THE FINALE PART 2
(The four are in prison, having a meal)
Mmmm, this is pretty good chow, huh?
Would it kill him to check up on us?
No - drops off the meals and that's
it. I realize we're prisoners, but we're
still entitled to catsup.
I guess we could've called for help.
But then we would have missed the whole
I still had it on video. We could have
watched it later.
Yeah, he's right.
I forgot about the video.
Sure - the video.
(Jerry's beeper starts beeping)
What is that?
(Rivera Live news show)
Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera. Tonight
we'll be talking about what most of
you have probably been
discussing in your homes, and around the water coolers in your
offices. I am speaking of course of the controversial Good Samaritan
trial that gets underway Thursday in Latham, Massachusetts. Now
before we meet our distinguished panel, let's go to Latham live,
where Jane Wells is standing by. Jane-
Yes. Good evening, Geraldo.
What's the mood? What's going on tonight?
Well, Latham is fairly quite tonight,
considering the media circus that has
descended upon this quaint little town.
And what about the defendants - the
so-called New York Four. How are they
Well, I did speak with one of the deputies
who had some contact with them, and
he told me quote "There's no love lost
with that group."
Anything else, Jane?
There also seems to be some friction
between Mr. Seinfeld, and Ms. Benes.
The rumor is that they once dated,
and it's possible that ended badly.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, who know,
maybe this trial will bring them closer
together. Maybe they'll even end up
(Jerry's parents are packing)
I hope you packed enough - this trial
could last for weeks.
What's all that?
You're packing cereal?
I'm bringing it for Jerry.
You got enough here for a life sentence.
He likes it. He says he misses that
more that anything.
So bring a snack-pack.
(George's parents are packing)
Poor Georgie, was it our fault this
happened to him? Did we do something
wrong? Maybe it was our fault.
Maybe it was your fault. It wasn't my
fault. I can tell you that.
Oh, so it was my fault, but not yours.
You were the one who smothered him.
I did not smother him.
You smothered! He couldn't get any air!
He couldn't breathe! He was suffocating!
Sure, and you were always in Korea with
your religious chachkis.
I had to make a living!
(Newman, laughing, leaves his building with a suitcase. Uncle
Leo leaves with his bags, followed by J. Peterman, David Puddy
in his 8-ball jacket, Mickey, Kenny Bania, Mr. and Mrs. Ross,
Mr. Bookman, Keith Hernandez, and George
(The four are at a table. Jerry and Kramer are enjoying some
cereal, while they wait for Jackie Chiles.)
This is excellent huh? Don't worry I
didn't use too much milk, cause I know
we gotta make it last.
You know I've had to reduce my milk
level. My whole life I've always filled
to at least three quarters - sometimes,
to the top of the cereal. Now, to conserve,
I can't even see the milk anymore. It's
a big adjustment.
It's one of the hardest things I've
ever had to do.
(Enter Jackie Chiles)
Good morning, Jackie.
Is everybody ready? Didn't I tell you
I wanted you to wear the cardigan?
It makes me look older.
Look older? Do you think this is a game?
Is that what you think this is? I'm
trying to give you amoral compass. You
have no moral compass. You're going
to walk into that courtroom, and the
jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil
George Costanza. I want them to see
Perry Como. No one's going to convict
Perry Como. Perry Como helps out a fat
tub who's getting robbed.
Do you think it's funny?
You damn right it isn't. You better
not be carrying on laughing in that
courtroom, funny man. Cause if you start
getting all smart-alecky, making wisecracks,
acting a fool, you gonna find yourself
in here for a long, long time. I don't
like that tie. Suzie, get one of my
ties from my briefcase.
How do I look, Jackie?
Oh, you looking good. You look strong.
You one fine-looking sexy lady.
Thank you, Jackie.
How bout me, Jackie?
Kramer, you always look good. You got
respect for yourself. You're genuine.
Jury's going to pick up on that.
(Jackie hands Jerry a tie)
Do I have to?
Jackie says put it on, Jerry.
(Court is starting)
All rise. Fourth District County Court,
Latham, Massachusetts is now in session.
The Honorable Judge
Arthur Vandelay presiding.
Vandelay? The judge's name is Vandelay?
Jerry, did you hear that?
I think that's a good sign.
Is the District Attorney ready to proceed?
We are, Your Honor.
Ladies and gentlemen, last year, our
City Council by a vote of twelve to
two, passed a Good Samaritan Law. Now,
essentially, we made it a crime to ignore
a fellow human being in trouble. Now
this group from New York not only ignored,
but, as we will prove, they actually
mocked the victim as he was being robbed
at gunpoint. I can guarantee you one
other thing, ladies and gentlemen, this
is not the first time they have behaved
in this manner. On the contrary, they
have quite a record of mocking and maligning.
This is a history of selfishness, self-absorption,
immaturity, and greed. And you will
see how everyone who has come into contact
with these four individuals has been
abused, wronged, deceived and betrayed.
This time, they have gone too far. This
time they are going to be held accountable.
This time, they are the ones who will
(Newman shown eating popcorn)
I am shocked and chagrined, mortified
and stupefied. This trial is outrageous!
It is a waste of the taxpayers' time
and money. It is a travesty of justice
that these four people have been incarcerated
while the real perpetrator is walking
around laughing - lying and laughing,
laughing and lying. You know what these
four people were? They were innocentbystanders.
Now, you just think about that term.
Innocent. Bystanders. Because that's
exactly what they were. We know theywere
bystanders, nobody's disputing that.
So how can a bystander be guilty? No
such thing. Have you ever heard of a
guilty bystander? No, because you cannot
be a bystander and be guilty. Bystanders
are by definition, innocent. That is
the nature of bystanding. But no, they
want to change nature here. They want
to create a whole new animal - the guilty
bystander. Don't you let them do it.
Only you can stop them.
Is the prosecution ready to present
its first witness?
We are, Your Honor. Call Officer Matt
Vogel to the stand.
Call Matt Vogel.
So they were just standing there?
Did one of them have a video camera?
Your Honor, with the court's permission,
we would like to play back that video
and enter it into evidence as Exhibit
(The tape plays)
Well, there goes the money for the lipo.
See, the great thing about robbing a
fat guy is it's an easy getaway. They
can't really chase ya!
He's actually doing him a favor. It's
less money for him to buy food.
the victim of the robbery)
So they just stood there and did nothing?
Yeah, nothing. Nothing!
No further questions.
(Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi)
Hey! Great plane! Thanks a lot. Piece
of junk. You know you almost got us
Call Mabel Choate to the stand.
Call Mabel Choate.
Your Honor. I most strenuously and vigorously
object to this witness. She was not
present at the time of
the incident. Her testimony is irrelevant, irrational, and inconsequential.
Your Honor, the prosecution has gone
to great lengths and considerable cost
to find these character witnesses.It
is imperative that we establish this
is not merely an isolated incident.
It's part of a pattern of anti-social
behavior that's been going on for years.
Objection overruled. I'll hear the witness.
Now, Mrs. Choate, would you please tell
the court what happen the evening of
Well, I was in Snitzer's Bakery when
I got accosted by that man.
Let the record show that she is pointing
at Mr. Seinfeld.
What did he want?
My marble rye.
Your marble rye?
I got the last one. He kept persisting,
and I said no.
And then you left the bakery.
But it didn't end there, did it, Mrs.
(Scene from past episode, "The Rye")
Gimme that rye.
I want that rye lady.
Help - someone help.
Shut up, you old bag!
(Back to the present)
No further questions.
I call Marla Penny to the stand.
Call Marla Penny.
And what was your connection to the
I dated Mr. Seinfeld for several weeks
in the autumn of 1992.
Then on the evening of October 28, there
was an abrupt end to that relationship.
Tell us what happened.
It's rather difficult to talk about.
It's alright. Take your time.
Well, I became aware of a -
A, uh -
What was the nature of the contest?
Oh please, I can't.
The four of them made a wager to see
if they could -
To see who could go the longest without
For the love of God!
It was horrible, horrible!
Call Donald Sanger to the stand.
Who the hell is that?
Come on Donald, you're doing fine.
The Bubble Boy!
That's right, the Bubble Boy.
What's a Bubble Boy?
He's a boy who lives in a bubble.
What the hell are all you looking at?
So Donald, would you please tell the
court about the incident that occurred
in your house, October 7th, 1992.
Well, Jerry Seinfeld was supposed to
come to my house, but his friend Costanza
showed up instead, so I challenged him
to a game of Trivial Pursuit.
(Scene from past episode, "The Bubble Boy")
Who invaded Spain in the Eighth Century?
That's a joke - the Moors.
Oh no - I'm so sorry, it's the Moops.
The correct answer is the Moops.
Moops? Let me see that. That's not Moops,
you jerk. It's Moors. It's a misprint.
Sorry, the card says Moops.
It doesn't matter. It's Moors - there's
There's no Moops, you idiot.
Stop it! Let go of him!
Donald, stop it. No. Donald, stop it.
(Back to the court)
It was Moops.
the lady Kramer gave a defective wheelchair
to in "The Handicapped Spot")
So Mr. Costanza parked in a handicapped
spot, and as a result you got in an
accident, and your wheelchair was destroyed?
And then Mr. Kramer gave you a used
(Scene showing lady screaming going out of control down hill
in her wheelchair.)
Dr. Wilcox, the doctor on duty when
So you were the doctor on duty the night
Susan Ross died?
Yes, that's right. It was May 16, 1996.
I'll never forget it.
So you broke the news to Mr. Costanza?
Could you tell the court, please, what
his reaction was?
I would describe it as restrained jubilation.
He killed our daughter! He knew those
envelopes were toxic!
Order in this court!
Call Sidra Holland to the stand.
Whew! Look at this one, she fine. You
So you met Jerry Seinfeld in a health
club sometime in 1993?
And you also met Miss Benes in that
same health club?
Yes, that's true.
Would you describe the circumstances
of that meeting.
We were in the sauna, making chit-chat.
(Scene from past episode, "The Implant")
You know, I've seen you around the club.
My name's Sidra. This is Marcie.
Oh, hi, I'm Elaine.
(Back in the courtroom)
So, she pretended to trip, and she fell
into your breasts?
Why would she do something like that?
Because he sent her in there to find
out if they were real.
Joe Bookman, library cop)
State your name.
Bookman, Joe Bookman.
And what's your occupation?
I'm a library cop.
What does a library cop do?
We chase down library delinquents.
Anyone in this room ever delinquent?
Yeah, he was. Right over there - Seinfeld.
How long was his book overdue?
25 years. We don't call them delinquent
after that long.
What do you call them?
George's old girlfriend)
So you and Mr. Costanza were dating.
And then what happened?
Well, I invited him to attend my son's
birthday party and -
(Scene from past episode, "The Fire")
Fire! Get out of the way!
(Back to the courtroom)
parking lot security guard)
At the time, I was employed as a security
guard in the parking lot at the Garden
Valley Shopping Mall.
(Scene from past episode, "The Parking Garage")
Why would I do it unless I was in mortal
danger? I know it's against the law.
I don't know.
Because I could get uromycitisis poisoning
and die - that's why.
(Back to the courtroom)
Uromycitisis! I wonder if they're having
any trouble controlling themselves during
this trial? Perhaps these two
hooligans would like to have a pee party right here in the courtroom!
Objection, Your Honor! This is completely
inappropriate! My clients' medical condition
is not on trial here!
I refer you to the Disability Act of 1990.
Sit down, Mr. Chiles.
Alright, Detective, then what happened?
We got a tip that a lot of prostitutes
had been turning tricks in the parking
(Scene from past episode, "The Wig Master")
You just cost me some money.
Cool it, lady. Cool it. Cool it, lady.
Police officers - freeze right there!
(Back to the courtroom)
So Cosmo Kramer was, in fact, a pimp.
So you asked Mr. Seinfeld if he would
wear your puffy shirt on the Today Show?
Uh, excuse me, Your Honor, but what
is the point of this testimony? This
woman's a low-talker. I can't hear
a word she's saying. So either get some other kind of microphone
up there, or let's move on.
Call George Steinbrenner to the stand.
Call George Steinbrenner.
So George Costanza came to work for
you in May of 1994?
Yes, that's right, he was good kid -
a lovely boy. Shared his calzone with
me - that was a heck of a sandwich,
wasn't it, Georgie?
Yes, sir, that was a good sandwich,
He had one little problem though.
What was that?
He was a communist. Thick as they come.
Like a big juicy steak.
How could you give twelve million dollars
to Hideki Irabu?!
Man from "The Little Jerry")
Pharmacist from "The Sponge")
Sponges. I don't mean the kind you clean
your tub with. They're for sex. Said
she needed a whole case of
Elaine's old boyfriend)
She exposed her nipple.
Mr. Pitt from "The Diplomat's Club")
How did she try to kill you?
She tried to smother me with a pillow.
Call Yev Kassem to the stand.
Call Yev Kassem.
The Soup Nazi!
Soup Nazi? You people have a little
pet name for everybody.
State your name.
Could you spell that?
No! Next question.
How do you know the defendants?
They used to come to my restaurant.
(Scene from past episode, "The Soup Nazi")
Medium turkey chili.
Medium crab bisque.
I didn't get any bread.
Just forget it. Let it go.
Um, excuse me, I think you forgot my
You want bread?
No soup for you!
(Back in the courtroom)
But the idiot clowns did not know how
to order. I banned that one - the woman
- for a year. Then one day,
she came back.
(Back to the "Soup Nazi" episode)
Five cups chopped porcini mushrooms.
Half a cup of olive oil. Three pounds
That's my recipe for wild mushroom.
You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up.
No more soup for you. Next!
(Back in the courtroom)
She published my recipes. I had to close
the store, move to Argentina. She ruined
Soup's not all that good anyway.
What did you say?!
The state calls Mr. Babu Bhatt to the
How did they find Babu?
I thought he was deported.
You came a long way to be here today,
Yes, all the way from Pakistan.
And what's your connection to the defendant?
I owned a restaurant. Seinfeld told
me to change the menu to Pakistani.
But nobody came! There were no people.
And then what happened?
Then, he got me an apartment in his
building. But they mixed up the mail.
And I never got my immigration renewal
papers. So they deported me. It's all
his fault. Him. And the woman. But they
did not care. They're totally indifferent.
All they do is mock me, just like they
did the fat fellow. All the time. Mocking,
mocking, mocking, mocking, mocking.
All the time! Now it is Babu's turn
to mock. Finally I will have some justice.
Send them away! Send them all away!
Lock them up forever! They are not human.
Very bad! Very, very, very bad!
Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera and
welcome to this special edition of Rivera
Live. Well, arguments in the
Good Samaritan trial ended today. The jury has been in deliberation
for four and a half hours now. Let's go live to
Jane Wells who is in Latham, Massachusetts, covering this trial
for us. Jane -
Geraldo, just a few minutes ago, the
jury asked to see the video tape.
That's the one where they are overheard
making sarcastic remarks during the
Yes, it's a very incriminating piece
of evidence. But I must tell you, Geraldo,
this courtroom and everyone who has
attended this trial is still reeling
from the endless parade of witness who
have come forth so enthusiastically
to testify against these four seemingly
ordinary people. One even had the feeling
that if Judge Vandelay didn't finally
put a stop to it, it could've gone on
Jane, whose testimony do you think resonated
most strongly with this jury?
That is so hard to say. Certainly there's
the doctor with the poison invitations.
The Bubble Boy was an extremely sympathetic
and tragic figure. And that bizarre
contest certainly didn't sit well with
this small town jury.There's the woman
they sold the defective wheelchair to,
the deported Pakistani restaurateur.
Geraldo, it just went on,
and on, and on, into the night.
And so we wait.
(The group, waiting for the jury to decide)
Do they make you wear uniforms in prison?
I think so.
It's not that bright orange one is it?
I hope it's not that one, because I
cannot wear orange.
Will you stop worrying? Jackie's going
to get us off. He never loses. How about
when he asked that cop
if a black man had ever been to his house. Did you see the look
on his face?
(George's mother, Estelle, tries to butter up Judge Vandelay)
Sorry to bother you, Judge.
How did you get in here?
Please, if he's found guilty, please
be kind to him. He's a good boy.
This is highly irregular.
Well, maybe there's something I can
do for you.
What do you mean?
(Witnesses waiting in pool hall, at restaurant, etc. Mr. Ross
buys a gun.)
(Sidra Holland and Jackie Chiles are in bed)
Oh, Jackie, you're so articulate.
We have plenty of time, too. This jury
could be out for days.
Hello? Damn. They're ready.
(Back in the courtroom)
Hey Elaine, what was it you were about
to say to me on the plane when it was
I've always loved ... United Airlines.
(Jury reenters the courtroom)
I think it's going to be okay - that
girl just smiled at me.
Maybe because she knows you're going
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have
you reached a verdict?
We have, Your Honor.
Will the defendants please rise. And
how do you find, with respect to the
charge of criminal indifference?
We find the defendants - guilty.
Order! Order in this court, I will clear
this room! I do not know how, or under
what circumstances the four of you found
each other, but your callous indifference
and utter disregard for everything that
is good and decent has rocked the very
foundation upon which our society is
built. I can think of nothing more fitting
than for the four of youto spend a year
removed from society so that you can
contemplate the manner in which you
have conducted yourselves.
I know I will. This court is adjourned.
(Exit Judge Vandelay)
You had to hop! You had to hop on the
Puddy, don't wait for me.
We gotta get out of here. We want to
beat the traffic.
Come on, Jackie. Let's go.
Oh, and by the way, they're real, and
(The group, walking back to the holding cell)
Well, it's only a year. That's not so
bad. We'll be out in a year, and then
we'll be back
Could be fun. Don't have to worry about
your meals, or what you're going to
do Saturday night. And they do shows.
Yeah, we could put on a show - maybe
"Bye Bye Birdie" or "My Fair Lady".
Elaine, you could be Liza Doolittle.
Why don't you just blow it out your...
(They enter the cell)
If I call Jill from prison, do you think
that would make up for the other ones?
Cause you only get one call. The prison
call is like the king of calls.
I think that would be a very nice gesture.
I got it - it's out! How about that,
huh? Oh, boy, what a relief.
See now, to me, that button is in the
worst possible spot.
Oh yeah. The second button is the key
button. It literally makes or breaks
the shirt. Look at it, it's
too high, it's in no-man's land.
Haven't we had this conversation before?
I think we have.
Yeah, maybe we have.
(Epilogue, on stage in the prison)
So what is the deal with the yard? I
mean when I was a kid my mother wanted
me to play in the yard. But of
course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy
sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why
do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we
have to be sent to prison, in prison?
You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So,
anyone from Cellblock D?
I'll talk slower. I'm kidding - I love
Cellblock D. My friend George is in
Cellblock D. What are you in for,sir?
Murder one? Oooooo, watch out everybody.
Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding
sir - lighten up. How about
you, what are you in for?
Grand theft auto.
Grand theft auto - don't steal any of
You suck - I'm gonna cut you.
Hey, I don't come down to where you
work, and knock the license plate out
of your hand.
Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's
go. Come on.
Alright, hey, you've been great! See
you in the cafeteria.
The Finale Part 2
Writers : Larry David
Genres : Comedy