The Internet Movie Script Database (IMSDb)


The web's largest
movie script resource!

Search IMSDb

Alphabetical
# A B C D E F G H
I J K L M N O P Q
R S T U V W X Y Z

Genre
Action Adventure Animation
Comedy Crime Drama
Family Fantasy Film-Noir
Horror Musical Mystery
Romance Sci-Fi Short
Thriller War Western

Sponsor

TV Transcripts
Futurama
Seinfeld
South Park
Stargate SG-1
Lost
The 4400

International
French scripts

Movie Software
DVD ripper software offer
Rip from DVD
Rip Blu-Ray

Latest Comments
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith10/10
Star Wars: The Force Awakens10/10
Batman Begins9/10
Collateral10/10
Jackie Brown8/10

Movie Chat



ALL SCRIPTS





                          THE BOYFRIEND PT 1



                             Written by

                      Larry David & Larry Levin




 
               
               
               (Comedy club)

               
               To me, going to the health club, you see all these people and 
               they're
 
               working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape 
               but the
 
               strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. 
               The only
 
               reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through 
               the
 
               workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for 
               when we have
 
               to do our exercise. This is the whole thing. The other thing 
               I don't get
 
               about it, is why we're so careful about locking up our dirty 
               towels and
 
               smelly jock-straps. What exactly is the black market on these 
               disgusting gym
 
               clothes? I give my car to any valet guy in front of a restaraunt 
               because he
 
               has a short red jacket, yeah he must be the valet guy, I don't 
               even think
 
               about it but my stinking, putrified gym clothes, I got one of 
               these locks
 
               you could put a bullet through it and it won't open. That stuff 
               is safe.
 
               
               
               (Gym Locker Room)

               
                             KRAMER
               Wide open, I was wide open underneath! 
               I had three inches on that
 
               guy. You two were hogging the ball.

               
                             GEORGE
               Me? It wasn't me I never even saw the 
               ball. All you do is dribble.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I have to dribble, if I give it to you, 
               you just shoot. You're a
 
               chucker.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh I'm a chucker.

               
                             JERRY
               That's right, everytime you get the 
               ball you shoot.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I can't believe you called me a chucker. 
               No way I'm a chucker, I do
 
               not chuck, never chucked, never have chucked, never will chuck, 
               no chuck!
 
               
                             JERRY
               You chuck.

               
                             GEROGE
               Kramer am I a chucker?

               
               
                             KRAMER
               You're a chucker.

               
                             GEORGE
               All these years I've been chuckin' and 
               you've never told me?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well it's not an easy thing to bring 
               up.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Hey you know this is the first time 
               we've ever seen each other naked.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Believe me I didn't see anything.

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, you didn't sneak a peak?

               
                             JERRY
               No, did you?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, I snuck a peak.

               
                             JERRY
               Why?

               
                             KRAMER
               Why not? hey what about you George?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               yeah, I ... I snuck a peak. ... But 
               it was so fast I didn't see
 
               anything. It was just a blur.

               
                             JERRY
               I made a conscious effort not to look. 
               There's certain information I just
 
               
               don't want to have.

               
                             KRAMER
               Uh, I gotta go meet Newman. All right. 
               I'll see you later.
 
               
                             JERRY
               All right

               
                             KRAMER
               Have a good one.

               
                             JERRY
               All right

               
                             GEORGE
               See ya.

               
               (Kramer exits)

               
                             GEORGE
               look at this guy. Does he have to stretch 
               in here?
 
               
                             JERRY
               You know who that is? That's

               
                             GEORGE
               Keith Hernandez? The baseball player?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, that's him.

               
                             GEORGE
               Are you sure?

               
                             JERRY
               Positive.

               
                             GEORGE
               Wow, Keith Hernandez. He's such a great 
               player.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, he's a real smart guy too. He's 
               a Civil War buff.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I'd love to be a Civil War buff. ... 
               What do you have to do to be a buff
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So Biff wants to be a buff? ... Well 
               sleeping less than 18 hours a day
 
               
               would be a start.

               
                             GEORGE
               ho ho ho ho. You know I only got two 
               weeks left of unemployment. I got
 
               
               to prove I've been looking for a job to get an extension

               
                             JERRY
               Hey, should we say something to him?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, yeah I'm sure he loves to hear from 
               fans in the locker room.
 
               
                             JERRY
               well he could say hello to me. I wouldn't 
               mind.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               He's Keith Hernandez. You're Jerry Seinfeld.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So?

               
                             GEORGE
               What are you comparing yourself to Keith 
               Hernandez. The guys a baseball
 
               player Jerry, Baseball!

               
                             JERRY
               I know what he is. I recognized him. 
               You didn't even notice him.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               What, ... you are making some wisecracks 
               in a night club... wo wo wo.
 
               The guy was in game SIX two runs down two outs facing elimination.
 
               
               
                             KEITH
               Excuse me. I don't want to disturb you, 
               I'm Keith Hernandez and I just
 
               want to tell you what a big fan I am. I love your comedy.

               
                             JERRY
               Really?

               
                             KEITH
               I've always wanted to do what you do.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What I do? You are one of my favorite 
               ball players of all time
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Mine too.

               
                             KEITH
               I love that bit about Jimmy Olson

               
                             JERRY
               Thank you.

               
                             GEORGE
               You know Keith, what I've always wondered, 
               with all these ball clubs
 
               flying around all season don't you think there would be a plane 
               crash? ...
 
               
                             KEITH
               (to Jerry) Do you perform anywhere in 
               new York right now?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm performing in this club on the east 
               Side. You should come in.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               But if you think about it...26 teams, 
               162 games a season, you'd think
 
               eventually an entire team would get wiped out.

               
                             KEITH
               You know, I live on the East Side.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I'll tell you what, I'll give you my 
               number and uh, just give me a call,
 
               
               tell me whenever you want to go.

               
                             KEITH
               or maybe just to get together for a 
               cup of coffee
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh. that would be great.

               
                             GEORGE
               Uh, it's only a matter of time.

               
                             KEITH
               Who's this chucker?

               
               ---

               
               (Monks)

               
                             JERRY
               It's been three days and he hasn't called.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Well maybe you should call him.

               
                             JERRY
               I can't ... I can't

               
                             ELAINE
               Why not?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know. I just feel he should 
               call me.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               What's the difference?

               
                             JERRY
               You don't understand, Elaine. I don't 
               want to be overanxious. If he wants
 
               
               to see me he has my number, he should call.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yech, look at this ashtray. I hate cigarettes.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I can't stand these guys. You give your 
               number to them and then they
 
               don't call. Why do they do that?

               
                             ELAINE
               I'm sorry honey.

               
                             JERRY
               I mean, I thought he liked me. I really 
               thought he liked me. we were
 
               getting along. He came over to me I didn't go over to him.

               
                             ELAINE
               No,

               
                             JERRY
               Why did he come over to me if he didn't 
               want to see me?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I know.

               
                             JERRY
               What did he come over to me if he didn't 
               want to see me? I mean here I
 
               meet this guy this great guy, a baseball player, best guy I ever 
               met in my life.
 
               .. Well that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another 
               guy again.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Sometimes I've given my number out to 
               guys and it takes them a month to
 
               
               call.

               
                             JERRY
               Hu, good, good,... well if he's calling 
               in a month he's got a prayer!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               You know maybe he's been busy. Maybe 
               he's been out of town?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, they don't have phones out of town? 
               Why do(?) people say they're
 
               too busy. Too busy. Pick up a phone!! It takes two minutes. How 
               can you be
 
               too busy?

               
                             ELAINE
               Why don't you just go ahead and call 
               him?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I can't call here, it's a coffee shop. 
               I mean what am I going to say to
 
               him?

               
                             ELAINE
               Just ask him if he wants a to get together.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               For what dinner?

               
                             ELAINE
               Dinner's good.

               
                             JERRY
               Don't you think that's coming on a little 
               too strong? .. Isn't that like
 
               a turn off?

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, He's A GUY!

               
                             JERRY
               ... this is all .. very confusing.
 
               
               
               STAND UP

               =========

               When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. 
               Whatever the
 
               group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're 
               not
 
               interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not 
               interested in
 
               seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't 
               know the food.
 
               They don't know the activities, If I meet a guy in a club on 
               the gym or
 
               someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have 
               a lot of
 
               potential, but we're just not hiring right now. Of course when 
               you're a kid,
 
               you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little 
               kid what were
 
               the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's 
               my friend,
 
               they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up.? No. Great! 
               Come on in. Jump
 
               up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at 
               all, You like
 
               Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!

               
               
               (New York State Department of Labor)

               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               You know you only have two more weeks 
               before your benefits run out.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yes and I was hoping ... to get a thirteen 
               week extension.
 
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               So where have you been looking for work?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Well you know what I've discovered Mrs. 
               Sokol. It's not so much the
 
               looking as the listening. I listen for work. And as I'm looking 
               and listening I
 
               am also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. 
               It's
 
               looking, and listening, listening and looking. But you must look.
 
               
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               Can you be specific about any of these 
               companies?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Specific, Ah, lets see. I've walked 
               in and out of so many buildings
 
               they all .. blend in together, I uh, ..

               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               Well just give me one name.

               
                             GEORGE
               Absolutely, uh, lets see there's, uh, 
               Vandaley Industries, I just saw
 
               them. I got very close there. very close.

               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               And what type of company is that?

               
                             GEORGE
               Latex, latex manufacturing

               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               And you interviewed there?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yes, for a sales position. Latex salesman, 
               the selling of latex, and
 
               latex related products. They just wouldn't give me a chance.
 
               
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               I'm going to need an address and a phone 
               number for this uh,
 
               Vandaley company...

               
                             GOERGE
               You like gum? 'Cause I have a friend 
               in the gum business. I got a
 
               gum guy. I make one phone call. I got boxes of delivered right 
               to your door.
 
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               The address!

               
                             GEORGE
               YYYDDSSHE(?) ... Jose Jimenez. You recognize 
               it?
 
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               No.

               
                             GEORGE
               Jose Jimenez, ... verrry funny. ..very 
               funny.
 
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               The ADDRESS!

               
                             GEORGE
               uh, Uh, Vandaley Industries, is uh. 
               129 West 81st street. It's a very
 
               
               small industry Vandaley. It's one of the reasons I wanted to 
               uh, work for them.
 
               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               The PHONE number.

               
                             GEORGE
               That's uh, KL5-8383. Are you calling 
               them soon because, they keep very
 
               
               strange hours.

               
                             MRS. SOKOL
               As soon as I'm done wit you!

               
                             GEORGE
               Sure, well uh, you know I'll check in 
               with you next week uh, I gotta run
 
               
               now because I got a full plate this afternoon. All right, really 
               go to
 
               uh,.

               
               (George runs down hall)

               
               (Street phone booth- George pulls kid out of booth)

               
                             GEORGE
               (Frantically, takes phone and screams...) 
               He'll call you back.
 
               
               (Jerry's Apartment)

               
                             KRAMER
               (loungingly talking on phone) It's a 
               par five. So you know I step up to
 
               
               the tee and I hit a beautiful drive right down the middle of 
               the fairway.
 
               I mean you know my hook, right?

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine, how about this shirt? Is this 
               okay?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, ... He's a GUY!

               
                             KRAMER
               well it's a dog leg left, so I play 
               the hook right? .. hold on there's
 
               
               another call.

               
               (Phone Booth)

               
                             GEORGE
               (Frantically) Jerry, Jerry?

               
                             KRAMER
               George?

               
                             GEORGE
               Kramer put Jerry on the phone.

               
                             KRAMER
               (Angrily) Yeah, look I'm in the middle 
               of something. Call back.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Kramer!! Kramer no!!

               
                             KRAMER
               ... so the ball takes of and I'm waiting 
               for it to turn.
 
               
               (Phone Booth)

               
                             GEORGE
               hitting phone

               
               (Cop bangs on booth with kid beside him)

               
               
               (Jerry's Apartment)

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, I'll talk to Jerry. Yeah, (Hangs 
               up) . . . you know that was
 
               Michael and Carol. She's wondering when we're going to come over 
               and see
 
               the baby.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, see the baby again with the baby..
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Who are they?

               
                             JERRY
               Uh, he's this guy who used to live in 
               the building and they keep calling
 
               
               us to see the baby.

               
                             JERRY
               (imitates) Ya' gotta see the babi - 
               When are ya' gonna see the babi...
 
               
               Can't they just send us a tape?

               
                             ELAINE
               You know if you waited a few more months 
               it won't be a baby anymore
 
               then you wouldn't have to see it.

               
                             JERRY
               uh uh because then it would be all grown 
               up.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               yeah ha ha ha

               
                             JERRY
               Hey Kramer what do you think of this 
               shirt?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               (does a double take) It's too busy
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               It looks like you're trying too hard 
               to make an impression on him.
 
               You're not being yourself.

               
                             KRAMER
               What guy?

               
                             JERRY
               I know he's just a guy but .. I LIKE 
               him.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Who are you talkin about?

               
                             JERRY
               Uh, Keith uh Hernandez.

               
                             KRAMER
               KEITH HERNANDEZ?

               
                             NEWMAN
               (enters) KEITH HERNANDEZ?

               
               
               (In cab)

               
                             GEORGE
               Do me a favor would you? Would you change 
               lanes? Would you get outta
 
               this lane. You gotta get out of this lane. This lane stinks. 
               They're
 
               all double parked here Please get outta this lane. I'm beggin 
               you please
 
               please.

               
               (changes lanes)

               
                             GEORGE
               You know what, bad mistake my mistake 
               do me a favor go back to the other
 
               
               lane - you'll never get there - forget this lane - y'a kn ow 
               what this lane
 
               stinks - go back to the other lane - bad decision - go go go 
               take this light -
 
               take this light -

               
                             CABBY
               That's it GET OUT!!

               
                             GEORGE
               Get out?

               
                             CABBY
               Get out of my cab.

               
                             GEORGE
               Wa, I'm not getting out of this cab
 
               
               
               (Cabby gets out)

               
                             GEORGE
               No, no! You can't throw me out

               
               (Wrestling in cab)

               
               (Jerry's Apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               Hellooo Newman.

               
                             KRAMER
               I hate KEITH HERNANDEZ - hate him.
 
               
               
                             NEWMAN
               I despise him.

               
                             ELAINE
               Why?

               
                             NEWMAN
               Why? I'll tell you why...

               
                             KRAMER
               Let me tell it ..

               
                             NEWMAN
               No, you can't tell it ..

               
                             KRAMER
               You always tell it ..

               
                             NEWMAN
               All right, tell it.

               
                             KRAMER
               Ja ja ja - just tell it

               
                             NEWMAN
               June 14, 1987.... Mets Phillies. We're 
               enjoying a beautiful afternoon
 
               in the right field stands when a crucial Hernandez error to a 
               five run Phillies
 
               ninth. Cost the Mets the game.

               
                             KRAMER
               Our day was ruined. There was a lot 
               of people, you know, they were
 
               waiting by the player's parking lot. Now we're coming down the 
               ramp ... (cut
 
               to film of the day - like the Zabruter film - with the Umbrella 
               man and
 
               everything - Oh so brilliant parody!!!) ... Newman was in front 
               of me. Keith
 
               was coming toward us, as he passes Newman turns and says, " Nice 
               game pretty
 
               boy.". Keith continued past us up the ramp.

               
                             NEWMAN
               A second later, something happened that 
               changed us in a deep and
 
               profound way front that day forward.

               
                             ELAINE
               What was it?

               
                             KRAMER
               He spit on us.... and I screamed out, 
               "I'm hit!"
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               Then I turned and the spit ricochet 
               of him and it hit me.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Wow! What a story.

               
                             JERRY
               Unfortunately the immutable laws of 
               physics contradict the whole premise
 
               
               of your account. Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for Miss 
               Benes as
 
               I've heard this story a number of times.

               
                             JERRY
               Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. 
               According to your story Keith
 
               passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were 
               struck on
 
               the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the 
               temple
 
               striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then 
               cam off
 
               the rib turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him 
               to drop his
 
               baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, Pauses In 
               mid air
 
               mind you- makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. 
               That is one
 
               magic luggie.

               
               (THE BRILLIANCE OF THIS SCENE IS THAT IT IS AN EXACT PARODY OF 
               KEVIN COSTNER'S COURTROOM SCENE IN
 
               THE FILM JFK - AND WAYNE KNIGHT PLAYED THE SAME POSITION IN BOTH!!!)
 
               
               
                             NEWMAN
               Well that's the way it happened.

               
                             JERRY
               What happened to your head when you 
               got hit?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well. uh, well my head went back and 
               to the left
 
               
                             JERRY
               Again

               
                             KRAMER
               Back and to the left

               
                             JERRY
               Back and to the left Back and to the 
               left
 
               
                             ELAINE
               So, what are you saying?

               
                             JERRY
               I am saying that the spit could not 
               have come from behind ... that there 
               had to have been
 
               a second spitter behind the bushes on the gravelly road. If the 
               spitter was behind you as you claimed
 
               that would have caused your head to pitch forward.

               
                             ELAINE
               So the spit could have only come from 
               the front and to the right.
 
               
                             JERRY
               But that is not what they would have 
               you believe.
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               I'm leavin'. Jerry's a nut. (Exits)
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Wait, wait, (Exits)

               
                             JERRY
               The sad thing is we may never know the 
               real truth.
 
               
               (George runs in)

               
                             GEORGE
               (Frantically) Did anybody call here 
               asking for Vandaley industries?
 
               
                             JERRY
               No. What happened to you?

               
                             GEORGE
               Now, listen closely. I was at the unemployment 
               office and I told them that I was very 
               close
 
               to getting a job with Vandaley Industries and I gave them your 
               phone number. So, when now when the phone
 
               rings you've got to answer "Vanadaley Industries".

               
                             JERRY
               I'm Vanadaley Industries?

               
                             GEORGE
               Right.

               
                             JERRY
               And what is that?

               
                             GEORGE
               You're in latex

               
                             JERRY
               Latex? And what do I do with latex?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Ya manufacture it.

               
                             ELAINE
               Here in this little apartment?

               
                             JERRY
               And what do I say about you?

               
                             GEORGE
               You're considering hiring me for your 
               latex salesman.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm going to hire you as my latex salesman?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Right.

               
                             JERRY
               I don't think so. Why would I do that?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Because I asked you to.

               
                             JERRY
               If you think I'm looking for someone 
               to just sit at a desk pushing papers
 
               
               around, you can forget it. I have enough headaches just trying 
               to
 
               manufacture the stuff.

               
               (Buzzer)

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah.

               
                             KRAMER
               It's Keith.

               
                             JERRY
               All right we're coming down.

               
                             GEORGE
               KEITH HERNANDEZ:?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, come on Elaine, lets go.

               
                             GEORGE
               Where are you goin?

               
                             ELAINE
               He's giving me a ride You know there 
               had to have been a second spitter.
 
               
               But who was it? Who had the motive?

               
                             JERRY
               That's what I've been trying to figure 
               out the past five years.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               What the hell are you two talking about? 
               (All exit)
 
               
               
               (Keith's car)

               
                             JERRY
               Well that was really fun, thanks.

               
                             KEITH
               Yeah, it really was.

               
                             JERRY
               Should I shake his hand?

               
                             JERRY
               Well, ...

               
                             KEITH
               UH, do you want to catch a movie this 
               weekend? Have you seen JFK?
 
               
                             JERRY
               No, I haven't.

               
                             JERRY
               This weekend. WOW!

               
                             JERRY
               Sure, that would be great.

               
                             JERRY
               Damn, I was too overanxious, he must 
               have noticed that.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I mean, ... if you want to.

               
                             KEITH
               Well, how about this Friday?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, Friday's okay.

               
                             JERRY
               Go ahead shake his hand. You're Jerry 
               Seinfeld. You've been on
 
               the Tonight Show.

               
                             JERRY
               Well, good night (holds hand out and 
               shakes hand)
 
               
                             KEITH
               Goodnight. Oh, Jer, by the way, the 
               woman we gave a ride to earlier
 
               tonight,

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine?

               
                             KEITH
               Yeah. What's her story?

               
                             JERRY
               Uh, I don't know, we used to go out.
 
               
               
                             KEITH
               Would you mind if I gave her a call?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               For a date?

               
                             KEITH
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, no, uh, go ahead. You got a pen?
 
               
               
                             KEITH
               You sure you don't mind?

               
                             JERRY
               .... (silence)

               
               (Jerry's Apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               So then we went to dinner.

               
                             GEORGE
               Who paid?

               
                             JERRY
               We split it.

               
                             GEORGE
               Split it. Pretty good. Talk about game 
               six?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Naw, I gotta wait until its just the 
               right time.
 
               
               (Buzzer)

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah

               
                             ELAINE
               It's Elaine.

               
                             JERRY
               Come on up.

               
                             GEORGE
               So then what?

               
                             JERRY
               Uh, nuthin'. Then he took me home.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Shake his hand?

               
                             JERRY
               (smiling) Yeah

               
                             GEORGE
               What kind of a shake does he have?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Good shake. Perfect shake. Single pump, 
               not too hard, you know, doesn't
 
               have to prove anything, but, you know, firm enough to know he 
               was there.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               So, uh, you gonna see him again?

               
                             JERRY
               He asked me if I was doing anything 
               Friday night.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Wow! The weekend.

               
                             JERRY
               So then as I was getting out of the 
               car, ...
 
               
                             ELAINE
               HI

               
                             JERRY
               Hi Elaine.

               
                             ELAINE
               Sooo, how was your date?

               
                             JERRY
               What date? It's a GUY.

               
                             ELAINE
               So you know , ... he called me.

               
                             JERRY
               Already?

               
                             GEORGE
               Keith called you?

               
                             ELAINE
               (nods)

               
                             GEORGE
               He he This guy really gets around.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Do you mind?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't mind at all. Why should I mind? 
               What did he say?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               He asked me out for Saturday night.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, ya' going?

               
                             ELAINE
               I told him I was busy.

               
                             JERRY
               Ah, really.

               
                             ELAINE
               So, we're going out Friday.

               
               (long pause)

               
                             JERRY
               Friday?

               
                             ELAINE
               yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               He's going' out with you on Friday?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               He's supposed to see ME on Friday.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, uh, I didn't know.

               
                             JERRY
               We made plans.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, uh, I'll cancel it.

               
                             JERRY
               No, don't cancel it.

               
                             ELAINE
               Huh. Well this is a little awkward, 
               isn't it/
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well, frankly it is.

               
                             ELAINE
               I've never seen you jealous before.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Well you're not even a fan. I was at 
               game six - you didn't even watch
 
               it.

               
                             ELAINE
               Wait a second wait a minute, You jealous 
               of him or you jealous of me?
 
               
               (long pause)

               
                             JERRY
               Any Hennigans around here?

               
               (Phone rings)

               
                             JERRY
               Vandaley Industries, Kel Varnsen speaking. 
               May we help you? ... Oh Hi
 
               Keith. Na, I was just jokin' around

               
                             JERRY
               No. No. I don't mind at all.

               
                             ELAINE
               (whispers) No, no, no, I can cancel.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Sure, we can do something next week.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               (whispers I can cancel.

               
                             JERRY
               No, its no problem at all.

               
                             ELAINE
               (whispers) I,...

               
                             JERRY
               Okay, take it easy. (hangs up) That 
               was Keith. we're going to do
 
               something next week.

               
               (Kramer enters)

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey

               
                             JERRY
               Hey what are you doing Friday night?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Friday night? Nothin', ... now.

               
                             KRAMER
               Okay, wanna come with me and see the 
               baby?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Fasten your seat belts. we're goin' 
               to see the baby.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Come on, if you don't see the baby now 
               you're never gonna see it
 
               
                             JERRY
               All right, I'll go

               
                             KRAMER
               All right

               
               (Jerry exits with garbage)

               
               (Kramer sits beside Elaine - awkward moment)

               
               (phone rings)

               
                             KRAMER
               Yallo. What delay industries?

               
                             ELAINE
               no no , ..

               
                             GEORGE
               (from bathroom) VANDALEY, SAY VANDALEY!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Na, you're way way way off.. Well, yeah 
               that's the right number but
 
               this is an apartment

               
                             GEORGE
               (from bathroom) VANDALEY, SAY VANDEL... 
               (George falls) ... vandaley
 
               Industries, ...

               
                             KRAMER
               no problem, ... no problem. (Hangs up) 
               ... How did YOU know who that
 
               was?

               
               (Jerry enters - sees George on the floor)

               
                             JERRY
               And you want to be my latex salesman.
 
               
               
               (Notice magazine is on wrong side on the floor)

               
               
               
               
                           THE END



The Boyfriend Part 1



Writers :   Larry David  Larry Levin
Genres :   Comedy


User Comments







Index    |    Submit    |    Links    |    Link to us    |    RSS Feeds    |    Disclaimer    |    Privacy policy