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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 507

                            "TEENAGE MUTANT LEELA'S HURDLES"

                                           By

                                     Jeff Westbrook

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Now Interactive! Joystick Controls 
               Fry's Left Ear!]
 
               
               [Outside Planet Express. It is a calm and peaceful day. Suddenly 
               a huge gargoyle crashes through the Planet Express roof and flies 
               away.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Attic. Farnsworth shakes his fist.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Pazuzu you ungrateful gargoyle! I put 
                         you through college and this is how 
                         you repay me?
 
               
               [Pizzuzu poos on him.]

               
               [Ship's Cockpit. The Professor is dressed in a long coat, a scarf 
               and driving goggles. He puts on some driving gloves.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Let's get this gargoyle hunt on the 
                         road. Driving gloves, driving goggles. 
                         Driving thong. There.
 
               
               [He sits down in the pilot's seat.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Uh, maybe I should drive.

               
               [Farnsworth chcukles.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         You? A woman? I'm trying to catch a 
                         monster not find the quickest route 
                         to the mall! Let me just adjust the 
                         seat.
 
               
               [He pulls a lever and the seat moves forward until his face is 
               pressed up against the windscreen. He starts the engine and the 
               ship shakes.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         My God, he's gonna do it! Everybody, 
                         seatbelts to maximum buckling.
 
               
               [The seatbelts completely cover them. Bender takes out a nail 
               gun and nails himself to the wall. The ship takes off.]
 
               
               [Outside Ship. The ship joins a space road flying very slowly 
               and causes huge tailbacks.]
 
               
               
               [Randy pulls up alongside him.]

               
                                     RANDY [FROM HIS CAR]
                         Hey grandpa, move your wrinkly old kiester!
 
                         
               
               [He drives away. Farnsworth takes a little time to react.]

               
               
               [Cut to: Ship's Cockpit.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         For heaven's gate Professor this ship 
                         can do 99% light speed. Why are we going 
                         at 35 miles an hour?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Because we're in a hurry that's why.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Plus you have the highbeams on!

               
               [Cut to: Outside Ship. The highbeams point at a roadsign directing 
               drivers to the eastern half of the universe.]
 
               
               
               [Outside Gummer's Cafeteria. Farnsworth lands the ship in the 
               car park of the Florida driving cafe and they get out.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yo, Captain Cateracts, what are we doing 
                         here?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh it's 2:30, we can still catch the 
                         early bird dinner special.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Uh, aren't we looking for your gargoyle?
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         My wha?

               
               [Gummer's Cafeteria. Farnsworth orders.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Hello Mavis! Surprised to see me back 
                         again so soon?
 
               
                                     WANDA
                         Mavis is dead.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I expect you'll want to see my angry 
                         crotchety grandpa discount card!
 
               
               [He hands her a card. She reads it.]

               
                                     WANDA
                         Sir this card is expired.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         But it's good for a lifetime.

               
                                     WANDA
                         Well yours expired.

               
               [Cut to: Table. Farnsworth sits down. Fry, Leela and Bender are 
               already eating. Farnsworth gets out his teeth and puts them on 
               the table. Leela covers her eyes in disbelief.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh Lord! Teeth do not belong in your 
                         pants Professor.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Well I can't keep them in my mouth. 
                         They're nuclear powered!
 
               
               [He presses a button on a remote control and the teeth start 
               chomping his food. They bite Fry.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Ow! It bit me!

               
               [The teeth start chomping very quickly.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         No! No! It's tasted human blood!

               
               [The teeth start flying around the room, biting at people. Farnsworth 
               slurps his slop through a straw.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Mmm! Damn good meat!

               
               [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth sits asleep at 
               the desk, snoring. Enter the crew.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Professor we've talked it over and everyone 
                         thinks you're too old.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Right on.

               
                                     FRY
                         Yup.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Uh huh!

               
                                     HERMES
                         We've decided to do the merciful thing 
                         and have you Youthasized.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dear God no!

               
                                     AMY
                         Oh relax Professor. Youthasizing is 
                         a trendy new spa treatment, its this 
                         seasons shark cartilage enema.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         But I like being old. I don't have to 
                         talk to my parents, no one asks me to 
                         help move their stuff, I don't need 
                         to understand today's "edgy TV sitcoms."
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK OK, we're not gonna force you until 
                         I've finished this sentence. Get him!
 
                         
               
               [The crew grab Farnsworth. He screams. They carry him out.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         My thong!

               
               [The Bubbling Geezer Hot Spring Spa Entrance. Enter a Neptunian 
               woman named Heather.]
 
               
                                     HEATHER
                         Hi, I'm Heather your personal Youthasizer! 
                         Lets get started with a nice botulism 
                         treatment shall we?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Go to hell Heather!

               
                                     HEATHER
                         Oh!  In small doses botchelism toxin 
                         tightens and tones the facial muscles 
                         instead of killing you in the most horrible 
                         fashion imaginable.
 
               
               [She injects it into him and his face tightens.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Give me back my floppy face!

               
               [The Bubbling Geezer Hot Spring Spa Massage Parlour. A pink tentacled 
               thing massages Farnsworth.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Careful with the giblets!

               
                                     HEATHER
                         Hmm, you're still retaining a lot of 
                         grump in these joints.  More pressure.
 
                         
               
               [It applies more pressure and Farnsworth's skin oozes off the 
               table.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ahh!

               
               [The Bubbling Geezer Hot Spring Spa Tar Pits. Heather scans Farnsworth 
               with an age scanner.]
 
               
                                     HEATHER
                         Since this is such a serious case of 
                         old, we'll have to try our strongest 
                         treatment. A soothing full body bath 
                         in searing hot tar. Sir, its not neccesary 
                         or wise to be naked.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         You sound just like my tennis instructor.
 
                         
               
               [He climbs into the tar.]

               
                                     HEATHER
                         The tar blisters the age right out of 
                         the body in what top scientists suspect 
                         is a miracle.
 
               
               [She pumps more tar into the bath. Farnsworth gets up.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh I don't have time for this. I have 
                         to go and buy a single piece of fruit 
                         with a coupon and then return it, making 
                         people wait behind me while I complain.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         He still sounds sorta old. Sorta real 
                         old.
 
               
               [Bender pushes Heather away from the pump and rolls up his sleeves.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Step aside lady.  Like everything else 
                         in life, pumping is just a primative 
                         degenerate form of bending. (mean voice) 
                         C'mon Bender pump harder! Harder! (weak 
                         voice) I'm trying as hard as I can. 
                         (mean voice) Harder damn you!
 
               
               [The ground beneath the crew starts to crack and the tar and 
               Farnsworth fly into the air. The ground gives way and the crew 
               slide into the pit. The tar lands back on top of them and covers 
               them. They climb out as blackened figures. Farnsworth takes a 
               towel from Heather and wipes the tar away. He now has a full 
               head of hair and his wrinkles are gone.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Well that was an utter waste of time.
 
                         
               
               [The crew gasp.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Professor it worked! You look young 
                         enough to be my father!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Poodlespit!  53 years old?  Now I'll 
                         need a fake ID to rent ultra-porn.
 
                         
               
               [Fry talks but his voice is strangely squeaky.]

               
                                     FRY
                         This is great Professor! We should go 
                         out and celebrate!
 
               
               [He wipes the tar away from his face. He is younger. Heather 
               scans him. He is 14. The entire crew is younger. Amy is fat and 
               Hermes has an afro.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dear Lord, you've all reverted to your 
                         childhood forms!
 
               
               [Zoidberg is very small and crawls along the ground.]

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Hooray! I'm a teenage hearthrob again!
 
                         
               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         While I try to restore our normal ages, 
                         I expect you all to go about your jobs 
                         like normal professionals.
 
               
               [Someone fires a spit ball at him. They laugh.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         It wasn't me Mr F, it was Amy!  Stop 
                         it Amy!
 
               
                                     AMY
                         You stink!

               
               [She feebly hits him.]

               
                                     HERMES
                         You know you did it!

               
               [The kids start arguing.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Quiet! Quiet I say!

               
               [He presses a button and a holographic mushroom cloud appears 
               in the middle of the table. Enter LaBarbara and Dwight.]
 
               
                                     LABARBARA
                         We're here to take my little stub of 
                         a husband home. Hermes, say goodbye 
                         to Mr Farnsworth.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Goodbye Mr Dumbsworth!

               
               [He and Dwight laugh.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Hey, this my chance to spend time with 
                         my parents too!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         But your parents are gross sewer mutants.
 
                         
               
               [A huge spit ball hits him and knocks him off his chair. Bender 
               laughs.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         When I was an orphan I always wished 
                         I could grow up with my mom and dad. 
                         And now, thanks to being hurled backwards 
                         through time -
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         That's not what happened! Shut up and 
                         go live with your parents.
 
               
               [Outside Planet Express. Leela walks out of the building with 
               a backpack and opens a manhole cover. She climbs down the ladder.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Sewer. She climbs down.]

               
               [Turanga House: Living Room. Leela is with her parents.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         It's gonna be totally awesome mom! You 
                         and me can bake and argue about my hairstyle 
                         hiding my pretty face. And if some kid 
                         picks on me, my dad can beat up his 
                         dad.
 
               
                                     MORRIS
                         Can't I just beat up the kid?

               
               [He chuckles.]

               
                                     MUNDA
                         Well OK Leela, if you think you can 
                         put up with your father, welcome home. 
                         We'll try to respect your independence 
                         and your freedom.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         No! I want the real teen experience! 
                         Chores, curfew, the works!
 
               
                                     MORRIS
                         Fine Leela we'll be the strictest parents 
                         ever. Now, lets all have some tequila 
                         to celebrate!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Dad I'm underage!

               
                                     MORRIS
                         Oh right. Here's a silly straw.

               
               [He puts the straw in the bottle.]

               
               [Wong Ranch: Amy's Bedroom. Amy sits in bed. Leo and Inez sit 
               on the end.]
 
               
                                     MRS WONG
                         Oh my Amy's sweet little girl again. 
                         This like a mother's dream. Bad dream 
                         that is! At this rate I'm never going 
                         to get a grandchild!
 
               
                                     MR WONG
                         Maybe she not grown up but she sure 
                         grown out! She fat!
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Dad, if you're gonna make fat jokes 
                         until I get cute again I'm just gonna 
                         stay in my room.
 
               
                                     MR WONG
                         Stay in room? You so fat you gonna stay 
                         all around room!
 
               
               [He chuckles.]

               
               [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I've got to find a way to escape the 
                         horrible ravages of youth! Suddenly 
                         I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork 
                         every three hours! And those jerks at 
                         social security stopped sending me cheques! 
                         Now I have to pay them!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         I'm tired of your yapping.  All you 
                         ever do is complain, you never try to 
                         make things better. Well I'm running 
                         away from this dead end family! I know 
                         there's a place for people like me with 
                         new ideas. There has to be!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Fine, get going!

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh I'm going! You're gonna be all "Where's 
                         Bender? I miss Bender!"
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         We won't know that until you leave.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, I'm leaving!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         There's the door.

               
               [Bender thinks for a moment.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         I'll be good.

               
               [Turanga House: Living Room. Munda sweeps white flakes off the 
               sofa.]
 
               
                                     MUNDA
                         Ah, do you have to shed your skin on 
                         the couch? What do we live in, a zoo?
 
                         
               
               [The doorbell rings.]

               
                                     MORRIS
                         I'm getting the doorbell.  For me?
 
                         
               
               [He chuckles.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Oh, hello sir. It's a lovely evening 
                         you have tonight. Um I'm here to pick 
                         up your daughter.
 
               
               [Leela comes down the stairs wearing a dress. She has a bow in 
               her hair.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hi Fry! I like your blazer.

               
                                     FRY
                         Thanks. These aren't pockets they're 
                         just flaps. I put my money in my sock.
 
                         
               
               [They laugh.]

               
                                     MUNDA
                         So, where are you taking my daughter 
                         tonight?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         A movie.  A movie ma'am.

               
               [He winks at Leela and she smiles.]

               
                                     MORRIS
                         Well whatever you're really doing, don't 
                         wake us if you get in after 12.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Dad, you're being too leaneant again! 
                         I have to be back by 11.
 
               
                                     MUNDA
                         OK OK you're the boss!

               
                                     LEELA
                         No I'm not!

               
               [Outside Stenchy's. At the mutant cafe Fry and Leela sit in a 
               car looking at the menus.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'd like a sewer burger but without 
                         the rat feces.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         What are you on a diet?

               
               [A car pulls up beside them with a guy with moose antlers in 
               his head and a girl with eyes on stalks.]
 
               
                                     MOOSE
                         Uh Leela you look hot!

               
                                     MANDY
                         Jeez Moose, just dump me right in front 
                         of her why don't you!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Moose, Mandy, this is my friend Fry 
                         - from the surface!
 
               
                                     MANDY
                         Oh so this is the famous Fry! What is 
                         he like the biggest loser on the surface 
                         so he has to hang out in the sewer?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY (WHISPERING)
                         They're onto me.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Hey come on, let's act like grown ups 
                         here! Wanna race?
 
               
                                     MOOSE
                         Uh yeah!

               
               [They pulls away from Stenchy's and start racing through the 
               sewer tunnels. Fry and Leela are lagging behind. Fry shuffles 
               up to Leela and tries to put his arm around her but the car jerks 
               and he falls over.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Sewage Treatment Plant. Sal puts something in the tanks.]
 
               
               
                                     SAL
                         Theres. The worlds drinkings water is 
                         safes for another days.  Whoas!  Cripe!
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Sewers. The cars scrape the sides of the tunnel and 
               make sparks. Leela comes alongside Moose. They come to an open 
               area of the sewer and a huge tapeworm comes out of the water.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         A tapeworm!

               
               [She and Fry scream and head off down a different tunnel to Moose 
               and Mandy.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         We missed the turn, we'll never catch 
                         them.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Yes we will. This sewer goes right under 
                         Planet Express and its's 9pm!
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The toilet flushes.]

               
               
               [Cut to: Sewer. Sewer water floods in behind Fry and Leela and 
               the wave pushes them faster. Fry screams. At the finish line 
               Moose and Mandy are just about to cross it when Fry and Leela 
               fly through and cut the tape first. The crowd and Fry and Leela 
               cheer.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah!

               
                                     LEELA
                         All right!

               
               [The car keeps going.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Leela you can stop winning now, we won!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         I'm too short to reach the handbrake!
 
                         
               
               [The car crashes into the school.]

               
               [Cut to: Classroom. Dwayne sits at a desk in amongst the rubble 
               and turns to Leela.]
 
               
                                     DWAYNE
                         That's detention!

               
               [Planet Express: Room. Fry recounts his story to Bender.]

               
                                     FRY
                         And then, and then, this giant tapeworm 
                         tried to play us for chumps but we like 
                         totally dissed Moose!
 
               
               [Farnsworth strokes the antlers of a moose on the wall.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Yes, I'd like to meet this "moose." 
                         But in the meantime I have good news. 
                         I may have solved our age problem.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Yay!

               
               [Farnsworth presses a button and a holographic strand of DNA 
               appears.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         It seems the Youthasizer tar was saturated 
                         with time-altering chronitons. A thin 
                         layer is still stuck to our DNA as well 
                         as Bender's Robot DNA or "RNA."
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Question.

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Yes?

               
                                     BENDER
                         You stink!

               
               [He laughs.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Yes yes. Anyhow I've designed an oil 
                         eating bacterium that should take the 
                         tar right off.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         C'mon! Lets go tell Leela so we can 
                         grow up together!
 
               
               [Bender makes kissy smoochy noise. Fry frowns.]

               
               [Turanga House: Living Room.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Thanks Professor but I don't want the 
                         treatment.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Don't you understand you little nitwit? 
                         Unless you're treated soon, the only 
                         way to restore your true age would be 
                         to grow into it! Just as God intended.
 
                         
               
                                     MUNDA
                         He has a point honey. What about your 
                         job and your friends? Do you really 
                         want to abandon your old life?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         My old life wasn't as glamourous as 
                         my webpage made it look. All I ever 
                         wanted was to grow up here. With you. 
                         Please?
 
               
                                     MUNDA
                         Well if it's what you really want.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         It is. I know it is.

               
               [Fry looks down sadly.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I'll miss you Leela. I'll come ack and 
                         visit when I'm all grown up.
 
               
                                     LEELA (WHISPERING)
                         Bring beer.

               
                                     MORRIS
                         No beer 'til you finish your tequila!
 
                         
               
               [Planet Express: Hangar. The Professor has set up a huge green 
               chamber.]
 
               
               
               [Everyone cheers and runs in.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Let's go!

               
               
               [Farnsworth closes the door.]

               
               [Cut to: Bacterial Spew Chamber.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Initiating controlled infection.

               
               [He pulls a switch and the spew chamber coughs. The room fills 
               with a cloud.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         I'm no doctor but this machine guy could 
                         use a lozenge.
 
               
               [The cloud clears. The crew are even younger.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Aw poo! We're even younger!

               
               [Farnsworth scans himself. 37.5. 37.4. 37.3. He is still decreasing 
               in age.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Damn! the bacteria pigged out on the 
                         tar and now they're getting freaky deaky, 
                         spreading chronitons throughout our 
                         systems. We're getting younger by the 
                         minute!
 
               
               [The crew gasp.]

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         What I'm going to revrt through all 
                         my larval stages?
 
               
               [He changes shape.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Word! We'll all keep getting younger 
                         and younger until we suffer a fate worse 
                         than death - pre-life! Then death.
 
                         
               
               [Zoidberg reverts to a shell.]

               
               [Planet Express: Farnsworth Lab. Farnsworth scans Amy with the 
               scanner. She is about 8.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I've got to stop this reverse aging 
                         before we all shrivel up and suffer 
                         the agony of unbirth. Think you disco 
                         duck think!
 
               
                                     AMY
                         What's that squirming under your shirt?
 
                         
               
               [Farnsworth opens his shirt. Zoidberg has reverted to a lamprey 
               and is attached to his chest.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Get off me you parasitic lamprey!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Oh sure like you need all your blood.
 
                         
               
               [Farnsworth knocks him off and he woops around the floor. The 
               kids scream.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Would you all chill! I can't think with 
                         you kids cramping my style! Oh I need 
                         a babysitter!
 
               
               [Turanga House: Leela's Bedroom. Leela is the kids' new babysitter. 
               They jump up and down on the bed.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK, quiet time. I know, everyone pretend 
                         to THING TO CHECK your tongue and I'll 
                         read you a story.
 
               
               [Zoidberg is on the floor and has turned into a spiky thing.]
 
               
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         I can't see from down here I can't.
 
                         
               
               [Leela sticks him to the wall.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         There. Todays story is from New Teen 
                         magazine. What would you rather hear 
                         about? Four legged Chachi or tentacled 
                         Chachi?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I wanna hear a space story!

               
               [He holds up a book called A Child's Garden Of Space Legends.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         It's kind of a baby book. But OK. Let's 
                         see. Snow White Dwarf And The Seven 
                         Red Dwarves, Charlotte's Tholian Web, 
                         The Fountain Of Aging.
 
               
               [She closes the book and gasps.]

               
               [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Leela talks to Farnsworth 
               on the videophone.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         The Fountain Of Aging? Hmm, it is just 
                         a legend. Still, they called the Tooth 
                         Fairy a legend and now it's head of 
                         the FBI.
 
               
               [Turanga House: Living Room. Farnsworth - now de-aged even more 
               - knocks on the door. Morris answers.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Sup? Kids ready?

               
               [The kids run out screaming. Fry hugs Farnsworth's leg.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Professy's back!  Eww, you smell like 
                         smoking.  And drinking.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         I had a few beers but I'm cool to drive.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         I wish I could come with you to say 
                         goodbye, before you all turn back in 
                         to grown ups but I'm grounded for knocking 
                         the school over.
 
               
                                     MUNDA
                         Who cares Leela? It was just a public 
                         school. Now go with your friends, please.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         No! A grounded teenager must be confined 
                         to her room!
 
               
               [Outside Turanga House. Leela opens her bedroom window and starts 
               climbing out.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         ...until she sneaks out!

               
               [She climbs out and starts up the ladder after the others.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         When I grow up I wanna be a steam shovel!
 
                         
               
               [Ship's Cockpit. The kids - now even younger - have disassembled 
               Bender and are playing with his pieces. A geeky looking Professor 
               flies the ship. Leela reads the book.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         According to this, the fountain is located 
                         within the darkest, most ancient region 
                         of space, just past teddybear junction.
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Teddybear junction, the worst scum hole 
                         in the galaxy.
 
               
               [Time Lapse. The ship flies into a solar system full of old planets.]
 
               
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         This solar system is like way old.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Look how high the asteroid belt is pulled 
                         up on that planet.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Newsflash! Everything's getting older 
                         the closer we get to that sun!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Dude, the Fountain Of Aging must be 
                         on the sun itself!
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Shut up! I was gonna say that!

               
               [The ship lands next to a swirling blue whirlpool - The Fountain 
               Of Aging.]
 
               
               [Outside Ship. Leela wheels the kids off the cargo ramp in a 
               trolley. They are really young.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         We've got to hurry. The kids have only 
                         one change of pants!
 
               
               [Farnsworth puts Zoidberg at the side of the fountain.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         We gotta be real real careful to stay 
                         in just long enough to make us our right 
                         ages again.
 
               
               [Zoidberg falls in and rapidly ages.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Zoidberg! Get out of there!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         The current, its too much already! Help!
 
                         
               
               [Zoidberg gets closer to the surface, turns grey, cracks, breaks 
               up and dies like that bloke in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. 
               The babies cry.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Jeepers!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Zoidberg is dead!

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         No! Zoidberg's brother is dead!  funny 
                         story. I just reverted to the age where 
                         my siblings budded from me and my brother 
                         Norman split off and jumped in the fountain.
 
                         
               
                                     SIBLING
                         He always had to be the centre of attention!
 
                         
               
               [The other siblings agree.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh no!  Quick! Get them into the fountain!
 
                         
               
               [Farnsworth gathers them up and goes down the steps.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Thanks for the help Weewa. Once we're 
                         gwown up you can go back to your famiwy. 
                         We'wl never bother you again.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         You can bother me a little.

               
               [Farnsworth climbs in and they age rapidly.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         It's working! Hooray!  I can't hold 
                         on!
 
               
               [He lets go and the whirlpool catches him.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         I'm coming in after you!

               
               [She ties a baby blanket around her waist.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No Leela! You can't give up your childhood! 
                         You'll never have another chance at 
                         it!
 
               
               [Leela thinks about it then jumps in. she reaches out to Fry 
               and grabs his hand. the others grab on to him. they climb out 
               at the side, their ages fully restored.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         We did it! We're the right ages again!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         I think I might be a couple years younger.
 
                         
               
                                     AMY
                         Oh, me too!

               
               [She winks at Leela.]

               
               
                                     LEELA
                         He's too far out! We can't reach him!
 
                         
               
               
                                     HERMES
                         Are you back to your original age Professor?
 
                         
               
               [Farnsworth scans himself.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Even older! Huzzah!

               
               [He cheers and his bones break.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I'm sorry you had to give up being a 
                         kid Leela.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well, I guess ever adult wants to be 
                         a kid sometimes. But I worked hard to 
                         be the person I am!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         The fabulous person!

               
                                     LEELA
                         With friends like you guys -

               
                                     FRY
                         Fabulous friends!

               
               [He hugs her and Bender.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         And I'm really happy I have that life 
                         back.
 
               
               [Farnsworth pats the gargoyle.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         And you my faithful fiend! How can I 
                         ever repay you?
 
               
               [Cut to: Paris. the gargoyles sit on the roof of Notre Dame.]
 
               
               
               
               THE END

               

Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles



Writers :   Jeff Westbrook
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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