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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 102 

                                 "THE SERIES HAS LANDED"

                                           By

                                       Ken Keeler

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet

                

               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry, Bender and Leela sit around 
               a big green table facing a big screen which Farnsworth stands 
               in front of.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         As new employees I'd like your opinion 
                         on our commercial. I paid to have it 
                         air during the Superbowl.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wow!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Not on the same channel, of course.
 
                         
               
               [He puts a tiny video into the VCR and the commercial appears 
               on the screen. A man is sat in his office and a huge green horrible 
               gelatinous blob with three eyes is in front of him.]
 
               
                                     ANNOUNCER
                          Interplanetary deliveries - what a 
                         headache!
 
               
               
                                     MAN
                          Uh... (shouting) I'm not Evans!

               
               [Horrible Gelatinous Blob turns to the camera.]

               
               
                                     ANNOUNCER
                          When those other companies aren't brave 
                         or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet 
                         Express for reliable, on time delivery.
 
                         
               
               [As the announcer speaks the Planet Express ship streaks across 
               the screen being chased by spaceships shooting lasers at it. 
               A man runs across an ice world with a parcel while at the same 
               time being bombed. He delivers the parcel and is snatched by 
               a gigantic vulture. Back in the office Evans lifts up a parcel.]
 
               
               
                                     EVANS
                          Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous 
                         Blob.
 
               
               
               [He eats Evans anyway.]

               
                                     EVANS
                          Thank you, sir!

               
               [The Planet Express logo - a simplified picture of the ship flying 
               across a white circle with "Planet Express" written around it 
               - appears on the screen.]
 
               
                                     ANNOUNCER
                          Planet Express: Our crew is replaceable. 
                         Your package isn't.
 
               
               [The bird is still carrying the man and squawks. The commercial 
               ends.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Are there really giant birds like that?
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         No, no! That was all just special effects! 
                         Now let's have breakfast. I hope everyone 
                         likes eggs.
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Kitchen. Farnsworth opens a box of eggs. 
               They are giant bird eggs. One hatches and the bird inside tries 
               to eat him. He hits it with a frying pan.]
 
               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: In Hypno-Vision.]

               
               [Outside Planet Express. A Jamaican man with dreads crosses the 
               street. He is wearing a green suit and glasses. He unlocks the 
               door and turns the open sign around from "Sorry, We're Closed" 
               to "Sorry, We're Open".]
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express. Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Farnsworth 
               and Leela are sat around the table. Fry pours some cereal into 
               a bowl, Bender relaxes and Leela looks at a clipboard.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm never going to get used to the 31st 
                         century.  Caffinated bacon? Baconated 
                         grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well, if you don't like that try some 
                         Archduke Chocula.
 
               
               [She holds up a box of the cereal. Enter the Jamaican man with 
               a large crate.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ah, Hermes! Crew, meet Hermes Conrad. 
                         He manages my delivery business, pays 
                         the bills, notifies next of kin, what 
                         have you.
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Someone come and dropped this package 
                         through the slot last night. Now which 
                         one of you is the captain?
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, my! I haven't picked a new captain 
                         yet. It's always so hard to choose.
 
                         
               
               [He looks around the table. Fry is so enthusiastic he doesn't 
               manage to swallow his spoonful of cereal completely and milk 
               dribbles down his chin.]
 
               
               
               [Farnsworth looks at Bender who drinks back a bottle of beer 
               and belches a flame. He looks at Leela. She has already signed 
               Hermes' clipboard and she salutes to him.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Hmm, you!

               
               [He points at her. Fry groans.]

               
               [Planet Express: Hermes' Office. Hermes sits at his desk facing 
               Leela. He slides a sheet of paper to her.]
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         OK, Captain, this is just a standard 
                         legal release protecting Planet Express 
                         from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
 
                         
               
               [He hands Leela a piece of paper.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         (reading) Death by airlock failure.
 
                         
               
                                     HERMES
                         Mmm.

               
                                     LEELA
                         (reading) Death by brain parasite.
 
                         
               
                                     HERMES
                         Yeah.

               
                                     LEELA
                         (reading) Death by sonic diarrhoea?
 
                         
               
                                     HERMES
                         (chuckling) Oh, you don't want that!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Look, I don't know about any of your 
                         previous captains but I intend to do 
                         as little dying as possible.
 
               
               [She puts the form on the desk and Hermes chuckles again. He 
               slides it back to her.]
 
               
                                     HERMES
                         Sign the paper!

               
               [Planet Express: Corridor. Farnsworth and Fry stand next to a 
               door.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Now Fry, before you go into space you'll 
                         need to see our staff doctor. I should 
                         warn you though, he's a little unusual. 
                         (whispering) He wears sandals!
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Zoidberg's Office. The doctor, a red 
               alien creature is sat in his chair with is feet on the desk. 
               Behind him is a chart of a human's internal organs - pinned to 
               the wall upside down.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hi -- eurgh!

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry, the new delivery 
                         boy. He needs a physical.
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Excellent, excellent!

               
               [He clacks his claws. Fry is not so sure.]

               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         You'll be fine.

               
               [He turns to leave but looks back with a worried look on his 
               face.]
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Now open your mouth and let's have a 
                         look at that brain.  No no no no no 
                         not that mouth!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I only have one.

               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Really?

               
               [He takes a small card out of his pocket and looks at it.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Uh, is there a human doctor around?
 
                         
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Young lady, I'm an expert on humans. 
                         Now pick a mouth, open it and say... 
                         What? My mother was a saint! Get out!
 
                         
               
               [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth is unscrewing Bender's 
               head from his body. With them is Leela and a young Asian woman 
               wearing a pink jumpsuit.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Dear Lord, Bender, you're filthy.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah, like you don't have crap in your 
                         neck!
 
               
               [Farnsworth puts Bender's head down on a table and turns to the 
               girl.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Amy, why don't you give his body a going 
                         over with the cleaning pick?
 
               
                                     AMY
                         OK. Does it hurt when I go like this?
 
                         
               
               [She pokes Bender's neck but hits Leela in the eye instead.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Ow!

               
                                     BENDER
                         A little.

               
               [Enter Fry.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Well, the doctor says I'm as healthy 
                         as a crab. Can I go into space now?
 
                         
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         As soon as we finish cleaning Bender. 
                         Oh, and Fry, this is our intern, Amy 
                         Wong. She's an engineering student of 
                         mine. (whispering) I like having her 
                         around because she's the same blood 
                         type as me.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Hey! You're the unfrozen guy! From the 
                         20th century, right?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (chuffed) Last time I checked.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Hang on. Amy Wong? Of the Mars Wongs?
 
                         
               
                                     AMY
                         Look. We're not as rich as everybody 
                         says.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Uh-huh! What sorority do you belong 
                         to?
 
               
                                     AMY
                         (ashamed) Kappa Kappa Wong.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Hey, rich girl. Look over here! It's 
                         me, Bender. I'm being entertaining. 
                          (singing) La la la look at my head. 
                         It's all painted look at my head! I 
                         got a big old head, hey! Ho! (talking) 
                         Alright, show's over, I'm tired.
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Ah, to be young again. And also a robot! 
                         Now as I recall you youngsters have 
                         a package to deliver.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Finally! Come on Bender, let's mosey!
 
                         
               
               [He picks up Bender's head and throws it to his body. It misses 
               the catch and Bender's head falls on the floor.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Nice catch, idiot!

               
               [Planet Express: Hangar. The crate is being loaded into the ships 
               cargo bay on a magnetic winch. It is addressed to Luna Park.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         So where are we going anyway?

               
                                     LEELA
                         Nowhere special. The moon.

               
                                     FRY
                         The moon? The moon moon? Wow! I'm gonna 
                         be a famous hero just like Neil Armstrong 
                         and those other brave guys no one ever 
                         heard of!
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Oh, I love stuff like the moon! Can 
                         I come, Leela?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Well...I guess so. Just be careful. 
                         I'd like to hold off any major screwups 
                         until at least my second day as captain.
 
                         
               
                                     FANSWORTH
                         Nothing will go wrong.  (whispering) 
                         If something goes wrong bring back the 
                         blood.
 
               
               [Ships Cockpit. Bender and Amy are sat on the couch. Leela sits 
               in the pilot's seat while Fry sits in a chair beside her. She 
               presses some buttons.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The tilting mechanism comes 
               out of the floor and pushes the ship into its 45-degree launch 
               position.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The hangar roof slides open.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry scoots his chair over to Leela.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Can I do the countdown?

               
                                     LEELA
                         Huh? Oh sure, knock yourself out.

               
                                     FRY
                         Ten......nine --

               
                                     LEELA
                         OK we're here!

               
               Fry; (awestruck) Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff!

               
               [The ship cruises towards the moon and flies through a hole in 
               a dome on the surface.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The ship lands.]

               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Leela takes the keys out of the ignition 
               and Fry gets out of his seat and heads for the door.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hurry up, I wanna see the moon!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Relax, its open till 9.

               
               [Cut to: Outside Ship. Fry stands on the bottom step.]

               
                                     FRY
                         That's one small step for Fry --

               
                                     MAN
                         And one giant line for admission!

               
               [The man is standing in a long queue for the Luna Park, a huge 
               Disneyland-like place with moon-themed rides.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wow!  Um, can I have cuts?

               
                                     MAN
                         Hmm -- No!

               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry runs in.]

               
                                     FRY
                         You're not gonna believe this but they 
                         landed an amusement park on the moon!
 
                         
               
                                     AMY
                         Guh! It's the happiest place orbiting 
                         Earth.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Lets go, already!

               
               [They walk towards the door but Leela is blocking it.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, we have a crate to deliver.

               
                                     FRY
                         Let's just dump it in the sewer and 
                         say we delivered it.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Too much work. Lets burn it and say 
                         we dumped it in the sewer.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK, if everyone's finished being stupid 
                         --
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I had more but you go ahead.

               
                                     LEELA
                         We'll deliver that crate like professionals 
                         and then we'll go home.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         But I've never been to the moon before.
 
                         
               
               [Leela sighs.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Alright. We'll deliver that crate like 
                         professionals...and then we'll go ride 
                         the bumper cars.  Amy, why don't you 
                         help Fry hoist down the crate. Then 
                         lock up when you're done. Just be careful.
 
                         
               
               [She hands the keys to Amy.]

               
                                     AMY
                         Aye, aye, Captain! I mean only one eye. 
                         I mean, yes, sir, um, ma'am!
 
               
               [Ships Cargo Bay. Fry stands next to the crate by the open bomb 
               bay doors while Amy stands at the magnetic winch control station.]
 
               
               
                                     AMY
                         Clear?

               
                                     FRY
                         Clear!

               
                                     AMY
                         Ready to hoist?

               
                                     FRY
                         Ready!

               
               [Amy presses a button and the winch drops and hits her on the 
               head.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Ow!

               
               [The magnetic forces pull the keys out of her pocket. She tries 
               again and the winch picks up the crate. The keys slip off the 
               winch and through a hole in the crate.]
 
               
               [Outside Luna Park Receiving Depot. Fry wheels the crate towards 
               the room on a trolley. Amy follows.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         My first space delivery.

               
               [Cut to: Luna Park Receiving Depot. A lazy man named Sal is sat 
               at a desk with his feet up. Enter Fry.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Uh, greetings, Moon Man, we come in 
                         peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth.
 
                         
               
                                     SAL
                         Wise guy, huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd 
                         punch you in the stomach.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         But you are lazy, right?

               
                                     SAL
                         Oh, don't get me started.

               
               [Luna Park: Moon Street USA. The crew walk past a band of bandbots 
               that are shaped like musical instruments, past a Moonvenirs stall. 
               Bender stops and takes a bottle out of his chest cabinet and 
               a mascot with a huge flat moon shaped head runs up behind him.]
 
               
               
                                     CRATER FACE
                         Hi, I'm Crater Face! Welcome to Luna 
                         Park. I'll have to confiscate your alcohol, 
                         sir.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Better mascots than you have tried.
 
                         
               
               [He finishes the bottle and jabs it in Crater Face's eye making 
               it look like a scene from A Trip To The Moon. He leaves..]
 
               
               
                                     CRATER FACE
                         At least I still have my self respect!
 
                         
               
               [He chuckles to himself then cries.]

               
               [Time Lapse. At a souvenir stall they merchandise such as "I'm 
               With Stupid On The Moon" t-shirts, "My Other Car Is A Porsche 
               - On The Moon" bumper stickers and "What Part Of MOON Don't You 
               Understand?" fridge magnets. Leela scoffs.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Who buys this trash?

               
                                     BENDER
                         Idiots who need gifts for other idiots.
 
                         
               
               [Fry emerges from around the corner wearing one of the t-shirts 
               and carrying magnets.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey, I got you guys refrigerator magnets.
 
                         
               
               [He puts one on Bender's head causing Bender's pupils to dilate 
               and an electrical surge in his head. He starts waving his arms 
               around in a panic.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Get it off! Get it off! Get it -- uh 
                         oh!  (singing) How many roads must a 
                         man walk down, before you... (talking) 
                         Keep those things off of me! Magnets 
                         screw up my inhibition unit!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         So you flip out and start acting like 
                         some crazy folk singer?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yes. I guess a robot would have to be 
                         crazy to wanna be a folk singer.
 
               
               [He gazes upwards sadly.]

               
               [Luna Park: Whalers Of The Sea Of Tranquility. The gang float 
               through an It's A Small World After All-like ride passing by 
               robotic whalers.]
 
               
                                     WHALERBOTS
                         (singing) We're whalers on the moon,
 
                         
               We carry a harpoon,

               But there ain't no whales so we tell our tall tale

               And sing our whaling tune!

               
               [A Whalerbot tilting on a barrel waves to Bender.]

               
                                     WHALERBOT
                         Bender, hey, Bender! Over here!

               
               [Bender covers his face and turns away.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, jeez, I went to high school with 
                         that guy!
 
               
               [Luna Park: Goophy Gopher Revue. The audience sit patiently for 
               the show to begin.]
 
               
                                     ANNOUNCER
                         Monsanto presents: The Goophy Gopher 
                         Revue!
 
               
               [On a small stage several robotic gophers pop out of crater-shaped 
               holes.]
 
               
                                     GOPHER #1
                         Why does a moon rock taste better than 
                         an Earth rock?
 
               
                                     GOPHER #2
                         Because it's a little meteor!

               
               [The gophers laugh.]

               
                                     FRY
                         This is weak!

               
                                     GOPHER #1
                         Address all complaints to the Monsanto 
                         Corporation.
 
               
               [Luna Park. The crew get some candy floss from an Orlon Candy 
               stall and carry on walking around the park. Fry looks unhappy.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         What's wrong, Fry?

               
                                     FRY
                         I don't know. This place is great and 
                         all but its just so artificial. The 
                         gravity, the air, the gophers. You might 
                         as well stay on Earth.  That's what 
                         I came to see! I wanna go out there 
                         and jump around like an astronaut. Screw 
                         this phoney stuff!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         But the phoney stuff is what's fun. 
                         It's boring out there.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah! You're the kind of guy who visits 
                         Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the 
                         Sexeteria!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Maybe I should take Fry on the Luna 
                         Rover ride. You get to wear a space 
                         suit and drive around on the surface. 
                         And the line's short because it's educational.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I don't care how educational it is. 
                         Let's do it!
 
               
               [He runs off with Leela. Bender raises his bottle.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         (shouting) Next year in Jerusalem!
 
                         
               
               [Luna Park: Destination Moon. Fry and Leela sit in a moon buggy 
               wearing orange spacesuits.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Finally! Get ready for some serious 
                         moon action.
 
               
               [They go through some doors.]

               
                                     NARRATOR
                         (voice-over) The story of lunar exploration 
                         started with one man. A man with a dream.
 
                         
               
               [The ride continues to a room with animatronic versions of the 
               leads from The Honeymooners.]
 
               
                                     RALPH KRAMDENBOT
                         One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! 
                         Straight to the moon!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Wow, I never realised the first astronauts 
                         were so fat!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian. 
                         And he was just using space travel as 
                         a metaphor for beating his wife.
 
               
               [Luna Park Arcade. Amy is playing Virtual Virtual Skeeball, a 
               virtual version of Virtual Skeeball. She just sits in a chair 
               wearing a VR helmet.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Wow! I could swear I was really playing 
                         virtual skeeball!  Hm?
 
               
               [She takes the helmet off.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Look, it's that crate we were gonna 
                         throw in the sewer.
 
               
               [He points to Sal who is emptying the crate into a claw machine 
               using a robot arm around his waist. They watch as the ship keys 
               fall out of the crate and into the machine. Amy gasps.]
 
               
                                     AMY
                         The keys to the ship!  They must have 
                         fallen into the crate! Leela's gonna 
                         kill me!
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Nah. She'll probably make me do it.
 
                         
               
                                     AMY
                         Mister? Could you please get those keys 
                         out for me?
 
               
                                     SAL
                         What do I look like? A guy who's not 
                         lazy?
 
               
               [Amy gets a coin out and plays the game. The claw grabs the keys 
               but drops them on the way back up and she curses in Chinese.]
 
               
               
               [Luna Park: Destination Moon. The moon buggy continues across 
               lunar terrain, boxed in with poorly constructed walls with stars 
               painted on them.]
 
               
                                     NARRATOR
                         (voice-over) No one knows where, when 
                         or how Man first landed on the moon...
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I do.

               
                                     NARRATOR
                         (voice-over) ...but our fungineers think 
                         it might have happened something like 
                         this:
 
               
               [A prop of a lunar landing module opens up and Whalerbots file 
               out of it.]
 
               
                                     WHALERBOTS
                         (singing) We're whalers on the moon,
 
                         
               
               [Goophy Gophers pop up from craters.]

               
                                     GOPHERS
                         (singing) We carry a harpoon,

               
               
                                     LEELA
                         (singing) ...and sing a whaling tune. 
                         We're whalers on the moon...
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That's not how it happened.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh, really? I don't see you with a fungineering 
                         degree! p>
 
               
                                     FRY
                         This is stupid. I'm taking this thing 
                         out to the real moon.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, no. This is my first mission and 
                         I'm not gonna let us get in any trouble. 
                         Besides, the car's on a track.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Not for long!

               
               [He grabs a harpoon, throws it in front of the buggy and derails 
               it. It drives over a whalerbot and out onto the open lunar surface.]
 
               
               
                                     WHALERBOT
                         Ooh aah! I died doin' what I loved.
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Fry drives the car around grinning.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         OK, you're on the surface. Now I'll 
                         give you 10 minutes. Then you'll get 
                         bored, turn around and apologise for 
                         being such a jerk. Agreed?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Agreed.  Yee-haw! Woo! Yeah! Crank up 
                         the radio!
 
               
               [He turns the radio on.]

               
                                     WHALERBOTS
                          We're whalers on the -

               
               [He turns it off straight away.]

               
               [Time Lapse. Fry drives around another crater.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Yee-haw!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Time's up. Make a U-turn at the next 
                         crater.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         No not yet. How 'bout we go look for 
                         the original moon landing site?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That's crazy! It's been lost for centuries!
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Well I'm feelin' lucky!  Uh... I'm ready 
                         to go back now.
 
               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     FRY
                         We're gonna die! It's every man for 
                         himself!  Help me, Leela!  You did it! 
                         We're safe!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         No. Now we're gonna die.

               
               [The gauge on the oxygen canister reads nearly empty.]

               
                                     FRY
                         It's every man for himself.

               
               [He tries to run off but chokes himself on the oxygen pipe from 
               his helmet.]
 
               
               [Luna Park: Arcade. Amy is still trying to get the keys but the 
               claw drops them again. Enter Bender with a small doll.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Hey, look what I won from a tourist's 
                         pocket!
 
               
                                     AMY
                         Shut up. You're distracting me.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Come on, it's just like making love. 
                         Y'know: Left, down, rotate 62 degrees, 
                         engage rotor.
 
               
                                     AMY
                         I know how to make love!

               
               [The claw drops the keys again. Amy sighs.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         Here, let me do it.  Ah, lousy arm. 
                         Must be rigged!  That's her, officers! 
                          Uh, that's the woman who programmed 
                         me for evil!
 
               
               [He runs off with his extended arm trailing behind him and the 
               Moon Patrol chase him.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Lunar Park Dome. The Moon Patrol officers throw 
               Bender outside the dome and close the doors behind him.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own 
                         theme park, with blackjack and hookers. 
                         In fact, forget the park!
 
               
               [Lunar Surface. An exhausted Fry and Leela continue their journey 
               back to the park.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         (gasping) I'm sorry, Leela, I can't 
                         go on any further. Just leave me to 
                         die in that barn over there.
 
               
               [Leela gasps. Fry is pointing to a farm in a dome.]

               
               [Cut to: Farmyard. Fry and Leela run in and take off their space 
               helmets, panting.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Thank God!

               
               [Behind them a gun cocks. They turn around and see a farmer. 
               He has a buck tooth and a cap that says "The Moon Shall Rise 
               Again".]
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         Trespassers, eh?

               
                                     FRY
                         No, sir. We're amusement park patrons.
 
                         
               
                                     FARMER
                         Ooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's 
                         OK, but the rest is mighty wicked.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Our car broke down and we're out of 
                         oxygen. Can we borrow some?
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         Huh, borry? Looky here, city girl, oxygen 
                         don't grow on trees. You'll have to 
                         earn it doing chores on my hydroponic 
                         farm. You can go back to your precious 
                         theme park at sun up.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I guess we could do chores for a few 
                         hours.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon.
 
                         
               
                                     FARMER
                         Yup. Drops down to -173!

               
                                     FRY
                         Fahrenheit or Celsius?

               
                                     FARMER
                         First one, then th'other. And them spacesuits 
                         ain't a-heated so you ainít goin' nowhere 
                         til sunrise. You can sleep in the barn. 
                         Just don't be a-touchin' my three beautiful 
                         robot daughters. Y'hear?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Robot daughters?

               
               [He points to his robot daughters outside the house.]

               
                                     FARMER
                         This here is Lulabelle 7.

               
                                     LULABELLE 7
                         Yoo-hoo!

               
                                     FARMER
                         Daisy-Mae 128K.

               
                                     DAISY-MAE 128K
                         Yoo-hoo!

               
                                     FARMER
                         And the Crushinator.

               
               [The Crushinator is a huge pink thing with tracks instead of 
               legs.]
 
               
                                     CRUSHINATOR
                         (mechanical voice) Yoo-hoo.

               
                                     FRY
                         Whoa!

               
               [Barn. Fry and Leela are milking some cows.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         I told you to turn around and go back 
                         to the park. But oh, no, the park was 
                         too phoney. We had to see the real moon.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         And it was great! We got to see craters 
                         and rocks and that one incredible rock 
                         that looked like a crater and, and these 
                         fellas.
 
               
               [He pats the cow, which isn't a cow but some sort of insect-bovine 
               creature called a buggalo.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, face it. The moon is a dump. It's 
                         a boring dried up wasteland. And the 
                         only reason anybody ever comes here 
                         is for the tacky little amusement park. 
                         Can't you just accept that?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I guess I can't.

               
               [They hear a shot from outside. They look through the transparent 
               barn doors and see Bender running out of the farmhouse.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Farmyard. The farmer chases him out of the house waving 
               his rifle.]
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         I'll learn ye to sleep with my robot 
                         daughters!
 
               
               [Bender runs into the barn.]

               
               [Cut to: Barn. He leans against the transparent door. Outside 
               the farmer reloads his gun.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         He'll never find me in here.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Bender?

               
                                     FRY
                         Oh, Bender. You didn't touch the Crushinator, 
                         did you?
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Of course not. A lady that fine you 
                         gotta romance first.
 
               
               [Another gunshot smashes the barn door behind Bender. Bender 
               legs it while the farmer reloads. Fry and Leela follow him through 
               another door. They pick up their helmets as they run.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Farmyard. They grab some oxygen tanks and get into the 
               moon buggy.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The buggy speeds away from the farm. 
               The farmer, in a spacesuit but with his cap sat on top, Lulabelle 
               7 and Daisy-Mae 128K run after them. The farmer fires a shot 
               at them and misses.]
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         Oh, no you don't! C'mere Crushinator.
 
                         
               
               [Crushinator drives out of the farm and pulls up beside him.]
 
               
               
                                     CRUSHINATOR
                         (mechanical voice) Yes, Pa.

               
               [She transforms into a car. The farmer and his other two daughters 
               get in and drive after Fry, Leela and Bender. They chase the 
               crew around past craters and through ravines. The farmer takes 
               a shot at the crew and narrowly misses them. The crew round a 
               corner and find their way blocked by a rock bridge.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         It's too low.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Hang on. Hang on. Jump.  Hold on to 
                         your helmet!
 
               
               [They jump the gorge, flying over crocodiles with space helmets 
               and land safely on the other side. They all cheer and then a 
               wheel falls off the buggy. The Crushintor approaches the other 
               side and stops. The farmer climbs out and slams the door.]
 
               
               
                                     FARMER
                         God darn, it Crushinator, jump!

               
                                     CRUSHINATOR
                         (mechanical voice) No, Pa. I love him.
 
                         
               
               [The farmer takes his hat off and jumps on it, groaning. Leela 
               looks at the broken wheel and Fry sees a huge shadow approaching.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey, cool! Dark side of the moon!

               
               [Leela gasps.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Nightfall's coming.  Hurry, before we 
                         freeze.
 
               
               [The flee from the shadow.]

               
                                     BENDER
                         What do you mean "we", mammal?

               
               [Cut to: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. He watches the crew 
               through a telescope.]
 
               
                                     FARNSWORTH
                         Oh, dear! I really ought to do something. 
                         But I am already in my pyjamas.
 
               
               [He falls asleep and starts snoring.]

               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Fry and Leela are panting.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         We can't outrun it forever.

               
               [Fry sees something.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Over there! Look! It's the moon landing 
                         site! We found it!
 
               
               [They run towards it. Leela climbs the ladder and pushes over 
               the hatch.]
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Quick, get in.

               
               [Fry sees the American flag.]

               
                                     FRY
                         It's that flag from MTV! And Neil Armstrong's 
                         footprint!  Hey! My foot's bigger! Leela, 
                         isn't this the greatest thing you've 
                         ever seen?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, look around. It's just a crummy 
                         plastic flag and a dead man's tracks 
                         in the dust.  Now get in here before 
                         you freeze.
 
               
               [Fry sighs and climbs the ladder.]

               
               [Cut to: Apollo 11 Lander. Leela helps him in.]

               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. She closes the door just as Bender arrives.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll 
                         go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack 
                         and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar 
                         lander and the blackjack. Ah, screw 
                         the whole thing.
 
               
               [He walks off.]

               
               [Apollo 11 Lander. Leela reads the oxygen gauge.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Well if the oxygen holds out we might 
                         live long enough to starve to death.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Look, Leela, I'm sorry. I never should 
                         have dragged you out here.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         That's right, you shouldn't have. I 
                         still don't get what the big attraction 
                         is.
 
               
               [Fry sighs.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I never told anybody this but a thousand 
                         years ago I used to look up at the moon 
                         and dream about being an astronaut. 
                         I just didn't have the grades. Nor the 
                         physical endurance. Plus I threw up 
                         a lot and nobody liked spending a week 
                         with me.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         A week would be a little much.

               
                                     FRY
                         The moon was like this awesome, romantic, 
                         mysterious thing, hanging up there in 
                         the sky where you could never reach 
                         it, no matter how much you wanted to. 
                         But you're right. Once you're actually 
                         here it's just a big dull rock. I guess 
                         I just wanted you to see it through 
                         my eyes, the way I used to.
 
               
               [Leela looks through a window. She sees the Earth.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Fry, look. It really is beautiful. I 
                         don't know why I never noticed before.
 
                         
               
               [Bender runs towards the capsule.]

               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The farmer is chasing him in a weird 
               thing with spikes.]
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         Had to come back for the Crushinator, 
                         eh, robot? Well I got you this time.
 
                         
               
               [The spikes get closer to Bender. The Planet Express ship swoops 
               in above them. The magnetic winch lowers towards Bender.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Apollo 11 Lander.]

               
                                     FRY
                         It's Amy! We're saved!

               
                                     LEELA
                         Amy? Where'd she learn to operate the 
                         controls like that?
 
               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Amy is operating the winch expertly, 
               having had practice at the Luna Park with the claw game. The 
               toys from the game are piled up in the corner.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The winch is getting closer to Bender.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         Not the magnet! No! No! Nooo --  Uh-oh!
 
                         
               
               [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Amy cheers.]

               
               [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Bender kicks his legs and waves his arms 
               around as he flies away from the farmer attached to the winch.]
 
               
               
                                     BENDER
                         (singing) She'll be comin' round the 
                         mountain when she comes,
 
               She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes --

               (talking) I'll kill you Amy!

               (singing) She'll be comin' round the mountain,

               She'll be comin' round the mountain,

               She'll be comin' --

               
               [He slams into the side of the lunar lander and it takes off. 
               The farmer watches the ship fly away and takes off his space 
               helmet and jumps on it.]
 
               
                                     FARMER
                         Aww, dang it!

               
               [He starts to choke then collapses. He reaches over to the helmet 
               and puts it back on and breathes. Bender, still attached to the 
               side of the lander, carries on singing.]
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         (singing) She'll be riding six white 
                         horses when she comes,
 
               She'll be riding six white horses when she comes -

               (talking) Hey, I'm pretty good!

               (singing) She'll be riding six white horses...

               
                                     LEELA
                          So, Fry, was the real moon anything 
                         like the moon you used to dream about?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                          Well, close enough!

               
               THE END

               
                                     BENDER
                          Well I'll shoot her with my ray gun 
                         when she comes,
 
               Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes,

               Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun,

               Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun,

               Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes,

               When she comes!

               
               I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,

               I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,

               I'll be blastin' all the humans,

               I'll be blastin' all the humans,

               I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,

               In the world!

               
               (shouting) One more time!

               

The Series Has Landed



Writers :   Ken Keeler
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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