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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 306

                                     "BENDLESS LOVE"

                                           By

                                      Eric Horsted

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Torn From Tomorrow's Headlines.]
 
               
               
               [Planet Express: Hangar. The hangar doors are open and the launching 
               mechanism raises the ship into the launch position.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. The crew are sat at their stations.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Guidance system?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Online.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Autopilot?

               
                                     AUTOPILOT
                         Present.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Dark matter indicator?

               
                                     FRY
                         Making the noise.

               
                                     LEELA
                         All systems operational. Let's rock!
 
                         
               
               [She pushes the gear lever forward.]

               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The engines fire up.]

               
               [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The ship takes off and the engines 
               suddenly shut down. The ship falls onto the road and the landing 
               gear pops out. Motorists honk their horns as the crashed ship 
               causes a traffic jam.]
 
               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Zoidberg and Hermes 
               sit around the table. Leela stands holding a thick folder.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Gentlemen, I've completed my report 
                         on the crash.
 
               
               [She drops the thick file onto the table and everyone stares 
               at it.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Whoa! I'm not reading that crap. Summarise 
                         it in one word.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Sabotage.  This is a normal L-unit. 
                         Without it, space travel is but the 
                         fevered dream of a madman.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Yep.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Of course.

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Doy!

               
                                     HERMES
                         It's an important unit.

               
                                     LEELA
                         And this, my friends, is the L-unit 
                         I just removed from the ship.
 
               
               [She pulls a sheet off an L-unit. It is straight. Everyone gasps.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         That doesn't look like an "L" at all. 
                         Unless you count lowercase.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         You know we don't!

               
               [He slaps Fry and he groans.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Whoever did this was strong. This is 
                         340 pounds of Tonka-tough steel.
 
               
               [Bender stands at her side and picks up the L-unit.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hmm. It should look like this.  But 
                         instead it looks like this.
 
               
               [He straightens it again.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Who would do a thing like that?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Who could do a thing like that? And 
                         by "that", I mean this.
 
               
               [He bends the L-unit back and forth repeatedly.]

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Well, gang, it looks like we have another 
                         mystery on our hands.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         I'd better make a chart of the suspects. 
                         I'll begin by drawing a line with my 
                         straight-edge.  Sweet lampre of Santa 
                         Fe! My edge has been bent!
 
               
               [Amy walks in wearing Mars University sweats.]

               
                                     AMY
                         (crying) My javelin too! It's ruined. 
                          Now we'll never beat Jupiter State.
 
                         
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         My slinky!  My cuddly, little pet slinky!
 
                         
               
               [He cries. Farnsworth walks in. He has been bent forward so his 
               back is horizontal and his face is pointing downwards.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         What's all the hubbub?

               
                                     LEELA
                         My God! Even the Professor's been bent.
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         That you for your sympathy, talking 
                         square of linoleum.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'll get you fixed up.  That's fine.
 
                         
               
                                     AMY
                         Wait a minute. Bender? What did you 
                         just do to the Professor?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I bent him.

               
               [More gasps.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Aha!

               
                                     HERMES
                         Bender!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         J'accuse!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, I see. A bunch of stuff gets bent 
                         so it must be the robot designed for 
                         bending.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         I know how to settle this: We'll check 
                         last night's surveillance tapes.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Huh?

               
                                     AMY
                         What tapes?

               
                                     LEELA
                         Surveillance?

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         You've seen me naked?

               
               [Planet Express: Surveillance Room. Hermes presses a button and 
               a panel in the wall slides up, revealing several screens and 
               rows of tapes. Hermes runs his finger across the tapes.]
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Ah. Last night's tape. It was right 
                         next to Bathroom Bloopers 4.
 
               
               [Bender takes the tape and puts it in the VCR. On the screen 
               Farnsworth snores in his apartment lounge. Owls wander out of 
               an owl hole and start pecking the floor.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         See? Nothing. Told you, losers.

               
               [Bender walks in on the screen with his arms outstretched.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Wait! There on the screen. It's that 
                         guy you are.
 
               
               [Everyone gasps.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         I'm sleepwalking.

               
               [Farnsworth watches a little TV monitor attached to his head.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dear God! We've got robots on the ceiling.
 
                         
               
               [On the screen Bender mumbles in his sleep. He bends a column 
               and the staff gasp. Then he bends a sofa cushion, a plant and 
               eventually Farnsworth, who groans but remains asleep. Bender 
               turns around and bends the camera. The picture cuts to static.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         You weren't sleepwalking. You were sleep-bending!
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         This is quite a shock. On the other 
                         hand, it's not surprising in the least. 
                         After all, I've been bending since the 
                         day I was built.
 
               
               [Flashback. Large robotic arms assemble a bending unit on a conveyor 
               belt.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (voice-over) I was born on an assembly 
                         line in the bad part of Tijuana.
 
               
               [A robotic arm selects a bending unit head from a box filled 
               with other robot heads, including Flexo's. It screws the head 
               onto the body and Bender opens his eyes.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Mama.  Hooray! I graduated! Time to 
                         bend around Europe for a few months, 
                         then get a job bending.
 
               
               [He bends his diploma.]

               
               [Flashback ends.]

               
                                     AMY
                         You remember your own birth?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Sure. It was only four years ago.

               
                                     FRY
                         You're only four years old?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Precocious little scamp, ain't I?

               
               [He takes a puff from a cigar.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Hmm. Bender must have a pent-up need 
                         to bend that's not being satisfied by 
                         his bend-free lifestyle.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Then he can't stay here. He's a menace 
                         to every straight person in the company. 
                          Go satisfy your bend lust and don't 
                         you come back to work until you do.
 
                         
               
               [He puts his hand up and tips backwards.]

               
               [Outside Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. Robots have formed a picket 
               line outside.]
 
               
                                     ROBOTS
                         (chanting) No more bending, no more 
                         work. Give us a raise, you big fat jerk.
 
                         
               
               [Sal leans out of a window.]

               
                                     SAL
                         (shouting) Nevers!

               
               [A car pulls up next to the robots and Joey Mouse Pad leans out. 
               He whistles to them.]
 
               
                                     JOEY
                         Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't 
                         tell no one. Spread the word.
 
               
               [He leans back in.]

               
               [Cut to: Mafiabot Car. Clamps and Donbot are with Joey.]

               
                                     DONBOT
                         As the duly-elected mobsters of this 
                         union, it's our duty to support the 
                         struggle of these proud, lazy slobs.
 
                         
               
                                     JOEY
                         Yeah, but what if management remains 
                         intragnizent?
 
               
                                     DONBOT
                         From the context it is clear what you 
                         mean. In that case, Clamps may have 
                         a little surprise for them.
 
               
                                     CLAMPS
                         The clamps!  (unsure) Right?

               
               [Donbot nods and Clamps laughs maniacally.]

               
               [Outside Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. Bender arrives and sees 
               the robots.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Aw, no! A strike? Now I'll never get 
                         to bend anything. Oh, woe is Bender.
 
                         
               
                                     ROBOT #1
                         Hang tough, brother. Management refused 
                         our demand to switch casual Friday to 
                         Monday.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         What?!

               
                                     ROBOT #2
                         And now they're hiring scabs at ten- 
                         times the normal wage.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ten-times normal wage?  I'll give those 
                         jerks what for!
 
               
               [He walks straight through the fence towards the factory and 
               the robots cheer him on.]
 
               
               [Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. Bender shakes Sal's hand.]

               
                                     SAL
                         Welcomes aboard, scab.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Great to be here.

               
                                     SAL
                         Come on. I'll introduces you to your 
                         scab co-workers you'll be scabbing with. 
                          This heres our scab foreman.
 
               
               [The bending unit turns around.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Flexo?

               
                                     FLEXO
                         Bender?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hey, sorry you got sent to that South 
                         American Turkish prison instead of me 
                         on account of mistaken identity.
 
               
                                     FLEXO
                         You bastard! They treated me like an 
                         animal and that's what I became!  Nah, 
                         you're alright. Good to see you, buddy!
 
                         
               
               [They high-five.]

               
                                     SAL
                         And heres another scab what also works 
                         here: Angleyne.
 
               
               [Bender gasps and stares at the Fembot, blurry eyed. She is thin 
               and has blonde hair.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (sexfully) Hello.

               
               [Angleyne smiles.]

               
                                     SAL
                         Hey, yous guyses wanna move that things?
 
                         
               
               [Robots move a pane of frosted glass from in front of Angleyne, 
               revealing her to be more heavily-built than Bender thought.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         (more sexfully) Hello!

               
               [Angleyne laughs croakily then coughs.]

               
               [Outside Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. The robots still march 
               and chant.]
 
               
                                     ROBOTS
                         (chanting) Give us a raise you big fat 
                         jerk.
 
               
               [Cut to: Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. A girder drops into Flexo's 
               hands.]
 
               
                                     SAL
                         (from outside) Nevers!

               
               [Flexo bends the girder and moves it aside. Bender stands in 
               front of him and bends a girder. Angleyne bends wires into wire 
               coat hangers. Bender gazes at her and sighs. A girder hits him 
               on the head.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ow!  Um. Hi, Angleyne. Whatcha up to?
 
                         
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Making hangers. Guidance counsellor 
                         said I had a knack for it.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         That's cool, that's cool. So, um, uh, 
                         I was wondering if, y'know, it's cool 
                         if not, but, what are you doing after 
                         work?
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         What I always do. Jack squat.

               
               [Bender chuckles.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Me too.  Man, we have a lot in common, 
                         huh?
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well we are made of virtually identical 
                         components.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (sexfully) Are you sure? Maybe I should 
                         sneak a peek at your access panel.
 
                         
               
               [Angleyne holds up a leaflet.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Hey, according to the scab handbook 
                         that's extremely inappropriate banter. 
                         (sexfully) And that's just the way I 
                         like it.
 
               
               [Bender smiles.]

               
               [Planet Express: Hangar. Hermes tries to straighten his straight 
               edge. Behind him the ship is a battered mess.]
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Haile H. Selassie!

               
               [He bends it straight. Beside him, Zoidberg has re-curled his 
               slinky, though it doesn't really look right.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         There, little friend. Good as new.
 
                         
               
               [He strokes it and puts it atop a pile of books he has arranged 
               like stairs. He nudges the slinky and it flops down the books 
               and bursts into flames. Zoidberg groans and bursts into tears.]
 
               
               
               [New New York City Street. Fry and Farnsworth walk down the rough 
               street. Farnsworth is looking upwards and doesn't notice how 
               bad the street and its inhabitants are.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         What an exquisite day. That azure sky, 
                         the verdant treetops.  Those delightful 
                         birds with their chirp, chirp, chirp 
                         and their tweet, tweet, splat.
 
               
               [They pass a dog leaving its mark on a fire hydrant and two hookers 
               wearing jet packs.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful. 
                         What the hell's wrong with you?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Hmm. I'm not quite sure. Perhaps seeing 
                         things from a new perspective has reminded 
                         me of life's beauty. Or perhaps my new 
                         posture is causing blood to pool in 
                         the back of my brain, resulting in a 
                         mild delirium. Incidentally, you have 
                         a dime up your nose.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I wish! It's a nickel.

               
               [Outside Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. A new day dawns and Bender 
               passes the picket line wearing a hardhat and carrying a lunchbox. 
               He waves his fist.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Union forever! Lousy scabs! They can't 
                         do those things! Et cetera!
 
               
               [Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         I bet watching me bend girders like 
                         this turns your legs all rubbery.
 
                         
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well my legs are made of rubber.  And 
                         anyway, I am just as strong as you are, 
                         Mac.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, yeah?  Prove it.  Here, let me help 
                         you.
 
               
               [He puts his arms around her and together they bend the girder 
               into a heart shape. A few bars of Unchained Melody play as they 
               gaze into each other's eyes. They lean in and kiss, and sparks 
               fly.]
 
               
               [Montage: Bender and Angleyne date to American Breed's Bend Me, 
               Shape Me. At a fairground stall, Bender tries to knock down a 
               pile of bottles with a ball but repeatedly misses. Angleyne looks 
               away in dismay so Bender throws the ball at the man in the stall, 
               knocking him out. He takes a big stuffed pig and gives it to 
               Angleyne then steals the man's wallet and they run off. Later, 
               they enjoy a boat ride on a lake. Bender's detached arms row 
               the boat and he and Angleyne cuddle. Still later, they ride a 
               tandem through the park. Fry scoots alongside them using the 
               Professor as a bicycle and Hermes and Zoidberg hold some tape 
               at the finish line. Fry and Farnsworth get ahead and Bender takes 
               a stick out of his chest cabinet and puts it between the spokes 
               of Farnsworth's wheel, causing him and Fry to fly through the 
               air. They land in a lake and Bender laughs as he and Angleyne 
               cut through the tape.]
 
               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth, Leela, Fry, Zoidberg, 
               Amy and Hermes sit around the table. For some reason everyone 
               except Farnsworth is tied to their chair and Leela's ponytail 
               points to her right.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         My new bent outlook has completely re-energised 
                         me. I'm even dating a young Brazilian 
                         retired actress.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Alright!

               
               [Amy cheers.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Some say I'm robbing the cradle but 
                         I say she's robbing the grave.
 
               
               [Bender wanders in sideways. It turns out the meeting table has 
               been stuck to the wall so Farnsworth can see everyone eye-to-eye.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Howdy, doodies. What's new?

               
               [He uses his suction feet to walk up the wall and sit in an empty 
               chair.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I was just regaling your former co-workers 
                         with a tale of bedroom antics, the likes 
                         of which--
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah, yeah! Big whoop! No-one cares. 
                         I got Bender-related news. I'm in love 
                         and I'm taking all my friends out to 
                         celebrate.
 
               
               [Everyone cheers.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Let's get liquored up!

               
               [Bender walks down to the floor and everyone else falls out of 
               their seats and land in a pile on the floor.]
 
               
               [Elzar's Fine Cuisine. The evening's special is blackened leftovers. 
               The crew sit around a table and Farnsworth leans against it with 
               his legs behind him.]
 
               
                                     ELZAR
                         Hey, look at this crowd. You guys gotta 
                         try the pasta. It's got a real nice 
                         profit margin. Bam! So, special occasion 
                         tonight?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, Elzar, you'll never guess what's 
                         happened?
 
               
                                     ELZAR
                         Bam?

               
                                     BENDER
                         I met the most dynamite ladybot.

               
                                     ELZAR
                         Hey, that's terrific. To celebrate, 
                         I'm gonna stick seven copies of my latest 
                         cookbook on your bill.
 
               
               [He holds up his book, Three More Recipes and leaves.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Bless you, sir.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         So, Bender, tell us about this new girlfriend 
                         of yours.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I intend to. Through the lost art of 
                         the toast.  To Angleyne, she's got it 
                         all. Looks, charm and the love of a 
                         fabulous bending robot.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         She sure does.

               
               [He points across the room. Bender turns and gasps. Flexo and 
               Angleyne sit at a table laughing.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Flexo!

               
               [He picks up a baguette and tries to break it. Elzar walks past 
               at the back of the room.]
 
               
                                     ELZAR
                         (shouting) Careful, that's a week old!
 
                         
               
               [Bender grunts and the stick breaks, then his arms fall off. 
               He reattaches them and mutters to himself.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I finally meet a nice girl with a pair 
                         of legs that don't quit unexpectedly 
                         and that jerk Flexo steals her away? 
                         It's time to kick some shiny, metal 
                         ass.  You degenerate hussy! I'm disappointed 
                         in you too, Angleyne.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Bender, it's-it's not what you think.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, God! Then it's worse than I think.
 
                         
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Now look, there is no reason to be upset. 
                         Flexo and I are divorced.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Div-- Huh?

               
                                     FLEXO
                         We're just havin' dinner 'cause we wanna 
                         stay friends.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Uh, I knew that. What I'm actually outraged 
                         by is your choice of wine. Really, it's 
                         the steward's fault.
 
               
               [He smacks a passing steward.]

               
                                     STEWARD
                         Excellent choice, sir.

               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. Bender paces backwards and forwards 
               muttering to himself. Fry and Leela sit on the couch and Farnsworth 
               leans against it. Leela reads a book.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (muttering) That Flexo, I'm knockin' 
                         him right on his butt. I can't believe 
                         this.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Obsessing won't help, Bender. Take a 
                         lean back and enjoy life.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I can't. My Fembot may be in love with 
                         another Manbot.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well talk to her. Tell her about your 
                         feelings in an open an honest way.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah. Either that or be a man.

               
               [Fry's and Bender's Lounge. At dusk, Bender paces around the 
               apartment while Fry trims a plant into the shape of the Planet 
               Express ship.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         OK, I've constructed an elaborate lie: 
                         I'll call Angleyne while pretending 
                         to be Flexo, arrange a date, show up 
                         disguised as him and catch her two-timing 
                         me with myself.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's thinkin' like a man.

               
               [Bender picks up the phone and dials.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (disguised voice) Hello? This is Flexo.
 
                         
               
               [Outside The Hip Joint. A taxi flies towards the club and Bender 
               gets out. It's Robot Nite and designated device drivers drink 
               free. Bender opens his chest cabient and sticks a goatee to his 
               chin.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Now we'll see who loves whom.

               
               [He cackles and walks in.]

               
               [Cut to: The Hip Joint. Bender looks around and sees Angleyne 
               at the bar.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Hey, hot stuff.

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Hey, Flexo.  So since when do you go 
                         to bars on work nights? It's not like 
                         you at all.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Nonsense. It's exactly like me. Flexo: 
                         The fun loving love machine Fembots 
                         love to love. Hey, barkeep, I'll have 
                         a Fuzzy Navel and she'll have the girliest 
                         drink in the house.
 
               
                                     BARTENDERBOT
                         Two Fuzzy Navel's comin' up.

               
               [Bender takes a wad of cash out of his chest cabinet.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         I hope they can make change for a fortune.
 
                         
               
               [He tosses the cash over the bar. On the other side of the bar 
               the Mafiabots watch him.]
 
               
                                     JOEY
                         Yo. Get an eyeload of that filty scab 
                         with the beard flashing his filthy scab 
                         money. It's an insult to you, boss.
 
                         
               
                                     DONBOT
                         Yeah. That cash oughta be slushin' my 
                         fund and kicksing my back.
 
               
                                     CLAMPS
                         I'm greasing up my whoozits!

               
               [He squirts oil on his clamps.]

               
                                     DONBOT
                         Whoa, whoa, Clamps, not yet. Let's just 
                         keep an eye on him and see if he does 
                         it a couple more times.
 
               
               [Bender and Angleyne drink.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         You're lookin' good to Flexo tonight.
 
                         
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Quit makin' with the googly eyes. You 
                         know that I'm in love with Bender.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Bender? That walking wuss factory?
 
                         
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well he may be a walking factory but 
                         believe me he is no wuss. Now look. 
                         You and me are through. I told you that 
                         when I divorced you.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         But going through a divorce together, 
                         you can't tell me that didn't bring 
                         us closer. Care to dance?
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         You know I love dancing but you always 
                         hated it.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         In that case it's something I've always 
                         wanted to make up to you.  Hey, scratchmo. 
                         How 'bout dropping me and the lady some 
                         rump-rattling beats?
 
               
               [He takes out his cash and throws it at the DJbot. The Mafiabots 
               watch.]
 
               
                                     DONBOT
                         I had hoped that by the second time 
                         he flashed his cash my rage would have 
                         subsided. Sadly that has not happened.
 
                         
               
               [Clamps sharpens his clamps. Bender and Angleyne dance with the 
               other robots.]
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         You used to be so inflexible, Flexo. 
                         You have really loosened up!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I recently upgraded my funk card. C'mon!
 
                         
               
               [He dances.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Alright!

               
                                     BENDER
                         C'mon now, what's new!  Ew!

               
               [He wipes it on his casing.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Flexo? What-What's going on?

               
               [Bender laughs weakly and puts the goatee back on his face.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Um...

               
               [He grabs Angleyne and tilts her back and she laughs.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Flexo!

               
               [The robots dancing on the platforms start to fall apart and 
               they rain on Bender and Angleyne.]
 
               
               [Time Lapse. Bender and Angleyne sit at a table as the janitor 
               sweeps the robot parts off the empty floor.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         So the moral of the story is: If you 
                         want it to stay sunk, tie a weight to 
                         it!
 
               
               [They laugh.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         (laughing) You always were a kick in 
                         the teeth, man.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Aw, shucks, thunder-buns! You make me 
                         feel like a million volts.
 
               
               [Angleyne sighs and stirs her finger around the rim of her glass.]
 
               
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Flexo, Flexo, Flexo. I'm starting to 
                         remember why I fell for you in the first 
                         place.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (thinking) So, she's falling for Flexo, 
                         eh? I'd better seduce her a little more, 
                         just to be sure.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well, it's late. I should get home to 
                         my trailer.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'll walk you out. After all, a true 
                         gentleman tends to his date's every 
                         need.  Tiparillo?
 
               
               [Outside The Hip Joint. Bender and Angleyne walk out smoking 
               their cigars. Bender hands a valet some money.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Here you are, my lad. Bring the lady's 
                         car around in the finest way possible.
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Mafiabot Car. The mobbots watch.]

               
                                     JOEY
                         He's flashin' his cash loaf again.
 
                         
               
                                     DONBOT
                         How many times is that? Two or three?
 
                         
               
                                     CLAMPS
                         Three.

               
                                     DONBOT
                         Alright. That's the necessary number 
                         of times. That scab's gonna have a little 
                         on-the-job accident.
 
               
                                     JOEY
                         With all due respect, Donbot, I don't 
                         think we should rely on an accident 
                         happening. Let's kill him ourselves.
 
                         
               
               [Donbot groans.]

               
               [Cut to: Outside The Hip Joint. Angleyne stands by her car.]
 
               
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well, goodnight. I-I had a great time.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         How 'bout a lift? To your place.

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         What?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Admit it. You felt something for me 
                         tonight. And by me I mean Flexo.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Hey look, I had fun but--

               
                                     BENDER
                         But?

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         But--

               
                                     BENDER
                         Buuut?

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         (gasping) But...  Huh? Bender! You tricked 
                         me.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         That's right, baby. I ain't your lover 
                         boy, Flexo, the guy you love so much. 
                         You even love anybody pretending to 
                         be him.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Well maybe I love you so much I love 
                         you no matter who you're pretending 
                         to be.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand 
                         that! There's only one reasonable course 
                         of action now: Kill Flexo.  Ow!
 
               
               [He takes Angleyne's car and flies away. She runs after him to 
               the edge of the platform.]
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         (screaming) Nooo!

               
               [Curvetti Bros. Bending Plant. Flexo hums as he bends girders. 
               Bender walks in and pushes Flexo.]
 
               
                                     FLEXO
                         Thanks, I appreciate that.  Nah, I'm 
                         joshing you. That was quite annoying.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         You call yourself divorced? You're making 
                         a mockery of one of our oldest institutions.
 
                         
               
                                     FLEXO
                         What?

               
               [Bender punches him and they start fighting. In a control room 
               above, the mobbots watch. Clamps operates a set of controls that 
               hold a huge unbendable girder above the factory floor.]
 
               
                                     CLAMPS
                         Alright, boss, give the word and I'll 
                         drop this unbendable girder. Clamp, 
                         clamp, ka-bamp!
 
               
                                     DONBOT
                         Remember, only kill the one with the 
                         beard. That other filthy scab we got 
                         nothing against.
 
               
               [Clamps moves the girder and Flexo pushes Bender against a wall. 
               Bender opens Flexo's door and punches the roof of his chest cabinet. 
               Flexo groans.]
 
               
                                     FLEXO
                         That's low!

               
               [Angleyne runs around the corner.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Please stop! I'm not worth it!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Probably not. But I love you And I'm 
                         gonna kick his ass 'til I win you back.
 
                         
               
               [He pushes Flexo into the middle of the room and Clamps moves 
               the girder again. Flexo starts choking Bender.]
 
               
                                     DONBOT
                         (from control room) OK, Clamps. Now!
 
                         
               
               [The girder drops and Bender and Flexo fall to the floor. Angleyne 
               screams and the mobbots look through the window.]
 
               
                                     CLAMPS
                         Ooh, that's gotta clamp!

               
               [Flexo has been crushed under the girder. Angleyne kneels by 
               him.]
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         Flexo? Are you OK?

               
                                     FLEXO
                         Yeah, never better.  Nah, I'm yankin' 
                         your chain, I'm dying.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         You can't die. Tonight Bender showed 
                         me that I love you.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         But, I love you.

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         I know and I care for you too. But I 
                         could never love anyone as much as you 
                         made me realise I love Flexo.
 
               
               [She hugs Flexo and cries.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         But ... but ...  I love you so much, 
                         Angleyne, I want you to be happy no 
                         matter what.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         What, what are you saying?

               
                                     BENDER
                         I'm saying I've got an unbendable girder 
                         to bend.
 
               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         You can't bend that girder. It's unbendable!
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Well I don't know anything about lifting, 
                         so that just leaves us the one option.
 
                         
               
               [He grunts as he tries to bend the girder. He stops and takes 
               some BENDGAY out of his chest cabinet. He rubs it on his hands 
               and arms and tries bending again. Oil dribbles down his forehead, 
               his door pops off and his antenna explodes but he finally manages 
               to bend the girder away from Flexo's head. Flexo waddles out 
               from under it and shakes Bender's hand.]
 
               
                                     FLEXO
                         Thanks, buddy. Another year under that 
                         and I'd have been a goner.
 
               
               [Angleyne hugs Bender.]

               
                                     ANGLEYNE
                         I'll always remember this, Bender.
 
                         
               
               [She hugs Flexo and Bender wipes a tear away from his eye.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         (crying) Me too. Me too. (talking) Jerk.
 
                         
               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. The staff sit around the table.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         So Flexo and Angleyne had sex right 
                         there on the factory floor? Well, at 
                         least you got bending out of your system.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yes. I won't be up to bending again 
                         for a long, long time.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Perhaps it's your outlook that needs 
                         a good bend. A 90-degree bend to a place 
                         where happiness is perpendicular to 
                         wonderment.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Professor, we're all sick of your upbeat 
                         attitude.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         I'll say.

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Believe it.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Nonsense. It's just like in the song 
                         I wrote:
 
               (singing) We all need a new angle on life,

               You gotta bend away all your trouble and your strife,

               
               [Leela sighs.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Bender, you've gotta help us.

               
                                     BENDER
                         I try to get out but they keep pulling 
                         me back in.
 
               
               [He stands up and rolls up his sleeves.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         (singing) You gotta dangle,

               Have a new angle,

               Wangle a new dangle on life.

               
               [Bender bends him and he screams. He has bent right over backwards.]
 
               
               
                                     AMY
                         No, Bender! The other way.

               
                                     BENDER
                         I like him better this way.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I'm sad now.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Eh, it's fine.

               
               THE END

               

Bendless Love



Writers :   Eric Horsted
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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