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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 310

                                  "LUCK OF THE FRYRISH"

                                           By

                                       Ron Weiner

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Broadcast Simultaneously One Year 
               In Future.]
 
               
               [(Old New York; The Past) Brooklyn Pre-Med Junior Hospital. A 
               woman is in labour in a delivery room. Her husband sits in the 
               corner reading Cold Warrior magazine. They are Fry's parents.]
 
               
               
                                     DOCTOR
                         Push Mrs Fry, push!

               
                                     MR FRY
                         You can do it honey! Squeeze one out 
                         for America!
 
               
               [He goes back to reading his magazine.]

               
                                     MRS FRY
                         (shouting) Hey keep it down it's the 
                         9th inning!
 
               
               [She holds a portable radio to her ear.]

               
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Swing the bat you bum!

               
               [The doctor lifts up a baby. It cries.]

               
                                     DOCTOR
                         It's a boy. And look at that red hair.
 
                         
               
                                     MR FRY
                         You sayin' my son's a commie?

               
               
               [Mrs Fry cheers.]

               
                                     MRS FRY
                         This is the happiest day of my life!
 
                         
               
               [The doctor puts the baby on her lap.]

               
                                     DOCTOR
                         Here's your baby ma'am.

               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Yeah OK thanks.

               
                                     MR FRY
                         So, what should we name him?

               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Uh, you pick. I picked dinner last night.
 
                         
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Well, I was thinking Philip. After those 
                         screwdrivers?
 
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         That's a fantastic idea. More morphine 
                         please.
 
               
               [Hospital Room. Mr Fry puts Philip in a bed and introduces his 
               brother to him.]
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Look Yancy, its your baby brother Philip.
 
                         
               
                                     YANCY
                         I wanna be named Philip! Me Philip! 
                         Me Philip!
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Son your name is Yancy, just like me 
                         and my grandfather and so on. All the 
                         way back to minuteman Yancy Fry, who 
                         blasted commies in the American Revolution. 
                          Philip, until I find a suitable model 
                         of an ICBM you'll have to make do learnin' 
                         to fear this toy spacecraft.
 
               
               [He turns the mobile on and leaves. Philip laughs as the mobile 
               turns around. Yancy snatches away the rocket.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Mine! Mine!

               
               [Philip starts crying. Yancy throws the rocket out the window.]
 
               
               
               [Fade to: (The Present (i.e. The Future)) The Planet Express 
               ship flies down to Earth and lands in the car park outside Flushing 
               Downs.]
 
               
               [Flushing Downs Stands. The horse race starts and the crew stand 
               up and cheer.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (shouting) C'mon!

               
                                     HERMES
                         (shouting) Baby needs a new pair of 
                         shoes!
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         To hell with your spoiled baby, I need 
                         those shoes!
 
               
               [The horses cross the finish line.]

               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No fair! You changed the outcome by 
                         measuring it.
 
               
               [He tears up his slip. Fry looks through some binoculars.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         How'd you do Fry?

               
                                     FRY
                         I'll tell you when my horse finishes...bad.
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Flushing Downs Luxury Box. Mr and Mrs Wong and Amy stand 
               talking in the box while a classy orchestra plays for them.]
 
               
               
                                     MR WONG
                         In today's field we own four horses 
                         and two jockeys.
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         We just put our best jockey out to stud 
                         Amy, he's perfect for you!
 
               
               [The very short jockey strolls up behind Amy.]

               
                                     JOCKEY
                         Hey baby, ever do it in a suitcase?
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Flushing Downs Stand.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooo look! It's the centaur race!

               
               [The bells rings and the centaurs start running around the track, 
               horsewhipping themselves as they go. Fry crosses his fingers.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Come on, come on! Hey Leela, how 'bout 
                         a kiss for good luck?  I meant tongue 
                         luck.
 
               
               [The centaurs cross the finish line.]

               
               
               [Fry groans.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I am so unlucky! I've run over black 
                         cats that were luckier than me.
 
               
               [Flushing Downs Horse D'Oeuvres Stand.]

               
                                     MAN
                         Get your piping hot horse burgers, horse 
                         fries, horse cake and shakes. We got 
                         tongue straight from the horse's mouth.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hmm.

               
                                     HERMES
                         It all sounds good.

               
                                     MAN
                         All our horses are 100% horse fed for 
                         that double juiced in horse goodness.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         I'll have a cholesterol free omelette 
                         with horse beaters.
 
               
                                     MAN
                         And you sir, how can I horse you?

               
                                     HERMES
                         I'll have a horse coke.

               
                                     MAN
                         Horse Pepsi OK?

               
                                     HERMES
                         Neigh.

               
               [Flushing Downs Stables. Bender sneaks in disguised as a horse. 
               He innocently whistles and injects a horse with Comatonin. It 
               yawns. Bender chuckles. The jockey runs in behind him.]
 
               
                                     JOCKEY
                         Hey what are you doing?

               
                                     BENDER
                         This.

               
               [He injects the jockey and he falls over asleep.]

               
               [Flushing Downs Stand. Bender is back with the group. Fry prays.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Dear Horse God, I know I don't usually 
                         pray to you, sometimes I doubt you even 
                         exist. But if you're willing to grant 
                         me luck, please, stamp your hoof once. 
                          Come on number six move it!  Don't 
                         do that! What are you -  Man it's contagious!
 
                         
               
               [The one horse that started the race gallops over the finish 
               line.]
 
               
               
               [Bender's slip flashes. He has won $2500. He cheers.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         That'll teach those other horses to 
                         take drugs!
 
               
               [Fry tears up his slip.]

               
                                     FRY
                         That's it! You can only take my money 
                         for so long before you take it all, 
                         and I say enough.  I've got one dollar 
                         left, and this one I'm holding onto! 
                          Oh no you don't!  I may not know much 
                         about horses but I know a lot about 
                         doing anything for one dollar!  If you 
                         think bad luck can defeat me then you 
                         don't know my name is Philip J -
 
               
               [He reaches over to the wire with the rake but it electrocutes 
               him. He pulls the rake away and breathes a sigh of relief. Then 
               he gets struck by lightning and falls.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Flushing Downs. Fry has landed upside down in 
               a dustbin and is smoking from the lightning strike. The Horse 
               D'Oeuvres man comes outside through a door carrying a bucket 
               of horse leftovers.]
 
               
                                     MAN
                         That is one unlucky guy!

               
               [He pours the bucket over Fry and leaves.]

               
               [Fade to: (The Past) Basketball Court. 12 year old Fry dribbles 
               the ball where Yancy can't get to it.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Kareem's got the skyhook but Philip 
                         J. Fry's got the spacehook!
 
               
               [He throws the ball but it bounces off the basket. Yancy chases 
               after it and dribbles it back to the basket.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Yancy drives, he goes up with his patented 
                         spacehook!
 
               
               [He throws the ball and it goes through the hoop.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hey. That's my patented spacehook! You 
                         stole it!
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         You're not the president of it!

               
               [He points at the ball and Fry runs to get it. He looks across 
               at the grass next to him and sees something growing there. A 
               seven leaf clover. He picks it up.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Holy camolie! A seven leaf clover!
 
                         
               
                                     YANCY
                         (shouting) I'm dying of old age!

               
               [Fry tucks the clover into his sweatband and dribbles the ball 
               back onto the court. He shoots, Yancy jumps to get the ball but 
               misses and the ball goes through the hoop. Fry cheers.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Phil wins! Yancy's fans are stunned! 
                         There'll be no celebration at the Yancy 
                         dome!
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Lucky.

               
               [Fry takes the clover out from his sweatband and gawps at it.]
 
               
               
               [Fade to: (The Present) Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew 
               are gathered around the table. Fry is nearly bald from the lightning 
               strike and Bender whistles while he counts his winnings.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well someone's in a good mode.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Let's just say I lucked out at the track! 
                         Also I rigged one race.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Pah. I'd have won a lot of money too 
                         if I still had my lucky seven leaf clover. 
                         Plus I'd still have my hair.
 
               
               [Enter a Hairbot which has replacement hair for the crew growing 
               on it.]
 
               
                                     HAIRBOT
                         I got your page Mr Fry, your new hair 
                         is ready!
 
               
               [He takes the hair off his head and puts it on Fry's head. Fry 
               shuffles it into place.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         So whatever happened to this seven leaf 
                         clover?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I hid it in a secret hiding place who's 
                         location I never told anyone. Not even 
                         Scruffy.
 
               
               [Scruffy leans against the doorframe suspiciously and walks out.]
 
               
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         So the clover is still in the hiding 
                         place maybe?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey yeah! Maybe it is still there! Underground 
                         in the ruins of Old New York. Helping 
                         some ant defeat another ant or helping 
                         some piece of dirt turn it's luck around.
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dirt doesn't need luck.

               
                                     FRY
                         I'm going down there to get my clover 
                         back. Now some of the tunnels have metal 
                         bars so I'll need someone who's good 
                         at bending. Leela how 'bout you?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Sure I'll do it.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Like hell you will. Bending's my middle 
                         name.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         It is?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Yep. My full name is Bender Bending 
                         Rodriguez
 
               
               [Street. In the middle of the road Fry lifts a PJ's manhole cover.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Here's the entrance.  From this moment 
                         on I declare my bad luck officially 
                         over.
 
               
               [The ladder gives way beneath him and he plummets into the darkness 
               then lands in a heap. Bender and Leela peer into the hole.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         He was fun.

               
               [Ruins Of Old New York. Fry, Bender and Leela walk down a deserted 
               ruined street. Leela holds up her wrist thing.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well if we get bored I've got Tetris 
                         on this thing.
 
               
               [The crew come to the edge of a cliff top and ahead of them are 
               lots of ruined buildings.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Look, up ahead.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Old New York. The city that inspired 
                         a casino in Las Vegas.
 
               
               [Time Lapse. They continue walking down a street.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Wow! We've got Manhattan all to ourselves! 
                         I can finally do all the crazy stuff 
                         I always dreamed of doing!  Howard Stern 
                         s overrated!  Uh, oops!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         New York is so burned.

               
                                     FRY
                         And remember when Mayor Giuliani cracked 
                         down on jaywalking?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         No.

               
                                     FRY
                         Well Rudy, how'd you like this action?
 
                         
               
               [He walks across the road and a huge lizard flattens him.]

               
               [Fade to: (The Past) New York Street. A bunch of guys dressed 
               in late 80s crap stand around. Fry and Yancy are with them.]
 
               
               
                                     GUY #1
                         As you know the big breakdance is Saturday. 
                         So if we wanna win those Jam Master 
                         J autographed parachute pants our crew 
                         has to pop, lock and bust the freshest. 
                         Noticwably F.A.T., drop us a beat.  
                         Name?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Cosmic F.

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Style?

               
                                     FRY
                         Outer space.

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Special moves?

               
                                     FRY
                         The moonwalk...the robot...the zero 
                         G!
 
               
               [He steps back and Yancy steps forward.]

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Name?

               
                                     YANCY
                         Cosmic Y.

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Style?

               
                                     YANCY
                         Uh, deep space!

               
                                     FRY
                         Deep space??

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Special moves?

               
                                     YANCY
                         The spacewalk...

               
               [He copies Fry's moonwalk.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hey!

               
                                     YANCY
                         ...The robot...

               
               [He copies Fry's robot.]

               
                                     FRY
                         The robot? That's similar to mine!
 
                         
               
                                     YANCY
                         The zero G!

               
               [He copies Fry's zero G.]

               
                                     FRY
                         What are you doing? You totally ripped 
                         off my routine.
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         You callin' me a biter?

               
               [Noticeably F.A.T. stops beating and everyone gasps.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Why do you always have to steal everything 
                         from me Yancy? Find your own life and 
                         live it.
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Stop illin'! Word!

               
                                     FRY
                         Well I'd like to see you try and steal 
                         this. the septuple head spin.
 
               
               [Everyone gasps.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         He's just scratching. No one's ever 
                         done more than a quadruple.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh yeah? Noticeably F.A.T., rewind the 
                         tape.
 
               
               [And he does. Fry pulls the clover out of his shoe and tucks 
               it into the sweatband on his head. He does the head spin.]
 
               
               
                                     GUY #1
                         Crazy sucker!

               
                                     GUY #2
                         Phil, you're hot!

               
                                     NOTICEABLY F.A.T.
                         That was ice cold bro!

               
                                     GUY #1
                         Fry if I ever see you try anything that 
                         crazy again, this crew might just have 
                         some new parachute pants!
 
               
               [Everyone cheers and Fry gawps at the clover again.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         Stop hogging the clover.

               
               [He struggles to get it from Fry. Fry pushes him away and runs 
               away. Yancy chases him.]
 
               
               [Fade to: (The Present) Ruins Of Old New York. Fry gets up off 
               the road and dusts himself off.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Alright team, let's go find that clover!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Which way to your house? The sign says 
                         we're at 71st street.
 
               
               [Fry looks at the sign.]

               
                                     FRY
                         71st street? Hmm, never heard of it. 
                         Downtown could be in any direction.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         No sweat, we'll just take a spin on 
                         the B-train!
 
               
               [Cut to: Ruined Station. Bender attaches himself to the train 
               tracks and electricity shoots through him and he giggles.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooo that feels funny!  This is the Brooklyn 
                         bound B-train making local stops at 
                         wherever the hell I feel like. Watch 
                         for the closing doors.
 
               
               [He makes a bing bong noise and sets off down the track.]

               
               [Newkirk Avenue Station Ruins. Bender stops at the station and 
               Fry and Leela get off. A hobo is asleep on Bender's back.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Wake up buddy end of the line!

               
               [The hobo mutters and climbs off. Fry looks around.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Gosh my old neighbourhood!  That's the 
                         bench where I found some shirts!  That 
                         fire hydrant! In summer we'd light it 
                         on fire! On that corner, some guy with 
                         a bushy beard handed out a socialist 
                         newsletter!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Was it poorly xeroxed?

               
                                     FRY
                         You'd better believe it!

               
                                     LEELA
                         The old comedians were right, this place 
                         is a lot different from LA!
 
               
               [A mutant pokes his head up through a sewer grate.]

               
                                     MUTANT
                         Pardon me but did I overhear you saying 
                         you used to live here?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's right.

               
                                     MUTANT
                         Did you know Andy Goldman?

               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah, he was my neighbour. Why?

               
                                     MUTANT
                         I mutated from him!

               
                                     FRY
                         Get out of here! What's Andy up to these 
                         days?
 
               
               [Andy's head suddenly pokes out from the mutant's chest.]

               
                                     ANDY
                         The short answer is I'm teaching.

               
               [The mutant disappears back into the sewer.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         He seemed nice.

               
                                     FRY
                         Sure when he's sober!

               
               [Outside The Ruins Of The Frys' House.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Holy camolies! The house I grew up in! 
                         It's still there!
 
               
               [The house is a battered ruin.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Man, father time really took a bat to 
                         this place.
 
               
               [Fade to: (The Past) Outside The Frys' House. It looks exactly 
               the same. Yancy chases Fry into the house.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         That stupid clover is a worthless piece 
                         of garbage! Give it give it give it!
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: The Frys' Living Room. Mrs Fry is playing miniature 
               golf.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                          Mom! Help!

               
               [Mrs Fry hits the golf ball and breaks the cup she was aiming 
               for.]
 
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Yes!

               
               [Enter Fry and Yancy.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Mom, Yancy's trying to steal my clover.
 
                         
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         (uninterested) Yancy, stealing is wrong.
 
                         
               
               [Yancy starts chasing Fry again.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         I'm gonna pile drive you!  You're dead 
                         meat!
 
               
               [Cut to: The Frys' Basement. Mr Fry reassembles a torch.]

               
                                     MR FRY
                         What's happenin' up there? Did Kremlin 
                         Joe let fly with the nukes?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Not yet commander. Yancy's just trying 
                         to steal my stuff as usual.
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Well he'd better keep his hands off 
                         these bananas. Gonna need them when 
                         the radiation turns us all into monkeys.
 
                         
               
               [He lifts a crate of bananas onto the table and climbs the ladder 
               out of the basement. Fry pulls a sheet off something and takes 
               his clover out of his pocket.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         The Ronco Record Vault! Yancy'll never 
                         get his hands on you in here or my money 
                         back.  Ah The Breakfast Club soundtrack! 
                         Man I can't wait til I'm old enough 
                         to feel ways about stuff!  Stay safe 
                         clover. I may need you again someday.
 
                         
               
               [He runs up the stairs.]

               
               [Fade to: (The Present) The Ruins Of The Frys' Basement. Enter 
               Fry, Leela and Bender.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         This was the storage room. My dad spent 
                         years turning it into a bomb shelter.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         And yet you guys never had a single 
                         nuclear war.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         What a waste.

               
                                     FRY
                         This is it! My Ronco Record Vault!  
                         I still remember the combination.  Three. 
                          It's stuck.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         The Achilles heel of the Ronco design 
                         is it's structural resonance frequency. 
                         Allow me.  There we go!
 
               
               [Fry pulls out the record.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Here it is. The Breakfast Club soundtrack.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         You mean breakfast club sandwich?

               
                                     FRY
                         I hid my seven leaf clover in this very 
                         record jacket so my brother Yancy wouldn't 
                         get it.  Here goes.  It's gone!  the 
                         whole place has been cleaned out! Yancy 
                         stole my clover! That thief!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         How do you know it didn't disintergrate?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Everything else in here held up OK.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Except Sports by Huey Lewis.

               
               [The Ruins Of Prospect Park. Fry, Leela and Bender walk back 
               up the street without the clover.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I don't know why my brother hated me 
                         so much.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Aw, brothers always fight. I'm sure 
                         deep down he loved you. He just never 
                         got a chance to say it before you got 
                         frozen.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You think? 'Cause I always kinda wished 
                         that -
 
               
               [He gasps. In front of them is a huge statue.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Who is that God-like figure?

               
                                     FRY
                         It's my brother Yancy! And there in 
                         his lapel - my seven leaf clover! I 
                         knew he stole it.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hold the phone. If that's Yancy then 
                         why does the inscription read Philip 
                         J. Fry?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wait a second! That's my name! Good 
                         Lord. He ditched his goofy name and 
                         stole mine!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Apparently this brave adonis, this cadillac 
                         of men, was the first person on Mars.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         First person on Mars?? I should have 
                         been the first person on Mars! He stole 
                         my clover, he stole my name and he stole 
                         my life!  And now he broke my hand.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         His legend lives on.

               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The statue now stands in the room.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         So you opened the record vault and the 
                         clover was gone?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yep, nothing in there but all the best 
                         music of the 1980's in one amazing collection.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Survivor, Pat Benetar, The Scorpions. 
                         The list goes on.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That clover helped my ratfink brother 
                         steal my dream of going into space. 
                         Now I'll never get there.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         You went there this morning for doughnuts.
 
                         
               
               [Hermes reads the statue's inscription.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         First person on Mars? Oh so your brother 
                         was that Philip J. Fry!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm Philip J. Fry! He stole my name 
                         after I got frozen.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Shut up friends. My internet browser 
                         heard us saying the word "Fry" and it 
                         found a movie about Philip J. Fry for 
                         us.  It alwso opened my calendar to 
                         Friday and ordered me some French fries.
 
                         
               
               [An image of Yancy appears on the screen and changes as the narrator 
               narrates.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         That should have been me!

               
               [In the movie Yancy board a small plane.]

               
               
               [Yancy closes the plane's door and a picture of the clover is 
               on it.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's my clover! Yancy stole it!

               
               
                                     FRY
                         That's what I'm known for!

               
                                     MAN [IN MOVIE]
                         Phil came in right, sturmmed out this 
                         tune yeah. And I said "That's a number 
                         one record!"
 
               
               [The scene changes to an cemetary orbitting the Earth.]

               
               
                                     FRY
                         So that's where my clover is? Hey, is 
                         that orbitting cemetary near here?
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         It will be in a couple hours.

               
                                     FRY
                         Good. Leela, Bender, we're going graverobbing.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'll get my kit.

               
               [Fade to: (The Past) The Frys' Living Room. A woman slips a camoflage 
               tuxedo onto Yancy.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Thanks for lending me your tux Dad. 
                         It'll be perfect for my wedding.
 
               
                                     MR FRY
                         Yancy, that tux got me through Nam in 
                         style!  I just wish your brother were 
                         still around to see this.
 
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         I'll never forget the day Philip disappeared. 
                         Wisconsin won the rose bowl 17-9. Oh 
                         I miss him.
 
               
               [Mr Fry pats her leg.]

               
                                     YANCY
                         Oh that reminds me. I was thinking of 
                         rummaging through Phil's records for 
                         something to play at the wedding.
 
                         
               
                                     MRS FRY
                         Have a look downstairs. Your brother 
                         may be missing but his crap sure isn't.
 
                         
               
               [The Frys' Basement. Yancy sorts through a box marked Phil's 
               Stuff. He gets out a Whitefish flag and puts it to one side. 
               He pulls out a piece of paper with a crude drawing of a rocket 
               and a figure standing on top of it. The figure is labelled "Phil" 
               and at the bottom of the paper is "By Philip Fry Aged 20". Yancy 
               folds it up and puts it in his pocket. He tries Fry's record 
               vault but it won't open. He gets a pot of Doh-Doh out from the 
               box, sticks it to the vault, lights it and blows the door open. 
               He pulls out a random record.]
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Hmm Breakfast Club, this'll clear out 
                         the room at the end of the reception.
 
                         
               
               [He flips the record over and the clover falls out of the sleeve. 
               He picks it up and gasps.]
 
               
               [Fade to: (The Present) The Planet Express flies up from the 
               Earth and lands inside Orbitting Meadows National Cemetary.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Orbitting Meadows National Cemetary.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         They buried your brother in the world 
                         heroes section? I'm impressed.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I should be the one in that grave!
 
                         
               
               [The pass two guards who salute. Fry and Leela salute them and 
               Bender whacks his head with the spade.]
 
               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm. We lost Bender.

               
               [Bender is digging up a nearby grave.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         There. Now no one will be able to say 
                         I don't own John Larroquette's spine!
 
                         
               
               [Time Lapse. The crew approach Yancy's grave.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Aha! My brother's grave!

               
               [The monument on top of the grave is in the shape of a rocket 
               and Yancy is chiselled onto it. Leela reads the inscription.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         (reading) Philip Fry, the original Martian.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         It's all lies every word of it! He wasn't 
                         original, he wasn't a Martian, he wasn't 
                         Philip Fry and since when is he a the?
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         You're twice the the he ever was.

               
                                     FRY
                         It's clovering time!

               
               [They start to dig. Fry hits the monument with his spade and 
               knocks some moss off it. He reads the hidden inscription.]
 
               
               
               [Fade to: (The Past) Yancy's House. Yancy's wife nurses a baby 
               while Yancy stands over them.
 
               
                                     YANCY'S WIFE
                         So, had any ideas for names Yancy?
 
                         
               
                                     YANCY
                         Uh, I'm sorta thinking one.  Daddy has 
                         a present for you today. Do you know 
                         what it is?  It's a lucky clover that 
                         can help you be successful at anything 
                         you do - even breakdancing - and it 
                         once belonged to someone very special.
 
                         
               
                                     YANCY'S WIFE
                         I know what name you wanna give him 
                         Yancy. It's OK.
 
               
                                     YANCY
                         Really?  Son, I'm naming you Philip 
                         J. Fry in honour of my little brother, 
                         who I miss every day. I love you Philip, 
                         and I always will.
 
               
               [He looks across the room. Hanging over the baby's cot is the 
               picture Fry drew of him on the rocket. Yancy kisses Philip and 
               he giggles.]
 
               
               [Fade to: (The Present) Orbitting Meadows National Cemetary. 
               Fry reads the inscription out loud.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (reading) Here lies Philip J. Fry, named 
                         for his uncle, to carry on his spirit.
 
                         
               
               [Bender forces open the coffin.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Pay dirt! I got the clover! Plus his 
                         wedding ring.  Sorry ladies, I'm taken! 
                         Hey Fry you want me to smack the corpse 
                         up a little?
 
               
               [Fry, tears in his eyes, takes the clover from Bender.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Uh, Bender, I think Fry needs a moment 
                         alone.
 
               
               [She helps him out of the grave.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Alright grab a shovel. I'm only one 
                         skull short of a Mouseketeer reunion.
 
                         
               
               [He and Leela walk away. Fry puts the clover back in the grave 
               and smiles. The episode plays out with Simple Minds' Don't You 
               (Forget About Me).]
 
               
               THE END

               

Luck Of The Fryrish



Writers :   Ron Weiner
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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