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                                     "SOUTH PARK"


                                     Episode 711


                                    "CASA BONITA"


                                      Written by 


                                     Trey Parker





               [Stan's house, day. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman watch TV from the 
               couch. Cartman is eating a bowl of chips]
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Maybe he caught a disease and died. 
                         That'd be so awesome.
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude that's not funny. You shouldn't 
                         joke about that.
 
                                     KENNY
                         (Yeah.)

                                     CARTMAN
                         Who's joking? 

                                     KYLE
                          You guys! You guys! I have awesome 
                         news!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         You have AIDS?

                                     KYLE
                         No. This Saturday, for my birthday, 
                         my Mom says she's takin' me to Casa 
                         Bonita, in Denver, and I get to invite 
                         three friends!.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Wow! Casa Bonita?!

                                     KENNY
                          (Woohoo!)

                                     STAN
                         What's Casa Bonita?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Dude, haven't you ever been there?! 
                         It's a big Mexican restaurant where 
                         they have, like, cliff jumpers and Black 
                         Bart's Cave and  all kinds of stuff!
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         It's like the Disneyland of Mexican 
                         restaurants.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         This Saturday! Awesone!  Casa Bonita! 
                         Casa Bonita! Food and fun in a festive 
                         atmosphere.  Casa Bonita!
 
                                     KYLE
                         Who said I'm inviting you? 

                                     CARTMAN
                         You... your Mom said you could take 
                         three friends.
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yes. Three friends. You're not my friend.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Wuh ih uh... Weh come on, Kyle, who 
                         the hell else are you gonna take besides 
                         Stan and Kenny?
 
                                     KYLE
                         I'm gonna take Butters. He invited me 
                         to his birthday party last month, so 
                         I owe him one.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Butters?! You're gonna take THAT butthole?! 
                         Why?!
 
                                     KYLE
                         Because Butters isn't a total dick to 
                         me!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I have never been a dick to you.

                                     KYLE
                          Oh please! All you ever do is call 
                         me names and rip on me for being Jewish!
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Kyle, when have I ever ripped on you 
                         for being a Jew?
 
                                     KYLE
                         

               [in the playground. Craig is there instead of Kenny] Oh yeah?! 
               Well you're a stupid Jew!
 
               [in the playground, by the school's back doors] You're a Jew!
 
               
               [in Cartman's room. Cartman is wearing a crown] Shut your God-damned 
               Jew mouth!
 
               [at Kyle's house, on the front steps] Good job, Jew!

               [singing the Dreidl song with Kyle's family and Stan] Jew...
 
               
               [leaving his seat in class] Shutup Jew!

               [at Cartman's house, with outfits] You're Jewish!!

               [seated on a curb with the other boys] Dude, he's Jewish!

               [staking out a house] Jew!

               [on Nightline, seated next to Stan] Jew!

               [in Cartman's dining room] Jew!

               [at the side of a road, with Tweek and with their parents] Jew!
 
               
               [next to stacks of lumber, as Kyle is about to whack him] Jew!
 
               
               [at a barn, through a hole on the roof] Jew!

               [Stan's room. Kyle reads a Bible] Jew?!

               [At the Costa Rican rainforest, during practice] "I told you 
               Jewish people don't have rhythm." "Fuck off, Cartman"
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Okay, except maybe for that one time.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         You've always been a dick to me, Cartman, 
                         and I'm not inviting you. 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Kyle, you don't understand! Casa Bonita 
                         is my most favorite place  in the whole 
                         world. I'll just, I'll just die if you 
                         don't take me! Please! 
 
                                     KYLE
                          Sorry, my mind's made up.

                                     CARTMAN
                          Well fuck you, Kyle!! I don't wanna 
                         go to your faggy birthday party anyway! 
                         I'd much rather hang out at home than 
                         have to be around you and your Jew mom 
                         for a day!  Kiss my ball, asshole!! 
                          Dude, I totally didn't mean that, Kyle. 
                         Ah I really really wanna go to Casa 
                         Bonita. I'm sorry we had that fight 
                         just now. You know, I mean, I said some 
                         things, you said some things, but, I 
                         think it was good and we we've moved 
                         past it.
 
                                     KYLE
                         I'm not inviting you to Casa Bonita.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                          Well fuck you, Kyle!! I hope you die! 
                         I hope you fucking die! 
 
               [Cartman's house, night. Cartman sleeps...]

                                     CARTMAN
                         Casa Bonita! Come on, you guys!  Oh, 
                         awesome!!  Come on, you guys! Black 
                         Bart's Cave!  Wow, cliff divers!  More 
                         sopapillas, please! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         I'm not inviting you, Cartman. You can't 
                         go.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          No! Noooo!  Casa Bonita! Noooo!  AAAAH!! 
                          Oh... God-damnit, I have to get invited 
                         to go! I'm just gonna have to start 
                         being nice to Kyle!
 
               [Kyle's house, next day. Cartman approaches the front door in 
               a nice sweater and rings the bell. Kyle answers]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Hi Kyle. 

                                     KYLE
                          That isn't it, Cartman.

                                     CARTMAN
                         What isn't it?

                                     KYLE
                         That's not being nice! That's just putting 
                         on a nice sweater!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         ...I don't understand the difference.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         I know you don't. 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Jimmy! Hey Jimmy, wait up!  Dude, uh 
                         I need your help on something.
 
                                     JIMMY
                         Well, sure, Eric. W-w-waht seems to 
                         be the p-p-p-prrroblem?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Well, everybody likes you, Jimmy, a-and 
                         you seem to be really good with people, 
                         so, I was wondering if you could tell 
                         me, how "do" you act nice to people?
 
                         
                                     JIMMY
                         Well, the best thing is not to act nice, 
                         Eric. Uh, the best thing is to be genuinely 
                         nice.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Okay, so how do you act genuinely nice 
                         to people?
 
                                     JIMMY
                         Well, Eric, pah part of being nice is 
                         just making people smile and laugh. 
                         The best way to do that is by telling 
                         a fan-tastic joke or a humorius anti-d- 
                         ant'duhh ...antecdote.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Like what?

                                     JIMMY
                         Well, like, try this one on for size: 
                         Knock knock.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Who's there?

                                     JIMMY
                         Ing-mar ...Bergman.  Now you say, "Ingmar 
                         Bergman who?" 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Take that, Jimmy!  And that! And don't 
                         you ever talk bad about Kyle again! 
                          Kyle is my friend! And if you say you 
                         had sex with his mom one more time, 
                         I'm gonna really let you have it! You 
                         hear me?!  Oh, Kyle. Hey.
 
                                     KYLE
                         Do you really think that beating up 
                         a handicapped kid is being nice? 
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Uh...  He-hey Kyle! Knock knock.  Knock 
                         knock, Kyle!
 
               [The school cafeteria. Cartman is looking at a picture. A tear 
               wells up in his left eye. The picture's frame reads "I Had A 
               Good Time at CASA BONITA," and the picture within is one of Cartman, 
               his mom, and the mariachis in the background. He hears Kyle's 
               excited voice.]
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yeah, Casa Bonita, this Saturday! 
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wow, that's gonna be so fun!

                                     STAN
                         Yeah, it'll be awesome. Just the four 
                         of us.
 
                                     KENNY
                         (Yeah!) 

               [The school hall, the bell rings. Red and Jordan walk one way, 
               Kyle and Craig the opposite way. Keven opens up his locker. Kyle 
               stops at his locker, and Cartman walks up]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Hey Kyle.

                                     KYLE
                         Well?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Well what?

                                     KYLE
                         How are you going to try to get invited 
                         to Casa Bonita this time?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I'm not, Kyle. I know you already told 
                         Butters he could go.
 
                                     KYLE
                         Oh. Well... yeah. I, I did.

                                     CARTMAN
                         So, fine, Kyle, but honestly, I never 
                         meant to make you feel like you didn't 
                         matter at all to me. I know we argue 
                         all the time and I give you tons of 
                         crap, but we've also been through a, 
                         a lot together, and... maybe that alone 
                         doesn't make us friends, but it makes 
                         us something. So, ...whatever, you know, 
                         just... ah I hope... things will be 
                         cool.
 
                                     KYLE
                         I'm still not inviting you to Casa Bonita.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         I know, Kyle. I'll see ya later. 

                                     KYLE
                         Eh... hey, Cartman?  You really don't 
                         care that you can't go?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I care, sure, but I hope it doesn't 
                         mean you and me and Stan and Kenny can't 
                         hang out anymore.
 
                                     KYLE
                         That's exactly what I wanted to hear 
                         from you all along. Ah uh I still have 
                         to take Butters, but... I hope things 
                         can be cool too.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Good.

                                     KYLE
                         And, and hey, if for some reason Butters 
                         can't go to Casa Bonita, you can take 
                         his place.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Sweet, whatever.  Bingo!

               [Cartman's house, Friday night. Cartman leads Butters into his 
               bedroom]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         What's this all about, Eric?

                                     CARTMAN
                          Butters, can you keep a secret?

                                     BUTTERS
                         Well, sure I can!

                                     CARTMAN
                         For the past five days I've been looking 
                         out into space for a school project. 
                         This morning, at 3:45 a.m. I... caught 
                         first sight of something terrible.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Nnn-how terrible?

                                     CARTMAN
                         A meteor. A meteor the size of Wyoming, 
                         heading right for earth.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         What?? 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Now look, ah I could be wrong. I ...pray 
                         that I'm wrong, but, I just want you 
                         to take a look and... see what you think. 
                          Do you see anything?
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         I just see stars. 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Keep looking. Sometimes it takes your 
                         eyes a minute to adjust.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Nope, uh I don't see any...  Oh wait. 
                         Oh my God! I see it. I see it! It's 
                         a meteor! Oh my God!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh my God! Does it look like it's getting 
                         closer? 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         It is! It is getting clsoer! Oh my God!
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh my God! That meteor is the size of 
                         Wyoming and it's on a collision course 
                         for Earth.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         When do you think uh it'll get here?
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         I, I don't know, I, have to do some 
                         calculations.  10 to the power of 1 
                         base 9 divided by pi plus 5 minus 3. 
                         Oh Jesus.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         What??

                                     CARTMAN
                         According to my calculations, that meteor 
                         is going to hit Earth in less than four 
                         hours.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh, you mean we're gonna die?!

                                     CARTMAN
                         No! No, Butters, we are going to live! 
                         Do you hear me?! We are going to live! 
                         We just... We've gotta find a bomb shelter!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wha...? Where is there a bomb shelter??
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Stan's Uncle Jimbo! He has a bomb shelter 
                         in his back yard! Come on, Butters! 
                         Hurry! 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         AAAAHH! 

               [Jimbo's house. Cartman and Butters head for the bomb shelter]
 
               
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh Jeez!

                                     CARTMAN
                         Here we go! The bomb shelter's down 
                         here! 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh God! Oh Jesus! 

                                     CARTMAN
                          All right, we should be safe in here. 
                         This dried food and water should last 
                         us for weeks.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         But what about everyone else? I have 
                         to tell my parents so they can come 
                         here, too.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         No! Butters! I can't let you risk it. 
                         I'll go up and get the others.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Are you sure?

                                     CARTMAN
                          I'm not sure of anythng anymore.  Now 
                         Butters, listen: No matter what happens, 
                         no matter what you hear, do not come 
                         out! If I don't make it back in time 
                         with the others, then it will be up 
                         to you to repopulate the Earth.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         But I'm the only one down here. What 
                         am I supposed to repopulate with?
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Well, you know, with your wiener.  Just 
                         stay down here until you hear word from 
                         me. And... pray, Butters... pray for 
                         all mankind. 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh God, oh God!

               [Kyle's house, Saturday night. Stan and Kenny are dressed in 
               stripes, Sheila waits in a fur coat, Kyle is in his Sunday best 
               checkig his watch]
 
                                     KYLE
                         Where is Butters? We were supposed to 
                         leave here forty minutes ago.
 
                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Well I think we better just go without 
                         him, Kyle. It's getting late.
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yeah, screw him. Let's go.  Oh, finally! 
                         
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Happy Birthday, Kyle. I just wanted 
                         to stop by and give you your present.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Oh. Thanks, dude.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Hope you have a good one. See you later. 
                         
 
                                     KYLE
                         Oh wait. Cartman.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Yes?

                                     KYLE
                         Uh Butters didn't show. You wanna go 
                         to Casa Bonita with us?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Butters didn't show? I I can't believe 
                         it. Uh are you sure you told him the 
                         right time and everything?
 
                                     KYLE
                         I told him 5:30 and we gotta get going. 
                         You in?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Well I... really would need to go home 
                         first and get my... Weh no no, I guess 
                         I have everything I need. Oh, okay, 
                         sure.
 
                                     KYLE
                         All right, let's go.

                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                          Okay, boys. Get in the car.

                                     CARTMAN
                          Casa Bonita, here we come! Casa Bonita! 
                         Casa Bonita!
 
                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                          Oh, hello Chris, Linda.

                                     CHRIS
                          Hello everyone. Have any of you seen 
                         our son?
 
                                     KYLE
                         Butters was supposed to go with us to 
                         Casa Bonita tonight.
 
                                     CHRIS
                         We know, but... he hasn't been home 
                         since last night. The police have been 
                         looking everywhere, but...  Well, thank 
                         you. Uh, please, let us know if you 
                         find out anything. 
 
                                     LINDA
                         Oh Butters!

                                     KYLE
                         Aw dude, weak.

                                     CARTMAN
                          Yeah. Man, that sucks about Butters. 
                          Well, let's get going, shall we?
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Nah. Dude, I c-I can't go to have a 
                         birthday party while Butters is missing.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Yeah, it's kinda weird.

                                     CARTMAN
                          Ee-yeah yeah. I think you're right, 
                         but, on the other hand, I think Butters 
                         would want us to go. You know Butters...
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Nah, I can't. We should help look for 
                         him.
 
                                     STAN
                         Yeah.

                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         That's very good of you, boys. We can 
                         postpone Casa Bonita until next Saturday.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Next Saturday?? I'll never be able to 
                         keep Butters in the...  In the... depths 
                         of my heart for that long. I sure hope 
                         he... turns up before then.
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude, we should check over at Stark's 
                         Pond. Butters always hangs out over 
                         there. 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yeah. And then we can try the football 
                         field. 
 
                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         I'll drive you boys. 

                                     CARTMAN
                          Oh, God-damnit! How am I gonna keep 
                         Butters down in that bomb shelter for 
                         a whole week?!
 
               [South Park, Sunday. In front of the police station, Officer 
               Barbrady stands by while one of his men issues the report to 
               the crowd standing before the dais.]
 
                                     CAPTAIN
                         All right, folks, this is the little 
                         boy we're looking for:  Leopold Stotch, 
                         also known as Butters. He's been missing 
                         for two days and was last seen at the 
                         school. Let's go find him.
 
               [The bomb shelter. Butters has found the light switch and is 
               enjoying the rations stored on the shelves along the wall]
 
               
                                     BUTTERS
                          "Dried food rations. Add water to feed 
                         flavored square..."  Hello?  Hello??
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                          Butters!

                                     BUTTERS
                          Hwaaaah!!

                                     CARTMAN
                         Butters! Oh God, it was... It was horrible!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wuh, wait, well, what happened??

                                     CARTMAN
                          The meteor... struck the Earth sooner 
                         than I predicted. There was no time... 
                         no time...
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         What about my parents. Did you see them?
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         There was mass confusion! Pa... panic! 
                         People were crawling all over each other 
                         in the streets! It was... awful! When 
                         it hit, millions were evaporated instantly. 
                         The rest of us... walking around in 
                         a... cloud of... toxic... radiation. 
                         
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh my God, let me see!

                                     CARTMAN
                         No Butters!! If you come up, you'll 
                         get infected too! You best wait for 
                         the radiatino level to go down. Probably... 
                         next week sometime. After Saturday. 
                         Ugh...
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          How many survivors are there? You should 
                         all come down here.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         We can't come down there, or else, we'll 
                         contaminate you, Butters. No... we just 
                         have to survive the best we can. 
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wow... Eric, I can never thank you enough 
                         for everything you've done for me.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Thank me by living, Butters. Live. And... 
                         rebuild.  I've got to go. Remember, 
                         wait one week for the toxic levels to 
                         go down. On Saturday.  G-goodbye!  All 
                         right. Just six days, Butters. Sit tight.
 
                         
               [Police station, night. News 4 is covering another announcement 
               by the police]
 
                                     FIELD REPORTER
                         Tom, it has now been three days since 
                         the Stotch child has gone missing. Townspeople 
                         continue to search, but hope... is dwindling.
 
                         
                                     CAPTAIN
                         All right, folks. I wanna thank you 
                         for all your efforts. Three days is 
                         a long time, but we've got to keep going 
                         if we're gonna find him.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Heh you're not going to find him. Not 
                         until after Saturday when I go to Casa 
                         Bonita. 
 
                                     CAPTAIN
                         Many times in cases like these a child 
                         can trap themselves. It is important 
                         that we spread our search to duct pipes, 
                         wells, and bomb shelters. 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         What what what?

                                     CAPTAIN
                         I say we need to move the search to 
                         ducts, wells, and bomb shelters. Let's 
                         move out, people! Every second counts! 
                         
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         UUuuugh!! 

                                     BUTTERS
                         But if you leave me now, you'll take 
                         away the biggest part of me.
 
               Oo-oo-ooooo-oo girl, baby please don't go. Eh,

               Oo-oo-ooooo-oo girl-

               [the shelter lid opens again] Eric? [rises and looks up the shaft] 
               Eric, is that you?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Oh God! They're coming! They're coming! 
                         We'be gotta get out of here! They're 
                         coming this way!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Who's coming this way?

                                     CARTMAN
                         The cannibals! Don't you know? The meteor 
                         destroyed all of society, Butters. Now 
                         Earth is ruled by packs of wild humans 
                         gone mad! Those of us who survived are 
                         now being hunted by flesh-starved cannibals!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh God! I hate cannibals!

                                     CARTMAN
                         They're coming this way! I can hear 
                         them coming. They'll find you down here 
                         for sure. And when they do, they'll 
                         eat you alive.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Noooo!

                                     CARTMAN
                         We've gotta get you out of here! Come 
                         on! Oh oh no wait, I forgot! The toxic 
                         radiation! Hey wait! We can use this 
                         box!  There we go. This should keep 
                         you protected from the toxins.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         But I can't see nothin'.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Believe me, Butters, you don't wanna 
                         see what's up there. Now come on. I'll 
                         guide you to a safer location.  There 
                         you go. Two more steps and you're at 
                         the top.  Good.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Are we out in the destruction?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Yes. There's nothing but smoldering 
                         bodies all around you. Burnt out buildings, 
                         and what used to be our town.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Aw man.

                                     CARTMAN
                         All right, this way, Butters. Just follow 
                         the sound of my voice. 
 
               [An open field, night. Butters and Cartman are walking through 
               the field behind a row of houses, far enough away so that no 
               sound can reach them]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Right now we're walking by what used 
                         to be people's houses, now just smoldering 
                         burnt piles of rubble.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Huh... Oh, it's terrible.

                                     CARTMAN
                         We're coming now to the crater where 
                         the meteor hit. A hole in the Earth 
                         over two miles in diameter.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Whoa!

               [The old gas station]

                                     CARTMAN
                         Here we are at the old gas station. 
                         It survived a lot of the impact. We 
                         might be safe here.  Oh my God!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Whaaat??

                                     CARTMAN
                         It's a cannibal! Stay back, cannibal! 
                         
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         AAAAHH!

                                     CARTMAN
                         We've got to fight them off!  Stay away 
                         from Butters! He's humanity's last hope! 
                          Awww! He bit me! He bit off my hand!!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Waaaaaah!

                                     CARTMAN
                          Aw man, he's eating my hand like a 
                         piece of chicken! Can you hear the bones 
                         crack? 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Ooohhhh!

                                     CARTMAN
                         Wait! Look here! There's a dead body 
                         with an axe in the back. I'll pull out 
                         the axe and use it to chop off the cannibal's 
                         head. Hunh!  Die! 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Ooooh, what happened? What happened?!
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                          The cannibal! The cannibal's dead, 
                         Butters! But he bit me,  which means 
                         soon I will have a taste for human flesh 
                         as well.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh no!

                                     CARTMAN
                         We have no choice, Butters! We have 
                         to lock you away somewhere where even 
                         I can't get to you!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Uh w-where??

                                     CARTMAN
                         Look! There's an old refrigerator!  
                         Get inside, Butters! I'll break off 
                         the handle so nobody can get to you!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Aren't you coming?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Too late for me. I can already feel 
                         my... body start to... change.  No! 
                         Must... fight... it... Don't open this 
                         door for anybody, Butters! No matter 
                         what you hear, stay inside for four 
                         days! Here's some water and food from 
                         the shelter.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Eric, you're the ...best friend in the 
                         whole world. I... I love you.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I love you too, man. I just  You look 
                         so delicious! Must eat your brains! 
                         
 
               [South Park, next day. Cartman is happily asleep in his bed and 
               his alarm goes off.]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Hah!  It's Wednesday! It's Wednesday! 
                          Only three more days till Casa Bonita. 
                          I'm gonna go through Black Bart's Cave 
                         first. No! I'm gonna watch the cliff 
                         divers first! Maybe if I tell them it's 
                         my birthday, they'll let me cliff-dive 
                         in the pool!  Oh, that would be so bad-ass!
 
                         
               [Park County Trash Dump, night. The refrigerator is now there 
               and begins to heave. Butters kicks his way out of it, having 
               run out of air]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Finally I can breathe a-  Oh my God. 
                         Oh my God, the meteor took out everything! 
                         It's all destroyed. Nothingn left.  
                         Hello? Are there any, are there any 
                         other survivors? Hello? Oh. That must 
                         have been where the library was. And 
                         that was probably the school. Hello? 
                          Oh. I forgot, I gotta watch out for 
                         readioactive cannibals.  Is that a cannibal? 
                         Sir? Ma'am?  Oh. Aww, it's a little 
                         dog.  Well, hello there, Mr. Dog. Looks 
                         like you and me are the only ones who 
                         survive the meteor, heh. We should stick 
                         together, huh, Mr. Dog? Well come on, 
                         we gotta start cleanin' up this mess, 
                         and rebuild this civilization. Boy, 
                         that meteor sure did make everything 
                         stinky. 
 
               [South Park, day. On the highway, Sheila drives the boys towards 
               their destination. All the boys are now wearing suits instead 
               of sweaters. Stan, Cartman, and Kenny sit in the back seat]
 
               
                                     CARTMAN
                         We're on our way to Casa Bonita! We're 
                         gonna be there very soon. You're gonna 
                         love Casa Bonita, Stan. There, there's 
                         this one part where you can dress up 
                         in Old Western clothes and get your 
                         photo taken in a fake jail.
 
                                     STAN
                         Really?

                                     KYLE
                         Yeah, it's pretty cool.

                                     CARTMAN
                          "Pretty cool." So, um, should we go 
                         to Black Bart's Cave first or watch 
                         the puppet show? I think we should go 
                         through Black Bart's Cave right away 
                         'cause, we're gonna wanna do it seven 
                         or eight times. And then we'll watch 
                         the cliff divers before the puppet show.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Dude, it's Kyle's birthday. We should 
                         do whatever he wants to do.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         What? Fuck Kyle.  Ha ha, j-just kidding, 
                         birthday joke. Of course we'll do whatever 
                         Kyle wants, uh. Happy Birthday, Kyle.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         Happy Birthday to you. Happy- 

                                     STAN, CARTMAN, KENNY
                         Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear 
                         Kyle. Happy Birthday to you. .
 
               [Park County Trash Dump, day. A worker drives into the dump in 
               her truck and pulls out stuffed trash bags from the truck bed.]
 
               
                                     BUTTERS
                          You take away the biggest part of me. 
                          Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, uh baby please 
                         don't go.  Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, I just 
                         had to find my say to you tan...
 
                                     WORKER
                         Hello? 

                                     BUTTERS
                          HAAAAGH! Who are you? Are you infected?
 
                         
                                     WORKER
                         With what?

                                     BUTTERS
                         You're not a cannibal, are you?

                                     WORKER
                         No

                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh.  Oh good. You're a survivor, like 
                         me. Look, Mr. Dog, another survivor. 
                         And it's a lady, too. That means we 
                         can repopulate the earth. Yippee!
 
                         
                                     WORKER
                         Kid, what are you doin' here?

                                     BUTTERS
                         I'm rebuilding society. Here, take a 
                         look.  This is the library, and over 
                         here is the bank. That over there I'm 
                         thinking into a P.F. Chang's or a Bennigan's. 
                         And this  is a memorial to Eric Cartman, 
                         the person who gave his life so that 
                         I could rebuild society. Well ma'am, 
                         I guess we should start repopulatin' 
                         the earth, huh?  I'm ready whenever 
                         you are.
 
                                     WORKER
                         Kid, I don't know what you think is 
                         going on, but this place is a dump.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Hey, that's not very nice! This is my 
                         first society! I'm doin' my best!
 
                         
                                     WORKER
                         No, I mean you're at the garbage dump. 
                         The town is right over there, everybody 
                         is fine, and I think they've been looking 
                         for you for over a week.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh...  Ma'am, can I use your phone?
 
                         
               [Casa Bonita, night. Sheila pulls into a parking space]

                                     CARTMAN
                         We're here! We're here! Casa Bonita! 
                          Aw man, this is gonna be so great!
 
                         
                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Wait up, Eric. We need to stay together. 
                          Uh, hold on boys, that's my cell phone. 
                          Hello? Yes. Oh, that's great!  Boys, 
                         they found Butters.  He's okay.
 
                                     KYLE
                         Oh, awesome.

                                     STAN
                         I knew he'd turn up.

                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Yes, Eric Cartman is with us. Why?  
                         Oh really? 
 
                                     KYLE
                         What?

                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Yes, I will certainly let him know. 
                         Thank you.  Well, it appears that Eric 
                         here is responsible for Butters missing, 
                         because he wanted to go to Casa Bonita. 
                         
 
                                     KYLE
                         What?

                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Eric, the South Park Police are already 
                         on their way here to have a little talk 
                         with you!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         But... Casa Bonita.

                                     KYLE
                          I should have known better! You never 
                         cared about my birthday at all!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          But I...  but...  Stand back!

                                     STAN
                         Cartman, stop it!

                                     CARTMAN
                          I... am going... to Casa... Bonita! 
                         
 
                                     KYLE
                         It's too late, fatass.  They'll be here 
                         in less than a minute.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         \ Ah! Eh. Nuh!  Less than a minute! 
                         Less than a minute!
 
                                     
                          Cartman!

               [Casa Bonita, inside. Cartman races into the restaurant]

                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh, awesome!!  Excuse me, excuse me? 
                         Can I get to eat some of your-  Thank 
                         you. Thank you.  Oh, I've got to get 
                         to Black Bart's Cave!  Ah! Excuse me? 
                         Excuse me! Coming through to Black Bart's 
                         Cave!  Oh!  Oh, scary! Look, a skeleton! 
                          Oh man, I'm so scared!  Oh! Oh! Oh, 
                         that was awesome! Oh! Oh! Cliff divers! 
                          Come on! Come on, dive!  Dive, asshole! 
                          Oh, awesome! That was cool, huh?  Whoa. 
                          Sopapillas! Can I get some sopapillas 
                         please?!  Sweeet!  Oh! Booth! Puppet 
                         show! Puppet show! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Cartman! 

                                     CAPTAIN
                         All right, kid! End of the line!

                                     CARTMAN
                          Ah.  Uh.  Yeeeesss!

                                     KYLE
                         Jesus Christ! 

                                     CAPTAIN
                         Well kid, you made an entire town panic, 
                         you lost all your friends, and now you're 
                         going to Juvenile Hall for a week! Huh, 
                         was it wirth it?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Totally. 

               THE END

Casa Bonita



Writers :   Trey Parker
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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