"WHAT ABOUT BOB?"
Alvin Sargent and Laura Ziskin
OPENING CRAWL ON A BLACK SCREEN
"Medical journals report only 31 cases in history of people
swallowing their toothbrushes. The champion toothbrush
swallower was a Soviet psychiatric patient who downed 16 in
1984. The all-time champion swallower of any object swallowed
2533 objects in 1927."
ECU: A TOOTHBRUSH - CREDITS ROLLING
We HEAR a man clearing his throat. He enters and a shiny
glob of toothpaste is squeezed onto the bristles.
INT. BOB WILEY'S BATHROOM, MORNING
BOB WILEY, thirties, anxious, begins brushing his teeth.
Suddenly, in trying to brush a back molar, Bob looses control
of the toothbrush and swallows half of it whole. Choking,
gasping, he tries to pull the toothbrush out.
EXT. BOB WILEY'S APARTMENT BUILDING, SAME
PAN and TILT up from a woman walking her dog on the streets
of Manhattan to a third floor apartment window. There is Bob
struggling frantically with the toothbrush.
INT. BOB WILEY'S BATHROOM, MORNING
Bob is losing the battle, and in three excruciating swallows,
like a mouse going down the throat of a snake, the toothbrush
disappears down his throat. Bob pounds his chest, swallowing
as he does. Then, delicately, he belches. He takes a deep
breath, relaxes somewhat, and opens the medicine cabinet.
There sit ten packaged toothbrushes. Bob opens one.
AS WE... END CREDITS...
EXT. A PARKING LOT, LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, NEW HAMPSHIRE, DAY.
Pricey BMW's, MERCEDES, etc. sport license plates which read:
FREUD JUNGNRICH HEADDOC PERCA' DAN' etc. Three pre-teens
ride by on bikes and shove the trunks of the cars. Car alarms
sound off like birds. We PAN WITH THE KIDS then PAST THEM
out to sea to see:
EXT. THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE, ABOARD A CRIS CRAFT, SAME
Four psychiatrists and three spouses are pleasure boating.
Here all is quiet except the wind and the sound of the birds
(or is it the car alarms?). Shrinks and their wives sit around
an intense doctor in his forties.
DOCTOR 1 (FEINBERG)
I've had the same nightmare three
Come on, David, we're on a vacation.
I'm leaving my office for summer
vacation, when suddenly my patients
rush up looking insane.
EXT. A PARK AVENUE OFFICE BUILDING, DAY. DREAM-LIKE SLOW
Dr. Feinberg exits the building with his suitcase. To his
horror an angry horde of men and women, looking like a
sadistic lynch mob, swarm him and attack.
"Don't leave us!" they scream. Then
they beat me and bite me and kill
As Feinberg runs to get away he is dragged down then overrun
by his angry patients.
BACK TO THE BOATS
It's the worst nightmare I've had
since residency. Night after night...
At least your nightmare is only a
dream. What about what happened to
A YOUNG DOCTOR
Who's Leo Marvin?
You never heard of the famous Dr.
ANGLE ON A VACANT LOT ON SHORE
There is a dock, an overgrown slab, and a chimney.
That used to be his vacation house.
There's nothing there.
BACK TO THE BOAT
Grab a strong drink and some
Dramamine. I'll tell you a story
that will send you into Rorschach.
Who's Leo Marvin?
Well, I really can't tell you about
Leo Marvin unless I first tell you
EXT. THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN, UPPER WEST SIDE, DAY
The SOUND of BIRDS segues to car alarms. We're on the streets
of New York, CRANING and ZOOMING like a bird up and into a
INT. BOB WILEY'S APARTMENT, SAME
Bob Wiley sits on his bed in boxer shorts. On his night stand
are cardboard plaques: one lists the warning signs of
diabetes, another lists cancer's seven warning signals.
Stacked by the bed are psychology books and a few bottles of
prescription pills. In front of Bob is a vaporizer. Bob holds
his cheeks and twists them in small circles in front of the
(a mantra-like chant)
I feel good. I feel great. I feel
wonderful! I feel good. I feel great.
I feel wonderful! I --
A WIFE (V.O.)
But who's Leo Marvin? I know I've
heard the name.
DOCTOR 4 (V.O.)
Was he the guy who specialized in
If you must.
INT. A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE, DAY
The striking thing about DR. LEO MARVIN's office is order
and neatness. As Marvin talks on the phone, he unconsciously
adjusts the already meticulously placed gewgaws on his desk.
Marvin is mid-forties, authoritative, stiff, perfectly
manicured. Adorning the office are diplomas, personal
mementos, primitive masks, Mondrian-like paintings, his framed
medical school grades, a bust of Freud, and diplomas. On his
desk is a book titled Baby Steps TM with Marvin's picture on
Of course I want to publicize the
book, Hugo and it's a wonderful
opportunity, but its my vacation.
The Today Show went to Dr. Ruth's
vacation house, why can't CBS Morning
come to Lake Winnipesaukee?... Would
you work on it?... Thank you Hugo. I
Dr. Marvin, there's a Dr. Carswell
Fensterwald calling. He says you
went to school together.
(wracking his memory)
Fensterwald. Carswell Fensterwald.
It sounds familiar but... They sure
come out of the woodwork when you
get famous, Clair. Put him through.
(ON SPEAKER PHONE)
(INTO SPEAKER PHONE)
INT. ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE, SAME
Carswell Fensterwald looks unstable. As he talks on his phone,
he is boxing up his office. Prominent on his desk is a copy
of Marvin's book. The conversation INTERCUTS.
Long time no see, huh? You have a
big book out. Things are clicking,
That's the way I planned it.
Listen, Leo, I'm closing my practice.
Most of my patients are on the West
Side but I have one case I'd like to
Carswell, thanks but --
I know, you're incredibly busy.
Swamped. I've raised my rate. I might
even cut my sessions to forty
Leo, I know you don't like flattery
but if anybody I know is going to
win a Nobel Prize, it's you. You
gotta be thinking about your next
book so I know you'll find this case
What sort of case is it, Carswell?
Marvin paces. He adjusts a diploma down, then up, then down.
Actually, Leo, I don't know.
Carswell, if this is a dysfunctional --
No no, nothing like that. He keeps
his appointments. Pays on time. See
him once. If he's not the most complex
and -- persistent -- case you've
ever seen, drop him. His name's Bob
Wiley. He needs someone brilliant.
Okay. I'll work him in for an
interview. Say, Carswell, how come
you're quitting the business?
We're a dying breed, Leo. Good luck.
Fensterwald hangs up. He lets out a silent jubilant howl of
I feel good. I feel great. I feel
ANGLE IN MARVIN'S OFFICE
Marvin slowly hangs up his speaker phone.
Again he racks his brains. He presses his intercom.
Claire, if I get a call from a Bob
Wiley, schedule him for a short
interview after vacation.
He's already called, Dr. Marvin.
Twice. He's coming in this afternoon.
That's one kind of persistence.
Marvin gives up. He picks up a copy of his book. He compares
his jacket photo with his reflection in the handle of his
EXT. ABOARD THE CRIS CRAFT BOAT, DAY
The shrinks are still listening to Doctor 3.
Leo Marvin. Now I remember. An
Had that stupid best seller, what
was the name of it?
Watching grass grow was more exciting
than Leo Marvin.
All that changed.
DOCTOR 2 (V.O.)
That's what I'm trying to tell you
INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, DAY
Bob is sitting by the steam repeating his mantra.
I feel good. I feel great. I feel
wonderful! I feel good, I feel great!
I feel --
Bob picks up the phone and frantically pushes buttons.
Hello, Claire, Bob again. Are you
sure Dr. Marvin doesn't have an
earlier cancellation?... Sorry. See
you at two, sharp.
Bob hangs up, finds a blood pressure gauge and takes his
blood pressure. That done, he stands, paces, then stops and
sprinkles food into a gold fish bowl.
GIL the GOLDFISH nibbles the food. Bob sits on his bed, takes
a deep breath, then dials the phone. As he waits for an
answer, he flips through his "organizer" which is crammed
with notes and papers.
This is Bob Wiley calling...
(checks in his notebook)
Mrs. Patricia Lions please.
Bob waits a beat, still looking through the notebook.
Mrs. Lions, I'm Bob Wiley. I represent
the Manhattan Dental Hygiene
Association. I can offer you a forty
percent discount on our toothpicks
plus a very attractive selection of
toothpick holders if...
Mr. Wiley --
Bob, this is an elementary school.
(checks his notebook)
I thought you were Overton Cafeteria?
No, we're a school and we don't need
I don't know. A young tooth is a
terrible thing to waste. I should
know. When I was that age nobody
gave a hoot about my teeth and now
they're terrible! Have you checked
out flavored floss?
All you have to do is dream pink
gums, Patsy, and we can make them
happen. Give me your address and
I'll send you our flossing catalogue.
As Bob begins to write on his notebook, he flashes a "V" for
victory at Gil.
INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, LATER
Bob is now dressed to go out. A clock reads 1:45pm. Bob is
pacing at the door. He stops, glances at the clock, faces
the door, opens it, closes it. He paces, opens the door,
takes some deep breaths, twists his cheeks, then like a man
jumping into cold water, bolts out.
INT. THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE BOB'S APARTMENT, SAME
Bob exits his apartment, uses a Kleenex to close the door,
then heads down the stairs.
EXT. THE DOORWAY TO BOB'S APARTMENT BUILDING, DAY
Sweat pouring off his brow, Bob stands in sunglasses in the
entrance-way to his apartment. A bus squeals up to the curb,
belches smoke, then moves on. A garbage can is kicked over.
Bob starts to take a step when suddenly he gets dizzy. He
steps back and hyperventilates. Bob puts on a dust mask,
steps bravely onto the sidewalk, and walks, eyes fixed
I feel good, I feel great, I feel
A man passes Bob, eyes fixed forward.
Son of a bitch, dirty bastard, I'll
EXT. THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN, DAY. LONG SHOT
Bob walks through the city like a zombie, eyes fixed forward.
INT. AN OFFICE BUILDING LOBBY, MANHATTAN, SAME
Passers-by shuffle to and fro. Bob, still in sunglasses and
dust mask, enters. He walks in a straight line to the building
directory. He finds:
"Dr. Leo Marvin, A Psychiatric Corporation, suite 4616."
This startles Bob but he recovers.
I'm going to see Dr. Leo Marvin.
Second elevator. 46th floor.
ANGLE ON THE ELEVATORS
Bob removes a Kleenex from a pack in his pocket, uses it to
push the elevator button, then paces nervously. The elevator
arrives and the door opens. The elevator is filling up with
passengers. Bob doesn't move.
INT. A STEEL AND CONCRETE STAIRWELL, SAME
We see a descending steel staircase and stairwell door marked
"Floor 40". We hear footsteps -- rhythmic and determined --
getting closer and closer.
I feel good, I feel great, I feel
(repeats over and
INT. DR. MARVIN'S RECEPTION ROOM, DAY
Clair sits behind her desk reading a book. Bob enters, red-
faced and out of breath, taking his pulse.
Hi... I'm... Bob...
INT. DR. MARVIN'S OFFICE, DAY
Dr. Marvin is at his desk. Claire shows in Bob.
Dr. Marvin. Bob Wiley. Thank you for
working me in.
Claire exits. Bob looks around then notices a framed photo
on Marvin's shelf. Using his Kleenex, Bob picks it up. He
Wait, let me guess. I'm good at this.
Harriet, Kenny, Gretchen, Rita. Wait
wait, I know I'm close. Susan, Steven,
Andrea, Rita. Wait --
My wife, Fay. My son, Sigmund. My
daughter, Anna. My sister, Lily.
Lily... I was close! What a wonderful
Bob puts the photo back on the shelf. Marvin adjusts it.
Do I call you Dr. Marvin or Leo?
Whichever you prefer. Have a seat.
Call me Bob.
Bob stares at the chair. There is a box of Kleenexes on the
arm. Bob reaches in his pocket, takes out a Kleenex, and
uses it to move the box of Kleenexes to the table. He then
sits. Marvin walks to Bob and holds out a trash can. Bob
drops in the used Kleenex.
Marvin puts the trash can next to Bob's chair then sits. He
stares at Bob. He's waiting.
I guess I'm on, huh?
Well, the simplest way to put it is,
I have problems. I worry er, about
diseases. I have trouble with
toothbrushes. And I, er, I have
Talk about moving.
As long as I'm in my apartment, I'm
okay. I have a phone job -- selling
dental supplies -- and that's fine.
But when I have to go out, I get...,
Talk about weird.
I get dizzy spells. Nausea. Cold
sweats. Hot sweats. Fever blisters.
Difficulty swallowing. Difficulty
breathing. Blurred vision. Involuntary
trembling. Dead hands. Weak ankles.
Twitching. Fainting spells. Numb
Do you think that's normal?
Suddenly Bob removes an air sickness bag from his pocket. He
opens it and pauses a long time as though he were about to
vomit into it. He doesn't. He puts the air sickness bag away.
Marvin leans in. Bob does too.
You do go out, you know.
You came here.
What are you afraid of?
Well. What if I break my neck and
become paraplegic? What if my heart
stops beating, or I can't find a
bathroom and my bladder explodes?
You ever heard of Tourette's Syndrome.
You know, where you involuntarily
That's exceptionally rare.
I have a neighbor who got it. Yells
"oh shit!" in church. "Douche bag!"
at customers at his job. Pretty funny,
actually, unless you're the one with
the disease. Then it's sad.
OH SHIT EATING SON OF A BITCH! Just
TWAT LOVING DOUCHE BAG!
Why are you doing this?
Sometimes, if I fake it, I know I
don't have it. Like, when I think my
heart is gonna stop. I fake it so I
know it's not happening.
Bob fakes a heart seizure -- very convincingly -- and falls
to the floor. After a moment, he sits back in the chair as
if nothing had happened.
If I can't make it happen, I know
it's not happening. I know it's all
in my mind.
Marvin stands and walks towards Bob.
Get away from me with that knife!
Marvin uprights the trashcan and walks back to his seat.
Are you married?
Want to talk about it?
The world is divided into two types
of people: those who like Neil Diamond
and those who don't. My ex-wife loves
Dr. Marvin, do you think you can
There is a pause. Marvin leans in.
There's a saying, Bob, that the best
psychiatrist in the world is right
inside of you. I can help you,
provided you're willing to help
Are you kidding, I'll do anything!
Marvin stands and moves to the bookcase behind him.
There's a ground breaking book that
just came out, Bob. Not everything
in it applies to you but when you
see the title, I think you'll see
that it can help.
There are twenty copies of Marvin's book on the shelf behind
Marvin. Marvin holds one up. Bob sees the cover. We see the
picture of Marvin on the back.
It means setting small, reasonable
goals for yourself. One day at a
time, one tiny step at a time -- do-
able, accomplishable goals.
When you leave this office, don't
think about everything you have to
do to get out of the building, just
deal with getting out of the room.
When you reach the hall, just deal
with the hall. And so forth. Baby
Bob looks at Marvin then stands.
Baby step... through the office.
Bob takes small deliberate steps to the door. He opens it
and steps into the reception area.
Baby step... out the door.
The door to the office closes. There is a long pause. Bob
opens the door and pops back in.
All I have to do is take one small
step at a time and I can do anything!
Exactly. But don't expect everything
all at once. Even a baby occasionally
falls and hits his head.
Bob walks around the room as though he were inhabiting each
small space with his body.
Baby step around the office. Baby
step around the office!
(to Marvin's family
Fay, Sigmund, Anna, Lily: Hi fam!
He's a genius!
Marvin hands Bob the book.
This will give you plenty to digest
while I'm on vacation.
Certainly my secretary told you. As
of this afternoon, I'm on vacation
with my family until Labor Day.
That's a whole month! What if I need
you? What if I need to talk?
Dr. Harmon, my associate will be
happy to talk.
He hands Bob Harmon's card.
We have years ahead of us, Bob. A
month will seem like a baby second.
Marvin shows Bob the door. Bob, doing his baby steps, looks
lost and confused.
Can I call you in the Hamptons if I
Dr. Harmon is quite skilled.
Bob shuffles to the door.
I hear Maine is great this time of
Marvin turns over his book and shows Bob his picture.
I'll be with you the whole month.
Try your baby steps.
Let's see... Baby step through the
office. Baby step out the door.
That's perfect. Keep going...
Baby steps to the hall. Baby...
Marvin closes the door and starts back to his desk.
Momentarily, Bob sticks his head back in.
It's the Catskills, isn't it?
Sorry. Baby steps. Baby steps...
Bob exits, closing the door. Marvin starts to pick up Bob's
trash can when Bob sticks his head in again.
You flying or driving?
I'll be back.
Bob looks at Marvin then starts out.
Baby steps, he'll be back. Baby steps,
he'll be back...
Bob closes the door behind him. From his desk Marvin takes a
plastic trash bag and dumps the contents of Bob's trash can
into it. He picks up a small tape recorder and presses
July 31, Bob Wiley, introductory
interview. Multi-phobic personality
characterized by an extreme need for
family connections. Bill $150 for
the session and $29.95 for the book.
He clicks the tape recorder off. There is a knock on the
Claire puts her head in.
It's your publicist. He says CBS
will come to Winnipesaukee.
Marvin strides triumphantly to the phone and lifts it up.
I knew they'd come to me! Hugo, not
to change the subject but has a
psychiatrist ever won the Nobel Prize?
INT. THE HALLWAY OF MARVIN'S OFFICE BUILDING, SAME
Bob paces in front of the elevators, reading the book.
Baby step to the elevator. Baby step
to the elevator.
The elevator, full of passengers, opens. Bob, steps in.
Baby step to the elevator. Baby step
to the elevator.
The elevator doors close and it starts down. Bob screams.
EXT. THE NEW YORK MARINE AIR TERMINAL, DAY
Marvin and family (who we recognize from the pictures in
Marvin's office) exit a cab with their luggage and head into
Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry hurry hurry.
Hurry hurry hurry.
They pass a HOMELESS MAN with a hand out. Marvin's wife FAY
stops and roots in her purse.
Honey there isn't time.
Fay gives the man some money then enters the terminal.
You're only encouraging them, Fay.
INT. THE MARINE AIR TERMINAL, SAME
The Marvin family hurries through the terminal.
Hurry hurry hurry. Hurry hurry
Marvin's 16 year old daughter ANNA and 12 year old son SIGMUND
rush with them.
Daddy, would you cut it out?
The family finds their gate and gets in line to board. There
are ten people ahead of them and the plane isn't boarding
yet. All haste stops as they drop their luggage to the floor.
Honey, I told you there was no rush.
A nice looking BOY gets in line behind them and checks out
Anna. She sees him and flips her hair. Siggy, dressed in all
black, plays a video game on his watch. It beeps and blurps.
FAY lovingly plucks a piece of lint off Marvin's jacket.
Siggy looks up and plucks off another piece of lint. Marvin
takes out an electronic organizer. He pushes buttons and it
Okay, how does this sound? Tomorrow:
we'll go shopping and clean up the
Ooo, sounds great.
Wednesday we'll re-arrange the
furniture and spruce up the lawn.
More, I gotta have more.
Marvin clears his throat and smiles.
FAY, ANNA, SIGGY
The interview with Maria Shriver.
(swelling with pride)
I'm having some art brought up from
the city. The cottage should look
Fay kisses Marvin on the cheek.
I'm sure whatever you do will look
Marvin beams then goes back to his organizer.
After the interview we'll take a
celebration sail around lake, then
Friday -- my birthday -- we'll have
wonderful meal at Digby's.
Fay straightens Siggy's shirt tail. Momentarily, Siggy's
watch lets out a staccato series of beeps.
Siggy, are you going to spend all
summer driving us crazy with that?
It's not driving me crazy.
Siggy continues his game. Fay touches Marvin on the hand to
say, let it pass. Anna continues to flirt with the boy in
line. Marvin pushes a couple of buttons on his organizer and
it lets out three rapid beeps. Siggy smiles triumphantly at
You gonna do that all summer?
Marvin ignores this and puts the organizer away.
Yeah, dad, huh?
Anna you're masking hostility.
Marvin reaches in his briefcase and removes two HAND PUPPETS.
One has the silk screened face of Anna, the other of Leo.
Anna sees this and is incredibly embarrassed.
Daddy, put those away!
The line moves. Anna hurries into the ramp way.
Anna. Examine your behavior.
Marvin and the family disappear into the ramp way.
AIRPORT LOUDSPEAKER (V.O.)
Dr. Leo Marvin, pick up the white
courtesy phone. Dr. Leo Marvin, please
answer the white courtesy phone.
INT. A PHONE BOOTH, NEW YORK, DAY, CLOSE ON
A long list of airline phone numbers with all but the last
one crossed out. PULL BACK TO FIND:
BOB standing at a pay phone, receiver to his ear. He has
Kleenexes protecting his hand, his ear and his mouth. Outside
the window is a hot dog stand. The vendor is serving up juicy
hot dogs and Bob watches longingly.
I'm sorry, Bob. No one's answering
Thanks for trying.
Bob hangs up and crumples the list.
EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE THE PHONE BOOTH, SAME
Still looking at the hot dogs, Bob shuffles out of the phone
booth. He tosses his crumpled list at a trash can and misses.
Even though there is litter on the street all around the
trash can, Bob (using a Kleenex) picks up his list and puts
it in the trash. He walks to the hot dog stand and watches.
He wants a hot dog.
Can I help you, bub?
Would you like a hot dog, Bob?
I sure would...
The vendor buns a hot dog.
I sure would.
I'd love it.
The vendor holds out the dog.
But I can't. I really want to but I
can't. It's bird intestine and beef
Bob looks at the dog with a mixture of desire and revulsion.
He pulls out an air sickness bag, holds it ready, then puts
it back. The vendor retracts the dog.
Hit the road, bub.
Bob moves on.
INT. A SUNNY NEW YORK FLAT, DAY
Bob, out of breath, knocks on the door. HELENE WILEY, a late
middle aged woman draped in diaphanous scarves, opens the
door. She carries a palette knife and palette of paint.
Bob, you didn't walk up again?
I found this great psychiatrist who
Helene turns and walks away. Bob follows her in. The next
scene is played with Helene walking away and Bob following.
They move through her apartment, dotted with finished and
half-finished paintings on big canvases.
Did you come here for money?
Mom, that's a terrible thing to ask.
How do you like my latest?
She stops in front of a BIG CANVAS covered with knives,
spoons, forks, paint, and twenty dollar bills. Bob touches
one of the twenties. It comes off in his hand.
It's lovely mom.
Helene takes the twenty and puts it back.
Mom, I'm sorry! All I wanted to do
was talk. I'll go.
She reaches out and embraces him.
Oh my poor baby. How did you get so
You're the only thing I care about.
Always will be.
They stand there hugging for a moment.
I'm here for you, Bob. Anytime.
I love you, mom.
She looks at him and lovingly straightens his hair.
Go home, sweetie. I need to work.
EXT. A STREET CORNER NEAR THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM, SAME
Bob stands on the corner looking like a lost soul. He watches
as the world passes by. The light changes. Looking both ways
constantly, Bob crosses.
Baby step across the street. Baby
step across the street...
A "perfect little family" walks past him. A five year old
girl and a three year old boy skip by, hand in hand. They
wave at Bob. He waves back, sadly, then continues.
I feel good, I feel great, I feel
INT. A BABY DECORATED APARTMENT, DAY
"Crackling Rose" by Neil Diamond plays on the stereo. BECKY,
a perky woman, pregnant, about Bob's age, answers the door.
Bob stands in the hallway. She's a little surprised.
Whoa!... You're really getting big.
Bob gently puts his hand on Becky's belly.
What a bruiser. Hi little Bobby!
Bob, he's not little Bobby. Feel the
Bob puts his ear to Becky's belly and listens. Suddenly, he
hugs Becky's tummy.
Oh, Becky, let's get married again.
Bob. You know I'm married to some
one else now.
But I want a baby. A family! I want
to burp him and change him and...
(pause -- lets go)
Why couldn't it have been with me?
Bob, honey, we've been over this.
You as a father? Think about it.
Bob sinks. Becky looks at him sympathetically. There is still
a warm spot in her heart for him.
You know I actually have considered
naming him "Bob".
Yeah. But it's still going to be
Diamond on the stereo)
INT. BOB'S APARTMENT, LATE AFTERNOON
Bob sits alone watching Ozzie and Harriet. Ozzie is talking
to Ricky, David, and Harriet.
We're a family. We'll always be a
family. I don't care what they say
about you at school, we've got each
other and don't you ever forget it.
The family hugs. The TV audience applauds. Bob picks up the
phone and dials. SPLIT SCREEN with MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE a
one room, two operator answering service.
This is Bob Wiley. I'm a patient of
Dr. Marvin's. I need to talk to him.
I'm sorry Mr. Wiley --
-- Bob, but Dr. Marvin is out of
town and Dr. Harmon is taking his
I don't want Harmon, I need Marvin!
Bob paces then assumes a false calm.
Look, there seems to be some
confusion. You see, Dr. Marvin, uh,
Leo, wanted me to call him but I
lost his number.
Bob. I can't give out that number.
But you could call him and ask him
to call me.
It's awfully late.
Bob is silent. Bessie is uncertain.
Stay on the line, Bob. What's your
number in case we get disconnected?
EXT. MARVIN'S VACATION HOUSE PORCH, LATE AFTERNOON
We recognize this as the same lake the doctors were sailing
in the opening scene: gorgeous greenery, the shore lined
with quaint but expensive summer homes. Where the doctors in
the boat saw an empty slab, stands the Marvin summer house,
a clapboard structure complete with a private dock, old wooden
motorized rowboat, and diving board.
Marvin is relaxing in a chair. Fay is in the background
putting out flowers. Marvin takes a deep breath, sighs
peacefully then picks up a book: Freud's Understanding Dreams
and opens it. The phone rings. Marvin frowns, then answers.
TRIPLE SCREEN WITH BESSIE AND BOB AND MARVIN
Dr. Marvin, this is Bessie at your
exchange. I'm sorry to disturb you
but I have a Bob Wiley on the line
who says you'll want to talk to him.
You know better than this, Bessie.
Dr. Harmon is covering for me.
I told him that, Doctor, but he
insists on talking to you. He says
it's an emergency.
Marvin frowns then takes a deep breath.
Put him through.
Go ahead, Bob.
BACK TO DOUBLE SPLIT-SCREEN
Bob's frantic pacing contrasts with Marvin's calm.
Bob, I thought I made it clear to
you that I'm on vacation.
I know, but I'm a mess. Worse than
Bob, if this is an emergency, go to
the emergency room. If not, call Dr.
Harmon and I'm sure he can help you.
I'd feel better if I just knew where
you were. It's Martha's Vineyard
Couldn't we just talk?
In my office, after Labor Day.
Good night, Bob.
Marvin hangs up. SINGLE SCREEN. Bob hangs up too. He stands
and thinks then dials again. SPLIT SCREEN WITH MID-MANHATTAN
Hi, this is Bob. Leo and I got cut
I'm sorry, Bob, but Dr. Marvin just
called and instructed me not to put
Bob stands thinking.
INT. A MANHATTAN PAY PHONE BOOTH, NIGHT
A mid-twenties PROSTITUTE, overly made up, is on the phone.
SPLIT SCREEN again with MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE.
Hello, this is Lily Marvin, Dr. Leo
Marvin's sister. I have to talk to
my brother right away.
I'm not allowed to give out that
number. Don't you have it?
A PULL BACK REVEALS BOB standing beside the prostitute,
wearing his face mask, waiting anxiously. Bob whispers in
the prostitute's ear. She nods.
He went on vacation and forgot to
give it to me. Look, honey, it's
urgent. I'm at: 790-8864.
She reads the number off the pay phone. Bessie reacts to the
fact that it's a different number from Bob's. She shakes her
head and sighs.
Stay on the line, Miss Marvin.
The prostitute hands the phone to Bob. He sprays the phone
with disinfectant then hands her some money.
Thanks. You were fantastic.
The prostitute shakes her head and walks away.
INT. MARVIN'S VACATION HOUSE DINING ROOM, NIGHT
The moonlit lake is in the far background. In the near
background the Marvin family sits eating dinner. Marvin
holding the telephone, looking concerned, walks off by
Lily? What's wrong?
SPLIT SCREEN WITH Bob, standing at his pay phone. He cringes.
Dr. Marvin, please don't be angry.
It's Bob. I know I shouldn't call
this way but --
Bob, listen to me. The doctor-patient
relationship is based on trust. When
you call me against my wishes or
pretend to be my sister, I can't
trust you any more.
I know but--
Call Dr. Harmon, or go to the
emergency room, but don't call me
Marvin hangs up. BACK TO SINGLE SCREEN. Bob stands in the
phone booth, banging his hand on his head.
Oh that wasn't smart! Oh that wasn't
He walks out of the booth shaking his head. He exits screen
left. Momentarily he crosses back through screen, muttering
INT. THE MID-MANHATTAN EXCHANGE, NIGHT
Bessie sits at her switchboard, reading a regency romance.
The operator, GWEN, is doing her nails. There is a knock on
the door. The operators look at each other, go to the door,
but don't open it.
(INTO THE DOOR)
Who is it?
VOICE ON PHONE
Detective Roberts. Homicide.
What do you want?
I have some questions about a Bob
That was that sicko who kept calling
What about him?
She opens the door. Detective Roberts is Bob.
BOB AS DETECTIVE ROBERTS
Oh my god. What happened?
Suicide. We think. Forty stories.
Free fall. Splat.
The operators gasp.
Now our records show that Bob made
several calls to this number just
before he died. Did either of you
know Bob personally?
Bob called here trying to reach his
That's interesting. What happened?
I put him through once. After that,
Dr. Marvin didn't want to talk to
Wait a minute. Dr. Marvin couldn't
have had anything to do with Bob's
Oh? Why not?
Dr. Marvin's on vacation.
Out of state. Lake Winnipesaukee.
We're not supposed to give out the
number but I can call him and...
That's okay. I'm sure we can find
him if we need him.
Bob writes down the information as he walks to the door.
God, I feel terrible. What if I was
the last person he talked to before
I frankly wouldn't let it bother me.
This guy had "sky diver" written all
over him if you know what I mean.
Bob closes the door behind him.
EXT. THE ANSWERING SERVICE HALLWAY, SAME
Bob almost throws up then puts the air sickness bag away
again. He takes a deep breath, smiles to himself, then exits.
INT. MARVIN'S SUMMER HOUSE BEDROOM, NIGHT
Marvin and Fay are asleep in bed. The phone rings. Fay turns
on the light.
That'd better not be who I think it
Marvin answers the phone. Fay listens.
MARVIN (INTO PHONE)
Hello... What?... That's okay. Thanks
for calling, Bessie.
Marvin hangs up. He sits, stunned.
That was my service. That patient --
the one who called earlier --
Oh Leo, how horrible.
Fay rubs Marvin's neck. There is a long pause.
Oh well. Let's not let it ruin our
Marvin turns out the light and lies down.
INT. A BUS STATION, MORNING
Bob wears bermuda shorts and baseball cap. In one hand, like
a security blanket, he clutches a paper bag spilling over
with clothes, bottles of pills, and Baby Steps. In the other
hand he clutches a baggie holding Gil. Eyes fixed ahead, Bob
A BUS looming large like a growling grumbling snorting
BUS EMPLOYEE APPROACHES
This is the last bus to Winnipesaukee,
How many tunnels does it pass through
again? How many bridges?
If you keep your eyes closed, you
won't see any of them. You ready?
Baby steps, board the bus. Baby steps,
board the bus.
Bob looks at the bus again. He tips his bottle of pills and
swallows. He takes a small baby step towards the bus.
You think you could do it today,
Bob. We have a baby schedule to keep.
Baby step, board today. Baby step,
Bob inches into the bus.
INT. THE BUS, SAME
A bus driver sits ready to go. Bob walks like a cripple down
the aisle to an empty seat.
Baby step, down the aisle. Baby step,
down the aisle.
The passengers, a scurvy bunch, wait impatiently. Bob finally
takes a seat next to an old man and smiles nervously.
Hi. I'm Bob.
The old man scowls and looks forward. The bus driver closes
the door and the bus moves forward with a jolt.
(turns to the old man)
Would you knock me out, please?! Hit
me in the face, whatever you have to
do, just knock me out!
The old man moves away. Bob downs more pills.
INT. THE HOLLAND TUNNEL, DAY
The bus speeds through. We HEAR a long, loud SCREAM.
EXT. THE MARVIN PORCH, DAY
Marvin lies down in the hammock and picks up his book. Fay
Honey, let's go to the store.
EXT. THE OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, DAY
The Greyhound bus stops. Bob gets out and runs into a field.
He apparently vomits, then runs back to the bus.
INT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE GENERAL STORE, DAY
The Marvin family strolls through this old fashioned General
Store, loading food and supplies into a shopping cart. They're
all in shorts and looking resorty except for Siggy who is in
his usual all-black garb. Through the windows, outside, we
can see the quaint little town of Winnipesaukee.
Hugo said to expect eleven. Are you
sure we have enough?
We could feed the entire network,
Anna joins them and tosses in some cookies.
By the way, did you call Ted Fein?
Why? He's a salami with eyes.
I thought he was cute.
How would you know a boy is cute?
Are you coming out of the closet?
Anna. Be nice.
(she fixes Anna's
She's just testing us, Fay. But don't
get psycho-sexual with me young lady.
Me? When you want me to call some
guy cause his father's your publicist?
Yeah, dad. Don't be a psychosexual
Siggy, don't talk that way to your
They're both testing us, Fay. Don't
buy into it.
Yeah, mom. It's not meant for you,
it's meant for dad.
(at his father)
Testing. 1, 2, 3. Testing.
EXT. THE BUS STOP ACROSS FROM THE GENERAL STORE, DAY
A GREYHOUND BUS pulls to the bus stop. Passengers hurry off,
anxiously glancing behind them. Finally Bob, covered in sweat,
exits. Holding his bag and fish, squinting to adjust to the
sun, he stands in a daze as the bus pulls away. After a long
pause, Bob calls out.
Dr. Marvin! Dr. Leo Marvin!
Bob waits. Passers-by turn and stare. There is no Leo Marvin
Dr. Marvin! Dr. Leo Marvin!
EXT. THE GENERAL STORE, SAME
The Marvin family exits carrying groceries. They stop at the
family station wagon and begin loading up.
Dr. Leo Marvin. Dr. Leo Marvin.
Leo, is somebody calling you?
I didn't hear anything.
Leo Marvin. Dr. Leo Marvin!
Everyone looks around.
Marvin turns and sees Bob.
Oh my god... I don't believe it.
AT THE BUS STOP
Bob looks in all directions. Suddenly he sees Marvin.
Dr. Marvin. It's you!!
Bob walks toward the Marvins.
stands dumfounded. He watches Bob walking towards them. He
tries to stay calm.
Everybody get in the car.
Do you know that man, Leo?
Dr. Marvin! It's me, Bob!
Get in the car.
Fay is surprised to see Leo so forceful. She hustles the
kids into the station wagon. Bob hurries up, out of breath.
In one hand he holds his bag. In the other he holds Gil in a
baggie. Marvin closes the station wagon door and stands
Hi! This is Gil. It must be fate
that I found you so quickly!
Bob stops and stands, a little out of breath.
Is this a bad time?
What are you doing here? I thought
you were..., dead.
Oh no, they told you? I fibbed a
little but... Don't be mad.
(spotting the family
in the car)
A sweet beatific smile appears on Bob's face. He sighs.
Marvin leads Bob away from the car, across the street.
EXT. ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE PARKING LOT, SAME
Marvin stops and faces Bob.
I think you know, Bob, that your
behavior is entirely inappropriate.
We talked about trust. We talked
about my needs. I want you to get on
a bus and go back to New York.
I don't get angry.
I don't get upset.
Then can't we just talk?
I don't see patients on vacation,
Bob. Ever. How many ways can I make
But you can't just send me away!
I've read your book, I've been doing
what you told me, but I've completely
relapsed! A little time would mean
so much. Please.
Bob, I'm driving away now and I don't
want you to bother me again. You
came for my advice, correct?
Then take my advice and go back to
But I can't go anywhere! I'm all
You got yourself here.
Getting back will therapeutic.
Bob starts begging.
Please just talk to me. Just a little
You're testing my patience, Bob.
A teeny tiny talk. An itty bitty
ANGLE FROM INSIDE THE CAR, WHAT THE FAMILY SEES
Bob is kneeling in front of Marvin.
Pretty please... Pretty please with
The family exchanges quizzical looks.
BACK TO BOB AND MARVIN
Marvin looks around, incredibly embarrassed. He tugs at the
Get up. Come on, get up.
Say you will. Please, say you will.
Marvin looks at his watch.
Bob, it's two o'clock. Go to the bus
station, buy a ticket home, then
wait in that restaurant.
He points to "GUTTMAN'S" coffee shop.
You'll meet me?!
I'll call you.
(looks at his watch)
In two hours.
Oh my god, you're the greatest!
Bob moves to hug Marvin and Marvin reluctantly lets him.
But you must buy your ticket and
give your word that you'll go home.
This is all about trust again, Bob.
We must have trust.
I trust. I absolutely trust. I'll go
buy my ticket. Right now!
I'll call you at four.
You couldn't possibly make it three
thirty, could you?
Four it is. Four o'clock exactly.
Thank you, Dr. M.
Bob starts across the parking lot as Marvin gets in the car
and closes the door.
INT. THE MARVIN FAMILY STATION WAGON, SAME
As the car pulls out of the parking lot, Marvin's family
turns to look at Bob. Bob smiles and waves at the family.
Leo, you look disturbed.
Who was that poor man?
Anna is looking out the back window at Bob. She waves.
Marvin hits the accelerator, leaving rubber.
INT. GUTTMAN'S COFFEE SHOP, LATER
An ELDERLY COUPLE tend to the counters and glasses. Bob paces
by the phone, reading Baby Steps to himself. The clock on
the wall reads three o'clock.
Baby step to four o'clock. Baby step
to four o'clock.
Bob covers his eyes then looks at the clock. No luck.
Frustrated, Bob paces again.
I feel good, I feel great, I feel
Again he looks at the clock: three-o-one. The elderly couple
watch. They speak with thick European accents.
ELDERLY WOMAN (MRS. GUTTMAN)
Sonny, your fishy's losing air.
ELDERLY MAN (MR. GUTTMAN)
Bob looks at Gil. The baggie is dripping.
Bob looks for something to do about the dripping baggie. Mr.
Guttman brings a glass and dumps Gil in.
Is there something we can help you
Can you make it four o'clock? Dr.
Marvin's supposed to call me then
but I'm going crazy.
Not Dr. Leo Marvin?
Do you know him?
He bought our dream house. We worked
a lifetime, saved up for a down
payment, then he swooped down with
his fancy schmancy lawyers and grabbed
it out from under us.
Stay as far away from him as possible.
Like the plague.
No problem. I'm his patient but he
doesn't want me near him.
We'll show you where he lives.
EXT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME
Marvin and Siggy march to the end of the Marvin dock. There
is a diving board. Siggy stands in a black terry robe and
Take off your robe. Everything you
wear is black. I wish you'd get off
this death fixation.
Siggy reluctantly takes off his black robe. Under it he wears
a black t-shirt and black bathing suit.
How do you know it's a death fixation?
Maybe I'm in mourning for my lost
What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by asking?
Come on, get on the board and let's
see your approach.
(striking a pose)
My approach is to be suave and
debonair and sophisticated.
Come on, Siggy. 1, 2, 3 spring. Like
we learned last time. 1, 2, 3, spring.
Siggy reluctantly mounts the board. He stands, feet together,
then takes a step with his right foot.
1, 2, 3 spring. 1, 2, 3 summer. 1,
2, 3 fall. Time to go dad.
Cut it out, Siggy. Left foot...
This is no fun.
Siggy sighs then starts again. He awkwardly takes two steps
then stops at the end of the board, staring into the water,
afraid to dive.
Why didn't you dive?
With all the horror that's going on
in the world, what difference does
INT. MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME
The decor is New England cottage-y with a strong dose of Leo
Marvin: incredibly ordered. On a pedestal is a bust of Sigmund
Freud. On the mantle sit the family puppets: -- Anna, Siggy,
Fay, and Leo. Anna is at the family stereo, selecting a CD.
Fay is on the chordless phone at the kitchen window, giving
milk to some stray cats.
Of course I'm excited Ellie. The
last person they interviewed on
vacation was Dr Ruth.
Siggy enters and walks upstairs. Marvin enters and heads to
the living room chair. Fay hangs up.
He didn't dive.
He's a little afraid of it, dear.
It's not like I'm making him jump
out of an airplane. When I was growing
up, I thought diving was fun.
I thought you were born grown up.
Marvin stares at Anna. She puts on raucous heavy metal.
You're masking hostility, Anna Marvin.
Turn that down.
It's full of Freudian symbols, dad.
Marvin turns down the volume, sits in his big easy chair,
then takes a deep breath. He picks up Freud's Understanding
Dreams. Anna puts on headphones and dances around wildly.
Marvin tries to read. Suddenly a face appears in the window.
It is Bob. He sees Marvin and taps on the window. Marvin
looks up and sees Bob.
(he bolts to the front
What are you doing here?
Bob stands holding Gil (in the glass) and his bag.
I'm sorry. Don't be mad. The Guttmans
Bob turns and waves at the Guttmans who are walking into an
OLD TRAILER that occupies next lot.
Thank you Mr. and Mrs. G.!
Your welcome, Bobby, Hello, Dr.
The Guttmans wave. Marvin waves back.
Burn in hell, Dr. Marvin!
Marvin's hand falls. The Guttmans enter their trailer. Marvin
turns to Bob.
We agreed that I would call you.
Your coming here is unbelievably
Anna comes to the door.
Hi. I'm Anna.
I saw your picture. I'm Bob.
Fay comes to the door.
Hi. I'm Bob.
Oh, Mrs. M. You're even prettier
than your picture.
Why thank you.
(through his teeth)
Bob, I think you and I have some
things to talk about.
You do? You finally think so too?!
Would you excuse us, dear?
Bob, may I take your fish?
Bob hands Gil to Fay and she walks into the kitchen. Anna
just stands there.
Anna rolls her eyes and follows her mother.
Nice to meet you, Bob.
Marvin leads Bob away. Bob sees the puppets on the mantle.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE STUDY, SAME
Bob and Marvin enter the downstairs study. Marvin indicates
for Bob to take a seat.
Great place. No wonder the Guttmans
wanted it. I really feel bad about
barging in like this.
Forget it. I understand.
Of course I do. Your problems don't
go away just because I go on vacation.
They've been with you a long time
Ever since I can remember.
On the other hand, you're making
strides. You got here.
I baby stepped. I owe it to you.
Bob smiles. Marvin stares at Bob for a long time then:
Bob, take a look around you. What
does everything you see have in
Er... I don't know... It's all owned
by you, that's obvious. Humm...
Everything's from a garage sale!
There is a long pause. Marvin stares at Bob.
Vacation, Bob. Everything you see is
part of a vacation. Every year, for
one month, I bring my family to this
house on vacation. Nice, isn't it?
It's wonderful. The lake. The trees.
The little town.
Do you know what the point of a
vacation is? Do you understand the
meaning of the word?
You forget about your troubles. You
give up your worries. You drink from
the wellspring of relaxation that
enriches your soul.
Now I can't, at this time, give you
the kind of therapeutic attention
that you need to solve all your
problems. Know why?
Er, because you're on vacation?
Excellent. But what I can do -- and
only I can do this because you trust
me don't you Bob?
Why else would I be here?
Exactly. What I can do is this.
Marvin goes to a drawer and pulls out a prescription pad. He
Get on your bus and go back to New
York. Every time a problem comes up,
follow this prescription.
(holds up his bag)
I don't need pills. I have plenty of
Marvin tears off a prescription sheet and hands it to bob.
It's not pills. Read it.
It says: "A vacation from my
I'm giving you permission to take a
vacation, Bob. Not a vacation from
your work. Not a vacation from your
daily life. But a vacation from...
Every time you feel a problem coming
on, take that out and follow it to
the letter. Doctors orders.
I'm glad you came. I'll see you in
my office next month.
You came here for relief, Bob. Read
Bob stands a moment, looking at his prescription.
This is... INCREDIBLE! This is
ASTOUNDING!! For the first time since
Menningers I feel free! I knew coming
up here was the right thing to do!
It feels right because you're here
and because you're leaving.
Bob comes over and hugs Marvin.
You've given me a great gift, doctor.
The gift of life. You're a great
EXT.-INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DAY
Marvin opens the door for Bob.
If you have any questions, call Dr.
Have a great vacation!
A vacation from my problems. You bet
Bob exits. Marvin closes the door and looks up at the ceiling.
He takes a deep breath then turns back into the room. There
is a knock at the door.
(AT THE DOOR)
It's Bob. I forgot Gil.
Marvin opens the door.
Bob strides into the kitchen and takes his fish. Sigmund,
now in his clothes, enters from upstairs.
You must be Sigmund.
Siggy, this is Bob. He's just leaving.
Hi. This is Gil. My fish.
Cool. Did you get him out of the
No. He's a city fish.
Your father is the most incredible
psychiatrist in the world! You better
He strides to the door then turns wistfully.
Have a great vacation, fam.
You too, Bob.
Nice to meet you.
EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESAUKEE, DAY
Bob walks down the country lane. Crickets chirp.
Vacation from my problems. Take a
vacation from my problems. A baby
stepping, lazy stepping vacation
from my problems.
Bob falls into a rhythm, almost a little jig as he walks.
LONG DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, MORNING
Roosters crow in the new day.
INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, SAME
Marvin, Fay and Siggy stand frozen, like artist's models,
staring at something. Is this suddenly a Godard movie? Are
we now in a Becket play? Finally:
It's too close to the wall.
Marvin moves to the couch and pulls it out from the wall
about three inches.
I care, and you should too. Our house
is going on national television
tomorrow. You want your friends to
think you live in a dump?
My friends would respect me for it.
You know, there's nothing wrong with
neatness. People joke but it's
actually a sign of a creative
intelligence. Right, Fay?
In isolated cases, sure.
What is that supposed to mean?
The room looks wonderful, dear.
Fay pecks him on the cheek and walks into the kitchen. Siggy
follows. Ditto Anna who starts cooking pancakes.
Seriously, what do you mean by that?
He gets no answer from the rest of the family who look at
each other and smile.
You're incredibly creative, daddy.
Marvin goes back to making minuscule adjustments: adjusting
diplomas, etc. At the front door is a knock.
I'll get it. It's probably the van
with my art.
Checking out his "set" as he goes, Marvin opens the door.
Good morning! I'll bet you're
surprised to see me!
MARVIN STANDS DUMFOUNDED
When I walked out of here last night
I said to myself, "Dr. Marvin's
absolutely right. Take a vacation
from your problems. Blow em off.
Just say 'no'." So I did!
But... You're back.
No I'm not.
Of course not. I'm taking a vacation.
This isn't an appointment, I'm
dropping by. I told the Guttmans
what you said and they found me a
Yeah, the town is packed but I guess
if you know the right people...
Anyway, I know we can't work but
let's get the friendship thing going.
Marvin is absolutely flabbergasted.
I'm a little anxious about being
here by myself but I don't want to
barge in. I'll call. Give my best to
the fam and see ya around, okay?
Bob walks away. Marvin closes the door. He stands there for
a long time.
Who was that, Leo?
There is a knock on the door. Marvin opens it.
I almost forgot, here's your
newspaper. See ya.
Marvin takes the newspaper and closes the door.
Wasn't that Bob?
There is another knock on the door. It's Bob.
You guys up for going out to
Eating in. I admire that.
Marvin slams the door in Bob's face.
That was Bob! I thought you said he
I did. I said exactly that.
Anna moves to the front door, after Bob. Marvin grabs her
arm and leads her to the kitchen.
And I don't want you letting him in
Daddy, you're hurting me!
Anna wrenches her arm away.
What's your problem?
I don't have a problem.
Fay walks in.
Honey, who is that man?
Nobody, Fay. Nothing to get excited
about. A work related problem just
He strolls off into the kitchen. Anna rubs her arm.
I've never seen him like this.
If you want to know, I think your
father is nervous about going on
national television tomorrow. Freud
himself would be anxious so let's be
He should go punch some pillows.
Or get shock treatment.
Remember that he's under pressure.
MARVIN (FROM THE KITCHEN)
EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESALRKEE, DAY
Bob walks down the empty country lane. Crickets chirp.
Vacation from my problems. Take a
vacation from my problems. There's
nothing to fear, there's nobody here.
Nothing to fear
(he suddenly panics)
THERE'S NOBODY HERE!
He starts running and screaming.
EXT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, MORNING
TWO MEN from a van are bringing in the art from Marvin's
office. Marvin is using a weed trimmer to spruce up the shrubs
to within an inch or their lives. Anna, in a bathing suit,
sunglasses, and skimpy cover-up exits the house, gives her
father a good-bye peck on the cheek then gets in the family
Where are you off to?
With Teddy Fein?
No. George Stark. The boy from the
It's a quarter mile to the marina.
Why do you need the car?
I'm picking everybody up.
She starts the car and backs out.
Stay out of the sun! Remember what's
happening to the ozone layer.
EXT. A WOODED LANE IN WINNIPESAUKEE, DAY
Bob is running in a panic. Anna drives by and sees him.
Anna hits the brakes and slows next to Bob. He breaks to a
Hi! Where you going?
Just to... town.
Buy some..., Kleenex.
Want a ride?
I don't think your dad would like
you picking me up.
He wouldn't like a lot of things.
Bob hesitates then gets in.
INT. THE MARVIN STATION WAGON, SAME
Anna drives. Bob puts on his seat belt.
He seemed pretty upset this morning.
He's nervous about the interview.
Maria Shriver's coming tomorrow to
talk about his book.
Wow... so that's the problem! And I
thought he was upset about me!
Well he's always uptight, even when
it doesn't show.
Sure. Imagine growing up with a dad
who sees every stage of growing up
as a Freudian passage. Did you ever
Fat or skinny?
Er, skinny, I think.
What do you mean?
Dad saw crayons as phallic symbols.
When I asked for skinny crayons, it
was a personal assault on his manhood.
What'd he do, buy a Porsche?
I wish! He just kept psychoanalyzing
everything. My dolls were alter egos.
Boys who wanted to kiss me were
Oedipally fixated adolescents looking
to displace their mothers on their
aboriginal family totems.
Sounds like my friends to a tee.
You seem to be doing okay now.
Hardly. I analyze everything to death.
Every time a guy smiles at me, I ask
myself is he really smiling or is he
just orally fixated? When I smile
back, I wonder, am I really attracted
or just smiling out of some residual
Cro-Magnon instinct? If I ever
actually have sex, I'm not sure I'll
know the difference between an orgasm
and an anxiety attack!
I have the same problem.
The kinds of urges other girls act
on impulsively, I analyze until either
the urge goes away or --
The boy goes away.
Well. It sounds like your dad never
learned to leave his work at the
Lot of good it does me!
You'll make some man very happy
This hangs in the air. Anna looks at Bob.
What are you doing today?
Wanna come sailing?
Well, I... I, er...
That's okay. You don't have to.
Bob looks at Anna. He sees her attraction to him and it makes
him nervous but he doesn't want to reject her. He looks down
Actually, it's not that I don't want
to go. It's just that I've never
been on a boat and I'm not sure I
can handle it.
There's nothing to it. George Stark's
doing the sailing.
Just thinking about gives me hives.
EXT. GEORGE STARK'S DAY SAILBOAT, DAY. CLOSE ON BOB
Standing next to the mast, his hair blowing in the wind.
You're right, this is great! I never
actually thought I could do this. I
never thought this could be me!
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
That Bob, wearing life preservers on his body and legs, is
wrapped onto the mast from chest to toe with ropes. Anna,
George Stark (from the airport) and a few other kids sit
around enjoying the sail.
EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, DAY
Marvin stands at the end of the diving board, holding Siggy
by his ankles out over the water. On the shore next door,
the Guttmans sit in lounge chairs, fishing.
This is child abuse! If you drop me,
I am not going to let go until you're
ready, okay? Trust me and put your
hands out like I showed you.
I'm not ready! Do you hear? I'm not
George's sailboat heels by. From it wave Anna and some of
her friends -- and Bob.
(shouting and waving)
Hey Doctor M, look at me! I'm sailing!
Stunned, Marvin drops Siggy into the water. Siggy does a
belly flop then comes up for air, furious.
Murderer! Child molester...
Siggy, it was an accident!
EXT. A PIER NEAR WINNIPESAUKEE TOWN, LATER
Marvin walks along the shore towards the pier in time to see
Anna and a wobbly Bob disembark George's sailboat.
Anna sees her father. She says good-bye to George and her
friends then walks towards her father. Bob starts towards
Did you see me out there?! I'm getting
better all the time.
I want to see Anna alone.
Bob stops. Marvin waits while Anna walks to him.
I thought I told you to stay away
from Bob Wiley.
No. You just said I couldn't let him
in the house.
Marvin starts walking away from the sailboating party towards
the town green. He puts his arm around Anna so that she has
to walk with him.
Daddy, where are we going?
What about the car? I left it at the
Leave it. It's been a while since
I've had a walk with my daughter.
Anna looks back at her friends and Bob. She shrugs then turns
back to her father. From his pockets Marvin removes the Leo
and Anna puppets and hands her "Anna".
Daddy, not here!
Anna, I know you think you're old
enough to know what's best for you
and I know you're at the age where
you don't want to listen to your
father. But as your father, who's
always loved you, I'm asking you not
to see Bob Wiley.
Anna grabs the Anna puppet and puts it on, defiantly.
I don't understand the problem! Bob's
a nice guy!
Bob Wiley is a patient. He followed
me here from New York which is
bizarre. But even if it weren't
bizarre, my daughter seeing a patient
that I'm treating is entirely
Bob said you're not treating him
He's right there!
So if you're not treating him while
he's here, then he's not a patient
while he's here, is he? And I have
the right to see him!
She throws the puppet at Marvin then runs to her friends.
Anna, you're acting out!
Bob's a perfectly nice guy! He's
intense and sensitive and he listens
which is more than I can say about
Marvin stands a moment and watches. He is stunned.
Anna, come back!
Anna runs to Bob and takes his arm. They start walking down
the shore. Marvin is dumbstruck.
INT./EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, LATER
Siggy lies on the deck, looking up at the sky through
binoculars. Fay is in the kitchen, arranging driftwood. She
comes to the back door of the cottage.
Why don't you come in and talk about
Siggy says nothing.
Just because your father dropped you
in the water doesn't mean you can't
You sleep with him. You're his spy.
INT. THE FRONT DOOR OF THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME
Marvin enters, looking absolutely stunned.
Leo, you've upset Siggy.
Marvin stares blankly at Fay then shuffles up the stairs.
Again Marvin doesn't answer and Fay starts towards him.
That's right, go to him! You always
Fay stops, looks at Siggy then goes upstairs after Leo.
EXT. THE DECK, DAY
Siggy lies back down and peers through the binoculars. As he
does, a grotesque CLOSE UP OF BOB pops into Siggy's field of
view. He sits up with a start. Bob and Anna are standing
Oh. Hi, Bob. You scared me.
Sorry. Didn't mean to sneak up on
Siggy lies back down and looks through the binoculars, clearly
not interested in being social. Bob looks at Anna. She shakes
Dad's at it again. I can tell.
Another vacation that's not a
What's with him and diving? Maria
Shriver's not gonna watch me dive!
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE BEDROOM, SAME
Marvin is prostrate on the bed, Marvin puppet still on his
hand, staring at the ceiling. Fay enters. She sits down next
to Marvin and strokes his hair.
Leo, Siggy is really upset.
Marvin says nothing.
Marvin looks at his wife.
Fay, I'm a failure.
Our daughter, our only daughter, has
fallen for a brilliant manipulator
twice her age.
Leo, for god's sake talk sense.
Anna and Bob!
EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME
Siggy is standing on the diving board, ready for his approach.
Bob and Anna watch from the pier. Next door the Guttmans sit
Face a fear and it goes away.
Okay. I'm facing it, now what do I
Hit it. Fast. While it isn't looking.
Siggy takes a deep breath, summons up his courage, and makes
his approach. He springs but can't dive.
My mind says "yes yes" but my body
says "no no". It's hopeless.
If I'm not hopeless, nothing's
Bob steps onto the board. He "baby steps" out to the end
where Siggy is standing.
Let's try something I saw in a pirate
INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, SAME
Marvin is down the hall in the bathroom, dousing his face
with water. Fay stands in the bedroom.
For God's sake, I'm even a failure
in my own book! Can you believe it?
In Chapter 2, I wrote that a healthy
adolescent girl can never have a
sublimated father complex and my
daughter has one.
It's a brief flirtation, honey. Anna's
Then you're saying the book's wrong?
Better that than Anna.
Marvin washes his face some more then looks up.
Fay, my god!
Marvin walks into the room, water dripping off his face,
looking like a man who's just seen his own death.
Leo, what? Leo, what is it?
I'm going on national television
tomorrow -- to promote a fraud!
EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME
Bob is standing near the end of the diving board holding
Siggy by the hips. Siggy is hanging over the water, hands
and head down, ready to enter the water diving. Anna is
watching. So are the Guttmans.
Don't think about boiling oil!
Or searing acid!
Our Father, we commit this soul to
Bob gently releases Siggy. Siggy falls into the water, diving.
Anna applauds. So do the Guttmans. Siggy resurfaces and throws
a jubilant fist in the air.
INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, SAME
Fay holds Marvin's head in her bosom, stroking him.
No you're not.
I'll be a laughing stock!
No you won't. You've blow this way
out of proportion, Leo, and you have
to get control. Now try your
I'm being ridiculous.
He walks around breathing exaggeratedly.
It's a brilliant book... Our
daughter's fine... I'm great.
Applause from outside can be heard in the room. Fay goes to
Fay, do you remember a Carswell
My God, Leo, look at this.
The name is so familiar but --
Leo, Siggy's diving!
Marvin looks out the window. He sees:
EXT. THE MARVIN PRIVATE DOCK, SAME. MARVINS' POV
Bob releases Siggy for another perfect dive.
BACK TO MARVIN
I'll put a stop to this!
Marvin storms out of the bedroom.
EXT. THE MARVIN DOCK, SAME
Siggy stands at the end of the board, more confident now,
getting ready to do another dive. Bob holds Siggy again but
this time Siggy doesn't need much help if any. Marvin charges
down the dock, Fay right behind him.
Enough. Let go of him! That's enough!
Dr. M., watch this!
(leaning over to dive)
Stop diving this instant!
Marvin leaps onto the diving board, shaking it. Bob loses
his grip and Siggy falls off the board, doing a back buster.
Bob falls in too.
(daggers at Marvin)
Leo! Look at what you're doing! Leo,
look at yourself!
Everybody looks at Marvin, standing alone on the board. He
realizes that he's lost all control, something he never does.
He looks at the Guttmans.
What are you staring at? I had every
right to buy this house!
(looking in the water)
Where's Bob? Where's Bob?!
Anna and Fay dive into the water. They go under looking for
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DECK, AFTERNOON
Bob is off a bit by himself, wringing out his clothes. Fay,
Anna and Siggy sit toweling off. Marvin comes out of the
house and talks in low tones to his family.
Listen, everybody, I'm not wrong
often, but when I am, I admit it.
I'm sorry. I mean it. How can I make
There is a pause. Anna and Siggy and Fay look at each other.
Knocking Bob in the water was awful.
What if he hadn't known how to swim?
But he did. I'm not saying I was
right, but Bob can do a lot of things
no one thought he could do.
Anna, Fay and Siggy are silent.
Look, I said I was wrong now I'd
like to forget it. I'd like you all
to accept my apology.
What about Bob?
What about Bob?!
Don't you think you should apologize
ANGLE ON BOB
at the outdoor shower, rinsing off his clothes. He can't
hear the family but he can see they're talking about him and
he's giving them his best hang-dog looks.
I will not apologize to Bob.
Because I won't.
Honey, why are you so hostile towards
the poor man?
Because he's a patient, Fay! Don't
you get it?
He's not a patient, he's a person.
And a nice one.
I think we should invite him for
The poor fellow's devastated.
Fay heads towards Bob. Marvin turns to her. He keeps his
voice low to keep from being heard by Bob, but inside he is
about to explode.
I don't want Bob for dinner, Fay.
I don't want Bob for dinner, Fay. I
want to think about my interview.
Leo is trying not to explode. Fay hangs in the balance.
Do it, mom. Invite him. You'd be
making family history. It'd be the
first major thing you've done on
your own since I've known you!
Right is right, Leo Marvin.
Fay heads to Bob. Marvin's mouth falls open.
Testing 1, 2, 3. Testing. For the
next few seconds we will be conducting
a test of the emergency broadcast
Fay talks to Bob. Anna heads over to him too. Marvin stands
speechless, ready to commit hari-kari.
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE PATIO, EVENING
Dusk has descended over Lake Winnipesaukee. The glow of the
moon, the stars, and lights from the other cottages along
the lake shore provide peaceful illumination. The Marvin
family -- and Bob -- are dining out on their deck overlooking
the lake. Marvin sits silent, holding in his anger. Bob,
swinging at occasional moths, sits next to Siggy.
Get away. Get away!
Ring around the moon. Rain coming
(edgy to Siggy)
Gee, is that true?
It's superstitious nonsense.
Anna and Fay exit the cottage carrying trays of food.
(to Fay and Anna)
That looks scrumptious.
Anna smiles and hands the first plate of food to Bob. Marvin
sees this and crosses his arms. He shoots a death stare at
Anna. She defiantly shoots it right back. Bob sees this
exchange of looks.
Did I do something?
No, Bob. It's fine. Eat up. Leo.
Fay looks at Marvin and shakes her head "no".
Mmmm. Mmmmm. This sure is good. Mmmm.
Would you please stop that?
Oh. Sorry, Leo. Would you pass the
And don't call me Leo.
I'm sorry. You said in your office
that I could call you Leo.
That was in my office. In my home
you will call me Dr. Marvin.
Marvin snaps the salt down next to Bob. Bob looks helplessly
at Fay. Fay puts a hand on Bob's arm.
He's nervous about the interview
tomorrow. Don't take it personally.
Hey, that's right, I heard about
your upcoming debut. Congratulations.
Marvin nods and eats. Bob throws salt over his shoulder then
salts his food.
Your book's going to do a lot of
people a lot of good, Le-- Dr. Marvin.
I'm walking proof of that.
Marvin chokes on the food he's eating. Siggy slaps his dad
on the back. Marvin keeps coughing.
Marvin turns red and points to his throat. He falls to the
deck on his side. Bob stands.
Don't panic! I know what to do!
Bob hurries to Marvin, lies beside him, and administers the
Heimlick maneuver. On the second try, Marvin's throat clears.
Marvin lies in Bob's arms, coughing.
Dad, you okay?
Marvin says something. Fay leans over him to hear.
Leo, are you okay?
I said..., get him off me!
Bob lets go of Marvin. Marvin coughs and crawls away.
Bob, you saved him!
Fay helps Marvin gets to his feet. Suddenly, there is a flash
of lightning. Bob jumps. Rain begins to fall. Marvin looks
Told you so.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, NIGHT
The rain outside is coming down in buckets. Marvin is in the
living room, re-straightening the furniture and art ever so
meticulously. He adjusts a diploma over the mantle. Anna,
Fay, Siggy and Bob are in the kitchen, doing the dishes.
"I'm singing in the rain, Just singing
in the rain, What a glorious feeling,
Bob throws his pack of Kleenex into the trash.
I'm happy again!
Bob retrieves the pack of Kleenex from the trash.
"I walk though the kitchen With a
bowl full of chicken
(puts the chicken in
I'm singing, I'm singing In the rain."
Anna and Fay and Siggy start a dance. Marvin enters.
Look, tomorrow morning is very
important and I'd like to call it a
night. I don't want to be rude but I
think it's time for Bob to sing his
(re: the rain)
Honey, you don't expect Bob to walk
back in this do you?
Did I say that? I'll drive him.
The car's still in town, daddy.
You said to leave it, remember? We
Marvin seethes then looks darkly at Anna.
The rain's bound to let up. Bob can
What if it starts up again while
Bob's on the way?
He can borrow my slicker.
INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, LATE NIGHT
Marvin stands staring out the window like he'd like to murder
the rain that is still coming down in torrents. Bob is on
the couch, sitting alone, wearing Marvin's yellow slicker,
looking unwanted. Anna, Siggy and Fay sit quietly, watching
Marvin. Bob looks at Fay and shrugs like he's sorry. Fay
puts a sympathetic hand on Bob's.
Quiet. It's letting up.
There is a crash of thunder that shakes the rafters. Marvin
reaches out and slowly scratches the window, creating a tiny
squeaking sound. Fay walks to him.
Leo, we can't make the poor fellow
sit here all night. Let's let him
Stay over? Honey, Maria Shriver's
coming in the morning. Maria Shriver!
You want some guy sleeping on our
couch when Maria Shriver gets here?
He almost laughs at the idea.
There's an extra bed in Siggy's room.
Bob, would you like to spend the
Well I... Do you have a dacron pillow?
That's a great idea!
Are you sure I'm not imposing?
Of course you are -- !
-- aren't. Anna, find an extra set
of sheets. Siggy, get one of your
father's robes for Bob.
Fay shoots Marvin a dirty look then exits the room with Anna.
Marvin claws the window making a bone chilling squeak.
INT. SIGGY'S ROOM, NIGHT
Siggy's room has twin beds arranged head to head against the
corner. Bob, wearing one of Marvin's robes, enters. Siggy is
hanging up his clothes.
Did you find a toothbrush?
(belches and hits his
You care which bed?
I'd prefer facing southeast.
INT. MARVIN'S BEDROOM, SAME
Marvin enters in his pj's. Fay is preparing for bed.
Have you seen my new toothbrush?
It should be in the bathroom.
Well it should be but it's not!
Fay shoots Marvin a dirty look then heads towards the
Just because you're nervous about
tomorrow, Leo Marvin, doesn't give
you the right to get snippy. If you
can't handle the pressure, postpone
Fay, it's not the interview -- I
mean I am nervous about it -- but
that's not what's bugging me. It's...
Him who? Bob?
No, Siggy. Yes, Bob! Who else?
Leo, quiet. He'll hear you.
Why shouldn't he hear me? Don't you
get it, he's a sick person. A
multiphobic mess! He faked suicide...
Isn't that a cry for help?
...Followed me up here from New York,
wormed his way into my house. For
all I know, he's a mass murderer!
Oh come on, Leo, he's a sweet guy.
You don't know that! Everything he's
done violates the patient-doctor
relationship. Now he's in there with
INT. THE SIGGY'S BEDROOM, NIGHT
Bob and Siggy lie in Siggy's twin beds. Outside, lightning
flashes. Bob chews his nails.
How come you go to dad? Are you really
sick or just maladjusted?
Sick. You ever had a bee buzz your
face that wouldn't go away?
Sure. Once or twice.
When I was twelve, I had one buzz me
for three weeks.
Lightning strikes again. Bob bites his nails. He stands and
paces a bit. He notices some books in Siggy's bookcase.
Whoa. You got some heavy stuff here.
Denial of Death, Fear and Trembling,
Sickness Unto Death.
Those are dad's.
He lets you read this stuff?
He hid them but I found them.
Bob looks in one, shudders, then puts it back on the shelf.
Are you afraid of death?
Sure. Are you kidding?
What do you do about it? I mean, how
do you cope?
Well... The way I figure it, if it
weren't called "death", it wouldn't
be so bad. I mean what if it were
Then it would be fine. We'd say
"Grandma dinked." "The garbage man
My turtle just dinked.
Exactly. Then we wouldn't worry
Hey, you're right!
'Course we'd still have to worry
about Barrett's Esophagus and Black
Water Fever and Tourette's Syndrome.
What's Tourette's syndrome?
INT. FAY AND MARVIN'S BEDROOM, NIGHT
Fay and Leo lie near sleep. Suddenly, from the other room,
comes a loud barrage of profanity.
Fay and Marvin spring out of bed.
INT. SIGGY'S ROOM, NIGHT
Bob and Siggy are jumping up and down on their beds, spouting
profanity at each other. Marvin and Fay rush in.
What is going on in here?!
Bob and Siggy jump under the covers.
I asked you a question!
Tourette's Dad. You know, Dad.
Yeah, Dad... Leo... Dr. Marvin.
Marvin glares at Bob. Fay nudges Marvin.
It's kids being kids, Leo.
I don't want to hear another peep
out of this room. I'm trying to get
some sleep around here! Tomorrow is
the most important day of my career!
CBS is coming here. Maria Shriver is
coming here. Millions will be
watching. And buying!
I'm sorry, Dad. We'll stop.
We got carried away. We won't do it
Marvin stares at Bob.
I want you out by six thirty.
Understand. Maria Shriver comes at
seven, I want you out by six thirty.
Sure. Would you like something for
I've got Valium if you need it.
I don't need Valium.
I need peace and quiet!
I'll be quiet.
And I'll be peace.
Bob nudges Siggy and they try to contain their laughter.
Marvin glares at them then storms out. Fay comes up and tucks
them into their beds.
It's my fault, Mrs. M., we should
have been quieter.
We just have to get him through Maria
Shriver. Sleep tight. Don't let the
bed bugs bite.
It's just an expression.
Oh right. 'Night.
She turns out the light and pulls the door closed.
Fay opens the door.
Would you mind leaving it cracked?
Fay smiles and leaves the door cracked.
EXT. LONG SHOT OF LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, EARLY MORNING
A clearing storm, right after dawn. Three vans from "CBS
Morning" wind along the lake towards town.
EXT. THE SECOND STORY OF THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME
Through the window we see Siggy and Bob sound asleep in their
beds. DOLLY ACROSS the clapboards to Leo and Fay's room where
Fay lies sound asleep and Marvin lies looking at his watch.
It lets out a series of beeps and he stands and exits. DOLLY
back to Siggy's room where Marvin knocks, loudly.
Six o'clock, rise and shine!
Siggy sits up. Bob doesn't stir. Marvin enters, watch beeping,
and walks to Bob. He puts the watch next to Bob's ear.
Rise and shine. Six o'clock. Rise
and shine, rise and shine.
Bob doesn't move. Fay and Anna enter in robes.
He shakes Bob's bed.
Bob sleeps through incredible shaking and yelling from a
desperate Marvin then suddenly sits up with a start.
Everybody leaps back.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSEHOLD, EARLY MORNING
Marvin is in the living room, dressed in his stiffest casuals
from L.L. Bean, nervously adjusting his "set". Fay is in the
kitchen, preparing food. Momentarily, Bob comes bounding
down the stairs.
(more and more rapidly)
Baby stepping down the stairs. Baby
stepping down the stairs!
He turns and sees Marvin.
Hello! Is this a beautiful day or
Marvin walks to Bob.
I had the most incredible dream last
night, I --
Is this something you want me to
work out on my own?
Well. You've been right about
everything so far. God, therapy is a
fascinating process. 'Bye Mrs. M.
Thank you for everything. 'Bye Anna.
See you later.
'Bye Bob. See you later today, maybe.
Don't be a stranger.
You know me. I won't.
(towards the upstairs)
So long, ass wipe of the universe!
(coming to the railing
'Bye dog pissing barf brain!
Bob exits out the front door.
Later, fart smelling douche bag!
Maria Shriver's here.
Marvin turns red in the face. He walks to the door.
EXT. INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DOORWAY, SAME
MARIA SHRIVER and her entourage - PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, video
crew, etc. -- approach the door.
Dr. Marvin, Maria Shriver.
I hope we're not too early. May we
Marvin steps aside. The crew enters with equipment.
Sure. I thought by the fireplace...
It's a fireplace shot, fellows.
INT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME
Bob walks to the side screen door, pushes his nose to it and
watches. Marvin sees this and motions Bob away with his hand.
Bob waves back. Two men approach Marvin.
I'm the Director, Howie Katrell.
This is Lenny Burns, our Producer.
Marvin shakes their hands. Maria admires the house.
This is even nicer than the pictures.
Is this your family?
Oh, sorry. This is my wife, er, Fay.
My daughter Anna, and my son...
Marvin is so nervous, he's forgotten Siggy's name.
I'm Siggy, dad. How's Arnold? Can
you get me his autograph?
I think I can swing it.
Maria looks at Bob who is still standing in the screen door.
Hi. I'm Maria.
He opens the screen door and shakes her hand. This done,
Marvin closes the screen door on Bob.
Bob's a patient. He was just --
Wow. A Baby Stepper in action. Neat
idea. Howie, Dr. Marvin's gonna have
a patient on with him.
Fine. Let's can the fireplace shot
Now wait just a minute!
That's okay. We can still use the
fireplace. Phil, what say we set up
over there and...
Bob opens the screen door and walks back in. Marvin sees
this and can't believe it.
Ms. Shriver, --
You know the more I think about this,
Doctor, the more I love it. I mean
who better to testify to the
effectiveness of your book than one
of your patients. I think it's a two
I do to. Great idea, Dr. Marvin.
He slaps a disbelieving Marvin on the back.
INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, MORNING
The room is bright lit for TV and the crew is making last
minute adjustments. Marvin and Bob sit on the couch, both
nervous wrecks, Bob clutching his copy of Baby Steps and an
air sickness bag, Marvin clutching a copy of his book.
Marvin's diplomas and art are displayed prominently on the
"set". The proud family looks on. Fay leans in with a lint
roller, rolls Marvin's shirt, kisses him, and backs out.
Live feed in ten.
Knock em dead, honey.
Howie, I don't like that there.
A crew person rushes up and takes down Marvin's diploma.
Five -- four -- three --
Can I use the bathroom?
Howie points at Maria.
(TO TV CAMERA)
Good Morning. We're live in the
beautiful Lake Winnipesaukee summer
home of Dr. Leo M. Marvin, author of
the newest sensation in therapy,
Baby Steps. Also with us is Dr.
Marvin's patient, Bob Wiley. Good
morning, Dr. Marvin. Bob.
BOB AND MARVIN
Marvin shoots Bob a dirty look. Bob smiles innocently.
Suddenly Bob takes out his air sickness bag and holds it out
as if to throw up in it. After a long beat, Bob puts it back.
False alarm. Sorry.
Bob smiles. Marvin turns beet red.
Dr. Marvin, it takes a remarkable
amount of confidence in your methods
to bring on a patient with you. What
in particular about Bob's prior
condition would you like to share
Marvin looks at Bob. A tiny, sadistic smile comes across his
face. There are a million things he'd like to say about Bob --
to humiliate him, punish him, discredit him, ridicule him,
vilify him, pillory him -- on national TV.
Nothing? Nothing in particular you
think we should know?
Let me try you, Bob.
She smiles at Bob. Bob takes out his air sickness bag again.
He holds it for a long time then puts it away. He smiles.
Have you been a patient of Dr.
Marvin's for a long time?
Long time? I wouldn't call it a long
(looking at Marvin)
What? Three or four days?
INT. A DINGY ROOM IN A DOWNTOWN URBAN SPRAWL, SAME
Carswell Fensterwald sits watching Marvin and Bob on TV.
Marvin is a bumbling wreck, trying to save this one.
Well... you see... I was..., he was...
I was..., following his case
through..., another psychiatrist...
He thought I was, er, the perfect
doctor for the case. Because of my
Why you sly dogs, he was right! I
want to say that if more wisdom, or
more empathy, or more pure
intelligence exists than exits in
this man, I want to know about it.
Do you know that he actually had me
sleep here last night? In his jamies,
using his toothbrush!
That's a very unusual technique.
Fensterwald pounds his chair and howls with glee.
BACK TO MARVIN'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME
I'll say and I've been to them all.
Doctors who made you beat pillows.
He demonstrates by beating a couch pillow.
Doctors who make you scream.
Bob suddenly screams. Marvin jumps.
But this doctor has something simple.
Bob holds up Baby Steps then stands and walks back and forth
in front of Marvin. He holds the book so that it can be seen
by the TV camera.
Baby step across the room. Baby step
across the room...
He leans and looks into the TV camera.
Are you getting the book?
Bob plops back on the couch.
Let me tell you what I used to be
like before I met Dr M.
Bob puts his arm around Marvin.
Eleven years ago I was not the man
you see today. Eleven years ago...
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, MORNING
The CBS vans are loading up. Maria, Lenny and Howie stand at
the door saying good-by. Marvin hovers in the background, in
Bob, that stuff about yourself was
refreshingly honest. Could we talk
to you again in a few months to update
Sure. As long as my doctor gives
Marvin tries to force a smile but can't. A CBS staff
photographer comes over, places Bob and Maria in his frame
and snaps a picture. The CBS people head off.
Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs.
Maria and CBS leave.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME
The family and Bob move back into the house. Looking like a
zombie, Leo closes the door. He stands still for a long
My career... Everything I've worked
Marvin ambles across the room like a cripple. The family
watches in shock.
Suddenly Marvin turns on Bob.
Is it something, I said?
Marvin moves at Bob, backing him towards the front door.
Seeing Marvin's rage, Bob backs out and Marvin closes the
door. After a moment there's a knock. Marvin opens it.
Is this aversion therapy?
GO AWAY NOW!
Marvin slams the door again. The family is stunned.
My god, Leo, what's got into you?
Dad, you're over reacting. What about
EXT. THE CRIS CRAFT BOAT, DAY
The doctors and their wives sit rapt, listening to Doctor 3.
Yeah, what about Bob?
What about Bob?
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, DAY
WHAT ABOUT BOB?!
Daddy, look at your behavior. What
are you doing?
What am I doing? What am I doing?!
He strides across the room. He finds his electronic organizer,
opens it, and pushes buttons.
He holds out the organizer for family to see the readout.
I'm going sailing!
Sequence omitted from original script.
EXT. THE COUNTRY ROAD, DAY
Bob walks down the road, upset, talking to himself.
The fam is hurt. I've hurt them. I
didn't mean to. Certainly they realize
that. I've hurt the fam. Hurt the
fam. I've hurt the fam.
The Marvin station wagon, Marvin driving, passes. Bob sees
Fay, Siggy, and Anna turn and wave.
The car speeds on.
I hurt the fam.
EXT. THE WINNIPESAUKEE PIER, DAY
Marvin's family climbs aboard a small sailboat. Marvin pulls
a line onto the deck, then the boat glides out into the lake.
EXT. WINNIPESAUKEE TOWN, FILLED WITH VACATIONERS, SAME
Bob wanders, looking lost, mumbling.
I could apologize. But then I'd have
to go back and I'm not sure they
want me. I hurt the fam. That much I
know. Hurt the fam.
Hot dog, bub?
Bob looks idly up. A VENDOR with a cart is talking to Bob.
The VENDOR hands Bob a hot dog. Bob hands him money then
NEW ANGLE, A BUSY GREEN BESIDE THE PIER, DAY
Families of tourists stroll. Bob stands staring dejectedly
out at the lake. Unthinkingly, he takes a bite of the hot
dog then turns.
This has to be some kind of test. I
know I hurt them but they have to
know I didn't mean it. If it's a
test... I ate a hot dog.
Bob stares at the hot dog like it just spoke Greek.
I ATE A HOT DOG!
The tourists turn and stare.
EXT. LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, SAME
Marvin stands at the helm, sailing the small sailboat across
lake. The breeze blows Marvin's hair, making him look wild.
Anna suns. Siggy casts a fishing line. Fay stares into
I mean it's summer time right, what
could their audience be, five million?
Most of them hardly pay attention
anyway, right? The point is, the
book got on. It couldn't hurt sales,
that much could it?
Of course not.
I mean... It's a disaster, Fay!
Hey, look. Isn't that Bob?
Off the bow, a small motorboat is approaching.
ANGLE ON THE MOTORBOAT, SAME
Bob is steering a small motorboat towards the sailboat. He
holds half of his hot dog out like a trophy.
Dr. M! Dr. M., I've had a
breakthrough! I ate a hot dog! I'm
driving a boat! Thanks to you!
ANGLE IN THE SAILBOAT
It is Bob! It's Bob!
Anna and Siggy wave. Marvin's eyes narrow. Bob keeps shouting
as he motors closer.
I'm really making progress now! I
feel like a whole new world is opening
He keeps getting closer.
My childhood memories are rushing
over me like a flood!
Marvin turns the rudder and comes about.
He turns the sailboat and heads the opposite direction from
Daddy, what are you doing?
(at Bob's boat)
Daddy, he's trying to talk to you.
Marvin keeps sailing away. But Bob's boat is faster and it's
gaining. Marvin sees this, jerks the rudder again, and turns
ninety degrees. He stands and shouts at Bob.
Go away, do you hear me!!
Leo, the boom!
The boom hits Marvin square in the chest, and knocks him
ANNA, FAY, SIGGY
Daddy! Leo! Dad!
EXT. THE WATER, LAKE LEVEL, SAME
Marvin bobs in the water. The pilotless sailboat heels away.
Bob dives in, swims to Marvin, and grabs him by the chin in
a traditional life-saver hold. As Siggy gains control of the
sailboat, Bob begins doing the side stroke towards the distant
shore with Marvin in tow.
I never had a father, really. Dad
left one morning and never came back.
My earliest memory is mom with a
suitcase. Do you think that's
Marvin is a prisoner in tow. He drags himself under water.
Bob pulls him up and keeps swimming.
I'd like to do some free association
about my infancy: A beachball. A
dog. A frog. A log. Poodle, noodle,
As Bob swims Marvin towards the shore, going on and on with
this inane free association...
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, AFTERNOON
Marvin, dry and dressed now, exits the house and gets in the
station wagon. He honks. Momentarily Bob runs out.
(at the house)
Bob gets in the car. Affectless, Marvin stares at him.
Wherever we're going, Fay wants us
home by seven.
Marvin accelerates away, rudely.
EXT./INT. THE MARVIN STATION WAGON, DAY
Rain is falling. The wipers swish. Marvin drives through
pastoral New Hampshire countryside focused, perhaps too
intently, on the road. Bob sits beside him.
It's a combustible relationship,
isn't it? Is it just you and me or
is it you and everybody?
So what's the big surprise?
Isn't that what you came here for?
Yeah! But what brought this on now?
Wow. This is exciting.
EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, DAY
The rain has let up. Marvin pulls up to a gated estate
sporting expansive grounds and a hotel sized main building.
Marvin stops at a guard gate.
Leo Marvin to see Dr. Tomsky.
The GATE GUARD checks a list. He waves Marvin through. GATE
GUARD Main building doctor. They're expecting you.
Where are we?
Therapy land, Bob. A twentieth century
theme park of the mind.
The lines look short today.
EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, SAME
Marvin gets out and so does Bob. A man Leo's age, DR. TOMSKY,
Hello, Leo. Long time no see! Is
this our friend?
Bob Wiley, this is your new pal, Dr.
New pal? What's wrong with my old
Tomsky makes a motion of his head. Two big attendants move
to either side of Bob.
BIG ATTENDANT 1
Let us show you to your room.
They lead Bob off.
Hey! Don't touch me! I have seizures!
Dr. M! Dr. M!!
They take Bob into a building. Marvin turns to Tomsky.
I really appreciate your helping me
out on this, Kenneth.
Tomsky holds out a form for Marvin to sign. He does.
I can only hold him for twenty four
hours, Leo. Without staff
I'm not worried in the least, Kenneth.
I'm sure your entire staff will
corroborate. With intensive treatment
he should be out in about -- fifty
Marvin hands the clipboard back to Tomsky. They shake.
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE DRIVEWAY, LATE AFTERNOON
The Marvin station wagon pulls into the driveway, radio is
blasting, playing a tape of Neil Diamond. Marvin exits it,
dancing as he sings along.
MARVIN AND TAPE
"I'll be what I am, solitary man.
INT. THE MARVIN SUMMER HOUSE, SAME
Marvin enters singing. Siggy and Anna see him.
Dad, you okay?
"Okay, Anna Mae, Leo Marvin's okay
Leo Marvin, he's okay!"
Yeah, dad, where's Bob?
Can't a man enjoy himself on vacation?
Dad -- ?
Bob sends his regrets but he had to
take a trip.
What kind of trip? I thought you
were working with him.
Then why'd he go on a trip?
Why does a man climb a mountain,
Anna? Because it's there.
Marvin turns up the music and dances. Anna and Siggy stand
He didn't even say good-bye?
He just left?
It's not like Bob not to say good-
That's why he left, you see. He just
Dad, if you did something to Bob...
Anna, what do you take me for?
Marvin, looking perfectly content, turns off the music, goes
to his chair, picks up Freud's Understanding Dreams, the
book he's been trying to read since he arrived here. Siggy
and Anna stare at him suspiciously. Fay enters carrying the
Leo, a Dr. Tomsky says it's urgent.
Marvin takes the phone and walks into the kitchen. Anna and
Siggy look even more suspicious. Momentarily Leo strides out
of the kitchen and walks out the front door.
Leo, where are you going?
Just like that?
Be home by seven, okay?
Marvin doesn't answer because he's gone.
Something's rotten in Winnipesaukee.
EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, LATE AFTERNOON
Marvin's car screeches up. Marvin hurries out.
INT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, SAME
Bob sits around a table with Tomsky and several members of
the STAFF who are laughing.
Wait, I've another one. Who knows
the difference between Freud and
He sees blank, expectant faces, waiting for a punchline.
Well if you don't know, I'm going to
All laugh. Tomsky sees Marvin enter and stands.
So a psychiatrist and a psychologist
go into a bar and order Bloody
INT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME HALLWAY, SAME
Tomsky joins Marvin in the hall. In the other room we see
Bob continuing to joke with the staff.
Kenneth, you have been duped by a
textbook narcissist. A brilliant
Brilliant enough to dupe my entire
staff? I doubt that.
Tomsky stuffs a paper into Marvin's shirt pocket.
I'm giving you back his admitting
forms, Leo, to save you any
It's perfectly natural for a patient
to bond with his analyst. It's a
normal part of therapy. If you want
to be rid of him, simply take him
back where you got him and go home.
That's easy for you to say! He's
human crazy glue! If it were that
simple do you think I'd be here?
You should have never let him sleep
in your pajamas, Leo. His problems
don't go away just because you want
Whose side are you on?!
Take a vacation.
I'm on vacation!!
Are you sure? Maybe you should check
in here for a few days and get a
handle on things?
Marvin looks at Tomsky, amazed at the implication of this
EXT. THE COUNTRYSIDE OF NEW ENGLAND, DAY
Marvin drives. Bob rides. Marvin looks ready to explode.
Intensive psychotherapy? -- boy, you
weren't kidding, were you? I mean
even Dr. T. didn't think I needed
Look I have an idea -- how are your
afternoons? I mean since we're here
together with nothing else to do,
what say we work from two to four,
something like that?
EXT. THE COUNTRY ROAD, SAME
The Marvinmobile screeches to a halt and Marvin jumps out.
He rushes around the car and opens Bob's door.
Get out! Get out of my car, get out
of my life, don't ever come back!
Marvin drags Bob out of the car and slams the door.
Are you saying you'd prefer mornings?
Marvin gets back in and floors it. He speeds off.
What is this, isolation therapy?
Bob stands alone on the road.
You're the doctor.
Birds chirp and crickets crick. A pick-up truck passes and
Bob sticks out his thumb. The pick-up stops.
INT. MARVIN'S CAR, SAME
Marvin is about to bust a vessel. Telephone poles shoot by
like pickets on a fence. Behind him a siren wails. In his
rear-view mirror, Marvin sees a motorcycle cop approaching.
No! You won't catch me!! NO!
EXT. THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, ANOTHER SPOT, LATER
The motorcycle cop is writing a steaming Leo Marvin a ticket.
A passing pick-up slows and Bob leans out the passenger
Need any help?
Remember: be home by seven.
The pick-up drives on. The motorcycle cop hands Marvin a
ticket. Marvin gets back into his car, throws it in gear,
and the car jerks backwards into the guardrail.
Marvin throws it into forward. The car, fender dented, tears
EXT. THE PORCH OF A COUNTRY HOUSE, LATE AFTERNOON
Sitting on the porch of his house, an OLD MAN watches as
Marvin's car slows to a stop out in the road. The tire under
the dented fender is torn to ribbons by the metal and the
car is now riding on the rim. Marvin stops, gets out of the
car, and looks at the tire.
First he ruins my life, now he ruins
Cursing to himself, Marvin walks to the trunk and removes a
God! Damn! Son of a bitching! Bob!
A WOMAN comes out of the house and joins the old man. They
watch in silence as Marvin jacks up his car. As he twists
and grimaces and kicks to get off the lug nuts, it starts to
Shit piss crap! Son of a bitching
douche bag asshole!
THREE MORE PEOPLE come out on the porch and watch. As Marvin
struggles, the car slips off the jack and slams to the
pavement. Marvin begins kicking the tire and hitting it with
What about Bob?! Think about Bob!
What about Bob? What about Bob? WHAT
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DUSK
Mumbling to himself, soaking wet, and filthy with tire grime,
Marvin walks to his house. He kicks open the front door.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DUSK. MARVIN'S P.O.V.
Lights go on. Thirty people stand around the room with party
favors and drinks. In unison they yell:
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday
to you! Happy Birthd...
The singing tapers into silence. Flabbergasted by Marvin's
disheveled appearance, the party guests stare. Fay and the
kids approach, tentatively.
Dad, what happened?
Leo, look at yourself!
Just a little car trouble, hon. I'm
Fay is speechless. So are Siggy and Anna. Not wanting to let
things sink, party-hardy well-wishers approach Leo.
PARTY GUEST 1
Happy Birthday, Leo.
PARTY GUEST 2
Some night to have car trouble. You
almost missed your own surprise party!
Happy Birthday, Dr. M!
Marvin turns and stares at Bob.
I couldn't miss your birthday!
Marvin suddenly leaps at Bob and grabs him by the throat. He
pushes him through three rooms of the house, choking him.
I want you dead! Dead, you hear me,
Marvin falls on the floor on top of Bob. Guests go to pull
INT. THE MARVIN BEDROOM, NIGHT
Marvin lies in bed in the darkened room. He can hear the
party guests huddle outside in the hall, whispering. A guest
whom we recognize as the Doctor 3 from the boat, (the man
who is telling this story), enters carrying his doctor's
bag. He approaches Fay who is wringing her hands. Both speak
in whispers loud enough for Marvin to decipher.
I've never seen him like this, Phil.
He's got this delusion about Bob
Wiley being the cause of all his
problems and I don't know what to
He's under a lot of stress, Fay. His
book, his interview which frankly
didn't go so well, his birthday.
That's a lot to bite off all at once.
I'll give him a sedative and he'll
You really think so?
Phil puts a hand on Fay's hand and nods.
INT. THE MARVIN LIVING ROOM, NIGHT
Bob sits on the couch beside Siggy. Anna approaches.
You feeling better?
I'm fine. It's your dad I'm worried
about. How is he?
Upstairs. Resting. I can't understand
why he'd attack you like that.
Anna sits next to Bob. Bob sees George Stark, standing across
the room, smiling at Anna.
I can't either. But one thing I've
learned about psychiatrists: they're
brilliant manipulators. I trust your
dad completely. I'm sure everything
he's done has been to help me.
How come you aren't making a move on
(glancing at George)
Bob, we've talked about this.
No, you've talked about it and I've
listened. In my opinion, George
Stark's smile is not Oedipal
regression and it's not confused
libido. It's one good looking guy
drooling over you, Anna Marvin.
Go ask if you can put your tongue in
his mouth. I hear it works every
Anna smiles then summons her courage, and smilingly approaches
George. He is clearly delighted. A woman walks up to Bob.
Hi. Fay said to introduce myself.
I'm Lily, Leo's neurotic sister.
We saw LILY MARVIN'S picture in Leo's office. Bob stands,
A pleasure. I'm neurotic too.
Really, what a coincidence. Am I
Only in a good way. Sit down.
It must be nice having an analyst in
I don't know, ask Leo. I'm an analyst
Sequence omitted from original script.
INT. MARVIN'S DARKENED BEDROOM, NIGHT
Phil empties a large syringe into Marvin's buttock. He swats
Marvin's behind and Marvin pulls up his pj's.
That should give you some interesting
ideas for your next book. You might
even wake up feeling happy.
I doubt it. Phil, do you remember a
classmate named Fensterwald?
Carswell Fensterwald? Sure. Who could
I've forgotten and I don't know why.
Did anything unusual happen with
Do I act like a man who's joking?!
Relax, Leo. I just can't believe
you'd block something like that out.
Carswell was at Harvard with us. You
turned him in for cheating.
Don't you remember? You brought action
against him for stealing your
psychoanalysis notes and they booted
him. The only place that would take
him after that was University of
Marvin tries to speak but nothing comes out of his mouth.
Tomsky watches with concern.
Leo, is there something about Carswell
that's disturbing you? Leo...?
Thanks, Phil. Enjoy the party.
Phil lingers then leaves, closing the door. Marvin begins
shaking all over. As he does the bed rattles rapidly against
the wall. Leo's losing it. He's no longer the same sane man.
In the darkness we hear:
Baby steps, make a plan.
INT. MARVIN'S BEDROOM, THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Fay sleeps soundly next to Marvin who is wide eyed, staring
at the ceiling, twitching. Marvin pulls himself carefully
out of bed and crawls on the floor to the door.
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME
Marvin, carrying his shoes, crawls outside. He tries to put
his shoes on and falls flat on his face. He then pulls himself
up and hobbles away.
EXT. THE WINNIPESAUKEE GENERAL STORE, MORNING
This is where the Marvin family was shopping when Bob first
came to town. Marvin paces outside until the owner opens the
front door for business.
INT. THE GENERAL STORE, MORNING
Marvin wanders through the hardware section, looking around.
FRED, the owner, works behind the counter.
Can I help you, doctor?
I want to buy a gun.
Fred walks to a case.
I've got Winchesters. Colts. What do
you plan on hunting?
Er. An animal. This tall. Hundred
and seventy pounds. Bermuda shorts.
Take a look at this baby. It'll shoot
through anything but it also leaves
a clean wound.
He hands Marvin a rifle. Marvin examines it.
Your wife was in with that Bob fellow.
Sure is a nice guy.
(handing back the
What do you have that leaves a messy
ANGLE ON THE CASH REGISTER AREA
Fred is ringing up Marvin's purchase: two rifles and a box
I'll need you driver's license, social
security number, and you can pick
them up on Friday...
(checks a calendar)
There's a two week waiting period in
I can't wait two weeks! I need these
He grabs the rifles. Fred keeps a firm grip on them.
Dr. Marvin, it's the law.
Fred wins the tug-of-war. Marvin stares at him.
What about explosives? Any waiting
EXT. BOB'S COTTAGE, MORNING
Marvin, carrying a bag and singing to himself, walks up to
the cottage. He looks around then kicks open the door.
INT. BOB'S COTTAGE, MORNING
The place looks completely anonymous except for Gil in a
bowl and Bob's bag of clothes. Marvin sits on the floor,
filling a pair of milk cartons with gray powder.
"Bob fell in to a Burning ring of
fire. He went down down down And the
flames went higher. And it burned
burned burned, That ring of fire.
The ring of fire."
Marvin removes a wired mechanism from the bag and a timer.
He delicately pushes the wires into the milk cartons then
carefully ties on some fuse wires. He puts the milk cartons
and wired mechanisms into a BACKPACK and puts it under Bob's
bed. He begins laying the fuse wire along the floor towards
Marvin passed Gil, sitting on a table. Marvin picks up the
bowl and puts it under the bed next to the bomb. He then
goes back to laying the wire into the kitchenette.
EXT. BOB'S COTTAGE, SAME
Marvin lays the fuse wire across room and out the door. He
closes the door and starts to set the timer when he spots a
note hanging on the nearby mailbox:
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. G., If I'm not
here, I'm at the Marvins. Would you
feed Gil? Thanks. Bob. P.S. Your
denture adhesives arrived so I put
them in your mailbox. Enjoy. Bob. "
Marvin seethes. He thinks a moment then heads back into the
cottage. Momentarily he returns carrying the back pack and
the long wire fuse.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, DAY
Bob, Anna and Siggy sit around watching Fay on the phone.
Well if you hear from him, Donna,
please call... Thanks.
She hangs up.
Nobody's seen him.
She stands and gets her purse off the table.
I'm going looking for him.
Shouldn't somebody stay here in case
he comes back?
We'll leave him a note.
She pauses then stops in front of Bob.
Bob, I'm not defending Leo's recent
behavior in any way, so please don't
take this personally. However
irrational the reasons, Leo is so
upset with you that I think it would
be best if you weren't around when
he comes back.
Yeah, mom. Why?
Because I say so, Siggy.
Please don't think it's the way I
want it. It's just that Leo's not
It's not Bob's fault.
Listen to your mom, Siggy. All of
you get out of here, okay? I'll
straighten up before I go and when
Dr. M. comes home, everything will
be exactly the way he likes it.
Bob you're such a dear. Take good
care, all right?
Fay hugs Bob. So does Anna.
You give George a chance okay?
Anna nods. Bob turns to Siggy who is upset. Bob holds out
Give me leather, ass wiping bastard
Siggy swats Bob's hand.
Green puking piss-ant.
The family and Bob exchange pregnant good-bye looks, then
Fay and Siggy and Anna exit.
NEW ANGLE, OUT THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW, SAME
Bob watches as the Marvin family walks away. They wave. Bob
waves back, sadly. He shuffles across the room. He stops at
the puppets on the mantle.
I guess this is good-bye, fam.
Bob shuffles to Marvin's chair. He stares at the book Marvin
has been trying to read, Freud's Understanding Dreams then
casually opens it. He reads for a moment, gets interested in
it and sits down. He sits back in Marvin's chair, reading.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, LATER
Bob is asleep in Marvin's chair, Freud's Understanding Dreams
open on his chest. Suddenly Marvin's face pops up at the
window. He looks in, sees Bob, then ducks back down.
Momentarily, the front door to the cottage is kicked open
and there stands a seething Marvin.
Get up and don't make a sound!
Dr. M.! Everybody's looking for you.
Marvin brandishes the back pack.
I said shut up!
Okay. You're the doc.
EXT. THE MARVIN HOUSE, SAME
Marvin, carrying the back pack, leads Bob outside. Bob looks
Where we going hiking?
Into the woods.
Is this is a new form of therapy?
Yeah, Bob, it's death therapy. It's
a guaranteed cure.
Death therapy. I like it.
Marvin leads Bob into the woods beside the cottage.
EXT. THE WOODS NEAR THE HOUSE, SAME
Bob sits on a stump. Marvin puts the back pack on Bob's
shoulders then starts tying his hands behind him. Bob sits
passively, letting him.
This is pretty imaginative, Dr. M.
Will this be in your new book?
If it is, I'll dedicate it to you,
Great. Ow. That hurts. Ow.
Marvin keeps tying Bob's hands.
What is this now, pain therapy?
Exactly. Now yell and scream and
Ow! Ahh! Ow! That really hurts.
Marvin sets the timer then walks away.
Say hello to Freud for me.
Marvin walks out of the woods.
Dr. M, this hurts!
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME
Marvin enters, looking happy. He goes to the stereo, puts on
Neil Diamond's "Penny Arcade" and cranks it up loud, then
goes to the window and opens it.
(yelling to the woods)
Music to die by, Bob!
Marvin does a little dance and talks to himself.
I guess it was suicide, Fay. He tried
it once, remember. Just goes to show,
you never can tell.
EXT. THE WOODS, SAME
Bob sits trying to get comfortable.
I'm worried about getting gangrene,
Dr. M! I think I get the point!
He struggles some more.
At least I think I get the point.
Maybe I'm not supposed to sit here.
Maybe I'm supposed to undo these
He begins struggling to untie himself.
So that my inner knots..., these
strong..., restricting..., inner
He gets a hand free.
Will come undone too.
Both hands free, Bob stands.
INT. THE MARVIN HOUSE LIVING ROOM, SAME
Marvin is still dancing around, looking at his watch. He
holds up five, four, three, two, one fingers then prepares
for an explosion. Instead Bob opens the door.
Still wearing the back pack, Bob walks into the room.
Death therapy cured me!
Marvin runs across the room away from Bob.
Yes! I used to be so afraid of
everything, it was like dying a
thousand deaths a day. Now, that you
showed me I have only one death to
be afraid of, I'm not afraid of
Marvin runs out the back door of the house. Bob stands there
Don't be so modest!
EXT. THE MARVIN DOCK, DAY
Marvin runs out to the dock and tries to start the little
motor boat that sits there. Bob stops at the back door of
the house, casually tosses the back pack onto a chair, then
Bob walks out onto the dock. Marvin is working frantically
to start the motorboat.
Dr. M., I'm really cured!
The house explodes. Debris rains down on Bob and Marvin.
After it settles, the bust of Freud lands on the dock in
front of them.
Did somebody leave the gas on?
Why won't you go away! I disgraced
myself on national television! No
one will buy my book! My family's
going to hate me!
Dr. M., your family loves you.
Marvin is about to attack Bob then stands limp, a beaten
man. What's left of the house is now burning. The Guttmans
have run out of their trailer.
Burn. Burn! Burn!!
In the distance, SIRENS APPROACH.
Dr. M. you have the crown jewels of
England all around you. You have a
wife with a generous heart. You have
great kids and an incredible sister.
Stay away from my sister!
Dr. M, you have a fam!
Marvin stares at Bob then takes a small can of gas from the
old motorboat and pours gas on himself. The SIRENS get closer.
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're an ingrate.
People are miserable all over the
world and you're killing yourself?
You should be ashamed.
Don't talk that way to me!
Maybe I was wrong about you.
Do you hear me?!
Maybe you're not so good after all.
Marvin leaps on Bob.
I'll kill you!
Marvin attacks Bob on the dock. Fire trucks arrive. Fay and
the family drive up too. As a couple of FIREMEN and the family
rush to separate Marvin and Bob...
LONG DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. DOCTORS' HOUSE BOAT, SUNSET
The doctors and their wives sit around Phil, stunned. Off
their bow is the slab that was once the Marvin house.
And they took him away.
My god, it was insanity. Bob drove
Marvin to complete insanity!
Leo was taken to the Tomsky Institute
for a few days for observation. He
lost his medical license, of course.
A doctor can't try to kill one of
his patients and expect to get away
Well thank god for that.
(the other doctors
stare daggers at her)
I mean..., you know... I mean...
Then what happened?
Leo was returned to his family.
EXT. THE TOMSKY CONVALESCENT HOME, DAY
Leo stands, small suitcase in hand, looking sad and fragile.
Fay, Anna, Siggy, Lily and Bob get out of the station wagon
and look at him. No one says a word, then Bob goes up and
puts his arms around Leo. Leo stands motionless, shell
Bob and the family rented a lakeside
cottage where they could help Leo
EXT. THE LAWN OF A LAKESIDE COTTAGE, DAY
Gil's bowl sits on a lawn table. In addition to Gil, the
bowl now contains several baby guppies. Marvin lies on a
deck chair, covered with a blanket, staring into nowhere.
Bob is next to him, talking on a cordless phone.
I understand. Sure.
He hangs up and puts the phone down.
Bob makes some notes in his organizer then gets up. He grabs
hold of both of Leo's shoulders.
I'm going over here. I'll be right
Leo doesn't look at him. A zombie would seem more alive. Bob
goes and joins the volleyball game.
Okay, I'm with Siggy.
Marvin sits staring into nowhere. The phone rings. Again.
The volleyball game continues.
(a touch louder)
After another ring, he reaches for it.
VOICE ON PHONE
May I speak to Bob, please?
(still staring into
Bob's... unavailable right now. Can...
I take a message?
VOICE ON PHONE
I'm Mr. Jameson with the Tucson school
district. Bob contacted us about
buying some toothbrushes but we're
going to have to cancel the order.
Tucson canceling order... Any message
It's not a priority right now.
Not priority... right now.
Well... money's tight and...
Though, you know there is another
way to look at it.
Well... if you gave a new toothbrush
and taught dental hygiene to every
student at your school... In the
long run you'd save them thousands
of dollars. I mean look at the cost
of dental bills. I bet I could have
put my kids through college with
what I've spent on fillings.
That's an interesting point.
It is, isn't it?
Maybe you should try the toothbrushes.
You might do a lot for education by
Huh. I never thought of that.
I tell you what. Tell Bob we'll take
the order and see how it goes.
Marvin hangs up the phone. He affectless expression suddenly
turns to one full of thought.
Marvin sits up, gaining energy, even enthusiasm.
The Marvin family hurries over.
Leo Marvin now makes toothbrushes.
Bob puts his arm around Leo as he gestures and talks more
and more animatedly to his delighted family.
The irony, of course, is that Bob
brought the family closer than they'd
ever been before. Harvey Green saw
Leo last month and said he never
EXT. THE DOCTOR'S HOUSE BOAT
The doctors are stunned.
My god. The poor bastard.
And you thought you had nightmares.
What happened to Bob?
The others jump in: "Yeah, what about Bob? What about Bob?
What about Bob?"
Bob married Lily and had triplets.
He went back to school, got a degree
in marriage-family-counseling, and
now has a big practice on Park and
INT. BOB WILEY'S MANHATTAN OFFICE, DAY
Bob sits in the shrink's chair. Sitting in three chairs in
front of him are a FATHER, MOTHER, and SON.
Son of a bitch!
(gently to the father)
Try ass wipe of the universe.
Ass wipe of the universe!
The family look at each other. Tears well. They hug.
EXT. THE DOCTORS ON THE BOAT
The doctors look at each other in astonishment.
DOCTOR 2 (V.O.)
Wait a minute. You're not telling me
that Bob Wiley is Dr. Robert S. Wiley,
That's exactly what I'm telling you.
A BIG HOUSE BOAT goes by. Phil yells to it.
Hey Bob! Hello, BOB!!
ANGLE ON THE BIG HOUSEBOAT
Bob is surrounded by Lily Marvin, three toddlers and lots of
friends. Smiling, Bob waves at the doctors.
Wrote that huge best seller? What's
Bob's boat turns. On it's stern, in huge letters is it's
name: "Vacation Therapy".
Exactly. Sold 2 million copies.
ANGLE ON THE DOCTORS BOAT
who are dark green with envy.
I don't believe it!
I'll never take another vacation as
long as I live!
ANGLE ON BOB'S HOUSEBOAT
As the other doctors second in agreement, WE SEE Bob's hugely
happy houseboat motors off. We see Bob's big smile as he
passes out Kleenex to his family then waves good-bye to the
ROLL END CREDITS.