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                                     "SOUTH PARK"


                                     Episode 905


                                  "THE LOSING EDGE"


                                      Written by 


                                     Trey Parker





               [A baseball field in scenic Rocky Mountain territory. Stan is 
               on the pitching mound]
 
                                     KYLE
                          This is is, Stan. If you strike this 
                         kid out, we all get to go home.
 
               [Announcer's Booth]

                                     LOCAL ANNOUNCER 1
                         Now batting for Conifer is little Alan 
                         Barkas. 
 
               [The bleachers]

                                     RANDY
                         Heeey batterbatterbatterbatter heydn 
                         no hit no hit can't hit can't hit can't 
                         hit it can't hit it can't hit it.
 
                         
                                     MR. BARKAS
                         Hit it out of the park, Alan! South 
                         Park sucks!
 
                                     MR. DONOVAN
                          Just look at those boys out there, 
                         lovin' the great game of baseball like 
                         we did when we were kids. 
 
               [the field]

                                     KYLE
                         Aw God, I'm so borrred. 

                                     BUTTERS
                         I see a ladybug- Hello lady ladybug. 
                         
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike.

                                     MR. BARKAS
                         That was no strike! What the hell is 
                         wrong with you, ref?
 
                                     RANDY
                         Good call, ref! Good call!

                                     MR. BARKAS
                         Come on, Alan! This pitcher throws like 
                         a girl!
 
                                     RANDY
                         What'd you say?!

                                     MR. BARKAS
                         You heard me, asshole!

                                     RANDY
                         You want me to kick your ass right here?! 
                         
 
                                     SHARON
                         Randy, sit down.

                                     MR. BARKAS
                         You want a piece of me?! 'Cause I'm 
                         pretty sick of your Goddamned mouth!
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                          Whattaya wanna do, huh? Whattaya wanna 
                         do?
 
                                     SHARON
                         Randy, don't!

                                     MR. BARKAS
                         You'd better shut up, asshole!

                                     RANDY
                         I'm standin' right here! How do you 
                         wanna handle it?
 
                                     MR. BARKAS
                         I told you to SHUT UP! 

                                     STAN
                          Aw Jesus, not again.

               [moments later]

                                     KYLE
                         Come on, Stan! Just strike this kid 
                         out so we can end the season! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike three! You're out!

                                     STAN
                         Yes! It's over! It's over!

                                     LOCAL ANNOUNCER 1
                         That's it. South Park wins the game 
                         4 to 0.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                          We're done! No more baseball!

                                     KYLE
                         No more boring baseball until next year!
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         We can start having fun again! 

                                     CARTMAN
                         All right, we did it! 

                                     STAN
                         We did it! We did it!

                                     STEVEN
                          Yeah, we did it, boys! We did it! We're 
                         going to the finals! Woohoo! 
 
                                     STAN
                         ... What?

                                     STEVEN
                         Well we won! That means we've got the 
                         best record in the division! 
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         Congratulations, boys! You're goin' 
                         on to the post-season. Woohoo!
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Post-season?

                                     KYLE
                         Nobody said anything about a post-season.
 
                         
                                     TOM
                          There's more little-league baseball 
                         for South Park! Yehheah! 
 
                                     STAN
                         No... NOOO!!

               [Outside, after the game. Randy is hauled off to a waiting patrol 
               car, drunk and tattered. His pants are down to his ankles]
 
               
                                     RANDY
                         This is for what?! Arresting me for 
                         what?! I'm not allowed to stand up for 
                         myself?! I thought this was America! 
                         Huh?! Isn't this America!? I'm sorry, 
                         I thought this was America! 
 
               [Whistlin' Willy's, night. The boys are gathered there for a 
               pizza dinner]
 
                                     KYLE
                         I can't believe it. I can't believe 
                         we have to keep on playing.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Nobody told us if we win too many games 
                         we'd go on to the finals!
 
                                     STAN
                         Look, you guys, maybe it's not all that 
                         bad.
 
                                     CRAIG
                         Not all that bad?? How could you say 
                         that?! You hate this game more than 
                         any of us!
 
                                     STAN
                         I know, but listen: the finals are all 
                         sudden-deatn elimination, right? That 
                         means as soon as we lose one game, our 
                         season is over.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Well yeah, but... we usually win.

                                     CRAIG
                         All the other teams are worse than us.
 
                         
                                     JIMMY
                         Yeah. Let's face it, we're winners.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         I know we can lose if we try.

                                     KYLE
                         You mean, throw the game? You know how 
                         our parents are about this sport.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                         Yeah. My dad always said "It's Okay 
                         to lose, but if you don't try, wuh you're 
                         grounded, Mister."
 
                                     THE OTHER BOYS
                         Yeah, uh huh.

                                     STAN
                         Okay, so then we'll just tell the other 
                         team quietly that we're gonna let them 
                         win, and then we'll act like we're trying. 
                         Our parents will never know.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         We'd better hope they never know, or 
                         else there's gonna be heck to pay. Heck, 
                         I tell ya!
 
               [At the entrance of Whistlin' Willy's, the adults are gathered, 
               relaxing]
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         Boy, that was great, wasn't it?!

                                     MR. DONOVAN
                         Yeah, our boys really stuck it to 'em! 
                         
 
                                     RANDY
                         Heeey!

                                     MEN
                         Heeey!

                                     STEVEN
                         You're out. 

                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         How much was bail this time? 

                                     STAN
                         Hundred bucks, no big whoop.

                                     RICHARD
                          Boy, you really beat the crap out of 
                         that Conifer dad.
 
                                     RANDY
                         Well somebody had to put that knucklehead 
                         in his place.
 
                                     STEVEN
                         Yeah, well, you'd better watch yourself 
                         in the playoffs.
 
                                     RANDY
                         Wha-what do you mean?

                                     STEVEN
                         I mean, you always get in a fight with 
                         scrappy redneck dats up here in the 
                         mountains, but some of those Division 
                         Two dads are tough!
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         Yeah, those dads get REALLY drunk and 
                         obnoxious.
 
                                     RANDY
                         I can fight anybody. I just need to 
                         train. I just need to get in the best 
                         shape of my life.
 
                                     DJ
                         -the Beatles in the White Album in Helter 
                         Skelter. Okay. 
 
               [Randy rises from the bed and sits up, leaves the bed and shrugs, 
               and wipes his nose a bit. He enters the kitchen, gets a glass, 
               then goes to the refrigerator. He gets three eggs, cracks them 
               open on the rim of the glass, and pours them into the glass. 
               He picks up the glass and moves off a bit, then pours the eggs 
               into a hot pan and scrambles them. He then picks up a beer, drinks, 
               burps, and farts]
 
               [Fort Collins baseball field, night]

                                     FC ANNOUNCER
                         We want to welcome all South Park parents 
                         to Fort Collins, and the Little League 
                         Division One Playoffs. 
 
                                     STAN
                         Uhh, hay guys, look, we don't wanna 
                         win, so uh,  here's a list of all the 
                         pitches I'm gonna throw, in order.
 
                         
                                     FC TEAM
                         Ooooo!

                                     FC FAT PLAYER
                         I don't think so, South Park

                                     FC PITCHER
                         Yeah, you think we wanna win? Then we 
                         have to keep playing this boring game!
 
                         
                                     FC TEAM
                         Yeah!

                                     KYLE
                         You hate this game too?

                                     FC BATTER
                         Yeah! And then we won the stupid regionals 
                         and had to do this lousy-ass tournament!
 
                         
                                     FC CATCHER
                         We wanna play video games.

                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh no!

                                     STAN
                         Look! We're gonna be the losers tonight, 
                         all right?!
 
                                     FC PITCHER
                         I don't think so! There's no way you 
                         can lose to us! We're going doowwn! 
                         We're gonna get creeaamed!
 
                                     KYLE
                         No, we're gonna get creamed!

                                     FC BATTER
                         We'll just see about that!

                                     SP TEAM
                         Oh yeah?

                                     FC TEAM
                         Yeah!

                                     RANDY
                         Oh boy, they're really gettin' into 
                         each others' heads out there.  Yeah! 
                         Let's go, South Park! These Fort Collins 
                         kids got nothin'! Wooo!
 
                                     MR. PRATT
                          Come on, Fort Collins! Let 'em have 
                         it! Yeah!
 
                                     RANDY
                          Guess that's my guy. I can take him, 
                         no problem. 
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         All right, hit one out of the park!
 
                         
                                     FC ANNOUNCER
                         And first up for Fort Collins is... 
                         Morgan Pratt.
 
                                     RANDY
                         Heeey batterbatterbatterbatter batteruuuuuuuupp 
                         batterbatterbatterbatter!
 
                                     MR. PRATT
                         Knock it out of the park, Morgan! Cream 
                         these turds! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Steerike!

                                     RANDY
                         Yeah!

                                     FC TEAM
                         Yeah, all right!

                                     STAN
                         Damnit!

                                     CARTMAN
                          Come on, kid, you gotta at least swing 
                         at it.
 
                                     MORGAN
                         No way! I'm striking out!

                                     KYLE
                         Dude, he's not gonna swing! So just 
                         throw balls. That way he'll have to 
                         walk to first base. 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Ball!

                                     CARTMAN
                         All right! 

                                     FC PITCHER
                         Morgan!

                                     MORGAN
                          What?

                                     FC PITCHER
                         You have to swing when it's a ball, 
                         otherwise, you're gonna walk to first 
                         base. Don't swing, only if it's a strike!
 
                         
                                     MORGAN
                          Well how the Sam Hell am I supposed 
                         to know if he's gonna be throwing a 
                         strike or a ball?!
 
                                     FC PITCHER
                         You just have to guess.

                                     MORGAN
                         Aw, Jesus! 

                                     CARTMAN
                         Ball. Balll. 

                                     UMPIRE
                         Steerike two!

                                     STAN
                         No!

                                     CARTMAN
                         That was no strike, that was a terrible 
                         pitch! You need some Goddamned lasik 
                         surgery!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Attaway, South Park! They ain't swingin' 
                         at nothin'!
 
                                     MR. PRATT
                         Come on Fort Collins! This team can't 
                         pitch!  There you go, Morgan! Run run 
                         run!
 
                                     MORGAN
                         Aw damnit! 

                                     FC PITCHER
                         Why the hell did you swing at it?!
 
                         
                                     MORGAN
                         Well I thought he was gonna throw a 
                         ball that time! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike three! You're out!

                                     FC BATTER 1
                         All right!

               [Later. Fort Collins is pitching; The pitch is wide as Cartman 
               waits at bat]
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Ball four!

                                     CARTMAN
                         What?!

                                     RANDY
                         Walk to first! Woo!

                                     CARTMAN
                          Aw Goddamnit! 

                                     UMPIRE
                         Safe!

                                     KYLE
                         Crud! 

                                     RANDY
                         Fort Collins can't play!

                                     MR. PRATT
                         Why don't you shut your mouth before 
                         I kick your ass!
 
                                     RANDY
                          Come on, let's go! I'm right here!
 
                         
                                     SHARON
                         Randy...

                                     MR. PRATT
                         Sit down before you get hurt!  Mother 
                         bitch! 
 
                                     STAN
                          Goddamnit! 

                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike three! 

                                     FC ANNOUNCER
                         That's it. South Park wins the game. 
                         
 
                                     STAN
                         Aw spit! 

                                     RANDY
                          Oh I'm sorry! Why don'tcha get 'im 
                         on chars in America, I'm sorry!
 
               [Greeley, CO, day, Greeley Field, home of the Tigers. Stan pitches, 
               the Greeley batter chases a pitch]
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike three. You're out.

                                     GREELEY BATTER
                          Yeah!

                                     GREELEY TEAM
                         All right! Yeah! Woohoo!

                                     GREELEY MAN
                         Goddmanit Brian, swing!

                                     RANDY
                         Greeley sucks! Greeley sucks!

               [South Park is up. Its batter sees a ball and doesn't swing]
 
               
                                     UMPIRE
                         Ball four!

                                     BUTTERS
                         Aw hamburgers. 

                                     SP TEAM
                         God! 

               [on the field. The Greeley batter doesn't swing]

                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike three!

                                     CARTMAN
                         How the hell was that a strike?!  Goddamnit, 
                         he's going to first!
 
               [After the game. Randy is hauled off a third time]

                                     RANDY
                         What, is this a Communist country or 
                         something?! I thought this was America!
 
                         
               [Pueblo, CO. day. A Pueblo batter swings and misses]

                                     UMPIRE
                         ˇStrrrrike tres!

                                     PUEBLO TEAM
                         Bueno bueno! Bueno! Espectacular!

                                     PUEBLO DAD
                         ˇVamonos Pueblo! ˇViva la Pueblo!

                                     RANDY
                          ˇPueblo, no bueno! ˇPueblo es muy mal! 
                         
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         ˇBall cuatro, por favor! 

                                     RANDY
                         This is America! This is an honest America!
 
                         
               [Whistlin' Willy's. The team is at table again, but with a trophy 
               they didn't want. The adults begin to approach them]
 
                                     STEVEN
                         Can you believe it, boys?! We're playing 
                         in the State Championship Game! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         We're so proud of you kids!

                                     CARTMAN
                         What happens if we win the State Championship 
                         game?
 
                                     STEVEN
                         Well, then your whole season starts 
                         over, but on the national circuit! You 
                         get to spend your whole summer playing 
                         baseball!
 
                                     KYLE
                         What??

                                     MR. DONOVAN
                         You could do it, kids! We know you can 
                         win State!
 
                                     STEVEN
                         Then we'll spend the whole summer going 
                         to Nebraska, and to Iowa, and Wyoming.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Oh no. No, no, no!

               [Outside the restaurant, day. Randy stands by the curb looking 
               into space. He has a black eye. The doors open and Stan walks 
               out]
 
                                     STAN
                         Dad? Dad, we need to talk.

                                     RANDY
                          Can you believe it, Stan? State Championship 
                         game. It's... the greatest thing ever.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                          Goddamnit. 

                                     RANDY
                         I've worked hard, believed in myself, 
                         and now I'm gonna be fighting in a State 
                         Championship game.  This is gonna be 
                         the biggest fight of my life.
 
               [South Park News]

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         This is News 4, at noon.

               [Coors Field, in Denver]

                                     ANCHOR TOM
                         The Colorado Little League State Championship 
                         is being played this week. Two teams 
                         of youngsters get to go head to head 
                         at the major-league stadium downtown.
 
                         
                                     REPORTER
                         Tom, I'm standing here with the little 
                         sluggers and some of their parents, 
                         and I can;t tell you how excited they 
                         are.
 
                                     STAN
                         I don't suppose you guys want to win 
                         this game.
 
                                     DENVER PLAYER
                         Win? Why the hell would we want to win?
 
                         
                                     DENVER PLAYER 2
                         Yeah. Then we'd have to play this boring 
                         game all summer.
 
                                     REPORTER
                          Little Stan Marsh is the pitcher for 
                         the South Park Little League team, and 
                         Stan, how does it feel to be playing 
                         for the State Championship?
 
                                     STAN
                         Gay.

                                     REPORTER
                         Mr. Marsh, you must be very proud of 
                         your son.
 
                                     RANDY
                         They've worked really hard to get here, 
                         Chris, and, you know, I don't like to 
                         really "trash-talk," but, I don't think 
                         Denver has a chance.
 
                                     REPORTER CHRIS
                         Oho, well, I'm sure some of the Denver 
                         kids' parents would disagree with you 
                         and your team-
 
                                     BAT DAD
                          Oh yeah! Oh yeah!  South Park is goin' 
                         down! Feel it comin'!  You ain't got 
                         a chance, South Park! Here we go, Denver, 
                         here we go! Huh, huh!
 
                                     KYLE'S MOTHER
                         Who's that?

                                     A WOMAN
                         That's Tom Nelson, one of the Denver 
                         players' fathers. He goes to every game 
                         in that ridiculous outfit and usually 
                         drinks too much and gets into a fight.
 
                         
                                     TOM NELSON
                         There ain't no way some little mountain 
                         kids can beat Denver. Not with my son 
                         on second base!
 
                                     REPORTER CHRIS
                         Oho, looks like we got some parental 
                         trash talking going on here. Mr. Marsh, 
                         any comments?
 
                                     RANDY
                         Well I think that there's a uh...

                                     TOM NELSON
                         Mr. Marsh?? Who wants to hear from a 
                         Mr. Marsh?! Iii am the ultimate Little 
                         League trash-talking father! Iii am 
                         the Bat Dad!
 
                                     DENVER COP
                          All right, Mr. Nelson, let's go, come 
                         on.
 
                                     TOM NELSON
                         Bat Dad knows no fear! Bat Dad knows 
                         no pain! I want you, Marsh! I want you!!
 
                         
                                     REPORTER CHRIS
                         Well, tension is certainly high here, 
                         but I guess everything will be decided 
                         on the playing field.
 
                                     RANDY
                          Oh my God.

                                     DENVER PLAYER 3
                         Good luck! You're gonna need it.

                                     DENVER PLAYER 4
                         Yeah, you can't lose to us. We're terrible. 
                         
 
                                     KYLE
                         Dude, what are we gonna do?? We can't 
                         win this game.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Wiat. I've got it, you guys. A fifth 
                         point in a sports movie, the team always 
                         goes out and finds a really sweet player 
                         to join their team.
 
                                     CLYDE
                         Like that motorcycle kid in Bad News 
                         Bears.
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Exactly right, Clyde. So what we need... 
                         is to find somebody to join our team, 
                         who totally sucks ass.
 
                                     STAN
                         Hey yeah. We need to find the very worst 
                         kid athlete in the whole world. Somebody 
                         who can't possibly win.
 
                                     CRAIG
                         But who?

                                     KYLE
                         I know who.

               [The airport, day]

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         Announcing the arrival of flight six 
                         seven three, from New York City. 
 
                         
                                     KYLE 1
                         I'm baaack!

                                     KYLE
                         There he is! Now, don't let him know 
                         we think he's a loser, or else he won't 
                         play. 
 
                                     KYLE 1
                         Hello, cousin Kyle. Oh Jesus, that flight 
                         was terrible. They served a chicken 
                         dish with hot sauce and it gave me gas.
 
                         
                                     KYLE
                         Dude, thanks for helping us out by joining 
                         our team.
 
                                     KYLE 1
                         Well, you said you needed my help to 
                         win the big game, so here I am. I'll 
                         need a wipe cloth if I'm gonna play, 
                         though. Sometimes I sweat from holding 
                         the bat for so long and then the heat 
                         steams up my glasses.
 
                                     CRAIG
                         He's perfect.

                                     STAN
                         Yeah, with him on our team, we don't 
                         stand a chance.
 
               [Coors Field. No one is in there except Randy, who walks along 
               the stands looking around. He sees a sign that sais "Colorado 
               Little League State Championship." He moves along. Next, he's 
               at a beach far from Colorado looking at the sunset. He sneaks 
               back into his bedroom as Sharon sleeps, closes the door softly, 
               and sits on the side of the bed.]
 
                                     RANDY
                          ...I'm not gonna go. 

                                     SHARON
                         What?

                                     RANDY
                         Stan's little league game, I'm... I'm 
                         not gonna go.
 
                                     SHARON
                         Why?

                                     RANDY
                         I just... don't think I can, all right?
 
                         
                                     SHARON
                         You don't think you can?! This is the 
                         biggest game of your son's life! Wny 
                         wouldn't you go and support him? What-? 
                         
 
                                     RANDY
                         Because I'm scared, all right?!  You 
                         wanna break me down?! You wanna hear 
                         me say it?! I'm scared! I don't know 
                         if I believe in myself anymore.  I don't 
                         know if I can take this guy, Sharon.
 
                         
                                     SHARON
                         So then, don't. You don't have to get 
                         in fights with other parents at Little 
                         League games! Just sit there and watch!
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         Look, I get what you're trying to do. 
                         You're trying to get me to realize that 
                         I have to fight him because it's who 
                         I am.
 
                                     SHARON
                         No, I'm telling you you don't have to 
                         get thrown out of games and make an 
                         ass of yourself.
 
                                     RANDY
                         I've lost the edge. I'm sorry, Sharon. 
                         But you have to take Stan to his Little 
                         League game alone. 
 
               [Coors Field, day]

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         Welcoem to the Colorado Little League 
                         State Championship Game!  This must 
                         be pretty exciting for these youngsters. 
                         A chance to go to the national circuit. 
                         
 
                                     DENVER PITCHER
                         You know what these guys look like to 
                         me? A bunch of winners!
 
                                     DENVER CATCHER
                         Yeah! We're about to get our asses kicked!
 
                         
                                     CARTMAN
                         I don't think so! You guys are way too 
                         good! You're the best at this game!
 
                         
                                     DENVER PITCHER
                         You're the best!

                                     KYLE
                         You guys are so good you'll probably 
                         go all the way to win the national title!
 
                         
                                     DENVER PITCHER
                         Not a chance, 'cause we're gonna lose 
                         to you right now!
 
                                     BAT DAD
                         Here we go, Denver! These South Park 
                         kids got nothin' on you! Let's go, Denver!
 
                         
                                     WOMAN
                         Chris, will you sit down?

                                     ANNOUNCER
                          First up to bat for South Park, Kyle 
                         Schwartz. 
 
                                     KYLE 1
                          Where do I stand?

                                     UMPIRE
                         R-right over here. 

                                     KYLE 1
                         Don't throw the ball too fast, because 
                         I might get startled and I have asthma. 
                         
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike 1!

                                     SP TEAM
                         Yeah! All right!

                                     KYLE 1
                         Jesus, not so close! That was three 
                         feet from hitting me in the head!
 
                         
                                     SECOND BASEMAN
                         He's not gonna swing! Throw balls!
 
                         
                                     KYLE 1
                          Oh Jesus!

                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike 2!

                                     SP TEAM
                         Yeah!

                                     STAN
                         Wow, he IS great at sucking.

                                     CARTMAN
                          We're gonna lose! We're gonna lose!
 
                         
                                     KYLE 1
                         Don't throw it so hard or so close next 
                         time! Is it cold out here? I think I 
                         need a jacket. 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         It's a bunt!

                                     MR. DONOVAN
                         Run kid, run!

                                     KYLE 1
                         Oh Jesus! 

                                     KYLE
                         Aw crap! 

                                     KYLE 1
                          I can't, I can't keep running like 
                         this! I have corns in my feet!
 
                                     STEVEN
                         Keep running, kid! 

                                     BAT DAD
                         Throw the ball to third, you idiots! 
                         He's runnin' home! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Safe! 

                                     KYLE 1
                         Oh Jesus, did you see that?? I hit a 
                         homerun! High-five, everybody! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Oh my God... their pitcher was able 
                         to hit him right on the bat.
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude, we had it all wrong. While we 
                         spent all our time trying to make our 
                         tean suck, these guys practiced and 
                         got really good at sucking. 
 
                                     TOKEN
                         No!

                                     MR. WILLIAMS
                         Yeeaahh! Go Token go!

               [Denver is up to bat]

                                     BAT DAD
                         All right, Denver! You're up to bat 
                         now! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Out!

                                     DENVER TEAM
                         Yaaay!

                                     KYLE
                         Jesus Christ! They can bat themselves 
                         out!  Our whole summer, dude. We have 
                         to play this boring game all summer 
                         long.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Son of a biscuit!

               [Coors field, later]

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         It's the bottom of the last inning here 
                         at Coors Field; the score is South Park 
                         23, Denver 0. 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike 1!

                                     BAT DAD
                         Come on, Denver! Get the lead out! Do 
                         not cross the Bat Daaad!
 
                                     KYLE'S FATHER
                         Geez I realy wish this guy would shut 
                         up.
 
                                     BAT DAD
                         Why don't you just go home, South Park? 
                         You can't beat Denver!
 
                                     A VOICE
                         Denver sucks ass!  Come on, South Park! 
                         These kids can't play! In fact, these 
                         kids are terrible! 
 
                                     UMPIRE
                         Strike 2!

                                     KYLE 1
                         Oh Jesus, we're gonna win! I I never 
                         won a sport before; this is so exciting.
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         It's over, Denver! South Park whupped 
                         your ass!
 
                                     BAT DAD
                         You'd better shut your mouth before 
                         I shut it for you!
 
                                     RANDY
                          What do you wanna do, huh? 

                                     STAN
                          This can't get any worse. 

                                     BAT DAD
                          Now for the finishing move! You're 
                         about to be Bat-Dadded! 
 
                                     COMMENTATOR
                         It all comes down to this! South Park 
                         is just one pitch away from being State 
                         Champions.  Oh geez, it looks like two 
                         parents are fighting. They'd better 
                         be careful. The Little League has a 
                         no-tolerance policy.
 
                                     UMPIRE
                          Stop! Stop, or you're gonna get your 
                         teams disqualified!
 
                                     STAN
                          Disqualified?  Fight! Keep fighting! 
                         
 
                                     UMPIRE 2
                         Break it up! Break it up!  That's enough! 
                         The next person that fights is getting 
                         his team disqualified!
 
                                     BAT DAD
                         He's done for anyway. 

                                     STAN
                         Come on, Dad! Get up!

                                     KYLE
                         Get up! You have to fight! 

                                     UMPIRE 2
                         All right, come on! Let's play ball!
 
                         
                                     SP TEAM
                         Randy! Randy! Randy!

                                     MICKEY
                         Get up, Randy! Get up, ya bum!

                                     SHARON
                         Get up, Randy! Fight! Fight for me!
 
                         
                                     CROWD
                         Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! 
                         Randy! Randy! Randy!
 
                                     RANDY
                          Hey Bat Dad!  I didn't hear no bell.
 
                         
                                     SP TEAM
                         Yeah! 

                                     UMPIRE 2
                         Stop, stop right now!  I'm warning you, 
                         sir!  That's it! That's it! South Park 
                         is disqualified!
 
                                     SP TEAM
                         Yeah!

                                     SP ADULTS
                         Aww!

                                     COMMENTATOR
                         South Park has been disqualified from 
                         the game! Denver wins! 
 
                                     KYLE 1
                         We... We lost.

                                     RANDY
                          What? I thought this was a free country! 
                         
 
                                     STAN
                         Dad!  You're the greatest. 

               THE END

The Losing Edge



Writers :   Trey Parker
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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