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Movie Chat



ALL SCRIPTS





                      THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW



                           Written by

                        Bruce Eric Kaplan




 
               
               
               (Jerry and Kramer in an alley)

               
                             JERRY
               Why were you making gravel?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well ... I like the sound it makes when 
               you walk on it.
 
               
               Hey, those look familiar.

               
                             JERRY
               Of course. It's garbage.

               
                             KRAMER
               No, no, no, no. These brown things. 
               The chairs. Jerry, this is the set from 
               the old Merv Griffin
 
               
               Show! They must be throwing it out. This stuff belongs in the 
               Smithsonian!
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, at least in the dumpster behind 
               the Smithsonian.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Look at this. Boy, one minute Elliot 
               Gold is sitting on you and the next 
               thing -
 
               
               you're yesterday's trash.

               
                             JERRY
               Come on, Kramer, get out of there.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               No, no, no. You go on ahead. I'm not 
               finished taking this in.
 
               
               Oh, Jerry look ... Merv Griffin's cigar.

               
                             JERRY
               (moans)

               
               
               
               (In George's car)

               
                             GEORGE
               You know I uh, spilled a yohgurt smoothie 
               in here two days ago. Can't smell anything, 
               can
 
               
               y'a?

               
                             MIRANDA
               Banana?

               
                             GEORGE
               Right.

               
                             MIRANDA
               George watch out for those pigeons.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Oh they'll get out of the way. You really 
               smell banana?
 
               
               (George hits the pigeons.)

               
                             MIRANDA
               Oh my God. Oh.

               
                             GEORGE
               So uh where are we eating?

               
               
               
               (Celia's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               And it was his idea to put a sprig of 
               parsley on the plate.
 
               
                             CELIA
               You're making this up. There was never 
               a Joseph Garnish.
 
               
               
               
               
               
                             JERRY
               Wow!

               
                             CELIA
               Oh yeah the toys.

               
                             JERRY
               Where did you get all these?

               
                             CELIA
               My dad was a collector. I inherited 
               them after he died from a long and painful 
               bout ...
 
               
                             JERRY
               Super bowl! Hey, an original G. I. Joe. 
               With a full frogman suit.
 
               
                             CELIA
               Jerry, what are you doing?

               
                             JERRY
               I'm putting this on him and we're going 
               to the sink.
 
               
                             CELIA
               No Jerry. They're priceless. They've 
               never been played with.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I just want to touch them a little.
 
               
               
                             CELIA
               I said no. Now come here.

               
               
               
               (Peterman's)

               
               
               
               
               
                             LOU
               Hi I'm Lou Filerman. I'm new here.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Hey Walter what is the deal with that 
               guy?
 
               
                             WALTER
               Oh he's Lou Filerman. He's new here. 
               Hey your coffee stain looks like Fidel 
               Castro.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               You've been an enormous help.

               
               (Monk's)

               
                             JERRY
               You ran over some pigeons? How many?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               What ever they had. Miranda thinks I'm 
               a butcher but it's not my fault is it? 
               Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Of course. We have a deal. They get 
               out of the way of our cars, we look 
               the other way on the statue defecation.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Right! And these pigeons broke the deal. 
               I will not accept the blame for this.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So Maranda's cooled on y'a?

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm getting nothing.

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, me neither.

               
                             GEORGE
               Really? I thought you and Celia were 
               sleeping together?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, the sex is wild but she's got this 
               incredible toy collection and she won't 
               let me near it!
 
               
               (Elaine enters)

               
                             GEORGE
               I don't understand women.

               
                             JERRY
               Here comes one.

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey. What's going on?

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey (sees coffee marks) Art Garfunkle?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               No, Castro.

               
                             GEORGE
               Right.

               
                             ELAINE
               All because of this creepy new guy at 
               work. He just - he just comes out of 
               nowhere and he's right
 
               
               next to you!

               
                             JERRY
               So he just sidles up?

               
                             ELAINE
               That's right! He's a real sidler.

               
                             JERRY
               Maybe you didn't see him.

               
                             ELAINE
               You never see him. He sidled me again 
               in my office. I was sitting there making 
               a cup of soup
 
               
               singing that song from "The Lion King".

               
                             JERRY
               Hakuna Matata?

               
                             ELAINE
               I thought I was alone.

               
                             JERRY
               That doesn't make it right.

               
               
               
               (Outside Jerry's apartment door)

               
                             JERRY
               See, to me, the Hakuna Matata is not 
               nearly as embarrassing as the cup of 
               soup ...
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Would you just let it go?

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey, Jerry! Come in here a sec! Hey!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Oh my God!

               
                             KRAMER
               It's the Merv Griffin set

               
                             JERRY
               How did you get this in here?

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, you just bring it in sideways and 
               hook it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               So where are you gonna sleep?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah ... backstage.

               
                             ELAINE
               Phew! This chair smells like garbage.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, well a lot of the stars from the 
               70's - they were not as hygienic as 
               they appeared on TV
 
               
               yeah, you can take Mannix for example.

               
               (phone rings)

               
                             JERRY
               I'm gonna get that.

               
                             KRAMER
               All right. Well, Jerry, we'd love to 
               have you back anytime( Jerry exits) 
               Well, Elaine Benes!
 
               
               Well, it's great to have you! (Elaine suts down) Why, is it possible 
               that you are even more
 
               
               beautiful than the last time I saw you?

               
                             ELAINE
               (giggles)

               
               ( Central Park)

               
               (George runs at pigeons. They don't move for him)

               
                             GEORGE
               We had a deal!

               
               
               
               ( Peterman's Office)

               
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Mr. Peterman, here are these pages that 
               you wanted.
 
               
                             PETERMAN
               One moment. I'm reading the most fascinating 
               article on the most fascinating people 
               of the
 
               
               year. Annnnnd done. Oh, yes. I'm sorry I needed this so quickly. 
               It must have been an
 
               
               awful lot of work. Thank you very much, you two.

               
                             ELAINE
               What?

               
               (Lou Filerman is standing behind her)

               
               
               
               ( Kramer's Apartment)

               
               
               
                             JERRY
               So three dates and she still won't let 
               me play with her toys.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               That's interesting. You know someone 
               mentioned to me you were not very happy 
               with your toys growing up.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, that was me.

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, that's right, right, right. And 
               uh you mentioned that uh, you didn't 
               get a G.I. Joe. You had.
 
               
                             JERRY
               An Army Pete.

               
                             KRAMER
               Right.

               
                             JERRY
               He was made of wood and in the rain 
               he would swell up and then split.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               And we all know how painful that can 
               be.
 
               
               (Elaine enters)

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, Elaine Benes. Well, this is quite 
               a thrill, yes. Come on sit down. Yes.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Well, I'll tell ya, this sidler guy 
               is really chapping my hide.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Excuse me yeah. We're talking ... this 
               way.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Well, he's getting credit for work I 
               did! He's gonna sidle me right out of 
               a job.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Now, for those of us who don't know, 
               uh, sidling is what?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Kramer, what is wrong with you?

               
                             KRAMER
               What do you mean?

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, for starters, you're looking at 
               note cards (to Jerry) I'm gonna have 
               to give that guy a taste
 
               
               of his own medicine, so, I'm going to sidle the sidler.

               
                             JERRY
               You, sidle? You ... you stomp around 
               like a Clydesdale!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Not with these honeys. ... Wrestling 
               shoes!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Only in New York. ... ha ha

               
                             GEORGE
               Jerry?

               
               (George enters)

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh! Well, ladies and gentlemen! It's 
               our good friend, George Costanza! What 
               a surprise!
 
               
               Yeah, sit, sit, sit.. Weeell!

               
                             GEORGE
               Well, it happened again.

               
                             JERRY
               What happened?

               
                             KRAMER
               tut tut , I'll ask the questions. What 
               happened?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well, I just stomped some pigeons in 
               the park. They - they didn't move.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               All right, let's change the subject. 
               Now, uh you and Jerry dated for a while. 
               Tell us ... what
 
               
               was that like? That was the wrong card.

               
                             GEORGE
               I I don't get these birds! They're breaking 
               the deal. It's like the pigeons decided 
               to ignore me!
 
               
                             JERRY
               So they're like everyone else.

               
               
               
               
               
                             KRAMER
               (laughs too loudly) All right, let's 
               take a short break. .... Okay! We're 
               back!
 
               
               (George's Car)

               
                             GEORGE
               Boy that bank clock is eight minutes 
               off.
 
               
                             MIRANDA
               Then why don't you just run IT over 
               too?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Zing.

               
                             MIRANDA
               George, what are you doing?

               
                             GEORGE
               Did you see that? That-that pigeon didn't 
               move! I had to swerve to get out of 
               the way! I saved
 
               
               that pigeons life!

               
                             MIRANDA
               What pigeon? You drove right onto that 
               squirrel. (leaves the car)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Squirrel? Well, we have no deal with 
               THEM!
 
               
               ( Celia's Apartment)

               
               (Jerry tries to play with the toys)

               
                             CELIA
               Jerry! Those hands! They never stop!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I'm sorry. You got any booze? Let's 
               say you and I get ripped!
 
               
                             CELIA
               No thanks. I have a headache. Can you 
               just get me an aspirin?
 
               
                             JERRY
               All right. (Jerry checking in the medicine 
               cabinet for bottles that say "cause 
               drowsiness")
 
               
               ( Peterman's office)

               
                             LOU
               Here's the new copy you wanted.

               
                             PETERMAN
               Ah, yes. Well this certainly looks like 
               a lot of words. In record time. I'm 
               very impressed ...
 
               
               with both of you.

               
                             ELAINE
               (quietly standing behind Lou) Thank 
               you. ha ha
 
               
                             PETERMAN
               Unfortunately, I am also disgusted. 
               This is incoherent dribble! This is 
               a total redo and I'm
 
               
               assuming I need it right away.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, I guess we'll just (Lou has left) 
               Hey, just gimme that.
 
               
               ( Celia's apartment)

               
                             JERRY
               (playing with the toys while Celia is 
               sleeping) Mission accomplished! Back 
               to base, Joe.
 
               
               (Veterinarian's office)

               
                             MIRANDA
               Doctor, is the squirrel going to live?
 
               
               
                             DOCTOR
               There's been massive trauma. We could 
               of course try to save him but it would 
               be costly,
 
               
               difficult and we'd have to send away for some special really 
               tiny instruments.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well, uh, are there any other options?
 
               
               
                             DOCTOR
               We could put him to sleep.

               
                             GEORGE
               What might that cost?

               
                             DOCTOR
               Well, it's by the pound. So ... about 
               80 cents.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well? (Miranda hits George) I was just 
               - I'm curious, that's all. We, uh. we'd 
               like you to do
 
               
               everything possible.

               
                             DOCTOR
               He, um. he's not going to be the same, 
               you know?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               yeah. yeah. I know.

               
               ( Kramer's apartment)

               
                             GEORGE
               So they're flying the tiny instruments 
               in from El Paso.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               El Paso? I spent a month there one night.
 
               
               
                             NEWMAN
               (laughs)El Paso!

               
                             JERRY
               What's he here for?

               
                             KRAMER
               To take some of the pressure off of 
               me. So, Jerry, what's going on with 
               you? I understand
 
               
               there's a young lady in your life. mmm

               
                             JERRY
               Well, actually, it's kind of a funny 
               story because she has this amazing toy 
               collection and last night
 
               
               I finally got to play with them.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well. It sounds like things are progressing. 
               Do I hear wedding bells?
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               Are you married right now?

               
                             JERRY
               Actually she doesn't even know about 
               the toys. I gave her the wrong kind 
               of medicine and
 
               
               I guess she passed out!

               
                             KRAMER
               What do you mean "wrong kind of medicine"?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               She's even got that old Matel football 
               game that we love!
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, come on! You gotta get me over there!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Wait a minute, wait a minute! You mean 
               to say that you drugged a woman so you 
               could take
 
               
               advantage of her toys? Let's pause a moment. Jerry, now, what 
               you do with your personal
 
               
               life is your business, but when you're on my set - you clean 
               it up, mister!
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               I told you he was a risk.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, like he's not just carrying you! 
               And has been for years!
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               Yeah? Well, you bombed! That story stunk 
               worse than these chairs!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Smile, everyone! We're back!

               
               ( Elaine's office)

               
                             LOU
               You wanted to see me, Elaine?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes, Lou. you've got a lot going for 
               you. You're, ... um ... you're spontaneous. 
               You're
 
               
               symmetrical. You're, uh, ... you're very quick, aren't y'a?. 
               It's just that your...
 
               
                             LOU
               My dead tooth?

               
                             ELAINE
               No. Your. (breathes)

               
                             LOU
               My breath?

               
                             ELAINE
               Eechh.

               
                             LOU
               What can I do?

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, you should never ever go anywhere 
               without these. (Tic Tacs)
 
               
                             LOU
               Thanks, Elaine. You're such a super 
               lady! (he clicks ans clicks now when 
               he walks)
 
               
               ( Celia's apartment)

               
               
               
                             GEORGE
               More wine and turkey? (Pours Celia more 
               wine)
 
               
                             JERRY
               So when I saw George on the street with 
               an 18 pound turkey and a giant box of 
               wine, I thought:
 
               
               ... What a coincidence. We're just about to eat.

               
                             CELIA
               What is that stuff in turkey that makes 
               you sleepy?
 
               
                             JERRY AND GEORGE
               Triptaphen.

               
                             JERRY
               ... I think. Have some more wine.

               
                             CELIA
               What video did you get?

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, George brought home movies of his 
               boyhood trip to Michigan.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Four hours.

               
                             JERRY
               More heavy gravy?

               
               (Celia is sleeping )

               
                             GEORGE
               (playing with toys) Yes! Touch down! 
               Your turn, Jerry.
 
               
               ( Kramer's apartment)

               
                             NEWMAN
               Lately, though, I've been, uh, - I've 
               been buying the generic brand of waxed 
               beans. you know.
 
               
               I rip of the label. I can hardly tell the difference.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, we've officially bottomed out. 
               Who's our next guest?
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               We've got no one!

               
                             KRAMER
               We need a new foreman. We should shut 
               down and re-tool.
 
               
               (pulls the plug and the show goes dark)

               
                             NEWMAN
               What about a guest-host?

               
                             KRAMER
               I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

               
               ( Veterinarian's office)

               
                             MIRANDA
               Doctor, how's the squirrel?

               
                             GEORGE
               Is he dead?

               
                             DOCTOR
               No. Fortunately, the special tiny instruments 
               arrived just in time. Would you like 
               to visit him?
 
               
                             MIRANDA
               Yes he would.

               
                             DOCTOR
               You have 30 minutes. (exits)

               
                             GOERGE
               So ... uh, squirrel.

               
               (Doctor enters)

               
                             DOCTOR
               One more thing Mister Costanza, we just 
               need to know what time you'll be picking 
               him up
 
               
               tomorrow.

               
                             GEORGE
               What's that?

               
                             DOCTOR
               Oh, we're discharging the squirrel. 
               We think he'll be better off at home.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               He has no home. He's a squirrel.

               
                             DOCTOR
               Your home, Mister Costanza. Just make 
               sure he gets his medicine six times 
               a day and keep his
 
               
               tail elevated. (exits)

               
               (Monk's)

               
                             JERRY
               Maybe it'll be fun having a pet.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's not a pet! It's a wild invalid! 
               And it knows that I tried to kill it. 
               As soon as it gets better, it's
 
               
               gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep!

               
               (Kramer enters)

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry, what are you doin' tomorrow? 
               I want you to come by the set.
 
               
                             JERRY
               What about my "questionable material"?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Nope, we got a whole new format. Edgy, 
               youthful, plus ... we got Jim Fowler!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Jim Fowler? The animal guy from "Wild 
               Kingdom" is coming to your apartment?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Well, I practically raised his kids.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               That's perfect! He's a zoo guy! He take's 
               care of animals. Can I bring the squirrel 
               by?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               What? Two animal acts on the same show? 
               What is this, amateur hour? Look, George, 
               I'm
 
               
               sorry, but maybe another time, all right? (exits)

               
                             GEORGE
               I gotta get to Fowler. I know that he 
               would take this squirrel off my hands. 
               It's practically
 
               
               bionic!

               
               (Elaine enters)

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey! ha ha Nice sidle, huh? Speaking 
               of which I think I got that problem 
               solved.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Tic-Tacs worked?

               
                             ELAINE
               He's a human maraca.

               
                             GEORGE
               Boy, my knuckles are still cramped from 
               that football game.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               You took him over to Celia's?

               
                             JERRY
               What? It's a victimless crime.

               
                             ELAINE
               What about the woman who's been drugged 
               and taken advantage of?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Okay, one victim.

               
                             ELAINE
               I think it's unconscionable.

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, last night, I found a whole Weeble 
               Village right behind the EZ Bake oven.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               EZ Bake oven?

               
               (Celia's apartment)

               
                             ELAINE
               Who wants cupcake?

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, me, me, me, me, me!

               
                             JERRY
               You know, that batter is, like, 30 years 
               old.
 
               
                             FRANK
               (on TV) You step on it and it flushes.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Why is your father giving a tour of 
               a rest stop?
 
               
                             ESTELLE
               (on TV) Stop squirming.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, don't look. This is the part where 
               they change me.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're like eight years old.

               
                             ESTELLE
               (on TV) Georgie.

               
                             GEORGE
               I was seven and a half.

               
               ( Elaine's office)

               
               
               
                             PETERMAN
               That noise. that's the noise.

               
                             ELAINE
               What?

               
                             PETERMAN
               That inferno rattling sound that has 
               plagued me these past two days - and 
               I could not find the
 
               
               source. In my office, in the hallway. even in the men's room! 
               Shame on you, Elaine!
 
               
                             ELAINE
               No, no, Mr. Peterman that wasn't me!
 
               
               
                             PETERMAN
               That reminds me of the Hatian Voodoo 
               rattle torture! You haven't gone over 
               to their side
 
               
               have you?

               
                             ELAINE
               No Mister Peterman.

               
                             PETERMAN
               Because, if I hear one more rattle - 
               just one - your out on your can And 
               if you are undead -
 
               
               I'll find out about that too. (Exits)

               
               (Coffee room)

               
                             ELAINE
               Lou! In here! We have to talk.

               
                             LOU
               Oh, right.

               
                             ELAINE
               (Takes the Tic Tacs away from Lou) No, 
               stop it! Bad voodoo. You gotta stop 
               using these.
 
               
                             LOU
               Why?

               
                             ELAINE
               Because they're turning your teeth green?
 
               
               
                             LOU
               I only buy the white ones.

               
                             ELAINE
               Okay ... well then your teeth are green 
               for a different reason. Just stop carrying 
               these, okay?
 
               
               Just ... just mouth wash.

               
                             LOU
               I can't. It burns my cankers.

               
                             ELAINE
               Binacca?

               
                             LOU
               Again.

               
                             ELAINE
               Right, right, cankers. Um, I got it! 
               Chew gum!
 
               
                             LOU
               I hate gum. The only guy I ever liked 
               came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine. 
               They stopped
 
               
               making that about 20 years ago.

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, stinky, this is your lucky day.
 
               
               
               ( Kramer's apartment)

               
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Okay. a little later, we're gonna be 
               talking with animal expert Jim Fowler.
 
               
               
                             FOWLER
               Where are the cameras?

               
                             KRAMER
               But first, we're talking with Jerry. 
               Okay, Jerry, uh, you drugged a woman 
               in order to play with
 
               
               her toy collection. How do you feel about that?

               
                             JERRY
               It was great! I've done it a few more 
               time since then.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               And she doesn't know anything about 
               this?
 
               
                             JERRY
               No, not a thing.

               
                             NEWMAN
               laughs

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, Jerry, we have a little surprise 
               for you! Come on out, Celia!
 
               
                             CELIA
               What kind of a sick twisted creep are 
               you?
 
               
                             NEWMAN AND KRAMER
               Woah.

               
                             JERRY
               What is this? What is she doing here?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               It's the new format. Scandals and Animals. 
               Go with it.
 
               
                             CELIA
               If you think you can drug me and play 
               with my toys, you got another thing 
               coming, buddy!
 
               
                             NEWMAN
               Go girl!

               
                             JERRY
               Well, what kind of woman drinks a whole 
               box of wine?
 
               
                             NEWMAN AND KRAMER
               Ohhh!

               
               (George enters with the squirrel)

               
                             GEORGE
               Mister Fowler, I have a squirrel here 
               that is a miracle of modern science!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               George I told you we're booked!

               
                             FOWLER
               Careful. Hawks and squirrels don't get 
               along together.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Ohhh. another interesting confrontation. 
               This could be spicy. Yeah, George bring 
               him over.
 
               
                             FOWLER
               No, you idiot! Hawks eat squirrels!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Are we getting this?

               
               (Monk's)

               
               
               
                             JERRY
               So the whole set was destroyed?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, the squirrel kept scurrying and 
               the hawk kept clawing.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well, at least we know the prosthetic 
               squirrel hips work ... sorry about the 
               set.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I tell y'a it was a grind trying to 
               fill 10 hours a week. I'm not sure I 
               was ready to have my own
 
               
               talk show set.

               
                             MIRANDA
               I got the nut bread, George. Let's go. 
               (exits)
 
               
                             JERRY
               So the squirrel's gonna make it?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, he's in my bed. I'm sleeping on 
               the couch.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Sleeping on the couch? So you're...
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Still getting nothing! So go ahead pigeons. 
               Laugh it up. I'm getting in my car now 
               and the last
 
               
               think I heard ... we have NO DEAL!

               
               ( Celia's )

               
                             CELIA
               I'm glad you called, Elaine. I really 
               needed to talk to someone.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh well, hey, I dated Jerry too. I know 
               what a monster he can be. More wine 
               and turkey?
 
               
                             CELIA
               Who's he? (Lou)

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, he's nobody. Hey, listen, ... let 
               me top that off for y'a.
 
               
               
               
               
                             THE END                


The Merv Griffin Show



Writers :   Bruce Eric Kaplan
Genres :   Comedy


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