[The neighborhood. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny ride down the
street on their Big Wheels.]
Hey, check it out, dude. Somebody bought
the Donovans' old house.
Yeah, I think they already moved in.
I saw moving vans in their driveway
two days ago.
I hope they're not Austrians. That's
the last thing this town needs.
Hey. Do you live here?
Yeah, I just moved here with my dad.
Are you gonna be my new friends?
I really like your town. My dad wanted
to move somewhere to get away from it
all. He said he wanted piece and quiet,
and to live with a bunch of hicks who
don't know anything.
What's that you're wearing?
It's my mask. My daddy says it's best
for me to hide my face. My name's Blanket.
Your name is Blanket. Right. Well, Blanket,
I'm Howdy Doody, and these are my friends
Timsy , Winky and Nod. Unfortunately,
we have to be off to the Land of Booger
Trees, so we'll be leaving now.
Wait, don't you guys wanna come inside
Huh look dude, we're in the fourth
grade, okay? You know what that means?
It means we don't hang out with a little
kid. Come on, guys, let's get back to
our Big Wheels.
We have arcade games inside.
[The old Donovan house, now Blanket's home.]
Whoa. Dude, no way.
Oh my God, this is awesome!
Dude, are these all your toys?
No, this is all my dad's stuff. He loves
toys and video games.
Dude, he must be loaded! What does he
He's retired now.
Oh my God, dude! Your dad must be the
coolest dad in the world!
Come on, my dad's probably out in the
[The back yard. The sliding door opens up to a small park, a
Neverland, with a giraffe, small Ferris wheel, small carousel,
and other things. The boys step through the doorway]
Oh, kick ass! Dude, why isn't my house
Dad, you out here??
Here I am, Blanket! Heeee! Jeh chabee
durtah! Blanket!! Oh my beautiful blanket!
What's wrong with his face?
Be cool, dude. I, I think maybe he's
a burn victim or something.
Guys, this is my dad, Michael Ja-
Jefferson! Michael ...Jefferson, yeh.
Hey, you wanna play with me? Come on,
let's climb the tree! Come on, climb
the tree, climb the tree!
Have you been up my ...Wishing Tree? Tuh!
It's where I come to think and dream.
And now I'd like to show you my ...Wishing Tree. Jam on!
Where we can laugh and giggle and scream. Hee hee!
Imagination is the key.
Mr. Jefferson, your son can't get up.
Won't you imagine along with me?
We can be spacemen, or pirates on the
sea Chuckajam on
Yes we can do everything, and I mean, everything! Chuckajam on
Up in my Wishing Tree! Hee hee! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
[Stark's Pond, day. A group of kids skate around lazily on its
frozen surface. Stan and friends race over a rise towards the
Hey you guys! You guys! You gotta come
with us over to the Jeffersons!
They're a new family that just moved
to South Park! We met this kid named
Blanket, and he has the coolest dad
in the world!
Mr. Jefferson said we can invite all
the kids in town to go play over at
They have like, video games and rides
and a cotton-candy machine, oh, and,
and in their back yard, guess what they
have in their back yard?? Guess. A train.
Yeah way, Craig! And if you don't believe
in Mr. Jefferson, then you can just
I believe in Mr. Jefferson.
[The Jefferson house, arcade room. As the kids enjoy the toys
and games found there, Jefferson swings above them on a spacious
swing with Bebe on his lap]
Weeeeeee, look at us on the swing! We're
Who wants the first cotton candy?
Mememe! I'm first! I'm first! Ooooh,
let's go ride the choo-choo train!
Choo-choo train! Yay!
[The Jefferson back yard. The kids follow Jefferson to the train]
Let's ride the train! The train!
Would you like to ride the train with me,
and start a magical journey?
Yes I would, Mr. Jefferson. You're
so awesome, Mr. Jefferson.
Cartman, you have a beautiful voice.
Thank you Mr. Jefferson. So do you.
Let's ride and ride on the train together
... Train together
On a journey through both of our minds.
... I've got time. Do youuu??
[back near the sliding door, Stan, Kyle and Kenny look on. Blanket
stands next to them and Kyle notices Blanket's left leg]
Dude, what happened to your knee?
I fell down.
Choo-choo train, it's all fun and games.
Mr.! Goddamnit. Here, come on. We need
to clean that up.
[The bathroom, nicely appointed. Kyle sits Blanket on the toilet
and dresses the wound]
Alright, this is gonna sting for a second.
I know, I know. Be cool.
Thank you. That already feels better.
So, dude, do you have any brothers
I have a half-brother and a half-sister.
But they live with their mom now.
And where is your mom?
I don't have a mom.
You must have a mom. You mean she doesn't
live here, or she's dead, or what?
No. I was made in a laboratory.
My daddy wanted to have a baby, so he
put me in a test tube. Then, they put
me in a woman's tummy, and, when I was
born, Daddy took me home.
So you never met your mom?
Noo... But I used to have a lot of bodyguards
and nannies, if that counts.
Yeah. Yeah, that counts.
[The neighborhood, some time later. The boys are walking home]
Oh man, that was great! You guys know
what Mr. Jefferson said? He said I'm
his best friend, and I can go over to
his house whenever I want! I'm supposed
to go right back over there after dinner
You guys, I feel kinda bad for that
You feel bad for him?! He has everything
a kid could want!
Mr. Jefferson just seems like he wants
to be a kid, not have one.
Oh, you know what?! This makes perfect
sense! A guy moves into South Park with
a FERRIS wheel in his back yard, and
KYLE has to see a problem with it!
Mr. Jefferson is the best thing that's
happened to this town in a long time,
and if you miss this up, so help me
GOD, I will rip your balls off with
my bare hands! With my bare hands, Goddamn
[Stan's house, afternoon. Stan enters the kitchen through the
back door. Randy is at the breakfast nook reading a paper, Sharon
puts a coffee pot onto the counter]
Well, there he is. Where have you been
I was over at the new neighbors, the
Oh, are they nice people?
Yeah. It's just a dad and his son.
Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis
and the Stotches over for dinner tonight.
Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.
[Stan's house, evening. The Marshes and their guests are seated
at table for dinner. On screen left are seated Sheila, Chris
and Linda. On screen right are seated Gerald, Mr. Jefferson,
and Sharon, and Randy is at the head of the table]
So, Mr. Jefferson, did I hear you say
you moved here from Kentucky?
I heard people saying you all were from
No, theh, they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
What kind of work do you do, Mr. Jefferson?
Oh I'm retired now, but, I was in...
Well our boys have really taken a liking
to you. You seem to really have a way
I just id- identify so much with children.
Their innocence, their beauty. I think
that God is in the face of every child.
...They are fun. Boys, you okay out
[The living room. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket are seated on the sofa,
Wow, these are great. What are they
They're TV dinners. Don't you wanna
take that veil off so you can eat?
Nah, I'm not supposed to. Dad says I
have to keep my face hidden.
What the hell is going on?! Are you
having Mr. Jefferson over for dinner?!
No, my parents are.
You guys better not be trying to Bogart
my friend away!
He is MY friend, got it?! I was friends
with him before you assholes were,
and I hoowi- Stan! Stan, I'm serisouslih!
You'd better not be talking bad about
me in there to Mr. Jefferson!
[The dining table]
Hey, you know Kobe Bryant was up in
Oh yeah? What do you think, Mr. Jefferson?
Do you think Kobe's guilty or innocent?
I think he's definitely going to jail.
I just love seeing smug celebrities
get their comeuppance.
I think it's wrong what the police do
to wealthy black men.
Oh come on, Mr. Jefferson, you're not
one of those who think that the police
go around framing rich black people
just because they're jealous..
Yeah! Because their hearts are full
of greed and they have... doodoo in
[Park County Police Station. Inside an officer waits for a fax
to finish printing. As another officer walks by with a cup of
coffee, he takes a sheet from the machine]
Hey Sergeant, take a look at this.
Looks like a new family has just moved
into South Park. One Mr. Jefferson,
age 50, bought a house there and paid
cash. He seems to have a lot of money.
So, what's the problem?
Take a look. Says here... He's black.
By God, so he is. Black and rich. Time
to take this Mr. Jefferson down, just
like we did Kobe. Let's go people!
We've got another rich black guy. I
want him humiliated and dragged through
the dirt, and I want it done by the
[Stan's house, night. Stan is asleep in his room when someone
pounds at his window. Stan wakes up, then goes to the window]
Hey, Stan, whatcha doin'?
Mr. Jefferson- Awww! It's 1:30 in the
Look at me, I'm Peter Pan. T-shamon!
I'm a little boy forever. Hey!
Mr. Jefferson, I have to go to school
Oh, son of a bitch! I knew it! What
the hell are you doing, Stan?! I'll
tell you what you're doing! You're trying
to steal MY best friend!
He just showed up here.
Remember, Mr. Jefferson? You said we
were best friends.
Dude, look who I found prowling around
in my back yard.
He was out all alone in the middle of
the night. Mr. Jefferson isn't even
I know. He's here.
Oh Kyle, Blanket, yay, it's a slumber
No! Mr. Jefferson, you need to take
your son home.
We can't go home. There's a ghost in
our house. Me and Blanket are scared.
Dad says it wants to eat us.
Please don't make us go back home. Please!
We're scared, we're scared!
Okay, fine, we'll all stay here, but
we're going to sleep now!
Come on, Blanket.
Now let's all sleep and dream Heehee!
of fun and adventurous things shamon!
It's time for us all to say goodnight
Deeper. Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could
be around you all the time. You're awesome.
I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
What's the matter, Stan? Did you have
a bad dream?
Yeah. A really bad dream. Oh Jesus!
[The Jefferson house. An unmarked police car, blue in color,
waits across the street. The sergeant's partner sips on a soda]
Murphy, you inside?
We're inside, sir. Harris was right.
This guy looks like he has more money
than all of us put together. Black sonofabitch!
I'm planting the cocaine now.
Johnson, what about you?
Placing the blood spatter now, sir.
Placing pubic hair from the raped girl
All right, when this Jefferson guy shows
up, arrest him fast and try not to beat
him. There could be neighbors with video
cameras. Why do we do it, Harris?
Why is it that us policement around
the country have such a passion for
framing wealthy African-Americans with
crimes they didn't commit?
Oh why? I guess I never thought about
why, sir. We just do it.
Twenty-five years I've been on the force.
I've seen every kind of sick, depraved
act known to humanity and still, when
I see a black man walk by who has more
money than me, I... want to vomit my
gizzards right in the gutter. But why?
Maybe there is no reason. Maybe there's
just a big blue ball out there that's
mostly covered with water and we're
just goin' along for the ride.
[Stan's house, morning. Someone knocks on Stan's door.]
Stan, time to get up for school. Stan?
What the-? Mr. Jefferson?!
Oh oh, we were just having a slumber
Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate!
Inappropriate? No, you're being ignorant.
They're my friends. You see, I I didn't
have a childhood, so I'm really just
a child myself. Here, everything's
okay. I want you each to have a hundred
Wow, I'm gonna go buy that new sport
coat I've been wanting.
Come on, Blanket. We have to go home
and feed the animals. Bye, friends.
Boys, I do not want you going over to
Mr. Jefferson's anymore. Do you understand?
You don't have to tell us twice, Mom.
That guy's a freak!
Not go to Mr. Jefferson's anymore? Well,
excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you
can suck my fat hairy balls!
[The stakeout at Jefferson house, day. The two officers are snoring,
but the sergeant is roused by the sound of a voice]
Come on, Blanket!
Hey Harris Harris Harris! Harris!
What what what?
It's Jefferson! He's back! All right,
people. Let's give Blacky a nice welcome
home. Whoa, wait a minute! That guy
isn't black! Holy God, his son isn't
black either! Oh Jesus! This is Yeats!
Stand down! I repeat, stand down! Suspect
is not black! You son of a bitch, you
told my this guy was African-American!
It says right here on the final sheet
Does that look like a black guy to
It said on the final sheet!
Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! We could
have made an innocent man go to jail
who wasn't black! Oh! Wuuugh! Wuugh!
Ohaugh. Ugh. Jesus, Harris. What are
we becoming? We're supposed to... protect
the people. Where have we lost our way?
Sir, it's possible that he is black,
even though he doesn't look it.
To hell with you!! I'm never gonna
frame an innocent man again! Unless
I KNOW he's black for sure!!
[Inside the house, Mr. Jefferson closes all the windows and curtains]
All the adults are trying to get us.
Get up to your room, Blanket, and put
your mask on! We can't go outside anymore!
That poor kid.
Dude, come on. We're not supposed to
go over there.
Hey Blanket. Uh, look, we're goin' over
to help my dad chop wood. You... wanna
Really? You mean it?
Oh yay, my friends are here! Come inside
and play, guys!
Ah, actually, Mr. Jefferson, we were
seeing if Blanket wanted to chop wood
Chop wood? No, that's ignorant. That's
poopie work. Blanket and me wanna play!
Mr. Jefferson, ih it might be good for
Blanket to learn how to chop wood
Blanket likes to play, don't you Blanket?
Wee, look! He can fly!
Jesus Christ, dude!
Stop, you fucking lunatic!!
Dude, we have got to get that kid away
[Blanket's room. He's crying on a giant plush teddy bear. Mr.
Jefferson tries to soothe him]
No, Blanket, shhhh. Stop crying. It's
okay, Blanket. Here, look. Jeekabee
durtah! Ow! There, Blanket, shhhh.
Hey, hey look, hey look. I got your
nose. Look! Lookit, I got your nose.
I got your nose, Blanket. See?
No, Blanket, stop! It's ignorant. You're
[The Sergeant's house, later. He enters. A woman appears moments
Harrison, why haven't you called? You
know how I worry.
I'm givin' up, Maggie. I'm quitting
Quitting the force? You?
None of it makes sense anymore. I don't
even know if what we're doing is right.
The last thirteen hours we've been working
on a case, trying to get a real scumbag
off the streets. And when he walked
up to the door, I could have sworn he
was white. Maybe I can't tell the difference
anymore. Maybe it doesn't matter. Because
it seems like every time we frame a
rich black guy, he's back out on the
streets in no time. It's just like OJ.
Do you know how hard those cops worked
to frame him? The tireless hours they
put in?? And then he just gets off because
somebody messed up and said the N word
out loud too many times. I guess I'm
just tired. I'm jast damn tired.
Not another word of that kind of talk,
Harrison Yeats. Believe me I would
love nothin' more than to have you quit
the force and no longer have to worry
about whether or not you're comin' home.
But I know you. Framin' rich black men
for crimes they didn't commit is in
your blood. Wipin' that rich, smug smile
off their faces is the only thing that
puts a smile on yours. You're a good
cop, Harrsion Yeats. You don't have
to question that. Because I'm here to
And you're a good wife, Maggie. You
know me better than I know myself.
Where're you goin'?
Think I've got a little more work to
[The Jefferson house, night. Cartman walks up to the door and
Mr. Jefferson? It's your best friend
in the whole wide world, Eric Cartman.
Mr. Jefferson? I came to sleep over
[Mr. Jefferson room. He's on the phone with someone.]
No, Dr. Nelson, I'm telling you, you
have to fly out here right now! My nose
came off again! I know you live in
California; I'll pay for your plane
ticket! But I'm falling apart! I need
some more of that cream and the injections!
I have to look young again! Oh, I'm
[The Jefferson house, outside. A ladder is propped up against
the side of the house. Kyle, Stan, and another boy approach.
The boy wears the same mask Blanket usually does.]
All right. Thanks a lot for helping
Yeah, sure, whatever.
You just gotta pretend you're Blanket
until we can get the real Blanket somewhere
Aren't I too big to be Blanket?
I don't think Mr. Jefferson pays enough
attention to his son to notice. Come
[Blanket's bedroom. Blanket silently cries and the door creaks
Blanket, you in here?
Shh, Blanket, we're gonna take you away
for a little while, okay?
You are? Oh thank you thank you thank
All right dude, get in his bed.
All right, but you guys owe me for
Dude, whatever. At least you finally
get to do something.
[Santa Barbara Police Department, Snetzl's desk. His phone rings
and he picks up]
Santa Barbara Police Department, this
[Park County Police Department, Yeats' desk.]
Hello, this is Sergeant Yeats over at
the Park County Police Department in
Yes, sergeant. What can I do for you?
Well, we've been trying to frame this
guy who just moved into our town, and
the fil-o-fax says he moved from yoru
area. One Martin Jefferson?
Hm. No, we never had a any rich African-Americans
named Jefferson here. If we had, we
would have framed him ourselves.
Well, he doesn't really look that black.
Yeah, I don't uh... Hold on a second.
There was oine we framed a couple of
times, but the black bastard was so
rich he made bail and disappeared before
You say he disappeared? What did you
frame him for?
We uhhh found some kids that had stayed
over at his place, and we asked them
to lie and make up some false molestation
Yeah, it was a lot of work. Took years,
but we were finally able to arrest him.
Then we planted some evidence, took
embarassing photos of his penis, and
threw him in a dirty prison cell with
doodie feces on the walls. You should
have seen him squirm!
That's damn fine police work, sergeant.
Heh yeah, but the point is this guy
didn't really look black either. We
had to sneak in while he was asleep
and get a DNA sample to be sure.
Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! It must be
the same guy!
[The Jefferson house. Cartman knocks on the front door again]
Mr. Jefferson, hello??
[The bathroom. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket prepare a carry-on bag.]
Come on, Blanket! We gotta go before
your dad sees us.
What are you doing with my Blanket?
Come on, Blanket, play with me. Jeechabee
STAN, KYLE, BLANKET
Go go RUUN!
[The Hallway. The boys run towards the stairs]
STAN, KYLE, BLANKET
Wuchatennah! Jamonah! Heehee!
What the hell is going on, you guys?
My Blanket! Let's play, Blanket!
Nonono wait, I'm not Blanket!
Wee, he can fly! He can fly!
Aaaah! Aaaah, stop! A-
Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Blanket? Blanket! Come play!
[The Jefferson house, front lawn. Kyle opens the front door and
the boys exit]
Run Blanket Run!
Dainduh! Dainduh Dainduh!
Hang on, Blanket!
Dugh! Heehee! Ja-!
Freeze, Jefferson! The gig is up! You
are wanted for child mo-les-tation!
No! I am sick and tired of people harassing
Mr. Jefferson! All I've been hearing
since Mr. Jefferson moved here are sick
lies! That he molests children, that
he's a bad father, that he has plastic
Sure, maybe Mr. Jefferson's a little
different. But that's because he had
to work all the time when he was young
and missed out on his childhood. What's
wrong with wanting to have the innocence
and beauty of a child.
All right, let's just say all the bad
things said about Mr. Jefferson are
lies! Let's say the police department
does just go around spending their time
framing people for crimes they didn't
commit! Let's say it's all made up,
and Mr. Jefferson is just a nice guy
who's trying to be a child because he
never got to have a childhood. Well
that's fine, except for that he HAS
children now! And when people have children,
they have to grow up!
You're right. I've been so obsessed
with my childhood that I've forgotten
about his. I thought having lots of
rides and toys was enough, but... Blanket
doesn't need a playmate. He needs a
father, and a normal life. Chickuckoo
gainuh. Blanket, I wanna give away
all my money. I I wanna get a normal
job and... take a shot at raising you
in a normal setting.
Look everybody! I'm a normal little
Well, if you're gonna give away all
your money, then, I guess we can drop
all those charges. No point in putting
another poor black man in jail.
All right! Things just might work out!
Things can always work out, as long
as we know we have the power to change.
We all have the power to change if we search inside our hearts
And we start to heal the wounds of all our yesterdays
And you know it might be hard, but all you've got to do is start,
And you can change all of your evil molesting ways.