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                                     "SOUTH PARK"


                                     Episode 812


                        "STUPID SPOILED WHORE VIDEO PLAYSET"


                                      Written by 


                                     Trey Parker





               [South Park Mall, day. Inside, a crowd awaits a special event. 
               A small stage with "PARIS" writ large in front is set up before 
               a red curtain. Wendy and Bebe arrive and make heir way to the 
               front.]
 
                                     BEBE
                         Come on, Wendy, we'er gonna miss it.
 
                         
                                     WENDY
                         We're gonna miss what?

                                     BEBE
                         Paris Hilton is making an appearance 
                         at the mall.
 
                                     WENDY
                         Who's Paris Hilton?

                                     RED
                         "Who's Paris Hilton?"

                                     ANNIE
                         You don't know?

                                     ANNOUNCER
                          Hello, everyone!  The Guess Clothing 
                         Company is pleased to have as its new 
                         spokesperson model, a woman all you 
                         young ones can look up to, Ms. Paris 
                         Hilton. 
 
                                     BEBE
                         Wow, that's really her! Paris! Over 
                         here!
 
                                     WENDY
                         I don't get it. What does she do?

                                     ANNIE
                         She's super-rich!

                                     WENDY
                         ...but what does she do?

                                     RED
                         She's totally spoiled and savvy.

                                     WENDY
                          What does she do?!

                                     MAN
                          She's a whore. 

                                     PARIS
                          Hey everyone. Sorry if I'm a little 
                         spent. I did a whole lot of partying 
                         last night with a LOT of different guys. 
                          Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Douth 
                         Dark to announce the opening of my brand 
                         new store! A store where girls can buy 
                         everything they need to be just like 
                         me! Stupid Spoiled Whore!  Have fun, 
                         girls. And remember to party, and be 
                         super-lame to everybody. Bye!  Give 
                         me that! Fucking Christ I need a drink! 
                          Where's my dog?! 
 
               [Stupid Spoiled Whore, inside. The girls rush in as the doors 
               open and begin to mill around. Bebe leads Red, Jordan and Wendy 
               around. Wendy's still stunned.]
 
                                     BEBE
                         Wow, look at all this great stuff. Stupid 
                         Spoiled Whore clothes, Stupid Spoiled 
                         Whore dolls,
 
                                     RED
                          Hey, check it out: the new Paris Hilton 
                         perfume, Skanque. 
 
                                     ANNIE
                          Oh yeah, let's get lots of that!

                                     WENDY
                         You guys, don't buy this stuff. Why 
                         do you want to be like Paris Hilton?
 
                         
                                     RED
                         It's not just Paris: Britney Spears, 
                         Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid, they're 
                         all stupid spoiled whores!
 
                                     WENDY
                         But the idea that we'll be whorish for 
                         money is belittling to our gender!
 
                         
                                     BEBE
                          Wendy, get a clue. The only thing more 
                         important than being rich is being famous!
 
                         
                                     ANNIE
                         Wow, you really sound like a dumb slut, 
                         Bebe.
 
                                     BEBE
                         Thanks, Annie! 

               [South Park Mall, parking lot. Paris's chaffeur holds the limosine 
               door open for her.]
 
                                     PARIS
                          God, get me out of this hick town! 
                         What a bunch of rednecks!  Everybody's 
                         so fucking lame. Except for you, my 
                         little Tinkerbell. You love my vewy 
                         much, don't you? How much you wuv me? 
                          I'm gonna dress you up like a bunny, 
                         and then I'm gonna dress you up like 
                         a little princess. You're mine forever! 
                          Whatever! Oh, hey, KC. Oh, another 
                         stupid store opening at some lame cowboy 
                         town.  Oh, it's so fucking stupid, this 
                         whole town stinks like cows.  I can't 
                         wait to get out of here! Grody!  They 
                         have the lamest stores, too.  I'm gonna 
                         go to Rome for the weekend, I think. 
                         I dunno, Rome or Tokyo, either way it'll 
                         be totally boring.  Stupid.  Hagh.  
                         I need to get wasted. I haven't had 
                         a drink in like fourteen minutes. Why 
                         is everybody so stupid anyway?  I flashed 
                         all these hicks with my boobs; you should've 
                         seen the look on their faces! Stupid 
                         redneck idiots!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
 
                         
                                     DRIVER
                         Oh dear...

                                     PARIS
                         Another dog killed itself!

               [A house. Two girls sit at a dining table doing nothing. Wendy 
               enters and addresses them]
 
                                     WENDY
                         Hey Jessie , hey Kal. Do you guys mind 
                         if I hang out with you? The other girls 
                         are acting really strange.
 
                                     JESSIE
                         Sure, Wendy. We were just trying to 
                         think of something to do.
 
                                     WENDY
                         Oh, well, you wanna maybe go to the 
                         art museum?
 
                                     JESSIE
                         Nah, that sounds really dull.

                                     KAL
                         Hey, I know! Let's make a videotape 
                         of us having sex with boys! 
 
                                     WENDY
                         What??

                                     KAL
                         I just got  the Stupid Spoiled Whore 
                         video playset! 
 
                                     SINGERS
                         Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!
 
                         
                                     KAL
                         You can make videos that get out on 
                         the Internet!
 
                                     JESSIE
                         Yeah!

                                     SINGERS
                         Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!
 
                         
               [Jessie and Kal open the box up and prepare the camera]

               Show the whole world what a slut you are! 

               [Kal puts on some makeup as Jessie looks on]

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset comes 
                         with video camera, night-vision filter, 
                         play money, losable cellphone, and sixteen 
                         hits of exstacy. 
 
                                     SINGERS
                         Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!
 
                         
               [night-vision footage of Kal simulating sex is shown]

               Let everyone see your coo-oo-ooch! 

               [The playset box is shown again, then Kal is shown on the cellphone]
 
               
                                     KAL
                         I'm pretending to be calling my friends 
                         on the cellphone while my man waits 
                         for more sex!
 
                                     JESSIE
                         You're a Stupid Spoiled Whore.  Where 
                         are you goin', Wendy?
 
               [The limosine. Paris is crying over the loss of Tinkerbell]
 
               
                                     PARIS
                         Bwaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaa!

                                     DRIVER
                         All right, Ms. Hilton, we'll find you 
                         another dog.
 
                                     PARIS
                          WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

                                     DRIVER
                         There there now, let's just get you 
                         back home, shall we?
 
                                     PARIS
                         Woooooooooohooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo... 
                          Wait! Wait, stop the car!  Stop the 
                         car, you fucking moron!  Look at how 
                         cuuute. I want that! I want that!!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          Lu lu lu, I've got some apples, Lu 
                         lu lu, you've got some too.
 
                                     PARIS
                         It's adorable! 

                                     BUTTERS
                         Lu lu lu, let's make some applesauce, 
                         take off our clothes and lu lu lu! 
 
                         
                                     PARIS
                         Look at his lwittle puff ball!  I'm 
                         gonna feed you, and take care of you, 
                         and call you Mr. Biggles! 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         My name's Butters.

                                     PARIS
                         Driver, put Mr. Biggles in the car. 
                          I want to find a bear costume for him. 
                         Won't he be soo cute dressed up as a 
                         bear?
 
                                     DRIVER
                         Paris, I believe this is somebody's 
                         child.
 
                                     PARIS
                         I want it!

                                     DRIVER
                         I don't think you can actually-

                                     PARIS
                         I WANT IT! WANT IT!!! 

                                     DRIVER
                         All right, all right, come on- come 
                         on, young man
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wa-I'm, Wa-I'm sorry, ma'am. I'd like 
                         to be your boyfriend and all, uh even 
                         though you have kind of a big nose, 
                         but my parents told me, "never get into 
                         a car with a stranger."
 
                                     PARIS
                         Well did they say anything about limosines? 
                         
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Butters, never get into a car with a 
                         stranger! Unless it's a limosine.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh.Yeah, actually, they did say that'd 
                         be all right.
 
                                     PARIS
                          Get in the limo, Mr. Biggles! We're 
                         gonna have a bear costume made for you!
 
                         
               [Wendy's house, night. Her parents are watchng TV and munching 
               on chips on the sofa. She enters with her head down]
 
                                     ANNOUNCER
                         And now, back to The Price is Right! 
                         
 
                                     DAD
                         Hi, sweetie. What's the matter.

                                     WENDY
                         Mom, Dad, I'm growing concerned about 
                         the role models young women have in 
                         today's society.
 
                                     DAD
                         Oh?

                                     WENDY
                         It seems that lewdness and shallowness 
                         are being exalted, while intellectualism 
                         is looked down upon.
 
                                     DAD
                         ...Gosh.

                                     WENDY
                         I think young women are being marketed 
                         to by corrupt, moral-less corporations.
 
                         
                                     DAD
                         Well, we'll get right on fixing that, 
                         sweetie. Wanna watch The Price is Right? 
                         
 
                                     WENDY
                          Dad, there's a new store at the mall 
                         called "Stupid Spoiled Whore" and I'm 
                         gonna go there and buy a thong!
 
                                     DAD
                          What?! No daughter of mine is going 
                         to dress like a whore! We're marching 
                         down to that store right now, young 
                         lady!
 
               [Stupid Spoiled Whore, moments later. Wendy and her dad enter 
               the store. He looks around]
 
                                     MR. TESTABURGER
                         Oh my God! Well this place is-! Oh my 
                         God!  Mrs. Polk, you're buying this 
                         stuff for your daughter?!
 
                                     MRS. POLK
                          It's what's in right now. I, I can't 
                         have my little girl be the only one 
                         not in a trend; she'll be unpopular. 
                         
 
                                     MR. TESTABURGER
                         Unpopular?! If she's not a whore?!  
                         But these are our girls!
 
                                     MRS. STEVENS
                         I think it's empowering for them. I 
                         mean, sure, if a man wants to be a whore, 
                         it's "normal," but if a woman wants 
                         to be one, it's "WRONG." 
 
                                     WOMAN 1
                         But, when a man pees standing up, it's 
                         "normal," but when a woman does it, 
                         it's "weeeird."
 
                                     FEMALES
                         Yeah! Right!

                                     WOMAN 2
                         Yeah, like, when men shave their balls 
                         it's fine, but when a woman does it 
                         she's "straaange."
 
                                     FEMALES
                         Yeah! Right! It isn't fair!

                                     TEEN GIRL 1
                          All the girls in South Park are gonna 
                         be total sluts from now on, so you can 
                         just get used to it.
 
                                     TEEN GIRL 2
                          Yeah. Will you buy me that purse I 
                         want over there? I'll do anything, 'cause 
                         I'm a whore.
 
                                     MR. TESTABURGER
                          Oh, uh uh sure I, I can buy a purse.
 
                         
                                     WENDY
                         Dad!!

                                     MR. TESTABURGER
                         Nope. Wendy, I think they're right. 
                         You see, you have to believe in the 
                         rights of women. For too long they've 
                         had to live a double standard.  Oh yeah. 
                          I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, 
                         Wendy. From now on you can have whatever 
                         you want from this store, I'll help 
                         make you the stupidest, most spoiled 
                         whore of them all!
 
                                     FEMALES
                         Yeahah! Hooray!

               [The Stotch house, day.]

                                     CHRIS
                         Butters, will you mind telling us why 
                         you're dressed up like a bear?!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh, well, uh, my sort-of-girlfriend 
                         dressed me up like this.
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Your girlfriend?

                                     PARIS
                          There you are, Mr. Biggles!  Aw I thought 
                         I'd lost you!  Promise you'll never 
                         leave me. 
 
                                     LINDA
                         Butters? You're dating Paris Hilton? 
                          You are grounded, mister!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          I'm sorry.

                                     CHRIS
                          Uh, sweetheart, isn't Paris Hilton 
                         worth a lot of money?
 
                                     LINDA
                         Chris, she's more than twice Butters' 
                         age!
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Yes, and more than three billion times 
                         his net worth. Everybody adores that 
                         girl, darling. We should be nice to 
                         her too, especially if she's in love 
                         with our son! 
 
                                     LINDA
                         Uhm, Paris, would you like to have some 
                         cocoa with us? 
 
                                     PARIS
                         With schnapps and Scotch. 

               [The dining table. The four persons are seated around it drinking 
               cocoa, with Paris having a bottle of Scotch alongside the cocoa]
 
               
                                     CHRIS
                         So, Paris, I understand you're from 
                         the prestigious Hilton family. Very 
                         nice hotels.
 
                                     PARIS
                         I've gotta get outta here. This place 
                         is stupid. Where am I? Oh, I wanna take 
                         Mr. Biggles with me.
 
                                     LINDA
                          With you where?

                                     PARIS
                         To live with me forever and ever, you 
                         dumb broad. How much?
 
                                     LINDA
                         How much? For Butters?

                                     CHRIS
                         Butters is our son. He's not for sale.
 
                         
                                     PARIS
                         I'll give you two hundred million dollars 
                         for it. 
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Escuse me?!

                                     PARIS
                         I said I'll give you two hundred million 
                         dollars for it!  I'll write you a check 
                         for Mr. Biggles right now.
 
                                     LINDA
                         Chris, is she serious?

                                     CHRIS
                         Aj, Butters, why don't you take Paris 
                         up to your room for a little while, 
                         uh, Mommy and Daddy have to talk.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          Mom, Dad, I I love you. Please don't 
                         sell me to Paris Hilton.
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Butters, right now!!

               [the living room, moments later. Chris paces the floor as Linda 
               watches on.]
 
                                     LINDA
                         We aren't honestly considering this?
 
                         
                                     CHRIS
                         Darling, Paris is a billionaire. She 
                         can give Butters everything he wants. 
                         We'd be terrible parents NOT to consider 
                         it.
 
                                     LINDA
                         But he's our son!

                                     CHRIS
                         I know, darling, but look: we have to 
                         think about the rest of the family.
 
                         
                                     LINDA
                         The rest of the f- you do mean us?
 
                         
                                     CHRIS
                         Yes, us, the rest of the family.

               [Upstairs, in Butters' room. The bed looks nice. Paris is now 
               drunk from the Scotch she added to her cocoa.]
 
                                     PARIS
                         What should we do, Mr. Biggles? I drank 
                         too much.  Oh my God, I'm so wasted! 
                          The room's all spinny. I'm... totally 
                         passing out. 
 
               [South Park Elementary. The class bell rings and kids clear the 
               hall. Cartman is at his locker, and near him stand five girls. 
               Wendy walks up to them]
 
                                     WENDY
                         Hey Bebe. I heard you were having a 
                         party tonight.
 
                                     BEBE
                         You wouldn't be interested, Wendy. My 
                         parents are out of town, so it's a Stupid 
                         Spoiled Whore party.
 
                                     WENDY
                         I'm a stupid spoiled whore. 

                                     ANNIE
                         Right. Please, Wendy, you're like Class 
                         President and stuff!
 
                                     RED
                         Yeah, and you get straight A's in school!
 
                         
                                     BEBE
                         You're not even spoiled, because your 
                         parents give money to charity!
 
                                     RED
                         You don't want to go to this party, 
                         Wendy! We're inviting all the boys, 
                         and we're gonna play Spin the Bottle, 
                         and Two Minutes In The Closet, and do 
                         ketamine.
 
                                     WENDY
                         That's okay.

                                     ANNIE
                         Oh, please, do you even know what ketsmine 
                         is?
 
                                     WENDY
                         Yes.

                                     ANNIE
                         See? You are too smart.

                                     RED
                         Yeah. We have no idea what ketamine 
                         is.
 
                                     BEBE
                         Sorry Wendy. You're just not a whore. 
                         Get lost!
 
                                     GIRLS
                         Yeah. 

                                     RED
                         Hey, we'd better start invitng boys 
                         to the party.
 
                                     SALLY
                         Oooo look, here comes Clyde.

                                     BEBE
                         Party at my house tonight, Clyde. You're 
                         invited. 
 
                                     MILLIE
                         Mmm, I'd like a piece of that!

                                     RED
                         I wanna do him.

                                     ANNIE
                         Oh, yeah. Here comes Kyle. 

                                     SALLY
                         Mmm, talk to me, kosher boy. 

                                     MILLIE
                         I'd like to swivel his pixie stick.
 
                         
                                     BEBE
                         Party at my house tonight, Kyle.

                                     ANNIE
                         Tweek and Jason - that'd be a great 
                         three-way. 
 
                                     RED
                         Yeah, they're invited too.

                                     SALLY
                         Jason has a huge bulge. You're gonna 
                         get it, boys.
 
                                     BEBE
                         Now here's what I'm talking about.  
                         A little midngith blue!
 
                                     MILLIE
                         Yeah, I'd like to wax his crankshaft!
 
                         
                                     ANNIE
                         Be at Bebe's house, tonight, at seven! 
                         
 
                                     SALLY
                         Look, here comes Kevin. 

                                     BEBE
                         Hey Kevin, party at my house.

                                     MILLIE
                         I'd like to gargle his marbles.

                                     RED
                         Yeah, you said it. 

                                     SALLY
                         See you there, Kev. 

                                     CARTMAN
                         "Dude, there's Cartman. We should invite 
                         him to the party for sure."  Fuck you 
                         Millie, fuck you Annie, fuck you Bebe, 
                         fuck you whatever your name is, and 
                         fuck you, bitch! 
 
               [Butters' room. He's gotten interested in Paris' genitals, poking 
               at her coochie]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Huh. Didn't I... Whoa, that's the darnedest 
                         thing I ever saw. 
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Ms. Hilton? Uh, Ms. Hilton.

                                     PARIS
                          Eugh. Where am I? Ew! This room's all 
                         middle-class and small!
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Ms. Hilton, we've talked it over all 
                         night and ...while your offer is enticing, 
                         I'm afraid we just can't sell you our 
                         son for two hundred million dollars. 
                         It'll have to be two hundred and fifty 
                         million, cash, up front.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh hamburgers!

                                     PARIS
                         Yay Mr. Biggles, you're mine forever!
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          Please! Ah I don't want to live with 
                         her! She snores real bad, and she has 
                         a huge nose, and a squishy thing that 
                         lives in her pants! Please! Please don't 
                         sell me to her! 
 
                                     CHRIS
                         All right, Butters, tell you what: if 
                         you can raise the two hundred and fifty 
                         million dollars yourself, you can stay.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Uh, well huh, how am I supposed to make 
                         that kind of money??
 
                                     CHRIS
                         It's called "working" young man! Your 
                         grandfather was a coal miner for fifty 
                         years; he never complained! Get out 
                         there and start digging!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Y-yes sir!  I-I gotta... mine some coal... 
                         really fast!
 
                                     CHRIS
                          That should keep him busy for a while 
                         while we get this transaction finished. 
                         Now, Ms. Hilton, how should we start? 
                         
 
               [Bebe's house, night. The living room is all decked out in disco 
               furnishings. A disco ball hangs from the ceiling and harmless 
               laser beams shoot here and there. The girls are enjoying themselves 
               while the boys have mixed expressions.]
 
                                     MILLIE
                          Okay, that's two minutes. You can come 
                         out, Clyde, Bab.  How was he, Bab?
 
                         
                                     BAB
                          We had a great time, didn't we Clyde?
 
                         
                                     CLYDE
                          Aaaaah, owieeee, owieeee. 

                                     CARTMAN
                          Oh, hey, What's goin' on? I'm uh, here 
                         for the party.
 
                                     RED
                          Yeah? Who invited you?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh uh uh Kelly. Kelly invited me.

                                     RED
                         Kelly who?

                                     CARTMAN
                         Kelly Rutherford Menskin.

                                     RED
                          Kelly Rutherford Menskin?

                                     KELLY MENSKIN
                          Yeah?

                                     RED
                         Did you invite him?

                                     KELLY MENSKIN
                         No! 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Oh wait wait wait, aah it wasn't her. 
                         That's right, I forgot, it was uh... 
                         Kelly Pinkerton Tinfurter
 
                                     RED
                          Kelly Pinkerton Tinfurter?

                                     KELLY TINFURTER
                          What? 

                                     CARTMAN
                          Oh Goddamnit!

               [Mr. Garrison's house, night. The doorbell rings and he goes 
               to answer it. It's raining outside and thunderclaps roll soft 
               and deep]
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Oh, hello Wendy. Are you all right?
 
                         
                                     WEMDY
                         No, I need help.

                                     MR. GARRISON
                         From from me?

                                     WEMDY
                         Actually, I was hoping to see your boyfriend.
 
                         
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Well sure, come on in. Mr. Slave is 
                         right over here. 
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Oooooooooooh! Oh Jezuth, Jezuth Christh!
 
                         
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Mr. Slave, little Wendy from class wants 
                         to see you.
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Oh, hi Wendy. You need a little help 
                         with your math homework?
 
                                     WENDY
                         Nno, I need help becoming a dirty whore 
                         like you
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         ...Oh dear. Mr. Slave, I think you and 
                         Wendy better have a little talk. I'll 
                         make some cocoa.
 
               [The sofa, moments later. Wendy and Mr. Slave sit side by side.]
 
               
                                     WENDY
                         Mr. Slave, you're the most perverted, 
                         lewd, depraved slut I know.
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Thank you sweetie.

                                     WENDY
                         Can you teach me your secret fast?
 
                         
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Honey, I didn't work to become a whore, 
                         I was born a whore. I've been one... 
                         ever since I can remember.  Ever since 
                         I was a little boy I seemed to enjoy... 
                         different things.
 
                                     LITTLE SLAVE
                         Mommy, I think I have a fever. Can you 
                         take my temperature?  Oooo, Jezuth Christh. 
                         
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         As I got older, I felt that one boy 
                         was never enough.
 
                                     BOY SLAVE
                          Hey, there's that queer kid. Let's 
                         tackle him! 
 
                                     KID
                         Hey yeah, tackle the queer kid!  We'll 
                         show you, queer!
 
                                     BOY SLAVE
                         Oooooooooooh! Oooooooooooh! Jezuth Christh!
 
                         
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         So you see, I can't make you into a 
                         whore, Wendy. But why would you want 
                         to be one anyway?
 
                                     WENDY
                         Because all the other girls are. They're 
                         having a huge sex party right now and 
                         I'm not invited.
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         A what?? For God's sake, where??

               [Butters' house, outside. Butters is at the side of the house 
               shoveling dirt from a mound]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         You work eighteen hours and what do 
                         you get? Parents sell ya to Paris Hilton. 
                         
 
                                     MAN
                         Look at that. A bear, mining for coal.
 
                         
                                     WOMAN
                         Well. I never. 

                                     CHRIS
                         Well Butters, how'd it go? Did you dig 
                         up two hundred million dollars' worth 
                         of coal?
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Well, no, not quite.

                                     CHRIS
                         Oh, well, too bad.  Ms. Hilton did raise 
                         the money, so you'll be going off with 
                         her.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Well ah, shucks! 

                                     LINDA
                         Bye, sweetie, we love you!

               [Inside the limo, Paris gets her camera and aims...]

                                     PARIS
                         Smile Mr. Biggles! This time I have 
                         to get a picture of my new pet BEFORE 
                         anything happens. 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Before what happens? 

               [The shots are gruesome. First up is Tinkerbell, with the gun 
               and blood splattered all over the place; then Patches, a French 
               poodle that hung itself, shown dangling from the noose; then 
               Scrambles, a dog that somehow managed to slit its front paws, 
               lying in a bathtub full of water and blood; then Cuddles, a dog 
               that committed hara kiri] AAAAAAAAAAAH! [throws the book away 
               and gets out of the limo as fast as he could and runs away.]
 
               
                                     PARIS
                          Mr. Biggles! Mr. Biggles, come back! 
                          You'd better help me find him! No Mr. 
                         Biggles, no money! 
 
                                     CHRIS
                         Oh that troublemaking son of ours! Butters! 
                         Butters, you get back here or you are 
                         grounded, mister!
 
               [Bebe's house, night. The party is still going strong. One Kelly, 
               who had earlier been with Token, is chasing Kyle. Red is coming 
               on to Stan. Annie chases Kenny down and catches him. In general, 
               the guys are being chased down by the girls. Millie chases Tweek. 
               Mr. Slave kicks the front door open and enters with Wendy. Cartman 
               appears behind then and enters.]
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Oh Jezuth!  Kids, kids!

                                     ANNIE
                         Ew, potty mouth!

                                     RED
                         Shut off the light.

                                     STAN
                         Oh, thank God.

                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Girls, what on earth are you doing?
 
                         
                                     BEBE
                         We're being stupid spoiled whores. 
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          H-help! You've gotta hide me!  Uh don't 
                         tell her I'm in here! 
 
                                     BEBE
                         What did you do, Wendy?! Go rat on us 
                         because you're not invited to our Paris 
                         Hilton party?!
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Okay, I think this has all gone far 
                         enough! Now look, the last person you 
                         want to be like is Paris Hilton!
 
                                     PARIS
                          Mr. Biggles!

                                     MR. SLAVE
                          Paris Hilton is a nobody! She may have 
                         money, but she's a thoughtless, talentless 
                         lowlife!
 
                                     PARIS
                         Who the fuck are you calling a lowlife?!
 
                         
                                     BEBE
                         Wow, Paris Hilton is at my party! I 
                         rule!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          HAAAAH! 

                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Hon, will you just tell these girls 
                         that being a whore isn't such a great 
                         thing.
 
                                     PARIS
                         What isn't great about it? What's more 
                         to life than partying?
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Look girls, I've partied a lot. Okay? 
                         And I'm telling you, there's more to 
                         life.
 
                                     PARIS
                         You don't even know what partying is, 
                         loser. 
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Sweetie, really, don't go there, okay?
 
                         
                                     PARIS
                         Oh I went there. I went there, took 
                         some pictures, and flew back already.
 
                         
                                     GIRLS
                         Ooooo!

                                     ANNIE
                         Wow, what a bitch. 

                                     MR. SLAVE
                         Sweetie, listen, I know you've done 
                         some partying in your private little 
                         rich life, but you don't even wanna 
                         know the kind of stuff I've done. I'm 
                         the real whore, and I'm telling you, 
                         it isn't great.
 
                                     PARIS
                         Oh yeah?! I challenge you to a whore-off!
 
                         
                                     GIRLS
                         Ooooo!

                                     MEN
                          Whore-off! Whore-off!

               [South Park's Whore-off. A gazebo is set up for the event in 
               South Park Square. A crowd gathers]
 
                                     OFFICIAL
                         Ahh testing? Hello?  Okay uh, welcome 
                         everyone. Uhh the South Park Chamber 
                         of Commerce is pleased to bring you 
                         the first annual "Who Is The Biggest 
                         Whore" showdown. 
 
                                     BEBE
                         Mr. Slave has no idea what he's in for.
 
                         
                                     RED
                         Paris is gonna rock his world.

                                     OFFICIAL
                         Ahhh I'm... not quite sure how we... 
                         start this competition off, but uh-
 
                         
                                     PARIS
                          I'll show ya how we start it off. 
 
                         
                                     CROWD
                         Ohhh! 

                                     WENDY
                          What is Mr. Slave doing? He he's just 
                         sitting there.
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Give him time, Wendy. Give him time. 
                          Come on, Mr. Slave.
 
                                     PARIS
                          Back off! None of you losers are enough 
                         for me!  Eeeaaagh. Oh yeah. Aaaargh. 
                          Tada! 
 
                                     RANDY
                         Oh no she di'int. 

                                     MR. SLAVE
                          Jezuth.  Ohoho, Jezuth. 

                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Now, that's a whore! 

                                     BEBE
                         Wow, I guess Paris isn't such hot shit 
                         after all.
 
                                     MR. SLAVE
                         People, don't applaud me. I'm a dirty 
                         whore.  Being spoiled and stupid and 
                         whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, 
                         remember? Parents, if you don't teach 
                         your children that people like Paris 
                         Hilton are supposed to be despised, 
                         where are they gonna learn it? You have 
                         to be the-  ooohooho, Jezuth Christh. 
                         You have to be the ones to make sure 
                         your daughters aren't looking up to 
                         the wrong people.
 
                                     MR. STEVENS
                         The homosexual is right. From now on, 
                         Bebe, you're going to dress like a little 
                         girl. 
 
                                     BEBE
                         Wendy, we're sorry we called you names. 
                         Like not-stupid and not-spoiled.
 
                                     RED
                         Yeah, and I didn't mean to say you weren't 
                         a whore.
 
                                     WENDY
                         That's okay, you guys. 

                                     CHRIS
                         So- so that's it? No two hundred million 
                         dollars? Well, Butters, I hope you're 
                         happy!
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          I'm a bad bear. I'm a very bad old 
                         bear.
 
                                     CHRIS
                         You're grounded, old bear.

               [Deep within Mr. Slave's intestine, Paris is trying to claw her 
               way out]
 
                                     PARIS
                         Oh my God, it's so gross! Let me out 
                         of here!  What the fuck is that?
 
                                     FROG KING
                         Paris, you must find the way out of 
                         this place or you'll surely die.
 
                                     PARIS
                         What?

                                     FROG KING
                         Make your way to the small intestine. 
                         There you will meet the Sparrow Prince, 
                         who can guide you to Catatafish. Now 
                         go, Paris Hilton. Make haste! 
 
               
               A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.

               Hurry onward Paris Hilton or you will soon be dead.

               The road ahead is filled with danger and fright

               But push onward, Paris Hilton, with all of your might.

               Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton Paris Hilton

               Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton Paris Hilton

               Paris Hilton... Paris Hilton Paris Hilton

               Stupid whore! ]

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset



Writers :   Trey Parker
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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