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Movie Chat



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                             THE JIMMY



                             Written by

                      Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin




 
               
               
               (The New York Health Club. Jerry, Kramer and George are getting 
               dressed)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               That guy was amazing, he could dunk 
               and he was my height...What
 
               
               was his name again?

               
                             JERRY
               Jimmy

               
                             GEORGE
               Jimmy, right.

               
                             JERRY
               I dunno how you could forget . He kept 
               reffering to himself in the
 
               
               third person.

               
               Jimmy's under the boards. Jimmy's in the open. Jimmy makes the 
               shot.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Ah! your just mad 'cause we beat ya.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry it's my fault .I couldn't make 
               a shot. These losses they stay
 
               
               with me. They (?) Jerry.

               
               Now this is gonna plague me.( Puts on aftershave and cries out)
 
               
               
               OH! Mother!!!

               
               Jimmy walks in

               
                             GEORGE
               HEY! JIMMY!!! ha ha ha........Great 
               game.
 
               
                             JIMMY
               OH yeah.......Jimmy played pretty good.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey you know, I felt we had like a synergy 
               out there, you know, like we were really 
               helping each other.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               What d'you got there?

               
                             JIMMY
               These?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah

               
                             JIMMY
               These are Jimmy's training shoes.

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, yeah yeah yeah! I've seen these.....they 
               sorta ..they make your legs..stronger.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               Oh yeah! Jimmy couldn't jump at all 
               before he got these. Jimmy was like 
               you (looks at G.)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               They're Plyometric.

               
                             GEORGE
               Plyometric?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah! They isolate the muscles. The 
               muscle has to grow....or die.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (to Jimmy) Wh...Where d'you get'em?
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy sells'em.

               
                             GEORGE
               You sell them?

               
                             JIMMY
               Oh yeah! But Jimmy's all out right now. 
               Moving to Manhattan set Jimmy back a 
               bit.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey listen, let me give you my card. 
               It's got my home number on it. I want 
               to buy the first pair when the next 
               shipment comes in.
 
               
                             JIMMY
               All right

               
                             GEORGE
               All right Jimmy Good talking to ya.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy'll see you around.

               
               Jimmy leaves.

               
                             GEORGE
               What day is today?....Aw. ..Tuesday! 
               Damn it. I shouldn't have worked out 
               today. Mr Wilhem has called a big meeting 
               and now I'm gonna be sweating through 
               the whole thing.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Why. You took a shower?

               
                             GEORGE
               Aahhrgh...it wouldn't take. Ten minutes 
               from now, I'll be sweating all over 
               again, I can feel it. I'm a human heat 
               pump!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               You should take cold showers.

               
                             GEORGE
               Cold showers? They're for psychotics.
 
               
               
               Kramer Well I take 'em........They give me a Whooooosh.

               
                             GEORGE
               All right, I'll see you guys later.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Aw right.

               
                             KRAMER
               So, you're heading home?

               
                             JERRY
               No...Got dental appointment.

               
                             KRAMER
               Ah! what.. Tim Whatley?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah!

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh yeah.! I got a check up on Thursday.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Oh! How d'you like that?

               
                             KRAMER
               You know.. You really shouldn't brush 
               24 hours before seeing the
 
               
               dentist.

               
                             JERRY
               I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh no, you got to eat before surgery, 
               you need your strength.
 
               
               Kramer leaves. Jerry is speechless.

               
                             SCENE TWO
               Meeting at Yankee Stadium.

               
                             WILHEM
               I called this meeting because we......have........a 
               problem. For
 
               
               the last few months someone has been stealing equipment from 
               the
 
               
               club. Until recently it's been little things, y'know; bases,
 
               
               
               batting helmets, donuts, but two nights ago they pulled the big 
               one. 
 
               
               
               
               The camera goes back and forth from Wilhem to George who keeps 
               pulling on
 
               
               his collar he's sweating.

               
                             WILHEM
               They took a pitching machine, a batting 
               cage ,the in-field tarp and
 
               
               all of Mr Steinbrenner's vitamins.. Now , we have reasons to
 
               
               
               believe it's an inside job.

               
                             GEORGE
               (still puffing)Whoa!!

               
                             WILHEM
               If anybody here knows anything about 
               it I recommend strongly
 
               
               that...you come forward.

               
               Wilhem looks at George who's sweating so much it seems he's hiding
 
               
               
               something.

               
               Scene cuts to Tim Whatley's dental office.

               
                             RECEPTIONIST
               Dr Whatley's running a little late. 
               If you'd like to take a
 
               
               seat, I'll call you when he's ready.

               
                             JERRY
               All right.

               
               Jerry sits down and browses through the magazine on the table 
               and
 
               
               discovers Tim has Penthouse magazines for patients to read.
 
               
               
               Scene then switches to Jerry's apartment. Elaine is on the phone.
 
               
               
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh! Okay. Right. Thanks Mr Pitt....'kay. 
               ..goodbye.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               (to Jerry) Hey ! You want to go see 
               The Velvet Fog.
 
               
                             JERRY
               The Velvet fog?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah! Mel Tormé, That's his nickname.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What the hell his a velvet fog.

               
                             ELAINE
               Do you wanna go or not?

               
                             JERRY
               Well , where is it?.

               
                             ELAINE
               He's performing at this AMCA benefit.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               AMCA?

               
                             ELAINE
               Able Mentally Challenged Adults

               
                             JERRY
               Naaaaaa...I can't watch a man sing a 
               song.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               What are you..crazy?

               
                             JERRY
               They get all emotional , they sway. 
               It's embarrassing.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Well, what am I gonna do for a date.?...Oh! 
               do you know that
 
               
               ..hemmm! blond guy who's always at the exercycle at the health
 
               
               
               club.?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't think so.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah yeah! He's really handsome with 
               those...
 
               
                             JERRY
               (interrupting) Elaine , I really don't...............pay 
               much
 
               
               attention to men`s faces.

               
                             ELAINE
               You can't find beauty in a man?

               
                             JERRY
               No... I find them repugnant and unappealing.
 
               
               
               Kramer bursts in

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey!

               
                             JERRY
               (pointing Kramer) To wit

               
                             KRAMER
               What?

               
                             JERRY
               No ,Elaine and I we're just discussing 
               whether I could admit a man
 
               
               is attractive.

               
                             KRAMER
               Hmm! Oh! Yeah. I'll tell you who is 
               an attractive man; Gorge Will.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Really!

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah! He has clean looks, scrubbed and 
               shampooed and....
 
               
                             ELAINE
               He's smart....

               
                             KRAMER
               No, no I don't find him all that bright.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               So you got any cavities?

               
                             JERRY
               Just one....gotta go back.....Oh but 
               get this. Elaine, you will
 
               
               appreciate this. I'm sitting in Tim Whatley's waiting room...He's
 
               
               
               got a Penthouse right out on the table.

               
                             ELAINE
               Penthouse?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah!!! What is that? I mean isn't that 
               sick. I mean , I'd be
 
               
               embarrassed to have that in my apartment.

               
                             KRAMER
               So what's wrong with that?

               
                             JERRY
               (outraged) He's a doctor!.I mean it's 
               supposed to be like a sterile
 
               
               environment.

               
                             KRAMER
               So... Did you take a look?

               
                             JERRY
               Of course.... But that's got nothing 
               to do with it.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well I'll tell you I'm looking forward 
               to my appointment on
 
               
               Thursday. I might even get there a few minutes early.

               
               George comes in. Kramer walks out.

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey! Hey! listen ... Do one of you guys 
               know that ..that blond guy
 
               
               who's always on the exercycle at the health club. You know he's
 
               
               
               just really handsome?..

               
                             GEORGE
               (head down low) I...I wouldn't know
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               You know that just admitting a man is 
               handsome doesn't necessarily
 
               
               make you a homosexual.

               
                             GEORGE
               It doesn't help

               
                             ELAINE
               All right, I'm gone

               
                             GEORGE
               I'll see you.

               
                             GEORGE
               (to Jerry) You know those shoes that 
               Jimmy had? I cut a deal with
 
               
               him. We're gonna import a case of them together.

               
                             JERRY
               What are you doing that for, you got 
               a job
 
               
                             GEORGE
               There's a lot of money in this.. He's 
               got a proven sales method
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah! What's that.

               
                             GEORGE
               He jumps!

               
                             JERRY
               Jimmy's got a record. Jimmy's jumping 
               for dollars. Jimmt and George
 
               
               are gonna get rich.

               
                             GEORGE
               Will you stop with the Jimmies

               
               Kramer takes something out of the fridge

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey! What's this?

               
                             JERRY
               Kom Pau(sp?

               
               Kramer tastes the chicken but realizes too late how hot and spicy 
               it his
 
               
                             KRAMER
               (gasp_)......Kom Pau........

               
               Elaine at the health club trying to attract the handsome blond 
               guy's attention.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               (We hear what she thinks) Look at me....Look 
               at Mee!. Come on. I'm
 
               
               stretching right in front of you. Heeeey!! ...a smile. Aah! we 
               made
 
               
               contact, all right one more stretch and then go talk to him.
 
               
               
               
               
               Hank leaves as she's ready to make her move. Elaine turns to 
               try to find
 
               
               out where he could be and stops when she takes notice of Jimmy.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               You know...Jimmy is pretty sweet on 
               you.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Aaaaaahhh! He is?!

               
                             JIMMY
               Oh yeah!. Jimmy's been watching you....you're 
               just Jimmy's type.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               AAaaaaahhh! Really?(giggles)

               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy hem ..doesn't 
               really know anyone.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh! well I'd like, like to get to know 
               him.
 
               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy would like to get to know you.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Ha....

               
               Scene cuts to Tim Whatley's office. Kramer is in the chair.
 
               
               
                             WHATLEY
               Hey! Kramer

               
                             KRAMER
               Boy , you're looking sharp there Tim.
 
               
               
                             WHATLEY
               Yeah Well....I do what I can. How've 
               you been.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Euh.. Fine , good , yeah! Just been 
               occupying myself with some of
 
               
               your....hem reading material.

               
                             WHATLEY
               So what'ill it be? Novocaine?

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh yes, yes indeed.

               
                             WHATLEY
               Why don't we just clear a path first.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               yeah, yeah, lets do that.

               
                             WHATLEY
               You remember Mr. Thirsty.

               
                             KRAMER
               All right euhhm.....

               
               Whatley puts the suction device in Kramer's mouth and loud suctions 
               sounds
 
               
               are heard.

               
               Scene then cuts back to the health club where Kramer is trying 
               the
 
               
               vertical lift shoes.

               
                             JERRY
               Ahh! You too with these?

               
                             KRAMER
               (still under the effects of the Novocaine 
               slurrs his words heavily)
 
               
               Yeah H'amon board.

               
                             JERRY
               So what did Tim say?

               
                             KRAMER
               Wellhum....He th'aid I gotta cut out 
               the SsssfKittles.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Looks like he gave you some Novocaine
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Ohhh H'am loaded.

               
                             JERRY
               So what about the Penthouse. Did you 
               ask him?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well he said that humm.. you know.that 
               it helps his pathients relax
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Adults only?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah!!!

               
                             JERRY
               What the hell's going on over there?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Well you know its.. great. You know, 
               no kids ..allowed. you don't
 
               
               have to watch your language.

               
                             JERRY
               You find you need to use a lot of obscenities 
               at the dentist.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               He..he... When they pull that needle 
               out I let the expletives fly.
 
               
               Kramer reaches for a glass of water and drinks but manages to 
               have it
 
               
               spill out on to the floor

               
                             JERRY
               Hey! Hey! Watch it.!... You're drooling 
               all over the floor. How
 
               
               much Novocaine did that guy give you.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well.. Aye can't hold the water.

               
               Jimmy comes in dribbling.

               
                             JIMMY
               Oh yeah!! ... Jimmy's ready.

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey Jimmy

               
                             GEORGE
               Ha..harrr.

               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy's got some new moves.

               
                             KRAMER
               Go Jimmy

               
                             JIMMY
               'Check Jimmy out

               
               Jimmy slips on Kramer's puddle and falls on his back

               
                             JIMMY
               Ooohhh!!!!! JIMMY'S DOWN.

               
               Scene cuts then comes back with paramedics and Jimmy on a stretcher.
 
               
               
               Paramedic (missing a few words) ......was gonna be in traction.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy might have a compound fracture.. 
               Jimmy's going into shock!!
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (angrily)WHY WEREN'T YOU MORE CAREFUL 
               WITH YOUR DROOL!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               HEY I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!!

               
                             JERRY
               Why are you taking this so personally?
 
               
               
               George BECAUSE IF HE CAN'T JUMP. THERE GOES MY SNEAKER BUSINESS!!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               (cries out) WELL I SAID I'M SORRY.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               ( as he gets taken out) JIM....JIMMY 
               WONT FORGET YOU KRAMER...
 
               
               JIMMY HOLDS GRUDGES. LET JIMMY GO......

               
                             KRAMER
               BUT I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING.

               
               Kramer is seen running down the street with his vertical lift 
               shoes. He's
 
               
               trying to hail a cab.

               
                             KRAMER
               HEY TAXI!!!.....TAXI!!

               
               An elderly gentleman is after the same taxi.

               
                             KRAMER
               Go ahead, go ahead you got it......(to 
               the driver) He's got it.
 
               
               The man is looking him up and down, noticing the shoes and the 
               slurred
 
               
               speech.

               
               Deensfrei (slowly) Oh! Please, go ahead take it

               
                             KRAMER
               No,No...You were here first.

               
               Deensfrei No. No I..I insist. I'll grab the next one.

               
                             KRAMER
               Lets share.. we share....Awight

               
               Deensfrei Yes ! Splendid. That's a great idea.

               
               Kramer bumps his head as he gets into the cab

               
                             DEANSFREI
               My name is Arnold Deensfrei. What is 
               your name?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Eh!! Cosmo Kramer. Nice to meet you
 
               
               
               Deensfrei Very nice to meet you Cosmo. Are you heading home?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               (like rainman)Yeah! heading home.

               
               Deensfrei Good for you.....You are really independant.

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeaheum ... You're not doing too bad 
               yourself
 
               
               In a sporting goods store, George tries to make a sale. He is 
               putting on
 
               
               the shoes.

               
                             GEORGE
               Argh!!..Anyway...Jimmy couldn't be here 
               today so he asked me to
 
               
               fill in for him, and I'm sure that you'll be impressed at what 
               can
 
               
               be accomplished after only a few short days of training.....yeah!
 
               
               
               
               
               George tries three times to jump but barely lifts a couple of 
               inches off the
 
               
               ground. The store personnel gets uninterested quickly and leave.
 
               
               
               Scene cuts to Jerry's apartment.

               
                             KRAMER
               (whose voice has returned to normal)THE 
               VELVET FOG!!!!
 
               
                             JERRY
               What about the Velvet Fog ?

               
                             ELAINE
               (as she comes in) What about the Velvet 
               Fog?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well...He's singing at a benefit and 
               I'm gonna be sitting at his table.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               I'm going to that!

               
                             KRAMER
               I'm a guest of honor.

               
                             ELAINE
               What are you talking about?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well this afternoon I shared a cab with 
               this...a hum..Deensfrei.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah, yeah! Arnold Deensfrei, he runs 
               the AMCA 
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah! well ..that's the guy .He's organizing 
               the dinner.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I know that but why are you going?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Well, because we hit it off and he was 
               very impressed with what I do.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               What you do!!. You don't do anything.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Well apparently I do something 'cause 
               I'm sitting at the head table with Mr. 
               Mel Tormé
 
               
               Kramer sits on the couch and puts his feet up on the coffee table.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               (pointing at the shoes) What are those?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Ehmm ..These are my vertical leap training 
               shoes.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Wait a second ..Where you wearing those 
               shoes in the cab?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah! yeah! right after I left the Y.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Don't you see what's happened, he couldn't 
               talk , he's wearing
 
               
               these shoes, he's drooling.

               
               Kramer. What!!!

               
                             ELAINE
               He thinks you're mentally challenged.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Well...........you know.....

               
                             ELAINE
               Well ,what happens when you show up 
               . He'll see that you're not.?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Not necessarily because.....

               
               Scene cuts back to Tim Whatley's dental office. Jerry is sitting 
               in the
 
               
               chair.

               
                             WHATLEY
               Sheryl, would you ready the Nitro(???) 
               please?
 
               
               Whatley inhales the gas mask before handing it over to Jerry.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Oh! where's Jennifer today?

               
                             WHATLEY
               OH!! She's over at Dr.Cessman's office. 
               We find it fun to swap now
 
               
               and then.

               
               Cuts to Yankee Stadium. George is sitting at his desk eating 
               Kam Pau
 
               
               chicken.

               
                             GEORGE
               Whhhoooo!!!!(taps on his desk loudly)
 
               
               
               Phone rings.

               
                             GEORGE
               Arrrrrrgh!! .. It's George.. Oh! Sports 
               wholesaler. yeah. yeah. ..
 
               
               thanks for calling back. No , no , no still got the shoes, still
 
               
               
               got the shoes. Lots of them. This is.. beautiful athletic gear.
 
               
               
               
               
               Wilhelm enters the office as George is talking on the phone. 
               He seems
 
               
               suspicious.

               
                             GEORGE
               .....Well. I'm sorry. Call you right 
               back.
 
               
                             WILHELM
               So George. Have you heard anything about 
               the missing equipment?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               No!...not...nothing.

               
                             WILHELM
               George, there's nothing I hate more 
               than a liar.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well...there's no room for someone like 
               that in this organization.
 
               
                             WILHELM
               Are you feeling all right George?

               
                             GEORGE
               Hemmm!.. Fine!

               
                             WILHELM
               You look a little warm.

               
                             GEORGE
               ...It's the chicken

               
                             WILHELM
               You're a terrible liar George. Look 
               at you, you're a wreck!.
 
               
               you're sweating bullets.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's the Kom Pau ... George likes his 
               chicken spicy.
 
               
               Back in Tim Whatleys office..Jerry wakes up , his vision blurred. 
               He sees
 
               
               Whatley and Sheryl getting dressed.

               
               Scene cuts to Monks. Jerry and Elaine are talking.

               
                             ELAINE
               ....Maybe you were still under the gas.Maybe 
               you were hallucinating
 
               
               you're coming out of the gas but you were still under the gas.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I don't think so. I think they were 
               getting dressed and not only
 
               
               that; my shirt was out!!!

               
                             ELAINE
               your shirt was out?

               
                             JERRY
               I think so.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, what kind of shirt was it.?

               
                             JERRY
               You know! Like a tennis shirt.

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh! Well ... You don't tuck those in?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Sometimes I tuck'em sometimes I don't
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Well. Were you tucked?

               
                             JERRY
               I think I was tucked.!

               
                             ELAINE
               All right then say you were. I mean 
               .. what do you think could have
 
               
               happened.?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know but I was spitting out 
               and rinsing like there was no
 
               
               tomorrow.

               
                             ELAINE
               Ughhhh

               
                             JERRY
               Is this guy a dentist or Caligula?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               What are you gettin'?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't think I'm hungry:

               
                             ELAINE
               Okay...So you were violated by two people 
               while you were under the
 
               
               gas. So What? You're single.

               
                             JERRY
               But I'm damaged goods now.

               
                             ELAINE
               Join the club.

               
                             JERRY
               Hey, by the way, did you ever call that 
               guy from the health club.?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh yeah! Jimmy.

               
                             JERRY
               Jimmy?

               
                             ELAINE
               Ahum!

               
                             JERRY
               That's the guy?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah!

               
                             JERRY
               Can't believe your going out with him...
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Why?

               
                             JERRY
               I dunno. He's so strange.'

               
                             ELAINE
               How so?

               
                             JERRY
               Did you notice he always refer to himself 
               in the third person.
 
               
               Jimmy can dunk. Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy we'll see you later.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               No No... That's not him. That's the 
               guy who gave me... Jimmy's
 
               
               number.

               
                             JERRY
               That's Jimmy. That's the way he talks.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               I'm going to go see Mel Tormé with him?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine..
 
               
               
               George comes in and sits down with them..

               
                             GEORGE
               I have to go see Steinbrenner later. 
               Mr Wilhelm told him that I
 
               
               was the one responsable for stealing all the merchandise.

               
                             JERRY
               Why?

               
                             GEORGE
               'Cause when he questioned me about it 
               I was sweating from the Kom
 
               
               Pau..

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know how you can eat that spicy 
               chicken,
 
               
                             GEORGE
               George likes spicy chicken.

               
                             JERRY
               What's that?

               
                             GEORGE
               ....I like spicy chicken

               
                             JERRY
               No no you said George likes spicy chicken.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               No I didn't

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes you did you said George likes spicy 
               chicken..
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're turning in to Jimmy.

               
                             GEORGE
               George is getting upset..

               
               Back at the health club Elaine meets Jimmy who is wearing crutches.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               So what do you want to see Jimmy about?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Well.... (pointing at him) Jimmy!

               
                             JIMMY
               Huh uh...

               
                             ELAINE
               About tonight hum.. there's been a little 
               misunderstanding.
 
               
                             JIMMY
               Ah! ... Jimmy doesn't like misunderstanding.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah. What happened was....

               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy and misunderstanding kinda clash.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               (suddenly intrigued) You know, I've 
               never heard anyone talk the way
 
               
               you do. It's very unusual.

               
                             JIMMY
               Well, Jimmy's very unusual.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well anyway hum.... see when I made 
               the date, I thought that
 
               
               Jimmy......

               
                             JIMMY
               Hey look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. 
               Jimmy's not threatened by
 
               
               Hanks sexuality ... Jimmy's happy for Hank.

               
                             ELAINE
               Elaine once tried to convert one but 
               Elaine's not going through
 
               
               that again.

               
               Scene cuts to The Marriot for the benefit.

               
                             KRAMER
               I'm going to try and find some candy. 
               You want some?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah!

               
                             KRAMER
               What kind?

               
                             ELAINE
               I don't care:

               
               Jimmy walks in

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey Jimmy!!

               
                             JIMMY
               I Elaine.

               
                             ELAINE
               Elaine got a new dress.

               
                             JIMMY 
               Jimmy likes it.

               
                             KRAMER
               There's no candy around here. hey! Jimmy.
 
               
               
                             JIMMY
               Well look who's here.

               
                             KRAMER
               Whooo!

               
                             JIMMY
               That's the guy who sidelined Jimmy.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               What!

               
                             JIMMY
               That's the guy who took the bread out 
               of Jimmy's mouth. Jimmy's out
 
               
               of work because of you..

               
               Jimmy punches Kramer in the mouth.

               
                             JIMMY
               Jimmy wants a piece of Kramer..(fighting 
               ensues and Jimmy gets
 
               
               taken out by hotel security)

               
                             JIMMY
               JIMMY'S GONNA GET YOU KRAMER!!. HANDS 
               OFF JIMMY!!. DON'T TOUCH
 
               
               JIMMY!! LET GO OF JIMMY!!!

               
                             KRAMER
               (Keamer's voice starts slurring again) 
               Yeah! My lips swollen?
 
               
               Kramer sitting at the head table.

               
                             KRAMER
               No No I've been living alone a long 
               time now.
 
               
                             MEL
               Well I think that's the tops.

               
               We cut back to Yankee stadium in George Steinbrenners office.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               (knocks) You hem... wanted to see me 
               Mr. Steinbrenner?
 
               
                             STEIN
               Yes George, come in ,come in.

               
               You know George I've been your biggest supporter around here
 
               
               
               and thats why I was so disappointed to hear that you been pilfering
 
               
               
               the equipment.

               
                             GEORGE
               George would never do anything like 
               that.
 
               
                             STEIN
               'No why would I. I own it.

               
                             GEORGE
               Right!

               
                             STEIN
               So what are you saying?

               
                             GEORGE
               Why would George steal from the Yankees?
 
               
               
                             STEIN
               'He wouldn't.

               
                             GEORGE
               'course not

               
                             STEIN
               Exactly..................(mumbles) I 
               don't what the hell's going on here.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Sir?

               
                             STEIN
               Nothing.

               
                             GEORGE
               (energetically) Well seems it's about 
               time for George's lunch.
 
               
                             STEIN
               Yes it is. Well lets see what I have 
               today. Darn it It's ham &
 
               
               Cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like
 
               
               
               that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe 
               and
 
               
               it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake
 
               
               
               though. Hey look at this . you know I got a new system for eating
 
               
               
               these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them
 
               
               
               upside down , I eat the cake first and save the frosting for 
               the
 
               
               end. (George stops listening and It's almost like its own

               
               dessert.............

               
               Scene fades and we go back to the AMCA benefit.

               
                             MEL
               Ladies and gentlemen....I want to dedicate 
               this song to a very
 
               
               courageous young man.

               
               (starts singing)

               
               When you're smiling, When you're smiling...

               
               The whole world smiles with you...

               
               When you're laughin', When you're laughin'

               
               The sun comes shining through

               
               But when you're crying, You bring on the rain

               
               So stop that sign. Be happy again

               
               Keep on smiling , 'cause when you're smiling

               
               The whole world smiles with yooooouuuuuuu

               
               The whole world smiles with (with Kramer)yooooouuuuuuu..

               
               On the street Jerry and Kramer.

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey! Got the new Penthouse

               
                             JERRY
               Where's my Mr. Goodbar?

               
                             KRAMER
               Ah! here here Listen...Dear Penthouse, 
               I want to tell you about an experience 
               I recently had. As an avid reader I've 
               always wondered if the letters (with 
               Jerry) are I'm a dentist and one afternoon 
               my hygienist and I decided to have a 
               little fun with one of our patients. 
               Of course none of our patients had any 
               idea exactly of what we were up to. 
               I was still wondering what if ......... 
               (Jerry stops and seems bewildered)
 
               
               
               
               
               
                            THE END



The Jimmy



Writers :   Gregg Kavet  Andy Robin
Genres :   Comedy


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