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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 408

                                      "GODFELLAS"

                                           By

                                       Ken Keeler

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Please Turn Off All Cell Phones And 
               Tricorders.]
 
               
               [Ship's Cockpit. The ship streaks away from Earth and Leela casually 
               hums to herself whilst Fry monitors the controls. The ship suddenly 
               shakes and the two are thrown to the floor. An alarm wails and 
               two ships fly past and prepare to turn around. Leela gasps.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Space pirates!

               
                                     FRY
                         Space pirates?

               
                                     LEELA
                         You know, pirates - but in space.

               
               [The two ships look like old fashioned pirate ships and even 
               have sails. They circle the Planet Express ship and fire cannon 
               balls at it causing dents along the hull.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit. A pirate appears on the screen.]

               
                                     PIRATE [ON SCREEN]
                         Avast mateys!

               
               [Cut to: Pirate Ship. The pirate has three parrots along his 
               shoulder and has four legs, three of them wooden.]
 
               
                                     PIRATE
                         Electronically transfer your space doubloons 
                         afore I send thee to Davey Jarg's locker!
 
                         
               
               [He lights a cannon and sets it off.]

               
               [Cut to: Fry and Bender's Quarters. A dent appears in the wall 
               next to Bender's hammock and he wakes up.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Hey! Keep it down you kids! 
                         I'm trying to take a nap!
 
               
               [He reaches over to a shelf and picks up a box of ears plugs 
               and takes two out. Then he reaches over to another box, pulls 
               out two ears, attaches them to his head and puts the ear plugs 
               in.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit. Fry lines up an eyesight to one of the 
               pirate ships.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Come on, come on.

               
               [The eyesight locks on to the ship and Fry fires. The controls 
               look just like an old arcade game. Outside one of the pirate 
               ships explodes. Fry watches it.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Torpedo Room. Bender walks towards tube #3 and 
               opens it.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (muttering) ...make Bender take a nap 
                         in a tube.  (sexfully) Come back when 
                         I've had some sleep baby!
 
               
               [He closes the tube door.]

               
               [The pirate ship chases the Planet Express ship and the two ships 
               exchange fire. Leela steers the ship around and manages to get 
               behind the pirate ship.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry to battlestations. Fire torpedo 
                         number three.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Firing torpedo number three!

               
               [He flicks a switch, turns a knob, presses a button and selects 
               3 on an old fashioned telelphone dialier.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Torpedo Tube #3. Bender wakes up.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Huh? What?

               
               [He races forward with flaming feet.]

               
               [Cut to: Outside Ship. He flies out of the torpedo tube screaming.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit. Fry and Leela watch Bender through the 
               windscreen.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That's not torpedo three. That's not 
                         torpedo three at all.
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Ship. Bender screams.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Damn you Fry and Lee......la!

               
               [The pirate ship starts to spin widly out of control. The pirate 
               looks through the window sadly.]
 
               
                                     PIRATE [FROM SHIP]
                         Too late do I realise that my children 
                         are my only real treasures.
 
               
               [The ship explodes. Bender carries on flying.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Help! Mechanical man overboard!
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Go after him Leela!

               
               [Leela pushes the throttle forward. The ship's engines struggle 
               but they go no faster.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         It's no use. We were going full speed 
                         when we fired him so he's going even 
                         faster than that.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You mean we can never catch up to him? 
                         Not even if we rub the engine with cheetah 
                         blood?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         I don't know how to say this Fry. But 
                         Bender is doomed to drift through space...forever.
 
                         
               
               [Fry looks ahead through the windscreen.]

               
                                     FRY
                         (solemn) He always wanted to drift forever. 
                         But through the American Southwest.
 
                         
               
               [Bender continues flying through space still holding the bag 
               of swag.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'm going too fast. I've gotta lose 
                         momentum.  Ohh. I'm gonna spend eternity 
                         alone with barely any swag.  Ooo! Hey 
                         universe! Check out the dude with the 
                         rolex!  Wow! Ostentatious!  Except what 
                         good is a candelabra without - wait 
                         I know!  Ah the pity. Fated to drift 
                         forever through the void as gravity's 
                         plaything. Oh cruel fate, to be thusly 
                         boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. 
                         It bones for thee. The only thing that 
                         keeps me sane is the thought that I 
                         have all eternity in which to perfect 
                         my art.  Ohh!  Damn you!
 
               
               [He picks up the candelabra and uses it to smash up the piano.]
 
               
               
               [Time Lapse. Bender scratches something onto his door. It is 
               something similar to the sketch on the Pioneer space probe. But 
               the man and woman have a huge Bender standing above them growling.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         There. Now when I'm found in a million 
                         years people will know what the score 
                         was.  Hey what's bombarding me?  Oh 
                         no! An asteroid field. If even a pea 
                         sized asteroid were to whiz through 
                         my skull it could -  Ow! Hurt slightly! 
                          Well that was fun. Now for eons of 
                         loneliness.
 
               
               [Time Lapse. Muffled voices come from Bender's door.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Huh?

               
               [Several tiny things come from the asteroid on Bender's door. 
               He zooms in. They are little people.]
 
               
                                     SHRIMPKIN PRIEST
                         Fellow Shrimpkins, behold he who hath 
                         taken us unto his breast.
 
               
               [The Shrimpkims chatter.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Holy frijoles!

               
                                     SHRIMPKIN PRIEST
                         All bow before the great Metal Lord!
 
                         
               
               [The Shrimpkins bow.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Worshippers? This ought to liven up 
                         my endless tragic voyage.
 
               
               [He laughs insanely.]

               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     SHRIMPKIN PRIEST
                         All hail the Metal Lord!

               
                                     SHRIMPKINS
                         (chanting) So hailed!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hmm, those peewees think I'm God huh? 
                         Hard to blame 'em!  I am the Metal Lord. 
                         Who are you?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         I am called Malachi, Lord. It means, 
                         um, "He who really loves the Metal Lord."
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Listen here Malachi. Time for a religious 
                         donation. Hand over your wallet.
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         But Lord. We are a poor and simple folk.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Poor? Oh crap.

               
               [He takes Malachi off his eyes and zooms into the Shrimpkin village 
               on the asteroid. On the porch of Malachi's home his wife cross-stiches 
               something and his children play.]
 
               
               
                                     MALACHI'S WIFE
                         What art thou doing Malachi Jr?

               
               [Malachi Jr hugs a big pot.]

               
                                     MALACHI JR
                         I'm practising to hug daddy when he 
                         gets back from God.  Mmm! Mmm!
 
               
               [Bender retracts his eyes.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Eck! Gag unto me with a spoon! Malachi, 
                         it's high time I laid down a few commandments. 
                         You got a chisel? Take this down.  Number 
                         one -
 
               
               [Time Lapse. Malachi stands on a rock before the other Shrimpkins 
               holding a stone tablet.]
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         Behold: The One Commandment.

               
               [He holds up the tablet. Written on it is "God Needs Booze."]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Make it a double!

               
               [Planet Express: Attic. Farnsworth sniffs around on the smelloscope.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Can you find him Professor?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No. I'm afraid the smelloscope isn't 
                         powerful enough. Bender's odour is so 
                         mild it's being overpowered by local 
                         sources.
 
               
               [He, Fry and Leela glare at Zoidberg. He jumps up and claps with 
               delight.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Hooray, people are paying attention 
                         to me!
 
               
               [Fry walks towards the window and puts his hand on the glass. 
               Enter Amy, Hermes and a robot.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Fry, we brought someone to cheer you 
                         up.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         His name is Helper and he's eager to 
                         be your new best friend.
 
               
               [Helper looks a little bit like Bender but is more blocky looking.]
 
               
               
                                     HELPER
                         Hello there chum. I understand you miss 
                         your buddy! Have a pudding pop!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         No that's I don't -

               
                                     HELPER
                         Who wants to go to an amusement park?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Well, I guess that sounds OK.

               
                                     HELPER
                         Have a good time. Hey, I hear your friend 
                         Bender is back.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         What? Really?

               
                                     HELPER
                         No. I just thought you would enjoy that 
                         for a moment.
 
               
               [Bender drifts through space to Also Sprach Zarathustra. On his 
               body a huge beer tower has been built and the Shrimpkin village 
               has grown to include several fields.]
 
               
               [Time Lapse. Bender tastes the Lordweiser beer from the tower.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooo! Microbrewed! My guys did alright! 
                         I think I'll make my countenance to 
                         shine down upon them!  Malachi, good 
                         work. There's no slowing down with the 
                         Metal Lord tonight.
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         Yes, tonight is kind of special.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Wait a second. Did you rip off your 
                         own arm as a joke?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         Nay. Like most of your followers I was 
                         maimed while building the great brewery. 
                           Others died from the pestelent fumes 
                         it spewed forth.  And of course, the 
                         liquor industry attracted organised 
                         crime.
 
               
               [Mobsters drive past Malachi's home shooting at each other. Malachi's 
               wife gasps, picks up a gun and shoots at the cars. Bender watches.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Aw, it's all my fault. Malachi, tell 
                         thy people that the Lord is moved by 
                         their plight.
 
               
               [A tear drops from his eye. In the Shrimpkin village the tear 
               looks huge. It rushes towards the Shrimpkins and they scream 
               and run out of its way. The tidal wave washes through the village 
               and sweeps away Malachi Jr. He grabs hold of a branch. The villagers 
               gasp.]
 
               
                                     MALACHI'S WIFE
                         Malachi Jr, no!

               
                                     MALACHI JR
                         Daddy, I can't hold much longer. My 
                         arms are tired from hugging.
 
               
               [Malachi, back with his wife, falls to his knees.]

               
                                     MALACHI
                         Save him! Save my son oh Metal Lord!
 
                         
               
               [Bender rolls up his sleeves.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         This looks like a job for God!  What 
                         the? Malachi, what manner of deal is 
                         this with the chanting?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         They saw you save my son. Now everyone 
                         is praying for their own miracles.
 
                         
               
               [Bender sighs.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Very well. What do they want?

               
                                     MALACHI
                         The people of that village pray for 
                         wealth.
 
               
               [Bender pulls out a Coolio coin and tosses it to the Shrimpkins. 
               It flattens several houses. Bender screams and picks the coin 
               up again. He looks under the ruined houses.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Um, that was a practice miracle. Who's 
                         next?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         The farmers pray for sunlight so that 
                         their barley might make a more refreshing 
                         beer for today's God on the go.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Very well. Let there be light.

               
               [He closes his eye visor and reflects a star's rays onto the 
               farmers' fields.]
 
               
                                     FARMER #1
                         Yippee!

               
                                     FARMER #2
                         Hooray!

               
               [The fields burst into flames and so do the farmers.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         I got it I got it!  Um, when you're 
                         writing the Bible, you might want to 
                         omit that last miracle.
 
               
               [Fry and Bender's Lounge. Fry picks up a photo of Bender holding 
               him over the side of the Statue Of Liberty's torch. He sighs.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         He decided not to let go.  I can't believe 
                         you're gone. I won't! If I can't reach 
                         you physically, I'll just have to try 
                         something desperately crazy!
 
               
               [First Amalgamated Church. Fry sits in the priest's office.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         So that's my story Father Changstein 
                         el Gamahl. Is there anything religion 
                         can do to help me find my friend?
 
                         
               
                                     PRIEST
                         Well, we could join together in prayer.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Uh-huh but is there anything useful 
                         we can do?
 
               
                                     PRIEST
                         No.

               
               [Gypsy's Caravan. Fry revisits the fairground Gypsy that helped 
               Bender find out more about the Werecar virus.]
 
               
                                     GYPSY
                         Sure I hold sťance, channel your friend 
                         no problem. Insert coin.  I am your 
                         friend...Bonder.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Bonder? Is it really you?

               
                                     GYPSY
                         Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy $10.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Wait a minute. Bender's name isn't Bonder, 
                         it's Bender. You're a fraud!
 
               
                                     GYPSY
                         Look, you want false hope or not?

               
                                     FRY
                         Only if you don't have any real hope.
 
                         
               
                                     GYPSY
                         Well, there is perhaps one way. Have 
                         you heard of the Monks Of The Shubah?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I've not heard of them.

               
                                     GYPSY
                         They are an ancient order who believe 
                         God exists in the depths of space. They 
                         have built the universe's most powerful 
                         radio telescope, high in the Himalayas, 
                         to search for him.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You think they'd let me use it to look 
                         for Bender?
 
               
                                     GYPSY
                         What am I psychic? I mean yes! Yes, 
                         I'm sure they will. Yes.
 
               
               [Bender swims through space to The Blue Danube.]

               
                                     MALACHI
                         Oh Metal Lord, hear my prayer.

               
               [Bender sighs.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (irrate) Yes Malachi what is it this 
                         time?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         My Lord, the infidels on your back no 
                         longer believe in you. They say their 
                         prayers go unheeded.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Of course they're unheeded how am I 
                         supposed to hear prayers coming out 
                         of my ass?
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         They talk of war against the faithful. 
                         I beseech thee. Rise up against them, 
                         smite someone who deserves it for once.
 
                         
               
               [Bender sighs.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Malachi, every time I interfere I only 
                         make things worse. You're best off solving 
                         your own problems.
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         But, but Metal Lord.

               
                                     BENDER
                         What part of "nay" doesn't thou understand?
 
                         
               
               [Ed's Hiking Supplies & Spelunketeria. Fry talks to a salesman 
               behind a counter.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Sir, I'm outfitting an expedition to 
                         a monestary high in the Himalayas. I'll 
                         need a long sleeved coat.
 
               
               [The salesman hands him a coat.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Look, I miss Bender almost half as much 
                         as you do but you can't bring him back 
                         this way. It's hopeless.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You can't give up hope just because 
                         it's hopeless. You gotta hope even more 
                         and cover your ears and go "blah blah 
                         blah blah blah blah blah!"  (shouting) 
                         I'd also like a pack mule.
 
               
                                     SALESMAN
                         (shouting) At once sir!

               
               [He pulls down a fully equipt mule from a high shelf.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Well, you obviously won't listen to 
                         reason, so I guess I'll listen to idioticness 
                         and come with you. But we'll need a 
                         Sherpa to guide us.
 
               
               [The salesman reaches up to the high shelf with the hook and 
               jabs the Sherpa. He screams.]
 
               
               [On the porch of his home Malachi sits with his children and 
               wife and they read The Bible. By Bender With Malachi. On the 
               first page is a picture of Bender boxing a lion.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Now that's one Bible that doesn't disappoint 
                         on every page! Looks like my society's 
                         running pretty well without my meddling 
                         - huh?  Atomic bombs? Oh no! Those unbelievers 
                         from my backside must have found my 
                         nuclear pile!
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         Fear not my Lord, we shall be with you 
                         soon.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         You're with me now. This is the maximum 
                         level of being with me!
 
               
                                     MALACHI
                         We will solve our own problems as you 
                         commanded. The time has come to convert 
                         the unbelievers.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Convert them?

               
                                     MALACHI
                         To radioactive vapour!

               
               [Missile launchers rise up from the ground, fire and destroy 
               the village on Bender's ass.]
 
               
                                     MALACHI JR
                         Look Daddy! I'm hugging God! Mmm! Mmm! 
                         Maybe if I hug him real hard he'll save 
                         us from -
 
               
               [A radioactive shockwave vapourises the family and Bender cries.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         (crying) No!  (laughing) Ooo it tickles!
 
                         
               
               [He laughs some more and sighs.]

               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hello? Is anyone still alive? How about 
                         in the porno theatre?  Don't be embarrassed. 
                          (crying) They're dead. All dead. Who 
                         would have known playing God could have 
                         such terrible consequences?
 
               
               [He cries some more.]

               
               [Himalayas. The Sherpa, Fry, Leela and the mule walk through 
               the blizzard. The wind howls and the mule groans.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         (shouting) Fry, if I drop dead from 
                         exhaustion make sure my body freezes 
                         in a dignified position. None of that 
                         huddled over for warmth crap.
 
               
               [Time Lapse. They reach the summit. Fry gasps. In front of them 
               is a huge radio telescope and in he middle is the monastery.]
 
               
               
                                     SHERPA
                         Behold. The Monastery Of The Shubah. 
                         I must leave you now for I am not holy 
                         enough to enter.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         OK.

               
               [He bleches and spits. He and Leela walk towards an old wood 
               and rope bridge.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Looks rickety. We'd better test it.
 
                         
               
               [She pats the mule and it steps onto the bridge. The bridge moves 
               forward like a moving walkway.]
 
               
                                     FEMALE VOICE
                         Welcome to our monastery. Please stand 
                         to one side to let faster pilgrims by.
 
                         
               
               [Behind the mule Fry and Leela tap their feet impatiently.]
 
               
               
               [Bender is still crying. He hears a beeping and looks up.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hey, that galaxy's signalling in binary! 
                         I gotta signal back! But I only know 
                         enough binary to as where the bathroom 
                         is. (shouting) You speak English?
 
                         
               
                                     GALAXY
                         I do now.

               
               [It pulls Bender towards it.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         What are you some kind of galactic computer?
 
                         
               
                                     GALAXY
                         Possible. I am user friendly. My good 
                         chum.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Who built you?

               
                                     GALAXY
                         I have always been.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh my God. Are you God?

               
                                     GOD
                         Possible. I do feel compasson for all 
                         living things. My good chum.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         But why would God think in binary? Unless...you're 
                         not God, but the remains of a computerised 
                         space probe that collided with God.
 
                         
               
                                     GOD
                         That seems probable.

               
               [Monastery Of The Shubah. The radio dish tilts as the monks search 
               the sky.]
 
               
                                     MONK #1
                         A member of our brotherhood sits at 
                         these controls every hour of every day, 
                         scanning the heavens for God.
 
               
               [Monk #2, bored out of his skull, controls the dish. Suddenly 
               he sees something.]
 
               
                                     MONK #2
                         There he is! No. No, wait, no.

               
                                     LEELA
                         How long have you been at it?

               
                                     MONK #1
                         700 years. We've not yet examined one 
                         ten-millionth of the sky. But we will 
                         go on until we find the Almighty, even 
                         if it takes until the end of time.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         And then what?

               
                                     MONK #1
                         Then we utter unto him a short prayer. 
                         You see, the telescope is also an amplifying 
                         transmitter.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Sort of like a giant kareoke machine?
 
                         
               
                                     MONK #1
                         Not really. Would you like to see our 
                         giant kareoke machine?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Not really.

               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm, finding God, that - that's important, 
                         yeah. But you know what might be a treat 
                         for everyone? If you let me use the 
                         telescope to find my lost friend Bender.
 
                         
               
                                     MONK #1
                         I don't know what to say, other than 
                         absolutely not. Your loss is a tragedy 
                         but our work -
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Aw c'mon, you guys have forever to look 
                         for God. All I'm asking is one measley 
                         lifetime to find my friend.
 
               
                                     MONK #2
                         He speaks out of love for his friend. 
                         Perhaps that love in his heart is God!
 
                         
               
                                     MONK #1
                         Oh how convenient. A theory about God 
                         that doesn't require looking through 
                         a telescope. Get back to work!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That telescope is as much mine as it 
                         is anybody's. I'm using it whether you 
                         give me permission or not.
 
               
               [The four monks take up kung fu positions. Leela jumps forward.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Heyya! You're order may be famous for 
                         it's martial arts. But I've never met 
                         a holy man I couldn't clobber.
 
               
                                     MONK #1
                         Actually we only practice martial arts 
                         as a form of meditation. We are a strictly 
                         non-violent sect.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh. Then get in the laundry room or 
                         I'll kick your butts!
 
               
               [They file into the laundry room.]

               
                                     MONK #3
                         This is the worst crazy sect I've ever 
                         been in.
 
               
               [Fry slams the door behind them.]

               
               [Bender talks to God.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         So, do you know what I'm gonna do before 
                         I do it?
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Yes.

               
                                     BENDER
                         What if I do something different?

               
                                     GOD
                         Then I don't know that.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Cool cool! I bet a lot of people pray 
                         to you huh?
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Yes, but there are so many asking so 
                         much. After a while you just sorta tune 
                         it out.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Y'know, I was God once.

               
                                     GOD
                         Yes I saw. You were doing well until 
                         everyone died.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         It was awful. I tried helping them. 
                         I tried not helping them but in the 
                         end I couldn't do them any good. Do 
                         you think what I did was wrong?
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Right and wrong are just words. What 
                         matters is what you do.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah I know, that's why I asked if what 
                         I did - forget it.
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Bender, being God isn't easy, if you 
                         do too much, people get dependent. And 
                         if you do nothing, they lose hope. You 
                         have to use a light touch, like a safecracker 
                         or a pickpocket.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Or a guy who burns down the bar for 
                         the insurance money.
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Yes, if you make it look like an electrical 
                         thing. When you do things right, people 
                         won't be sure you've done anything at 
                         all.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Does that mean you wouldn't send me 
                         back to Earth even if I prayed to you?
 
                         
               
                                     GOD
                         Earth? Which way is that?

               
               [Bender looks around.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (sadly) I don't know.

               
               [Monastery Of The Shubah. Fry frantically turns the radio dish 
               around and shouts into the microphone.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Bender? Bender?

               
               [The monks knock on the door.]

               
               
               [Fry yells into the microphone.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hello? Has anyone out there seen Bender?
 
                         
               
                                     LRRR [ON SPEAKER]
                         No, quit asking.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, it's been three days. And even 
                         if you stay here the rest of your life, 
                         there is virtually no chance of finding 
                         him. It's time to give up.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (sadly) You're right. I'm never gonna 
                         see him again. I know he was evil and 
                         on more than one occasion he, he actually 
                         stole my blood.  But still, I wish I 
                         had Bender back.
 
               
               [Pullback: The radio telescope echos his words into the depths 
               of space and in a pullback lifted from Contact the signal reaches 
               God. Bender is asleep.]
 
               
                                     GOD
                         Huh?

               
               [Bender wakes up.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Huh? Wha? You say something?

               
                                     GOD
                         No, no. Well so long. Remember what 
                         we talked about.
 
               
               [He straps a parachute to Bender and throws him towards Earth. 
               Bender screams.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Himalayas. Fry and Leela make their way down the mountain. 
               Bender screams and falls through the atmosphere. Fry gasps.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Hot hot hot hot!

               
               [He screams and the parachute opens and he lands on the mountain 
               next to Fry and Leela. He is glowing red hot.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Bender! It's a miracle!  Ow!

               
                                     LEELA
                         This is by a wide margin the least likely 
                         thing that has ever happened.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Guys, you'll never believe what happened. 
                         First I was God then I met God!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         We climbed a mountain and locked up 
                         some monks.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh no the monks. We forgot to let them 
                         out of the laundry room.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Do we have to? I mean they're monks. 
                         I'm sure their God will let them out 
                         or at least give them more shoes to 
                         eat.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Fat chance. You can't count on God for 
                         jack. He pretty much told me so himself. 
                         Now come on. If we don't save those 
                         monks no one will!
 
               
               [He takes off his parachute and starts back up the mountain.]
 
               
               
               [Pullback: In another pullback, this time lifted from Men In 
               Black, God chuckles to Himself.]
 
               
                                     GOD
                         When you do things right, people won't 
                         be sure you've done anything at all.
 
                         
               
               THE END

               

Godfellas



Writers :   Ken Keeler
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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