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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 502

                                    "JURASSIC BARK"

                                           By

                                       Eric Kaplan

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Not Affiliated With Futurama Brass 
               Knuckle Co.]
 
               
               [Robot Arms Apartments: Fry and Bender's Apartment. Bender stands 
               in front of a mirror wearing a magician's outfit. Fry wears a 
               snazzy leotard. Bender speaks into the mirror.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ahem! For my next trick, notice I have 
                         nothing up my sleeves......and nothing 
                         in my head.  So if my lovely assistant 
                         will kindly supply me with an ordinary, 
                         non-fake pitcher of milk......behold 
                         the milk has vanished! Exiled, perhaps, 
                         to another dimension!
 
               
               [He bows to his "audience." As he bows milk drips out from his 
               chest cabinet. Fry applauds.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Amazing! That's why they call you "Bender 
                         The Magnificent"!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         No it isn't!

               
               [He throws the newspaper across the room into a bin. Fry sees 
               the headline: Archeologists Discover "Slice Of Old New York"]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Whoa! They discovered an intact, 20th 
                         Century pizzeria! Just like the one 
                         I used to work at!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Interesting. No wait the other thing 
                         - tedious!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Lets go check it out. You can see how 
                         I lived before I met you.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         You lived before you met me?

               
                                     FRY
                         Sure. Lots of people did.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Really?

               
               [Museum. Fry and Bender walk down a corridor to the exhibit. 
               Bender hums.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Museum: Pizzeria.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Truly, they were as Gods who build this 
                         place!
 
               
               [A tour group enters.]

               
                                     TOUR GUIDE
                         Next, we come to the splendidly preserved 
                         wooden pizza paddle.  Scientists theorise 
                         it was used to gently discipline the 
                         delivery boy.
 
               
               [Fry crouches next to the robot delivery boy and fiddles around 
               with his hair so it looks like his robot counterpart's. He notices 
               a menu on the wall. A menu which says "Panucci's Pizza."]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wait a second! This is Panucci's! I 
                         used to work in this exact pizzeria! 
                          And for your information lady, this 
                         was not just used to paddle my butt, 
                         it was also used to move pizzas and 
                         crush rats.
 
               
                                     TOUR GUIDE
                         I don't know where you get your facts 
                         sir but I am a volunteer housewife with 
                         45 minutes of orientation and a harlequin 
                         romance about archeologists!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Don't wave your fancy degrees at me. 
                         I recognise all this stuff.  Petrified 
                         sausages, Old Mr Patelli, and that's 
                         -
 
               
               [He gasps. There is a dog shaped black thing in the display case.]
 
               
               
               [Flashback - August 1997.]

               
               [Street. The dog sits in an alley scratching itself. It sees 
               Fry across the street delivering a pizza. Fry buzzes a buzzer.]
 
               
               
                                     VOICE [ON BUZZER.]
                         Yes?

               
                                     FRY
                         Pizza delivery for Mr......Seymour Asses.
 
                         
               
                                     VOICE [ON BUZZER.]
                         There's no one by that name here...or 
                         anywhere. I hope that in time you'll 
                         realise what an idiot you've been.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I wouldn't count on it.

               
               [Cut to: Alley. Fry sits leaning against a wall. He opens the 
               pizza box and takes out a slice and starts to eat it. The dog 
               crawls out from behind a dumpster and whines. Fry sees him.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Aww. Poor little guy. You look like 
                         you haven't eaten in a month. Here......but 
                         if Mr Panucci asks, your name is Seynour 
                         Asses!  I like you Seymour, you're not 
                         constantly judging me like all the other 
                         dogs - are you? Nah. We understand each 
                         other.  People think you're a dumb mutt 
                         who smells bad, can't find a girlfriend 
                         and has a crummy job. But you're keepin' 
                         it real and call no man "Mister."  Well 
                         goodbye.  Live long and prosper.
 
               
               [He rides away. Seymour watches.]

               
               [Cut to: Street. Seymour chases Fry, barking.]

               
               [Flashback ends. Bender reacts to the petrified dog.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Yuck! That's the least appetising calzone 
                         I've ever seen!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         No! That's my dog in there! It's an 
                         outrage I say!
 
               
               [He grabs Bender's foot, smashes the display case and takes Seymour. 
               Bender hops around holding his foot.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ow ow ow!

               
                                     FRY
                         I'm taking him home and I'd like to 
                         see anyone try and stop me.  Uh-oh!
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Street. The security guards literally throw Fry out 
               of the building. He bounces down the steps.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Ow, oo ow, oo ah!

               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         ...And then he was ejected by the guards. 
                         Needless to say, I was mortified.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Well it's not right to make my dead 
                         pet an exhibit. That's like digging 
                         up Lassie and putting her on display 
                         in the Louvre.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Lassie is on display in the Louvre.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I know, I was deliberately describing 
                         a similar situation.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Why don't you try protesting? Like those 
                         native Martians. Always whining that 
                         people don't treat their ancestor's 
                         bones with respect.
 
               
               [He takes a slurp from a mug which look suspiciously like a Martian 
               skull.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Nah, protesting never works.

               
                                     FRY
                         You're right.  I'll give it a shot!
 
                         
               
               [Street. Fry is outside the museum holding a sign and a megaphone.]
 
               
               
                                     CROWD (CHANTING)
                         What do you want?

               
               
                                     CROWD
                         (chanting) When do you want it?

               
               
                                     CROWD
                         Yaaay!

               
               
               [He turns on a tape dances to the Hustle. Leela reads a book.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         It says this part of The Hustle implores 
                         the Gods to grant a favour. Usually 
                         a Trans-AM.
 
               
               [Flashback - July 1998 The Summer Of "I Still Know What You Did 
               Last Summer."]
 
               
               [Street. Fry cycles down the street towards Panucci's singing.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY (SINGING)
                         I'm walking on sunshine! Ooo-oo-ooh! 
                          I'm walking on sunshine! Ooo-oo-ooh! 
                          At a boy Seymour! Right here waiting 
                         for me as always! Just like that huge 
                         mushroom in my shower!
 
               
               [He goes inside. Seymour follows through the dog flap.]

               
               [Cut to: Panucci's Pizza.]

               
                                     PANUCCI
                         Hey there's our little mascot!  Aww 
                         you been swimming in the sewer again? 
                          You little rascal!  Fry, cleanup!
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Seymour, cleanup!  Good dog!

               
                                     PANUCCI
                         That's a good Seymour!

               
               [A boy is playing an arcade game when he notices something is 
               wrong with his pizza.]
 
               
                                     BOY
                         Yo! There's dog fur on my slice!

               
                                     PANUCCI
                         Nah, that's vermicelli! No fur in here!
 
                         
               
               [He sneezes into the dough and continues rubbing it. Seymour 
               swims around in the tomato.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         He's so cute! He can do two things at 
                         one time: Eat and swim. Ooo - three 
                         things.
 
               
               [Flashback ends. Fry is still dancing. It is raining. The music 
               is getting muffled.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, its been three days. You can't 
                         keep boogie-ing like this. You'll come 
                         down with a fever of some sort.
 
               
               [Two men - Ben Beeler and his associate Ray - walk out of the 
               museum. Beeler introduces himself.]
 
               
                                     BEELER
                         Mr. Fry? I'm Dr Ben Beeler, the paleontologist 
                         who discovered your dog, or as some 
                         call it, the Beeler-saurus.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         So do I get Seymour back? Are you caving 
                         to political pressure?
 
               
                                     BEELER
                         No we're sorry but there's just too 
                         much that fossil can teach us about 
                         dogs from your time.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         His name was Seymour. He was once intimate 
                         with the leg of a wandering saxaphonist. 
                         He had wet dog smell, even when dry. 
                         And he was not above chasing the number 
                         29 bus.
 
               
                                     RAY
                         The 29? Interesting.

               
                                     BEELER
                         That's all I needed, Ray?

               
                                     RAY
                         I'm good.

               
                                     BEELER
                         OK then, here's your dog back.

               
               [He takes Seymour's black fossil out of his briefcase and hands 
               it to Fry. He hugs him and chuckles.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Seymour!

               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. Bender the Magnificent has sawn Dr Zoidberg 
               in half. Although his feet look oddly human.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Lady and Gentleman! How 'bout a hand 
                         for my temporary replacement assistant?
 
                         
               
               [Scruffy and Leela applaud. Zoidberg jumps out of one half of 
               the box. He is wearing Fry's leotard.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         I was all in this part! Its magic!
 
                         
               
               [Bender beats him with his wand as he speaks.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         You are not fit to wear Fry's leotard!
 
                         
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Stop!

               
               [Enter Farnsworth, Fry and Seymour.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Good news everyone!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hooray, he's back! He's looking for 
                         a garbage can to put that dog in! Here 
                         you go buddy!
 
               
               [He holds up a waste basket.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No, actually we've discovered Fry's 
                         dog was fast-fossilised, preserving 
                         it's cellular structure!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Which means...we can clone it! Seymour 
                         will live again!
 
               
               [Leela gasps.]

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         A little land mammal!

               
                                     FRY
                         Can you believe it Bender? I'm going 
                         to have my best friend back!
 
               
               [Bender turns away and starts to cry. His tears turn into balloons, 
               he cries doves and his antenna sprouts flowers.]
 
               
               [Planet Express: Attic. Farnsworth has set up his cloning machine. 
               The crew look on. Enter annoying moron Cubert.]
 
               
                                     CUBERT
                         Why the idiot convention?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ah Cubert, my precious babe. I'm going 
                         to attempt to clone Fry's dog. Using 
                         the very same apparatus I used to clone 
                         you!  Ooo look, there's a smidge of 
                         toe still in here.  You see, beneath 
                         the fossil's crunchy, mineral shell, 
                         there's still a creamy core of dog nougat!
 
                         
               
               [On the screen an arrow points to a yellow blob inside Seymour.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         So will Seymour remember how to sing 
                         Walking On Sunshine?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Amazingly yes. In cases of rapid fossilisation, 
                         I can press this brain scan button, 
                         retrieving Seymour's memories at the 
                         precise instant of doggy death!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm gonna get my puppy back! In your 
                         face, Grim Reaper!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Crappy ineffective Reaper!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I just need to reset the Clone-O-Mat 
                         from Human Mode to Dog Mode.
 
               
               [He turns a switch around to a picture of a dog. It is like a 
               child's toy.]
 
               
                                     WOMAN'S VOICE
                         The dog says 

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Uh-oh, this may take a while.

               
               [He bashes the switch.]

               
               [Flashback - December 31 1999. Fry is "teaching" a kid to play 
               an arcade game at Panucci's.]
 
               
                                     KID
                         You stink loser!

               
               [Panucci leans over the counter with the pizza.]

               
                                     PANUCCI
                         Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out. C'mon!

               
                                     FRY
                         But I'm celebrating New Years Eve.
 
                         
               
                                     PANUCCI
                         Like you got squat to celebrate! You're 
                         a delivery boy this millenium and you'll 
                         be a delivery boy next millenium!  What's 
                         with Seymour? Its like he don't want 
                         you to go. Or he thinks your pants is 
                         too short or somethin'. Which is crazy 
                         'cause frankly you look fabulous. Now 
                         get goin'!!
 
               
               [Street. Fry unlocks his bike. Seymour put his paw on the wheel 
               so Fry can't go anywhere.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I won't be gone long Seymour. Just wait 
                         here 'til I come back.
 
               
               [He rides off. Seymour sits, waiting.]

               
               [Applied Cryogenics. Fry knocks on a door marked Applied Cryogenics. 
               A sign underneath indicates No Power Failures Since 199[7]. No 
               one opens the door so Fry goes in.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. The room is empty and there are no lights 
               on. Weird pods line one of the walls. There are a few machines 
               around the room and a desk and a chair in the middle of the room. 
               Fry wipes some condesnsation from a window on one of the pods, 
               revealing the face of an inanimate man inside.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hello? Pizza delivery for......Icy Wiener?! 
                         Aw crud! I always thought at this point 
                         in my life I'd be the one making the 
                         crank calls!  Here's to another lousy 
                         Millenium.  What the?
 
               
               [He looks around and screams. In a flash he is frozen in time.]
 
               
               
               [Flashback ends.]

               
               [Robot Arms Apartments: Fry and Bender's Apartment. In the kitchen 
               Fry unloads dog food into the cupboards. Enter Bender who notices 
               a dog collar on the side.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         A dog collar for me?  You shouldn't 
                         have!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's for Seymour.

               
               [Bender takes it off.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh.  Say why'd you get me a subscription 
                         to the Daily Growl? That's not a reputable 
                         journal of opinion.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh that's also for Seymour. I'm getting 
                         everything ready for when he's cloned.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Are you on the jump Fry? Why are you 
                         wasting time on a creature of inferior 
                         intelligence?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey he was smart. He could fetch.

               
                                     BENDER
                         I can fetch.

               
               [He runs out then back in again carrying an Easter Island Head.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         He could dig up bones.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hello? Charlamange?  Plus, I'll bet 
                         he couldn't create a laser show with 
                         his head.
 
               
               [The lights go out and Bender creates a laser show with his head. 
               Grooby music plays.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Look Bender, this has nothing to do 
                         with you.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         That's impossible!

               
                                     FRY
                         Now if you'll excuse me I'm working 
                         on Seymour's doghouse.
 
               
               [He points to a kennel and holds a sign saying "Seymour" ready 
               to nail it on. Bender walks out.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         No one ever asks if Bender would like 
                         to live in a tiny little house. Not 
                         that I would. A tiny little house that 
                         says "Bender" on it.  Ow!
 
               
               [Flashback - January 1st 2000. ]

               
               [The Frys' House. Mr Fry is on the phone but can only hear Fry's 
               answerphone message.]
 
               
                                     FRY [ON ANSWERPHONE]
                         This is Fry. If you're calling about 
                         the used towels for sale, they're still 
                         available for $45 each.
 
               
               [The answerphone beeps.]

               
                                     MR FRY
                         Phil, it's your father. Where are you? 
                         You're holding up New Years brunch. 
                         Your brother can't wait any longer.
 
                         
               
               [Yancy picks up a sandwich.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         Hello first baloney of the new millenium! 
                          Ah here he comes. That's him and Seymour.
 
                         
               
               [Mr Fry opens the door and Seymour runs in barking.]

               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Well that's odd. Seymour's here but 
                         -  - Go! Go! Touchdown!! But where's 
                         Philip?
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         I'm tellin' you the Y2K computer's got 
                         him. We'll face burnin' roads, rivers 
                         explodin' and calculators transformed 
                         into SCUD missiles. There's nothing 
                         we can do.  What's that Seymour? You 
                         walking on sunshine?
 
               
               [He runs over to the door and scratches it.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         He's trying to tell us something. Maybe 
                         he can lead us to Philip.
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside The Frys' House. Seymour runs out the front 
               door.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Should we follow him?

               
                                     MR FRY
                         To our deaths? Negatory.

               
               [Cut to: The Frys' House.]

               
                                     MR FRY
                         It's the Y2K tryin' to lure us into 
                         an ambush. And I ain't buyin' it. Pass 
                         the baloney.
 
               
               [He eats a sandwich.]

               
               [Flashback ends.]

               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Amy wrestle while Fry stands 
               at the side holding Seymour. Leela pins Amy down.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Are you two gonna be done soon?

               
                                     LEELA
                         Sorry, but we need to practice hand 
                         to hand combat in case an enemy knocks 
                         the laser gun out of our hands and they 
                         slide waaay across the room.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Well could you do it some place else? 
                         I'm setting up Seymour's doggy bed.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK.

               
               [She drags Amy out of Fry's way. Fry kicks the mat out of the 
               way and puts Seymour's bed on the floor next to the couch. Enter 
               Bender and a Robo-Puppy.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Heel boy, heel! Oh hello Fry, I guess 
                         I didn't notice you there. I'm having 
                         such fun with my new best friend Robo-Puppy.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY (NOT CARING)
                         That's nice.

               
                                     BENDER
                         I was just out walking him. Yes. You 
                         can walk him. Of course, after he goes 
                         you have to refill the canisters. C'mere 
                         boy! Pet, pet, pet.
 
               
                                     ROBO-PUPPY
                         Robo-Puppy receiving petting.

               
                                     AMY
                         Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy? 
                         That's so adorable!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Jealous? Hah!  Not while I have the 
                         love of Robo-Puppy here. Robo-Puppy, 
                         lick my cheek.
 
               
                                     ROBO-PUPPY
                         Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek. 
                          Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking. 
                         Licking in progress. Licking complete.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Robo-Puppy truly is robots best friend! 
                         Eh?
 
               
               [Fry finishes the bed.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Ah there, perfect!

               
               [A fanfare sound sounds and a huge hologram of Farnsworth's head 
               appears in the room.]
 
               
                                     HOLO-FARNSWORTH
                         Good news everyone! The Clone-O-Mat 
                         is ready!
 
               
               [The hologram disappears.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Woohoo!

               
                                     AMY
                         Yay!

               
               [Leela slams Amy down.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Finally!

               
               [Bender growls.]

               
                                     ROBO-PUPPY
                         Robo-Puppy commencing two hour yipping 
                         session.  Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! 
                         Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
 
               
               [Planet Express: Attic. The crew are standing in front of the 
               Clone-O-Mat. The roof is open.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Behold once more the mighty Clone-O-Mat! 
                         Requiring such vast amounts of electricity 
                         that we must harness the elemental power 
                         of nature itself!  I speak of course...of 
                         molten lava! Deep within the Earth's 
                         core. To the sub-basement!
 
               
               [He pulls a lever and the Clone-O-Mat, crew and all go down.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Sub-Basement. Scruffy is pulling the 
               platform down. It topples but he rights it. Farnsworth steps 
               off.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Come on boy! Come back to life!

               
               
               [He pulls a chain and Seymour's DNA begins to be extracted. Enter 
               Bender The Magnificent.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Fry c'mon, the talent show!

               
                                     FRY
                         What? I'm in the middle of something.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         But, if we don't perform, in what sense 
                         do we have an act?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Bender, enough! Leave me alone!

               
                                     BENDER
                         So that's how it is huh? I thought you 
                         were my friend. But if you love your 
                         dog so much then maybe you'd rather 
                         play fetch!
 
               
               [He picks up Seymour and throws him into the molten lava.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         No!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Oh!

               
               [Seymour sinks. Fry gasps. Bender laughs and hugs Fry.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Now I'm all you got!

               
               [Time Lapse. Fry starts weakly hitting Bender.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I hate you! I hate you! You evil metal 
                         man!  Ow!
 
               
               [He falls to the floor and curls up.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         So anyway your dog is melted. Now we're 
                         friends again.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Not necessarily. For the dog may yet 
                         survive.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         May yet? Really?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Indeed. You see, that fossil was made 
                         of dolomite. The tough black mineral 
                         that won't cop out when there's heat 
                         all about. By contrast, observe the 
                         lava's affect on this ice swan.  Of 
                         course, that would have melted even 
                         at room temperature. I just wanted to 
                         get rid of it. But had it been made 
                         of that righteous mineral dolomite, 
                         there's a slim chance it might have 
                         survived.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         So Seymour might still exist?

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Perhaps. For a few minutes. It's dolomite 
                         baby!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Then I'm goin' in after him.

               
               [He takes his jacket off and rips off his shirt. He pulls off 
               his trousers and runs for the lava.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         No!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Stop!

               
                                     FRY
                         He'd come after me.

               
               [Flashback - January 1st 2000.]

               
               [Cut to: Street. Seymour runs down a street and looks in Panucci's 
               window. He sniffs Fry's hand and face prints on the pavement.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: 99c Store. Seymour runs in and sniffs a photo of Fry 
               underneath a notice saying "Do Not Take Checks From This Man"]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Itelli's Barber Shop. Seymour runs in and sniffs some 
               red hair clippings. He eats some.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Mr Putzz' Mini-Golf. Seymour looks through the railings.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Street. Seymour runs down the street and sniffs around. 
               A door opens and someone throws out a pizza box. A Panucci's 
               Pizza box. Seymour runs inside.]
 
               
               [Flashback ends. Fry takes a dive for the lava. Leela and Amy 
               push him to the ground.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Acting like a moron won't bring your 
                         dog back.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Then all hope is lost.  Goodbye Seymour.
 
                         
               
               [He cries.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Please stop crying Fry. Here.  I assumed 
                         you were just pretending to love the 
                         dog. To toy with my emotions. Oh what 
                         have I done?
 
               
               [He starts to cry.]

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         You didn't do anything. Don't beat yourself 
                         up.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Fry, I'm sorry. I should have understood 
                         how someone can love an inferior creature. 
                         Because I love you. Not in the way of 
                         the Ancient Greeks, but in the way a 
                         robot loves a human, a human loves a 
                         dog and occassionally, a gorilla loves 
                         a kitty.  I'm goin' in!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I'm a professor! Why isn't anyone listening 
                         to me? You can't go in because you'll 
                         melt. The fossil only has a chance because 
                         it's made of dolomite!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'm 40% dolomite!

               
               [He bags his chest and dives in. His hat and cape float on the 
               surface. Everyone gasps.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Lava.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh it's hot, it's very hot!

               
               [His casing starts to come apart.]

               
               [Flashback - January 1st 2000.]

               
               [Cryogenics Lab. Seymour barks at Fry, frozen in the cryo-tube. 
               A man fixes a radiator and a cryogenisist sits at his desk nursing 
               a hangover.]
 
               
                                     CRYOGENISIST
                         Ugh, I am one hungover cryogenisist! 
                         Just throw that mutt in the freezer 
                         until his owners get here!
 
               
                                     MAN
                         You can't solve all your problems by 
                         freezing them boss.
 
               
                                     CRYOGENISIST
                         I think you're forgetting our motto.
 
                         
               
               [He points at a sign that reads "You Can Solve All Your Problems 
               By Freezing Them!" Underneath in a cryo-tube is a woman with 
               a rolling pin and an apron. Probably the man's wife. Enter Mr 
               and Mrs Fry.]
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Are you the cryogenisist who called 
                         about our son's dog?
 
               
                                     CRYOGENISIST
                         Oh you must be the Fry's. Yeah he's 
                         right over there.
 
               
               [He points to Seymour who is still yelping at Fry's freezer.]
 
               
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Sorry we're late, we all got sick from 
                         eating bad baloney!
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Y2K!

               
               [Mr and Mrs Fry stand by Fry's freezer but they can't see him 
               inside.]
 
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         What's he so worked up about?

               
                                     MR FRY
                         He's just upset because our boy's missing. 
                          C'mon you overgrown rat. Lead us to 
                         Philip.
 
               
               [Seymour struggles to go back to Fry but Mr Fry drags him out.]
 
               
               
               [Flashback ends. Bender still hasn't returned to the surface.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Bender's been down there too long. I'm 
                         going in after him.
 
               
               [She starts to rip off her wrestling suit.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Professor! Lava! Hot!

               
                                     FRY
                         This is all my fault. I let my best 
                         friend risk his life just to get my 
                         dead dog back.  Bender!!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         And that is why they call me Bender 
                         The Magnificent!  Hey where'd everybody 
                         go?
 
               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         OK! Let's clone us some dog!

               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Very well. Let this abomination unto 
                         the Lord begin!  Interesting. It seems 
                         Seymour died at the ripe old age of 
                         15.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         15? You mean he lived for 12 more years 
                         after I got frozen?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Indeed.

               
                                     FRY
                         Stop the cloning.

               
               [He picks up a spanner and hits the Clone-O-Mat with it.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh sure! Smash the smart guy's machine!
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Fry, what's wrong?

               
                                     FRY
                         Think about it. Seymour lived a full 
                         life after I was gone. He probably added 
                         new songs to his repertoire.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         But that's a good thing. Walking On 
                         Sunshine sucks noodles!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I had Seymour 'til he was three. That's 
                         when I knew him and that's when I loved 
                         him.  I'll never forget him. But he 
                         forgot me a long long time ago.
 
               
               [He kisses Seymour and walks away.]

               
               [Flashback - January 2nd 2000. The song I Will Wait For You from 
               the film Les Parapluies de Cherbourg plays. Seymour sits outside 
               Panucci's Pizza waiting for Fry to come back. It changes to summer, 
               then autumn, a snowy and rainy winter and back to spring. Panucci 
               gives Seymour a slice of pizza. It goes through autumn and winter 
               again. Seymour starts to age a little. The "U" from the "Panucci's 
               Pizza" sign falls on a man. An aged Panucci pats Seymour on the 
               head. Seymour continues waiting for Fry to return, and closes 
               his eyes...]
 
               
               THE END

               
               

Jurassic Bark



Writers :   Eric Kaplan
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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