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Movie Chat



ALL SCRIPTS





                          THE PONY REMARK



                             Written by

                    Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld




 
               
               
               (Night club)

               
                             JERRY
               My parents live in Florida now. They 
               moved there last year. They didn't want 
               to move to Floriday, but they're in 
               their sixties, and that's the law. You 
               know
 
               
               how it works. They got the leisure police. They pull up in front 
               of the old people's house with a golf cart, jump out, "Let's 
               go Pop, white belt, white pants, white
 
               
               shoes, get in the back. Drop the snow shovel right there, drop 
               it!" I am not much for the family gathering. You know, you sit 
               there, and the conversation's so boring.
 
               
               It's so dull. And you start to fantasize. You know, you think, 
               what if I just got up and jumped out that window? What would 
               it be like? Just crashed right through the
 
               
               glass.. You know. Come back in, there's broken glass, everybody's 
               all upset. "No, I'm alright. I was just a little bored, there. 
               No, I'm fine. I came back. I wanted to
 
               
               hear a little about that Hummel collection, Aunt Rose. Let's 
               pick it up right there."
 
               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
               (Jerry's parents are in town. His father's watching T.V., his 
               mother is ironing his father's jackets)
 
               
                             HELEN
               (To Morty) You have so many nice jackets. 
               I don't know why you had to bring this 
               jacket. Who wears a jacket like this? 
               (He doesn't respond) What's
 
               
               wrong with that nice gray one? You have beautiful clothes. They 
               sit in your closet. Morty, you can't wear - this!
 
               
               (Phone rings)

               
                             MORTY
               Are you getting that?

               
                             HELEN
               I thought you were getting it.

               
                             MORTY
               Should I pick up?

               
                             HELEN
               You want me to get that?

               
                             MORTY
               I'll get it!

               
                             HELEN
               I'll get it!

               
               (They both go for the phone, Helen gets to it first)

               
                             HELEN
               Hello?.. Hello?

               
               (She hangs up. Jerry enters - he's wearing baseball clothes and 
               carrying a bat and glove)
 
               
                             JERRY
               (Talking about the loud T.V.) Would 
               you make this thing lower! I can hear 
               it on the street! (Turns it off)
 
               
                             MORTY
               So, how'd you do?

               
                             JERRY
               We won. I made an incredible play in 
               the field! There was a tag-up at third 
               base and I threw the guy out from left 
               field on a fly! We'll be in the championship
 
               
               
               game Wednesday because of me. It was the single greatest moment 
               of my life.
 
               
                             HELEN
               This is your greatest moment? A game?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Well, no. Sharon Besser, of course.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               You know what my greatest moment was, 
               don't you? 1946. I went to work for 
               Harry Flemming and I came up with the 
               idea for the beltless trench coat.
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               Jerry, look at this sport jacket. Is 
               this a jacket to wear to an anniversary 
               party?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well, the man's an individualist. He 
               worked for Harry Flemming. He knows 
               what he's doing.
 
               
                             HELEN
               But it's their 50th anniversary.

               
                             MORTY
               You know, I spoke to Manya and Isaac 
               on the phone today. They invited you 
               again. I think you should go.
 
               
                             JERRY
               First of all, I made plans with Elaine.
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               So bring her.

               
                             JERRY
               I don't even know them. What is she, 
               your second cousin? I mean, I've met 
               them three times in my life.
 
               
                             MORTY
               I don't know her either. (Gesturing 
               to Helen) She makes me fly all the way 
               from Floriday for this, and then she 
               criticizes my jacket.
 
               
                             HELEN
               At least come and say hello, have a 
               cup of coffee, then you'll leave.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               How come he gets to leave?

               
                             JERRY
               If I wind up sitting nest to Uncle Leo, 
               I am leaving. He's always grabbing my 
               arm when he talks to me. I guess it's 
               because so many people have left in 
               the
 
               
               middle of his conversation.

               
                             MORTY
               And it's always about Jeffrey, right?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Hey, he talks about him like he split 
               the atom. The kid works for the Parks 
               Department.
 
               
               (Enter Kramer)

               
                             KRAMER
               Morty, are you coming in?

               
                             MORTY
               Oh, yeah. I forgot all about it.

               
                             KRAMER
               (To Jerry) Hey, how'd you do?

               
                             JERRY
               We won. We're in the finals on Wednesday..
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah!

               
                             JERRY
               (To Kramer and Morty) What is this about?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               I'm completely changing the configuration 
               of the apartment. You're not gonna believe 
               it when you see it. A whole new lifestyle.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               What are you doing?

               
                             KRAMER
               Levels.

               
                             JERRY
               Levels?

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, I'm getting rid of all my furniture. 
               All of it. And I'm going to build these 
               different levels, with steps, and it'll 
               all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. 
               You
 
               
               know, like ancient Egypt.

               
                             JERRY
               You drew up plans for this?

               
                             KRAMER
               No, no. It's all in my head.

               
                             MORTY
               I don't know how you're going to be 
               comfortable like that.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, I'll be comfortable.

               
                             JERRY
               When do you intend to do this?

               
                             KRAMER
               Ohh.. should be done by the end of the 
               month.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You're doing this yourself?

               
                             KRAMER
               It's a simple job. Why, you don't think 
               I can?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, no. It's not that I don't think 
               you can. I know that you can't, and 
               I'm positive that you won't.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well, I got the tools. I got the pillows. 
               All I need is the lumber.
 
               
                             MORTY
               Hey, that's some big job.

               
                             JERRY
               I don't see it happening.

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, this time, this time you're wrong. 
               C'mon. I'll even bet you.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Seriously?

               
                             HELEN
               I dont' want you betting. Morty, don't 
               let him bet.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               A big dinner with dessert. But I've 
               got till the end of the month.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'll give you a year.

               
                             KRAMER
               No, no, no. End of the month.

               
                             JERRY
               It's a bet. (They both "pinkie swear" 
               to lock the deal)
 
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Manya's apartment)

               
               (Jerry sits between Uncle Leo and Elaine. Leo grabs his choulder)
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Seriously, do you wnat to switch chairs?
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               No, no. I'm fine.

               
                             LEO
               Jerry, are you listening to this?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, Uncle Leo.

               
                             LEO
               So, so, now the parks commissioner is 
               recommending Jeffrey for a citation.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Right. For reducing the pond scum?
 
               
               
                             LEO
               No, for the walking tours.

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, yeah. Where the people eat the plant 
               life - the edible foliage tour.
 
               
                             LEO
               That's exactly right. He knows the whole 
               history of the park. For two hours he's 
               talking and answering questions. But 
               you want to know something? Whenever
 
               
               
               he has a problem with one of these high-powered big shots in 
               the Parks Department, you know who he calls?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Mickey Mantle?

               
                             ELAINE
               (Helping him worm out of the conversation 
               with Leo) Jerry, Jerry. Did you taste 
               these peas? These peas are great!
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               (Eating a forkful) These peas are bursting 
               with country-fresh flavor.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Mmm.. phenomenal peas..

               
                             MORTY
               Are you ready for dessert?

               
                             JERRY
               Well, actually, we do have to kind of 
               get going.
 
               
                             MANYA
               (Surprised) You're going?

               
                             ELAINE
               I don't really eat dessert. I'm dieting.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, I can't eat dessert either. The 
               sugar makes my ankles swell up, and 
               I can't dance.
 
               
                             MANYA
               Can't dance?

               
                             HELEN
               He's kidding, Manya.

               
                             MANYA
               Is that a joke?

               
                             HELEN
               (Canging subject) So, did you hear Claire's 
               getting married?
 
               
                             MANYA
               Yeah, yeah..

               
                             HELEN
               I hear the fella owns a couple of racehorses. 
               You know, trotters, like at Yonkers.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Horses. They're like big riding dogs.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               What about ponies? What kind of abnormal 
               animal is that? And those kids who had 
               their own ponies..
 
               
                             JERRY
               I know, I hated those kids. In fact, 
               I hate anyone that ever had a pony when 
               they were growing up.
 
               
                             MANYA
               ..I had a pony.

               
               (The room is dead quiet)

               
                             JERRY
               ..Well, I didn't really mean a pony, 
               per se.
 
               
                             MANYA
               (Angry) When I was a little girl in 
               Poland, we all had ponies. My sister 
               had pony, my cousin had pony, ..So, 
               what's wrong with that?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just 
               merely expressting..
 
               
                             HELEN
               Should we have coffee? Who's having 
               coffee?
 
               
                             MANYA
               He was a beautiful pony! And I loved 
               him.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't 
               love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person 
               that had a pony?
 
               
                             MANYA
               You! You said so!

               
                             JERRY
               No, see, we didn't have ponies. I'm 
               sure at the time in Poland, they were 
               very common. They were probably like 
               compact cars..
 
               
                             MANYA
               That's it! I've had enough! (She leaves 
               the room)
 
               
                             ISAAC
               Have your coffee, everyone. She's a 
               little upset. It's been an emotional 
               day.
 
               
               (Isaac leaves, everyone looks at Jerry)

               
                             JERRY
               I didn't know she had a pony. How was 
               I to know she had a pony? Who figures 
               an immigrant's going to have a pony? 
               Do you know what the odds are on
 
               
               that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats 
               coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting 
               on a pony. Why would anybody come
 
               
               hre if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies 
               to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?
 
               
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
               (Morty and Helen are leaving, their bags are packed)

               
                             JERRY
               I'll drive you to the airport.

               
                             HELEN
               No, we're taking a cab.

               
                             JERRY
               I just hope that whole pony incident 
               didn't put a damper on the trip.
 
               
                             HELEN
               Don't be rediculous. It was a misunderstanding.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               Hey, I agree with him. Nobody likes 
               a kid with a pony.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Well, if you ever talk to her, tell 
               her I'm sorry. Elaine too. She feels 
               terrible.
 
               
                             HELEN
               You know, you should give Manya a call.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Maybe I will.

               
               (Jerry opens his door, Kramer's standing in the hallway)

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, hi. I just came to say goodbye. 
               (Gestures to the bags) ..Need any help 
               with those?
 
               
                             MORTY
               It's nothing. I got it. So, how are 
               your levels coming along?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, well.. I decided I'm not gonna do 
               it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               (Sarcastically) Really? What a shock.
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               Goodbye, Jerry.

               
                             JERRY
               Take care.

               
                             HELEN
               We'll call you. (Leaves)

               
                             MORTY
               Bye, Jer.

               
                             JERRY
               Bye, Dad. Take it easy.

               
                             MORTY
               Bye, Mr. Kramer.

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah. So long, Morty. (Morty leaves)
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So, when do I get my dinner?

               
                             KRAMER
               There's no dinner. The bet's off. I'm 
               not gonna do it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yes. I know you're not gonna do it. 
               That's why I bet.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               There's not bet if I' not doing it.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               That's the bet! That you're not doing 
               it!
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, well, I could do it. I don't want 
               to do it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               We didn't bet on if you wanted to. We 
               bet on if it would be done.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               And it could be done.

               
                             JERRY
               Well, of course it could be done! Anything 
               could be done! But it only is done if 
               it's done. Show me the levels! The bet 
               is the levels.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               But I don't want the levels!

               
                             JERRY
               That's the bet! (Phone rings, Jerry 
               answers it) Hello? ..No, oh, hi.. no, 
               they just left.. Oh my God.. hand on 
               a second. Maybe I can still catch them. 
               (Jerry
 
               
               goes over to the window, and opens it. He yells out of it) Ma!.. 
               Ma!.. Up here! Don't get in the cab! .. Manya died! ..Manya died!!
 
               
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Jerry's apartment)

               
                             HELEN
               Who did you talk to?

               
                             JERRY
               Uncle Leo.

               
                             HELEN
               And when's the funeral?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know. He said he'd call back.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               You know what this means, don't you? 
               We lost the supersaver. Those tickets 
               are non-refundable.
 
               
                             HELEN
               She just had a check-up. The doctor 
               said she was fine. Unless..
 
               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             HELEN
               What? Nothing.

               
                             JERRY
               You don't think.. What? The pony remark?
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               Oh, don't be ridiculous. She was an 
               old woman.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You don't think that I killed her?
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               You know what the flight back'll cost 
               us?
 
               
                             JERRY
               It was just an innocent comment! I didn't 
               know she had a pony!
 
               
                             MORTY
               Maybe we can get an army transport flight. 
               They got a base in Sarasota, I think.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               The whole thing ws taking out of context. 
               It was a joke. (Phone rings) That's 
               probably Uncle Leo.
 
               
               (Helen picks it up)

               
                             HELEN
               Hello? ..Yes, I know.. Well, it's just 
               one of those things.. Sure, sure, we'll 
               see you then. (Hangs up) The funeral's 
               Wednesday.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Wednesday? What, what Wednesday?

               
                             HELEN
               Two o' clock, Wednesday. (Jerry shrugs) 
               What?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I've got the softball game on Wednesday. 
               It's the championship.
 
               
                             HELEN
               So? You're not obligated. Go play in 
               your game.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I didn't even know the woman.

               
                             HELEN
               So don't go.

               
                             JERRY
               I mean I met her three times. I don't 
               know her last name.
 
               
                             HELEN
               Jery, no one's forcing you.

               
                             JERRY
               I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? 
               That's what I want to know. I mean, 
               it's the championship. I'm hitting everything.
 
               
               
                             HELEN
               I don't have a dress to wear. (To Morty) 
               And you. You don't have anything.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               I got a sport jacket.

               
                             HELEN
               You're not wearing that to a funeral.
 
               
               
                             MORTY
               What's wrong with it?

               
                             HELEN
               It looks ridiculous.

               
                             MORTY
               What? I'm gonna buy a new jacket now?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I don't know what to do.

               
                             MORTY
               ..You know what this funeral's gonna 
               wind up costing me? Oh boy!
 
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Night club)

               
                             JERRY
               We don't understand death. And the proof 
               of this is that we give dead people 
               a pillow. And, uh, I mean, hey, you 
               know. I think if you can't stretch out 
               and
 
               
               get some solid rest at that point, I don't see how bedding accessories 
               really make the difference. I mean, they got the guy in a suit 
               with a pillow. No is he going to a
 
               
               meeting, or is he catching forty winks? I mean, let's make up 
               our mind where we think they're going.
 
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Coffee Shop)

               
                             ELAINE
               I actually like ponies. I was just trying 
               to make conversation. What time's your 
               game?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Two Forty-Five.

               
                             ELAINE
               And what time's the funeral?

               
                             JERRY
               Two o' clock.

               
                             ELAINE
               How long does a funeral take?

               
                             JERRY
               Depends on how nice the person was. 
               But you gotta figure, even Oswald took 
               forty-five minutes.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               So you cna't do both?

               
                             JERRY
               You know, if the situation were reversed 
               and Manya had some mah-jongg championship 
               or something, I wouldn't expect her 
               to go to my funeral. I would
 
               
               understand.

               
                             ELAINE
               How can you even consider not going?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               You know, I've been thinking.. I cannot 
               envision any circumstances in which 
               I'll ever have the opportunity to have 
               sex again. How's it gonna happen? I
 
               
               
               just don't see how it could occur.

               
                             ELAINE
               You know, funerals always make me think 
               about my own mortality and how I'm actually 
               going to die someday. Me, dead. Imagine 
               that.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               They always make me take stock of my 
               life and how I've pretty much wasted 
               all of it, and how I plan to continue 
               wasting it.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I know, and then you say to yourself, 
               "From this moment on, I'm not going 
               to waste any more of it." But then you 
               go, "How? What can I do that's not
 
               
               
               wasting it?"

               
                             ELAINE
               Is this a waste of time? What should 
               we be doing? Can't you hae coffee with 
               people?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               You know, I can't believe you're even 
               considering not playing. We need you. 
               You're hitting everything.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               He has to go. He may have killed her.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Me? What about you? You brought up the 
               pony.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, yeah, but I didn't say I hated anyone 
               who had one.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (To Jerry) Who's going to play left 
               field?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Bender.

               
                             GEORGE
               Bender? He can't play left. He stinks. 
               I just don't see what purpose is it 
               going to serve your going? I mean, you 
               think dead peole care who's at the
 
               
               
               funeral? They don't even know they're having a funeral. It's 
               not like she's hanging out in the back going, "I can't believe 
               Jerry didn't show up."
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Maybe she's there in spirit. How about 
               that?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               If you're a spirit, and you can travel 
               to other dimensions and galaxies, and 
               find out the mysteries of the universe, 
               you think she's going to want to hang
 
               
               
               around Drexler's funeral home on Ocean Parkway?

               
                             ELAINE
               George, I met this woman! She is not 
               traveling to any other dimensions.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               You know how easy it is for dead people 
               to travel? It's not like getting on 
               a bus. One second. It's all mental.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Fifty years they were married. Now he's 
               moving to Pheonix.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Phoenix? What's happening with his appartment?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I don't know. They've been in there 
               since, like, World War II. The rent's 
               three hundred a month.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Three hundred a month? Oh my God.

               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Funeral home)

               
               (The eulogy is in progress. Jerry attended afterall)

               
                             MAN
               Although this may seem like a sad even, 
               it should not be a day of mourning.. 
               for Manya had a rich, fulfilling life. 
               She grew up in a different world - a 
               simpler
 
               
               world - with loving parents, a beautiful home in the country, 
               and from what I understand, she eve had a pony.. (Jerry throws 
               his hands up) Oh, how she loved that
 
               
               pony. Even in her declining years, whenever she would speak of 
               it, her eyes would light up. It's lustrous coat, it's flowing 
               mane. It was the pride of Krakow. (Jery
 
               
               sinks in his seat)

               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Anteroom of funeral parlor)

               
                             JERRY
               (Looking at his watch) Well, the game's 
               starting just about now.
 
               
                             HELEN
               It was good that the two of you came. 
               It was a nice gesture.
 
               
               (Scene cuts to Morty talking to an intern)

               
                             INTERN
               I'm not a doctor yet, Uncle Morty. I'm 
               just an intern. I can't write a note 
               to an airline.
 
               
                             MORTY
               You've got your degree. They don't care. 
               They just want to see something.
 
               
               (Scene cuts back to Jerry)

               
                             JERRY
               (To Isaac) I just wanted to say how 
               sorry I was..
 
               
                             LEO
               (Interrupting) Jerry, you wanna hear 
               something? Your cousin, Jeffrey, is 
               switching parks. They're transferring 
               him to Riverside - so he'll completely 
               revamp that
 
               
               operation, you understand? He'll do in Riverside what he did 
               in Central Park. It's more money. So, that's your cousin.
 
               
               (Scene cuts back to Morty)

               
                             MORTY
               You don't understand, I've never paid 
               a full fare.
 
               
                             JERRY
               (To Isaac) Once again, I just want to 
               say how sorry I am abou tthe other night.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, me too.

               
                             ISAAC
               Oh no, no, no. She forgot all about 
               that. She was much mor upset about the 
               potato salad.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               So, I understand you're moving to Phoenix?
 
               
               
               (Jerry shake his head and walks away)

               
                             ISAAC
               Yeah, my brother lives there. I think 
               Manya would've liked Phoenix.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Mmm.. gorgeous, exquisite town. Who, 
               what's happening with your apartment?
 
               
               
                             ISAAC
               Of course it's very hot there. I'l lhave 
               to get an air conditioner.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, you can have mine. I'll ship it 
               out ot you.. but what about that big 
               apartment on West End Avenue?
 
               
                             ISAAC
               Although they say it's a dry heat.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Dry, wet.. what's happening with your 
               apartment?
 
               
                             ISAAC
               I don't even know if I should take my 
               winter clothing.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I have an idea. Leave the winter clothing 
               in the apartment, and I'll watch it 
               for you and I'll live there and I'll 
               make sure that nothing happens to it.
 
               
               
               (Jerry comes back)

               
                             ISAAC
               Oh, the apartment. Jeffrey's taking 
               the apartment.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               (to Jerry) Oh, Jeffrey.

               
                             JERRY
               (To Elaine) You know Jeffery?

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah, from what I understand, he works 
               for the Parks Department.
 
               
               (Helen approaches Jerry)

               
                             HELEN
               It's raining.

               
                             JERRY
               (Moves to the window) It's raining? 
               It's raining. The game will be postponed. 
               We'll play tomarrow.
 
               
               (Scene cuts back to Morty)

               
                             MORTY
               Believe me, I wouldn't bother you if 
               the army hadn't closed that base in 
               Sarasota. Here, scribble a little something 
               here.
 
               
                             INTERN
               I can't. I'll get in trouble.

               
                             MORTY
               Oh, for God's sakes!

               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Coffee Shop)

               
                             GEORGE
               Who gets picked off in softball? It's 
               unheard of.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's never happend to me before.

               
                             ELAINE
               I remember saying to myself, "Why is 
               Jerry so far off the base?"
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'll have to live with this shame for 
               the rest of my life.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               And they in the fifth inning, why did 
               you take off on the pop fly?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I thought there were two outs.

               
                             ELAINE
               I couldn't believe it when I saw you 
               running. I thought maybe they had changed 
               the rules or something.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It was the single worst moment of my 
               life.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               What about Sharon Besser?

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, well, of course. 1973.

               
                             ELAINE
               Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Wonder about what?

               
                             ELAINE
               You know.. the spirit world.

               
                             JERRY
               You think Manya showed up during the 
               game and put a hex on me?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               I never saw anyone play like that.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               But I went ot the funeral.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing 
               her.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Maybe Manya missed the funeral because 
               she was off visiting another galaxy 
               that day.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Don't you think she would've heard I 
               was there?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Not necessarily. (Elaine laughs)

               
                             JERRY
               Who figures and immigrant's gonna have 
               a pony?
 
               
               (Scene ends)

               
               (Night Club)

               
                             JERRY
               What is the pony? What is the point 
               of the pony? Why do we have these animals, 
               these ponies? What do we do with them? 
               Besides the pony ride. Why
 
               
               ponies? What are we doing with them? I mean, police don't use 
               them for, you know, crowd control. "Hey, uh, you wanna get back 
               behind the barricades. Hey!
 
               
               Hey, little boy. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Behind the barricades!" 
               So somebody, I assume, genetically engineered these ponies. Do 
               you think they could make them
 
               
               any size? I mean, could they make them like the size of a quarter, 
               if they wanted? That would be fun for Monopoly, though, wouldn't 
               it? Just have a little pony and
 
               
               you put him on the, "Baltic, that's two down, go ahead. Hold 
               it. Right ther, Baltic. yeah, that's it. Fine. Right there, hold 
               it right there."
 
               
               
               
                                  THE END




The Pony Remark



Writers :   Larry David  Jerry Seinfeld
Genres :   Comedy


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