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Movie Chat



ALL SCRIPTS





                             THE MANGO



                             Written by

                   Buck Dancer & Lawrence H. Levy




 
               
               
               (nightclub)

               
                             JERRY
               A female orgasm is kinda like the bat 
               cave. A very few people know where it 
               is and if you're lucky enough to see 
               it you probably don't know how you got 
               there and you can't find you way back 
               after you left.
 
               
               
               (Monk's)

               
                             JERRY
               So, what's her name?

               
                             GEORGE
               Karin.

               
                             JERRY
               Is she nice?

               
                             GEORGE
               Great.

               
                             JERRY
               So you like her?

               
                             GEORGE
               I think so.

               
                             JERRY
               You don't know?

               
                             GEORGE
               I can't tell anymore.

               
                             JERRY
               Well do you feel anything?

               
                             GEORGE
               Feel? What's that?

               
                             JERRY
               All right, let me ask you this: when 
               she comes over, you're cleaning up a 
               lot?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               You're just straightening up or you're 
               cleaning?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Cleaning

               
                             JERRY
               You do the tub?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               On your knees, Ajax, scrubbing, the 
               whole deal?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               Okay, I think you're in love!

               
                             GEORGE
               Tub is love?

               
                             JERRY
               Tub is love. So there you are. You've 
               got a nice girl and a clean apartment.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Yep. There's one little problem.

               
                             JERRY
               Sexual?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeeeaaah. Well..... I've never really 
               feld confident in..... one particular 
               aspect.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Below the equator?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               Nobody does. You know, nobody knows 
               what to do. You just close your eyes 
               and you hope for the best. I really 
               think they're happy if you just make 
               an effort.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I don't know. Last time I got the tap.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               You got the tap?

               
                             GEORGE
               You know, you're going along, you think 
               everything's all right and all of a 
               sudden you get that tap. (George taps 
               his own shoulder). You know it's like 
               pfffff (whistling sound), all right 
               that's enough, you're through.
 
               
                             JERRY
               The tap is tough.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's like the manager coming out and 
               asking you for the ball.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well maybe she just wanted to move on 
               to other business.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               No, no, this wasn't moving on. I got 
               the hook. I wish I could get a lesson 
               in that.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's a very complicated area.

               
                             GEORGE
               You can go crazy trying to figure that 
               place out.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's a haaazy mystery.

               
                             GEORGE
               Anyway, I think everything else is okay. 
               Unless of course she's faking.
 
               
               (Elaine joins them)

               
                             ELAINE
               Who's faking?

               
                             GEORGE
               Nothing.

               
                             ELAINE
               Faking what?

               
                             GEORGE
               Nobody's faking.

               
                             ELAINE
               Ah! Orgasm?

               
                             GEORGE
               She's not faking!

               
                             ELAINE
               How do you know?

               
                             GEORGE
               I know. I can tell. It's one of my powers. 
               Why, did you ever fake?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Of course.

               
                             JERRY
               Really?

               
                             GEORGE
               You faked?

               
                             ELAINE
               On occasion.

               
                             JERRY
               And the guy never knows?

               
                             ELAINE
               No.

               
                             JERRY
               How can he not know that?

               
                             ELAINE
               Because I was gooood.

               
                             JERRY
               I guess after that many beers he's probably 
               a little groggy anyway.
 
               
               (Jerry and George laugh)

               
                             ELAINE
               You didn't know.

               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             ELAINE
               You didn't know.

               
                             JERRY
               Are you saying...

               
               (George calls a waitress)

               
                             GEORGE
               I think I'll have a piece of cake.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               With me?

               
                             ELAINE
               Well...

               
                             JERRY
               You faked with me?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               You faked with me?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               No.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               You faked it?

               
                             ELAINE
               I faked it.

               
                             JERRY
               That whole thing, the whole production, 
               it was all an act?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Not bad huh?

               
                             JERRY
               What about the breathing, the panting, 
               the moaning, the screaming?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Fake, fake, fake, fake.

               
                             JERRY
               I'm stunned, I'm shocked! How many times 
               did you do this?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Uuuhm, all the time.

               
                             JERRY
               All the time?!

               
                             GEORGE
               We got a chocolate malt in here!

               
                             JERRY
               But I'm so good.

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm sure you are.

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, listen, it wasn't you. I just 
               didn't have 'em back then.
 
               
                             JERRY
               She faked.

               
               (George smiles sarcastically)

               
                             JERRY
               Maybe they've all been faking.

               
                             ELAINE
               I'm sure they're not.

               
                             GEORGE
               Maybe Karin is faking.

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
               (Kramer is lighting his cigar on the stove)

               
                             KRAMER
               She was probably joking.

               
                             JERRY
               No no, it was no joke.

               
                             KRAMER
               She didn't have any?

               
                             JERRY
               No. None.

               
                             KRAMER
               She faked 'em all.

               
                             JERRY
               Faked 'em all.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well so she faked 'em, so what?

               
                             JERRY
               The woman had an orgasm under false 
               pretences. That's sexual perjury.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               You know I heard her screaming from 
               my apartment? She woke me up a few times.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               How did she do it? She's like Meryl 
               Streep this woman. And I had to work 
               the equipment. I'm not unskilled, I'm 
               in the union. If she'd at least told 
               me, maybe I could have done something 
               about it.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah I could have helped you out.

               
                             JERRY
               What could you have done?

               
                             KRAMER
               I could have given you some pointers. 
               I know how to press those buttons body.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I'm feeling very inadequate about the 
               whole thing.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Aaaaah.

               
                             JERRY
               Don't aaaaah! I'm supposed to do something 
               with her later? I don't even think I 
               wanna see her.
 
               
               (The phone rings)

               
                             KRAMER
               Giddy-up.

               
               (Jerry picks it up)

               
                             JERRY
               Hello... Oh hello Elaine.

               
                             ELAINE
               So we're having dinner tonight?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know, I'm not really in the 
               mood.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Why? What's wrong? You're not still 
               thinking about this afternoon are you?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What, the grilled cheese? Naaah, they 
               always burn the toast.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Nooo, the other thing.

               
                             JERRY
               Oooh that. Well...

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh come on, Jerry. Making to much of 
               a big deal about it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah I guess. So you wanna meet at that 
               place at seven thirty?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Okay.

               
                             JERRY
               All right.

               
                             ELAINE
               All right, see you later.

               
                             JERRY
               Bye.

               
                             ELAINE
               Bye.

               
               (Elaine's office)

               
               (Rene walks passed the office)

               
                             ELAINE
               Rene, can you come here a second? Let 
               me ask you something: have you ever... 
               you know... faked it?
 
               
                             RENE
               Yeah, sometimes.

               
                             ELAINE
               Really, like when?

               
                             RENE
               Like if we went to a Broadway show, 
               if we had really good seats.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah, well...

               
                             RENE
               Well you know, if it's enough all ready 
               and I just wanna get some sleep.
 
               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               I really don't feel like seeing her.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               You know, I faked it.

               
                             JERRY
               What?!

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               You faked it? Why would you do that?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Well you know, if it's enough already 
               and I just wanna get some sleep.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, but why would you...

               
               (Kramer spits out his peach)

               
                             JERRY
               Bad peach?

               
                             KRAMER
               It's terrible!

               
                             JERRY
               Did you get that at Joe's?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, of course I got it at Joe's.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               That's surprising, his fruit is usually 
               the best.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna 
               return this.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're returning used fruit?

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry this peach is sub par.

               
               (Joe's)

               
                             JOE
               So what do you want me to do?

               
                             KRAMER
               I want restitution.

               
                             JOE
               Restitution? You want restitution? Why 
               should I give you restitution?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Because it's no good.

               
                             JOE
               When you put that fruit out, that's 
               where it ends for me.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               It's still your fruit, you gotta stand 
               behind your fruit.
 
               
                             JOE
               I stand behind my fruit.

               
                             KRAMER
               So...

               
                             JOE
               Hey, you got a bad peach? That's an 
               act of God. He makes the peaches. I 
               don't make the peaches, I sell the peaches. 
               You have a problem? You talk to him.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               You know this whole place is going vrrrrrrrrrrrrt, 
               downhill. I could have come in here 
               last week with a bad plum but I let 
               it go.
 
               
                             JOE
               Well let me put a solution for you: 
               do your business elsewhere, I don't 
               want your business.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh now you don't want my business.
 
               
               
                             JOE
               No, I don't want your business and from 
               this moment you're banned from the store, 
               you're banned!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               But what am I gonna do for fruit?

               
               (restaurant)

               
               (Karin starts moaning and lights a cigarette after finishing 
               dinner)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               You seem like you really enjoyed your 
               Risotto. You have a very contented air 
               over there. You look very contented, 
               very satisfied. Are you satisfied?
 
               
               
                             KARIN
               I'm very satisfied.

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm sure if you weren't satisfied you 
               would probably say something wouldn't 
               you?
 
               
                             KARIN
               I probably would. But then again I'm 
               an enigma.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey listen... instead of the movie... 
               maybe we'll go back and... you know...
 
               
               
                             KARIN
               Maybe.

               
                             GEORGE
               So... you feel okay about that whole 
               thing... what we do in there... generally 
               okay with everything in there?
 
               
                             KARIN
               Generally.

               
                             GEORGE
               Do you feel the way you feel after the 
               Risotto?
 
               
                             KARIN
               No, I feel full after the Risotto.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah... full.

               
               ((another) restaurant)

               
               (Elaine starts moaning after finishing dinner)

               
                             JERRY
               Satisfied?

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey, you know what? You wanna go see 
               that new Meryl Streep movie?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Meryl Streep?

               
                             ELAINE
               You don't like her?

               
                             JERRY
               Ah, she's okay.

               
                             ELAINE
               I love her Jerry, she's so authentic. 
               I really believe everything is actually 
               happening to her. There's no acting 
               there.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah. You don't want coffee or anything 
               do you?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I really admire actors, you know. It's 
               just such an incredible skill.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, yeah, can we get off of this?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               What's the matter?

               
                             JERRY
               Nothing.

               
                             ELAINE
               You're not still thinking about that 
               are you?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Nooo.

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh good.

               
                             JERRY
               Give me another shot!

               
                             ELAINE
               What?

               
                             JERRY
               Another shot, I want another shot.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               You mean...?

               
                             JERRY
               Yes!

               
                             ELAINE
               Oooh no, I don't think so.

               
                             JERRY
               Come on! One shot, I can do it, I know 
               I can do it!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, we're friends! We can't do that, 
               it would ruin our friendship.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh friendship... friendship, shmanship 
               .
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry no, that's important to me.

               
                             JERRY
               We won't ruin the friendship.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes we will!

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine...

               
                             ELAINE
               No Jerry, it is out of the question. 
               You know what sex does to a friendship, 
               it kills it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               A half hour, give me a half our.

               
                             ELAINE
               No!

               
                             JERRY
               Okay, fifteen minutes. I guarantee you 
               fifteen minutes, I can make it happen!
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               No!

               
                             JERRY
               You're worried I'll be able to do it 
               aren't you?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               What, no, it doesn't matter. Jerry, 
               I don't care.
 
               
                             JERRY
               That's it, that's it. You like having 
               this over me, you don't want me to do 
               it.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               That is so ridiculous.

               
                             JERRY
               Come on, Elaine!

               
                             ELAINE
               No.

               
                             JERRY
               Elaine?!

               
                             ELAINE
               No!

               
               (Karin's bedroom)

               
               (George indicates that the sex went wrong)

               
                             GEORGE
               It's Jerry's fault.

               
                             KARIN
               Jerry?

               
                             GEORGE
               Jerry and Elaine. They made me nuts.
 
               
               
                             KARIN
               Oh I don't care, George, really it's 
               all right.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               So you feel okay?

               
                             KARIN
               Well, it's not like after the Risotto.
 
               
               
               (Jerry's car)

               
                             JERRY
               Well good night.

               
                             ELAINE
               I still don't understand why we had 
               to walk out on that movie.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh that Meryl Streep, she's such a phony 
               baloney.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Goodnight. Thanks for a really fabulous 
               evening (sarcastic).
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh what, you're upset?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes I'm upset, can't you tell?

               
                             JERRY
               No I can't, maybe you're faking.

               
                             ELAINE
               I'm really, really sorry I told you 
               that.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm sorry too.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well stop being such a baby.

               
                             JERRY
               You're a baby!

               
                             ELAINE
               You're a baby!

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             GEORGE
               It's all your fault! You and Elaine! 
               All that orgasm talk. She did have an 
               orgasm, she didn't have an orgasm. Orgasm 
               this, orgasm that. I got so focused 
               on it. I started to panic and boom, 
               I lost it. I tried everything, I was 
               talking to him: 'Please wake up, do 
               something.'
 
               
                             JERRY
               They're mysterious little fellows aren't 
               they?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I hate 'em!

               
                             JERRY
               You know it happens to everybody. It 
               happened to Houdini. And he could get 
               out of a trunk under water with his 
               hands in chains! But he had a problem 
               with that. The miracle is that it ever 
               happens.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               It's like a magic trick. Sometimes I 
               think it would be easier to bend a spoon 
               mentally than to make that transformation.
 
               
               
               (Kramer enters the apartment)

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey listen, if I give you money would 
               you go out and get me some fruit?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Why can't you get it?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well I got banned from the store I can't 
               go back in there now.
 
               
                             JERRY
               What happened?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well you know, we had a fight over the 
               peach and... well Joe doesn't want my 
               business.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, was that a joke about Houdini?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               No. (And to Kramer:) I told you not 
               to say anything.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry, what am I gonna do for fruit?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Well you'll have to go to the supermarket.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               The supermarket? That's impossible! 
               They don't have a decent piece of fruit 
               at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, 
               the oranges are dry. I don't know what's 
               going on with the Papayas! Jerry you 
               gotta go to Joe's, you gotta get me 
               some fruit!
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh so what I'm going to buy all your 
               fruit now?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well if Houdini couldn't do it, what 
               chance do I have?
 
               
               (George leaves the apartment)

               
               (The phone rings, Jerry picks it up)

               
                             JERRY
               Hello... Oh hi Patty, thanks for calling 
               me back. I just wanted to ask you a 
               question: when we we're going out did 
               you have orgasms?... Okay, thanks... 
               No that's it... Okay, bye.
 
               
               (Jerry hangs up the phone)

               
                             JERRY
               Patty Lawrence had 'em!

               
                             KRAMER
               Okay, I'm gonna make you a fruit list, 
               all right?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah.

               
               (Jerry makes another call)

               
                             JERRY
               Hello Elaine? Patty Lorens had orgasms 
               what do you think about that? And I 
               got calls in to six other women and 
               I bet you they confirm an orgasm too. 
               So what do you have to say now Elaine?... 
               Hello?
 
               
               (outside Joe's)

               
                             JERRY
               Why do I feel like I'm doing something 
               wrong?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               All right now here's the list.

               
                             JERRY
               All this? It's too much. What do you 
               need five mangos for?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I like mangos.

               
                             JERRY
               Avocado? I don't know how to pick out 
               an avocado.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well they gotta be soft.

               
                             JERRY
               How soft?

               
                             KRAMER
               Not too soft. Better too hard than too 
               soft.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm not going through this every week, 
               I tell you that right now. And what 
               are these? Plums? What is that?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah now get the ones that are red on 
               the inside.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well how do I know what they look like 
               on the inside? What do they look like 
               on the outside?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh! And get some plantains.

               
                             JERRY
               Plantains?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah.

               
                             JERRY
               What the hell is a plantain.

               
                             KRAMER
               It's part of the banana family. It's 
               a delicacy.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're not getting any plantains.

               
               (Jerry enters Joe's)

               
                             JERRY
               Hey Joe.

               
                             JOE
               How is it going?

               
                             JERRY
               Good, just getting some fruit for myself. 
               Gotta have fruit in the house. I like 
               it as a snack. Wholesome, natural, chock-full 
               of vitamins. I don't know let's see... 
               mangos... four plums with red on the 
               inside... avocado... ooo, just right... 
               and three plantains ought to do it.
 
               
               
                             JOE
               All right, all right, just hold it right 
               there.
 
               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             JOE
               This fruit isn't for you.

               
                             JERRY
               What, what are you talking about?

               
                             JOE
               You think I don't know? Mangos, plantains, 
               plums with the red on the inside, that's 
               Kramer!
 
               
                             JERRY
               I can't buy mangos and plantains?

               
                             JOE
               All right, get out!

               
                             JERRY
               You're making a big mistake, Joe!

               
                             JOE
               I'll tell you something else: I don't 
               what your business anymore either.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               You're saying you're banning me from 
               the store?
 
               
                             JOE
               That's exactly what I'm saying.

               
                             JERRY
               I'm banned?!

               
                             JOE
               You're banned.

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             GEORGE
               All right, where do you want it?

               
                             JERRY
               Put it over there.

               
                             KRAMER
               Yes! Oh look at this, these mangos are 
               beautiful! Oh these are beautiful, you 
               did good George.
 
               
               (Kramer leaves the apartment)

               
                             GEORGE
               All right I gotta get going.

               
                             JERRY
               What are you doing?

               
                             GEORGE
               I got a date with Karin. I don't know 
               what I'm gonna do. Nothing happening 
               down there.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're thinking about it too much. You're 
               putting too much emphasis on it.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I knew this was gonna happen some day. 
               It was inevitable. I've known it ever 
               since I was a little kid. I've been 
               waiting for it.
 
               
               (Kramer enters the apartment)

               
                             KRAMER
               This mango is delicious!

               
                             GEORGE
               That reminds me, I'm not getting you 
               guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing 
               me the whole time. He gave me the creeps. 
               All right, you owe me twenty-eight sixty.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Sorry, I don't have any cash.

               
                             KRAMER
               I only got hundreds.

               
                             GEORGE
               All right I knew it.

               
                             KRAMER
               Come on, come on, we're gonna pay you! 
               Here have some mango.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I don't want any mango.

               
                             KRAMER
               Come on, take some. It's good.

               
               (George tries a piece)

               
                             GEORGE
               Very good. Juicy. Ripe. This Joe's got 
               some terrific fruit.
 
               
               (George looks a little weird)

               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             GEORGE
               I feel like I got a B12 shot. This is 
               like a taste explosion!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I told you.

               
               (George stands still)

               
                             JERRY
               What is it?

               
                             GEORGE
               I think it moved. Oh my god, I think 
               it moved. Yeah, give me the big piece. 
               I'll see you later.
 
               
               (Elaine enters the apartment)

               
                             ELAINE
               Hi George.

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm back, baby, I'm back!

               
               (George leaves the apartment)

               
                             KRAMER
               Want some mango?

               
                             ELAINE
               No, thanks.

               
               (Kramer leaves the apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               Well well, if it isn't the first lady 
               of the American Theatre. What brings 
               you here?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Just gonna return some of your things 
               that were in my house.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh and I've got some things of yours 
               here.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I know.

               
                             JERRY
               Well I'll get them.

               
                             ELAINE
               I'm waiting.

               
                             JERRY
               All right. You got my fins?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah I got your fins. You got my poker 
               chips?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I got your poker chips. You got my goggles?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               They're next to the fins. You got my 
               cards?
 
               
                             JERRY
               They're next to the poker chips.

               
               (They switch bags)

               
                             ELAINE
               All right and that just about... does 
               it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I guess.

               
                             ELAINE
               Okay, well... see you around.

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, see you.

               
               (Elaine opens the door and then closes it again)

               
                             ELAINE
               All right, let's go, I give you half 
               an hour.
 
               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             ELAINE
               Come on!

               
                             JERRY
               Are you serious?

               
                             ELAINE
               Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to 
               save the friendship.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Sex... to save the friendship. Well, 
               if we have to...
 
               
               (Karin's bedroom)

               
                             KARIN
               Oh George, oooh.

               
                             GEORGE
               Please, it's not necessary.

               
                             KARIN
               What do you mean it's not necessary?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               The little extra moan you threw in there. 
               Laying it on a bit thick, don't you 
               think?
 
               
                             KARIN
               What are you talking about?

               
                             GEORGE
               What am I talking about? Come on. You 
               don't think I bought all that?
 
               
                             KARIN
               What, what?

               
                             GEORGE
               You're very good. Very good with the 
               moanings and the gyrations. You really 
               had me going there for a minute.
 
               
                             KARIN
               You think I was faking?

               
                             GEORGE
               Come on: 'Oh George, oh Geeeooorge!' 
               Come on! Not that I don't appreciate 
               the effort that was put into it.
 
               
                             KARIN
               I'd like you to leave.

               
                             GEORGE
               What?

               
                             KARIN
               I said, I would like you to leave. Come 
               on, just get your clothes on and get 
               out.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               But why?

               
                             KARIN
               Because I said so.

               
                             GEORGE
               I can't find my glasses.

               
                             KARIN
               Well hurry up.

               
                             GEORGE
               I need to look for my glasses.

               
                             KARIN
               Get out! Get out!! Get out!!!

               
               (Jerry's bedroom)

               
               (Elaine is reading a magazine and Jerry is making desperate noises)
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               It's all George's fault. All that talk 
               about impotence. He got to me. And that 
               orgasm stuff: orgasm this and orgasm 
               that. It's a lot of pressure!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               You know I'm a little hungry. You wouldn't 
               happen to have any of that mango left?
 
               
               
               (Jerry looks like he's got an idea)

               
               
                            THE END



The Mango



Writers :   Buck Dancer  Lawrence H. Levy
Genres :   Comedy


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