAMMI
                         I don't know. You just seem really 
                         familiar to me. Never mind. Enjoy 
                         your meals.

                                     JACK
                         Hang on. Did you ever know a Derek 
                         Sommersby?

                                     CAMMI
                         Doctor Derek Sommersby? You mean 
                         from "One Life to Live"?

               Miles looks away and sighs.

                                     JACK
                         You have to imagine him with a bandage 
                         and shorter hair.

               As Cammi stares at Jack, her face transforms in astonishment.

                                     CAMMI
                         No. Way. No way!

               Jack smiles and nods.

                                     CAMMI
                         Oh, my God!

                                     MILES
                         Could you tell me where the bathroom 
                         is?

                                     CAMMI
                              (her eyes barely 
                              leaving Jack)
                         Uh, sure, it's right over there, 
                         right past the buffalo.

               IN A WIDE SHOT --

               Miles gets up and heads toward the bathroom as Jack's 
               flirtation with Cammi continues.

               The camera PANS with Miles as he walks by us and goes through 
               the bathroom door, which closes behind him, filling the frame 
               with the word "MEN."

               LATER --

               A TOOTHPICK DISPENSER as a finger tips it forward to dispense 
               one.

               WIDER --

               Miles stands by the cash register and PICKS HIS TEETH as he 
               watches Jack finish speaking with Cammi and head his way.

                                     JACK
                         She gets off in an hour, so I think 
                         I'm just going to have a drink and 
                         then... make sure she gets home safe.

                                     MILES
                         You're joking, right?
                              (seeing that he isn't)
                         What are you doing? Un-fucking-
                         believeable. Can we just go back to 
                         the hotel and hang out and get up 
                         early and play nine holes before we 
                         head home?

               Jack rests one hand on Miles's shoulder and drops his head, 
               thinking how best to put it.

                                     JACK
                         Look, Miles. I know you're my friend 
                         and you care about me. And I know 
                         you disapprove. I respect that. But 
                         there are some things I have to do 
                         that you don't understand. You 
                         understand wine and literature and 
                         movies, but you don't understand my 
                         plight. And that's okay.

               CLOSE ON MILES --

               as the disappointment in his friend deepens by the moment.

                                                             FADE TO BLACK:

               UNDER BLACK, SUPERIMPOSED --

                                          FRIDAY

               Now comes the sound of hysterical KNOCKING.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAWN

               Despite the knocking, Miles remains motionless in bed, his 
               expression serene.

               Finally he awakens and drags himself toward the door, opening 
               it to find --

               JACK

               silhouetted against the first rosy fingers of dawn. He is 
               barefoot. In fact he is clad only in his UNDERWEAR. Hugging 
               himself, he PANTS and SHIVERS.

                                     JACK
                         Jesus fucking Christ, it's freezing.

               He limps past Miles, yanks off the bed covers and wraps them 
               around himself.

                                     JACK
                         Vicodin. Where's the Vicodin? My 
                         nose.

               Miles hands him the bottle, and Jack frantically pops a couple 
               of pills, chewing them like candy. He sits down and bends 
               over at the waist as though preparing for an airplane crash.

                                     JACK
                         Fucking chick's married.

                                     MILES
                         What?

                                     JACK
                         Her husband works a night shift or 
                         something, and he comes home, and 
                         I'm on the floor with my cock in his 
                         wife's ass.

                                     MILES
                         Jesus, Jack. Jesus. And you walked 
                         all the way back from Solvang?

                                     JACK
                         Ran. Twisted my ankle too.

                                     MILES
                         That's five clicks, Jackson.

                                     JACK
                         Fucking-a it's five clicks! At one 
                         point I had to cut through an ostrich 
                         farm. Fuckers are mean.

               Miles has now awakened to take in the absurdity of the whole 
               scene, and he LAUGHS HARD. The blanketed bulge just sits 
               there. Finally it looks up and shows its pitiful visage.

                                     JACK
                         We gotta go back.

                                     MILES
                         What?

                                     JACK
                         I left my wallet. My credit cards, 
                         cash, fucking ID, everything. We 
                         gotta go back.

                                     MILES
                         Big deal. We'll call right now and 
                         cancel your cards.

                                     JACK
                         You don't understand. The wedding 
                         bands. The wedding bands are in my 
                         wallet.

                                     MILES
                         Okay, so they were in your wallet, 
                         and you left your wallet somewhere. 
                         Some bar. Christine'll understand.

                                     JACK
                         No. She ordered them special. Took 
                         her forever to find them. They've 
                         got this design on them with dolphins 
                         and our names engraved in Sanskrit. 
                         We've got to go back. Christine'll 
                         fucking crucify me.

                                     MILES
                         No way. No way.

                                     JACK
                              (a pitiful whine)
                         Please, Miles, please.

                                     MILES
                         Forget it. Your wallet was stolen at 
                         a bar. Happens every day.

               Jack stares straight ahead, breathing through his mouth as 
               he considers this. Then --

                                     JACK
                         No, we've got to get my wallet! Those 
                         rings are irreplaceable! We've got 
                         to get them, Miles! I fucked up! I 
                         know I fucked up, okay? I fucked up. 
                         You gotta help me. You gotta help 
                         me. Pleeeease!

               Jack now descends to a level of wretchedness and desperation 
               that Miles has never seen before in Jack, or in anyone else 
               for that matter.

                                     JACK
                         Oh, God, please... Oh God. I know 
                         I'm bad. I know I did a bad thing. 
                         Help me, Miles. Just this one thing, 
                         this one last thing. I can't lose 
                         Christine. I can't. I'm nothing 
                         without her. Please, Miles, please... 
                         uuuuu... uuuuuu.... uuuuuuu......

               No longer able to form words, Jack is reduced to emitting 
               low, primitive sounds. Snot flows from beneath his bandaged 
               nose.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - MORNING

               Miles drives in the early-morning light. Jack is now subdued, 
               quieted by his pain and exhaustion.

                                     MILES
                         She tell you she was married?

                                     JACK
                         Yeah.

                                     MILES
                         So what the fuck were you thinking?

                                     JACK
                         Wasn't supposed to be back till six. 
                         Fucker rolls in at five.

                                     MILES
                         Cutting it a little close, don't you 
                         think?
                              (off Jack's silence)
                         So how was she? Compared to Stephanie, 
                         say.

                                     JACK
                         Horny as shit. Flopping around like 
                         a landed trout.

               EXT. LOW-RENT STREET - MORNING

               The Saab creeps around a corner.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - MORNING

               Jack scans the street.

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, this is the block. Just keep 
                         going...
                              (spotting an AMC Pacer)
                         Yeah! This is it. There's her car.

               Miles pulls over and cuts the engine.

                                     MILES
                         So what's the plan?

                                     JACK
                         The plan is... you go.

                                     MILES
                         Me?

                                     JACK
                         My ankle. Just go explain the 
                         situation.

                                     MILES
                              (sarcastic, clearing 
                              his throat)
                         Uh, excuse me, sir, but my friend 
                         was the one balling your wife a couple 
                         hours ago, and he seems to have left 
                         his wallet behind, and we were 
                         wondering...

                                     JACK
                         Yeah, yeah. Like that. Just like 
                         that.

               Miles gives Jack a withering look. Jack reaches for the DOOR 
               HANDLE.

                                     JACK
                         Fuck you. I'll get it myself.

                                     MILES
                              (grabbing Jack's shirt)
                         Hold on.

               EXT. CAMMI'S STREET - MORNING

               Miles crosses the street and approaches --

               EXT. CAMMI'S HOUSE - MORNING

               Miles presses his ear against the front door. Nothing. Then 
               he notices --

               A SLIDING GLASS DOOR a few feet away, just barely cracked 
               open.

               MILES creeps over, sticks his hand into the open space and 
               pulls back the curtain to reveal --

               A LIVING ROOM the is hideously MESSY. Draped over a deformed 
               beanbag chair are JACK'S LEVI'S.

               Miles gathers his courage, carefully slides open the glass 
               door, and creeps inside.

               INT. CAMMI'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

               A furtive search of Jack's pockets reveals NOTHING. Then 
               Miles notices a HIGH-PITCHED SOUND wafting from an open door 
               down a short HALLWAY.

               Miles feverishly begins foraging through the debris on the 
               floor. Again nothing. Meanwhile the noise from the bedroom 
               grows louder -- female MOANING in odd rhythmic unison with a 
               MAN'S VOICE.

               IN THE HALLWAY --

               Miles gets on ALL FOURS and starts crawling, weaving his way 
               through a trail of shoes and clothes.

               Nearing the open door, the sounds grow more distinct --

                                     MAN
                         You don't think I fuck you, bitch? 
                         I'll fuck you.

                                     CAMMI
                         I'm a bad girl. I'm a bad girl.

               Miles peers around the corner of the open door to see --

               INT. CAMMI'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

               Cammi is TIED to the faux brass headboard. A BIG GUY slams 
               away at her. In the corner a soundless TV shows a PRESIDENTIAL 
               PRESS CONFERENCE.

                                     MAN
                         You picked him up and you fucked 
                         him, didn't you, bitch?

                                     CAMMI
                         I picked him up and I fucked him. 
                         I'm a bad girl.

                                     MAN
                         And you liked fucking him, didn't 
                         you, you fat little whore?

                                     CAMMI
                         I liked it when you caught me fucking 
                         him.

               Whoa!

               Miles manages to tear his eyes away from this nature 
               documentary and scan the room.

               IRIS IN --

               to the WALLET atop the dresser.

               Miles's eyes dart back and forth between the couple and the 
               wallet. His HEART BEATING LOUDLY, he goes for it. He scrambles 
               to his feet, dashes across the room, seizes the wallet and 
               tears out. Behind him he hears -- 

                                     MAN (O.S.)
                         The fuck was that?

                                     CAMMI (O.S.)
                         The wallet! He took Derek's wallet!

               EXT. CAMMI'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

               Miles comes flying out of the sliding glass door, followed 
               swiftly by the man, who is of course STARK NAKED. And he's 
               fast for a man his size.

                                     CAMMI (O.S.)
                         Get him!

               INT. SAAB - MORNING

               Jack is reclined in the passenger seat FAST ASLEEP. On the 
               radio NPR'S CARL KASSEL reads the news.

               THROUGH THE DRIVER'S WINDOW --

               Miles comes sprinting towards us, mere steps ahead of Cammi's 
               naked husband. Finding the car door locked, Miles knocks 
               loudly on the glass, startling Jack awake.

                                     MILES
                         Open up! Jesus! Open the goddamn 
                         door!

               Jack flips the electric locks just in time for Miles to get 
               in before --

               WHUMP! The guy's BELLY hits the window. He pounds on the 
               roof before trying the door, now re-locked.

                                     MAN
                         You motherfuckers! I'll kill you! 
                         I'll kill you motherfuckers!

               Miles starts the car and begins to drive away. The guy tries 
               to keep up but can't, running barefoot on asphalt. Jack turns 
               to look --

               OUT THE BACK WINDOW --

               The guy recedes in the distance.

               JACK

               removes the rings from the wallet.

                                     JACK
                         You did it! You fucking did it!

               They LAUGH and SLAP HANDS.

               CLOSE ON MILES --

               For all his failures, this time he did something right.

               INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

               The shades are drawn. Jack is CRASHED OUT on the bed, snoring 
               loudly. Miles folds his shirts and trousers -- readying his 
               bags for departure.

               At one moment he stops and watches his friend sleep.

               A KNOCK at the door. Miles goes to answer it, but once his 
               hand is on the knob, he pauses. If we're perceptive, we will 
               know he's hoping against hope that it's Maya.

               He opens it. It's just the MAID with her big CART.

                                     MAID
                         Housekeeping.

               OMIT.

               EXT. 101 FREEWAY - DAY

               The Saab enters the freeway and heads south.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               Miles drives while Jack stares out the window, WATCHING THE 
               LANDSCAPE CHANGE as they leave wine country.

                                     MILES
                         Hey, Jack. Jack.

                                     JACK
                         Hrnrnrn?

                                     MILES
                         That was quite a day yesterday.

               Jack's eyes close, but his lips spread into a smile.

                                     JACK
                         Yep. Quite a day.

                                     MILES
                         Quite a week.

               EXT. 101 FREEWAY - DAY

               A driving shot.

               EXT. FILLING STATION - DAY

               Miles pumps the gas, while nearby Jack stretches his legs. 
               As Miles puts the nozzle back in place --

                                     JACK
                         Want me to drive?

                                     MILES
                         No, I'm okay.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, why don't you invite Maya to 
                         the wedding?

                                     MILES
                         Somehow I don't think inviting Maya 
                         to your wedding is the right move. 
                         In fact, after your bullshit, it's 
                         going to be hard for me to even go 
                         to the Hitching Post again.

                                     JACK
                         You're so negative.

               Miles replaces the hose and screws on the gas cap.

                                     JACK
                         Come on, let me drive.

                                     MILES
                         I'm fine. You rest.

                                     JACK
                         I feel like driving.

               INT. SAAB - DAY

               As the car makes its way back toward the freeway, Jack looks 
               over at Miles and slows the car to a stop.

                                     MILES
                         What's wrong?

                                     JACK
                         Nothing. Buckle up, okay?

               Miles obeys. Without hesitation, Jack accelerates and JUMPS 
               THE CURB, heading into --

               EXT. VACANT LOT - CONTINUOUS

               The Saab plows INTO A TREE.

               INT. SAAB - CONTINUOUS

                                     MILES
                         What the fuck!

                                     JACK
                              (pointing at his face)
                         You said it looked like a car 
                         accident.

                                     MILES
                         What the fuck!

                                     JACK
                         I'll pay for it.

               EXT. VACANT LOT - DAY

               They get out to inspect the damage. The hood is slightly 
               crumpled, and the front fender is bent.

                                     MILES
                         Look at this!

                                     JACK
                         I don't know. Doesn't look like 
                         anybody got hurt in this one.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, no. Oh, Christ. No, you don't.

                                     JACK
                         You need a new car anyway.

               Miles looks at his friend, incredulous.

                                     JACK
                         I said I'd pay for it.

               MOMENTS LATER --

               The trunk is open, and the guys are unloading their cases of 
               wine. Miles notices that one box is DRIPPING.

                                     MILES
                         You broke some.

                                     JACK
                         Whatever. Sorry.

                                     MILES
                         No, not whatever. You fucking 
                         derelict.

               MOMENTS LATER --

               Miles looks on as Jack hoists a FOUNDATION BLOCK toward the 
               open driver's door of the Saab.

                                     JACK
                         You ready?

               Miles waves his hand in a gesture of "Get it over with."

               Grunting with effort, Jack leans inside the car and drops 
               the foundation block onto the GAS PEDAL.

               Direct hit! Jack leaps backward and hits the dirt just in 
               time.

               Miles and Jack watch the driverless Saab race toward the 
               tree, its speed increasing. But just before hitting it, the 
               car drifts to one side and SAILS RIGHT PAST.

                                     MILES
                         Oh, fuck!

               The car zooms wildly across the vacant lot and, missing the 
               tree, continues on until CRASHING THROUGH A FENCE and finally 
               toppling headlong into a CEMENT TRENCH. Only the back of the 
               car remains visible.

               The whole thing is finished in a matter of seconds. Still 
               frozen in place, Miles and Jack turn slowly to each other.

                                     JACK
                         It's okay. I've got Triple A.

               EXT. 101 FREEWAY - DAY

               From in front of the Saab, we see its now CRUMPLED HOOD and 
               FENDER, a couple of BUNGEE CORDS holding the whole thing 
               together.

               EXT. PALOS VERDES STREET - DAY

               The Saab approaches the end of the line.

               EXT. ERGANIAN HOUSE --DAY

               AT THE FRONT PORCH --

               Miles has helped Jack carry his bags and the wine. He plops 
               the last case down.

                                     MILES
                         Well. That about does it.

                                     JACK
                         Why don't you come in?

                                     MILES
                         Uh-uh. You're on your own.

                                     JACK
                         So I'll see you at the rehearsal.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah.

               They give each other a brief manly back-slappy hug.

                                     JACK
                         Love you, man.

                                     MILES
                         Back at you.

               Miles heads toward the curb.

                                     JACK
                         Hey, don't pull away till they see 
                         the car.

                                     MILES
                              (over his shoulder)
                         Yeah.
                              (turning around)
                         Hey, why wasn't I injured?

                                     JACK
                              (big smile)
                         You were wearing your belt.

               BACK AT HIS CAR --

               Miles gets in and watches through the side window as Mrs. 
               Erganian opens the front door and welcomes Jack with shock 
               and dismay. Jack points back at --

               MILES raising one hand in a feeble wave. The camera slowly 
               MOVES CLOSER as he continues to watch --

               JACK --

               weaving his story of woe. He's a great actor when he wants 
               to be. Mr. Erganian and a mortified Christine come to the 
               door too. Mr. Erganian takes a few steps toward the car to 
               get a better look.

               VERY CLOSE ON MILES --

               watching the drama play out. Then his eyes drop as he 
               momentarily loses himself in melancholy. This reverie is 
               interrupted by --

               THE VOICE OF AN ARMENIAN PRIEST

               Startled, Miles turns to look at --

               A PRIEST

               who is singing the BLESSING OF THE RINGS.

               We are now in --

               INT. ARMENIAN APOSTOLIC CHURCH - DAY

               The church is packed.

               CLOSE ON THE RINGS as the priest holds them aloft.

               If those rings could talk... Jack shoots a quick look at 
               Miles, who looks right back. The priest continues his 
               blessing.

               EXT. ARMENIAN CHURCH - DAY

               AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS --

               The WEDDING FAMILIES greet the exiting guests in a RECEIVING 
               LINE. Smiling and exuberant, Jack seems utterly at home as 
               the new groom.

               AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STEPS --

               Miles watches the scene, not without melancholy. Then --

                                     VICTORIA (O.S.)
                         Hey, Miles.

               Miles turns and looks up to see Victoria, standing one step 
               above him. Just behind her is her NEW HUSBAND. He exudes the 
               quiet confidence of a successful businessman who played 
               college football, takes expensive skiing and sailing 
               vacations, and hasn't read a novel since high school.

                                     MILES
                         Hi, Vicki.
                              (taking her in)
                         You look beautiful.

                                     VICTORIA
                         Thanks. Um, this is Ken Cortland, my 
                         husband.

               From his spot hovering over Miles, Ken leans down and offers 
               his hand.

                                     KEN
                         How are you?

                                     MILES
                         Hi. How you doing? You're a lucky 
                         guy.

                                     KEN
                         Thanks.
                              (to Victoria)
                         I'll wait for you at the car.
                              (to Miles)
                         Nice to meet you, Miles.

                                     MILES
                         Ken.

               Exit Ken.

                                     MILES
                         That was big of him.

                                     VICTORIA
                         Yeah, he's good that way. Very 
                         considerate.

                                     MILES
                         That's great.

                                     VICTORIA
                         So how're you doing?

                                     MILES
                         Since the last time we spoke? I don't 
                         know. Could be better. Could be worse.

                                     VICTORIA
                         So what's happening with your book?

                                     MILES
                         Universally rejected. Strike three.

                                     VICTORIA
                         Oh, Miles. That's awful. What are 
                         you going to do?

                                     MILES
                         Back to the drawing board, I guess. 
                         Or not. So... you're married. 
                         Congratulations. You look happy.

                                     VICTORIA
                         I am.

                                     MILES
                         Seems like everyone's getting married. 
                         A year ago it was all divorces. Now 
                         it's all weddings. Cyclical, I guess.

                                     VICTORIA
                         I guess.

               Just then a BLACK LINCOLN NAVIGATOR pulls up alongside the 
               curb. The passenger side window is halfway down, and the 
               sounds of Adult Contemporary Jazz waft out. Victoria gives 
               Ken a little wave.

                                     MILES
                              (shifting gears)
                         Well, let's go have some champagne, 
                         shall we? Toast all the newlyweds.

                                     VICTORIA
                         Not me. I'm not drinking.

                                     MILES
                         You quit drinking?

                                     VICTORIA
                         I'm pregnant.

                                     MILES
                              (hit in the solar 
                              plexus)
                         Oh. Huh. Well...
                              (rallying)
                         Congratulations again, Vicki. That's 
                         wonderful news.

                                     VICTORIA
                              (going to the car)
                         See you over there, Miles.

                                     MILES
                         Yeah.

               As she gets in the car and cruises away, Miles glances back 
               at --

               THE RECEIVING LINE

               -- where Mike Erganian is introducing Jack to some dear old 
               FRIENDS. Mike throws a loving arm around his new son-in-law, 
               and Jack is drawn into Mike's bosom.

               EXT. STREET - DAY

               A HAND-PAINTED SIGN, attached to a STOP SIGH and decorated 
               with balloons, reads: "RECEPTION THIS WAY!" with an arrow 
               pointing RIGHT.

               One by one, CARS are making a right turn. But when his turn 
               comes, Miles turns LEFT.

               EXT. MILES'S APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY

               The Saab pull up outside. Miles leaves the car idling as he 
               sprints inside. Moments later he sprints back to his car, 
               this time carrying SOMETHING.

               OMIT

               INT. FAST FOOD PLACE - DAY

               His bowtie undone, Miles sits at a booth eating. He washes 
               down a bite by draining the contents of a big wax-coated 
               soft drink cup.

               He brings the cup to his lap and refills it from a BOTTLE OF 
               WINE hidden next to him. As he sets the bottle back down, we 
               glimpse the label: 1961 Cheval Blanc.

               He takes another sip. As the camera MOVES CLOSER, all the 
               complex emotions inspired by the wine ripple across Miles's 
               face.

                                     14-YEAR-OLD BOY (O.S.)
                         "The marrow of his bone," I repeated 
                         aimlessly. This at least penetrated 
                         my mind. Phineas had died from the 
                         marrow of his bone flowing down his 
                         blood stream to his heart.

               INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

               The voice belongs to one of Miles's PUPILS reading aloud in 
               class. Other students follow along silently from their own 
               copies of A Separate Peace.

               SUPERIMPOSED --

                                     FIVE WEEKS LATER

               Miles sits behind his desk at the front of the class.

                                     14-YEAR-OLD BOY
                         I did not cry then or ever about 
                         Finny. I did not cry even when I 
                         stood watching him being lowered 
                         into his family's straight-laced 
                         burial ground outside of Boston. I 
                         could not escape a feeling that this 
                         was my own funeral, and you do not 
                         cry in that case.

               The students look up.

                                     14-YEAR-OLD BOY
                         Do you want me to keep reading the 
                         next chapter, Mr. Raymond?

                                     MILES
                              (as though coming to)
                         Hrnrnrn? No, we'll pick up there on 
                         Monday.

               INT. MILES'S APARTMENT - EVENING

               Miles enters his tiny apartment. He loosens his tie and puts 
               down his satchel.

               On his way to the kitchen, he presses a button on his 
               ANSWERING MACHINE. As it plays, he opens the REFRIGERATOR 
               and looks inside.

                                     ANSWERING MACHINE
                         One new message.

                                     MAYA'S VOICE
                         Hello, Miles. It's Maya.

               Miles FREEZES, not wanting to miss a single syllable.

                                     MAYA'S VOICE
                         Thanks for your letter. I would have 
                         called you sooner, but I think I've 
                         needed some time to think about 
                         everything that happened and what 
                         you wrote to me. Another reason I 
                         didn't call sooner is that I wanted 
                         to finish your book, which I finally 
                         did last night.

               Miles's heart pounds.

                                     MAYA'S VOICE
                         I think it's really lovely, Miles. 
                         You're so good with words. Who cares 
                         if it's not getting published? There 
                         are so many beautiful and painful 
                         things about it. Did you really go 
                         through all that? It must have been 
                         awfully hard. And the sister character --
                         Jesus, what a wreck. But I have to 
                         say I was really confused by the 
                         ending. Did the father finally commit 
                         suicide, or what? It's driving me 
                         crazy. And the title.

               INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

               THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD --

               We see ourselves taking the BUELLTON EXIT.

                                     MAYA'S VOICE
                         Anyway, it's turned cold and rainy 
                         here lately. But I like winter. So 
                         listen, if you ever do decide to 
                         come up here again, you should let 
                         me know. I would say stop by the 
                         Hitching Post, but to tell you the 
                         truth I'm not sure how much longer 
                         I'm going to be working there. I'm 
                         going to graduate soon so I'll 
                         probably relocate. We'll see.

               EXT. MAYA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

               Miles climbs the wooden steps and approaches Maya's back 
               door.

                                     MAYA'S VOICE
                         Anyway, like I said, I really loved 
                         your novel. Don't give up, Miles. 
                         Keep writing. You're really good. 
                         Hope you're well. Bye.

               Miles takes a breath. Finally he KNOCKS.

               FADE OUT.

                                         THE END

Sideways



Writers :   Rex Pickett  Alexander Payne  Jim Taylor
Genres :   Adventure  Comedy  Drama


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