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                                     "SOUTH PARK"


                                     Episode 710


                                     "GREY DAWN"


                                      Written by 


                                     Trey Parker





               SOUTH PARK FARMER'S MARKET

               [Day. A crowd is gathered under this banner and listens to Father 
               Maxi as he delivers a service.]
 
                                     FATHER MAXI
                         Friends, we gather in this place to 
                         mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy: 
                         nine good people who were run over in 
                         the street by an elderly woman driver. 
                         
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          Oh God, memorial services are sooo 
                         boring.
 
                                     KYLE
                          You insensitive asshole, Cartman! Nine 
                         people died!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Yeah, but like, eight of them were hippies. 
                         Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets. 
                         Mostly
 
                                     FATHER MAXI
                         It is sometimes hard, in times like 
                         these, to understand God's way. Why 
                         would he allow nine innocent people 
                         to be run down in the prime of their 
                         lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps, 
                         shouldn't be driving? It is then that 
                         we must understand, God's sense of humor 
                         is very different from our own. He does 
                         not laugh at the simple "man walks into 
                         a bar" joke. No, God needs complex irony 
                         and subtle farcical twists that seem 
                         macabre to you and me. All that we can 
                         hope for is that God got his good laugh 
                         and a tragedy such as this will never 
                         happen again. 
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                          Look out!! 

                                     ELDERLY DRIVER
                          Huh? Was that a stop sign back there? 
                          Ooooh, I think I hit a pot hole.
 
                         
               [Stan's house, night. The family is eating dinner - tacos, nachos, 
               rice, milk]
 
                                     STAN
                         Hey Dad, how come they let old people 
                         drive?
 
                                     RANDY
                         Well, Stan, it's a very fragile issue.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         But they kill people.

                                     RANDY
                         Sometimes, yes, but senior citizens 
                         have to be dealt with very gingerly, 
                         Stan. We can't just take their licenses 
                         away.
 
                                     MARVIN
                          I'll be God-damned if they think they 
                         can take my license away! 
 
                                     SHARON
                         Oooh, hi Dad.

                                     MARVIN
                          I heard what you said! You wanna take 
                         drivin' privileges away from seniors! 
                         Well let me tell you something, peckerface! 
                         I worked fifty five years in the steel 
                         mill!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Yes Dad.

                                     MARVIN
                         And I flew Spitfires over Germany in 
                         World War II!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Yes I know.

                                     MARVIN
                         And I will be God-damned if the government 
                         thinks it can step in and take away 
                         my right to drive!
 
                                     STAN
                         I think old people should have rights, 
                         Grandpa. I just don't wanna die.
 
               [Stark's Pond, night. A lone man is fishing in the middle of 
               the pond. He senses something ominous and looks around. On the 
               road nearby, a brown Buick drives by slowly. A short old woman 
               is at the wheel]
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         Damnit Mona, this isn't the fastest 
                         way to Country Kitchen Buffet!
 
                                     MONA
                         No, but it's the shortest. I save the 
                         most gas that way. 
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         You save the most gas if you take the 
                         highway to Country Kitchen Buffet!
 
                         
                                     MONA
                         Less miles means less gas, you old fool. 
                         
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         There's Country Kitchen right there!
 
                         
                                     MONA
                         Where?

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         Right there! You're gonna miss it! 
 
                         
                                     MONA
                         Is this the parking lot?

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         I think so.

               [News 4. A splash screen shows various correspondents and anchors, 
               and a globe spins in front of the montage]
 
                                     ANCHOR
                         Another death tonight by a senior citizen 
                         motorist. Carl Zorn of Pine Junction 
                         was killed instantly when struck by 
                         a vehicle driven by Pete and Lydia Malman, 
                         who were trying to find Country Kitchen 
                         Buffet. This latest tragedy comes only 
                         two days after the accident in Deer 
                         Creek, where three construction workers 
                         and a bulldozer  were run down by senior 
                         citizen Paul Thom , who was trying to 
                         find Country Kitchen Buffet. Public 
                         outcry is forcing the DMV to consider 
                         suspending the licenses of all seniors 
                         over seventy, though no decision has 
                         yet to be made.
 
               [Park County Community Center, day. The seniors have gathered 
               there for a meeting]
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Seniors of South Park, I don't know 
                         about you, but I am mad as hell!
 
                                     SENIORS
                          Yeah!

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 1
                          I'm sick of having my mental condition 
                         come into question!
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN 1
                          We need to let everyone know we're 
                         pissed off, and we're not gonna take 
                         it anymore!
 
                                     SENIORS
                          Yeah! Yeah! That's right, Pete!

                                     MARVIN
                         That's right! Now, ...can anybody remember 
                         what we're pissed off about?  Now, remember 
                         we're all pissed about something and 
                         uh... that's why we had this meeting, 
                         but I... can't for the life of me re-
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 2
                          Oooo. Was it the kids skateboarding 
                         on the sidewalks? No? 
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN 2
                          Oh, I remember! They're gonna take 
                         our licenses away!
 
                                     SENIORS
                          Yeah! Yeah! That's right!

                                     MARVIN
                         That's right! They're gonna try and 
                         take our licenses away! And I, for one, 
                         am mad as hell!
 
                                     SENIORS
                          Me too! Yeah, that's right! And mine 
                         too!
 
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 1
                         I'm sick of having my mental condition 
                         come into question!
 
                                     MARVIN
                         So now, what are we gonna do about it?
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY MAN 3
                         Do about what?

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 3
                         They're gonna take our licenses away.
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 1
                         They are?? They can't do that! 

                                     MARVIN
                         That's right. So you know what I think 
                         we should do? I think we should have 
                         a senior citizens' meeting! Get all 
                         the senior together a the community 
                         center and unite!
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN 3
                         Great idea, Marvin!

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 4
                         Wait, ah I think we're having that meeting 
                         right now.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         ...Oh, right, this is the meeting.
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY MAN 4
                         Right. To get those damn kids to stop 
                         skateboarding on the sidewalks!
 
                                     SENIORS
                          Yeah! Yeah! That's right! Someone's 
                         gotta stop them!
 
               [The Marsh house, day. Sharon and Shelley are making construction 
               paper cutouts in the kitchen. Shelley has finished some eyes]
 
               
                                     RANDY
                          Sharon, have you seen Dad?

                                     SHARON
                         He's not here, hun. He's having a meeting 
                         with all the seniors in town at the 
                         community center.
 
                                     RANDY
                         Oh.  Wait a minute. If all the seniors 
                         in town are at a meeting, that means 
                         that when the meeting gets out...
 
                         
                                     SHARON
                         Every senior in town will be driving 
                         home...
 
                                     RANDY
                          At the same time.  Oh My God!

               [Downtown South Park. People are milling around. Randy runs into 
               the scene]
 
                                     RANDY
                         Get inside! Get inside!  Seniors' meeting 
                         getting out! Get off the streets! 
 
                         
                                     SOMEONE
                         Oh my Goddd!

               [Park County Community Center, day. The seniors exit the center 
               and head for their cars]
 
                                     MARVIN
                          All right, great meeting everyone. 
                         Let's do it again sometime.
 
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 1
                         So long, everybody.

                                     ELDERLY MAN 5
                         Goodbye, Missy. 

               [Downtown South Park, at the farmer's market. Randy runs in]
 
               
                                     RANDY
                         Get off the streets! Get off the streets! 
                         Old people are driving!  Gerald! Where 
                         are the boys?!
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         We've gotta get out of here!

                                     RANDY
                         The boys, Gerald! Where are they?!
 
                         
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         They, they're... they're playing street 
                         hockey!
 
                                     RANDY
                          Oh My God!! 

               [The neighborhood. Stan and the boys are playing street hockey. 
               Cartman is the goalie, a trashcan his goal]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          With just ten seconds to go, the offense 
                         makes its move. Marsh heads for the 
                         goal and paases the ball to the poor 
                         kid. The poor kid hands it out to the 
                         Jew! The Jew shoots. Awww, and the shot 
                         is blocked again , proving once and 
                         for all that Jews cannot play hockey!
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         It isn't fair. Cartman's fatter than 
                         the goal.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I'm not fat. I just have a sweet hockey 
                         body.
 
                                     RANDY
                          GET OFF THE STREETS!  GET OFF THE STREETS! 
                         
 
                                     KYLE
                         Dude, look!

                                     RANDY
                          GET OFF... THE STREETS! GET OFF THE 
                         STREETS!
 
                                     STAN
                         What is that?

                                     KYLE
                         I don't know.

                                     RANDY
                          GET OFF... GET STRAIGHT OFF THE STREET!
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Dude, is that your dad?

                                     STAN
                         I think so.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Looks like Stan's dad's been hittin' 
                         the bottle again.
 
                                     RANDY
                         -STREETS!! OFF-

                                     STAN
                         What is he saying?

                                     KYLE
                         I can't understand him.

                                     RANDY
                         GAAAAAH!!

                                     CARTMAN
                          Calm down! We cannot understand you!
 
                         
                                     KENNY
                          (Ohhhhh, look!)  (You guys!)

                                     STAN
                          Oh Jesus!

                                     CARTMAN
                         Old people!

                                     RANDY
                          Come on! 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh God, they're coming! 

               [The Lodge. The group enters, Randy shuts and blocks the doors]
 
               
                                     RANDY
                         Get over there! Stay low! 

                                     KYLE
                         Why are they all out driving at the 
                         same time?
 
                                     RANDY
                         Shhhh!  It's okay, boys. They're gone. 
                         Let's just lay low for a minute until 
                         we can find-  AWWWW!!
 
                                     ELDERLY DRIVER
                          I don't remember there being a building 
                         here.
 
                                     RANDY
                         RUN! 

                                     ELDERLY PASSENGER
                          I told you to turn left, Larry.

                                     RANDY
                         Get up the stairs! Up the stairs! Come 
                         on! Come on!! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Aah! There's another one!

                                     RANDY AND THE BOYS
                         AAAHH!!

                                     ELDERLY DRIVER
                          Excuse me, is this Costello Avenue? 
                         
 
                                     RANDY
                         In here! 

                                     CARTMAN
                         They're not gonna stop until we're all 
                         dead!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Quiet! Keep quiet! 

                                     STAN
                         Dad, I'm scared.

                                     RANDY
                         Just, keep your voices down. We'll stay 
                         the night in here. We'll stay the whole 
                         winter if we have to. 
 
                                     STAN
                         I'm not staying the winter in this room! 
                         We just need to tell old people they 
                         can't drive anymore!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Awgh. Stan, it's not that simple! Just 
                         relax while I find the lights. Here 
                         we go. 
 
                                     ELDERLY DRIVER
                         How the hell did we get up here?

                                     RANDY AND THE BOYS
                         AAAAAAAHH!! 

                                     ELDERLY PASSENGER
                         I told you this was the wrong way!
 
                         
               [News 4. A splash screen shows various correspondents and anchors, 
               and a globe spins in front of the montage]
 
                                     FIELD REPORTER
                         Tom, I'm standing outside of the Department 
                         of Motor Vehicles, where senior citizens 
                         have until three p.m. to hand over their 
                         driver's licenses. The new law was passed 
                         just three days after the Night of Horror, 
                         in which all seniors were out driving 
                         at the same time, causing fourteen deaths 
                         and three million dollars in damage.
 
                         
               [DMV, inside. A poster on the wall says "Drive 65 MPH. Stay alive." 
               Two men and a woman sit at a table taking the licenses seniors 
               standing in line give them.]
 
                                     DMV OFFICIAL
                          Alrighty.  There we go. Next? 

                                     ELDERLY MAN 2
                         It ain't right what you're doin'! I 
                         never had an accident in my life!
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 6
                         That's right. You shouldn't punish all 
                         of us. 
 
                                     DMV OFFICIAL
                         We're sorry, but this is the only way 
                         to be sure. Next please.  There we go.
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY MAN 6
                         But how am I supposed to get to the 
                         grocery store? Or the pharmacy to buy 
                         medicine?
 
                                     DMV OFFICIAL
                         Well, maybe you should be in a nursing 
                         home. Hmmm?
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN 7
                         Some of us would rather die!

                                     DMV OFFICIAL
                         Well, we can certainly help you with 
                         that, too.
 
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN 7
                         We aren't second-class citizens!

                                     ELDERLY MAN 8
                         That's right! You can take our licenses, 
                         but you'll never take our pride!
 
                                     AN ELDERLY MAN
                         Yeah...

               [Stan's house, day. The boys leave the house]

                                     CARTMAN
                         Ooooh, isn't this great you guys? Being 
                         able to walk the streets now that old 
                         people are confined to their homes where 
                         they belong?
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Billy, get in the car! I need you boys 
                         to help me pick up my new Hov-Around.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Uh, Grandpa, I don't think you should 
                         be driving.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         God-damnit Billy! You're supposed to 
                         listen to your dad, right?! Well I'm 
                         your dad's dad, and that means you get 
                         in this car before I tan all your hides!
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                          Well, look at it this way: statistically 
                         speaking, we're safer inside a car with 
                         an old person driving than outside.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         My God, he's right.  Hail Mary, full 
                         of grace, the Lord is with thee, even 
                         though I walk through the valley of 
                         death.  Guys, I don't know if I ever 
                         told you this, but, well, I love you 
                         guys.  Except for you, Kyle.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Okay, all set? 

                                     KENNY
                         (Oooooo my God!) 

                                     STAN
                         Ah, I think there's a police car behind 
                         you, Grandpa.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Eh?  Go around. Go around, you moron!
 
                         
                                     BARBRADY
                         Blue Impala, pull your vehicle over!
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         I believe that's us... thank God. 
 
                         
                                     BARBRADY
                         Could I see your license, please?

                                     MARVIN
                         I ain't got one! You peckers took it!
 
                         
                                     BARBRADY
                         Well then, I have to take you to jail.
 
                         
                                     MARVIN
                         You just try taking me to jail, scrotum-head! 
                         You just try!
 
               [The police jail. Marvin sits behind bars with a cane.]

                                     MARVIN
                         Stupid son of a- God damnit!

                                     BARBRADY
                         I just got him right here, Mr. Marsh.
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         Oh brother. Well, good job, dad! Look 
                         at you now!
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Oh God damnit, don't you lecture me 
                         you son of a bitch!
 
                                     RANDY
                         You just had to be so damn stubborn, 
                         didn't you?!
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Now my son is gonna talk to me like 
                         I'm twelve.
 
                                     RANDY
                         We're not treating you like children, 
                         Dad. All right? Now I think you owe 
                         Mr. Police Officer an apology. Who needs 
                         to apologize, hm?  Who's the sorry-sorry?
 
                         
                                     MARVIN
                         Kiss my sagging ass!

                                     RANDY
                         Well fine. I was gonna bail you out, 
                         but maybe you can just sit here for 
                         a bit and think about what you did!
 
                         
                                     MARVIN
                         Well I won't be sitting here long! I've 
                         already called the AARP!
 
                                     STAN
                         What's that?

                                     MARVIN
                         The American Association of Retired 
                         Persons! The largest political group 
                         in the country! When seniors like me 
                         are bein' descriminated against, the 
                         AARP comes and sets it right!  And you're 
                         gonna be sorry when they get here!
 
                         
               [Mr. Garrison's classroom, day. He's giving his class a history 
               lesson]
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         And so you see, children, Genghis Khan 
                         was a "Mongol," not to be confused with 
                         a "mongoloid" like the actor, Nicholas 
                         Cage. Okay now, who can tell me in what 
                          ...year ...the ...first ...film by 
                         a... mongoloid...  That's odd.  Those 
                         ROTC guys are way off course. 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         More old people!

                                     STAN
                         The American Association of Retired 
                         Persons.
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Stay in your seats, children. I'll be 
                         right back.
 
                                     AARP LEADER
                         Set up a perimeter! Bring Bravo Team 
                         to Point Delta!
 
                                     AARP MEMBER 1
                          Bravo Team is go.

                                     AARP MEMBER 2
                          Move! Move! Move!

                                     AARP MEMBER 3
                          Let's go! Let's go! 

                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Uh, can I help you folks find something? 
                          Oowww! 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Old people gone mad!

               [U.S. Geological Service. Randy sits at his desk making notes 
               when he hears the soft rustling of tarp on snow. He spins around 
               in his chair to see more AARP paratroopers. He rises in disbelief. 
               A gas canister flies through the window and unleashes its fumes. 
               Randy starts coughing. The door flies open and some AARP paratroopers 
               walk in wearing gas masks.]
 
                                     AARP MEMBER
                          Contact.  Put your hands up, young 
                         man!
 
               [South Park Jail. Marvin is looking out his small cell window 
               when the AARP enters the jail and approach the cell]
 
                                     AARP LEADER
                         Marvin Marsh?

                                     MARVIN
                          Yes?

                                     AARP LEADER
                         I'm Bill Stewart, President of the AARP. 
                         Hu-we've come to help the seniors in 
                         this town fight back.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Oh, it's nice to meet ya, Bill.

                                     STEWART
                         Huh?? We came as fast as we could. We 
                         just had to stop by Country Kitchen 
                         Buffet first.
 
               [Shady Acres, a Retirement Community. The AARP has arrived there]
 
               
                                     AARP LEADER
                          It's the nursing home! Liberate our 
                         comrades! 
 
               [Shady Acres, inside]

                                     MALE NURSE
                         There now, Mr. Johnson.  We can go to 
                         the cafeteroa amd get you some creamed 
                         corn and toast.  Can I help you?
 
                                     AARP LEADER
                         Help this!  The revolution is on, brother! 
                          We're taking control of the town!
 
                         
                                     MR. JOHNSON
                         Well, alright, well it's about damn 
                         time!  Hey everyone, we're taking the 
                         town. 
 
               [The televison room. More seniors there are watching TV]

                                     AARP MEMBER
                          Seniors, we're taking the town over.
 
                         
                                     AARP LEADER
                         The revolution is on! 

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN
                         The revolution?

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         Oh, I'd better get my other sweater. 
                         
 
               [A convalescent room]

                                     A NURSE
                          Mrs. Wyland, seniors are taking over 
                         the town. Would you like a gun?
 
                                     MRS. WYLAND
                         Oh, I suppose so.

               [Downtown South Park, day. One of the members brings Randy forward]
 
               
                                     RANDY
                         What the hell is going on?!

                                     AARP MEMBER
                         Shut your piehole and get over there! 
                         
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         Randy, what is this?

                                     STEWART
                         Hey! You are now under the authority 
                         of the AARP!
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Ha! There you go, Mr. Smartmouth! Look 
                         at you now!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Dad, what are you doing??

                                     MARVIN
                         The AARP is gonna help us take this 
                         town until we get our licenses back!
 
                         
                                     ELDERLY WOMAN
                          Yeah, and we're gonna ask for more 
                         money in Medi-Care, too!
 
                                     AARP LEADER
                          That's right.

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         Yeah.

                                     MAN IN VEST
                          Have you all got Alzheimer's? The-they're 
                         not gonna listen to a bunch of whacked 
                         out senior citizens.
 
                                     STEWART
                          Heh??  We'll tell them if they don't 
                         give us our demands, we'll start killin' 
                         hostages!
 
                                     MAN IN VEST
                         Huh, right. They're gonna really believe 
                         that. 
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Isn't that a little extreme, Bill?
 
                         
                                     STEWART
                          Heh??  No, we gotta be tough! Just 
                         like with those damned Japs!
 
                                     RANDY
                         This is insane, Dad! You all need to 
                         stop right now before morp people get 
                         hurt>
 
                                     MARVIN
                         The time when you can tell me what to 
                         do is over, pucky-boy! We're in charge 
                         now!
 
               [South Park, day. The town is now an encampment, protected by 
               barbed wire, sandbags, and metal shields. A woman with an IV 
               unit stands behind some sandbags]
 
                                     MARVIN
                         All right, we've got control of the 
                         Mayor's office and the fire station.
 
                         
                                     AARP MEMBER
                         Reinforcements have arrived from the 
                         nursing home in Conifer.
 
                                     STEWART
                         Good! Hell, us senior citizens could 
                         take over the entire country!
 
                                     AARP LOOKOUT
                          We've got company! 

                                     TANK DRIVER
                          Attention seniors: lay down your weapons 
                         and turns yourselves over!
 
                                     STEWART
                         Mrs. Applegate, show 'em we mean business.
 
                         
                                     MRS. APPLEGATE
                          All right. 

                                     TANK DRIVER
                         What do you want?

                                     STEWART
                          Heh??

                                     MARVIN
                         We want our licenses back!

                                     OTHER SENIORS
                         Yeah!

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN
                         That's right. And we want more money 
                         in Medi-Care!
 
                                     OTHER SENIORS
                         Yeah!

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         And we want those damned kids to stop 
                         skateboardin' on the sidewalk!
 
                                     OTHER SENIORS
                         Yeah!

               [Nighttime, the drive-in. All adults who are not senior citizens 
               have been gathered into an enclosure around the massive screen. 
               Two seniors stand guard at the gates, other seniors keep the 
               adults in line. The adults are cold. Some cough, some try to 
               keep warm by burning tires inside empty gas drums. Randy is one 
               of those warming his hands over a fire. He moans. The boys arrive, 
               having not been arrested]
 
                                     STAN
                         Hey Dad.

                                     RANDY
                          Stan! Boys! You're safe!

                                     STAN
                         Dad, why is everyone letting old people 
                         do this? Why doesn't somebody stop them?
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         They've tried to stop them, son, but... 
                         the seniors get up so early in the morning 
                         they... get everything done before everyone 
                         else is even awake!
 
                                     KYLE
                         They're saying something about taking 
                         over the entire country.
 
                                     RANDY
                          Yes. And now seeing how early they 
                         get up, I don't see how anyone can stop 
                         them. Wait a minute. You boys! You get 
                         up almost as early as they do! You can 
                         fight them!
 
                                     STAN
                         No. Come on, Dad. Can't you guys do 
                         it?
 
                                     RANDY
                         No, son. We... like to sleep in.

                                     AN ELDERLAY WOMAN
                         Two hostages come front and center! 
                         
 
                                     RANDY
                         They're coming!! Get out of here before 
                         they see you! Run to the hills and find 
                         a way to fight them! Go!!  Boys, avenger 
                         me! AVENGER ME!!
 
               [The woods. The boys have set up a little camp there for the 
               night.]
 
                                     STAN
                         All right, check it out. Kenny did reconnaissance 
                         on the town. The old people have blockades 
                         here  and here . The old ladies are 
                         keeping watch in towers around the perimeter, 
                         and the leaders along with my grandpa 
                         are most likely in the Mayor's office.
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         So our only solution is to cut off their 
                         life force.
 
                                     KYLE
                         We can't fight them, Cartman.

                                     CARTMAN
                         No. But we can sneak into town and shut 
                         down their food supply.  Here.
 
                                     KYLE
                          Country Kitchen Buffet?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Yeah. You take out Country Kitchen Buffet, 
                         and old people won't know what to do.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         That's a retarded idea, Cartman!

                                     CARTMAN
                         Is it? Two years ago they closed the 
                         Country Kitchen Buffet in Steamboat 
                         Springs. And all the old people died 
                         of starvation in less than a week.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Yeah, I remember hearing about that.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Ech, even if it could work, how would 
                         we go about shutting it down?
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         I think I have a plan, though we'll 
                         have to do it tonight.  We'll start 
                         by sneaking into town, cleverly disguised 
                         as black people.  At 5:45 Kenny and 
                         Kyle split off and set a diversion on 
                         the east end of town.  Meanwhile, Stan 
                         and I sneak into the Mayor's office 
                          and steal some of the explosives the 
                         old people have stashed. Nine o'clock: 
                         we rendezvous at the Country Kitchen 
                         Buffet, where we strap the explosives 
                         and the timer to Kyle's chest. We say 
                         our triple goodbye to Kyle, and them 
                         we send him inside. 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Yeah!

                                     STAN
                         All right!

                                     KENNY
                         (Woohoo!)

                                     CARTMAN
                         Aw yeah!

                                     STAN
                         We did it! 

                                     STAN
                         ...Yeah, or we just go to Country Kitchen 
                         Buffet and lock it from the inside so 
                         the seniors can't get in.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Well, right, or we could always do that.
 
                         
               [South Park, day. The old people have the run of the town, and 
               they're bringing in heavier artillery]
 
                                     STEWART
                         All right everyone, round up your ammunition 
                         and get ready to move! We're takin' 
                         this war further out!
 
                                     AARP MEMBERS
                          All right!

                                     MARVIN
                         Uh, I appreciate what the AARP is tryin' 
                         to do for us, but uh, all we want is 
                         our licenses back.
 
                                     STEWART
                          Huh??  Heck no! This is goin' too well.We're 
                         gonna take the whole country back. Wipe 
                         out everyone below the age of sixty 
                         five!
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Wipe 'em out?? What are you? Senile?
 
                         
                                     STEWART
                          Come on, everyone! It's time to plan 
                         for Phase 2!  What the heck?  Huh? What 
                         is this?! It's 6 a.m. C-Country Kitchen 
                         should be open!
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN 9
                         It's not open? It has to be! 

                                     ELDERLY MAN 10
                         Try a window.

                                     ELDERLY MAN 11
                          They're blocked from the inside.

                                     STEWART
                         No...  Let us in! Let us in!

                                     ELDERLY MAN 9
                         Open the door! It's six a.m. 

                                     ELDERLY WOMAN
                         Open the Country Kitchen Buffet for 
                         us!
 
                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         You have to let us in! 

                                     ARMY OFFICIAL
                         All right everyone, area secure. Collect 
                         their weapons and free the hostages. 
                          That was a great strategy, boys. You 
                         may very well have saved this entire 
                         country. 
 
                                     RANDY
                         Whoa-ho-ho-ooh, what happened? Is it 
                         over?
 
                                     ARMY OFFICIAL
                         Everything is fine. Control of the town 
                         is back to you folks.
 
                                     STEWART
                          Country Kitchen... wha-what happened?
 
                         
                                     SOLDIER
                          Sir, what should we do with this one?
 
                         
                                     ARMY OFFICIAL
                         It's up to the townspeople.

                                     RANDY
                         Well, I think he learned his lesson. 
                         Huh? Don't you feel silly now, Dad? 
                         I think somebody owes us all an apology. 
                         Yes he does.
 
                                     STAN
                         Oh, stop it, Dad! This is partly your 
                         fault!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Huh?

                                     STAN
                         Look, all Grandpa wants is not to be 
                         talked to like a child. I think half 
                         of what he was angry about wasn't what 
                         you were doing, but how you were doing 
                         it.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         That's right.

                                     STAN
                         And Grandpa, you should be proud that 
                         you made it through life to be a senior, 
                         but you should also realize that, when 
                         you're behind the wheel, you're a killing 
                         machine.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         I know. I guess sometimes us seniors 
                         need to know when to stop driving so 
                         we don't put the responsibility on our 
                         families.
 
                                     RANDY
                         Well, I think this has been a real learning 
                         experience for the Marsh family. People 
                         died, but we all grew a bit. Let's just 
                         go home.
 
                                     MARVIN
                         Sure. I'll drive.

                                     RANDY
                          That's our Grandpa. 

                                     STAN
                          Dude, I hate my family. 

               THE END

Grey Dawn



Writers :   Trey Parker
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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