FUTURAMA
Episode 206
"BRANNIGAN, BEGIN AGAIN"
By
Lewis Morton
Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
[Ships Rec Room. Fry and Bender play a futuristic version of
chess. The pieces are holograms and include an Omicronian, a
Trisolian, a Horrible Gelatinous Blob, one of Kif's people and
one of Zoidberg's people.]
FRY
Hmm. Horsey to pointy guy six. Check.
BENDER
Hmm. Get him, boys!
[Fry screams as Bender's pieces leap off the board and knock
him to the floor and beat him up.]
FRY
(hoarse) Good move.
[Opening Credits. Caption: Not Y3K Compliant.]
[Planet Express: Lounge. Fry lies on the couch next to Bender
and Leela leans against the wall reading Cosmopolitan. The door
opens.]
FARNSWORTH
Good news, everyone. We have a mission
to further the noble cause of intergalactic
peace.
BENDER
Nope. Watching cartoons.
FRY
Sorry.
[Leela tips them off the couch.]
LEELA
What's the mission?
FARNSWORTH
It's a delivery for the Democratic Order
Of Planets.
[He points at the label on the package that says "DOOP." Fry
looks at it.]
FRY
DOOP? What's that?
FARNSWORTH
It's similar to the United Nations from
your time, Fry.
FRY
Uh...
HERMES
Or like the Federation from your Star
Trek programme.
FRY
(getting it) Oh!
FARNSWORTH
Tonight is the ribbon-cutting for the
DOOP's new headquarters.
LEELA
What are we delivering?
FARNSWORTH
Something without which no ribbon-cutting
ceremony could proceed. The ceremonial
oversized scissors.
[He takes them out of the box and Leela takes them from him.]
LEELA
We'll get them there as quickly as we
can.
FARNSWORTH
Alright, but don't run with them.
[The Planet Express ship flies towards the ultra-modern new DOOP
space station located in the Neutral Zone and docks.]
[New DOOP Headquarters. The crew walk into the huge reception
area.]
FRY
Wow! There's a million aliens. I've
never seen anything so mind blowing.
Ooh, a reception table with muffins!
[He runs across the room. Glab, one of Kif's people, stands at
a podium. A grey man dressed in grey and an orange DOOP sash
stands behind her.]
GLAB
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
ribbon-cutting ceremony of the DOOP's
magnificent new headquarters. A fitting
home for an organisation that has fostered
peace throughout the universe. Even
between the Insectoids and the Space
Lizards.
[A spotlight falls on a Space Lizard who is eating an Insectoid.
He spits out the Insectoid and shakes it's hand. Everyone applauds.
At the bar Fry picks at a muffin and chats up someone.]
FRY
So, what's it like on planet Amazonia?
[The woman is a huge ten-foot tall Neanderthal wearing leopard-skin
and carrying a club.]
AMAZONIAN
Big rats there. Me crush with club.
FRY
That's so interesting. Maybe we could
get to know each other over a coffee.
GLAB
I can think of no better place for this
centre of diplomacy than here in orbit
around the Neutral Planet. What are
your thoughts on this momentous occasion,
Your Neutralness?
NEUTRAL PRESIDENT
I have no strong feelings one way or
the other.
[Everyone cheers, except one man.]
ZAPP
I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With
enemies you know where they stand but
with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens
me. Halt. Why, Leela. I do believe
we've met.
BENDER
(whispering) He means you guys did it.
LEELA
If you don't mind, we're here to deliver
the scissors for the ribbon-cutting.
ZAPP
Then you're under arrest.
[He snatches the scissors away.]
LEELA
What for?
ZAPP
How do I know these scissors aren't
part of some Neutral plot?
LEELA
But they're not even sharp. Who could
I possibly hurt with them?
ZAPP
The Yarn People of Nylar 4? So, a plan
to assassinate a weird-looking alien
with scissors. How very Neutral of you.
LEELA
What?
ZAPP
It was almost the perfect crime, but
you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors
... but paper covers rock ... and scissors
cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum.
Search them for paper, and bring me
a rock.
KIF
Why?
[Zapp stares at Leela.]
ZAPP
So beautiful, yet so neutral. Drag
them to the ship.
GLAB
And now, to cut the ribbon, the legendary
DOOP captain who just returned from
a triumphant carpet-bombing of Eden
7, Zapp Brannigan.
[Everyone applauds and looks around in confusion. Zapp has gone.]
[Nimbus Bridge. The Nimbus has moved away from the headquarters.
Leela, Fry and Bender are handcuffed on the deserted bridge.
Zapp paces around.]
ZAPP
What makes a man turn neutral? Lust
for gold? Power? Or were you just born
with a heart full of neutrality?
[Kif points at the reception area on the viewscreen.]
KIF
Um, sir, you're supposed to be cutting
the ribbon right now.
ZAPP
No matter. I'll simply cut it from here
with the ships laser.
[He presses a button and a console comes out of the floor. Outside
the ship a huge laser appears from a hatch.]
KIF
Sir, I don't think that's wise.
ZAPP
Kif, if there's one thing I don't need
it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise
attitude.
[He grabs a handle on the console and moves it through Stun,
Kill and Hyperdeath ™. He presses the "Fire" button and shoots
a laser beam towards the space station.]
[Cut to: New DOOP Headquarters. The laser cuts the ribbon and
everyone applauds. The laser carries on cutting and cuts a huge
stone statue of Glab in half. Everyone gasps. The laser carries
on cutting and everyone stands gobsmacked. The station starts
rumbling and explodes. The reception area breaks off and hurtles
off into space with everyone still screaming.]
[Cut to: Nimbus Bridge.]
ZAPP
Whoopsie-daisy.
[Former DOOP Headquarters. The building in Weehauken, New Jersey,
is a ruin with boarded up windows and cracks in the walls. The
DOOP representitives are gathered for Zapp's trial, which Glab
precides. She bangs her gavel.]
GLAB
Zapp Brannigan, you stand accused of
blowing up DOOP headquarters. How do
you plead?
ZAPP
Absolutely 99% not guilty.
GLAB
Then the prosecutor will call his first
witness.
[The prosecutor is a giant, green, chicken with tiny glasses
perched on his beak. He stands up and speaks with a strong Southern
American accent.]
HYPER-CHICKEN
Your Honour, I'm just a simple Hyper-Chicken
from a backwoods asteroid but if it
please the court I reckon I'll call
the entire jury.
[Everyone gasps and murmurs.]
GLAB
I'm going to allow this.
HYPER-CHICKEN
Members of the jury ... ... did y'all
happen to catch a gander at who blew
up that there DOOP headquarters?
[They point at Zapp.]
JUROR #1
(simultaneously) That's the guy, right
there.
JUROR #2
(simultaneously) Oh, yeah, right there.
SMALL GLURMO #1
(simultaneously) That one.
HYPER-CHICKEN
And are y'all gonna vote to convict
him?
NEPTUNIAN
(simultaneously) You'd better believe
it.
JUROR #1
(simultaneously) You bet.
[Glab bangs her gavel.]
GLAB
The jury is instructed to disregard
its own testimony.
HYPER-CHICKEN
Your Honour, the prosecution rests.
[He clucks and covers his face with his wing.]
GLAB
The evidence against Zapp Brannigan
is strong. However, in light of his
years of service, and the incompetence
of this hillbilly prosecutor, I'm afraid
I must dismiss all charges.
[The crowd murmurs.]
LEELA
Dismiss all charges? Your Honour, I
know the case is closed and you've rendered
your verdict, but I wanna testify.
GLAB
I'm going to allow this.
[Time Lapse. Leela is sat in the witness box.]
HYPER-CHICKEN
Now, Miss Leela, on the date in question,
were you or were you not wearing a hoop
skirt?
LEELA
That's a stupid question. What matters
is Zapp Brannigan is the sorriest captain
I've ever seen, and I saw the idiot
blow up DOOP headquarters with my own
eye.
[The crowd gasps. Zapp stands up.]
ZAPP
I'd like to cross-examine the witness.
GLAB
I'm going to allow this.
[Zapp paces past Leela.]
ZAPP
We've met before have we not?
LEELA
(reluctantly) Yes.
ZAPP
And on that occasion, did you have sex
with someone? May I remind you you are
still under oath.
[Leela sighs.]
LEELA
(reluctantly) Yes.
ZAPP
Please point out the person in this
courtroom you had sex with. And his
name is?
LEELA
Zapp Brannigan.
ZAPP
The very same Zapp Brannigan who did
not blow up DOOP headquarters. I rest
my case.
GLAB
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you
may begin your deliberations.
[The jury files out through one door and returns immediately
through another. Small Glurmo #1 is the foreman.]
SMALL GLURMO #1
Your Honour, we have reached a verdict.
We find the defendant ... guilty.
[Leela hoots.]
GLAB
Zapp Brannigan, you are hereby stripped
of your rank as captain and dismissed
from the DOOP.
[Zapp cries as he turns and walks towards the door. He stops
before he reaches it and turns to the court.]
ZAPP
I'd like to make one final statement.
Kif c'mere and hold up the flag. And
wave it a little for God's sakes. My
friends, you can take away a man's title
and his uniform but you can never take
away his integrity or his honour. Plus
it was mostly Kif's fault.
[Kif drops the flag.]
KIF
What?
GLAB
Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of
your rank and dishonourably discharged.
[Kif stammers and sighs.]
[Outside Former DOOP Headquarters. Zapp and Kif emerge from the
building in civilian clothes.]
ZAPP
One day a man has everything, the next
day he blows up a $400 billion space
station and the next day he has nothing.
It makes you think.
KIF
No, it doesn't.
ZAPP
Come, Kif, it's time to begin our life
as civilians. That's an order, soldier.
[Kif reluctantly follows.]
[Montage Zapp and Kif wander through the streets of New New York
to Harry Nilsson's Everybody's Talkin' ŕ la Midnight Cowboy.
They stare into the window of a cafe and watch people eating
then turn to passers-by on the street. Kif starts to dance and
Zapp holds up a pot which passers by drop money into. Later that
night, Zapp stands on a street corner and a limo pulls up. The
window goes down and Zapp winks and offers himself to Hattie.
She shakes her head and points at Kif. Kif gasps and Zapp ushers
him into the car. The door closes and it speeds off.]
[Planet Express: Hangar. Fry and Bender wash the ship.]
FRY
Hey, Bender?
BENDER
Yeah?
[Fry squirts him with the hose and he giggles and throws his
sponge at Fry, who ducks. The sponge flies over his head and
hits Leela in the face.]
LEELA
Alright, this is the third hose fight
I've broken up today and the second
one using actual hoses. Now move your
lazy asses and start scrubbing the ship
like I ordered you to.
FRY
You don't have to get so mad, Leela.
BENDER
Yeah, Fry already wiped off some of
the dirt with his finger.
[He points at a doodle Fry has done of Leela and speech bubble
with "Yak Yak Yak" in it. Leela growls. The doorbell rings and
she goes to answer.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Entrance. She opens the door to a down-and-out
Zapp and Kif.]
LEELA
Zapp?
ZAPP
Leela, I didn't know where else to turn.
You're the only woman who ever loved
me.
LEELA
I never loved you.
ZAPP
I mean physically.
LEELA
What do you want?
ZAPP
Just let me work for a little food.
Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service
you sexually, or mop the floors.
LEELA
You don't know how to do any of those
things.
ZAPP
Kif might.
[Leela prepares to press the slam button when Farnsworth turns
up.]
FARNSWORTH
Leela, who are you talking to?
ZAPP
Just a broken-down hobo who's hit rock-bottom.
And his commanding officer.
FARNSWORTH
Why, you're that disgraced starship
captain. Having him on staff will distract
people from our horrendous safety record.
Come in.
[Planet Express: Meeting Room. Zapp and Kif join the crew around
the big table.]
FARNSWORTH
I'd like everyone to meet our new employees.
(whispering) Which ones are new?
HERMES
The green dude and the fat man.
FARNSWORTH
Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that
robot before either.
BENDER
I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.
FARNSWORTH
Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course.
Anyway, whoever you all are, I have
good news. You'll be making a delivery
to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high
gravity you'll most likely be crushed
under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy.
[The ship flies towards the green planet.]
[Cut to: Ships Cargo Bay. Zapp peers around the doorway and watches
Leela pilot the ship. He turns away and the door closes.]
ZAPP
So, this Leela. I know she's a very
sensuous woman but what manner of captain
is she?
FRY
She's really strict.
BENDER
And mean.
ZAPP
I see. Does she by any chance give the
crewmembers spankings?
FRY
No, she just makes us do work and stuff.
ZAPP
Good, good. But should she ever institute
some sort of bare-bottom spanking policy
let me go in your place. I won't have
my comrades harmed.
BENDER
Hey, this guy's alright!
[He takes some bottles of Löbrau out of his chest cabinet and
passes them around.]
ZAPP
Here's to us poor schmoes working for
the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy,
female man.
[They guzzle down the beers.]
[The ship goes into orbit around the planet.]
[Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Kif stands next to Leela.]
KIF
I've computed out landing co-ordinates,
Captain.
LEELA
Thanks, Kif. Very nice work.
[Kif sighs then stops.]
KIF
Wait, what?
LEELA
I said "very nice work".
KIF
This is the happiest day of my life.
[He hugs her.]
[Stumbos 4 Surface. The ship lands and the landing gear creaks
and groans under the immense gravity.]
[Cut to: Ships Cargo Bay. Leela has assembled Fry, Bender and
Zapp and holds a clipboard.]
LEELA
OK, crew, listen up. Your job is to
delivery these 40 pillows to that hotel.
[She points through the window at a hotel on a hill. Bender holds
a pillow.]
BENDER
They're not very heavy but you don't
hear me not complaining.
LEELA
They're not heavy in here because we
have an anti-grav pump. But once you
get out on the surface the gravity will
be very intense.
FRY
Hey, no prob', this lead apron'll protect
me.
[Leela rips it off him.]
LEELA
I don't want any screw-ups. Use the
hover-dolly and just deliver one pillow
at a time.
[She leaves.]
BENDER
Hey, here's an idea, let's deliver all
the pillows at once.
FRY
Yeah!
ZAPP
That's using the old noodle!
[Stumbos 4 Surface. The ships cargo lift comes down and Zapp
pushes the hover-dolly off it with all the pillows on it. The
three are hit by the enormous gravity. Bender struggles to stay
upright but his legs are crushed under him. Fry tries as well
but his legs buckle. Zapp struggles too.]
ZAPP
Come on, girdle. Hold!
[His girdle breaks and his huge flabby gut spills out from under
his sweatshirt. He groans. So does the hover-dolly. Then it breaks.]
BENDER
Uh-oh.
[Leela and Kif walk down the ships steps. Her hair is pushed
flat and Kif is squished.]
LEELA
What the hell happened?
BENDER
Some breaking occured, the dolly was
involved, that's about all we know.
LEELA
I told you dumb apes not to overload
it. Each of those pillows weighs 150lbs
here.
FRY
Alright, don't get your panties in a
knot. We'll just use the back-up dolly.
BENDER
I'll start loading up the pillows.
LEELA
No way, Jack. You disobeyed an order,
so now you have to deliver all 40 pillows
by hand.
ZAPP
Let me ask you a serious question, Leela:
Does the company that made your bra
make a girdle as well? I ask because
a friend of mine--
LEELA
Just get to work.
[Time Lapse. Fry, Zapp and Bender drag the pillows across the
surface, leaving huge furrows in the ground.]
BENDER
(mocking) I'm Leela, get to work, neh
neh neh.
FRY
I agree.
[Ships Cockpit. Leela looks bored stiff listening to Kif.]
KIF
The point is, it's just so humiliating
working for that man. Once, he actually
ordered me to ... shave his armpits
while he was in the bathtub. So, I said--
LEELA
Y'know, why don't we talk about something
besides Zapp for a while?
KIF
Oh, alright. Um ... well ... how 'bout
then, um...OK, well, there he was in
the tub, alright?
[Leela sighs.]
[Stumbos 4 Surface. Zapp, Fry and Bender continue the delivery.
They struggle and stop. Thunder cracks above.]
FRY
Ah, some good old high-gravity rain.
That'll cool us off.
[He holds his tongue out and the heavy rain knocks him to the
ground. They crawl under a rock out of the rain.]
BENDER
This is all Leela's fault.
FRY
Yeah. If she had let us use the back-up
dolly, we could have broken it, given
up and gone home by now.
ZAPP
Y'know boys, a good captain needs many
skills, such as boldness, daring and
a velour uniform. And I'm not convinced
Leela has any of those things.
FRY
Ah, Leela's not that bad. I just wish
she didn't make us work so much.
ZAPP
Back when I was captain all I asked
from my men was their complete loyalty.
If I had that, then for all I cared
they could sit around the whole day
drinking beer in their underpants.
BENDER
Beer?
FRY
Underpants?
[He and Bender look at each other and grin.]
[Ships Cockpit.]
KIF
But now, Zapp's not captain anymore.
I'm free! Oh, you hear that? I'm actually
laughing!
[Enter Zapp, Fry and Bender.]
FRY
This is a mutiny.
[Kif sighs.]
BENDER
You're outta here, lady. Zapp's the
new captain.
[Zapp handcuffs Leela. Fry already has his shirt off and raises
a beer.]
FRY
All hail the new captain.
[He unzips his trousers and lets them fall down.]
[The ship speeds away from Stumbos 4.]
[Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Zapp is sat in the pilot's seat.]
ZAPP
Leela, you might be a formidible do-er
of the nasty but I am forced to relieve
you of your post.
LEELA
On what grounds, you slobbering oaf?
ZAPP
Failure to prevent a mutiny. Throw her
in the brig.
FRY
We don't have a brig.
ZAPP
Then throw her in the laundry room,
which will hereafter be referred to
as "the brig".
[Ships Laundry Room. Bender and Fry lead Leela inside.]
LEELA
You really don't want me to be captain
anymore?
BENDER
You got it, genius.
LEELA
But, didn't I do a good job?
FRY
You were mean and you yelled and you
made us do all that work.
LEELA
Sometimes a captain needs to do those
things. Besides I, I thought we were
friends.
FRY
Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been
such a mean captain then.
[He turns and leaves.]
BENDER
Don't worry, Leela, soon we'll be able
to look back on this and laugh.
[He walks out, looks back and laughs insanely.]
[Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry and Bender return. Zapp is wearing
his DOOP uniform.]
ZAPP
Back in my old uniform, and it nearly
still fits. Even after all that fattening
hobo cuisine.
[Kif, back in his uniform too, holds up Zapp's other clothes.]
KIF
What shall I do with your civilian clothes,
sir?
ZAPP
Take them to the laundry-brig. So,
do I have your loyalty, men?
BENDER
To the ends of the universe.
FRY
Ten hundred percent!
ZAPP
That's not nearly loyal enough. I order
you to sit around and drink beer until
you're as loyal as Kif here.
[He hands them some beers and Kif returns.]
BENDER
Yes, sir, sir!
KIF
Um, may I have a beer, sir?
ZAPP
No. You're loyal enough already. Meanwhile,
I have a plan. We will single-handedly
attack our archenemy the Neutral Planet.
KIF
Oh, jeez.
ZAPP
Once the neutral war machine lies in
ruins, I'll be a hero again and the
DOOP will reinstate me as captain.
KIF
But, sir, that plan makes no sense.
ZAPP
Maybe not to you, Kif, but if I recall
correctly, you were court-martialed
in disgrace.
FRY
Ooh, burn!
BENDER
Nailed you, buddy!
[They clink their bottles.]
[The Planet Express ship flies towards the neutrally grey Neutral
Planet.]
[Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Zapp is in the pilot's seat and Fry and
Bender man their stations.]
ZAPP
Prepare to continue the epic struggle
between good and neutral.
FRY
This is awesome! We're gonna be like
pow-pow-pow, and they're gonna be like
... ... and then we'll have pancakes
to celebrate and I'll be like...
[He makes pancake-eating noises.]
ZAPP
Precisely. Now, in the name of all that
is good and honourable, we'll call the
Neutral President with a message of
peace, then blast him.
BENDER
Yes sir, sirdy-sir-sir-sir!
ZAPP
Fly the white flag of war.
[The white flag is hoisted on a flagpole atop the ships laser
turret.]
[Neutral Capitol. The Neutral headquarters, located in Neutropolis,
bears the motto "Live Free Or Don't". The Neutral President's
office is quite small and decorated with various shades of grey.
He sits at his desk and an aide stands next to him. Zapp is on
a huge wall screen.]
ZAPP
This is Zapp Brannigan of the good
ship ... Planet Express Ship. I come
swinging the olive branch of peace.
NEUTRAL PRESIDENT
All I know is my gut says maybe.
[Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Zapp turns the communication screen off.]
BENDER
What now, chief?
ZAPP
Now we crash the ship into their headquarters,
killing them in a hellish firestorm
from which no living thing can escape.
FRY
Good, good, then what?
ZAPP
Then your mission is complete. I, meanwhile,
will have ejected to safety, wearing
the only spacesuit on board.
[Fry and Bender cheer and high-five.]
FRY
Wait a second. Is this plan gonna kill
us?
ZAPP
Of course. What do you think I meant
by "loyalty"? Now help me into the only
spacesuit. It looks a bit sweaty in
there so you may need to apply baby
powder.
[Ships Laundry Room. Leela, still handcuffed, folds some sheets
while Kif pours some washing powder into a cup. Fry and Bender
run in.]
FRY
Leela, we want you to be captain again.
LEELA
Let me guess. He cancelled naptime?
He ran out of beer? So he's about
to kill us?
[They nod.]
[Ships Cockpit. Zapp is now wearing the spacesuit. Enter Leela,
Kif, Fry and Bender.]
FRY
We want Leela to be captain again.
ZAPP
So it's mutiny is it? I never thought
I'd see the day. Come, Kif, let's eject.
I found a children's spacesuit you can
wear.
KIF
To be honest, sir, I'd rather stay here
with Captain Leela. She actually listens
to what I have to--
[Leela shoves the helmet on his head and Zapp puts the suit on
him which is decorated with stars and planets. He picks him up
using a handle on the back and Kif kicks and mumbles before finally
sighing. They leave the room and fly away from the ship. Leela
wrestles with the wheel.]
LEELA
Oh, no! He's disabled the steering.
We're gonna crash!
BENDER
Leela save me ... and yourself, I guess
... and my banjo. And Fry.
LEELA
OK, OK. We have one chance. Are you
willing to do what I say as captain?
FRY
Absolutely.
LEELA
Even if I make you work hard?
BENDER
As your God is my witness.
LEELA
Then go get the hover-dolly you didn't
break and load all the dark matter into
the left engine.
BENDER
Oh, man, that crap's heavy.
FRY
And warm.
LEELA
Just do it.
[The ship streaks through the planet's atmosphere and starts
to burn up.]
[Cut to: Neutral Capitol. An alarm dings and the aide runs in.]
NEUTRAL PRESIDENT
If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".
[Ships Cockpit. Leela turns on the communication screen.]
LEELA
Hurry! I don't wanna die at the age
of 25.
BENDER
Honey, unless we hit a time warp, I
wouldn't worry about it.
[Cut to: Ships Engine Room. Fry and Bender pull the dolly towards
the left engine.]
FRY
It's too low.
BENDER
Quick.
[He lies underneath the dolly and Fry works him like a car jack,
tipping the pellets into the fire.]
[Cut to: Outside Ship. The ships engine flares up and it turns
away from the planet.]
[Ships Cockpit.]
LEELA
You did it! You actually did it!
[Fry and Bender cheer and high-five.]
FRY
And no one will have to punish anyone
for the mutiny.
[Former DOOP Headquarters. Everyone is back in the courtroom
again.]
ZAPP
And so, when Captain Leela panicked,
perhaps distracted by female troubles,
my quick thinking allowed me to do whatever
I did to save the day.
GLAB
Captain Leela, is this rambling story
of magic and heroism true?
LEELA
Well, actually--
FARNSWORTH
(whispering) That a girl! If they don't
take him back we can keep him as captain.
[Zapp winks at Leela and click-clicks. She stands up.]
LEELA
Your Honour, it's all true: My female
incompetence, Zapp's cat-like reflexes,
the stuff that made no sense, all of
it.
[The crowd gasps.]
GLAB
In that case, Zapp Brannigan, I hereby
restore your rank and parking privileges.
[She bangs her gavel and the crowd cheers. Fry hugs Bender and
high-fives Leela.]
FARNSWORTH
Oh, foo!
ZAPP
Come, Kif, we've got work to do.
[He mimes shaving his armpits and tosses Kif the razor. Kif sighs
and turns to Leela.]
KIF
I-I'll call and tell you about it.
[She sighs.]
[Planet Express: Hangar. Leela looks over the railings and watches
Fry and Bender scrub the ship.]
FRY
Leela, I just want you to know that
even though you're mean, you're the
best captain ever.
[Leela smiles.]
BENDER
Yeah, you're one dynamite lady. Can
we have a week off?
LEELA
No.
FRY
Please?
BENDER
Come on, Captain.
LEELA
Oh, alright.
[Farnsworth passes behind her.]
FARNSWORTH
No time off.
FRY
Aw, man.
LEELA
Let's mutiny!
THE END
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