The Internet Movie Script Database (IMSDb)


The web's largest
movie script resource!

Search IMSDb

Alphabetical
# A B C D E F G H
I J K L M N O P Q
R S T U V W X Y Z

Genre
Action Adventure Animation
Comedy Crime Drama
Family Fantasy Film-Noir
Horror Musical Mystery
Romance Sci-Fi Short
Thriller War Western

Sponsor

TV Transcripts
Futurama
Seinfeld
South Park
Stargate SG-1
Lost
The 4400

International
French scripts

Movie Software
DVD ripper software offer
Rip from DVD
Rip Blu-Ray

Latest Comments
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith10/10
Star Wars: The Force Awakens10/10
Batman Begins9/10
Collateral10/10
Jackie Brown8/10

Movie Chat



ALL SCRIPTS




                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 108 

                                "A BIG PIECE OF GARBAGE"

                                           By

                                      Lewis Morton

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet


               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat around the table.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll 
                         be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the 
                         virus planet.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Why can't they go today?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Because tonight's a special night and 
                         I want all of you to be alive. It's 
                         the Academy of Inventors annual symposium.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Wow! I love symposia.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         It's the event of the scientific season. 
                         Every member presents an invention and 
                         the best one wins the Academy prize.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Sounds boring.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, my, yes. But not this year, because 
                         my latest invention is unbeatable. Behold! 
                         The death clock.  Simply jam your finger 
                         in the hole and this readout tells you 
                         exactly how long you have left to live.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Does it really work?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Well it's occasionally off by a few 
                         seconds. What with free will and all.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Sounds like fun. How long do I have 
                         left to live?
 
               
               [He puts his finger in the hole and the clock dings.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!

               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Mr. Bender's Wardrobe By Robotany 
               500.]
 
               
               [Academy of Inventors. The room is filled with doctors and professors 
               all wearing white lab coats. Bender is wearing a top hat and 
               is talking to Farnsworth.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, my, yes.

               
                                     FRY
                         Who's the gross nerd?

               
               [He points to a picture of a geek on the wall.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         That's me at the very first symposium. 
                         I'm the Academy's oldest living member, 
                         you know. These youngsters all look 
                         up to me.
 
               
               [Enter an old man.]

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Well, well, well. Look who decided to 
                         show his wrinkled face.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Why don't you just leave me alone, Wernstrom?!
 
                         
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Face it, Farnsworth, you're over the 
                         hill. It's time to leave science to 
                         the 120-year-olds.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         You young turks think you know everything. 
                         I was inventing things when you were 
                         barely turning senile.
 
               
               [Wernstrom laughs.]

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Go home before you embarrass yourself, 
                         old man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm 
                         going to take a nap before the ceremonies.
 
                         
               
               [He leaves.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Who's that jerk?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         A hundred years ago he was my most promising 
                         student at Mars University. But then 
                         after one fateful pop-quiz...
 
               
               [Flashback: Mars University. A younger Farnsworth hands a younger 
               Wernstrom a piece of paper.]
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom 
                         an A-minus!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I'm sorry but penmanship counts.

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         I swear I'll have my revenge even if 
                         it takes me a hundred years.
 
               
               [Flashback ends.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         And here it is: Slightly over 99 years 
                         later and still no revenge. I'm essentially 
                         in the clear.
 
               
               [Academy of Inventors Auditorium. Bender, Fry and Leela are sat 
               at a table. Bender is wearing a top hat and is reading the wine 
               list. A waiter takes his order.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I've been perusing your fortified wine 
                         list and I've selected the '71 Hobo's 
                         Delight, the '57 Chateau Par-tay and 
                         the '66 Thunder Chevitz.
 
               
                                     WAITER
                         Exquisite choices, sir.

               
                                     BENDER
                         And mix them all together in a big jug.
 
                         
               
               [Time Lapse. The lights in the auditorium are now dimmed and 
               Ron Popeil's head in a jar is on the stage.]
 
               
                                     POPEIL
                         Welcome to this year’s Academy of Inventors 
                         Annual Symposium, I'm your host, Ron 
                         Popeil, inventor of Mr. Microphone, 
                         the spray-on toupee and - of course 
                         - the technology to keep human heads 
                         alive in jars.  But wait, there's more. 
                         We've got a whole line-up of inventors 
                         tonight, starting with that up and coming 
                         young star, Ogden Wernstrom.
 
               
               [The audience applauds and Wernstrom stands up and walks onto 
               the stage. Fry boos him.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) More wine!

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Distinguished members of the Academy, 
                         I present to you, the Reverse SCUBA 
                         Suit. Observe!  Fetch!  Now, sit!  I 
                         said sit!  Bad fish!
 
               
               [He hits the fish with a newspaper and it sits. The audience 
               applauds. Farnsworth groans.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Don't worry, Professor, it's no competition 
                         for your death clock.
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         And what will you be presenting this 
                         evening, grandpa?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Let's just say it'll put you young whippersnappers 
                         in your place!
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         I just hope it's not as lame as that 
                         death clock you presented last year.
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Uh, last year, you say?

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         That's right.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, my! Did it put you young whippersnappers 
                         in your place?
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Hardly! We laughed until our teeth fell 
                         out. Come along, Cinnamon.
 
               
               [His fish follows him.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, dear, I'll have to invent something 
                         new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps 
                         some sort of death clock.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Uh, Professor...?

               
               [Time Lapse. A man on the stage demonstrates a helicopter hat. 
               He turns a handle and flies away. The audience applauds.]
 
               
                                     POPEIL
                         Our last presentation comes from our 
                         oldest member, Professor Hubert Farnsworth. 
                         Professor?
 
               
               [A spotlight falls on Farnsworth. He is scribbling something 
               on a piece of paper.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Just a second, just a second.

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Pencils down, prune-face.

               
               [Farnsworth snarls and runs onto the stage.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Uh, yes, here I am, OK, now, hello there. 
                         Now, we all know telescopes allow us 
                         to see distant objects. But what if 
                         we want to smell distant objects? Well 
                         now we can! Thanks to my new invention...the 
                         Smellescope.
 
               
               [He puts a piece of paper on a projector. The audience starts 
               talking.]
 
               
                                     MAN
                         Oh, I say!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         The odour travels past this coffee stain 
                         here, around the olive pit and into 
                         this cigar burn. And this appears to 
                         be a, doodle of myself as a cowboy. 
                          But the Smellescope is brilliant, I 
                         tell you! Think of the astronomical 
                         odours you'll smell thanks to me.  Oh, 
                         my!
 
               
               [He puts it back on the projector. It is smudged. The audience 
               laughs again.]
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         I've waited a hundred years for this, 
                         Farnsworth. I give your invention the 
                         worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus.
 
                         
               
               [The audience laughs. Farnsworth walks off the stage.]

               
               [Time Lapse. Ron Popeil is back on the stage. A trophy is beside 
               him.]
 
               
                                     POPEIL
                         And now for the presentation of the 
                         award. Listen, folks, I'm practically 
                         giving this prize away to Dr. Wernstrom, 
                         for his fish thingy.
 
               
               [Wernstrom picks up the trophy and shakes his fish's leg. Farnsworth, 
               outside, sighs and walks away.]
 
               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Leela and Farnsworth 
               are sat around the table.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a 
                         scientist.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yep!

               
                                     FRY
                         No, Professor, don't give up. There 
                         were plenty of times in my century when 
                         I was gonna give up but I never did. 
                         Never! Hey, are you even listening to 
                         me? Oh, I give up!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         By God, you're right! I'm going to build 
                         that Smellescope!
 
               
               [Planet Express: Attic.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Eureka!

               
               [Fry, Leela and Bender run in.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Did you build the Smellescope?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No, I remembered that I'd built one 
                         last year. Go ahead. Try it. You'll 
                         find that every heavenly body has its 
                         own particular scent. Here, I'll point 
                         it at Jupiter.
 
               
               [Fry sniffs.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Smells like strawberries.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Exactly! And now Saturn.

               
               [Fry sniffs.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great! 
                         Hey, as long as you don't make me smell 
                         Uranus.
 
               
               [He laughs.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         I don't get it.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed 
                         Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke 
                         once and for all.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh. What's it called now?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Urectum. Here, let me locate it for 
                         you.
 
               
               [Fry chuckles.]

               
                                     FRY
                         No, no, I think I'll just smell around 
                         a bit over here!  Hmm.  Hmm.
 
               
               [He sniffs again and starts gagging.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         What is it?  Oh, jeez! Oh, man! Remarkable! 
                         A stench so foul is right off the funk-o-meter. 
                         I dare say Fry may have discovered the 
                         smelliest object in the known universe.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooh, ooh, name it after me!

               
               [Leela sniffs.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         I think it's moving.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Hmm, perhaps the computer can calculate 
                         its trajectory.  My God! Whatever it 
                         is it's headed straight for us. With 
                         enough force to reduce this entire city 
                         to a stinky crater. We have less than 
                         72 hours.
 
               
               [Fry, Leela and Bender gasp.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Well, lets get looting!

               
               [He picks up a TV and runs out.]

               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat around the table 
               looking at a hologram of the Earth.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         So this thing's gonna destroy the whole 
                         city?  What the heck is it?
 
               
               [Farnsworth taps a keyboard.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ah! Just as I thought. The answer lies 
                         in this movie I found on the Internet.
 
                         
               
               [He plays the movie. The New York skyline of 2000 is displayed 
               on the screen, along with the title The Great Garbage Crisis 
               Of 2000.]
 
               
                                     NARRATOR
                          New York City: the year 2000. The most 
                         wasteful society in the history of the 
                         galaxy and it was running out of places 
                         to empty its never-ending output of 
                         garbage.  The landfills were full. New 
                         Jersey was full. And so, under cover 
                         of darkness, the city put its garbage 
                         out to sea on the world's largest barge. 
                          The repulsive barge circled the oceans 
                         for 50 years but no country would accept 
                         it. Not even that really filthy one. 
                         You know the one I mean. Finally, in 
                         2052, the city used its mob connections 
                         to obtain a rocket and launch the garbage 
                         into outer space. Some experts claim 
                         the ball might return to Earth someday, 
                         but their concerns were dismissed as 
                         "depressing".
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wow! You got that off the Internet? 
                         In my day the Internet was only used 
                         to download pornography.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Actually that's still true.

               
               [He resumes the movie.]

               
                                     FEMALE SCIENTIST
                          Now that the garbage is in space, doctor, 
                         perhaps you can help me with my sexual 
                         inhibitions.
 
               
                                     MALE SCIENTIST
                          With gusto!

               
               [They both strip down to their underwear. Leela turns the lights 
               back on. Fry groans.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         So that's the situation. Due to the 
                         short-sightedness of Old New York, New 
                         New York is going to be destroyed by 
                         a giant ball of garbage.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, what the hell were you people thinking 
                         back then? How could you just throw 
                         your garbage away?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey, hey, gimmie a break! What do you 
                         do with it?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         We recycle everything. Robots are made 
                         from old beer cans.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah! And this beer can is made outta 
                         old robots.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         And that sandwich you're eating is made 
                         of old discarded sandwiches.  Nothing 
                         just gets thrown away.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         The future is disgusting.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Typical 20th century attitude.

               
                                     FRY
                         Hey! You have no right to criticise 
                         the 20th century. We gave the world 
                         the lightbulb, the steamboat and the 
                         cotton gin.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Those things are all from the 19th century.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah, well, they probably just copied 
                         us.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Please! There's no time for this now. 
                         This is an emergency. We must warn the 
                         mayor.
 
               
               [Citihall: Mayor's Office. The Mayor, a short balding man in 
               a green suit, sits behind his desk.]
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious.
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         I gotta be sure this isn't another scientific 
                         fraud like global warming or second-hand 
                         smoke.  Send in my science advisor.
 
                         
               
               [Enter Wernstrom.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Wernstrom!

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Well, well, well! Come to present your 
                         latest napkin, Professor?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No, I'm here because a giant trash ball 
                         is heading straight for us. Smell for 
                         yourself.
 
               
               [Farnsworth wipes the Smellescope. Poopenmeyer sniffs and leaps 
               back.]
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Hey! Holy jeez!

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         That smell could be anything; A faulty 
                         stench coil, some cheese on the lens, 
                         who knows?
 
               
               [A woman walks in with a cassette player.]

               
                                     WOMAN
                         Mr. Mayor, we just got this transmission 
                         from Neptune.
 
               
                                     MAN
                          Giant...garbage ball.....passed close 
                         by...horrible stench......
 
               
                                     WOMAN
                         The transmission cuts out there, sir. 
                          No, I, guess it keeps going.
 
               
               [The voice chokes again. The message cuts out.]

               
                                     WOMAN
                         There we go.

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         My God! The senile old man is right.
 
                         
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Do you mean him or me?

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Him!

               
               [He points at Farnsworth. Wernstrom grumbles.]

               
               [New New York Street. People are crowded around a shop watching 
               TV's through the window. On the TV, two newscasters present a 
               report. One is a blonde human woman wearing a pink suit and the 
               other is an alien that looks like one from This Island Earth. 
               He has a huge green head with veins poking out of it and big 
               eyes.]
 
               
                                     LINDA
                          Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?
 
                         
               
                                     MORBO
                          Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings 
                         were shocked today to learn that a ball 
                         of garbage will destroy their pathetic 
                         city of New New York.
 
               
                                     LINDA
                          Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles.
 
                         
               
                                     MORBO
                          Morbo agrees!

               
               [They both laugh.]

               
               [Citihall: Mayor's Office. A large hologram of the garbage ball 
               is projected in the middle of the room. A military man is there 
               with the others.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Can't we just shoot a missile at it?
 
                         
               
                                     MILITARY MAN
                         We've simulated that on a supercomputer 
                         but the ball is just too damn gooey. 
                         A missile would go right through it.
 
                         
               
               [The hologram shows a missile squelching through the garbage 
               ball.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         But suppose we send a crew to plant 
                         an explosive precisely on the fault 
                         line betwen this mass of coffee grounds 
                         and this deposit of America Online floppy 
                         disks.
 
               
               [The simulation explodes.]

               
                                     MILITARY MAN
                         In theory, it could work.

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Uh, in theory, perhaps. But you'll never 
                         find a crew willing to take on a mission 
                         so suicidal-y dangerous.
 
               
               [Farnsworth smiles and looks at his crew.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, crap!

               
               [Planet Express: Hangar. The crew are assembled in front of the 
               ship.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Now, you'll only have one chance to 
                         destroy the ball. After that, it will 
                         be so close to Earth that blowing it 
                         up would cause garbage to rain over 
                         the entire planet, killing billions.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         (ironic) Oh, boo-hoo!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Now here's the bomb I've prepared. Once 
                         you activate it, you'll have 25 minutes 
                         to get away.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That's all? But --

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Now, now, there'll be plenty of time 
                         to discuss your objections when and 
                         if you return.
 
               
               [The crew suit up in orange spacesuits and walk towards the ship. 
               Fry and Leela carry their helmets under their arms and Bender 
               carries his head under his.]
 
               
               [The ship clears the atmosphere and flies towards the garbage 
               ball. It looks like the asteroid from Armageddon.]
 
               
               [Ships Cockpit.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Odour at magnitude 8.  Magnitude 12. 
                          Magnitude 31.  We're breaking up. Turn 
                         on the anti-smell device.
 
               
               [The sound of an air freshener goes off and the ship stops shaking.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm, sporty!

               
               [Garbage Ball Surface. The ship cruises in and lands. The steps 
               go down, the door opens and the crew look around.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wow!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Look at all this filth.

               
                                     FRY
                         It's not filth. It's a glorious monument 
                         to the achievements of the 20th century. 
                          Look! A real Beanie Baby.  Oh! A Mr. 
                         Spock collector's plate!  Some Bart 
                         Simpson dolls!
 
               
               [He runs over to a pile of them. Bender picks one up and pulls 
               the string.]
 
               
                                     DOLL
                         Eat my shorts!

               
                                     BENDER
                         OK  (à la Homer Simpson) Mmm! Shorts!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, this stuff was garbage when it 
                         was new. Let's blow it up already!
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         This junk isn't garbage! I can dig in 
                         any random pile and find something great.
 
                         
               
               [He digs in a pile and comes out with a six pack holder around 
               his neck, like a seagull. Leela cuts him free.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (gasping) Alright, let's get to work.
 
                         
               
               [Time Lapse. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Let's see. If that's Hypodermic Ridge 
                         then the bomb must go right here.  Get 
                         ready to run. We've got 25 minutes. 
                          Uh, 15 minutes.  5 minutes.  6h minutes?
 
                         
               
               [Bender pulls the bomb out of the ground. He turns it upside 
               down.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         There's your problem. The Professor 
                         put the counter on upside-down.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes, 
                         it was set for 52 seconds.
 
               
               [Fry screams.]

               
                                     FRY
                         We're gonna die! (calmly) Right?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Right!

               
               [Fry screams again.]

               
               [Time Lapse. The timer is at 19 seconds. Bender screams.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         It's gonna blow!

               
               [He throws it to Fry. Fry throws it back. Bender throws it at 
               Leela and it hits her helmet.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hey, watch it! You'll put somebody's 
                         eye out!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         OK, OK, keep your space pants on. I'll 
                         take care of this.
 
               
               [Bender throws the bomb into space but it hits a passing comet 
               and bounces back into his hands. He throws it up again and it 
               explodes. The crew sigh with relief.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         We're saved!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Yeah, but this garbage ball's unstoppable 
                         now. New New York is done for.
 
               
               [They watch as the garbage ball moves closer to Earth. Bender 
               scratches his butt.]
 
               
               [Outside Planet Express. A crowd of people stand on the street 
               with a banner saying "Welcome Home Heroes" with "Heroes" crossed 
               out and replaced with "Losers".]
 
               
               [Citihall: Mayor's Office.]

               
                                     LINDA
                          All in all, this is one day Mittens 
                         the kitten won't soon forget!
 
               
               [Morbo and Linda chuckle.]

               
                                     MORBO
                          Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter 
                         news, the city of New New York is doomed. 
                         Blame rests with known human Professor 
                         Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior 
                         brain.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, how could I have put that bomb timer 
                         on upside-down? I could swear I followed 
                         the manual precisely.  I'm a dried up 
                         husk of a scientist. This is all my 
                         fault.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         No, it's my fault too. I'm sure I threw 
                         out more than my share of that trash 
                         up there. Also, one month my toilet 
                         broke and it just went straight in the 
                         garbage can.  Leela was right. The people 
                         of the 20th century were idiotic slobs. 
                         Especially me.
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Enough! You all failed miserably. It's 
                         time to put a real scientist in charge.
 
                         
               
               [Enter Wernstrom.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Wernstrom!

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         The very same.

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?
 
                         
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Of course. But it'll cost you. First 
                         I'll need tenure.
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Done.

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         And a big research grant.

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         You got it.

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         Also, access to a lab and five graduate 
                         students, at least three of them Chinese.
 
                         
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Um, alright done. What's your plan?
 
                         
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         What plan? I'm set for life! Au revoir, 
                         suckers!
 
               
               [He walks out.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         That rat! Do something!

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         I wish I could but, he's got tenure!
 
                         
               
               [New New York Street. People stop and stare into the sky as a 
               hamburger and other pieces of garbage plow through buildings. 
               A fish skeleton falls in front of Zoidberg. He checks to see 
               no one is looking and eats it.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Citihall: Mayor's Office. A pizza slice splats against 
               the window.]
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         It's time to take action.  Stephanie, 
                         cancel the maid for today. Have her 
                         come tomorrow.  Well, I'm out of ideas. 
                         Anyone?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Wait! If we could build an object the 
                         exact size, density and consistency 
                         of the garbage ball, it might just knock 
                         the ball away without smashing it to 
                         bits.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         But where can we find a substance the 
                         exact density and consistency as garbage?
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Alas, I don't know.

               
                                     FRY
                         Uh, what about garbage?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Good Lord! A second ball of garbage! 
                         That just might work!
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         But garbage isn't something you just 
                         find lying in the streets of Manhattan. 
                         This city's been garbage-free for 500 
                         years!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Then it's time to make some more.

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Make garbage? But how?

               
                                     FRY
                         Stand back and watch the master! This 
                         Slurm can.  Now it's garbage. These 
                         papers.  Garbage. This picture of your 
                         wife.  Pure garbage. Now you try it.
 
                         
               
               [Poopenmeyer picks up a pencil and drops it on the floor.]

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         By God, I think the boy's got something. 
                         Come on, everyone! The fate of the city 
                         is at stake!
 
               
               [He turns a chair on it's side.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Good!  Don't finish that cruller, throw 
                         it away  Bender. Drink that beer and 
                         drop the bottle on the ground.  Very 
                         nice.
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Get that robot some more beer!  We've 
                         trashed this room but that's just the 
                         start. We've got to get Fry's message 
                         to the people.
 
               
               [Woman's Kitchen. Fry is on TV.]

               
                                     FRY
                          People of New New York. Take a lesson 
                         from the 20th century. Stop all this 
                         pain-in-the-ass recycling and throw 
                         your garbage on the floor.
 
               
               [The woman scrapes her food onto the floor.]

               
               [Man's Living Room.]

               
                                     FRY
                          Go ahead. Just chuck it any old place 
                         like I used to. Your city is counting 
                         on you.
 
               
               [The man empties his cats litter tray out of the window.]

               
               [Printing Press. The newspapers are printed with the headline 
               "City Urged To Litter!" and the conveyor belt dumps them outside 
               the building.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Printing Press. They land in a heap and are 
               bulldozed away.]
 
               
               [Launch Pad. The new garbage ball has been stuck on top of a 
               rocket. ]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         If my calculations are correct, this 
                         garbage ball will knock the other garbage 
                         ball directly into the sun.
 
               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         And if my calculations are correct, 
                         we're all going to die horribly.
 
               
               [He laughs then realises what he's said.]

               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         Alright, places everyone. Prepare for 
                         launch.
 
               
               [Farnsworth counts down.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Five, four, three, two, three, four, 
                         five, six...
 
               
                                     LEELA
                          Just fire the damn thing.

               
               [Fry tries to push the button but misses it.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Oops!

               
               [He pushes it again. The rocket takes off and heads towards the 
               other garbage ball. Fry's heart beats. Farnsworth's heart beats, 
               but a lot slower than Fry's. Bender's "heart" beats like a drum.]
 
               
               
               [In space, the new garbage ball hits the old one and knocks it 
               away from the Earth. It slingshots around several planets and 
               flies into the sun.
 
               
               [Launch Pad. Farnsworth sniffs through the Smellescope.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Burning garbage!

               
                                     FRY
                         It worked!

               
               [Everyone except Wernstrom cheers.]

               
               [Outside Citihall. The Mayor and the Planet Express crew are 
               standing on the steps. Poopenmeyer is finishing a speech.]
 
               
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         And so, on behalf of the entire city, 
                         I thank you, Professor Farnsworth. I 
                         now present you with the Academy prize, 
                         which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom 
                         after it became apparent that he was 
                         a jackass.
 
               
               [He hands Farnsworth the trophy.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Yes! In your face, Wernstrom!

               
                                     WERNSTROM
                         I'll get you, Farnsworth. Even if it 
                         takes me another hundred years.
 
               
               [He and his five graduate students - three of them Chinese - 
               shake their fists.]
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt 
                         as well. If not for your 20th century 
                         garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried 
                         under 20th century garbage.
 
               
               [The crowd cheers.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Should we really be celebrating? I mean, 
                         what if the second garbage ball returns 
                         to Earth like the first one did?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Who cares? That won't be for hundreds 
                         of years.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Exactly! It's none of our concern.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         That's the 20th century spirit!

               
               [He and Farnsworth hold the award up and the crowd cheers and 
               applauds.]
 
               
               [Closing Credits. We'll Meet Again from the film Dr Strangelove 
               Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb plays over 
               them.]
 
               

A Big Piece Of Garbage



Writers :   Lewis Morton
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


User Comments







Index    |    Submit    |    Links    |    Link to us    |    RSS Feeds    |    Disclaimer    |    Privacy policy