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                         THE PARKING GARAGE



                             Written by

                            Larry David




               
               INT. ESCALATOR - GOING DOWN TO A GARAGE.

               
                             IN SINGLE FILE
               GEORGE, JERRY and ELAINE, WHO'S CARRYING 
               A PLASTIC BAG WITH GOLDFISH, AND KRAMER 
               WHO'S HAVING A ROUGH TIME WITH A LARGE, 
               HEAVY BOX.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               One left...what a joke.

               
                             KRAMER
               You can have this one.

               
                             GEORGE
               No, that's not enough BTUs for my living 
               room...That was a complete waste of 
               time.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Hey, I didn't get one either.

               
                             JERRY
               Why do I always have the feeling that 
               everybody's doing something better than 
               me on Saturday afternoons?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               This is what people do.

               
                             JERRY
               No they don't. They're out on some big 
               picnic. They're cooking burgers. They're 
               making out on blankets. They're not 
               at some mall in Jersey watching their 
               friends trying to find the world's cheapest 
               air-conditioner.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               You should see what my father used to 
               go through before he bought a car. He'd 
               go from state to state. He was away 
               for weeks at a time. It was like he 
               was running for President and he was 
               going through the primaries. We'd get 
               phone calls from motels in New Hampshire.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               So we took a little ride. What's the 
               big deal?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Well at least you accomplished something. 
               You got fish.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Big accomplishment. GEORGE Fish. What 
               do they do?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               What do you do?

               
                             KRAMER
               (RE: CAR) It's this way.

               
                             GEORGE
               What time is it?

               
                             JERRY
               Five o'clock.

               
                             GEORGE
               Always late. Always late.

               
                             JERRY
               You're not late.

               
                             GEORGE
               I told them to meet me in front of my 
               building at six-fifteen.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Who?

               
                             GEORGE
               My parents. It's their anniversary. 
               I'm taking them out to dinner and a 
               show tonight. You think we'll hit traffic?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Of course we'll hit traffic. It's rush 
               hour.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Isn't it going the other way?

               
                             JERRY
               There is no other way in New York. Everybody 
               goes every way all the time.
 
               
               ELAINE But it's Saturday. JERRY You got the picnic and burger 
               traffic. GEORGE I always get myself in this position. Can't be 
               on time. Gotta rush.
 
               
               KRAMER STOPS AND LOOKS AROUND.

               
                             ELAINE
               What's the matter?

               
               HE MUMBLES SOMETHING AND CONTINUES WALKING.

               
                             JERRY
               I have to go to the bathroom. Why do 
               they hide the bathroom in these malls?
 
               
               
               KRAMER STUMBLES WITH THE AIR-CONDITIONER.

               
                             JERRY
               You want me to help you with that?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               No, no, I got it.

               
               AND HE STUMBLES AGAIN. JERRY SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

               
                             JERRY
               (TO GEORGE, RE:WOMAN) What do you think, 
               Georgie boy?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Did I need that pointed out for me? 
               What is that going to do for me? How 
               does that help me, to see her? I'm trying 
               to live my life. Don't show me that.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               If you like her, go talk to her.

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, right. I'll just go up and say, 
               "Hi, how ya' doing? Would you like a 
               glass of white wine?"
 
               
                             JERRY
               Before you got within twenty feet of 
               this woman, she'd have her finger on 
               the mace button. She's like an expensive 
               car with one of those motion-sensor 
               force field alarms. Any sudden movement 
               in the area could set her off.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               She's fat.

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh she's fat?

               
               KRAMER STOPS AGAIN, CONFUSED.

               
                             ELAINE
               What?

               
                             JERRY
               Where's the car?

               
                             KRAMER
               I thought it was here.

               
                             GEORGE
               You don't know where we parked?

               
               KRAMER LOOKS AROUND, THEN RESUMES WALKING. THEY FOLLOW.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh, this is great.

               
                             KRAMER
               Blue-one. I thought it was blue-one.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I thought it was green. I remember seeing 
               green.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I didn't pay attention.

               
                             GEORGE
               This is just what I need.

               
                             ELAINE
               I'm sure it's right around here.

               
                             KRAMER
               It looks familiar. I remember the elevator.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               There's elevators all over! It all looks 
               the same.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's over there. I know where it is.
 
               
               
               NOW JERRY TAKES THE LEAD AND THE OTHERS FOLLOW.

               
                             ELAINE
               It's black, right?

               
                             KRAMER
               Dark blue.

               
                             GEORGE
               You come to a parking lot, you write 
               it down. How hard is that?
 
               
                             JERRY
               There it is!...No, no that's a Toyota.
 
               
               
               THEY STOP...

               
                             JERRY
               Hmmm...I thought it was...

               
                             KRAMER
               Didn't we come in over there?

               
                             JERRY
               I thought it was over there.

               
                             ELAINE
               How long can fish live in one of these 
               plastic bags?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               About two hours.

               
                             ELAINE
               You'd better find this car.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's this way...

               
                             JERRY
               I really have to go to the bathroom.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Why don't you go behind one of these 
               cars? J
 
               
               JERRY SHOOTS HIM A LOOK.

               
                             KRAMER
               Why? Nobody's around.

               
                             JERRY
               I'll wait.

               
                             KRAMER
               You know when you hold it in like that 
               you can cause a lot of damage to your 
               bladder. That's what happens to truck 
               drivers. They hold it in all the time. 
               Eventually it starts coming out involuntarily. 
               JERRY Alright.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers 
               are a six hundred million dollar a year 
               industry?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Maybe I should just go anytime I get 
               the urge like you...wherever I am. There's 
               too much urinary freedom in this society. 
               I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.
 
               
               
               ANGLE ON ELAINE AND GEORGE...

               
                             ELAINE
               There it is!...No that's not it.

               
               A CAR SCREECHES AROUND A CURVE, ELAINE IS UNNERVED.

               
                             ELAINE
               Hey, watch it. ...Did you see that car? 
               Maniac. Can you explain something to 
               me? I got six questions wrong on my 
               drivers test. That's the maximum. I 
               read the book, I'm a college graduate. 
               This is a country where fifty percent 
               of its high school students can't locate 
               Europe on a map. How are they all passing 
               that test? It's a mystery.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               ...Six wrong?

               
                             ELAINE
               Those school zones are a killer.

               
                             JERRY
               Will you let me help you with that?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               I'm gonna put it down behind that car.
 
               
               
               HE DOES SO.

               
                             JERRY
               You're not worried somebody's gonna 
               pee on it?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Pink eleven. Remember that.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh I got it. (TO JERRY) That I'm supposed 
               to remember. Where the car is, that's 
               insignificant.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               (LOOKING AT FISH) I think they're laboring.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Look at this place. It's huge...

               
                             GEORGE
               I can tell you this. If I am not in 
               front of my house at six-fifteen, when 
               my parents get there, they will put 
               me on an aggravation installment plan 
               that will compound with interest for 
               decades.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Parents never forget a foul-up. I once 
               left a jacket on the bus when I was 
               fourteen. Last week I'm flying to Chicago 
               to do a show, "Make sure you hang on 
               to your jacket."
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Where the hell is this car, Kramer?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               It's got to be here.

               
                             ELAINE
               Why are they using so many colors? And 
               the numbers go up to forty.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Maybe it's not on this level.

               
                             GEORGE
               What?

               
                             JERRY
               There are four different levels. Maybe 
               we're on the wrong level. How long was 
               the escalator ride up?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               It felt like a couple of levels.

               
                             JERRY
               You should always carry a pad and pen. 
               GEORGE I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid 
               I'll puncture my scrotum.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I have a pen.

               
               THEY REACT...

               
                             JERRY
               Where was the bathroom in this mall? 
               There are six-hundred stores, I didn't 
               see one bathroom. What is this, like 
               a joke? They finished building the mall 
               and they go, "Oh my god, we forgot the 
               bathrooms."
 
               
                             MOTHER
               Don't you dare talk to me like that! 
               You hear me?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Look at that woman.

               
               SHE'S HITTING HER BOY ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.

               
                             MOTHER
               I told you! I don't care! You'll have 
               to wait.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, is that necessary?

               
                             MOTHER
               Why don't you mind your own business?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               I think hitting a defenseless child 
               is my business.
 
               
                             KID
               You're ugly.

               
                             GEORGE
               ...What?

               
                             KID
               You're ugly.

               
                             GEORGE
               You are!

               
                             KID
               You are!

               
               THE KID GETS IN THE CAR. GEORGE IS STUNNED.

               
                             GEORGE
               I should've hit the little son-of-a-bitch. 
               I can't stand kids. Adults think it's 
               so wonderful how honest kids are. I 
               don't need that kind of honesty. I'll 
               take a deceptive adult over an honest 
               kid any day.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               (RE CAR) I found it!

               
                             ELAINE
               He's got it.

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh...no.

               
                             JERRY
               All right, that's it. From now on no 
               more calling out they found it, unless 
               we're sitting in it. Okay?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, look at my fish.

               
               JERRY HOLDS UP THE BAG AND HITS IT WITH HIS FINGER.

               
                             JERRY
               His eyes look a little cloudy.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh are they gonna be furious.

               
                             JERRY
               Who's got the tickets? GEORGE I do. 
               (TO KRAMER) I thought you knew this 
               mall. You said you'd been here before!
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               It was easy the last time.

               
                             ELAINE
               My fish are dying right in front of 
               me! We have to get someone to drive 
               us around the parking lot to help us 
               look for the car.
 
               
                             JERRY
               No one's going to do that.

               
               ELAINE SPOTS A FORTY-ISH, STYLISH COUPLE WALKING TO THEIR CAR.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Excuse me, we can't seem to find our 
               car. I was wondering if it would be 
               possible if you're not in a hurry, to 
               drive us around the garage for five 
               minutes so we can look.
 
               
                             MAN #1
               ...Sorry.

               
                             ELAINE
               Five minutes.

               
                             MAN #1
               Can't do it.

               
                             ELAINE
               We're not wilding.

               
               THEY LEAVE.

               
                             ELAINE
               Excuse me - I can't seem to find my 
               car - do you think you could drive me...
 
               
               
               THEY START LAUGHING.

               
                             ELAINE
               Oh that's funny? Is that funny? Well 
               tell me if you think this is funny - 
               These fish are dying! They're gasping 
               for oxygen right now! They'll be floating 
               in an hour. Is that funny too?
 
               
               THEY IGNORE HER AND KEEP LAUGHING. CUT TO JERRY AND KRAMER.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Those are really ugly sneakers. Where 
               did you get those?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Right here at the mall.

               
               BACK TO ELAINE, SEEKING OUT A MAN WITH A BEARD.

               
                             ELAINE
               Excuse me...

               
               HE IGNORES HER AND KEEPS WALKING.

               
                             ELAINE
               Sorry to have disturbed you. Terribly 
               sorry. But the fish will be dead. You 
               do know that. They can't live in plastic. 
               That's not me talking, that's science.
 
               
               
               CUT TO JERRY AND KRAMER.

               
                             JERRY
               It's amazing how shopping makes me have 
               to go. All I have to do is walk into 
               a department store and it's like some 
               kind of horse laxative just kicked in.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               You drank a whole bottle of water.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I know.

               
                             KRAMER
               So why don't you just go?

               
                             JERRY
               No I can't.

               
                             KRAMER
               Don't you get tired of following rules?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               You think I'm too cautious?

               
                             KRAMER
               Why be uncomfortable if you don't have 
               to? It's organic.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Organic. So's Buddy Hackett.

               
                             KRAMER
               Buddy Hackett?

               
                             JERRY
               He's a comedian.

               
                             KRAMER
               I know.

               
                             JERRY
               All right. All right.

               
                             KRAMER
               (pointing) You can go over here.

               
                             JERRY
               I can manage.

               
                             KRAMER
               (turns away and spots George) George! 
               (leaves scene)
 
               
               KRAMER It'll take you ten seconds.

               
               HE NUDGES JERRY.

               
                             JERRY
               Okay, okay. I'll be right back.

               
               WE STAY WITH JERRY AS HE WALKS TO THE BACK OF A CAR, LOOKS AROUND 
               LIKE SUPERMAN, THEN LETS FLY. HE FINISHES, ZIPS UP, THEN TURNS 
               AND SEES A SECURITY GUARD STARING AT HIM WITH HIS ARMS FOLDED.
 
               
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Okay, let's go. Come with me.

               
                             JERRY
               But...

               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Come on.

               
                             JERRY
               ...Kramer

               
               INT. SECURITY GUARD'S OFFICE

               
                             JERRY
               I've had this condition since I was 
               eleven! I've been in and out of hospitals 
               my whole life. I have no control over 
               it. Doctors have told me that when I 
               feel it, the best thing to do is just 
               release it. Otherwise, I could die.
 
               
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Well you're still not allowed.

               
                             JERRY
               Do you hear what I'm saying to you?! 
               I'm telling you that if I don't go, 
               I could die. Die. Is it worth dying 
               for?
 
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               That's up to you.

               
                             JERRY
               So you don't care if I die.

               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               What I care about is the sanitary condition 
               of the parking facility.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It was life and death.

               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Uh huh.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh I'm lying. Why would I do it unless 
               I was in mortal danger? I know it's 
               against the law.
 
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               I don't know.

               
                             JERRY
               Because I could get Uromysitisis poisoning 
               and die. That's why!...Do you think 
               I enjoy living like this?...the shame, 
               the humiliation...You know I have been 
               issued a public urination pass by the 
               city because of my condition. Unfortunately 
               my little brother ran out of the house 
               with it this morning.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Him and his friends are probably peeing 
               all over the place. You want to call 
               the Department of Social Services? Oh, 
               it's Saturday. They're closed today. 
               My luck.
 
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               You can tell the police all about it.
 
               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE - GEORGE, KRAMER, AND ELAINE.

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry!

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry!

               
                             GEORGE
               Unbelievable, I'm never gonna get out 
               of here. The guy goes to pee, he never 
               comes back. It's like a science fiction 
               story.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Maybe he went to one of the other levels. 
               I'll go look for him.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Oh now you're gonna go? ELAINE I'll 
               be back in five minutes.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               If you go now, I know what's gonna happen. 
               We'll find the car, Jerry will show 
               up, and then we'll never find you.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               No, no, I'll be back.

               
               SHE LEAVES.

               
                             GEORGE
               Oh what's the difference? We'll all 
               be dead eventually.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Does that bother you?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, it bothers me. Doesn't it bother 
               you?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Not at all.

               
                             GEORGE
               See now that bothers me even more than 
               dying bothers me, cause it's people 
               like you who live to be a hundred and 
               twenty because you're not bothered by 
               it. How could it not bother you?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               I once saw this thing on T.V. with people 
               who are terminally ill. And they all 
               believed the secret of life is just 
               to live every moment.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, yeah. I've heard that. Meanwhile 
               I'm here with you in a parking garage, 
               what am I supposed to do?
 
               
               
               INT. SECURITY OFFICE - JERRY AND THE SECURITY GUARD.

               
                             JERRY
               First of all you don't even know technically 
               that I went. That's for starters. I 
               mean I could've been pouring a bottle 
               of water out there. You don't know.
 
               
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               I know what you did.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh really, do you? Well it just so happens 
               that I did pour water out. I had a bottle 
               of very tepid water and I poured it 
               out. And I could see how you made a 
               mistake, because pouring water out sounds 
               very much like a person urinating.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               And you know when you think about it 
               it's really quite an amusing case of 
               mistaken identity. That's all it is.
 
               
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Yeah I'm sure.

               
                             JERRY
               You know this is not the first time 
               this has happened to me. I always carry 
               water because of my condition. It dehydrates 
               me. It's a vicious cycle.
 
               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE - ELAINE, LOOKING FOR JERRY.

               
                             ELAINE
               And now he's gone. I'm sure he's looking 
               for the car. Five minutes, that's all. 
               I just want to find him.
 
               
                             MAN #1
               I can't do it.

               
                             ELAINE
               But why? Why can't you do it?

               
                             MAN #1
               I can't.

               
                             ELAINE
               No, see that's not a reason you can't. 
               You just don't want to.
 
               
                             MAN #1
               That's right.

               
                             ELAINE
               But why? Why don't you want to?

               
                             MAN #1
               I don't know.

               
                             ELAINE
               But wouldn't you get any satisfaction 
               out of helping someone out?
 
               
                             MAN #1
               No, I wouldn't.

               
               
               
               INT. SECURITY SHACK - JERRY (A NEW TACK) All right, all right. 
               I want to apologize. I was frightened, I said crazy things. I 
               obviously offended you. I insulted your intelligence. The uromysitisis, 
               the water bottle...I made it all up, and now...I'm going to tell 
               you the truth. Today my father and mother are celebrating their 
               fiftieth, well I'm jumping ahead here, their forty-seventh wedding 
               anniversary. We made arrangements to spend the evening together. 
               They are supposed to be in front of my building at six-fifteen.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What I haven't told you, or anyone else 
               for that matter, is that my father's 
               been in a Red Chinese prison for the 
               past fourteen years.
 
               
               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE - GEORGE AND KRAMER, STILL LOOKING FOR THE 
               CAR.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               The guy's got a fat fetish. Spector 
               never dates a woman under two hundred-fifty 
               pounds.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Really.

               
                             KRAMER
               What does he do with all that fat? Does 
               he just jump up and down on it? Does 
               he gouge it like Killer Kowalski?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Who's Killer Kowalski?

               
                             KRAMER
               He was a wrestler. He would grab hold 
               of someone's stomach and just squeeze 
               it until they gave.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I've gotta go to the bathroom.

               
                             KRAMER
               So go.

               
                             GEORGE
               Here?

               
                             KRAMER
               You and Jerry.

               
               
               
               INT. SECURITY OFFICE - GEORGE BEING LED IN BY THE SECURITY GUARD.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Don't you believe me? It's their fiftieth 
               anniversary. You know this is gonna 
               kill him. You're aware of that. Kill 
               him. On the biggest night of his life...
 
               
               
                             SECURITY GUARD
               Oh your folks have an anniversary today 
               too? Was he also in a Red Chinese prison?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               A Red Chinese prison?

               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE - KRAMER, WANDERING AIMLESSLY.

               
                             KRAMER
               George! George!

               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry!

               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE

               
                             JERRY
               Well what happened was my father was 
               staying in the home of one of Red China's 
               great military leaders, General Chang, 
               who by the way came up with the recipe 
               for General Chang's chicken. You know, 
               the one with the red peppers and orange 
               peel at Szechwan Gardens? GEORGE Sure, 
               I have it all the time. Very spicy.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Well General Chang was a very flamboyant 
               man. A complete failure as a general, 
               but a helluva cook.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry! JERRY Elaine?!

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry! Over here...

               
               NOW THEY SPOT HER.

               
                             ELAINE
               Where have you been?

               
                             JERRY
               I was arrested for urinating.

               
                             GEORGE
               Me too.

               
                             ELAINE
               You what?

               
                             JERRY
               I have uromysitisis. It's very serious 
               you know.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Look at my fish... 

               
                             ELAINE
               Is he... 

               
                             JERRY
               No, but he's not looking good...

               
                             ELAINE
               Please, we can't find our car. Please 
               drive us around the parking lot to find 
               our car. My fish are dying.
 
               
                             MAN #2
               Can't do it.

               
                             ELAINE
               I can see not caring what happens to 
               us, we're human. But what about the 
               fish? The fish?
 
               
                             MAN #3
               Sorry.

               
                             ELAINE
               That's right, go. Go home to your dumbbells. 
               Work on your pecs. I'm really impressed.
 
               
               
               
                             ELAINE
               That's right you heard me. You got a 
               problem with that?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Elaine, shut-up.

               
                             JERRY
               Hey, where's Kramer?

               
                             GEORGE
               I don't know. (TO ELAINE) Where's Kramer?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               I thought he was with you.

               
                             GEORGE
               See, I knew it. I knew this was gonna 
               happen...
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Look at the time, that's it.

               
                             ELAINE
               Have we looked over there? Have we checked 
               that side? GEORGE We came in over there!
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               We didn't come in over there! JERRY 
               Where's Kramer?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Hey George, there she is again. ...
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               So what do you want me to do?

               
                             JERRY
               Ask her to drive us around. There's 
               your opening.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               That is an opening.

               
                             GEORGE
               Excuse me...I really... What's happened 
               is that my friend forgot where he parked 
               and if you're not in a big hurry, we'd 
               really appreciate it if...
 
               
                             AMY
               Oh sure, I'll drive you around.

               
                             GEORGE
               You will?

               
                             AMY
               Sure.

               
               GEORGE WAVES FOR JERRY AND ELAINE.

               
                             GEORGE
               Thanks a lot. I'm really late. My parents 
               are waiting in front of my building 
               and we're stuck here.
 
               
                             AMY
               I wouldn't want to get lost in here. 
               It smells like a toilet. People are 
               such animals.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, right.

               
                             JERRY
               Filthy pigs.

               
               THEY ALL GET IN THE CAR.

               
                             GEORGE
               It's a blue Honda...

               
                             AMY
               This has happened to me too. It's very 
               frustrating.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Hi, I'm Elaine.

               
                             JERRY
               Jerry.

               
                             AMY
               Hello.

               
                             ELAINE
               It's very nice of you to do this. I've 
               asked several people and they wouldn't 
               even answer me.
 
               
                             AMY
               I'm happy to do it. (TO GEORGE) I'm 
               Amy.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hi Amy, I'm George.

               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE

               
                             GEORGE
               I didn't mean anything by it. I don't 
               even know L. Ron Hubbard! I didn't know 
               you were...
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               ...with that group.

               
                             ELAINE
               What about my fish?

               
                             JERRY
               Boy, those Scientologists. They can 
               be pretty sensitive.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I'll say.

               
               THEY TURN TO GEORGE, WHO'S GAPING AT SOMETHING.

               
                             ELAINE
               What is it?

               
                             ELAINE
               The car!

               
                             JERRY
               The car!

               
                             GEORGE
               The car!

               
                             ELAINE
               We found it. I can't believe it!

               
                             GEORGE
               Kramer, Kramer's not here...I knew it. 
               I knew it! I knew this would happen. 
               (SCREAMING) Kramer! Kramer!
 
               
                             JERRY
               Kramer!

               
               
               INT. PARKING GARAGE - ONE HOUR LATER

               
                             JERRY
               Kramer.

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, over here.

               
                             KRAMER
               Boy I had a helluva time finding that 
               air-conditioner. I looked everywhere. 
               I completely forgot where I hid it. 
               You know where it was? GEORGE Purple 
               23.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Right! Purple 23. I could've used you.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Sometimes it's good to have a pencil 
               to write these things down.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               What time is it?

               
                             GEORGE
               Seven forty-five.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well at least there's no traffic.

               
                             GEORGE
               Right.

               
                             KRAMER
               What time does that play start?

               
                             GEORGE
               Eight o'clock.

               
                             KRAMER
               That might be a problem. (TO ELAINE) 
               Where's your little bag of...
 
               
               JERRY INDICATES HE SHOULDN'T PURSUE THAT.

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh...(TAKES OUT PARKING STUB) Boy this 
               garage is going to cost a fortune. You 
               know how long we were here?
 
               
               
               
                             THE END



The Parking Garage



Writers :   Larry David
Genres :   Comedy


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