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                                     "SOUTH PARK"


                                     Episode 804


                               "YOU GOT F'D IN THE A"


                                      Written by 


                                     Trey Parker





               [A parking lot somewhere in South Park, day. The boys are playing 
               with motorized toy cars]
 
                                     CARTMAN
                         Dude, these little remote-controlled 
                         cars are kickass. 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Sweet. I made mine go off the jump. 
                         
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude, my car sucks. I gotta get a new 
                         one. 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Hey, who are those kids? 

                                     BOOMBOX
                         Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've 
                         got nothin' on me!
 
               Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've got nothin' on me!

               Let's see you...! Let's see you...!

               Let's see you...! Let's see you...!

               Daaance, sucka!

               
               [brief instrumental]

               
               Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've got nothin' on me!

               Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've got nothin' on me!

               Let's see you daaance-

                                     OC LEADER
                          Yeah, how you like that y'all! 

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                          Let's bring it to these losers.

                                     OC GIRL
                         Aww yeah! 

                                     OC LEADER
                         Whatchoo got, huh?! You got nothin'! 
                          Damn! You just got served!  Aww man! 
                         
 
                                     OC GIRL
                         He got you, dude.

                                     OC LEADER
                         Now that kid is gettin' served!

                                     OC GIRL
                         Uh huh. 

                                     OC
                         Whoa! 

                                     OC LEADER
                         Aww man, look at them! They know they 
                         can't trip to that!  Yeah! We're outta 
                         here!
 
                                     OC MEMBER 2
                          That was smokin'!

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                          They didn't do nothin'!

                                     OC MEMBER 3
                          Sorry y'all, but tru not to let it 
                         sting too bad! 
 
                                     OC LEADER
                          You got served!  Come on! They had 
                         nothin'! Let's go y'all!
 
                                     OC MEMBER
                         Come on y'all! 

                                     KYLE
                         ...What the hell just happened?

               [Chef's house, later. Stan rings the doorbell]

                                     CHEF
                         Oh. Hello there, children!

                                     STAN
                         Chef, we just got served.

                                     CHEF
                         Oh boy... Well come on inside, children. 
                         I'll make you some cocoa.
 
               [Chef's house, living room. Chef shows the children to the couch]
 
               
                                     CHEF
                         Have a seat, children. Just try to relax 
                         and breathe.  Are you all okay?
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yeah.

                                     CHEF
                         All right. Now, where did you get served?
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Over at the True Value parking lot. 
                         There were just these kids we never 
                         saw before showed up and they were like, 
                         really good dancers and, we don't really 
                         understand what it means, but I guess-
 
                         
                                     CHEF
                         Okay okay, relax children. Relax. It's 
                         all over now. Just try to calm down 
                         and sit tight.  I'm gonna call your 
                         parents and let them know you're okay. 
                          Mrs. Marsh? Hi, it's Chef. Yeah, I'm 
                         good. Listen: Stan and his friends just 
                         got served. Yeah. Yeah, over at the 
                         True Value. No no, he's fine. They're 
                         all fine. Yeah, it was some kids from 
                         out of town. Apparently they were pretty 
                         good dancers. They really let 'em have 
                         it.
 
               [Stan's house, that night. The family is at the dining table. 
               Sharon brings a large dish over to Stan]
 
                                     SHARON
                         Here, Stanley, I made your favorite 
                         potato dish. I want you to feel better, 
                         okay. 
 
                                     RANDY
                         What's the matter with him?

                                     SHARON
                         Oh. Stan got served at school today.
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         You got served? By who?

                                     STAN
                         Some, kids from Orange County.

                                     SHARON
                         Let's not make a big deal out of it.
 
                         
                                     RANDY
                         So wha- so what'd you do? D'you dance 
                         back?
 
                                     STAN
                         No.

                                     RANDY
                         What? Yo-you got served and just stood 
                         there and took it??
 
                                     SHARON
                         That was the right thing to do.

                                     RANDY
                         Naw, that's crap, Sharon! Stanley, when 
                         somebody challenges you to dance, you 
                         have to dance back at them, or else 
                         they'll think you're weak.
 
                                     STAN
                         But Dad, I don't know how to dance or 
                         nothin'.
 
                                     RANDY
                          Well then, it's about time you learned! 
                          Put on some loose-fitting clothes and 
                         meet me in the garage!
 
                                     STAN
                         But Dad-

                                     RANDY
                         Now! 

               [Stan's house, garage. Stan and Randy are present. Randy is dressed 
               in sweats, Stan is dressed in sweat pants and sleeveless T-shirt. 
               Randy puts a CD into a stereo system.]
 
                                     RANDY
                         All right son, dancing is all about 
                         a frame of mind. Now, I'm not telling 
                         you to go around challenging other kids 
                         to dance, but when they challenge you, 
                         you just look 'em straight in the eye, 
                         and give 'em this.  Come on, Stan.  
                         ...six, seven, eight. 
 
               [South Park, day, Luau's Toys. Stan and his friends exit and 
               walk down the street]
 
                                     KYLE
                         Dude, that is a sweet RC car.

                                     STAN
                          Yeah, let's go race it right now. 
 
                         
                                     OC MEMBER 2
                         Well, what we got here?

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         It's the white boys that were served 
                         yesterday. 
 
                                     OC LEADER
                         You want a little more, homeboys?

                                     KYLE
                         We're not interested, thanks.

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                          You're not interesetd? Not interested 
                         in this?? 
 
                                     BOOMBOX
                         You can't step to my roots, so don't 
                         try it.
 
               You canít burn with my group so donít light it.

               I'm on the OC crew and I'm better than you.

               You like to suck my balls, don't deny it.

               You can't bop her like me so don't go there.

               You never find a bigger bitch player nowhere.

               I put my jimmy in a ho, put off soul.

               I'm a good listener and that's rare.

                                     BLACK MAN
                         Oh Lord, look at those moves.

                                     BLACK WOMAN
                         Oooo, they are takin' it out!

                                     BLACK MAN 2
                         Oh man, they are getting served!

                                     BLACK WOMAN 2
                         Ooooo, it's getting hot out here!

                                     BLACK MAN 3
                         Have mercih! 

                                     OTHERS
                         Oooooo, look at that! Lord! Gettin' 
                         served! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         Yeah! Go Stan!

                                     CHEF
                         Oh no!  No, stop Stan! You don't know 
                         what you're doin'! 
 
                                     KYLE
                         All right Stan!

                                     CARTMAN
                         HA! You just got f'd in the a!

                                     OC LEADER
                         Wha?

                                     KYLE
                         Yeah! YOU got served!

                                     KENNY
                         Woohoo.

                                     CARTMAN
                         Yeah!

                                     KYLE
                         That's right!

                                     CARTMAN
                         All right!

                                     KENNY
                         Woo woo.

                                     CHEF
                          No no no!

                                     OC LEADER
                         Okay. All right. We got served. So now, 
                         I guess... It's on.
 
                                     STAN
                         What?

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         This Saturday! Our top five dancers 
                         against yoru top five dancers! OC Convention 
                         Center. It's on!
 
                                     OC MEMBERS
                         It's on! It's on! It's on! It's on!
 
                         
                                     TOWNSMAN
                          Oh Lord it's on!

                                     CHEF
                         Oh damnit! I knew that was gonna happen.
 
                         
                                     OC MEMBER 3
                         We'll see you Saturday, fools! 

                                     OC MEMBERS
                         Yeah, and you'd better have a lot better 
                         dancers with you than those loozas! 
                         'Cause it's on!
 
                                     OC MEMBERS
                         It's on! It's on! It's on! It's on! 
                         
 
                                     CHEF
                         Stan, what the hell did you dance back 
                         for??
 
                                     STAN
                         I thought I was supposed to!

                                     CHEF
                         Now you've gotta compete against them 
                         in the dance competition on Saturday!
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         But why??

                                     CHEF
                         Because if you get served and served 
                         them back, then it's on! Don't you know 
                         anything??
 
               [Stan's house, breakfast nook. Randy is filling out checks for 
               his bills]
 
                                     SHARON
                          Well, nice going, Randy! Really great 
                         advice you gave our son here!
 
                                     RANDY
                          What?

                                     SHARON
                         Those kids showed up to serve Stan again 
                         and he danced back!
 
                                     RANDY
                         So what happened?

                                     SHARON
                         It's on! 

               [OC Convention Center, day. A large screen over the Center says 
               "Bounce" while a sign closer to the viewer says "This Saturday, 
               7 PM, Orange County VS. South Park, Dance Competition. It's On!!!!" 
               Inside, preparations are made for the competition. On the floor, 
               the OC crew practices its move under their coach's supervision]
 
               
                                     COACH
                          Come on now, keep it tight!  Good. 
                         Now watch that timing, drill team! 
 
                         
                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         All right!

                                     OC GIRL
                          All right!

                                     OC LEADER
                         Yeah, bad ass!

                                     OC MEMBER 2
                         Yeah, that was tight!

                                     COACH
                         Not bad, kids. Not bad. 

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         Not bad? South Park doesn't stand a 
                         chance!
 
                                     OC GIRL
                         I heard that!

                                     COACH
                         All right, it was good. But we don't 
                         want "good," we want pain!
 
                                     RANDY
                         Uh ex, excuse me.

                                     COACH
                          Yeah?

                                     RANDY
                         Hi, uh, my name is Randy Marsh. I'm 
                         I'm Stan Marsh's father.
 
                                     COACH
                         Oh, so you're the father of the boy 
                         who's gonna get f'd in the a on Saturday?
 
                         
                                     OC MEMBER 3
                         Dang!

                                     OC LEADER
                         Oooooo!

                                     RANDY
                         Uh, listen. Ih, it was my fault that 
                         Stanley served your boys the other day. 
                         Uh, I told him to do it and I... Weh 
                         well look I, I just came down here to 
                         tell you... Ih it's not on.
 
                                     COACH
                         Oh, it's on!

                                     RANDY
                         Nonono, it's not on.

                                     COACH
                         Whoo, it's on all right!

                                     RANDY
                         It isn't on. Nothing's on. It's off.
 
                         
                                     COACH
                          It's on!

                                     RANDY
                         I'm keeping my son home on Saturday. 
                         I just came by to let you know so you 
                         can... put a stup to all this. Good 
                         bye. 
 
                                     COACH
                         Hold on a second, clamhead!  You think 
                         you can just roll in here and tell us 
                         it's not on when it very clearly is 
                         on?! You're just trying to make us not 
                         practice, aren't you?! Because you KNOW 
                         that your kids are goin' down when my 
                         kids give them this! Give me some moves 
                         out, Girl T!  Check this out!  Yeah! 
                         You like that?!
 
                                     OC LEADER
                         Oooo man! 

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         Ohhh Lord! 

                                     OC LEADER
                         Oooo, he is gettin' served! 

               [Hell's Pass Hospital, day. Randy is recovering in a room. He's 
               got breathing tubes in his nose and his eyes are squeezed shut. 
               His friends surround him]
 
                                     RANDY
                         Aw, mph! Uuuugh-ah.

                                     SHARON
                          Randy?  Randy, oh my God!

                                     SKEETER
                         What happened to him, Doctor?

                                     DR. DOCTOR
                         He got served. Worst I've ever seen.
 
                         
                                     JIMBO
                         Old fool went down to the OC to try 
                         to reason with the other team, and he 
                         got served up somethin' fierce.
 
                                     CHEF
                         Oh Lord...

                                     RANDY
                          His dancing was so fast I ...couldn't 
                         do anything. His moves were... so original, 
                         so inventive.  Ungh! Grrgh.
 
                                     NURSE
                          Shh relax, Mr. Marsh. 

                                     DR. DOCTOR
                         We just got the X-rays back.  He mostly 
                         got served here  and here . But the 
                         worst serving was here in the pelvic 
                         region. The road to recovery will be 
                         a long one.
 
                                     JIMBO
                         Boy. You must really wanna take to to 
                         those Orange County kids now, huh Stan?
 
                         
                                     SKEETER
                         Are you kiddin'? Stan is probably ready 
                         to pounce on them after what they did 
                         to his father! 
 
                                     STAN
                         I, I don't know. He seems all right.
 
                         
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         I could only imagine the rage building 
                         inside you, Stan. I bet you can't wait 
                         to outdance those OC bastards!
 
                                     RANDY
                          Stan?? Stan??

                                     STAN
                          Yeahh I'm I'm right here, Dad.

                                     RANDY
                         Stan, listen to me. I don't want you 
                         feeling like you have to do that competition 
                         now to avenge me.
 
                                     STAN
                         Okay, good.

                                     RANDY
                          But I know I can't stop you from doing 
                         it. So all I can say is... give 'em 
                         hell, son. Give 'em hell. 
 
                                     STAN
                          God damnit!

               [Loading dock at South Park Elementary, day. Stan walks over 
               and finds the Goths there, as usual. Henrietta reads a book]
 
               
                                     STAN
                         Hey guys. Uh. You guys know how to dance, 
                         right?
 
                                     TALL GOTH
                          Of course we know how to dance.

                                     STAN
                         Cool, because, there's this competition 
                         on Saturday, and I have to find the 
                         very best dancers in South Park to be 
                         on my crew. My friends can't do it because 
                         they suck ass, so, will you be in my 
                         dance troupe?
 
                                     RED GOTH
                         Dance troupe? Please.  We don't dance 
                         like those Britney and Justin wannabes 
                         at school.  Goth kids dance to express 
                         pain and suffering.
 
                                     TALL GOTH
                         Yeah.  The only cool way to dance is 
                         to keep your hands at your sides and 
                         your eyes looking at the ground. Then 
                         every three seconds you take a drag 
                         from your cigarette. 
 
                                     STAN
                         Okay, that'll work fine. Listen, there's 
                         a dance competition this Saturday and 
                         I need good dancers so I don't get served.
 
                         
                                     RED GOTH
                          No way. Dancing is something you do 
                         alone in your room at three in the morning.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                          Please, you guys, our whole town's 
                         reputation is at stake! Will any of 
                         you do it?
 
                                     RED GOTH
                         I'm not doin' it. Being in a dance group 
                         is totally conformist.
 
                                     HENRIETTA
                         Yeah. I'm not conforming to some dance-off 
                         regulations.
 
                                     LITTLE GOTH
                         I'm not doin' it either. I'm the biggest 
                         nonconformist of all.
 
                                     TALL GOTH
                         I'm such a nonconformist that I'm not 
                         going to conform with the rest of you. 
                         Okay, I'll do it. 
 
                                     STAN
                         Great! 

                                     HENRIETTA
                         Whoa. I think we just got put in our 
                         place.
 
                                     RED GOTH
                         Yeah. We just got Goth-served.

               [The neighborhood. Stan and the tall Goth walk down the street]
 
               
                                     STAN
                         All right, we gotta find three other 
                         kids that can dance.
 
                                     TALL GOTH
                         We should go to the arcade. 

                                     STAN
                         The arcade?

                                     TALL GOTH
                         Yeah. There's this Asian kid name Yao. 
                         He's an expert at that Dance Dance Revolution 
                         game.
 
               [The Sinistarcade. A Dancin' Dancin' Dancin' Machine game is 
               prominently shown, and an Asian boy dances furiously on the foot 
               pad on the right. The arrows indicate which foot buttons the 
               boy should be stepping on. He's hit every one, so his score is 
               perfect. Stan and the tall Goth look on]
 
                                     STAN
                         Dude, he's incredible.

                                     TALL GOTH
                         He should be. He's here playing that 
                         game every single day after school. 
                         I think he's spent about six thousand 
                         dollars on it so far. 
 
                                     STAN
                          Hey kid, you're pretty good. How would 
                         you like to join our dance troupe?
 
                         
                                     YAO
                         You mean, dancing without a machine 
                         telling you what to do?
 
                                     STAN
                         Yeah.

                                     YAO
                         That's stupid. 

                                     STAN
                          Dude, we need you.

                                     YAO
                         I can't dance without the machine.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         It's all right. My friend Chef is gonna 
                         coach us.
 
                                     YAO
                         Okay. I'll give it a shot.

                                     STAN
                         All right, that's three!

                                     TALL GOTH
                         Dude, we need a girl.

                                     STAN
                         Huh?

                                     TALL GOTH
                         We can't be a dance troupe with just 
                         guys. People will think we're fags.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Oh yeah.  Wait a minute. I know just 
                         where to go!
 
               [Raisins. Happy Hour all day!!! Inside the little waitresses 
               go about their work. Two of them dance asscheek to asscheek, 
               shaking their asses in rhythmic unison. Mercedes dances her ass 
               off to a boy, who looks on in bliss]
 
                                     PORSCHE
                         Hi guys, welcome to Raisins. Three of 
                         you?
 
                                     STAN
                         Ah actually we were just hoping we could 
                         talk to you guys real quick.
 
                                     MAURY
                         You have to buy wings if you wanna talk 
                         to the Raisins girls. 
 
                                     STAN
                         And so we're putting all the best dancers 
                         in South Park together to beat Orange 
                         County.
 
                                     MERCEDES
                          Wow, that sounds great. I always wanted 
                         to try my dancing somewhere else.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         So you'll do it?

                                     MERCEDES
                         Why not?

                                     STAN
                         All right, we just need one more person!
 
                         
                                     MERCEDES
                         Hey, we should get that kid that was 
                         state champion in tap dancing.
 
                                     STAN
                         What? The state tap champion is from 
                         here? Who?
 
                                     MERCEDES
                         I think his name was...  Leopold... 
                         Stotch or something?
 
                                     STAN
                         Leopold Stotch...? Wait a minute. You 
                         mean...
 
               [Butters' house, day. He's at the kitchen assembling a toy car]
 
               
                                     BUTTERS
                         Loo loo loo, I've got some apples. Loo 
                         loo loo, you've got some too. Loo loo 
                         loo, I've-
 
                                     LINDA
                          Butters, you have some visitors. 
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          Oh well hi there everybody. 

                                     STAN
                         Butters, listen. There's gonna be a 
                         competition this Saturday, and we want 
                         you to join our troupe.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Wow, neato, a competiton? Why, I'd love 
                         to. What kind of competition is it?
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         It's a dance-off. We heard you were 
                         tap dancing state champion two years 
                         ago. 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         ...No.

                                     STAN
                         But, you were, weren't you? Y-you went 
                         to the nationals in Nebraska.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         No.  No no nono no no, no!  No! No no 
                         no no!
 
                                     LINDA
                         Butters?  Butters?? 

                                     STAN
                         We just asked him to join our dance 
                         troupe. We heard he was state tap champion.
 
                         
                                     LINDA
                         Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry kids, it's just 
                         that... Butters hasn't danced since 
                         the tragedy.
 
                                     MERCEDES
                         A tragedy?

                                     BUTTERS
                          Waaaaah!

                                     LINDA
                         I'm sorry, kids, you'll have to go.
 
                         
               [Outside. The kids leave Butters' house and make their way to 
               the sidewalk]
 
                                     STAN
                         Damnit, where are we gonna get our fifth 
                         member?
 
                                     YAO
                         Hey I heard about this guy in Cuomo 
                         who has a duck that can dance.
 
                                     STAN
                         A duck? Dude, don't be stupid! Those 
                         OC kids are professional dancers! Now 
                         come on, there's gotta be one other 
                         talneted person in South Park.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Aaaaah!  Aaaaah!

               [A ranch. Stan and his troupe arrive]

                                     STAN
                         All right, so you're sure he can dance?
 
                         
                                     RANCHER
                         Oh yeah. There he is. That's Jeffy.
 
                         
                                     YAO
                         That don't look like a dancing duck 
                         to me.
 
                                     RANCHER
                         Well, that's 'cause it needs music. 
                         Here y-here ya go, Jeffy. 
 
               You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honeeey.

               You'll do a line and I'll do a line, babe.

               [the duck rises and begins to dance]

               You'll do a line and I'll do a line, we'll fight an' screw 'til 
               the mornin' time.
 
               Honey, babe, be mine.

               
               You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honey- 

                                     STAN
                         Ih ih Is that the only song he'll dance 
                         to?
 
                                     RANCHER
                         No no, he'll dance to anything. See?
 
                         
               You'll snort K and I'll snort K, honeeey.

               You'll snort K and I'll snort K, babe.

               You'll snort K and I'll snort K, we'll fight an' screw all night 
               and day.
 
               Honey, babe, be mine.

                                     STAN
                         My friends, I think we have ourselves 
                         a dance troupe.
 
               [Butters' house, day. Linda walks up the stairs to Butters' room 
               and knocks on the door.]
 
                                     LINDA
                         Butters? Butters? Come on, sweetie, 
                         it's gonna be okay.  Come on, Butters. 
                         You went through a lot of therapy for 
                         this. That was almost two years ago, 
                         sweetie.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Two years ago. Two years ago!

               [the camera goes into Butters' eye and a memory of the finals 
               two years prior comes up. A girl dances, finishes, and takes 
               several curtsies]
 
                                     ANNOUNCER
                         That was Beverly Long from Indianapolis, 
                         folks. Let her hear it!  All right, 
                         and now, dancing to the song "I've Got 
                         Something In My Front Pocket For You," 
                         here is Colorado state champion, Leopold 
                         "Butters" Stotch! 
 
                                     SINGER
                         I've got something in my front pocket 
                         for you
 
               Why don't you reach down in my pocket and see what it is

               Then grab onto it, it's just for you

               Give a little squeeze and say, "How do you do?"

               There's something in my front pocket, There's something in my 
               front pocket,
 
               There's something in my front pocket-

                                     BUTTERS
                          Whoops. 

                                     WOMAN
                         Paul. Paul! 

                                     BUTTERS
                         Wuuuhaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah!  No! Nooo! 
                         Noooooooooooooooo!
 
               [South Park, day. Chef approaches Lamont's Dance Studio with 
               his boombox and duffle bag]
 
                                     CHEF
                         All right, children, let's get to rehearsin'! 
                          We don't have much time, and you've 
                         got to become the dance group you can 
                         be.  I think we should-  Whoa.  This... 
                         is the dance troupe?
 
                                     STAN
                         Yeah, dude, the best dancers South Park 
                         has to offer.
 
                                     CHEF
                          Oh boy.  All right, well, why don't 
                         you show me what you got? I wanna see 
                         what you kids can do! 
 
                                     BOOMBOX
                         You can't step to my roots, so don't 
                         try it.
 
               You canít burn with my group so donít light it.

               I'm on the Eastside crew and I'm better than you.

               You like to suck my balls, don't deny it.

               You can't bop her like me so don't go there.

               You never find a bigger bitch player nowhere.

               I put my jimmy in a ho, put off soul.

               I'm a good listener and that's rare.

                                     CHEF
                         Oh Lord have mercy.  Children, children! 
                         No no, you've got it all wrong. Don't 
                         you see, children? You have the heart, 
                         but you don't have the soul. Nono, wait. 
                         You have the soul, but you don't have 
                         the heart.  Nono, scratch that. You 
                         have the heart and the soul, but you 
                         don't have the talent.
 
                                     STAN
                         We're gonna get served on Saturday, 
                         aren't we?
 
                                     YAO
                         What? I don't wanna get served.

                                     MERCEDES
                         Yeah, you didn't tell us that we might 
                         get served.
 
                                     STAN
                         Well that was the whole point of the 
                         whole thing was that the guys came back 
                         and they said we were gonna get served 
                         and we were like- 
 
                                     CHEF
                         All right all right, quiet, children! 
                         Now, nobody's getting served if I can 
                         help it. We just gotta buckle down, 
                         dig deep, and pray that maybe the other 
                         team comes down with cancer. 
 
               [Butters' room. He's working on a little village, which might 
               be a model of South Park. Stan enters and walks up to him. Butters 
               glances back and then looks at his work again.]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         What do you want?

                                     STAN
                         I came to ask you one more time to join 
                         the crew. Everyone is practicing really 
                         hard, but... I don't think we have any 
                         kind of shot without you.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Sorry, Stan, I'm not a dancer anymore. 
                          I gave that up.
 
                                     STAN
                         Your mom says you were one of the best 
                         dancers in the country.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          Did she also tell you my dancing got 
                         eight people killed?
 
                                     STAN
                         Yeah. She said your shoe came off. It 
                         wasn't your fault
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Yeah well, you tell that to their families. 
                         
 
                                     STAN
                         Look, Butters, accidents happen. We 
                         all have to live with that.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                          I let those people down! Don't you 
                         get it man?! Eight people died!
 
                                     STAN
                         Well, it was nine, actually. One of 
                         the women was pregnant.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Oh what?

                                     STAN
                         And eleven if you count the two family 
                         members that killed themselves afterward.
 
                         
                                     BUTTERS
                          HAAAA!

                                     STAN
                         But that isn't the point, Butters!  
                         The point is that this is now! It's 
                         on! And there are people who need you 
                         to step up! Look, nobody likes having 
                         to rise to a challenge. But competing 
                         against other people and getting in 
                         their faces saying "Haha! I'm better 
                         than you!" is part of life. And if you 
                         can't face that, then you might as well 
                         sit here and play Leggos until you're 
                         an old man.
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Get out of my room, Stan!

                                     STAN
                          Fine.  But someday you're gonna have 
                         to stop running from what happened and 
                         start dealing with it. Otherwise, you 
                         might as well move to France with all 
                         the other pussies. 
 
               [The OC Convention Center. "It's ON!!!! NOW!!!!"]

                                     MC
                         Yeah, make some noise!  Ladies and Gentlemen, 
                          man, you are all in for a treat! Whichever 
                         crew wins tonight, you wanna remember 
                         their faces, 'cause the next time you 
                         see them... will be in Lil Kim's next 
                         video! Give it up for Lil Kim! 
 
                                     LIL KIM
                          What's up, niggaz?! 

                                     MC
                         This is gonna be a rough battle, y'all. 
                         So let's give it up for the OC Crew! 
                          And the challengers, the South Park 
                         Diggitys! 
 
                                     JIMBO
                         Man, it is about to get crazy up in 
                         here.
 
                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Aww yeah.

                                     MC
                         Aight y'all. It's showtime!

                                     ANNOUNCER
                         Dancers to the floor! 

                                     MERCEDES
                          Stan. Stan, we have a big problem.
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         What?

                                     MERCEDES
                         It's Jeffy. He sprained his ankle. 
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         What happened??

                                     MERCEDES
                         He was practicing the say takedown and 
                         slipped on the floor.
 
                                     OC MEMBER 3
                         Come on, fools! You dancin' or what?!
 
                         
                                     YAO
                         Can he move it? 

                                     STAN
                         Aw, what do we do, Chef??

                                     CHEF
                         Rules are you have to have five dancers. 
                         We have no choice, children. We have 
                         to forfeit.
 
                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         Looks like they ain't even gonna dance.
 
                         
                                     OC LEADER
                         They're too scared! Looks like they 
                         already got served! 
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Hey! Can I still dance with you guys?
 
                         
                                     STAN
                         Butters! 

                                     CHEF
                         All right!

                                     MC
                         All right come on, let's do this! DJ! 
                         Give us a hot track! 
 
                                     CD
                         Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've 
                         got nothin' on me!
 
               Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've got nothin' on me!

               [the OC leader comes up to Butters and serves him with a balance 
               act on the right hand twice and a back flip, then returns to 
               the crew, spins on his head a few times, then ends on his side, 
               resting his head on his right hand]
 
               Let's see you...! Let's see you...!

               Daaance, sucka!

               
               [brief instrumental. The Diggitys answer the serve with a sequence 
               that has the members twirling and handing off to the next one 
               until all point to Butters. He then steps forth tap-dancing. 
               He dances well, but his dancing gets intense quickly. The OC 
               crew is awed. It got served.]
 
               
               Let's see you daaance, sucka! You've got nothin' on me!

               Let's see you daaance. 

               [Butters' intensity is so great that his left shoe flies off 
               his foot and sails into the rafters]
 
                                     BUTTERS
                         Waaah!  No! Jesus, not again!

                                     OC MEMBER 1
                         Aaaah!

                                     OC MEMBER 3
                         Kill him! 

                                     MC
                          Folks, it looks like the OC crew is 
                         dead. That means the winner is the South 
                         Park Diggitys!
 
                                     SKEETER
                         Woo!

                                     MR. GARRISON
                         Yeah!

                                     JIMBO
                         All right!

                                     CHEF
                         All right! We did it! 

                                     STAN
                         All right Butters!

                                     YAO
                         You dd it!

                                     RANDY
                         You did it, son! You did it!

                                     CARTMAN
                         All right, Butters! 

                                     BUTTERS
                         Noho! Noho! Noooooo!

               THE END

You Got F'd In The A



Writers :   Trey Parker
Genres :   Animation  Comedy


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