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                         THE FINALE PART 2
						  
						  
						  
                            Written by

                           Larry David
						  
				  
 
               
               (The four are in prison, having a meal)

               
                             KRAMER
               Mmmm, this is pretty good chow, huh?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Would it kill him to check up on us? 
               No - drops off the meals and that's 
               it. I realize we're prisoners, but we're 
               still entitled to catsup.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I guess we could've called for help.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               But then we would have missed the whole 
               thing.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I still had it on video. We could have 
               watched it later.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, he's right.

               
                             JERRY
               I forgot about the video.

               
                             ELAINE
               Sure - the video.

               
               (Jerry's beeper starts beeping)

               
                             ELAINE
               What is that?

               
                             JERRY
               Plane's ready.

               
               (Rivera Live news show)

               
                             RIVERA
               Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera. Tonight 
               we'll be talking about what most of 
               you have probably been
 
               
               discussing in your homes, and around the water coolers in your 
               offices. I am speaking of course of the controversial Good Samaritan 
               trial that gets underway Thursday in Latham, Massachusetts. Now 
               before we meet our distinguished panel, let's go to Latham live, 
               where Jane Wells is standing by. Jane-
 
               
                             WELLS
               Yes. Good evening, Geraldo.

               
                             RIVERA
               What's the mood? What's going on tonight?
 
               
               
                             WELLS
               Well, Latham is fairly quite tonight, 
               considering the media circus that has 
               descended upon this quaint little town.
 
               
               
                             RIVERA
               And what about the defendants - the 
               so-called New York Four. How are they 
               holding up?
 
               
                             WELLS
               Well, I did speak with one of the deputies 
               who had some contact with them, and 
               he told me quote "There's no love lost 
               with that group."
 
               
                             RIVERA
               Anything else, Jane?

               
                             WELLS
               There also seems to be some friction 
               between Mr. Seinfeld, and Ms. Benes. 
               The rumor is that they once dated,
 
               
               
               and it's possible that ended badly.

               
                             RIVERA
               Well, ladies and gentlemen, who know, 
               maybe this trial will bring them closer 
               together. Maybe they'll even end up 
               getting married.
 
               
               (Jerry's parents are packing)

               
                             HELEN
               I hope you packed enough - this trial 
               could last for weeks.
 
               
                             MORTY
               What's all that?

               
                             HELEN
               Cereal.

               
                             MORTY
               You're packing cereal?

               
                             HELEN
               I'm bringing it for Jerry.

               
                             MORTY
               You got enough here for a life sentence.
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               He likes it. He says he misses that 
               more that anything.
 
               
                             MORTY
               So bring a snack-pack.

               
               (George's parents are packing)

               
                             ESTELLE
               Poor Georgie, was it our fault this 
               happened to him? Did we do something 
               wrong? Maybe it was our fault.
 
               
                             FRANK
               Maybe it was your fault. It wasn't my 
               fault. I can tell you that.
 
               
                             ESTELLE
               Oh, so it was my fault, but not yours.
 
               
               
                             FRANK
               You were the one who smothered him.
 
               
               
                             ESTELLE
               I did not smother him.

               
                             FRANK
               You smothered! He couldn't get any air! 
               He couldn't breathe! He was suffocating!
 
               
               
                             ESTELLE
               Sure, and you were always in Korea with 
               your religious chachkis.
 
               
                             FRANK
               I had to make a living!

               
               (Newman, laughing, leaves his building with a suitcase. Uncle 
               Leo leaves with his bags, followed by J. Peterman, David Puddy 
               in his 8-ball jacket, Mickey, Kenny Bania, Mr. and Mrs. Ross, 
               Mr. Bookman, Keith Hernandez, and George
 
               
               Steinbrenner.)

               
               (The four are at a table. Jerry and Kramer are enjoying some 
               cereal, while they wait for Jackie Chiles.)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               This is excellent huh? Don't worry I 
               didn't use too much milk, cause I know 
               we gotta make it last.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You know I've had to reduce my milk 
               level. My whole life I've always filled 
               to at least three quarters - sometimes, 
               to the top of the cereal. Now, to conserve, 
               I can't even see the milk anymore. It's 
               a big adjustment.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I bet.

               
                             JERRY
               It's one of the hardest things I've 
               ever had to do.
 
               
               (Enter Jackie Chiles)

               
                             CHILES
               Good morning.

               
                             ELAINE
               Good morning, Jackie.

               
                             JERRY
               Good morning.

               
                             CHILES
               Is everybody ready? Didn't I tell you 
               I wanted you to wear the cardigan?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               It makes me look older.

               
                             CHILES
               Look older? Do you think this is a game? 
               Is that what you think this is? I'm 
               trying to give you amoral compass. You 
               have no moral compass. You're going 
               to walk into that courtroom, and the 
               jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil 
               George Costanza. I want them to see 
               Perry Como. No one's going to convict 
               Perry Como. Perry Como helps out a fat 
               tub who's getting robbed.
 
               
               (Jerry laughs)

               
                             CHILES
               Do you think it's funny?

               
                             JERRY
               No.

               
                             CHILES
               You damn right it isn't. You better 
               not be carrying on laughing in that 
               courtroom, funny man. Cause if you start 
               getting all smart-alecky, making wisecracks, 
               acting a fool, you gonna find yourself 
               in here for a long, long time. I don't 
               like that tie. Suzie, get one of my 
               ties from my briefcase.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               How do I look, Jackie?

               
                             CHILES
               Oh, you looking good. You look strong. 
               You one fine-looking sexy lady.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Thank you, Jackie.

               
                             KRAMER
               How bout me, Jackie?

               
                             CHILES
               Kramer, you always look good. You got 
               respect for yourself. You're genuine. 
               Jury's going to pick up on that.
 
               
               (Jackie hands Jerry a tie)

               
                             CHILES
               Here.

               
                             JERRY
               This one?

               
                             CHILES
               That's right.

               
                             JERRY
               Do I have to?

               
                             ELAINE
               Jackie says put it on, Jerry.

               
               (Court is starting)

               
                             BAILIFF
               All rise. Fourth District County Court, 
               Latham, Massachusetts is now in session. 
               The Honorable Judge
 
               
               Arthur Vandelay presiding.

               
                             GEORGE
               Vandelay? The judge's name is Vandelay?
 
               
               
                             CHILES
               Vanda who?

               
                             GEORGE
               Jerry, did you hear that?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah.

               
                             GEORGE
               I think that's a good sign.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Is the District Attorney ready to proceed?
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               We are, Your Honor.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Mr. Hoyt.

               
                             HOYT
               Ladies and gentlemen, last year, our 
               City Council by a vote of twelve to 
               two, passed a Good Samaritan Law. Now, 
               essentially, we made it a crime to ignore 
               a fellow human being in trouble. Now 
               this group from New York not only ignored, 
               but, as we will prove, they actually 
               mocked the victim as he was being robbed 
               at gunpoint. I can guarantee you one 
               other thing, ladies and gentlemen, this 
               is not the first time they have behaved 
               in this manner. On the contrary, they 
               have quite a record of mocking and maligning. 
               This is a history of selfishness, self-absorption, 
               immaturity, and greed. And you will 
               see how everyone who has come into contact 
               with these four individuals has been 
               abused, wronged, deceived and betrayed. 
               This time, they have gone too far. This 
               time they are going to be held accountable. 
               This time, they are the ones who will
 
               
               
               pay.

               
               (Newman shown eating popcorn)

               
                             VANDELAY
               Mr. Chiles.

               
                             CHILES
               I am shocked and chagrined, mortified 
               and stupefied. This trial is outrageous! 
               It is a waste of the taxpayers' time 
               and money. It is a travesty of justice 
               that these four people have been incarcerated 
               while the real perpetrator is walking 
               around laughing - lying and laughing, 
               laughing and lying. You know what these 
               four people were? They were innocentbystanders. 
               Now, you just think about that term. 
               Innocent. Bystanders. Because that's 
               exactly what they were. We know theywere 
               bystanders, nobody's disputing that. 
               So how can a bystander be guilty? No 
               such thing. Have you ever heard of a 
               guilty bystander? No, because you cannot 
               be a bystander and be guilty. Bystanders 
               are by definition, innocent. That is 
               the nature of bystanding. But no, they 
               want to change nature here. They want 
               to create a whole new animal - the guilty 
               bystander. Don't you let them do it. 
               Only you can stop them.
 
               


               
                             VANDELAY
               Is the prosecution ready to present 
               its first witness?
 
               
                             HOYT
               We are, Your Honor. Call Officer Matt 
               Vogel to the stand.
 
               
                             BAILIFF
               Call Matt Vogel.

               
                             HOYT
               So they were just standing there?

               
                             VOLEG
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               Did one of them have a video camera?
 
               
               
                             VOGEL
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               Your Honor, with the court's permission, 
               we would like to play back that video 
               and enter it into evidence as Exhibit 
               A.
 
               
                             VANDELAY
               Proceed.

               
               (The tape plays)

               
                             VICTIM
               Don't shoot.

               
                             JERRY
               Well, there goes the money for the lipo.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               See, the great thing about robbing a 
               fat guy is it's an easy getaway. They 
               can't really chase ya!
 
               
                             GEORGE
               He's actually doing him a favor. It's 
               less money for him to buy food.
 
               
                             
               the victim of the robbery)

               
                             HOYT
               So they just stood there and did nothing?
 
               
               
                             VICTIM
               Yeah, nothing. Nothing!

               
                             HOYT
               No further questions.

               
               (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi)

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey! Great plane! Thanks a lot. Piece 
               of junk. You know you almost got us 
               killed!
 
               
                             HOYT
               Call Mabel Choate to the stand.

               
                             BAILIFF
               Call Mabel Choate.

               
                             CHILES
               Your Honor. I most strenuously and vigorously 
               object to this witness. She was not 
               present at the time of
 
               
               the incident. Her testimony is irrelevant, irrational, and inconsequential.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               Your Honor, the prosecution has gone 
               to great lengths and considerable cost 
               to find these character witnesses.It 
               is imperative that we establish this 
               is not merely an isolated incident. 
               It's part of a pattern of anti-social 
               behavior that's been going on for years.
 
               
               
                             VANDELAY
               Objection overruled. I'll hear the witness.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               Now, Mrs. Choate, would you please tell 
               the court what happen the evening of 
               January 4th.
 
               
                             CHOATE
               Well, I was in Snitzer's Bakery when 
               I got accosted by that man.
 
               
                             HOYT
               Let the record show that she is pointing 
               at Mr. Seinfeld.
 
               
                             HOYT
               What did he want?

               
                             CHOATE
               My marble rye.

               
                             HOYT
               Your marble rye?

               
                             CHOATE
               I got the last one. He kept persisting, 
               and I said no.
 
               
                             HOYT
               And then you left the bakery.

               
                             CHOATE
               That's right.

               
                             HOYT
               But it didn't end there, did it, Mrs. 
               Choate?
 
               
                             CHOATE
               Oh no.

               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Rye")

               
                             JERRY
               Gimme that rye.

               
                             CHOATE
               Stop it.

               
                             JERRY
               I want that rye lady.

               
                             CHOATE
               Help - someone help.

               
                             JERRY
               Shut up, you old bag!

               
               (Back to the present)

               
                             HOYT
               No further questions.

               
                             HOYT
               I call Marla Penny to the stand.

               
                             BAILIFF
               Call Marla Penny.

               
                             JERRY
               The virgin!

               
                             HOYT
               And what was your connection to the 
               defendants?
 
               
                             PENNY
               I dated Mr. Seinfeld for several weeks 
               in the autumn of 1992.
 
               
                             HOYT
               Then on the evening of October 28, there 
               was an abrupt end to that relationship. 
               Tell us what happened.
 
               
                             PENNY
               It's rather difficult to talk about.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               It's alright. Take your time.

               
                             PENNY
               Well, I became aware of a -

               
                             HOYT
               A what?

               
                             PENNY
               A, uh -

               
                             HOYT
               Yes?

               
                             PENNY
               A contest.

               
                             HOYT
               Contest?

               
                             PENNY
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               What was the nature of the contest?
 
               
               
                             PENNY
               Oh please, I can't.

               
                             HOYT
               It's okay.

               
                             PENNY
               The four of them made a wager to see 
               if they could -
 
               
                             HOYT
               Yes?

               
                             PENNY
               To see who could go the longest without 
               gratifying themselves.
 
               
                             PETERMAN
               For the love of God!

               
                             PENNY
               It was horrible, horrible!

               
                             HOYT
               Call Donald Sanger to the stand.

               
                             JERRY
               Who the hell is that?

               
                             MR. SANGER
               Come on Donald, you're doing fine.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               The Bubble Boy!

               
                             CHILES
               Bubble Boy?

               
                             JERRY
               That's right, the Bubble Boy.

               
                             CHILES
               What's a Bubble Boy?

               
                             JERRY
               He's a boy who lives in a bubble.

               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               What the hell are all you looking at?
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               So Donald, would you please tell the 
               court about the incident that occurred 
               in your house, October 7th, 1992.
 
               
               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               Well, Jerry Seinfeld was supposed to 
               come to my house, but his friend Costanza 
               showed up instead, so I challenged him 
               to a game of Trivial Pursuit.
 
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Bubble Boy")

               
                             GEORGE
               Who invaded Spain in the Eighth Century?
 
               
               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               That's a joke - the Moors.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh no - I'm so sorry, it's the Moops. 
               The correct answer is the Moops.
 
               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               Moops? Let me see that. That's not Moops, 
               you jerk. It's Moors. It's a misprint.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Sorry, the card says Moops.

               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               It doesn't matter. It's Moors - there's 
               no Moops.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               It's Moops.

               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               Moors!

               
                             GEORGE
               Moops!

               
                             GEORGE
               Help! Someone!

               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               There's no Moops, you idiot.

               
                             SUSAN
               Stop it! Let go of him!

               
                             MRS. SANGER
               Donald, stop it. No. Donald, stop it.
 
               
               
               (Back to the court)

               
                             GEORGE
               It was Moops.

               
                             BUBBLE BOY
               Moors.

               
                             
               the lady Kramer gave a defective wheelchair 
               to in "The Handicapped Spot")
 
               
                             HOYT
               So Mr. Costanza parked in a handicapped 
               spot, and as a result you got in an 
               accident, and your wheelchair was destroyed?
 
               
               
                             LADY
               That's right.

               
                             HOYT
               And then Mr. Kramer gave you a used 
               wheelchair?
 
               
                             LADY
               That's right.

               
               (Scene showing lady screaming going out of control down hill 
               in her wheelchair.)
 
               
                             
               Dr. Wilcox, the doctor on duty when 
               Susan died)
 
               
                             HOYT
               So you were the doctor on duty the night 
               Susan Ross died?
 
               
                             WILCOX
               Yes, that's right. It was May 16, 1996. 
               I'll never forget it.
 
               
                             HOYT
               So you broke the news to Mr. Costanza? 
               Could you tell the court, please, what 
               his reaction was?
 
               
                             WILCOX
               I would describe it as restrained jubilation.
 
               
               
                             MR. ROSS
               Murderer!

               
                             MRS. ROSS
               He killed our daughter! He knew those 
               envelopes were toxic!
 
               
                             VANDELAY
               Order in this court!

               
                             HOYT
               Call Sidra Holland to the stand.

               
                             CHILES
               Whew! Look at this one, she fine. You 
               dated her?
 
               
                             HOYT
               So you met Jerry Seinfeld in a health 
               club sometime in 1993?
 
               
                             SIDRA
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               And you also met Miss Benes in that 
               same health club?
 
               
                             SIDRA
               Yes, that's true.

               
                             HOYT
               Would you describe the circumstances 
               of that meeting.
 
               
                             SIDRA
               We were in the sauna, making chit-chat.
 
               
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Implant")

               
                             SIDRA
               You know, I've seen you around the club. 
               My name's Sidra. This is Marcie.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, hi, I'm Elaine.

               
               (Back in the courtroom)

               
                             HOYT
               So, she pretended to trip, and she fell 
               into your breasts?
 
               
                             SIDRA
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               Why would she do something like that?
 
               
               
                             SIDRA
               Because he sent her in there to find 
               out if they were real.
 
               
                             
               Joe Bookman, library cop)

               
                             HOYT
               State your name.

               
                             BOOKMAN
               Bookman, Joe Bookman.

               
                             HOYT
               And what's your occupation?

               
                             BOOKMAN
               I'm a library cop.

               
                             HOYT
               What does a library cop do?

               
                             BOOKMAN
               We chase down library delinquents.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               Anyone in this room ever delinquent?
 
               
               
                             BOOKMAN
               Yeah, he was. Right over there - Seinfeld.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               How long was his book overdue?

               
                             BOOKMAN
               25 years. We don't call them delinquent 
               after that long.
 
               
                             HOYT
               What do you call them?

               
                             BOOKMAN
               Criminals.

               
                             
               George's old girlfriend)

               
                             HOYT
               So you and Mr. Costanza were dating.
 
               
               
                             WOMAN
               Yes.

               
                             HOYT
               And then what happened?

               
                             WOMAN
               Well, I invited him to attend my son's 
               birthday party and -
 
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Fire")

               
                             GEORGE
               Fire! Get out of the way!

               
               (Back to the courtroom)

               
                             
               parking lot security guard)

               
                             GUARD
               At the time, I was employed as a security 
               guard in the parking lot at the Garden 
               Valley Shopping Mall.
 
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Parking Garage")

               
                             JERRY
               Why would I do it unless I was in mortal 
               danger? I know it's against the law.
 
               
               
                             GUARD
               I don't know.

               
                             JERRY
               Because I could get uromycitisis poisoning 
               and die - that's why.
 
               
               (Back to the courtroom)

               
                             HOYT
               Uromycitisis! I wonder if they're having 
               any trouble controlling themselves during 
               this trial? Perhaps these two
 
               
               hooligans would like to have a pee party right here in the courtroom!
 
               
               
                             CHILES
               Objection, Your Honor! This is completely 
               inappropriate! My clients' medical condition 
               is not on trial here!
 
               
               I refer you to the Disability Act of 1990.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Sit down, Mr. Chiles.

               
                             
               Police Detective)

               
                             HOYT
               Alright, Detective, then what happened?
 
               
               
                             DETECTIVE
               We got a tip that a lot of prostitutes 
               had been turning tricks in the parking 
               lot.
 
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Wig Master")

               
                             PRO
               You just cost me some money.

               
                             KRAMER
               Cool it, lady. Cool it. Cool it, lady. 
               Cool it.
 
               
                             POLICE
               Police officers - freeze right there!
 
               
               
               (Back to the courtroom)

               
                             HOYT
               So Cosmo Kramer was, in fact, a pimp.
 
               
               
                             
               the low-talker)

               
                             HOYT
               So you asked Mr. Seinfeld if he would 
               wear your puffy shirt on the Today Show?
 
               
               
               (Mumble)

               
                             HOYT
               Excuse me?

               
                             CHILES
               Uh, excuse me, Your Honor, but what 
               is the point of this testimony? This 
               woman's a low-talker. I can't hear
 
               
               
               a word she's saying. So either get some other kind of microphone 
               up there, or let's move on.
 
               
                             
               George Steinbrenner)

               
                             HOYT
               Call George Steinbrenner to the stand.
 
               
               
                             BAILIFF
               Call George Steinbrenner.

               
                             HOYT
               So George Costanza came to work for 
               you in May of 1994?
 
               
                             STEINBRENNER
               Yes, that's right, he was good kid - 
               a lovely boy. Shared his calzone with 
               me - that was a heck of a sandwich, 
               wasn't it, Georgie?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yes, sir, that was a good sandwich, 
               sir.
 
               
                             STEINBRENNER
               He had one little problem though.

               
                             HOYT
               What was that?

               
                             STEINBRENNER
               He was a communist. Thick as they come. 
               Like a big juicy steak.
 
               
                             FRANK
               How could you give twelve million dollars 
               to Hideki Irabu?!
 
               
                             VANDELEY
               Order!

               
                             
               Man from "The Little Jerry")

               
                             HOYT
               Cock fighting?

               
                             WITNESS
               Cock fighting.

               
                             
               Pharmacist from "The Sponge")

               
                             PHARMACIST
               Sponges. I don't mean the kind you clean 
               your tub with. They're for sex. Said 
               she needed a whole case of
 
               
               them.

               
                             
               Elaine's old boyfriend)

               
                             MAN
               She exposed her nipple.

               
                             
               Mr. Pitt from "The Diplomat's Club")
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               How did she try to kill you?

               
                             PITT
               She tried to smother me with a pillow.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               Call Yev Kassem to the stand.

               
                             BAILIFF
               Call Yev Kassem.

               
                             JERRY
               Who?

               
                             ELAINE
               The Soup Nazi!

               
                             CHILES
               Soup Nazi? You people have a little 
               pet name for everybody.
 
               
                             HOYT
               State your name.

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               Yev Kassem.

               
                             HOYT
               Could you spell that?

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               No! Next question.

               
                             HOYT
               How do you know the defendants?

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               They used to come to my restaurant.
 
               
               
               (Scene from past episode, "The Soup Nazi")

               
                             GEORGE
               Medium turkey chili.

               
                             JERRY
               Medium crab bisque.

               
                             GEORGE
               I didn't get any bread.

               
                             JERRY
               Just forget it. Let it go.

               
                             GEORGE
               Um, excuse me, I think you forgot my 
               bread.
 
               
                             SOUP NAZI
               You want bread?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yes, please.

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               Three dollars!

               
                             GEORGE
               What?

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               No soup for you!

               
               (Back in the courtroom)

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               But the idiot clowns did not know how 
               to order. I banned that one - the woman 
               - for a year. Then one day,
 
               
               she came back.

               
               (Back to the "Soup Nazi" episode)

               
                             ELAINE
               Five cups chopped porcini mushrooms. 
               Half a cup of olive oil. Three pounds 
               celery.
 
               
                             SOUP NAZI
               That's my recipe for wild mushroom.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. 
               No more soup for you. Next!
 
               
               (Back in the courtroom)

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               She published my recipes. I had to close 
               the store, move to Argentina. She ruined 
               my business!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Soup's not all that good anyway.

               
                             SOUP NAZI
               What did you say?!

               
                             HOYT
               The state calls Mr. Babu Bhatt to the 
               stand.
 
               
                             JERRY
               How did they find Babu?

               
                             ELAINE
               I thought he was deported.

               
                             HOYT
               You came a long way to be here today, 
               haven't you?
 
               
                             BABU
               Yes, all the way from Pakistan.

               
                             HOYT
               And what's your connection to the defendant?
 
               
               
                             BABU
               I owned a restaurant. Seinfeld told 
               me to change the menu to Pakistani. 
               But nobody came! There were no people.
 
               
               
                             HOYT
               And then what happened?

               
                             BABU
               Then, he got me an apartment in his 
               building. But they mixed up the mail. 
               And I never got my immigration renewal 
               papers. So they deported me. It's all 
               his fault. Him. And the woman. But they 
               did not care. They're totally indifferent. 
               All they do is mock me, just like they 
               did the fat fellow. All the time. Mocking, 
               mocking, mocking, mocking, mocking. 
               All the time! Now it is Babu's turn 
               to mock. Finally I will have some justice. 
               Send them away! Send them all away! 
               Lock them up forever! They are not human. 
               Very bad! Very, very, very bad!
 
               


               
               (Rivera Live)

               
                             RIVERA
               Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera and 
               welcome to this special edition of Rivera 
               Live. Well, arguments in the
 
               
               Good Samaritan trial ended today. The jury has been in deliberation 
               for four and a half hours now. Let's go live to
 
               
               Jane Wells who is in Latham, Massachusetts, covering this trial 
               for us. Jane -
 
               
                             WELLS
               Geraldo, just a few minutes ago, the 
               jury asked to see the video tape.
 
               
               
                             RIVERA
               That's the one where they are overheard 
               making sarcastic remarks during the 
               robbery.
 
               
                             WELLS
               Yes, it's a very incriminating piece 
               of evidence. But I must tell you, Geraldo, 
               this courtroom and everyone who has 
               attended this trial is still reeling 
               from the endless parade of witness who 
               have come forth so enthusiastically 
               to testify against these four seemingly 
               ordinary people. One even had the feeling 
               that if Judge Vandelay didn't finally 
               put a stop to it, it could've gone on 
               for months.
 
               
                             RIVERA
               Jane, whose testimony do you think resonated 
               most strongly with this jury?
 
               
                             WELLS
               That is so hard to say. Certainly there's 
               the doctor with the poison invitations. 
               The Bubble Boy was an extremely sympathetic 
               and tragic figure. And that bizarre 
               contest certainly didn't sit well with 
               this small town jury.There's the woman 
               they sold the defective wheelchair to, 
               the deported Pakistani restaurateur. 
               Geraldo, it just went on,
 
               
               and on, and on, into the night.

               
                             RIVERA
               And so we wait.

               
               (The group, waiting for the jury to decide)

               
                             JERRY
               Do they make you wear uniforms in prison?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               I think so.

               
                             JERRY
               It's not that bright orange one is it?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               I hope it's not that one, because I 
               cannot wear orange.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Will you stop worrying? Jackie's going 
               to get us off. He never loses. How about 
               when he asked that cop
 
               
               if a black man had ever been to his house. Did you see the look 
               on his face?
 
               
               (George's mother, Estelle, tries to butter up Judge Vandelay)
 
               
               
                             ESTELLE
               Sorry to bother you, Judge.

               
                             VANDELAY
               How did you get in here?

               
                             ESTELLE
               Please, if he's found guilty, please 
               be kind to him. He's a good boy.
 
               
                             VANDELAY
               This is highly irregular.

               
                             ESTELLE
               Well, maybe there's something I can 
               do for you.
 
               
                             VANDELAY
               What do you mean?

               
                             ESTELLE
               You know

               
               (Witnesses waiting in pool hall, at restaurant, etc. Mr. Ross 
               buys a gun.)
 
               
               (Sidra Holland and Jackie Chiles are in bed)

               
                             SIDRA
               Oh, Jackie, you're so articulate.

               
                             JACKIE
               We have plenty of time, too. This jury 
               could be out for days.
 
               
               (Phone rings)

               
                             JACKIE
               Hello? Damn. They're ready.

               
               (Back in the courtroom)

               
                             JERRY
               Hey Elaine, what was it you were about 
               to say to me on the plane when it was 
               going down?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I've always loved ... United Airlines.
 
               
               
               (Jury reenters the courtroom)

               
                             KRAMER
               I think it's going to be okay - that 
               girl just smiled at me.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Maybe because she knows you're going 
               to jail.
 
               
                             BAILIFF
               All rise.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have 
               you reached a verdict?
 
               
                             FOREMAN
               We have, Your Honor.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Will the defendants please rise. And 
               how do you find, with respect to the 
               charge of criminal indifference?
 
               
                             FOREMAN
               We find the defendants - guilty.

               
                             VANDELAY
               Order! Order in this court, I will clear 
               this room! I do not know how, or under 
               what circumstances the four of you found 
               each other, but your callous indifference 
               and utter disregard for everything that 
               is good and decent has rocked the very 
               foundation upon which our society is 
               built. I can think of nothing more fitting 
               than for the four of youto spend a year 
               removed from society so that you can 
               contemplate the manner in which you 
               have conducted yourselves.
 
               
               I know I will. This court is adjourned.

               
               (Exit Judge Vandelay)

               
                             GEORGE
               You had to hop! You had to hop on the 
               plane.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Puddy, don't wait for me.

               
                             PUDDY
               Alright.

               
                             FRANK
               We gotta get out of here. We want to 
               beat the traffic.
 
               
                             SIDRA
               Come on, Jackie. Let's go.

               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             CHILES
               Oh, and by the way, they're real, and 
               they're spectacular.
 
               
               (The group, walking back to the holding cell)

               
                             JERRY
               Well, it's only a year. That's not so 
               bad. We'll be out in a year, and then 
               we'll be back
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Could be fun. Don't have to worry about 
               your meals, or what you're going to 
               do Saturday night. And they do shows. 
               Yeah, we could put on a show - maybe 
               "Bye Bye Birdie" or "My Fair Lady". 
               Elaine, you could be Liza Doolittle.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Why don't you just blow it out your...
 
               
               
               (They enter the cell)

               
                             ELAINE
               If I call Jill from prison, do you think 
               that would make up for the other ones?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Sure.

               
                             ELAINE
               Cause you only get one call. The prison 
               call is like the king of calls.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I think that would be a very nice gesture.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               I got it - it's out! How about that, 
               huh? Oh, boy, what a relief.
 
               
                             JERRY
               See now, to me, that button is in the 
               worst possible spot.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Really?

               
                             JERRY
               Oh yeah. The second button is the key 
               button. It literally makes or breaks 
               the shirt. Look at it, it's
 
               
               too high, it's in no-man's land.

               
                             GEORGE
               Haven't we had this conversation before?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               You think?

               
                             GEORGE
               I think we have.

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, maybe we have.

            
               (Epilogue, on stage in the prison)

               
                             JERRY
               So what is the deal with the yard? I 
               mean when I was a kid my mother wanted 
               me to play in the yard. But of
 
               
               course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy 
               sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why 
               do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we 
               have to be sent to prison, in prison?
 
               
               You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So, 
               anyone from Cellblock D?
 
               
                             PRISONER 1
               I am.

               
                             JERRY
               I'll talk slower. I'm kidding - I love 
               Cellblock D. My friend George is in 
               Cellblock D. What are you in for,sir?
 
               
               
                             PRISONER 2
               Murder one.

               
                             JERRY
               Murder one? Oooooo, watch out everybody. 
               Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding 
               sir - lighten up. How about
 
               
               you, what are you in for?

               
                             PRISONER 3
               Grand theft auto.

               
                             JERRY
               Grand theft auto - don't steal any of 
               my jokes.
 
               
                             PRISONER 3
               You suck - I'm gonna cut you.

               
                             JERRY
               Hey, I don't come down to where you 
               work, and knock the license plate out 
               of your hand.
 
               
                             GUARD
               Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's 
               go. Come on.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Alright, hey, you've been great! See 
               you in the cafeteria.
 


               
                             THE END
                	

The Finale Part 2



Writers :   Larry David
Genres :   Comedy


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