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                        THE SUMMER OF GEORGE



                             Written by

                      Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer




 
               
               
               (George and Jerry at a cafe terrace)

               
                             JERRY
               Nah, you had a good run. Took them to 
               the World Series.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I got to give the players most of the 
               credit for that.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Don't sell yourself short. You made 
               all the flight arrangements, hotels, 
               buses.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               No, I don't know who was doing that.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               So, when you actually did work, what 
               it was that you did?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               They had a pastry cart you wouldn't 
               believe.
 
               
               (Waitress (Lanette) comes with drinks)

               
                             LANETTE
               Here you go. Your latte, your cappuccino.
 
               
               
               (Waitress leaves)

               
                             JERRY
               Maybe I should ask her out?

               
                             GEORGE
               She is a good waitress.

               
                             JERRY
               That's true. Maybe I take her to the 
               Tony's.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               You're going to the Tony's?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, I wrote some jokes to the show 
               and they gave me two tickets.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Why didn't you ask me? I know a million 
               theater jokes. 'What's the deal with 
               those guys down in the pit?'
 
               
                             JERRY
               They're musicians. That's not a joke.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               It's a funny observation.

               
               (George reads a letter)

               
                             GEORGE
               Severance package...The Yankees are 
               giving me three months full pay for 
               doing nothing.
 
               
                             JERRY
               They did it for three years. What's 
               another few months.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               I'm really going to do something with 
               these three months.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Like what?

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm gonna read a book. From beginning 
               to end. In that order.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I've always wanted to do that...

               
                             GEORGE
               I'm gonna play frolf.

               
                             JERRY
               You mean golf?

               
                             GEORGE
               Frolf, frisbee golf Jerry. Golf with 
               a frisbee. This is gonna be my time. 
               Time to taste the fruits and let the 
               juices drip down my chin. I proclaim 
               this: The Summer
 
               of George!

               
               ( A bee comes and George has to runaway to inside)

               ------------------------------------------------------

               
               (Elaine's office. She and two co-workers are chatting in a corridor.)
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               ...and then Peterman ate it. I never 
               told him.
 
               
               (A woman comes walking by, with her hands hanging still besides 
               her.)
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Who's that?

               
                             DUGAN
               That's Sam, the new girl in the counting.
 
               
               
                             WALTER
               What's with her arms? They just hang 
               like salamis.
 
               
                             DUGAN
               She walks like orangutan.

               
                             ELAINE
               Better call the zoo.

               
                             DUGAN
               Reer...

               
                             ELAINE
               What?

               
                             WALTER
               ssssss...

               
                             DUGAN
               Cat-ty...

               ------------------------------------------------------

               (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and Elaine. George is watching TV.)
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               It's like she's carrying invisible suitcases.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Like this? (imitates the walk)

               
                             ELAINE
               Yes, exactly.

               
                             JERRY
               That's so strange.

               
                             ELAINE
               Right. So why I'm the one who gets 'reer'. 
               You know I mean they were being as catty 
               as I was. It's a double standard.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Oh, what about 'ladies night'? Women 
               admitted free before 10?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               That is so stupid.

               
                             JERRY
               Reer.

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, 'The White Shadow' is on...

               
                             JERRY
               Boy, your really packing it all in.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Jerry, my vacation just started. I need 
               a day or two to de-compress. Besides, 
               I did plenty today.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Like what?

               
                             GEORGE
               I bought a new recliner with a fridge 
               build right in to it.
 
               
               (Kramer enters wearing a bathrobe)

               
                             KRAMER
               Hey Jerry, you got any Tums?

               
                             JERRY
               Stomach ache?

               
                             KRAMER
               I drank too much water in the shower.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Aah, top of the fridge. Hey George, 
               I'm taking that waitress to the Tony's.
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Shadow!

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, the Tony's. I'll see you there buddy.
 
               
               
                             ELAINE
               You're going to the Tony's too?

               
                             KRAMER
               Roger that.

               
                             JERRY
               Where are you sitting?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, all over the place. Yeah, I'm 
               a seat filler. They don't like to see 
               empty seats on TV so when somebody gets 
               up I just park my kaboos on their spot 
               until they get back.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               How did you get that job?

               
                             KRAMER
               Mickey, Mickey he hooked me up. He's 
               a member of the academy.
 
               
                             JERRY
               What academy?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, he didn't say (leaves).

               ------------------------------------------------------

               
               (Jerry comes to pick up Lanette)

               
                             LANETTE
               Hi!

               
                             JERRY
               Hi!

               
                             LANETTE
               Nice tuxedo.

               
                             JERRY
               Thanks, it's a breakaway.

               
                             LANETTE
               Should we go?

               
                             JERRY
               Absolutely.

               
                             LANETTE
               Lyle, were going! Jerry, this is Lyle.
 
               
               
                             LYLE
               Hey, how you doing?

               
                             JERRY
               Ok...

               
               (Lyle and Lanette kiss)

               
                             LANETTE
               Bye.

               
                             LYLE
               Have a good time.

               
                             JERRY
               Thanks, Lyle...

               ---------------------------------------------------------

               (At the Tony's. Kramer is looking a place to fill. One man stands 
               up.)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Are you leaving? Cause I got you covered.
 
               
               
               (man tries to button his jacket and Kramer squeezes to his seat)
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               I'll just squeeze in...

               
                             MAN
               What are you doing?

               
                             KRAMER
               My job. What are you doing?

               
               (Kramer looks at the woman next to him)

               
                             KRAMER
               You know, if they catch two of us on 
               TV, you got some explaining to do.
 
               
               
               (Same time Jerry and the waitress are sitting elsewhere.)

               
                             JERRY
               So, you and Lyle are roommates?

               
                             LANETTE
               No.

               
                             JERRY
               Gay?

               
                             LANETTE
               What?

               
                             JERRY
               Is he gay?

               
                             LANETTE
               No.

               
                             JERRY
               Are you sure?

               
                             LANETTE
               I think I would know.

               
                             JERRY TO HIMSELF
               This is a new one.

               
               
               (Kramer takes a bite and hits the man in front of him in the 
               head. Then points the blame to lady next to him.)
 
               
                             ANNOUNCER
               ...and the best musical award goes to: 
               Scarsdale surprise!
 
               
               (People around Kramer stand up and roll on to the stage taking 
               Kramer with them.)
 
               
               (George is at home watching the show on TV and takes a soda out 
               of his new recliner.)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Kramer?

               
               (TV shows the producers and Kramer accepting the award on stage.)
 
               
               
                             MR. GRAHAM ON TV
               Thank you and God bless you all. This 
               has truly been a Scarsdale surprise!
 
               
               
               ------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               (At Monk's. Elaine and Sam.)

               
                             SAM
               Elaine, am I crazy? I just get the feeling 
               that Dugan and the others are making 
               fun of me all the time.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Well, You might wanna think about...maybe, 
               eh...moving your arms a little when 
               you walk.
 
               
                             SAM
               My arms?

               
                             ELAINE
               You know, sort of swing them, so your 
               not lurching around like a caveman.
 
               
               
                             SAM
               I a caveman?

               
                             ELAINE
               No no no no, it's just...

               
                             SAM
               Everybody told what a catty shrude you 
               are. Your horrible!
 
               
               ------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               (5A. Jerry and George.)

               
                             GEORGE
               She had a dude?

               
                             JERRY
               Yeah, when I went to pick her up there 
               was this dude.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               How do you know it was her dude?

               
                             JERRY
               What do you think it could've been just 
               some dude?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Sure, dudes in this town are dime a 
               dozen.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I reckon.

               
                             GEORGE
               Or maybe, she just wanted to go to the 
               Tony's. I tell you what; you ask her 
               out again. No Tony, just Jerry. That 
               way you know it he was her dude or just
 
               
               some dude.

               
                             JERRY
               Dude!

               
               (They make a high five.)

               
                             GEORGE
               All right, that's enough. I gotta go 
               home and take a nap.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's 10:30 in the morning?

               
                             GEORGE
               I tell you; I'm wiped.

               
                             JERRY
               So, has the summer of George already 
               started or are you still de-composing?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               De-compressing.

               
               (Kramer enters wearing a tuxedo and carrying a Tony statue.)
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Whooa, good morning gentleman and Tony 
               says hello to you.
 
               
                             JERRY
               You didn't give that thing back?

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry, it was a whirlwind. They whisked 
               us backstage, the media is sworming, 
               champagne is flowing...whooo! I can't 
               describe how great it is to win.
 
               
                             JERRY
               That's because you didn't win.

               
                             GEORGE
               'Scarsdale surprise'. That's the musical 
               about that Scarsdale diet doctor murder.
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Featuring the mind-blowing performance 
               of Ms. Raquel Welch!
 
               
                             JERRY
               You haven't even seen it.

               
                             KRAMER
               Aah, Jerry I'm not gonna let you bring 
               me down from this high. I've been partying 
               all night. I saw the sunrise at Liza's!
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               What, Minelli's!?!

               
                             KRAMER
               No.

               
               ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Elaine's office. She is at her desk talking to Sam.)

               
                             ELAINE
               Sam, listen I'm so sorry about the other 
               day.
 
               
                             SAM
               No, don't apologize Elaine. I was thinking 
               that maybe I should swing my arms a 
               little bit more.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               See, yeah, that's all I was saying.
 
               
               
                             SAM
               How's this (Sam hits a pen case out 
               of the table), or this (swings a paper 
               holder of the table and starts to clear 
               the table left and right).
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Well, you seem to be getting a hang 
               of it...
 
               ---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Jerry is picking up Lanette again. She opens the door wearing 
               a towel.)
 
               
                             JERRY
               Hi!

               
                             LANETTE
               Sorry, I'm running late. I just lost 
               track of time.
 
               
                             JERRY
               No rush.

               
               (Lyle walks by wearing a towel.)

               
                             LYLE
               Hey, Jerry! What's up?

               
                             JERRY TO HIMSELF
               I have absolutely no idea.

               
               ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               (5A. Jerry is on the phone with George who is at home.)

               
               (missing the beginning)

               
                             JERRY
               ..except that the dude plays the showroom 
               and I'm stuck doing food and beveridged!
 
               
               
               (Kramer comes in with the Tony.)

               
                             GEORGE
               Who's that?

               
                             JERRY
               It's Kramer.

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey Kramer.

               
                             JERRY
               George says hi.

               
               
                             GEORGE
               How's that Tony?

               
                             JERRY
               Why don't you just come over?

               
                             GEORGE
               Why can't we do this on the phone? What's 
               Kramer doing now?
 
               
                             JERRY
               He's looking on to fridgerator.

               
                             GEORGE
               Kramer. Anything good in there? Any 
               Popsicles?
 
               
                             JERRY
               I can't do this.

               
                             KRAMER
               So, what's George doing?

               
                             JERRY
               He's not doing anything. Goodbye!

               
                             KRAMER
               So listen, I'm going to crab a bite 
               to eat at Sardi's. You wanna go?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Are you taking the Tony to Sardi's?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               The Tony is taking me to Sardi's.

               
               (Knock on the door. Jerry opens and it's Lanette.)

               
                             JERRY
               Oh, hello.

               
                             KRAMER
               I'm going.

               
                             LANETTE
               Congratulations!

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, thank you, thank you so much. I 
               have so many people I want to thank 
               and don't want to forget anyone...
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               All right, all right.

               
               (Phone rings and Jerry answers.)

               
                             JERRY
               I said no! (hangs up the phone.)

               
                             LANETTE
               Jerry, I just want to let you know; 
               Lyle and I are completely over. I'd 
               rather be with you.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Just me? No dudes or fellas?

               
                             LANETTE
               What you think?

               
                             JERRY
               I can start right away.

               
               (Phone rings again.)

               
                             JERRY
               But not here. (They leave.)

               
               
               
               -------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               (At Sardi's. Kramer is sitting with a group of people.)

               
                             KRAMER
               ...so I said to him: Arthur, Artie come 
               on, why does the salesman have to die? 
               Change the title; The life of a salesman. 
               That's what people want to see.
 
               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               Mr. Kramer, my name is Lewis Maxton 
               Graham. I'm one of the producers of 
               'Scarsdale surprise'.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Hey, eh, Lew!

               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               We need to talk.

               -------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Elaine is talking to Peterman at her office.)

               
                             PETERMAN
               Elaine, what did you want to talk me 
               about?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               This. My office. Sam trashed my office.
 
               
               
                             PETERMAN
               Well, I see what's going on in here. 
               I am smack dab in the middle of a good 
               old fashioned cat fight.
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Mr. Petermen, this is not a cat fight. 
               This is violent psychotic behavior directed 
               at me all because are told her to swing 
               her arms.
 
               
                             PETERMAN
               Woof!

               
                             ELAINE
               Do you mean "reer?"

               
                             PETERMEN
               Yes, that's the one! Good day Elaine. 
               (Leaves.)
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Oh, no please Mr. Peterman, she's crazy! 
               (Sam walks by and Elaine starts to sing) 
               Crazy for feelings...
 
               
               -----------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               (At Monk's. Jerry and Lanette.)

               
                             JERRY
               I can't believe how much we did this 
               afternoon. I have friends who this would've 
               be their whole life.
 
               
                             LANETTE
               Now, what time are you picking me up 
               tonight?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Eh, what?

               
                             LANETTE
               You got our reservation from Sfuzi's, 
               didn't you?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Oh yeah, Sfuzi? I- I've gotta do that.
 
               
               
                             LANETTE
               Should I ware the outfit I bought today?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Sure.

               
                             LANETTE
               Which one?

               
                             JERRY
               The one with the...(mumbles.)

               
                             LANETTE
               If I wanna get my hair cut I've gotta 
               go now. Call me when you get home. I 
               wont be there, but leave a message so 
               I know you called.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Ok, ok...

               
                             LANETTE
               Do you mind?

               
                             JERRY
               No, I'll crab it.

               
               (Lanette leaves and Jerry bangs his head to the table. George 
               walks in.)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, I've done that today.

               
                             JERRY
               What, did you lose your remote?

               
                             GEORGE
               Nah, the cable's out. What's with you? 
               You look dead.
 
               
                             JERRY
               It's Lanette! I need an assistant or 
               intern or something.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               (Laughs) Relationship intern...hey, 
               what if two of us teamed up?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Not.

               
                             GEORGE
               No, no...

               
                             JERRY
               No, because that's...

               
                             GEORGE
               No, listen; we are always sitting here, 
               I am always helping you with your girl 
               problems and you are helping me with 
               my girl problems. Where do we end up?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Here.

               
                             GEORGE
               Exactly! Because neither one of us can't 
               handle a woman all by ourselves.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm trying.

               
                             GEORGE
               I've tried. We don't have it. But maybe 
               the two of us, working together at full 
               capacity, could do the job of one normal 
               man.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Then each of us would only have be like 
               a half man. That sounds about right!
 
               
               
               ------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Kramer at Sardi's, talking with two producers.)

               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               I'm sure how excited you are to have 
               this very very prestigious award. But 
               you didn't have anything to do with 
               the actual production.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               No.

               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               I don't think there's no way how we 
               can allow you to keep this Tony. Unless...
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Anything...

               
                             MALCOLM
               Are you familiar with our star, Raquel 
               Welch?
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Oh yeah, she's fantastic....

               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               She's a train wreck.

               
                             MALCOLM
               There's a big tap dance number just 
               before Jean Harris leaves the (?) school 
               to confront Dr Tarnover.
 
               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               It is a gut wrenching scene.

               
                             MALCOLM
               But, Raquel Welch doesn't move her arms 
               when she tap dances. It's very distracting.
 
               
               
                             MR. GRAHAM
               There's lot of this (swings his arms) 
               in tap dancing.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               So, you'd like me to teach how to dance?
 
               
               
                             MALCOLM
               No, we want you to fire her.

               
               ----------------------------------------------------------

               (5A. Jerry and Kramer.)

               
                             JERRY
               Why they want you to fire Raquel Welch?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Because they're terrified of her. I 
               heard from someone that when they cut 
               one of her lines, she climbed up the 
               rope on side of the stage and started 
               dropping
 
               lights on peoples heads. Story like that has got to be true.
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               She seems very nice.

               
                             KRAMER
               Jerry, you're not in show business. 
               You don't know what these people are 
               like.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I'm in show business.

               
                             KRAMER
               Oh, come on! What am I gonna do? She's 
               going to eat me alive.
 
               
                             JERRY
               I've got a tape of 'Fantastic voyage' 
               if you think that would help.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Yayaya...

               
               (Elaine enters.)

               
                             ELAINE
               Jerry, that crazy straight-armed woman 
               down at Peterman's trashed my office. 
               And then listen to this; this is message 
               she left me.
 
               
               (Takes a tape recorder and plays the tape.)

               
                             SAM'S VOICE
               Elaine...I am going to find you. If 
               not in your office then in the xerox 
               room or the little conference room near 
               to the kitchen...
 
               
                             ELAINE
               She must've got a blueprint of the building 
               or something.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Did you tell Peterman about this?

               
                             ELAINE
               Well, I tried, but he thought it was 
               some sort of cat fight.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Cat fight?

               
                             ELAINE
               Ok, why? Why do guys do this? What is 
               so appealing to men about a cat fight?
 
               
               
                             KRAMER
               Yeye cat fight!

               
                             JERRY
               Because men think if women are grabbing 
               and clawing at each other there's a 
               chance they might somehow kiss.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               T-t-t-t...

               
               -----------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Jerry and George are walking down the street.)

               
                             JERRY
               You got the tickets?

               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, two for the 7:15 of Novaj pravas 
               (?). What you're wearing the green sweater?
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               I like it.

               
                             GEORGE
               She doesn't like. Here is your blue 
               one, it's her favorite. (Takes sweater 
               out of his bag.)
 
               
                             JERRY
               What?

               
                             GEORGE
               Just put it on! All right now, remember 
               she had her nails done today so remark 
               how you like the color. And if you need 
               me you beep me, all right. Here you
 
               
               go, hey, hey, hey, hey...(sprays Binaca into Jerry's mouth.) 
               Go get'em you're a tiger!
 
               
                             JERRY
               Hey George, one second, she's having 
               a party friday night and she wants me 
               to take care of the invitations.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               A little notice would've helped! How 
               many people?
 
               
                             JERRY
               35, and George, on the invitations...
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               I know, I know...don't skimp. Go go 
               go go...
 
               
               (Jerry leaves and Lanette joins him.)

               
                             LANETTE
               Right on time, I like that.

               
                             JERRY
               I like your nails, that is a great color.
 
               
               
                             LANETTE
               Love the sweater.

               
                             JERRY
               This old thing?

               
               ----------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (George is getting the invitations, Melody Stationers.)

               
                             GEORGE
               Hi, I need some party invitations.
 
               
               
                             CLERK
               Okay, have you been in here before?
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               About a year ago. Wedding invitations.
 
               
               
                             CLERK
               Right, how did that all work out?

               
                             GEORGE
               No complaints.

               
                             CLERK
               Well, they are arranged according the 
               price. And as I recall...(she flips 
               the sample book all the way to the end.)
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Actually, (George flips the book back 
               to the beginning) I'll take these nice 
               glossy ones.
 
               
               --------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Majestic theater, Raquel Welch's dressing room.)

               
                             RAQUEL
               "You are a fraud Dr Tarnover. You haven't 
               even been to Scarsdale."
 
               
               (Kramer knocks on the door and enters.)

               
                             KRAMER
               Ms. Welch.

               
                             RAQUEL
               Who are you?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, I'm Cosmo Kramer, I'm one of the 
               producers.
 
               
               (Phone rings and Raquel answers.)

               
                             RAQUEL
               Hello, Sidney! No, no I told you I don't 
               want to do that! If you bring it up 
               again I will feed your genitals to a 
               wolf! (hangs up) Kids! You're still 
               here.
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Well, I- I Ms. Welch I do need to talk 
               to you about a little problem regarding, 
               eh, your performance.
 
               
               (Raquel kicks a chair out of her way.)

               
                             RAQUEL
               What kind of problem?

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, it seems that due to the vagaries 
               of the production parameters of this 
               fragmenting of the audience to the cable 
               television, carnivals, water parks...
 
               
               
                             RAQUEL
               Out with it!

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, you're fired because you don't 
               move your arms when you tap dance, you're 
               like a gorilla out there I've gotta 
               go...
 
               
               (Kramer runs out, but Raquel grabs him from the back.)

               --------------------------------------------------------

               
               (George walks at the park with the invitations. A frisbee flies 
               to his feet.)
 
               
                             GUY
               Little help?

               
                             GEORGE
               Hey, frolf?

               
                             GUY
               Yeah, you know we need a fourth for 
               the back nine. You want in?
 
               
                             
               "What's the deal with airplane peanuts?")
 
               
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, sure.

               
                             GUY
               Ok, come on.

               -------------------------------------------------------

               (Jerry is at Lanette's apartment. They are both wearing a towel.)
 
               
               
                             JERRY
               Ok, let's towel it up.

               
                             LANETTE
               Jerry, where are those invitations you 
               were supposed to get? If they don't 
               go out today they're useless.
 
               
                             JERRY
               But we're in towels.

               
                             LANETTE
               Jerry.

               
                             JERRY
               all right. One second.

               
               (Picks up the phone.)

               
               (George runs up the stairs)

               
                             GEORGE
               He frolfs, he scores...(he drops one 
               invitation on the stairs.)
 
               
               (George comes to his apartment and picks up the phone.)

               
                             GEORGE
               Hello.

               
                             JERRY
               George, where are those invitations? 
               You were supposed to leave them with 
               her doorman!
 
               
                             LANETTE COMES BY
               Did you shave your chest hair?

               
                             JERRY
               No. (Lanette leaves.) Did you at least 
               pick them up?
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Yeah, the super glossy. The best they 
               had.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Ok, get them over here pronto. We're 
               in towels here George.
 
               
                             GEORGE
               All right, All right, keep your towel 
               on.
 
               
                             JERRY
               ...what?

               
                             GEORGE
               It's a joke.

               
                             JERRY
               All right, that's not bad. Now get over 
               here!
 
               
               (George leaves from his apartment and comes down the stairs. 
               He slips on an invitation and falls on his back.)
 
               
               -------------------------------------------------------------------
 
               
               
               (Elaine is on the street and plays a tape to two police officers.)
 
               
               
               
                             ELAINE
               Can't you do anything about this? I 
               mean this woman is a psycho!
 
               
                             COP#1
               'Reer.'

               
                             ELAINE
               Look, just because I'm a woman...

               
                             COP#2
               'Mauau.'

               
                             COP#1
               'Meeow.'

               
               ---

               (Raquel Welch walks down the street.)

               
                             RAQUEL
               I don't move my arms when I dance. That's 
               my signature!
 
               ---

               
                             ELAINE
               Would you just keep an eye out for this 
               woman. She's about ye high and eh, she 
               doesn't swing her arms when she walks.
 
               
               
                             COP#1
               What do you mean?

               
                             ELAINE
               Like this...(imitates the walk with 
               her arms hanging.)
 
               
               (Raquel Welch comes towards her.)

               
                             RAQUEL
               What the hell is that? Are you making 
               fun of my dancing?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Aren't you Raquel Welch?

               
                             RAQUEL
               You know who I am. Now, what are you 
               doing?
 
               
                             ELAINE
               Nothing, I wasn't just moving my arms...
 
               
               
                             RAQUEL
               That's it, you are going down.

               
                             COP#1
               Ooh, cat fight.

               ----------------------------------------------------

               
               (The New York Hospital. Jerry and Kramer.)

               
                             KRAMER
               So how's George?

               
                             JERRY
               I don't know. They don't tell me anything. 
               What's that? (Kramer holds a broken 
               Tony)
 
               
                             KRAMER
               Tony.

               
                             JERRY
               What happened to you?

               
                             KRAMER
               Raquel Welch!

               
                             JERRY
               Yikes.

               
               (Elaine comes. She has a scars on her face.)

               
                             JERRY
               What happened to you?

               
                             ELAINE
               Raquel Welch!

               
                             KRAMER
               The woman is a menace.

               
                             ELAINE
               Yeah, I bumped in to her on the street. 
               It got pretty ugly.
 
               
                             JERRY
               Cat fight with Raquel Welch.

               
                             KRAMER
               Yey eye ca-catfight.

               
               (George is wheeled in on a hospital bed.)

               
                             ELAINE
               My god, George!

               
                             GEORGE
               I slipped on the invitations...how's 
               the towels?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Back on the rack.

               
                             GEORGE
               With the two of us?

               
                             JERRY
               I think we're still a man short.

               
               (Doctor comes.)

               
                             DOCTOR
               Mr. Costanza. ..your legs have sustained 
               extensive trauma. Apparently your body 
               was in the state of advanced atrophy, 
               due to a period of extreme inactivity.
 
               
               But with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, I think 
               there's a good chance you may, one day, walk again.
 
               
               (Doctor leaves.)

               
                             KRAMER
               Well, that's good news.

               
                             ELAINE
               Wow, invitations again...

               
                             KRAMER
               Yeah, that's weird.

               
                             ELAINE
               All right, well...you want to grab some 
               coffee?
 
               
                             JERRY
               Yeah...

               
                             KRAMER
               I'd like to get some coffee.

               
               (Jerry, Kramer and Elaine leave.)

               
                             GEORGE
               This was supposed to be 'The summer 
               of George'! The summer of George.
 
               
               
               
               (George is at the hospital physical therapy, trying to walk, 
               leaning on parallel bars. Next to him, Sam tries to walk with 
               swinging her arms.)
 
               
                             THERAPIST
               Now, swing them...swing...swing them, 
               just swing them.
 
               
                             SAM
               I can't do it. It's hard!

               
               (George is at end of the bars and falls down. He tries to get 
               up.)
 
               
                             GEORGE
               Still a little summer left.

               
               
                            THE END





The Summer of George



Writers :   Alec Berg  Jeff Schaffer
Genres :   Comedy


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