FUTURAMA
Episode 201
"A FLIGHT TO REMEMBER"
By
Eric Horsted
Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
[The ship flies towards Earth, towards the Planet Express building.
The landing gear comes down and the ship lands.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The crew walk out. Their hair
is ruffled, their clothes are torn and dirty.]
LEELA
That was the worst delivery ever.
FRY
Yeah. I'm never going to another planet
called Cannibalon!
BENDER
Me neither. (upbeat) Food was good,
though.
[Cut to: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth is sat at the
table, drinking from a cup. He turns around when the crew walk
in.]
FARNSWORTH
Oh, great news, everyone.
BENDER
Shove it! We quit!
FARNSWORTH
In that case I'll have to hire a new
crew to go on our company vacation.
LEELA
Vacation?
BENDER
Alright!
[He and Fry high five.]
FRY
This is great! I haven't had time off
since I was 21 through 24.
[They sit down.]
FARNSWORTH
It's just my way of thanking you for
not reporting my countless violations
of safety and minimum wage laws.
BENDER
Aww, you!
[He knocks Farnsworth affectionately on the shoulder.]
FARNSWORTH
I've booked us all on the maiden voyage
of the largest, most luxurious space
cruise ship ever built. The Titanic!
[The Titanic is a futuristic space version of the RMS Titanic,
with bubble domes and rocket engines. And rings, of course.]
LEELA
Looks nice.
[Ominous music. They carry on staring at the brochure ... unaware.]
[Opening Credits. Caption: Filmed On Location.]
[A huge spaceport sits high above the skyline of New New York.
The rotating disc on top indicates it is South Street Spaceport.]
[Cut to: South Street Spaceport Departures. The whole crew emerges
from the travel tubes in the departure area which looks similar
to that of an airport.]
FRY
Hey, uh, where's my suitcase? Ow!
[South Street Spaceport. The huge Titanic sits moored to the
port and Mayor Poopenmeyer gives a speech.]
POOPENMEYER
As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure
to introduce the honorary captain for
the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who
single-handedly defeated the Retiree
People of the Assisted Living Nebula:
Zapp Brannigan!
[Zapp walks forward and waves to the crowd. They cheer and applaud.]
LEELA
Oh, God! Not Zapp Brannigan!
ZOIDBERG
You know Zapp Brannigan?
LEELA
Let's just say we've "crossed paths".
BENDER
Was that before or after you slept with
him?
[Zapp looks at the Titanic.]
ZAPP
She's a beautiful ship alright. Shapely,
seductive. I'm gonna fly her brains
out. And now, without further adieu,
I christen this ship, Titanic.
[Kif hands him Leonardo DiCaprio's head in a jar. Zapp smashes
it against the side of the ship. DiCaprio's head bounces away.
The crowd applauds and cheers.]
[Time Lapse. Passengers are now boarding via old-style gangways.
Zapp personally welcomes passengers. He sees the Planet Express
crew and Leela walking up the gangway.]
ZAPP
Well, well, well! The Lady Leela. Take
notes, Kif. You're about to witness
the subtle waltz known as seduction.
So, trapped on a ship with me. What
say you and I knock some very sensual
boots?
LEELA
It's tempting, but, uh, I have a fiancé
now. Uh, hmm, uh, hmm, uh, we--, uh
... Him! Fry, darling, meet Zapp Brannigan.
FRY
Huh? Ooh! How do you do?
[He shakes Zapp's hand. Zapp narrows his eyes at Fry.]
[The Titanic leaves port honking its horn to the cheering crowds.
It flies away from Earth and off into space.]
[Titanic First Class Corridor. The crew walk across polished
floors and past a grand wooden staircase straight out of the
film Titanic. They walk through another corridor.]
FARNSWORTH
Ah, here's my stateroom.
[He walks in, followed by everyone else. Bender suddenly sees
something and stops and purrs. He zooms in on a well-dressed
Fembot and she does the same. He zooms in further and his eyes
fall out. He scrambles around the floor for them.]
BENDER
Come on, where is it? Ohh!
[Titanic First Class State Room. Everyone, especially Fry, seems
settled in in the room's plush furnishings.]
FARNSWORTH
Now, Hermes, you and your lovely wife
LaBarbara have the suite through there.
And Dr. Zoidberg, your marble tank is
on the other side.
[Fry bounces on a green chair.]
FRY
Man, first class seems nice!
FARNSWORTH
It'll seem even nicer once you've seen
your room.
[He hands Amy a key.]
[Titanic First Class Deck. Amy, Leela, Bender and Fry stand waiting
for the elevator.]
AMY
Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck.
[The elevator door opens.]
[Cut to: Titanic Elevator. Amy presses a button and the elevator
goes down. Past second class where there are lots of t-shirt
wearing tourists with fat children and cameras. Past steerage
where there are lots of stereotypical Irish people. Past laundry
which is already filled with clothes. Past the bowels of the
ship where men shovel coal into furnaces. It stops at the Fiesta
deck and the doors opens to a dank, dripping corridor.]
[Titanic Fiesta Deck Corridor. The crew emerge from the elevator.]
LEELA
This is it.
[She opens the door and groans.]
[Cut to: Titanic Fiesta Deck Room. The room is dank room with
leaky pipes and four camp beds along the side.]
FRY
Well at least we get a window!
[He pulls a blind up and is blasted in the face with reactor
fumes.]
BENDER
Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone
in it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna
pop over to the casino for the next
135 hours!
[He leaves.]
AMY
I think I'll go and fill up on bisque
at the buffet.
[She closes the door as she leaves.]
FRY
I guess that just leaves you and your
fake fiancé ... all alone ... on a romatic
cruise.
[He puts his arm around her.]
LEELA
Take it off or I'll break it off.
FRY
OK!
[He takes his arm from around her. Zapp opens the door.]
ZAPP
Captain's inspection!
[Leela puts Fry's arm back around her and smiles weakly.]
[Titanic Casino. Bender already looks settled in, standing at
a craps table.]
BENDER
Hmm. I'm bettin' it all! Come on,
baby needs a new pair of feet!
[He rolls the dice.]
CROUPIER
Snake eyes.
[He rakes in the chips.]
BENDER
No! My cheating unit malfunctioned!
You gotta give me a do-over!
CROUPIER
Sorry, the house limit is three do-overs.
Next shooter.
[Bender takes a seat at the bar and sighs.]
BENDER
Gimmie you're biggest, strongest, cheapest
drink.
[The bartender, iZac, turns around.]
IZAC
You got it!
[He fills a bucket. Bender turns around and sees the Fembot from
earlier. He gasps and walks over to introduce himself.]
BENDER
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bender.
COUNTESS
Charmed. I'm the Countess de la Roca.
I was surprised to see another robot
staying in first class. Most of the
robots I meet are labourers.
BENDER
I assure you, I barely know the meaning
of the word "labour".
[The Countess laughs.]
COUNTESS
Oh, Mr. Bender!
BENDER
Please, call me Bender.
[He kisses her hand.]
COUNTESS
(embarrassed) Oh, goodness. I don't--
[As he kisses her, he reaches around and takes some money from
her purse.]
[Titanic Wheel Room. Zapp stands in front of an old-fashioned
sailing wheel. Kif emerges from a washroom.]
ZAPP
Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.
KIF
I'll get the powder, sir.
ZAPP
No, the itch for adventure! Prepare
to change course.
KIF
Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path
was set by the travel agency.
[He presses a button and a map comes down on the wall showing
the route is a straight line from Earth to another planet.]
ZAPP
That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a
route with some chest hair.
[He squiggles a new course onto the map.]
KIF
But that course leads directly through
a swarm of comets.
ZAPP
Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky.
By jackknifing from one to the next
at breakneck speed we might just get
some kind of gravity boost ... or something.
It's time to shove a jalapeño up this
ship's tailpipe. Divert power from
the shields, full speed ahead!
[Titanic Buffet. Amy is dishing up a bowlful of bisque.]
AMY
Oh yeah--!
[She turns around and gasps and drops the bowl when she sees
her parents.]
MRS. WONG
Amy! Hello!
AMY
Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?
MR WONG
We were planning on enjoying a relaxing
vacation. But since you're here, we'll
have to do some meddling.
MRS WONG
We met the nicest boy in the cabin next
to ours.
MR WONG
He's not very ugly.
MRS WONG
You should marry him! Or at least use
him to conceive a grandchild for us.
MR WONG
There he is at the buffet!
[He points at a large man leaning over the sneeze guard and dipping
his finger in the bisque to taste it.]
AMY
Uh, he seems really nice but, well,
I already have a boyfriend.
MRS WONG
Really? Where is he?
MR WONG
And why isn't he here right now fathering
our grandchild?
AMY
Uh ...
[Titanic Deck. Fry and Leela are outside, looking at the stars.]
LEELA
Well, our accommodations aren't great
but it sure is beautiful our here.
FRY
Yeah, it's pretty romantic-- Uh, I mean
platonic. Th-That sure is one platonic
view!
LEELA
Fry, just be quiet. I'm beginning to
think this whole fake fiancé thing was
a terrible, terrible--
[She turns and gasps, then grabs Fry and kisses him.]
FRY
Hmm? Mmmm!
ZAPP
Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time
but if things don't work out with this
pipsqueak here ... ... I just want
you to know I'll be there to score you
on the rebound.
[He walks away, humming. Leela stops kissing Fry.]
LEELA
Uh, look, before you get any crazy ideas,
that was for Zapp.
FRY
Well, you got anything else for him?
LEELA
Alright, can we try not to complicate
this?
[Enter Amy and her parents.]
AMY
Mom, Dad. I'd like you to meet Fry,
my boyfriend.
[She kisses him.]
FRY
Hmm? Mmmm!
[Time Lapse. Later, the crew relax in swimsuits by the swimming.
Leela lies on a sunbed wearing a green swimsuit with a hole around
the navel. Fry says goodbye to fake girlfriend #2.]
FRY
See you later, wuvvums!
[He kisses Amy and she leaves with her parents. He sits on a
sunbed next to Leela.]
LEELA
It would have been nice if you'd told
me you were going out with Amy.
FRY
I'm not going out with Amy. It's just
to fool her parents. Hey, you're not
jealous, are you?
LEELA
What? No. No! Of course not!
FRY
Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship
with you a lot more meaningful.
[Leela grunts.]
[Countess de la Roca's Room.]
COUNTESS
Mind if I freshen up a bit before we
go out?
BENDER
I was just about to suggest the same
thing. Pay dirt!
[He is about to put it in his chest cabinet but he hesitates.
The Countess is behind him.]
COUNTESS
Lovely, isn't it?
BENDER
Yeah. But only 93% as lovely as you.
[He puts it on her wrist.]
COUNTESS
Oh, Bender! Either that was a computing
error or you're the most romantic robot
I've ever met!
[Bender smirks.]
[Titanic Casino. Bender watches the Countess play a fruit machine
while he sits at the bar.]
BENDER
I don't get it, iZac: That bracelet
had a diamond the size of a racoon's
brain. Why couldn't I steal it?
IZAC
It's obvious, Mr. B, you're in love.
BENDER
Oh, it's true. But we're star-crossed
robots. She, a countess built with a
silver spoon in her mouth. And me, just
a regular honest Joe.
[He walks off with the drinks.]
IZAC
Hey, you gonna pay for those?
BENDER
Hell, no!
[iZac presses something on his body and it beeps.]
IZAC
Security to bar area. Security to bar
area.
[Two robot security guards rise from the floor and grab Bender.]
BENDER
Fellas, please. I'm in love!
IZAC
Rough him up!
[The security guards punch Bender. The Countess intervenes.]
COUNTESS
What are you doing?
IZAC
This penniless chump was stealing drinks,
ma'am.
COUNTESS
I see. Here you are, sir ... ... keep
the change.
IZAC
You got it!
[The security guards punch Bender a couple more times then go
back into the floor. Bender looks away from the Countess, ashamed.]
[Titanic Deck. The crew, Kif and the fat man are limboing. Zoidberg
clears the pole.]
ZOIDBERG
Aha!
[Farnsworth has a go.]
FRY
Go, Professor!
AMY
Lean back more!
[Farnsworth smacks straight into the pole.]
FARNSWORTH
Ow!
[Hermes and LaBarbara stand away from the game.]
LABARBARA
Come on, Hermes, you could out-limbo
all of these people!
HERMES
Don't be a dog heart, woman. You know
I can't. Not after what happened.
[Flashback. It's the 2980 Olympics. Hermes, representing Earth,
is warming up ready for his limbo.]
ANNOUNCER
Now limboing for the Earth team: Hermes
Conrad.
[As Hermes warms up, a boy in the crowd wearing a Hermes t-shirt
shouts to him.]
BOY
(shouting) You're my hero, Hermes! I'm
gonna be just like you!
[He jumps out of the stand and runs towards the limbo stick.]
HERMES
No, boy, stop! It's too low! Your backbone
can't take it!
[The boys starts to lean back.]
BOY
I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like--
[His back cracks, the crowd gasps and Hermes winces.]
HERMES
(screaming) Nooo!
[Flashback ends. Hermes is crying. LaBarbara pats him on the
back.]
LABARBARA
There, there. Now you don't have to
limbo if you don't want. It doesn't
make you any less of a man.
FARNSWORTH
Though it did get me some action!
[Hattie hangs onto his arm.]
HATTIE
I like a man who's flexible!
[Enter Zapp.]
ZAPP
Your attention, please. As captain of
this vessel, the terrible burden of
naming a limbo contest winner is mine
and mine alone.
KIF
Shouldn't you be steering between the
comets?
ZAPP
And the winner is, Leela!
[The crowd applauds and turns to Leela, who is still sat on her
sunbed.]
LEELA
But I didn't even limbo.
ZAPP
No matter. I know from personal experience
how horizontal you can get. As your
reward, you and that hairpile are invited
to dine at the captain's table this
evening.
[Fry hoots.]
[Time Lapse. Bender and the Countess lean over the rail on the
deck.]
BENDER
Well, now you know. I'm not actually
rich. I'm a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy
fraud. This isn't even a real bow-tie
-- it's magnetic.
[He takes the bow-tie off and throws it against the wall where
it sticks.]
COUNTESS
Bender, I don't care whether you have
money. I love you for your artificial
intelligence and your sincerity simulator.
BENDER
You do? Really?
[The Countess nods. She and Bender kiss.]
[Montage: In some scenes lifted from Titanic the Countess lies
on a sofa naked. Bender's finger makes printer noises as he draws
her. He shows her the picture which looks like circuit diagrams.
At tthe bow of the ship he holds her up at the railings but she
is so heavy she ends up breaking his arms off. In the Titanic's
hold they climb into an old hovercar and literally make sparks.]
[Titanic Buffet. A sign advertises "All You Can Eat Plus A Whole
Chicken". Fry, Leela, Farnsworth and Hattie sit with Zapp around
the captain's table wearing formal evening wear. Zapp wears a
formal off-white DOOP jacket with medals.]
ZAPP
I like your style, Fry. You remind me
of a young me. Not much younger, mind
you. Perhaps even a couple of years
older.
FRY
Thank you, sir.
ZAPP
As a gentleman, I must warn you. If
you so much as glance at another woman,
I'll be all over Leela like a fly on
a pile of very seductive manure.
FRY
Well, rest assured, Leela's the only
girl for me.
[Enter the Wongs.]
AMY
Hey, Fry.
LEELA
Amy!
AMY
Leela!
[Amy has brought her parents. They sit down.]
ZAPP
Ah, the family Wong. Our party is complete.
[Fry, Leela and Amy lean into each other and whisper to each
other.]
LEELA
(whispering) What are we gonna do? Fry
can't pretend to be both our boyfriends.
FRY
(whispering) Sure I can. I learned how
to handle delicate social situations
from a little show called Three's Company.
[Zapp taps his glass.]
ZAPP
I'd like to impose a toast on the happy
couple. Down the hatch!
MRS WONG
Hear, hear! Now lets have a kiss!
ZAPP
Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman.
FRY
Um, let me think. Come and knock on
our door, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Uh,
Mr Roper--
[Mr Wong thumps the table.]
MR WONG
What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter
already!
FARNSWORTH
Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry,
which one of these ladies are you involved
with?
FRY
Uh ...
[He hums the theme to Three's Company again. Enter Kif.]
KIF
Captain, may I have a word with you?
ZAPP
No.
KIF
It's an emergency, sir.
ZAPP
Come back when it's a catasrophe. Oh,
very well.
[He leaves with Kif.]
AMY
Well, with Zapp gone and my parents
still here, I suggest Fry give me a
nice, convincing kiss.
FRY
Ah, now there's something we can all
enjoy.
[He and Amy kiss. Leela grunts and turns away.]
[Titanic Wheel Room. The comets outside fly very close to the
ship.]
KIF
Sir, remember your course correction?
ZAPP
No.
KIF
Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal
than we'd initially hoped.
ZAPP
Kif, old friend, I don't know which
disgusts me more: Your cowardice or
your stupidity! We'll simply set a new
course for that empty region over there.
Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.
[He points at the black-ish hole-ish thing and grins. Kif's jaw
drops.]
[Titanic Deck. Fry emerges from a room. Leela is standing looking
over the railing.]
FRY
Hey, Leela, why'd you run off from dinner?
LEELA
I didn't run off. I had plenty of time
to finish eating and stroll away while
you were kissing Amy.
FRY
Oh, look, I'm not actually interested
in her if that's what's bothering you.
LEELA
Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two
eyes, you have two eyes.
FRY
I know, we seem like a perfect match,
but I just don't feel that way about
her.
[The Titanic drifts past a nebula.]
LEELA
Nice nebula.
FRY
Yeah.
[They look down at the couples on the decks below: Hermes and
LaBarbara, Bender and the Countess, Mr and Mrs Wong, Dr Zoidberg
and a jellyfish thing and Farnsworth and Hattie.]
LEELA
Look's like everybody's got somebody.
Except me.
FRY
And me.
[They gaze into each other's eyes and lean in to kiss. The ship
shakes, Leela loses her balance, head butts Fry and they both
fall over.]
LEELA
What was that? Oh, my God! We're heading
straight into a black hole.
FRY
Talk about a mood killer!
[Titanic Wheel Room.]
ZAPP
Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed
from the start. Nothing remains now
but for the captain to go down with
his ship.
KIF
Why, that's surprisingly noble of you,
sir.
ZAPP
No, it's noble of you, Kif! As of now
... ... you're in command. Congratulations,
captain!
[He runs off and hops into an escape pod and flies away. Kif
sighs.]
[Titanic Deck. People are running about in a panic. The crew
look at a map of the Titanic.]
LEELA
OK. We just have to get from here to
the escape pods.
["Here" is the front of the ship. The escape pods are located
at the back. The map breaks is half and the ship itself begins
to tear in half.]
FARNSWORTH
(shouting) I'm too young to die!
LEELA
Come on, before its too late!
BENDER
You all go without me. I'm gonna take
one last look around. You know, for,
uh, stuff to steal.
FRY
You're going back or the Countess, aren't
you?
[Bender pulls Fry aside.]
BENDER
(whispering) Alright, I am. But I don't
want the others to know. If I don't
come back, just say I died robbing some
old man.
FRY
I'll tell them you went out prying the
wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
BENDER
I love you, buddy!
[Bender hugs Fry then runs off.]
[Cut to: Titanic Casino. The fruit machines and tables are overturned,
fires burn and there is a huge hole in the middle of the floor.
Bender runs in to the room.]
BENDER
(shouting) Countess? Countess?
Countess (shouting) Bender!
[Bender looks around and sees the Countess's hat by the hole.
He rushes over and peers into the hole. The Countess is trapped
in a burning room. She is huddled in a corner away from the flames.]
COUNTESS
(shouting) I fell through the deck.
BENDER
(shouting) Are you hurt, my sweet?
COUNTESS
(shouting) No. Luckily a family broke
my fall.
BENDER
Just hang on! I'll take care of that
fire!
[He grabs a fire hose and jumps through the hole.]
[Cut to: Titanic Room. Bender lands in the middle of the room
and sprays the flames with water, extinguishing the fire. He
leaves the hose and hugs the Countess.]
COUNTESS
Bender, you risked your life to save
me.
BENDER
And I'd do it again. And perhaps a third
time. But that would be it. When we
kiss, I feel like I'm standing waist
deep in a pool of cold, rising water.
[They both look down and see they are standing waist deep in
a pool of cold, rising water. They scream and shout as it gets
closer to their heads.]
[Titanic Corridor. The crew run around a corner. Fry is carrying
Farnsworth on his back.]
LEELA
Hurry! The escape pods should be just
ahead!
HERMES
(gasping) Faster!
[There is a crash and the emergency airlock begins to close.
The crew rush forward to get under it. Zoidberg dives and wedges
his claw under it. It stops moving. Leela tries to lift it.]
LEELA
It won't move. And the door release
is on the other side.
FRY
Then we're dead meat. No one could squeeze
under there!
[Hermes steps forward.]
HERMES
No one, except a legendary limbo champion.
[He tears his tux off, revealing his Earth team vest underneath.]
LABARBARA
Oh, Hermes!
[Hermes leans back and his back creaks.]
HERMES
Ooh! It's been a while. This one is
for that little kid who's limboing up
in heaven right now.
[LaBarbara pulls a food trolley in front of her and starts playing
a dish cover with some spoons. Hermes squeezes under the door.
The others cheer.]
LABARBARA
That's my man, alright, baby, limbo!
HERMES
I still got the moves! Zoidberg, lower
the door another inch.
LABARBARA
Just go on through and hit the release,
you hot dog!
HERMES
Yes, dear.
[The door slides up. They all cheer and rush through.]
LABARBARA
That's my man!
AMY
Yay, Hermes!
HERMES
Uh, can somebody help me up?
[Titanic Room. The water rises and completely covers the robots.
They stop screaming.]
COUNTESS
Well, now what are we going to do?
BENDER
Wait a second. Aren't you a member of
the yacht club?
COUNTESS
By God, you're right! I'm a class-3
yacht.
[A propellor comes out from under her. Bender hops on and they
rise to the surface.]
[Titanic Deck. Passengers are boarding the escape pods.]
FARNSWORTH
Thank God there are plenty of escape
pods; We won't have to dress up like
women and children.
[He takes his hat off and throws his lolly down. He and the others
run into the escape pod. Leela and Fry stop outside.]
LEELA
We can't leave yet. We've got to wait
for Bender. The high gravity must be
slowing down his looting.
[Amy's parents walk out onto the deck.]
MRS WONG
Amy!
AMY
Mom? Dad? You're alive!
MR WONG
Yeah but so what? The important thing
is we found you a new man.
MRS WONG
A captain.
AMY
Uh, Mom, I don't-- Hi!
KIF
(sexfully) Hello!
[Kif picks Amy up and carries her to the escape pod. They kiss.]
[Cut to: Escape Pod. The ship begins to twist and distort.]
FARNSWORTH
I don't feel well!
[His head twists around like a squishy goo.]
[Cut to: Titanic Deck. Fry points at something in space.]
FRY
Look! It's our nebula. Whenever I see
it I'll think back to that moment when
we almost-- Never mind!
[Hermes pokes his head out of the escape pod.]
HERMES
Everyone else is off the ship. Where
in Babylon is Bender?
LEELA
I don't know. But we can't wait any
longer.
[She gets into the pod and Fry follows. He looks back at the
ship.]
FRY
Goodbye, Bender.
[He closes the hatch. Bender and the Countess run out of the
ship panting.]
BENDER
(shouting) Wait for us!
[The escape pod lifts off and the airlock between it and the
Titanic deck seals. Bender and the Countess leap from the deck,
smashing through the glass airlock.]
[Cut to: Outside Escape Pod. Bender and the Countess float towards
the pod and Bender reaches out his hand.]
[Cut to: Escape pod. It rocks as Bender grabs hold. Everyone
is sat along the length of the pod and Leela steers.]
LEELA
Something's wrong. We're two metric
tons overweight.
AMY
Well, its not me!
[Fry looks out of the airlock window.]
FRY
Look!
[Everyone looks out the window to see Bender and the Countess.
[Cut to: Outside Escape Pod. The Titanic creaks and is sucked
into the black hole. The escape pod starts to drift back towards
it.]
COUNTESS
I'm slipping, Bender. The pull is too
strong!
[She slips from Bender's grasp but he grabs on to her bracelet.
It's all that holds them together. She screams.]
BENDER
I can't live without you. If you let
go, I let go!
COUNTESS
No! You have too much to live for. It
may hurt for a while but one day you'll
share your love again. After all, it's
shareware.
BENDER
Don't talk like that. Tragic romances
always have a happy ending.
[The bracelet snaps and the Countess falls towards the black
hole.]
COUNTESS
(shouting) Farewell!
[The black hole sucks her in.]
BENDER
Nooo!
[Cut to: Escape Pod. Bender walks in and closes the airlock behind
him.]
BENDER
She's gone.
LEELA
But she saved all our lives. Without
her, we're light enough to get away.
[Bender slams his head against the airlock and cries.]
FRY
Don't cry, Bender. Nobody really knows
what happens in a black hole. It's possible
she's still alive in another dimension
somewhere. Right, Professor?
FARNSWORTH
Oh, yes, absolutely! Not a chance!
[He draws his finger across his neck and mimes being hung.]
BENDER
At least I'll always have her bracelet!
What do you think it's worth?
[Hermes takes a look at it.]
HERMES
It's fake, mon!
[Bender cries as the the pod flies away into space.]
THE END
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