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                                        FUTURAMA

                                       Episode 508

                                    "THE WHY OF FRY"

                                           By

                                     David X. Cohen

                         Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet



               
               [Opening Credits. Caption: Dancing Space Potatoes? You Bet!]
 
               
               
               [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Zoidberg is sitting in a bathtub 
               while Amy is sat at the table reading a book called Martians 
               Are From Mars, Venusians Are From Venus. Enter Fry wearing a 
               spacesuit.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Delivery boy Philip J. Fry reporting 
                         for duty.
 
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Dr Zoidberg, soaking in brine.

               
               [He relaxes and blows brine through his blowhole. It splatters 
               on Amy who barely reacts.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         What is the meaning of this? We've got 
                         a delivery people, let's move, let's 
                         move!  Amy? Mission profile?  Interesting, 
                         interesting. Dr Zoidberg, mission bag?
 
                         
               
                                     ZOIDBERG
                         Packed and ready sir.

               
               [Fry takes the brown bag from him. Fry takes something out.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         What's this? This is the same toy surprise 
                         I got last time!  I can't work under 
                         these conditions. And without me there 
                         is no mission. I am the mission!
 
               
               [The ship lands behind him and Bender and Leela walk out.]

               
                                     LEELA (SHOUTING)
                         We're back from the mission!

               
                                     FRY
                         Wh-what? You went without me?

               
                                     BENDER (SHOUTING)
                         You were looking up curse words in the 
                         dictionary. It seemed like a better 
                         use of your time.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         But, but I'm the delivery boy.

               
                                     LEELA
                         Don't worry, everything went fine.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Better than usual!

               
                                     LEELA
                         We got medals! Good work team! We really 
                         pulled together on this one.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Woo-hoo!

               
               [He and Leela bump each other. Fry looks on sadly.]

               
               
               [Planet Express: Locker Area. Leela blow dries her hair and Bender 
               brushes his eyes with a toothbrush. Fry sits on the bench sadly.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm real sorry I missed the mission. 
                         I wasn't there and you might have needed 
                         me.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Nope.

               
                                     FRY
                         But if I'd been there I -

               
                                     BENDER
                         Nope.

               
                                     FRY
                         L -

               
                                     BENDER
                         Nope.

               
                                     FRY
                         Bender's great.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Nope! Ohh!

               
                                     FRY
                         Listen Leela, let me make it up by taking 
                         you out to dinner tonight.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Nope. I've got a date with Chaz.

               
                                     FRY
                         Chaz?

               
                                     LEELA
                         I met him at that charity cock fight 
                         last week. He's the mayor's aide.
 
                         
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ooo, you go mutant girl!

               
               [He whips her with his towel.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         I do go! He's a very important man.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         So? I'm just as important as him.  It's 
                         just that, the kind of importance I 
                         have, it doesn't matter if I...don't 
                         do it.
 
               
               [He slopes over sadly. Bender hangs his towel over him.]

               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. Bender and Fry sit on the couch. Fry 
               sighs and strokes Nibbler.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm nobody. There are guys in the background 
                         with Mary Worth comics who are more 
                         important than me.
 
               
                                     BENDER
                         Ah, buck up meatloaf. Bender'll take 
                         you out tonight and cheer you up. What 
                         do you wanna do? And I mean anything. 
                         You have the power! Name it an I'm there, 
                         you the man!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Um, OK. Let's go bowling.

               
                                     BENDER
                         Nah.

               
               [He puts his feet up and turns the TV on.]

               
               [Elzar's Fine Cuisine Entrance. Enter Leela and her date Chaz. 
               Enter Elzar.]
 
               
                                     ELZAR
                         Table for two? Step right this way.
 
                         
               
                                     CHAZ
                         I'm afraid we don't have a reservation 
                         but uh, as you can see......I'm the 
                         mayor's aide. Table for two please.
 
                         
               
               [Elzar stares, confused.]

               
                                     ELZAR
                         OK then.

               
               [Cut to: Elzar's Fine Cuisine Restaurant. Elzar seats Chaz and 
               Leela. Two chef's run out from the kitchen chasing a cockroach. 
               It runs onto a table and Elzar whacks it with a piece of bread.]
 
               
               
                                     ELZAR
                         Bam!

               
                                     CHAZ
                         It's OK my man. I got you covered on 
                         your next health inspection.
 
               
                                     ELZAR
                         I really appreciate that mister mayor's 
                         aide.  Here you go, compliments of the 
                         house.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Wow, free bread at a restaurant? Is 
                         there anything you can't do?
 
               
                                     CHAZ
                         I can't fail the mayor, not ever.

               
               [Leela sighs, lovestruck.]

               
               [O'Zorgnax's Pub. Fry sits at a table, lonely. He sees Leela 
               and Chaz walk in.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh jeez, better not let Leela see me.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Hey, I hear Fry.  Boy am I glad you're 
                         here!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You are? So things aren't working out 
                         with whatshisname?
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Actually...they are! Confidentially, 
                         I might not make it back to my apartment 
                         tonight! Could you walk Nibbler for 
                         me?
 
               
               [She hands him her key.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Um..uh...

               
                                     LEELA
                         And bring a baggy in case he drops a 
                         steamer. (shouting) Have a great night!
 
                         
               
               [Street. Fry walks down the empty street with Nibbler. Nibbler 
               spies a lamppost and starts sniffing around it.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh no, please, no!  Perfect!

               
               [Fry puts the bag over his hand and tries to lift the dark matter. 
               He struggles. Smitty and URL approach him.]
 
               
                                     SMITTY
                         Whoa, smells like a 289 in progress!
 
                         
               
                                     URL
                         Failure to scoop, aw yeah!

               
               [He prints off a ticket.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Wait, I'm trying. It weighs as much 
                         as a thousand suns!
 
               
               [He struggles with it some more. URL hands him the ticket. Chaz's 
               car pulls up beside them.]
 
               
                                     CHAZ
                         Don't worry Fry, I'll pull some strings. 
                         See if I can't get you tried as a juvenile!
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh Chaz!

               
               [She hugs him and they drive off. Fry sighs.]

               
               [Alley.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I'm as worthless as this trashcan.
 
                         
               
               [He kicks it over and sits down against a wall.]

               
                                     TRASHCAN
                         You think I'm as worthless as you? Try 
                         catching garbage in your head and raising 
                         six kids you dumb townie!
 
               
               [It rolls away. Garbage falls on Fry from a chute above him.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh Nibbler, at least I'm important to 
                         you. Even if it's only 'cause I clean 
                         up you poop.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         The poop eradication is but one aspect 
                         of your importance.
 
               
               [Fry nods then realises Nibbler has just spoken. He screams.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         D-d-did you just talk?

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Indeed. And I have other amazing powers 
                         as well.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Like what?

               
               [He punches Fry and knocks him unconcious.]

               
               [Time Lapse. Nibbler pulls his spaceship out from its hideaway 
               and drags the still unconcious Fry into it. He comes around.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Are you my mommy?

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Negative.

               
               [He closes the roof and takes off.]

               
               [Planet Eternium. Nibbler lands his ship outside the Hall Of 
               Eternity.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Hall Of Eternity.]

               
                                     FIONA
                         Welcome Lord Nibbler.

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Welcome acknowledged. I bring with me...the 
                         Mighty One.
 
               
               [Fry wipes his nose on his sleeve.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Eh?

               
                                     KEN
                         At last, our centuries upon centuries 
                         of waiting have achieved fruition.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Aww, aren't you a fuzzy wittle guy?
 
                         
               
               [He tickles Ken and he purrs.]

               
                                     KEN
                         Stop that! Uh...please. Your mightiness 
                         -
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Mightiness? Are you off your nut? I 
                         just got kidnapped by a bunch of guineapigs.
 
                         
               
               [The Nibblonians gasp and chatter.]

               
                                     KEN
                         Does he not know?

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         He does not know.

               
                                     FIONA
                         He knows not?

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Knows not does he.

               
                                     NIBBLONIAN
                         Not he knows?

               
                                     KEN
                         Enough! Fry, it is my duty to inform 
                         you that the fate of humanity, the fate 
                         of our race, indeed the fate of all 
                         that exists and all that will exist 
                         rests with you. You are the single most 
                         important person in the universe.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Oh snap!

               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         On this auspicious occasion, let the 
                         Hall Of Eternity cut a thunderous blast.
 
                         
               
               [A Nibblonian feebly blows a trumpet. The floor opens and animals 
               on plates rise up in front of the Nibblonians.]
 
               
                                     FIONA
                         The Feast Of A Thousand Beasts is begun.
 
                         
               
               [They tuck in. Fry leaves his zebra.]

               
                                     NIBBLONIAN
                         You gonna eat that?

               
                                     FRY
                         Maybe later.

               
               [The table sinks back into the floor.]

               
               [Time Lapse.]

               
                                     KEN
                         The time has come to discuss matters 
                         of the gravest importance.
 
               
               [He pushes a button and images of the Brainspawn from The Day 
               The Earth Stood Stupid appear on a screen.]
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Fry, do you remember some months ago 
                         when the Earth was attacked by flying 
                         brains?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hmm, I remember the square dancing stomachs, 
                         although that might have been a milanta 
                         commerical. Wait! The brains! I do remember! 
                         But no one else does. They said I was 
                         crazy.
 
               
                                     KEN
                         On the contrary. You remember beause 
                         you were the only one immune to the 
                         brain's mental attack.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Because I'm so smart?

               
               [The Nibblonians laugh.]

               
                                     KEN
                         Oh my. Anyway, your immunity is due 
                         to the fact that you lack the delta 
                         brainwave.  It's a genetic abnormality 
                         which resulted when you went back in 
                         time and performed certain actions which 
                         made you your own grandfather.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I did do the nasty in the pasty!

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Verily. And that past nastification 
                         is what shields you from the brains. 
                         You are the last hope of the universe.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         So I really am important? How I feel 
                         when I'm drunk is correct?
 
               
                                     KEN
                         Yes. Except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't 
                         rock.
 
               
               [Nibblonian Spacecraft.]

               
                                     KEN
                         For a thousand years, the evil brains 
                         have been constructing the giant Infosphere, 
                         a giant memory bank twice the size of 
                         three ordinary memory banks.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         What's so evil about that?

               
                                     FIONA
                         They plan to collect all the information 
                         in the universe and store it in the 
                         sphere.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         So they're trying to learn things?
 
                         
               
                                     FIONA
                         Right.

               
                                     FRY
                         Those bastards!

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Being brains, they feel compelled to 
                         know everything. And soon they will.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm as mad as I've ever been.

               
                                     KEN
                         Once their task is complete, they will 
                         ensure no new information arises in 
                         the only way possible: by destroying 
                         the universe.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Now it's personal.

               
                                     FIONA
                         Your mission is to infiltrate the Infosphere 
                         and plant this quantum-interphase bomb, 
                         blasting them into an alternate universe, 
                         from which there is no return.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Then outrun the blast on this Scooty-Puff 
                         Jr.
 
               
               [He winds the key in the back of the Scooty-Puff Jr. Fiona attaches 
               the bomb to Fry's spacesuit.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         OK, let's go through this once more 
                         -
 
               
               [The Nibblonians open the airlock and Fry is blown out into space. 
               Fry screams. He rides the Scooty-Puff Jr towards the Infosphere. 
               A swarm of brainsspawn fly past him and one hits him on the head.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY
                         Aah! Brains!

               
               [Ken appears on Fry's arm communicator.]

               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         Fear not Mighty One, your missing brainwave 
                         makes you invisible to them. So long 
                         as you avoid intense thinking.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention.
 
                         
               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         That is most wise.

               
                                     FRY
                         Who?

               
               [Cut to: Outside Infosphere.]

               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         In a few seconds the brains will finish 
                         scanning the last bits of information 
                         in the universe.
 
               
               [Brains float past a data port and it scans their information.]
 
               
               
               
               [The scanning ends and the Infosphere initiates a self-scan.]
 
               
               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         Now the Infosphere will open it's protective 
                         crust so as to scan itself, completing 
                         it's thousand year task.
 
               
               [The Infosphere opens and a scanner comes out. It slowing begins 
               to rotate around the Infosphere, scanning as it goes and making 
               a noise like a connecting modem.]
 
               
                                     FIONA [ON SCREEN]
                         This is your one chance to enter the 
                         sphere! Scoot! Scoot now!
 
               
               [Fry scoots through the Infosphere's crust.]

               
               [Cut to: Infosphere. The place is swarming with brains and in 
               the centre of the sphere is a huge master brain. Fry scoots towards 
               it and crashes into it. He climbs to the top where there is a 
               computer console.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I'm at the input console. I'm a little 
                         nervous and I've got brain in my buttcrack.
 
                         
               
                                     NIBBLER [ON SCREEN]
                         Roger.

               
               [Fry attaches the bomb to the console.]

               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         Once you press the detonator, you will 
                         have 60 seconds for an exciting escape.
 
                         
               
               [Fry is about to push the button but hesitates.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Hey wait, this brain knows everything 
                         about everything right?
 
               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         It will soon. That's why you're supposed 
                         to be setting off a bomb.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Yeah yeah, but I can't pass up a chance 
                         to learn the answers to the greatest 
                         questions of all time.  Is it true that 
                         post-it stamp glue is made up of -
 
                         
               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         Correct. Toad mucus.

               
               [On the console screen is a video clip of a postman squeezing 
               a toad so it's mucus drips into a bucket.]
 
               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         There's no time for this. Activate the 
                         bomb.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Wait wait wait.  What really killed 
                         the dinosaurs?
 
               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         Me!

               
               [On the screen is a video clips of the brain flying over the 
               dinosaurs and killing them. A message appears on the screen and 
               a computer voice speaks.]
 
               
                                     COMPUTER VOICE
                         Unauthorised Data Access.

               
               [An alarm goes off and brains surround Fry. Fry screams and starts 
               to wind his Scooty-Puff Jr. It falls apart in his hands.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Uh oh.

               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Detecting trace amounts of mental activity. 
                         Possibly a dead weasel or a cartoon 
                         viewer.
 
               
               [The brains zap Fry.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Eww gross. Cut it out!

               
                                     BRAIN #1
                         Odd. He is immune to our sionic attack.
 
                         
               
                                     BRAIN #2
                         Impossible. We're an ambitious young 
                         squad with everything to prove.
 
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         It appears we are in the presence of 
                         the fabled one. But without his Scooty-Puff 
                         Jr, he cannot escape.  Huh?
 
               
                                     BRAIN #2
                         A quantum-interphase bomb? Are you insane 
                         in the membrane?
 
               
                                     FRY
                         You got it poindexter!

               
               [He activates the bomb.]

               
                                     BRAIN #1
                         Oh, not good!

               
                                     COMPUTER VOICE
                         Detonation in T-60 Earth seconds.

               
                                     BRAIN #3
                         You fool. You'll be transported to the 
                         other universe with us. Trapped there 
                         for all eternity.
 
               
                                     BRAIN #1
                         And we'll form a tightly-knit clique, 
                         that you won't be part of!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Well at least I did one important thing 
                         with my life. Leading good to victory 
                         over evil!
 
               
               [The Nibblonians cheer.]

               
                                     KEN [ON SCREEN]
                         Exactly!

               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         The Nibblonians? Good? During your last 
                         moments in this universe perhaps you 
                         should query our database concerning 
                         the night of December 31st 1999.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         The day I got frozen? What about it?
 
                         
               
                                     NIBBLER [ON SCREEN]
                         No! Don't ask about that! It, it would 
                         be uh...boring!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Eh forget it then.

               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Query!

               
                                     FRY
                         OK sheesh!  What happened to me, Philip 
                         J. Fry, on the night of December 31st 
                         1999?
 
               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         Clarification request. Are you the Philip 
                         J. Fry from Earth or the Philip J. Fry 
                         from Hovering Squidworld 97A?
 
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Earth you fat idiot! Hurry up!

               
               [On the console's screen Fry walks into the cryogenics lab.]
 
               
               
                                     FRY [ON SCREEN]
                         Hello? Pizza delivery for uh...I. C. 
                         Wiener? Aw crud!
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Eurgh! I can't believe how fat I look! 
                          Aw, Nibbler's there. Wait! What?!
 
                         
               
               [On the screen Nibbler blows Fry's tilting chair. Fry begins 
               to lose his balance and the chair tips back. Fry rolls back into 
               the cryo-freezer.]
 
               
                                     FRY [ON SCREEN]
                         What the?

               
               [He panics. The cryo-freezer freezes him in a flash.]

               
                                     FRY
                         I, I don't understand. You made me go 
                         in the freezer tube?
 
               
                                     COMPUTER VOICE
                         Detonation in T-15 seconds.

               
                                     FRY
                         You little runts froze me! You took 
                         away my life!
 
               
                                     NIBBLER [ON SCREEN]
                         We can explain!

               
                                     FRY
                         No you can't. Shut your adorable trap!
 
                         
               
                                     NIBBLER [ON SCREEN]
                         We had no choice. You were the only 
                         one who could help us. What is one life 
                         weighed against the entire universe?
 
                         
               
                                     FRY (CRYING)
                         But it was my life.

               
                                     COMPUTER VOICE
                         Detonation in 2, 1. Will the owner of 
                         a white Pontiac Firebird...oh nevermind. 
                         Zero!
 
               
               [Cut to: Outside Infosphere. The bomb explodes and the Infosphere 
               is sucked into the alternate universe.]
 
               
               [Cut to: Infosphere. It reappears in the alternate universe.]
 
               
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Well, here we are. Trapped for eternity.
 
                         
               
                                     BRAIN #2
                         We could sing American Pie.

               
                                     FRY
                         Go ahead. I deserve it. I wish those 
                         stupid racoons had never brought me 
                         to the future.
 
               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         I have shocking data relevant to this 
                         conversation.
 
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         We don't care you dope! We're in another 
                         universe, you're not in charge anymore.
 
                         
               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         It is possible for the Philip Fry to 
                         resume his life on December 31st 1999.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Really? I can go back in time?

               
               [An image appears on the console.]

               
                                     INFOSPHERE BRAIN
                         There is a nexus point between universes, 
                         at the space-time you entered the cryogenic 
                         tube. You and only you can return there.
 
                         
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Interesting. You could stop the Nibblonian 
                         from pushing you into the cryogenic 
                         tube.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         That is interesting. Why?

               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         It would be as if you never came to 
                         the future. You will have your life 
                         back and we will suceed in our plan 
                         to understand and destroy the universe.
 
                         
               
                                     FRY
                         Everybody wins!

               
                                     BRAIN #2
                         The human will be returned to the past!
 
                         
               
               [Outside Rocket Skating Rink.]

               
                                     NARRATOR
                         Meanwhile...

               
                                     LEELA
                         I love rocket skating! But the wait 
                         is always so long. Fry once stood in 
                         line for six hours just to get me a 
                         ticket.
 
               
                                     CHAZ
                         Six hours? Pfft. Sounds like a real 
                         nobody! But now it's time for somebody 
                         and some chick he's with to go skating.
 
                         
               
               [He shows Leela a sign. Closed For Private Function. She gasps.]
 
               
               
               [Cut to: Rocket Skating Rink.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         You reserved the whole rink?

               
                                     CHAZ
                         Yup. Buzzed ahead, let 'em know who's 
                         aide was coming by. The mayor's, that's 
                         who's.
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh Chaz!

               
               [She kisses him.]

               
               [Time Lapse. Leela and Chaz are now skating around the rink. 
               The kids from the Cookieville Orphanarium look on sadly.]
 
               
                                     SALLY
                         Mr Vogel. I thought we was going skating.
 
                         
               
                                     VOGEL
                         No. We're not important enough. Everybody 
                         just hold hands until the bus driver 
                         gets back from his haircut.
 
               
               [Leela notices the orphans.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Aww, let's let those kids skate with 
                         us.
 
               
                                     CHAZ
                         What? Seriously? I'm trying to impress 
                         you with my cloud here.!
 
               
                                     LEELA
                         I know, and it's working. But think 
                         how much skating would mean to those 
                         kids.
 
               
                                     ORPHAN
                         We came here instead of eating today.
 
                         
               
                                     LEELA
                         This may be their only chance to skate 
                         in their whole lives. Who are we to 
                         say they can't?
 
               
                                     CHAZ
                         The mayor's aide, and his badge! (shouting) 
                         Beat it kids! Come back when you got 
                         connections.
 
               
               [The kids look away sadly.]

               
                                     VOGEL
                         Alright kids. Back to the Orphanarium. 
                         You can slide around the gym in your 
                         socks.
 
               
                                     SALLY
                         What socks?

               
                                     CHAZ
                         So am I gonna get lucky tonight or what?
 
                         
               
               [Leela snatches his badge away from him and stuffs it down his 
               throat.]
 
               
               [Infosphere. The Infosphere Brain types something into to the 
               console. It holds Fry in place.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         I hope your calculations are correct.
 
                         
               
                                     GIANT BRAIN
                         Our calculations are always correct. 
                         For we are gigantic brains.
 
               
                                     BRAIN #2
                         Initiate space-time transfer.

               
               [The Infosphere throws a switch and the console zaps Fry and 
               makes him go all spliggly. He disappears.]
 
               
               [Old New York: December 31st 1999. In a telephone box Nibbler 
               makes a phonecall to Panucci's Pizza.]
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         I hereby place and order for one cheese 
                         pizza.
 
               
                                     PANUCCI [ON PHONE]
                         One pie, nothing good on it. Name?
 
                         
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         I-period C-period Wiener.

               
                                     PANUCCI [ON PHONE]
                         Uh, talk a little louder. It's sounds 
                         like you got some kind of tiny head 
                         on you or something.
 
               
               [Cryogenics Lab. Nibbler paces around under the desk. Enter Fry.]
 
               
               
                                     PAST FRY
                         Hellooo? Pizza delivery for uh, Icy 
                         Wiener? Wiener? Aw crud.
 
               
               [Behind Nibbler, in the corner of the desk Future Fry appears 
               and grabs him.]
 
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Gotcha!

               
               [Nibbler squeals.]

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         I don't understand.

               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Yes you do! You came back in time to 
                         knock me into that freezer. Now I came 
                         back in time to stop you.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         I did not come back in time. My people 
                         lack that ability.
 
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         But, I know you in the future. I cleaned 
                         your poop.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Quite possible. We live long and are 
                         celebrated poopers. You will meet me 
                         when I'm a thousand years older.
 
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Not if you don't freeze me.

               
               [Past Fry sits down on the chair and puts his feet up on the 
               desk.]
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Please. Our saviours foresee that in 
                         a thousand years, at one moment, the 
                         fate of the universe will depend on 
                         you. Since you will not live that long 
                         I must freeze you now.
 
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Well, why couldn't you just ask me?
 
                         
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         We were afraid you would refuse.

               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Of course not, I love the future.

               
                                     NIBBLER (CHOKING)
                         Then why are you choking me right now?
 
                         
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Because I don't like being used.

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Well now it's your choice. Is there 
                         nothing in the future worth saving?
 
                         
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Leela. But she doesn't think much of 
                         me.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Ah, she must be the other.

               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Wha?

               
               [Past Fry's chair starts to tumble back. Future Fry holds the 
               leg.]
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         You must not give up on her. I am stationed 
                         on a distant world known as Vergon 6. 
                         But if you return to the future I will 
                         transfer to Earth to give you what help 
                         I can.
 
               
               [Outside, the countdown to the millenium begins.]

               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         You really think I would have had a 
                         chance with Leela?
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         You must choose. The present or the 
                         future? To save yourself? Or to save 
                         Leela?
 
               
               [The countdown reaches 1. Past Fry leans back on his chair and 
               blows his party blower. Future Fry blows the chair and Past Fry 
               tumbles back into the cryotube which freezes him.]
 
               
                                     FUTURE FRY
                         Yes! Here I come future! Oh no! Wait! 
                         I'm gonna get trapped in the Infosphere 
                         again! Just remember that Scooty-Puff 
                         Jr sucks...
 
               
               [He fades away into nothingness.]

               
                                     NIBBLER
                         In a thousand years I'll get right on 
                         it.
 
               
               [Outside Infosphere. The bomb explodes and the Infosphere is 
               sucked into an alternate universe.]
 
               
                                     NARRATOR
                         And so, a thousand years later Fry once 
                         again infiltrated the Infosphere and 
                         set off his amazing bomb. Only this 
                         time...
 
               
               [Fry speeds away from the Infosphere on his huge Scooty-Puff 
               Sr.]
 
               
               [Alley. Nibbler's ship lands and Fry and Nibbler climb out.]
 
               
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Thank you for saving the universe Fry. 
                          Here.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Whoa, thanks! If you ever need a saviour 
                         again, just ask.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Oh we will. We will.

               
               [He shuts his ship away and puts his leash on.]

               
                                     FRY
                         Man, I can't wait to tell everyone what 
                         happened.
 
               
                                     NIBBLER
                         Uh yes. Incidentally I need to remain 
                         undercover so I'm blanking your memory.
 
                         
               
               [His third eye flashes like the memory stick from Men In Black 
               and Fry looks dazed.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Huh. Did everything just taste purple 
                         for a second? Oh well. Let's go home 
                         you dumb poop machine.
 
               
               [Nibbler chatters.]

               
               [Planet Express: Lounge. Leela holds up a photo of her and Chaz.]
 
               
               
                                     LEELA
                         Bender, would you do the honours?

               
                                     BENDER
                         With gusto.

               
               [He scorches a hole in the photo. Leela looks at it satisfied. 
               Chaz's head has been burnt away. Enter Fry. His head appears 
               in the hole.]
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Hey Leela. I guess I got this for you.
 
                         
               
               [He hands her the flower.]

               
                                     LEELA
                         Oh. Thank you. You know what Fry. I 
                         don't care if you're not the most important 
                         person in the universe. It really makes 
                         me happy to see you right now.
 
               
                                     FRY
                         Then I am the most important person 
                         in the universe.
 
               
               [She kisses him.]

               
               THE END

               
                                     FRY (OVER CREDITS)
                         Yes!

               

The Why Of Fry



Writers :   David X. Cohen
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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