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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 201 

                                 "A FLIGHT TO REMEMBER"

                                           By

                                      Eric Horsted

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet

                

               [The ship flies towards Earth, towards the Planet Express building. 
               The landing gear comes down and the ship lands.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The crew walk out. Their hair 
               is ruffled, their clothes are torn and dirty.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That was the worst delivery ever.

               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah. I'm never going to another planet 
                         called Cannibalon!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Me neither. (upbeat) Food was good, 
                         though.
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth is sat at the 
               table, drinking from a cup. He turns around when the crew walk 
               in.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, great news, everyone.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Shove it! We quit!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         In that case I'll have to hire a new 
                         crew to go on our company vacation.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Vacation?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Alright!

               
               [He and Fry high five.]

               
                                     FRY
                         This is great! I haven't had time off 
                         since I was 21 through 24.
 
               
               [They sit down.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         It's just my way of thanking you for 
                         not reporting my countless violations 
                         of safety and minimum wage laws.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Aww, you!

               
               [He knocks Farnsworth affectionately on the shoulder.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I've booked us all on the maiden voyage 
                         of the largest, most luxurious space 
                         cruise ship ever built.  The Titanic!
 
                         
               
               [The Titanic is a futuristic space version of the RMS Titanic, 
               with bubble domes and rocket engines. And rings, of course.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Looks nice.

               
               [Ominous music. They carry on staring at the brochure ... unaware.]
 
               
               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Filmed On Location.]

               
               [A huge spaceport sits high above the skyline of New New York. 
               The rotating disc on top indicates it is South Street Spaceport.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: South Street Spaceport Departures. The whole crew emerges 
               from the travel tubes in the departure area which looks similar 
               to that of an airport.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey, uh, where's my suitcase?  Ow!
 
                         
               
               [South Street Spaceport. The huge Titanic sits moored to the 
               port and Mayor Poopenmeyer gives a speech.]
 
               
                                     POOPENMEYER
                         As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure 
                         to introduce the honorary captain for 
                         the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who 
                         single-handedly defeated the Retiree 
                         People of the Assisted Living Nebula: 
                         Zapp Brannigan!
 
               
               [Zapp walks forward and waves to the crowd. They cheer and applaud.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh, God! Not Zapp Brannigan!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         You know Zapp Brannigan?

               
                                     LEELA
                         Let's just say we've "crossed paths".
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Was that before or after you slept with 
                         him?
 
               
               [Zapp looks at the Titanic.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         She's a beautiful ship alright. Shapely, 
                         seductive. I'm gonna fly her brains 
                         out.  And now, without further adieu, 
                         I christen this ship, Titanic.
 
               
               [Kif hands him Leonardo DiCaprio's head in a jar. Zapp smashes 
               it against the side of the ship. DiCaprio's head bounces away. 
               The crowd applauds and cheers.]
 
               
               [Time Lapse. Passengers are now boarding via old-style gangways. 
               Zapp personally welcomes passengers. He sees the Planet Express 
               crew and Leela walking up the gangway.]
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         Well, well, well! The Lady Leela. Take 
                         notes, Kif. You're about to witness 
                         the subtle waltz known as seduction. 
                          So, trapped on a ship with me. What 
                         say you and I knock some very sensual 
                         boots?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         It's tempting, but, uh, I have a fiancé 
                         now. Uh, hmm, uh, hmm, uh, we--, uh 
                         ...  Him! Fry, darling, meet Zapp Brannigan.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Huh?  Ooh! How do you do?

               
               [He shakes Zapp's hand. Zapp narrows his eyes at Fry.]

               
               [The Titanic leaves port honking its horn to the cheering crowds. 
               It flies away from Earth and off into space.]
 
               
               [Titanic First Class Corridor. The crew walk across polished 
               floors and past a grand wooden staircase straight out of the 
               film Titanic. They walk through another corridor.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ah, here's my stateroom.

               
               [He walks in, followed by everyone else. Bender suddenly sees 
               something and stops and purrs. He zooms in on a well-dressed 
               Fembot and she does the same. He zooms in further and his eyes 
               fall out. He scrambles around the floor for them.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Come on, where is it?  Ohh!

               
               [Titanic First Class State Room. Everyone, especially Fry, seems 
               settled in in the room's plush furnishings.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Now, Hermes, you and your lovely wife 
                         LaBarbara have the suite through there. 
                         And Dr. Zoidberg, your marble tank is 
                         on the other side.
 
               
               [Fry bounces on a green chair.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Man, first class seems nice!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         It'll seem even nicer once you've seen 
                         your room.
 
               
               [He hands Amy a key.]

               
               [Titanic First Class Deck. Amy, Leela, Bender and Fry stand waiting 
               for the elevator.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck.
 
                         
               
               [The elevator door opens.]

               
               [Cut to: Titanic Elevator. Amy presses a button and the elevator 
               goes down. Past second class where there are lots of t-shirt 
               wearing tourists with fat children and cameras. Past steerage 
               where there are lots of stereotypical Irish people. Past laundry 
               which is already filled with clothes. Past the bowels of the 
               ship where men shovel coal into furnaces. It stops at the Fiesta 
               deck and the doors opens to a dank, dripping corridor.]
 
               
               [Titanic Fiesta Deck Corridor. The crew emerge from the elevator.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         This is it.

               
               [She opens the door and groans.]

               
               [Cut to: Titanic Fiesta Deck Room. The room is dank room with 
               leaky pipes and four camp beds along the side.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Well at least we get a window!

               
               [He pulls a blind up and is blasted in the face with reactor 
               fumes.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone 
                         in it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna 
                         pop over to the casino for the next 
                         135 hours!
 
               
               [He leaves.]

               
                                     AMY
                         I think I'll go and fill up on bisque 
                         at the buffet.
 
               
               [She closes the door as she leaves.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I guess that just leaves you and your 
                         fake fiancé ... all alone ... on a romatic 
                         cruise.
 
               
               [He puts his arm around her.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Take it off or I'll break it off.

               
                                     FRY
                         OK!

               
               [He takes his arm from around her. Zapp opens the door.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Captain's inspection!

               
               [Leela puts Fry's arm back around her and smiles weakly.]

               
               [Titanic Casino. Bender already looks settled in, standing at 
               a craps table.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Hmm.  I'm bettin' it all!  Come on, 
                         baby needs a new pair of feet!
 
               
               [He rolls the dice.]

               
                                     CROUPIER
                         Snake eyes.

               
               [He rakes in the chips.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         No! My cheating unit malfunctioned! 
                         You gotta give me a do-over!
 
               
                                     CROUPIER
                         Sorry, the house limit is three do-overs. 
                         Next shooter.
 
               
               [Bender takes a seat at the bar and sighs.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Gimmie you're biggest, strongest, cheapest 
                         drink.
 
               
               [The bartender, iZac, turns around.]

               
                                     IZAC
                         You got it!

               
               [He fills a bucket. Bender turns around and sees the Fembot from 
               earlier. He gasps and walks over to introduce himself.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bender.
 
                         
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Charmed. I'm the Countess de la Roca. 
                         I was surprised to see another robot 
                         staying in first class. Most of the 
                         robots I meet are labourers.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I assure you, I barely know the meaning 
                         of the word "labour".
 
               
               [The Countess laughs.]

               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Oh, Mr. Bender!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Please, call me Bender.

               
               [He kisses her hand.]

               
                                     COUNTESS
                         (embarrassed) Oh, goodness. I don't--
 
                         
               
               [As he kisses her, he reaches around and takes some money from 
               her purse.]
 
               
               [Titanic Wheel Room. Zapp stands in front of an old-fashioned 
               sailing wheel. Kif emerges from a washroom.]
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.
 
                         
               
                                     KIF
                         I'll get the powder, sir.

               
                                     ZAPP
                         No, the itch for adventure! Prepare 
                         to change course.
 
               
                                     KIF
                         Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path 
                         was set by the travel agency.
 
               
               [He presses a button and a map comes down on the wall showing 
               the route is a straight line from Earth to another planet.]
 
               
               
                                     ZAPP
                         That's for schoolgirls! Now here's a 
                         route with some chest hair.
 
               
               [He squiggles a new course onto the map.]

               
                                     KIF
                         But that course leads directly through 
                         a swarm of comets.
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky. 
                         By jackknifing from one to the next 
                         at breakneck speed we might just get 
                         some kind of gravity boost ... or something. 
                          It's time to shove a jalapeño up this 
                         ship's tailpipe.  Divert power from 
                         the shields, full speed ahead!
 
               
               [Titanic Buffet. Amy is dishing up a bowlful of bisque.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Oh yeah--!

               
               [She turns around and gasps and drops the bowl when she sees 
               her parents.]
 
               
                                     MRS. WONG
                         Amy! Hello!

               
                                     AMY
                         Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?
 
                         
               
                                     MR WONG
                         We were planning on enjoying a relaxing 
                         vacation. But since you're here, we'll 
                         have to do some meddling.
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         We met the nicest boy in the cabin next 
                         to ours.
 
               
                                     MR WONG
                         He's not very ugly.

               
                                     MRS WONG
                         You should marry him! Or at least use 
                         him to conceive a grandchild for us.
 
                         
               
                                     MR WONG
                         There he is at the buffet!

               
               [He points at a large man leaning over the sneeze guard and dipping 
               his finger in the bisque to taste it.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Uh, he seems really nice but, well, 
                         I already have a boyfriend.
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         Really? Where is he?

               
                                     MR WONG
                         And why isn't he here right now fathering 
                         our grandchild?
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Uh ...

               
               [Titanic Deck. Fry and Leela are outside, looking at the stars.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well, our accommodations aren't great 
                         but it sure is beautiful our here.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah, it's pretty romantic-- Uh, I mean 
                         platonic. Th-That sure is one platonic 
                         view!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, just be quiet. I'm beginning to 
                         think this whole fake fiancé thing was 
                         a terrible, terrible--
 
               
               [She turns and gasps, then grabs Fry and kisses him.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm? Mmmm!

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Leela, perhaps this is an awkward time 
                         but if things don't work out with this 
                         pipsqueak here ...  ... I just want 
                         you to know I'll be there to score you 
                         on the rebound.
 
               
               [He walks away, humming. Leela stops kissing Fry.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Uh, look, before you get any crazy ideas, 
                         that was for Zapp.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Well, you got anything else for him?
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Alright, can we try not to complicate 
                         this?
 
               
               [Enter Amy and her parents.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Mom, Dad. I'd like you to meet Fry, 
                         my boyfriend.
 
               
               [She kisses him.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm? Mmmm!

               
               [Time Lapse. Later, the crew relax in swimsuits by the swimming. 
               Leela lies on a sunbed wearing a green swimsuit with a hole around 
               the navel. Fry says goodbye to fake girlfriend #2.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         See you later, wuvvums!

               
               [He kisses Amy and she leaves with her parents. He sits on a 
               sunbed next to Leela.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         It would have been nice if you'd told 
                         me you were going out with Amy.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm not going out with Amy. It's just 
                         to fool her parents. Hey, you're not 
                         jealous, are you?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         What? No. No! Of course not!

               
                                     FRY
                         Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship 
                         with you a lot more meaningful.
 
               
               [Leela grunts.]

               
               [Countess de la Roca's Room.]

               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Mind if I freshen up a bit before we 
                         go out?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I was just about to suggest the same 
                         thing.  Pay dirt!
 
               
               [He is about to put it in his chest cabinet but he hesitates. 
               The Countess is behind him.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Lovely, isn't it?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah. But only 93% as lovely as you.
 
                         
               
               [He puts it on her wrist.]

               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Oh, Bender! Either that was a computing 
                         error or you're the most romantic robot 
                         I've ever met!
 
               
               [Bender smirks.]

               
               [Titanic Casino. Bender watches the Countess play a fruit machine 
               while he sits at the bar.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I don't get it, iZac: That bracelet 
                         had a diamond the size of a racoon's 
                         brain. Why couldn't I steal it?
 
               
                                     IZAC
                         It's obvious, Mr. B, you're in love.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, it's true. But we're star-crossed 
                         robots. She, a countess built with a 
                         silver spoon in her mouth. And me, just 
                         a regular honest Joe.
 
               
               [He walks off with the drinks.]

               
                                     IZAC
                         Hey, you gonna pay for those?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hell, no!

               
               [iZac presses something on his body and it beeps.]

               
                                     IZAC
                         Security to bar area. Security to bar 
                         area.
 
               
               [Two robot security guards rise from the floor and grab Bender.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Fellas, please. I'm in love!

               
                                     IZAC
                         Rough him up!

               
               [The security guards punch Bender. The Countess intervenes.]
 
               
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         What are you doing?

               
                                     IZAC
                         This penniless chump was stealing drinks, 
                         ma'am.
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         I see. Here you are, sir ...  ... keep 
                         the change.
 
               
                                     IZAC
                         You got it!

               
               [The security guards punch Bender a couple more times then go 
               back into the floor. Bender looks away from the Countess, ashamed.]
 
               
               
               [Titanic Deck. The crew, Kif and the fat man are limboing. Zoidberg 
               clears the pole.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Aha!

               
               [Farnsworth has a go.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Go, Professor!

               
                                     AMY
                         Lean back more!

               
               [Farnsworth smacks straight into the pole.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ow!

               
               [Hermes and LaBarbara stand away from the game.]

               
                                     LABARBARA
                         Come on, Hermes, you could out-limbo 
                         all of these people!
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Don't be a dog heart, woman. You know 
                         I can't. Not after what happened.
 
                         
               
               [Flashback. It's the 2980 Olympics. Hermes, representing Earth, 
               is warming up ready for his limbo.]
 
               
                                     ANNOUNCER
                          Now limboing for the Earth team: Hermes 
                         Conrad.
 
               
               [As Hermes warms up, a boy in the crowd wearing a Hermes t-shirt 
               shouts to him.]
 
               
                                     BOY
                         (shouting) You're my hero, Hermes! I'm 
                         gonna be just like you!
 
               
               [He jumps out of the stand and runs towards the limbo stick.]
 
               
               
                                     HERMES
                         No, boy, stop! It's too low! Your backbone 
                         can't take it!
 
               
               [The boys starts to lean back.]

               
                                     BOY
                         I'm just like Hermes! I'm just like--
 
                         
               
               [His back cracks, the crowd gasps and Hermes winces.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         (screaming) Nooo!

               
               [Flashback ends. Hermes is crying. LaBarbara pats him on the 
               back.]
 
               
                                     LABARBARA
                         There, there. Now you don't have to 
                         limbo if you don't want. It doesn't 
                         make you any less of a man.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Though it did get me some action!

               
               [Hattie hangs onto his arm.]

               
                                     HATTIE
                         I like a man who's flexible!

               
               [Enter Zapp.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Your attention, please. As captain of 
                         this vessel, the terrible burden of 
                         naming a limbo contest winner is mine 
                         and mine alone.
 
               
                                     KIF
                         Shouldn't you be steering between the 
                         comets?
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         And the winner is, Leela!

               
               [The crowd applauds and turns to Leela, who is still sat on her 
               sunbed.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         But I didn't even limbo.

               
                                     ZAPP
                         No matter. I know from personal experience 
                         how horizontal you can get. As your 
                         reward, you and that hairpile are invited 
                         to dine at the captain's table this 
                         evening.
 
               
               [Fry hoots.]

               
               [Time Lapse. Bender and the Countess lean over the rail on the 
               deck.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Well, now you know. I'm not actually 
                         rich. I'm a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy 
                         fraud. This isn't even a real bow-tie 
                         -- it's magnetic.
 
               
               [He takes the bow-tie off and throws it against the wall where 
               it sticks.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Bender, I don't care whether you have 
                         money. I love you for your artificial 
                         intelligence and your sincerity simulator.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         You do? Really?

               
               [The Countess nods. She and Bender kiss.]

               
               [Montage: In some scenes lifted from Titanic the Countess lies 
               on a sofa naked. Bender's finger makes printer noises as he draws 
               her. He shows her the picture which looks like circuit diagrams. 
               At tthe bow of the ship he holds her up at the railings but she 
               is so heavy she ends up breaking his arms off. In the Titanic's 
               hold they climb into an old hovercar and literally make sparks.]
 
               
               
               [Titanic Buffet. A sign advertises "All You Can Eat Plus A Whole 
               Chicken". Fry, Leela, Farnsworth and Hattie sit with Zapp around 
               the captain's table wearing formal evening wear. Zapp wears a 
               formal off-white DOOP jacket with medals.]
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         I like your style, Fry. You remind me 
                         of a young me. Not much younger, mind 
                         you. Perhaps even a couple of years 
                         older.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Thank you, sir.

               
                                     ZAPP
                         As a gentleman, I must warn you. If 
                         you so much as glance at another woman, 
                         I'll be all over Leela like a fly on 
                         a pile of very seductive manure.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Well, rest assured, Leela's the only 
                         girl for me.
 
               
               [Enter the Wongs.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Hey, Fry.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Amy!

               
                                     AMY
                         Leela!

               
               [Amy has brought her parents. They sit down.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Ah, the family Wong. Our party is complete.
 
                         
               
               [Fry, Leela and Amy lean into each other and whisper to each 
               other.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         (whispering) What are we gonna do? Fry 
                         can't pretend to be both our boyfriends.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         (whispering) Sure I can. I learned how 
                         to handle delicate social situations 
                         from a little show called Three's Company.
 
                         
               
               [Zapp taps his glass.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         I'd like to impose a toast on the happy 
                         couple. Down the hatch!
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         Hear, hear! Now lets have a kiss!

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Yes, Fry. Plant one on your woman.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Um, let me think. Come and knock on 
                         our door, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Uh, 
                         Mr Roper--
 
               
               [Mr Wong thumps the table.]

               
                                     MR WONG
                         What's the hold up? Kiss my daughter 
                         already!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Wait, I'm confused. Now tell me, Fry, 
                         which one of these ladies are you involved 
                         with?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Uh ...

               
               [He hums the theme to Three's Company again. Enter Kif.]

               
                                     KIF
                         Captain, may I have a word with you?
 
                         
               
                                     ZAPP
                         No.

               
                                     KIF
                         It's an emergency, sir.

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Come back when it's a catasrophe.  Oh, 
                         very well.
 
               
               [He leaves with Kif.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Well, with Zapp gone and my parents 
                         still here, I suggest Fry give me a 
                         nice, convincing kiss.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Ah, now there's something we can all 
                         enjoy.
 
               
               [He and Amy kiss. Leela grunts and turns away.]

               
               [Titanic Wheel Room. The comets outside fly very close to the 
               ship.]
 
               
                                     KIF
                         Sir, remember your course correction?
 
                         
               
                                     ZAPP
                         No.

               
                                     KIF
                         Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal 
                         than we'd initially hoped.
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         Kif, old friend, I don't know which 
                         disgusts me more: Your cowardice or 
                         your stupidity! We'll simply set a new 
                         course for that empty region over there. 
                         Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.
 
                         
               
               [He points at the black-ish hole-ish thing and grins. Kif's jaw 
               drops.]
 
               
               [Titanic Deck. Fry emerges from a room. Leela is standing looking 
               over the railing.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey, Leela, why'd you run off from dinner?
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         I didn't run off. I had plenty of time 
                         to finish eating and stroll away while 
                         you were kissing Amy.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh, look, I'm not actually interested 
                         in her if that's what's bothering you.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two 
                         eyes, you have two eyes.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I know, we seem like a perfect match, 
                         but I just don't feel that way about 
                         her.
 
               
               [The Titanic drifts past a nebula.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Nice nebula.

               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah.

               
               [They look down at the couples on the decks below: Hermes and 
               LaBarbara, Bender and the Countess, Mr and Mrs Wong, Dr Zoidberg 
               and a jellyfish thing and Farnsworth and Hattie.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Look's like everybody's got somebody. 
                         Except me.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         And me.

               
               [They gaze into each other's eyes and lean in to kiss. The ship 
               shakes, Leela loses her balance, head butts Fry and they both 
               fall over.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         What was that?  Oh, my God! We're heading 
                         straight into a black hole.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Talk about a mood killer!

               
               [Titanic Wheel Room.]

               
                                     ZAPP
                         Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed 
                         from the start. Nothing remains now 
                         but for the captain to go down with 
                         his ship.
 
               
                                     KIF
                         Why, that's surprisingly noble of you, 
                         sir.
 
               
                                     ZAPP
                         No, it's noble of you, Kif!  As of now 
                         ...  ... you're in command. Congratulations, 
                         captain!
 
               
               [He runs off and hops into an escape pod and flies away. Kif 
               sighs.]
 
               
               [Titanic Deck. People are running about in a panic. The crew 
               look at a map of the Titanic.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK. We just have to get from here to 
                         the escape pods.
 
               
               ["Here" is the front of the ship. The escape pods are located 
               at the back. The map breaks is half and the ship itself begins 
               to tear in half.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         (shouting) I'm too young to die!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Come on, before its too late!

               
                                     BENDER
                         You all go without me. I'm gonna take 
                         one last look around. You know, for, 
                         uh, stuff to steal.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You're going back or the Countess, aren't 
                         you?
 
               
               [Bender pulls Fry aside.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (whispering) Alright, I am. But I don't 
                         want the others to know. If I don't 
                         come back, just say I died robbing some 
                         old man.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'll tell them you went out prying the 
                         wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         I love you, buddy!

               
               [Bender hugs Fry then runs off.]

               
               [Cut to: Titanic Casino. The fruit machines and tables are overturned, 
               fires burn and there is a huge hole in the middle of the floor. 
               Bender runs in to the room.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Countess? Countess?

               
               Countess (shouting) Bender!

               
               [Bender looks around and sees the Countess's hat by the hole. 
               He rushes over and peers into the hole. The Countess is trapped 
               in a burning room. She is huddled in a corner away from the flames.]
 
               
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         (shouting) I fell through the deck.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Are you hurt, my sweet?
 
                         
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         (shouting) No. Luckily a family broke 
                         my fall.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Just hang on! I'll take care of that 
                         fire!
 
               
               [He grabs a fire hose and jumps through the hole.]

               
               [Cut to: Titanic Room. Bender lands in the middle of the room 
               and sprays the flames with water, extinguishing the fire. He 
               leaves the hose and hugs the Countess.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Bender, you risked your life to save 
                         me.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         And I'd do it again. And perhaps a third 
                         time. But that would be it.  When we 
                         kiss, I feel like I'm standing waist 
                         deep in a pool of cold, rising water.
 
                         
               
               [They both look down and see they are standing waist deep in 
               a pool of cold, rising water. They scream and shout as it gets 
               closer to their heads.]
 
               
               [Titanic Corridor. The crew run around a corner. Fry is carrying 
               Farnsworth on his back.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hurry! The escape pods should be just 
                         ahead!
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         (gasping) Faster!

               
               [There is a crash and the emergency airlock begins to close. 
               The crew rush forward to get under it. Zoidberg dives and wedges 
               his claw under it. It stops moving. Leela tries to lift it.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         It won't move. And the door release 
                         is on the other side.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Then we're dead meat. No one could squeeze 
                         under there!
 
               
               [Hermes steps forward.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         No one, except a legendary limbo champion.
 
                         
               
               [He tears his tux off, revealing his Earth team vest underneath.]
 
               
               
                                     LABARBARA
                         Oh, Hermes!

               
               [Hermes leans back and his back creaks.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         Ooh! It's been a while.  This one is 
                         for that little kid who's limboing up 
                         in heaven right now.
 
               
               [LaBarbara pulls a food trolley in front of her and starts playing 
               a dish cover with some spoons. Hermes squeezes under the door. 
               The others cheer.]
 
               
                                     LABARBARA
                         That's my man, alright, baby, limbo!
 
                         
               
                                     HERMES
                         I still got the moves! Zoidberg, lower 
                         the door another inch.
 
               
                                     LABARBARA
                         Just go on through and hit the release, 
                         you hot dog!
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Yes, dear.

               
               [The door slides up. They all cheer and rush through.]

               
                                     LABARBARA
                         That's my man!

               
                                     AMY
                         Yay, Hermes!

               
                                     HERMES
                         Uh, can somebody help me up?

               
               [Titanic Room. The water rises and completely covers the robots. 
               They stop screaming.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         Well, now what are we going to do?
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Wait a second. Aren't you a member of 
                         the yacht club?
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         By God, you're right! I'm a class-3 
                         yacht.
 
               
               [A propellor comes out from under her. Bender hops on and they 
               rise to the surface.]
 
               
               [Titanic Deck. Passengers are boarding the escape pods.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Thank God there are plenty of escape 
                         pods; We won't have to dress up like 
                         women and children.
 
               
               [He takes his hat off and throws his lolly down. He and the others 
               run into the escape pod. Leela and Fry stop outside.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         We can't leave yet. We've got to wait 
                         for Bender. The high gravity must be 
                         slowing down his looting.
 
               
               [Amy's parents walk out onto the deck.]

               
                                     MRS WONG
                         Amy!

               
                                     AMY
                         Mom? Dad? You're alive!

               
                                     MR WONG
                         Yeah but so what? The important thing 
                         is we found you a new man.
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         A captain.

               
                                     AMY
                         Uh, Mom, I don't--  Hi!

               
                                     KIF
                         (sexfully) Hello!

               
               [Kif picks Amy up and carries her to the escape pod. They kiss.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Escape Pod. The ship begins to twist and distort.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I don't feel well!

               
               [His head twists around like a squishy goo.]

               
               [Cut to: Titanic Deck. Fry points at something in space.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Look! It's our nebula. Whenever I see 
                         it I'll think back to that moment when 
                         we almost--  Never mind!
 
               
               [Hermes pokes his head out of the escape pod.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         Everyone else is off the ship. Where 
                         in Babylon is Bender?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         I don't know. But we can't wait any 
                         longer.
 
               
               [She gets into the pod and Fry follows. He looks back at the 
               ship.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Goodbye, Bender.

               
               [He closes the hatch. Bender and the Countess run out of the 
               ship panting.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Wait for us!

               
               [The escape pod lifts off and the airlock between it and the 
               Titanic deck seals. Bender and the Countess leap from the deck, 
               smashing through the glass airlock.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Escape Pod. Bender and the Countess float towards 
               the pod and Bender reaches out his hand.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Escape pod. It rocks as Bender grabs hold. Everyone 
               is sat along the length of the pod and Leela steers.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Something's wrong. We're two metric 
                         tons overweight.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Well, its not me!

               
               [Fry looks out of the airlock window.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Look!

               
               [Everyone looks out the window to see Bender and the Countess.
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Outside Escape Pod. The Titanic creaks and is sucked 
               into the black hole. The escape pod starts to drift back towards 
               it.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         I'm slipping, Bender. The pull is too 
                         strong!
 
               
               [She slips from Bender's grasp but he grabs on to her bracelet. 
               It's all that holds them together. She screams.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I can't live without you. If you let 
                         go, I let go!
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         No! You have too much to live for. It 
                         may hurt for a while but one day you'll 
                         share your love again. After all, it's 
                         shareware.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Don't talk like that. Tragic romances 
                         always have a happy ending.
 
               
               [The bracelet snaps and the Countess falls towards the black 
               hole.]
 
               
                                     COUNTESS
                         (shouting) Farewell!

               
               [The black hole sucks her in.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Nooo!

               
               [Cut to: Escape Pod. Bender walks in and closes the airlock behind 
               him.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         She's gone.

               
                                     LEELA
                         But she saved all our lives. Without 
                         her, we're light enough to get away.
 
                         
               
               [Bender slams his head against the airlock and cries.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Don't cry, Bender. Nobody really knows 
                         what happens in a black hole. It's possible 
                         she's still alive in another dimension 
                         somewhere. Right, Professor?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, yes, absolutely!  Not a chance!
 
                         
               
               [He draws his finger across his neck and mimes being hung.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         At least I'll always have her bracelet! 
                          What do you think it's worth?
 
               
               [Hermes takes a look at it.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         It's fake, mon!

               
               [Bender cries as the the pod flies away into space.]

               
               THE END

               

A Flight To Remember



Writers :   Eric Horsted
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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