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Movie Chat



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                             THE BUSBOY



                             Written by

                    Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld




 
               
               
               (Night club)

               
                             JERRY
               I'm not a foodie. I don't, "Oh, this 
               is too rare. Oh, it's too salty." Just 
               eat it and shut up. I'll eat anywhere, 
               whatever they're having. I have eaten 
               rotten rolls
 
               
               off of room service trays in hotel hallways. I have. It's not 
               a joke. This is my life. I don't know, somebody left it. Why 
               would someone poison a roll, and leave it in a
 
               
               hallway for some comic coming down at two o' clock in the morning? 
               Why would they do that? Sometimes you go to a nice restaurant, 
               they put the check in a little
 
               
               book. What is this? The story of the bill? "Once upon a time, 
               there were some very hungry people.." What is this? A little 
               gold tassle hanging down? Am I graduating
 
               
               from the restaurant? What is this about?

               
               

               
               (A restaurant)

               
               (Jerry, George, and Elaine are all eating at an Italian restaurant. 
               George hasn't eaten anything)
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Do you want some of mine?

               
                             JERRY
               Take some of mine.

               
                             GEORGE
               Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I'll 
               like it? I keep trying to like it, like 
               I have to like it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Who said you have to like it?

               
                             GEORGE
               Everybody likes pesto. You walk into 
               a restaurant, that's all you hear - 
               pesto, pesto, pesto.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I don't like pesto.

               
                             GEORGE
               Where was pesto 10 years ago?

               
                             JERRY
               (Gesturing to a man) Look at that guy. 
               (Elaine starts to look, but Jerry stops 
               her) I'll bet you he's gettin' hair 
               transplants. Any time you see a guy 
               that age
 
               
               wearing a baseball cap, ten to one - plugs.

               
                             ELAINE
               (Elaine turns to look at the man, trying 
               to make it sound like they aren't talking 
               about him) The thing about that painting.. 
               is with the colors and um.. (Turns
 
               
               
               back to Jerry) Oh yeah, plugola.

               
               (George has started eating Elaine's food - and continues to do 
               so)
 
               
                             JERRY
               (To Elaine) Oh, one more thing about 
               the car. Let it warm up for a minute.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               That's a tough minute. It's like waiting 
               in the shower for the conditioner to 
               work.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I don't understand why he couldn't take 
               a cab.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Who?

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine is having a "houseguest." She's 
               picking him up at the airport tonight.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               A guy?

               
                             ELAINE
               (Slightly embarrassed) Yes, a guy.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               He's from a.. Yakima, right?

               
                             ELAINE
               Seattle.

               
                             JERRY
               Everybody's moving to Seattle.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's the pesto of cities. So..?

               
                             ELAINE
               (To Jerry) You tell him.

               
                             JERRY
               Well, from what I can piece together, 
               our friend here met a gentleman.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Ed.

               
                             JERRY
               Who was in town on a business venture, 
               and um..
 
               
                             ELAINE
               ..We shared an interpersonal experience. 
               (George hits his glass with his fork. 
               To Jerry) Go on.
 
               
                             JERRY
               So they went out a few times, but apparently, 
               when the fellow returned home, he discovered 
               that the Benes tattoo does not wash 
               off so easily.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               On some people.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oooh.

               
                             JERRY
               So, he's coming in to stay with her 
               for a week.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               It was just gonna be a weekend, but 
               then somehow it became a week.
 
               
               (The menu at a neighboring table catches fire. Elaine quickly 
               picks up a wine glass - about to put it out, but George tosses 
               the menu on the floor, and stomps it out.
 
               
               The manager approaches)

               
                             MANAGER
               What happened?

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, the busboy left the menu a little 
               close to the candle.
 
               
                             MANAGER
               Sorry to the disturbance.

               
                             ELAINE
               (Joking, she snobbishly says) I'm never 
               eating here again.
 
               
               (Manager leaves)

               
                             JERRY
               (Pats George on the back) Nice going. 
               Thank you, that ought to get us a free 
               dessert.. (They can see the manager 
               chewing the busboy out from the dining
 
               
               
               room doorway) I think the busboy's in trouble.

               
                             GEORGE
               Did I get him in trouble? Because of 
               what I said?! I just told him what happened.. 
               he didn't do it on purpose.. (Mangager 
               and busboy are arguing. The
 
               
               busboy points in the direction of George) He pointed at me. Why 
               did he point at me?!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I said I would never eat here again.. 
               But, I, I.. he had to know I was kidding.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Casually buttering a roll, like he's 
               the innocent one) I didn't say anything.
 
               
               
               (The busboy takes of his apron, throws it down, and exits the 
               restaurant)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I can't believe it. He's going! He's 
               fired!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, I said it in a kidding way.

               
                             GEORGE
               I didn't know he'd get fired.

               
                             JERRY
               (Jokingly trying to put more pressure 
               on Elaine and George) He'll probably 
               kill his family over this.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               What if he's waiting for me outside? 
               He pointed at me! Did you see him point?!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Again, joking) A lot of ex-cons become 
               busboys. They seem to gravitate twards 
               'em.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Was it my fault?

               
                             ELAINE
               Was it my fault?

               
                             JERRY
               (Doesn't have a care in the world) ..Maybe 
               I'll try that pesto.
 
               
               

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               Look, I feel bad for him too, but he'll 
               get another job. I mean, let's face 
               it, it's not a profession where you 
               embellish your resume and undergo a 
               series of
 
               
               grueling interviews.

               
                             GEORGE
               (Eating a sandwich) Oh, like you really 
               know busboys.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, like you do.

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, at least I was a camp waiter.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Scoffing) Camp.

               
                             GEORGE
               It was a fat camp. Those kids depended 
               on me.
 
               
               (The intercom buzzes, Jerry talks through it)

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine?

               
                             ELAINE
               (Through intercom) Yeah.

               
               (Jerry pushes a button on the intercom - letting her in)

               
                             JERRY
               Busboys are always changing jobs. That's 
               the business. I know. I work with these 
               guys. I tallk to them in the kitchen 
               at the comedy clubs.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Then why don't you try and get him another 
               job?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'd love to, but I don't know anything 
               about him. He could be one of those 
               people that walks around the street 
               pricking people with pins.
 
               
               (Elaine enters)

               
                             ELAINE
               I don't know if you people are aware 
               of this, but I am one clever chickadee.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               What? Did you get the busboy's number?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               His phone's been disconnected, but I 
               was able to obtain an address - 1324 
               Amsterdam Avenue, apartment 4D. (Hands 
               George a card) Now, I did my
 
               
               job. (To Jerry) May I have the car keys, please?

               
               (Jerry hands the car keys to Elaine)

               
                             GEORGE
               How did you get all this?

               
                             ELAINE
               Does the word "charm" mean anything 
               to you?
 
               
                             JERRY
               No. (George grabs his jacket) So now 
               you're going to his apartment? I really 
               think this is nuts.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (Putting his jacket on) I'd like to 
               apologize. I want to tell him I.. I.. 
               didn't mean to get him in trouble.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               You, you're going now?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, I want to see if there's anything 
               I can do.. maybe get him another job.. 
               maybe I'll hear of something.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Maybe the fat camp. (To Elaine) You're 
               not going?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I would, but I have to pick up Ed at 
               the airport.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I just don't think you should go alone. 
               Can't you wait till after my set?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               It'll take to long.

               
               (Kramer enters)

               
                             JERRY
               Take the K-man. A little support..
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               (Unsure) I don't a..

               
                             KRAMER
               Take me where? Where?

               
               

               
               (An apartment building hallway)

               
               (George's nervous - standing with Kramer infront of the busboy's 
               apartment)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Look, I really appreciate your coming, 
               but if you wouldn't mind - try not to 
               say too much.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               What am I gonna say?

               
                             GEORGE
               I don't know.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, I'm not an idiot.

               
                             GEORGE
               Certainly not.

               
                             KRAMER
               Then we're cool.

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah.. yeah, we're - we're cool. (Knocks 
               lightly. Kramer takes charge by knocking 
               on the door louder. The busboy answers) 
               Uh, I'm sorry to bother
 
               
               you, I was in the restaurant earlier and I was wondering if I 
               could talk to you for a few minutes about what happened. (He 
               gestures for them to come in. They obey)
 
               
               I hope I'm not interrupting anything. It's just that I think 
               I may have - without realizing it - been responsible for getting 
               you fired. (Nervously laughs) And.. and.. and I
 
               
               just want you to know that I didn't intend for that to happen.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               (Patting George on the shoulder) He's 
               a hell of a guy.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               This is a guy I know.. Kramer.

               
               (Antonio, the busboy, is watching them suspiciously)

               
                             KRAMER
               ┐Habla espanol?

               
                             GEORGE
               (To himself) Oh my God.

               
                             ANTONIO
               Si.

               
                             KRAMER
               ┐Como se dice.. waterbed?

               
                             GEORGE
               (Interrupting) Anyway, I just wanted 
               to let you know I'm really sorry that 
               happened, and if I can help out in any 
               way, I'll certainly be glad to do that.
 
               
               
               (Pause) Well, I guess that's about it.

               
                             KRAMER
               You got anything to drink? ┐Agua?

               
                             GEORGE
               Oy uy uy.. (Antonio points to the sink) 
               We really should get going.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Let me get a glass of water. (Heads 
               tward the sink)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hurry up.

               
                             ANTONIO
               (Notices that his cat is missing) Pequita? 
               Pequita? (Starts to panic)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               His cat's gone.

               
                             ANTONIO
               (Notes the door was left wide open) 
               La puerta esta abierta. (Starts screaming) 
               La puerta esta abierta! (To Kramer and 
               George) Who left the door
 
               
               open? (Silence) Who left the door open?! (Kramer and George look 
               at eachother) Come on, come on! Help me look! (All three head 
               out the door to look)
 
               
               

               
               (Antonio's apartment)

               
               (All three sit in silence)

               
                             KRAMER
               ..You know, cats run away all the time. 
               You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ran 
               away. Showed up three years later.. 
               you never know. They got things in
 
               
               
               their brains where they remember where they're from. Unless, 
               of course, somebody else starts feeding him. See, that's what 
               you gotta worry about.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (Gestures for Kramer to shut up) Once 
               again, Antonio, I can't even begin to 
               say how deeply, deeply sorry I am about 
               everything. The job, the cat.. (A
 
               
               
               lamp breaks) the lamp.

               
                             KRAMER
               The wire was sticking out.. (Fits the 
               two broken pieces together) Yeah.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               (Hands Antonio a card) Here's my card. 
               I'm in real estate, so, if you're ever 
               looking for something bigger, something 
               nicer.. (Antonio is staring at him,
 
               
               
               angered) ..maybe not right now. Anyway.. (Extends his hand for 
               a handshake. Antonio doesn't move)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               You oughta get that wire fixed. (They 
               go to leave) I got the door. (Shuts 
               the door, the broken lamp falls to the 
               floor)
 
               
               

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               (On the phone) George, stop worrying 
               about this guy. It wasn't your fault.. 
               Come on, he's not stalking you.
 
               
               (Kramer enters)

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey.

               
                             JERRY
               (To Kramer) Hey. (To George) He doesn't 
               even know where you live.. Who told 
               you to give him your business card?.. 
               (Intercom buzzes) That's Elaine.
 
               
               (Kramer buzzes her in. Jerry talks into the phone) Kramer.. (To 
               Kramer) George wants to know when you want to look for the cat 
               again.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               It's been a week. It's up to the cat 
               now.
 
               
                             JERRY
               (Into phone) Kramer says it's up to 
               the cat now. (To Kramer) It'll be on 
               your conscience.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh? How do you figure?

               
                             JERRY
               (Into phone) How do you figure? (To 
               Kramer) 'Cause you're the one who left 
               the door open.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Why was I in charge of closing the door?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Into phone) Why was he in charge of 
               closing the door? (Irritated at the 
               phone message relay, to Kramer) 'Cause 
               you came in after him!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               So!

               
                             JERRY
               (Into phone) So! (To Kramer - getting 
               even more angry) So, the last person 
               in should close the door!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Let me talk to him.

               
                             JERRY
               (To Kramer) Talk - call him from your 
               house. (Elaine enters. Kramer leaves. 
               To phone) He's calling you now.. okay. 
               (Hangs up)
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Ed's downstairs. CAn I have the car 
               keys?
 
               
               (Jerry pitches her the keys as she goes some tward his bathroom)
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               No hello?

               
                             ELAINE
               Got any asprin? (Finds some) Hello. 
               Now, lookit, you guarantee this car 
               will get me to the airport tomarrow? 
               No problems?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Guarantee? ..Hey, it's a car.

               
                             ELAINE
               Because if there's even the slightest 
               chance of any problem at all, I don't 
               want to take it - because if I don't 
               get this guy on a plane to Seattle and 
               out of my
 
               
               life, I'm gonna kill him, and everyone who tries to stop me.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Jokingly asking) So, did you have a 
               nice week together?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I heard a little ping in the car last 
               time. What was that ping?
 
               
                             JERRY
               There's no ping. Why are you so wacky?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, you cannot imagine how much I 
               hate this guy.. and he hasn't even done 
               anything! It's the situation. He's a 
               wonderful guy, but I hate his guts!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So, you two been, uh..

               
                             ELAIEN
               No! I told him I've been having my period 
               for the last five days! I'm sleeping 
               all squished over on the edge of my 
               bed.. But, I've only got fourteen hours 
               to
 
               
               go. Nothing can go wrong now. I think I've taken care of everything. 
               I've confirmed the plane reservation. I've checked the weather..
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What's your airport route?

               
                             ELAINE
               I've got it all mapped out - I'm taking 
               the tunnel.
 
               
                             JERRY
               ..What about the Van Wyck?

               
                             ELAINE
               I spoke to a cab driver. For five bucks, 
               he turned me on to the Rockaway Boulevard 
               shortcut.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oooh.

               
                             ELAINE
               Now, lookit, this plane leaves at 10:15. 
               We're getting up at about eight. That 
               gives us enough time, right?
 
               
                             JERRY
               You still using that old alarm clock?
 
               
               
                             ELAIEN
               Oh, no, no. I bought a new one today. 
               It's got everything - it's got everything... 
               If you oversleep more than ten minutes, 
               a hand comes out and slaps you in
 
               
               
               the face.

               
               

               
               (Night club)

               
                             JERRY
               Flying doesn't make me nervous - driving 
               to the airport can make you very nervous 
               because when you're flying, when you're 
               getting on the plane, if you miss
 
               
               
               that plane, there's no alternative. On the ground, you have options. 
               You have buses, you have taxis, you have trains. But, when you're 
               taking a flight, if you miss it,
 
               
               that's it. No airline goes, "Well, you missed the flight, we 
               do have a cannon leaving in about ten minutes. Would you be interested 
               in that? It's not a direct cannon,
 
               
               you have to change cannons after you land." (Imitates cannon 
               operator) "I'm sorry, where you goin'? Chicago? (Cranks the cannon) 
               Oh, Dallas? Alright, wait a
 
               
               second.. (Cranks cannon to Dallas) Dallas. That's about Dallas. 
               Texas, anyway. You should hit Texas. Are you ready? Make sure 
               you get out of the net
 
               
               immediately, because we shoot the luggage in right after you."
 
               
               
               

               
               (Elaine's apartment)

               
                             
               15 - they overslept. She gets frantic)
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               (Trying to wake Ed up) Get up! The alarm 
               clock didn't go off! (Shakes him) It's 
               9:15! You're gonna miss the plane! It's 
               9:15!
 
               
                             ED
               9:15?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes! 9:15!

               
                             ED
               (Going back to sleep) We'll never make 
               it. I'll leave tomarrow.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Tomarrow?! Are you crazy? No, now, now! 
               Let's go! (Gets his suitcase from the 
               closet, throws it on the bed, and frantically 
               starts packing) You get
 
               
               dressed! Get dressed!

               
                             ED
               Can I shower?

               
                             ELAINE
               Shower?! ARe you out of your mind?!
 
               
               
                             ED
               I gotta shower. I'll feel dirty all 
               day.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Forget the shower! The shower's out. 
               Move it! Put your clothes on! Put your 
               clothes on! (Pulls out drawers of clothes, 
               turning them over in the suitcase.
 
               
               
               He walks tward the door) Where are you going?

               
                             ED
               The kitchen.

               
                             ELAINE
               The kitchen?!

               
                             ED
               I've got a bag of cashews in there.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               They're not making it! Let's get your 
               pants on!
 
               
                             ED
               What's the big deal if we don't make 
               it? I'll just go tomarrow or the next 
               day.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               No! You have your ticket! You have to 
               go now!
 
               
                             ED
               I'll never make it.

               
                             ELAINE
               Don't say that!

               
                             ED
               But it takes forty-five minutes to get 
               there. That'll only leave me five minutes 
               to get to the plane.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Shut up and pack!

               
                             ED
               And what if I don't make the plane? 
               You'll have already left. Then what 
               will I do?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               You're talking too much!

               
                             ED
               Where's my sweater?

               
                             ELAINE
               What?!

               
                             ED
               My brown sweater.

               
                             ELAINE
               What? What sweater?

               
                             ED
               My brown sweater.

               
                             ELAINE
               You didn't bring a brown sweater.

               
                             ED
               I brought a brown sweater.

               
                             ELAINE
               Here! Here! You want a brown sweater?! 
               (Recahes into one of her drawers, and 
               grabs a brown sweater, then packs it) 
               You got a brown sweater!
 
               
                             ED
               That's not mine. I can't take your sweater.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               It's brown! (Takes clothes still on 
               the hangers, and dumps them into the 
               suitcase)
 
               
                             ED
               What are you doing?!

               
                             ELAINE
               NO time for folding.. (Looks around) 
               I think that's it. (Zips up the suitcase)
 
               
               
                             ED
               My shoes. You packed my shoes.

               
                             ELAINE
               Shoes? Shoes?! Shoes?! Shoes weren't 
               invented till the fourth century! People 
               walked around for thousands of years 
               without them! (Puts her coat on over
 
               
               
               her nightie. He picks up his suitcase, she grabs it from him, 
               then pushes him out of her way) I got this. Let's go!
 
               
               

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               Anywhere in the city?

               
                             GEORGE
               Anywhere in the city - I'll tell you 
               the best public toilet.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Okay.. Fifty-fourth and Sixth?

               
                             GEORGE
               Sperry Rand Building. 14th floor, Morgan 
               Apparel. Mention my name - she'll give 
               you the key.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Alright.. Sixty-fifth and Tenth.

               
                             GEORGE
               (Scoffs) ARe you kidding? Lincoln Center. 
               Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent 
               facilities.
 
               
               (Elaine enters. She's still wearing her nightclothes under her 
               coat. Her hair is messed up. She's been through quite an ordeal)
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               (Slow, as if remember a dream) I never 
               new I could drive like that. I was going 
               faster than I've ever gone before, and 
               yet, it all seemed to be happening in
 
               
               
               slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving 
               in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold metal run. 
               I knew I was challenging the very laws
 
               
               of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel 
               Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there.. and then.. 
               I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one's
 
               
               ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this - I 
               came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn't been for that 
               five-car-pile-up on Rockaway
 
               
               Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right 
               now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.
 
               
               (Kramer enters)

               
                             KRAMER
               ..The busboy's coming! The busboy's 
               coming!
 
               
                             GEORGE
               The busboy's coming?

               
                             JERRY
               You don't mean here?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah. I just buzzed him in. He's on 
               his way up..
 
               
                             GEORGE
               He's coming up?! (Moves to the door) 
               I'll check you out later.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Where are you going?

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm the one he wants! He's coming to 
               settle the score.
 
               
                             JERRY
               (Trying to get George and Kramer out) 
               No. You three all know each other. There's 
               no point in me getting involved at this 
               stage of the game.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               No, he's not going to do anything. I 
               guarantee it.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, the hell with it. Let him kill me. 
               I..
 
               
               (There's a knock in the hallway)

               
                             KRAMER
               Antonio. In here!

               
               (Antonio enters)

               
                             GEORGE
               (Nervous, his voice cracks) Hey, Antonio. 
               How's it going?
 
               
               (Antonio crosses over to George, and gives him a hug)

               
                             ANTONIO
               Three nights ago, a gas main beneath 
               the restaurant exploded, killing five 
               people in my section, including the 
               busboy who replaced me. If I am not 
               fired
 
               
               that night because of you and your thoughtless, stupid, insensitive 
               remarks, it would have been me. You saved my life. (Hugs him 
               again)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (Trying to be modest) Ah, come on..
 
               
               
               (The intercom buzzes)

               
                             ELAINE
               (Into the intercom) Yeah?

               
                             ED
               It's Eddie.

               
                             ELAINE
               He's coming up. (Buzzes him in) He's 
               coming up..
 
               
                             ANTONIO
               And that very same night of the accident, 
               while looking for Pequita, I found a 
               job in a restaurant where they pay me 
               almost twice what I was making
 
               
               before - and when I returned to the apartment, Pequita, perhaps 
               frightened from the explosion, had miraculously returned. Well, 
               but now, I must go, for today I am
 
               
               starting my new and wonderful job. And I am very late. Thank 
               you, thank you, thank you all. (Leaves)
 
               
               (Everyone ad-libs congratulations to George. Then, we hear a 
               fight erupting from the hallway)
 
               
                             ED
               Hey, watch were you're going. You almost 
               knocked my head off!
 
               
                             ANTONIO
               Hey, why don't you watch where you're 
               going, okay? 'Cause you bumped into 
               me!
 
               
                             ED
               Who do you think you're talking to, 
               pal?
 
               
                             ANTONIO
               Hey, get your hands off me!

               
                             ED
               Go to hell!

               
               (Antonio screams out profanity in Spanish, then we hear them 
               getting into a serious fight)
 
               
               

               
               (Coffee shop)

               
                             JERRY
               He'll get another job. He's a busboy!
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               It won't for a while. At least not until 
               after the cast comes off.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It was that fall down the stairs. That's 
               what did it.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               That's not how it happened. It's when 
               he fell on him with his knee.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, that was awful. Poor Antonio. (Waiter 
               hands Elaine two bags of food to go) 
               ..Thanks.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               So, much longer?

               
                             ELAINE
               Till when - till he goes back to Seattle, 
               or till he can feed himself?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (Not wanting to make Elaine mad) I guess 
               it's not important.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Take care of yourselves. (Leaves)

               
                             GEORGE
               I should probably get going too. If 
               I don't feed Pequita by seven, she goes 
               all over everything.. take it easy.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah.. (Takes a bite of his sandwich 
               as the waiter starts cleaning off the 
               table) How ya doing?
 
               
               

               
               (Night club)

               
                             JERRY
               First of all, I can't believe that people 
               actually do fight. People have fist 
               fights in life. I can't really believe 
               that we have boxing either. It's really 
               kind of an
 
               
               amazing thing. To me, the problem with boxing is - you have two 
               guys having a fight that have no prior argument. Why don't they 
               have the boxers come into the ring
 
               
               in little cars, drive around a bit, have a little accident? They 
               get out, "Didn't you see my signal?" "Look at that fender!" ..Then 
               you'd see a real fight.
 
               
               
               
               
                                THE END






The Busboy



Writers :   Larry David  Jerry Seinfeld
Genres :   Comedy


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