THE SURFER KING
Written by
Bernard Murray Jr
5/25/04
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THE SURFER KING
1 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 1
JAFFA, a Jamaican looking fellow in his early 20's, arrives
at Water World, carrying a dusty cardboard box.
There are a few workers milling about, setting up the park
for opening. He passes EDDIE, a 25-something grounds worker
with Down's Syndrome.
JAFFA
Eddie!
EDDIE
(smiling, nodding)
Jaffa.
They do a hand slap maneuver that they have obviously worked
out some time in the past. JAFFA proceeds up to the Customer
Relations Kiosk, plops the box on the counter, and enters the
kiosk. We see him open the box, it is full of CD's.
He pulls winter covers off of an overhead area to reveal a CD
player and amplifiers. He starts pushing buttons he's pushed
a thousand times, and lights come on. He pulls down a
microphone, and clicks a button to see if it works.
He reaches into the box of CDs and pulls one out. We see it
is Sheryl Crow. He gets the CD, examines it, and pops it
into the CD player.
He once again picks the microphone and flips the switch as he
pushes the "play" button on the CD player.
His voice echoes through the park. "Soak up the Sun" begins
playing.
JAFFA
(smiling)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Water World will be
open in
(checking his watch)
twenty-six hours and forty-three minutes.
GFX - OPENING CREDITS BEGIN
2 EXT EARLY MORNING - THUNDER BAY 2
BIG MIKE, the park's owner/manager - a 50-something man who
is portly and bald, and RICHARD THOMPSON, head lifeguard and
another GUARD are on the east side of Thunder Bay.
There is a post with a box on top of it that has a winter
cover on it. The GUARD is standing there with a garden hose
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holding it so the water goes into Thunder Bay.
He is obviously tired, and has been standing there a long
time. We look back at the massive size of the pool and get
the joke.
BIG MIKE and RICHARD pull off the winter cover. The GUARD
turns to look and the hose turns with him, getting BIG MIKE
wet. They object and he turns back to filling Thunder Bay.
RICHARD moves the GUARD to a safe distance.
BIG MIKE blows the dust off of the box at the top of the
post, and we see it is a large push button. BIG MIKE looks
at RICHARD who nods "go ahead" and then pushes the button.
They both draw back as if something big should happen, but
nothing. They look at each other and BIG MIKE motions for
RICHARD to go over to the wall housing the wave tank for the
pool.
RICHARD waves OK, and BIG MIKE pushes the button again. When
nothing happens, RICHARD whacks the side of the tank with his
closed fist. Suddenly a huge wave rolls out.
Nodding his approval, BIG MIKE checks off an item in his
clipboard.
3 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - DAY SURFS UP AREA 3
We see people working to open the park. The VAIL PRECISION
LAWN CHAIR DRILL TEAM dressed in Water World uniforms is
setting and arranging chairs in time to the music. They
perform precision maneuvers with the chairs, as if rifles,
and cross each other in a timed march to the music.
4 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - DAY FUN HOUSE AREA 4
BIG MIKE is standing under the Fun House structure with a
clipboard. He is talking to RICHARD.
After talking to BIG MIKE, RICHARD shakes his head
affirmatively and walks off. He glances up to the two guards
above, and grins. BIG MIKE is looking at his clipboard. We
see quickly the large water tank above is spilling water a
bit, indicating it is full.
The water tank spills over BIG MIKE drenching him. He stands
there still, angry for a moment, then thinks better of it
shaking his head and smiling, takes his pen and checks OK on
his wet clipboard for the fun house water tank.
5 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - DAY FIRST AID SHACK NEAR FUNHOUSE 5
Two guards are looking down at BIG MIKE below. One guard
begins motioning as if guiding a crane into place. The other
guard has his hand poised on a large switch lever.
GUARD ONE is gesturing more emphatically now, closing his
hands to indicate "almost there". He closes his hands, and
GUARD TWO pulls the lever.
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6 EXT. LATER THAT MORNING - DAY 2001 VW BUG 6
We are on the road to Water World in Federal Heights,
Colorado. ROBBIE ZIRPOLLO is riding with his mother CONNIE
ZIRPOLLO.
ROBBIE
(sardonically)
Yeah. This is great. I love this plan.
Drag me kicking and screaming from my
happy home in California to some weird
place in Colorado, and say hey, this'll
be fun Robbie. Maybe we can go
camping....
CONNIE
Look, I know you're not happy about this.
But it wasn't my idea for your father to
have some kind of mid-life crisis and
disappear with his secretary to Mexico
with our life savings.
ROBBIE
"Administrative Assistant." There's no
such thing as a secretary anymore.
CONNIE
Fine. Administrative Assistant. We
couldn't afford to sit around waiting any
longer to see if he was coming back. I
was able to land a good job here. And
now thanks to Uncle Bernie you have this
job at the Water Park...
ROBBIE
(shaking his head)
Grounds crew. What kind of job is that?
It sound like the guy who cleans out the
coffee pots.
CONNIE
Bernie says you help keep the park clean,
sweep up, that sort of thing.
I'm sure it won't be so bad. Besides, a
lot of the kids who work at this park go
to the same high school you'll be going
to. You can start the school year with
some ready-made friends.
ROBBIE
I had friends in Oceanside. I had
something to do for the summer.
They pass the main Water World sign. Hanging below it is a
banner that says Opening Tomorrow!.
CONNIE
Hanging out at the beach surfing with
your friends is not my idea of something
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to do. This way you'll make some money
and meet people here. You'd best get
used to it. This is where we live now.
We're staying.
ROBBIE
All thanks to Dad and his secretary.
CONNIE
Administrative Assistant.
ROBBIE
Whatever. Some summer....
They have arrived at the front gates of Water World, Kids
are in a line leading to a check-in canopy kiosk that has a
sign saying Employee Check In.
CONNIE
Promise me you'll give it a
try....please?
ROBBIE
(giving in to the inevitable)
I will. I promise. See you later
He shuts the car door and walks over to the end of the line.
7 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - DAY FRONT GATES OF WATER WORLD 7
There are about 40-50 teenagers in various default street
clothes, shorts and tees mostly. Robbie takes his place in
line behind an older, taller boy, ALEX, who seems to know
almost everyone, and has made it his personal mission to
greet them.
ALEX
(back still to ROBBIE)
...and so SHE says I'll have the filet
AND the lobster". I had to borrow twenty
bucks from Fitzgerald just to get out of
the restaurant.
Two guys in front of Alex are laughing now. Further down the
line however, another voice pops up.
DOUG
(waving to ALEX)
By the way. Where is that twenty bucks?
ALEX
(avoiding)
Ohhh, hey Dougie. I'll catch up with you
later...
(turning around to ROBBIE as
not to continue the
conversation)
Hey, how you doin'? Haven't seen you
before.
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ALEX looks in his wallet, as do we. It is empty.
ROBBIE
(nodding)
I'm Robbie. Robbie Zirpollo.
ALEX
I'm Alex. Where you workin'?
ROBBIE
I believe it's with the Grounds Crew?
ALEX
What's the matter, can't swim?
ROBBIE
(surprised)
I can swim. Why?
ALEX
Well, you look old enough to be a guard.
ROBBIE
Almost 16. I get my license in
September.
ALEX
It's just that most of the guys on
grounds are a little younger than you.
Most guys your age that can swim are
guards.
ROBBIE
Well, I just moved here. I guess I
missed guard tryouts. You're a guard
then?
ALEX
Oh, no no no. I work concessions...at
Aokee's Surf and Snack Shack. It's just
as well. The guards are mostly stuck up
anyway. The rest of us are the ones who
know how to have fun.
ROBBIE
Can't swim, huh?
ALEX
(smiling)
Nope.
ROBBIE
(listening to speaker on post
above)
What is that?
ALEX
(mimicking his perception of
surfers)
Surf tunes, dude!
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(back to his own voice)
You'll get used to it. You'll get to
where you miss it. I had to buy two CD's
just to get through the winter.
They are now at the front of the line. A teenage girl
MELISSA is sitting at the table with papers and a clipboard.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(gesturing)
Ahh. And here we have the fair Melissa,
time clerk extraordinaire...
MELISSA
(shaking her head no)
Oh, Alex. Am I going to have to put up
with your crap for another entire summer?
ALEX
(looking upward toward the sky)
Dear Melissa.
There's nothing about our relationship
that couldn't be fixed by us spending a
few moments together in the pumphouse
behind Thunder Bay.
MELISSA
Yeah, well from what I hear, it would be
a BRIEF few moments.
ROBBIE
(wincing)
Ouch.
ALEX
(not missing a beat)
My dear, you cut me to the quick. Check
off my name and that of my amigo here,
Mr. Robbie Zirpollo.
MELISSA
(handing them cards)
Fill out these emergency cards, and turn
them in when you pick up your
uniforms....
(pointing)
over there. And Alex?
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
She wants me.
(turning back to MELISSA)
Yeeees?
MELISSA
(finger pointing)
This year, let's clock in only our OWN
time card, shall we?
ALEX
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(head shaking, to ROBBIE,
walking together)
Some people have no sense of humor.
8 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - OUTSIDE UNIFORM BUILDING 8
ROBBIE and ALEX walk up to yet another line of about 4 or 5
teens. At the front a teenage girl and a teenage guy are
behind a counter and handing out uniforms based on a
clipboard list.
As ROBBIE and ALEX reach the back of the line, TIFFANY, a
blond beauty and two other girls brush past them to the front
of the line.
ROBBIE
(taken aback, breathing in
through his nose)
Whoa....who was that?
ALEX
(unimpressed, putting his hand
on ROBBIE's shoulder as if to
hold him back, like a horse
that is riled up)
Eeeaasy there, big fella. Not in your
lifetime.
(wistfully, glancing over)
Or mine.
ROBBIE
So who is she?
ALEX
Miss Tiffany Maxwell, daughter of Big
Mike Maxwell, owner and operator of this
here fine water park.
WE SEE TIFFANY and her two friends are quickly given their
uniforms by the attendants, as they ignore the kids who have
waited in line.
ALEX (CONT'D)
See, Princess Tiffany and her friends
pretty much have the run of the park.
Her boyfriend is Dan Peterson, a guy we
all call Cowboy, one of the lifeguards.
Pretty decent guy from what I can tell.
But she's a piece of work. Your best
strategy is to steer clear of her and she
won't cause you any trouble.
ROBBIE
Cowboy, huh. Big guy?
ALEX
Big. Guy.
ROBBIE
(takes in a deep breath)
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Hmm.
They are now at the front of the line.
MALE UNIFORM GUY
Hey Alex.
(calling back to FEMALE UNIFORM
PERSON)
Aokee's. Large.
(to ROBBIE)
MALE UNIFORM GUY (CONT'D)
Name?
Female Uniform Person has brought a blue Hawaiian shirt on a
hanger.
ROBBIE
Rob Zirpollo. Uh, Robert Zirpollo
MALE UNIFORM GUY
(looks on clipboard)
Grounds?
(looks at FEMALE UNIFORM
PERSON)
MALE UNIFORM GUY (CONT'D)
(and FEMALE UNIFORM PERSON,
together, ominously)
Grounds.
She disappears to the back.
ROBBIE
(to ALEX)
So what is this grounds thing, anyway?
ALEX
Let's just say....you are critical and
indispensable to the ongoing operation...
and....flow of things here at the park.
(he and MALE UNIFORM GUY
exchange a knowing glance)
FEMALE UNIFORM PERSON
Here you go, tiger. One grounds.
Medium. You have a pair of green shorts
at home?
ROBBIE shakes his head "no".
FEMALE UNIFORM PERSON (CONT'D)
Buy some. Tonight. Wear them tomorrow
along with this shirt. You need to
report to the area just south of Surf's
Up. Look for a guy wearing Army pants
and glasses.
ALEX
I'll show him. I'm going in that
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direction.
(to ROBBIE with feigned
excitement)
You get to meet The Colonel!
They walk off. As they walk off we can hear ALEX in the
distance...
ALEX (CONT'D)
(marching)
Left. Left. Left right left.
9 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 9
Aokee's is a restaurant near Thunder Bay. It seats about 50
and is lavishly decorated in a Hawaiian Surf and Ocean motif,
with surf memorabilia, fish nets, surfboards, and the like.
AOKEE is a large 375 pound plus apparently Hawaiian man, late
twenties, early thirties, wearing a purple Hawaiian shirt,
blue shorts and a white chef's apron that says KISS THE COOK.
WE SEE him on a pay phone behind the counter.
AOKEE
(to person on the line)
David...how you do this to me? I have
full staff with you. I save your spot.
I was counting on you.
(listens, nods)
Yes, yes....but The Gap? What you think
you do there? Are there girls in
swimming suits? Have you forgotten?
(listens, shaking head)
Tips. Do you get tips? Cash money?
(listens some more)
ALEX walks up. AOKEE waves to him. He is obviously upset.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(resigned)
Well, come see us this summer, eh?
You're a good kid...a good worker. Yeah,
you too.
AOKEE hangs up the phone.
ALEX
Who....?
AOKEE
David. Seems to think there is future in
retail. Now what I do? I'm one person
short. Park opens tomorrow.
AOKEE buries his head in his hands on the counter.
ALEX
(thinking)
You know...I just met a guy that's old
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enough to work here, but he's stuck in
grounds.
AOKEE
(perking up)
Good guy?
ALEX
Seemed like our kind of people.
AOKEE thinks for a moment. He glances up towards Surf's Up.
It hits both he and ALEX at the same time...
AOKEE
We need to get him before he get his
plunger!
They take off running.
10 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - TRAIL FROM AOKEE'S TO SURF'S10
UP
AOKEE and ALEX are running together. They get about 50 feet
before AOKEE, large man that he is, runs out of breath.
ALEX, like a boxer in training, sort of runs in place,
keeping loose, ready for AOKEE to catch his wind. Off they
go again, get another 50 feet, and the same thing happens.
AOKEE
(out of breath)
Alex......
(wheeze)
..you got to go ahead...
(wheeze)
...stall 'til I get there.
ALEX
(nodding, running in place)
OK.
ALEX takes off, and AOKEE runs again....
11 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL SOUTH 11
WE SEE several rolling trash cans lined up in a row, along
with several janitorial carts filled with cleaning utensils
and supplies.
THE COLONEL is standing, dressed in army fatigue pants and a
Water World golf shirt, with a green Water World baseball
cap. He is wearing black horn-rim glasses, thick lenses, and
carrying a clipboard.
Lined up as if an army unit are ten grounds kids, including
ROBBIE, who is sixth furthest from THE COLONEL. They are all
younger than ROBBIE except one, EDDIE, whom we met at the
beginning of the film.
EDDIE is standing tall and straight, proud to be there. He
is nearest THE COLONEL
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THE COLONEL
(looking up from clipboard)
Well, it looks like we have a good staff
here. Yes...yes a good staff. It will be
an excellent summer. Remember as we go
through training today, our park is
judged by the work WE do. If we do it
well, the people come back.
(walking up and down the line)
We have a little tradition here on the
grounds crew. Rather than having to
learn a lot of names, many of which I can
never hope to pronounce properly, each
grounds crew member gets a grounds crew
nickname. You will be known by that
nickname in every way except, of course,
your paycheck and employee records.
THE COLONEL looks over his paperwork.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
Let's see, what do we have? Hmm...yes.
OK, first up is Eddie Cochran. Your
grounds crew nickname will be.....Eddie!
EDDIE smiles knowingly. This has been his grounds crew
nickname for the last 8 years, mostly because he would never
answer to anything else, and THE COLONEL gave up trying.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
Now crewmembers, listen up. Eddie here
has eight years experience on the grounds
crew. Why, I'd like to think there isn't
anything, any situation that Eddie hasn't
faced. Listen to him. Learn from him.
Watch what he does. This man is the
finest, most conscientious grounds
crewman we've ever had.
EDDIE is beaming with pride now. THE COLONEL pulls a brand
new toilet plunger from the cart nearby and hands it to
EDDIE. EDDIE shoulders it as if it were a rifle.
THE COLONEL walks down the line.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
Let's see...Clark? Hmmm. Your grounds
crew nickname will be....Sparky.
It is all ROBBIE can do not to laugh. THE COLONEL goes on to
the next kid, SKEETER who is tall, skinny and goofy-looking.
SKEETER'S eyes are faced forward, but something catches them.
His eyes follow an unseen object as we begin to hear a small
mosquito. Finally his eyes follow it until he looks, cross
eyed at his own nose.
THE COLONEL has taken note of this and is following it too.
SKEETER can take no more, and brushes it off his nose as he
makes a face.
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SKEETER
Sorry, sir. Mosquito.
THE COLONEL
Hmmm.....your grounds crew nickname will
be.....Skeeter.
THE COLONEL steps over the cart and gets another new plunger
and hands it to SKEETER who follows EDDIE's lead.
Next in line is a short, chubby lad, SNITCH. As THE COLONEL
approaches him, a quick sound of passing gas is heard.
THE COLONEL is startled, and SNITCH makes a quick finger
motion indicating the culprit is SKEETER, next to him.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
(looking at the clipboard)
Bradley, is it? OK, Mr. Bradley.....your
grounds crew nickname will be Snitch.
SNITCH shows his dismay with a frown. THE COLONEL has run
out of new plungers already and is forced to move to one of
last year's leftovers, which look somewhat depressing.
He gets one and give it to SNITCH, who looks at it, makes a
face, and decides not to shoulder it. ROBBIE is so depressed
he looks like he's about to pass out.
His worst fears have been realized. His summer is passing
before his eyes.
There's only one more person, a young 14 year-old girl, to go
before ROBBIE. THE COLONEL addresses her.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
Melinda Tally. Hmmm... your grounds crew
nickname will be...
(thinking)
Suddenly ALEX bursts onto the scene, and even he, at this
point, is somewhat out of breath.
ALEX
Hello, Colonel!
THE COLONEL
(thinking, staring)
Alex, isn't it?
ALEX
Yes sir, Colonel. And what a fine staff
you've assembled this year. Have you
told them yet about your army background?
THE COLONEL
Well, no, I didn't think it was..
ALEX
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(interrupting, to the grounds
kids)
The Colonel here is very modest. Did you
know that he reorganized the entire
process of cleaning and sanitizing an
army barracks and its latrines?
THE COLONEL
Well, it really wasn't much of a...
ALEX
(interrupting again)
Wasn't much?
(again, to grounds kids)
Can you just imagine for a moment the
germs and bacteria our American soldiers
could pick up in an unsanitised army
latrine? It's impossible to determine
just how many lives have been saved
thanks to the efforts of this one humble
Army Colonel.
THE COLONEL
Well, I suppose when you put it that
way...
ALEX
(to the grounds kids)
I, too, came up through the ranks when at
age 14, I began my service here at Water
World learning from this great man.
THE COLONEL
Yes....I remember now.....what was your
grounds nickname...?
ALEX
Not even sure I remember it myself, sir.
But I remember much more. Did you tell
them about the film?
THE COLONEL
Film?
ALEX
(to THE COLONEL)
"Hygiene Makes You Happy"
(to the grounds kids)
Every enlisted man in the army has seen
it. Some by choice. All from the mind
of The Colonel here...
THE COLONEL
(to himself)
I never forget a grounds nickname....
AOKEE has finally made it now, but is, of course, out of
breath again.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
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(concerned)
Aokee, good God, man...are you OK?
AOKEE gestures he is fine, and does a combination of charades
and Hawaiian pantomime before he finally speaks.
AOKEE
Colonel....terrible mistake...
ALEX gets behind AOKEE, deciding he needs some help, feeding
him words.
ALEX
(quietly behind AOKEE)
Bureaucratic bumble...
AOKEE
Bureaucratic bumble....
ALEX
Lost paperwork....
AOKEE
Lost paperwork....
ALEX
An error in the front office...
AOKEE
Error in front office....
ALEX
Spiced applesauce....
AOKEE
Spiced...
AOKEE stops, turn and glares at ALEX, who merely smiles and
shrugs.
THE COLONEL
Good God, man, what are you trying to
say?
ALEX comes around from behind AOKEE.
ALEX
It's Robbie sir. He was supposed to work
at Aokee's and through some crazy mix-up,
he ended up here.
THE COLONEL
(looking at clipboard)
Zirpollo? Well this is highly
irregular...
He is flipping though the papers, confused.
ALEX
(can't pass this up)
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Most annoying....
THE COLONEL
Most annoying....
ALEX
Never happened before....
THE COLONEL
Never happened before....
ALEX
Spaghetti marinara...
THE COLONEL
Spa....what?
(exasperated)
Well, if he was supposed to be assigned
to you, we'll just have to let him go...
ROBBIE has caught on and is quick to step out of line, and
pick up his shirt to be ready to go.
ROBBIE
(to THE COLONEL)
I was confused myself, sir. I had heard
I was working for some Hawaiian guy.
AOKEE
(reassuring)
I promise, we go straight to personnel,
straighten the whole thing out. You
won't need to worry.
THE COLONEL
Very well. We'll just have to make-do.
THE COLONEL goes back to the girl MELINDA he was about to
nickname before the interruption, but is staring after ALEX,
AOKEE and ROBBIE as they walk off. He looks at MELINDA. He
looks back at ALEX & company. It hits him.
THE COLONEL (CONT'D)
(remembering)
Snafu.
MELINDA
Sir?
THE COLONEL
His grounds crew nickname. I remember it
now. Snafu.
12 EXT -DAY - HILL AREA ABOVE THUNDER BAY 12
The entire staff of Water World is assembled for a pre
opening pep talk from owner BIG MIKE MAXWELL. He wears a
Water World Golf shirt, shorts and a crew-style marine hat.
Standing next to him is RICHARD THOMPSON, head lifeguard.
The workers are sitting on the hill.
Page 16 of 81
AOKEE, THE COLONEL and other "management" types are standing
off to the side. TIFFANY and her friends are sitting up
front.
ALEX and ROBBIE are sitting together towards the back, and
ROBBIE's grounds t-shirt is no longer in his hand, but has
been replaced by a folded AOKEE'S blue Hawaiian shirt.
There is a lot of noise from everyone talking.
BIG MIKE
(motioning to get everyone to
settle down)
Okay, everybody, let's quiet down for a
minute.
(they do, and he looks down at
his clipboard)
For those who don't know me, my name is
Michael Maxwell, and I...sort of run
things around here.
A chant starts up, with affection...
EVERYONE TOGETHER
Big Mike! Big Mike! Big Mike!
BIG MIKE smiles, this has happened before, probably a
tradition.
BIG MIKE
(again motioning to settle
down)
Okay, yeah thanks. Now, I want go over a
few basic things. First of all, make
sure you've all filled out your paperwork
with personnel, cause nobody gets paid
unless they do. Come to think of it, I
suppose it's better for me that you don't
fill out your paperwork, then I don't
have to pay you. I'll make it optional.
If you want to get paid, fill out your
paperwork.
(looking at clipboard)
Let's remember, the people who come here
are our guests, and your job is to see
they have a safe and fun experience here.
Let's work together to keep the park
clean and safe, and we'll have a great
summer together. Now with a few words is
our head lifeguard, Richard Thompson.
Another cheer starts up, smaller this time, which ALEX
starts.
SMALLER GROUP
Big Dick! Big Dick Big Dick!
RICHARD
(wincing some, but not
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surprised, motioning to settle
down)
Yeah, yeah, very funny, we're all very
amused. Okay, many of you have been in
training for some time, and some of you
still have a ways to go...
WE SEE a quick shot of some geeky younger guards wearing
water wings, sharky goggles and noseplugs and looking less
than confident...
RICHARD (CONT'D)
(glancing at the water wing
group wistfully, almost to
himself)
...a long ways to go...
He looks down at his clipboard.
RICHARD (CONT'D)
...but I'd like to take a moment to
speak, mostly to the guards, but
certainly everyone has a role in this.
We can take everything we've learned and
distill it down to two simple rules.
Rule number one:
He pauses, thoughtful for a moment, but building into a near
rage for effect to impress on everyone...
RICHARD (CONT'D)
(loudly, emphatically, angry at
the thought that anybody
might...)
Don't drown!
He stops, composing himself.
RICHARD (CONT'D)
(almost quietly)
Rule number two:
Again, thoughtful but building to a rage at the thought that
this could happen...
RICHARD (CONT'D)
(loudly, emphatically)
Don't let anyone else drown!
He stops again, and regains his composure.
RICHARD (CONT'D)
(almost quietly to the stunned
crowd)
Thank you. Have a great summer!
There is stunned silence for a moment. They're not sure how
to react.
ALEX
Page 18 of 81
(breaking the silence)
Alright! Whoo whoo!
ALEX, then everyone begins applauding. ROBBIE looks at ALEX
quizzically, ALEX just shrugs. The meeting breaks up.
13 INT - MORNING - THE NEXT DAY - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 13
Everyone is hurrying around, getting ready for opening day.
ROBBIE, wearing his new blue Hawaiian shirt, is cutting
pineapple. AOKEE is busy hovering over everyone, and cooking
chicken on the grill. ALEX walks in.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
Hey, hey lookin' good. Blue is your
color. Beats that stupid t-shirt, huh?
AOKEE
(unhappy, stressed)
Alex! You are late. Come on, is opening
day!
ROBBIE finishes the pineapple and hands the tray to AOKEE,
almost spilling it.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(to ROBBIE and ALEX)
You two start setting tables.
ALEX takes a pile of silverware wrapped in napkins, and
points to ROBBIE to grab a box of sugar packets to refill the
dispensers. ROBBIE grabs it quickly, enthusiastically, but
loses his grip and spills the packets on the floor.
At that moment, AUDREY a girl in her teens who works at
AOKEE'S and is stacking plastic cups on the counter,
accidentally knocks a stack of cups to the ground.
RAMON, a teenage boy who works there is behind the counter.
He bends over, disappearing, and we hear a crash of pots and
pans. His head peers up from below the counter sheepishly.
AOKEE turns from the grill looking at all this, and has a
worried look, but smiles and shrugs weakly.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(to ALEX, gesturing)
Alex. Come here a minute.
ALEX comes up close next to him at the grill so they can
talk.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(with intensity)
Alex, look. We falling apart. I made
you assistant manager this year. Go
assistant manage.
ALEX
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(agreeing)
No problem.
ALEX pops a CD out of the rack above the sound system, and
puts it in the CD player, stopping the standard pastoral
Hawaiian music that has been playing.
He turns up the volume some on the amp, and goes over to
SARAH, a teenage girl working there, and grabs her grass
skirt by the Velcro, removing it with a Velcro rip.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Sorry, Sarah, but I need to borrow this.
SARAH
(surprised)
Hey! How did you know I wear shorts
under that?
ALEX
(mock surprise, rolling his
eyes)
Oh, Puh-leeaase.
ALEX walks back out to the dining area, everyone is still
working.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(to all)
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your
attention, please?
Everyone stops and looks at ALEX.
ALEX (CONT'D)
In exactly 30 minutes, hundreds of
dripping wet customers with fistfuls of
money smelling of chlorine and suntan
lotion will be walking in here.
And what will they be looking for?
(as if directing a choir)
EVERYONE TOGETHER
(except ROBBIE, who doesn't
know any better)
The best teriyaki east of the pacific!!!
ALEX
Annnnnnd?
EVERYONE TOGETHER
(Again except ROBBIE, who
doesn't know any better)
The finest smoothies in the state!!!
ALEX
Now, everyone's a little tense, except
me, of course. So to help you get in the
proper frame of mind and relax, we need
Page 20 of 81
the right soundtrack.
(to AOKEE)
Maestro?
AOKEE hits the play button on the CD player.
ALEX (CONT'D)
This is little tune I like to call the
Paradise Slide.
(mouthing with the song as it
starts)
One, two, a one two three.
The music starts and ALEX, now wearing SARAH's grass skirt,
launches into his version of the electric slide, Hawaiian
style.
EVERYONE ELSE gets the beat and begins working to the music.
AOKEE is using his spatulas as drum sticks on the overhanging
kitchen tools.
RAMON has inverted an empty pot and is beating it conga-drum
style.
ROBBIE has picked up the sugar packets and ALEX is dancing
and quickly (almost casually) tossing silverware/napkin rolls
to ROBBIE as ROBBIE catches them (at first with some
difficulty) and puts them on the tables.
SARAH has re-stacked the cups, and is juggling salt & pepper
shakers, placing them on the tables. AUDREY chops onions to
the beat.
EVERYONE TOGETHER
(on the chorus)
Don Ho, Don Ho, Don Ho. Don Ho, Don Ho,
Don Ho.
AOKEE has now taken all the chicken off the grill and comes
out from behind the counter, dancing. The others form a
CONGA LINE behind him.
EVERYONE TOGETHER (CONT'D)
(on the chorus)
Don Ho, Don Ho, Don Ho. Don Ho, Don Ho,
Don Ho.
As they go by the tables they put on any missing items. They
get into it more and more, AOKEE especially, swinging his
huge, 375 pound guy hips.
EVERYONE TOGETHER (CONT'D)
(on the chorus)
Don Ho, Don Ho, Don Ho. Don Ho, Don Ho,
Don Ho.
As the song ends (abruptly), AOKEE bumps a surfboard (part of
the restaurant's decoration) with his hip, knocking it and
another one to the ground.
Page 21 of 81
There is a loud crash and everyone pauses and looks at AOKEE,
waiting to see if he gets mad.
AOKEE looks down at his hip, and makes a puppy-dog face like
"I didn't know my hips were that big...." Everyone claps,
laughing. AOKEE takes a bow.
14 INT -LATER THAT DAY - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 14
ROBBIE and ALEX are carrying bus tubs loaded with dirty
dishes back toward the kitchen from the dining area.
AOKEE is sipping on a smoothie and leaning back on a counter.
There are only a few customers in the eating area.
They set the tubs down on a counter that passes to the back
area. An unseen person takes them into the dishwashing area.
AOKEE
(to ALEX and ROBBIE)
You did good work today.
Here. I made you some of my special
Power Smoothies. More customers later
wanting dinner before park closes. I
can't have you falling asleep on me.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(to ALEX)
Alex, we are completely out of table
stretchers and left-handed coffee pots.
Take Robbie and go find some. I think
some at the first-aid station near Surf's
Up pool.
ALEX
(nodding knowingly)
Right. See you in a little while.
They walk off carrying their smoothies.
15 EXT - MOMENTS LATER - THUNDER BAY CONCESSIONS AREA 15
ROBBIE and ALEX are walking past Thunder Bay concessions area
toward THE WAVE carrying and drinking their smoothies.
ROBBIE
So that was a typical lunch crowd?
ALEX
Well, it's early in the season yet.
We'll get busier.
ROBBIE
(incredulous)
Busier?
ALEX
(laughing)
Don't worry. You'll get used to it. And
tips were good, right?
Page 22 of 81
ROBBIE
There's nothing like cash money in your
pocket. What's that over there?
They are coming up on THE WAVE area.
ALEX
Oh, you'll find this ride interesting.
16 EXT - MOMENTS LATER - DAY - THE WAVE AREA 16
The walk up to THE WAVE attraction, where kids are surfing in
a high-water pressure river/ sheet of water. Surf music
plays loudly here, and kids are doing all kinds of tricks.
Some riders are good, some are not, and fall quickly.
We also see SKEETER and SNITCH, the tall skinny and short
chubby grounds kids we met earlier. They are cleaning up
around the exit area of THE WAVE.
ALEX
(as a rider falls)
It's a lot harder than it looks.
ROBBIE
I can't imagine it's that difficult.
(to himself)
...no rudder on the board...
ALEX
Now this is a place of many wonders. See
those guys in line over there?
WE SEE some guys that look a little stoned with unusual hair
laughing and talking to each other.
ALEX (CONT'D)
We call them "Wave Bums". They all have
season passes, and do little more than
ride the wave all day long. Some of them
get pretty good.
Alex points up to a fence, behind which some smoke appears to
be drifting up.
ALEX (CONT'D)
That's where they hang out when they're
not riding the wave. Don't get too close
to them.
ROBBIE
No?
ALEX
(sniffing)
Contact high.
ROBBIE nods, understanding. ALEX points back to THE WAVE.
Page 23 of 81
ALEX (CONT'D)
And there, my friend, is another one of
The Wave's features.
WE SEE a pretty girl in line to ride.
ALEX (CONT'D)
We call them "Wave Babes". And there's a
special secret to this ride.
With that ALEX walks over to BOB, a guy in his late teens,
wearing a Security Golf Shirt. He is standing and looking
off in a different direction.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Hey, Bob....can I borrow your radio a
minute?
BOB
Sure.
He hands him the radio, and ALEX is back with ROBBIE.
ALEX
(into radio)
Hey Frank, it's Alex.
ALEX waves and FRANK, the guard watching THE WAVE waves back.
FRANK VO
(heard through the radio)
Yo, Alex.
ALEX
(into radio)
Listen you have a possible code 4.
(to ROBBIE)
Means a "hottie".
ALEX (CONT'D)
(to radio)
She's up next. A free chicken sandwich
and a smoothie if you bounce up the
pressure a bit.
FRANK VO
(heard through radio)
You got it bud. But two smoothies.
"Volcanos".
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
He knows my weak spot.
(to radio)
Two Volcanos and a chicken sandwich.
FRANK VO
(heard through radio)
Time to go to ludicrous speed!
Page 24 of 81
WE SEE FRANK push forward on a handle next to him that seems
to resemble the throttle on a speedboat. The ambient noise
from the wave is noticeably higher.
The WAVE BABE jumps into the water with the board. SKEETER
and SNITCH are still cleaning near the exit.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE, still holding the
radio)
Watch, and wait....
THEY LOOK intently at the WAVE BABE, who is pretty good, even
with the increased water flow. But, after a few deft moves,
she falls. ALEX looks, and sees what he is looking for.
ROBBIE smiles.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Yesss!
We look back at the WAVE BABE, but the water is obscuring our
view. We then see a medium shot of SKEETER and SNITCH. The
WAVE BABE walks past them carrying a board, but we don't see
below her waist, the board obscures our view.
SNITCH sees, and freezes, dumbstruck. SKEETER is looking
down at the grate where THE WAVE water drains. He reaches
down and pulls something out, and turns to the WAVE BABE
walking away.
SKEETER
(unaffected)
Excuse me... Miss?
(louder)
Hello...excuse me...?
Finally she turns. We see her, but just a flash of her from
the back, as the board covers her waist area. She is puzzled
by this grounds kid.
SKEETER (CONT'D)
(holding up the bottom to her
swimsuit)
Is this yours?
She looks down behind the board and reacts. She bites her
lower lip, winces and nods yes.
SKEETER hands her her swimsuit, and she looks around and
backs away towards a towel hanging from the fence nearby.
SNITCH is still frozen, stunned by what he's just seen, mouth
wide open. SKEETER waves his hand in front of SNITCH's face.
No reaction. He's never seen a naked girl before.
We're back to ALEX and ROBBIE.
ROBBIE
(looking at ALEX)
You were right. I was interested in
Page 25 of 81
this.
ALEX
Well, sometime bring your swimsuit.
We'll come back on break. I'll show you
how to do it. Surf's is this way. And
keep an eye out for Frank over there. We
owe him.
ROBBIE nods in agreement, and they walk off.
17 EXT MOMENTS LATER - DAY - NEAR SURF'S UP POOL 17
ROBBIE and ALEX are walking past the SURF'S UP wave pool.
ALEX
(pointing)
The First Aid station is over there. Just
ask the guard. I just want to say hello
to this girl I know.
ROBBIE
OK.
ROBBIE walks over to the First Aid Station. DOUG FITZGERALD,
the guy we heard in line on the first day is there, he's a
guard.
ROBBIE (CONT'D)
Hey. I've been sent to find some table
stretchers and left-handed coffee pots.
DOUG
Oh, you must be the new guy at Aokee's.
ROBBIE
Yeah, how'd you know?
DOUG
Lucky guess. Saw some at the top of
River Country. Just ask one of the
guards over there.
ROBBIE
Thanks.
DOUG
And hey...tell that wienie Alex he still
owes me twenty bucks!
ROBBIE
(looking back and waving as he
walks away)
Got it.
18 EXT - MOMENTS LATER - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 18
ALEX and ROBBIE are walking to RIVER COUNTRY and walk past
JAFFA in the CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK.
Page 26 of 81
JAFFA
(calling out)
Alex!
They turn and walk over.
ALEX
Jama...I mean...Jaffa the Jamaican...what
shakes, it mon?
JAFFA
Jus' the same old this's and that's, mon.
ALEX
Jaffa, meet Robbie Zirpollo.
(to ROBBIE)
Jaffa plays the tunes and talks the talk.
The PHONE RINGS, and Jaffa turns to answer.
JAFFA
(into phone)
What? No way.
(hangs up phone, to ALEX &
ROBBIE)
Check it out...
JAFFA smiles and picks up a radio.
JAFFA (CONT'D)
(into radio)
Attention Lost River guards. We have a
report that some huge fat bald guy has
abandoned his swimsuit and is slidin'
down Lost River with nothin' on but a
smile. Be watchin' for a great white
whale now.
19 EXT - DAY - TOP OF LOST RIVER RIDE 19
WE SEE two female life guards, both with a surprised look on
their faces. One has just reached into the water and picks it
up to display a HUGE pair of swim trunks. Both girls make an
Eeeew face.
20 EXT - DAY - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 20
JAFFA
(on PA system now, into mike)
Attention please. Will Mr. John Big
Bootay report to Lost River Splashdown.
John Big-Bootay to Lost River Splashdown.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
He's calling for security.
ALEX wanders off a moment, looking at something going on in
the distance.
Page 27 of 81
ROBBIE
(to JAFFA)
Wow. Jamaica. I thought I was far from
home.
JAFFA
(dropping the accent a bit)
I'll let you in on a little secret.
Perception is everything...now, Jamal
from Aurora, he's probably over with
those guys...
WE SEE SKEETER and SNITCH walking into the men's room,
looking suspiciously around.
JAFFA (CONT'D)
(back to the accent)
...cleaning the rest rooms. But Jaffa
from Jamaica, he's in customer service,
wearin' the nice shirt and playing the
music. Perception and atmosphere. You
get it?
ROBBIE smiles and nods, and waves goodbye to catch up with
ALEX.
21 INT - MOMENTS LATER - IN MEN'S CHANGING/REST ROOM 21
SNITCH is filling up a water balloon, while SKEETER is tying
a piece of fishing line to the hook on the inside of the
stall door. SKEETER climbs up on top of the stall.
SNITCH is tying off the water balloon and grabs the other end
of the fishing line, and ties it to the fill end of the
balloon. He shuts the stall door, tosses the balloon up to
SKEETER, who places it strategically on the beam above the
toilet. SKEETER then jumps down, and they head for the door.
Eddie Enters. We see EDDIE cautiously checking out the
restroom. He reaches up over the closed stall door and feels
gingerly the fishing line. He smiles and shakes his head,
and heads for the door.
22 EXT -MOMENTS LATER - APPROACHING MEN'S CHANGING/REST ROOM 22
EDDIE is now pushing his cart and making his way toward the
MEN's RESTROOM. He stops to talk to two concessions girls
and show them a magic trick that apparently involves a deck
of cards, which he pulls from a place on his cart. We see
him holding the cards so one girl can pick one.
23 EXT - MOMENTS LATER - IN FRONT OF MEN'S CHANGING/REST ROOM 23
SKEETER pops his head out and looks around. He sees Eddie in
the distance about 5 minutes away, and putting a plastic
liner in a trash can. He nods and disappears into the men's
room.
SKEETER and SNITCH appear at the door, look out, and see
EDDIE finishing his card trick. He presents a card for the
Page 28 of 81
girls to see, and the both nod encouragingly, but as they
walk off, they look at each other and shrug.
SKEETER and SNITCH take off, barely containing their
laughter. But EDDIE notices them leaving. All of this has
happened under the watchful though distant eye of ALEX.
EDDIE goes into the restroom.
EDDIE exits the restroom and goes to his cart. At this point
ALEX and ROBBIE walk up to him.
ALEX
Hey Eddie. What have you got?
EDDIE
Water balloon.
EDDIE reached onto his cart and pulls out a pair of scissors,
eyeing them.
ALEX
You got this?
EDDIE
Yeah. Rookies!
ALEX and ROBBIE walk away as EDDIE places a "RESTROOM CLOSED"
sandwich board in front of the door. Just then BIG MIKE
rushes up.
BIG MIKE
(big hurry-potty emergency)
Oh Eddie. Listen, I know you're working
but you hold on for just a minute. I've
been so busy, and I really gotta go.
EDDIE motions and tries to find the words....
EDDIE
But....no....
But BIG MIKE is already in. Eddies waits for it, wincing,
and there is a loud splash...
BIG MIKE (O.S.)
(echoing through the door)
Yeahhhah that's cold!
EDDIE just shrugs and puts away his scissors.
24 EXT -MOMENTS LATER - TOP OF RIVER COUNTRY 24
Two young women guards, KATIE and AMY are loading kids into
tubes and pushing them onto the slide. AMY is a little older
than KATIE.
AMY
...so then he just disappeared. I had to
call my Dad to come pick me up.
Page 29 of 81
KATIE just shakes her head in amazement. ROBBIE and ALEX
walk up to them. AMY is out of earshot, loading a kid.
ALEX hangs back a bit.
ROBBIE
(to KATIE)
Hi. We're looking for some table
stretchers and left-handed coffee pots.
KATIE
What? Amy, this guy is looking for a
table stretcher?
AMY
(coming over)
Aokee's huh?
ROBBIE
(surprised)
Uh, yes...
AMY
(to ROBBIE, seeing ALEX in the
background)
They're all down at Big Mike's last I
saw.
(to ALEX)
When you gonna tell him?
ALEX
Hi, Amy. Who's this?
AMY
Katie, this is Alex and...
ROBBIE
(taken with KATIE)
Robbie. Ummm, Rob Zirpollo.
AMY
Well, anyway, Big Mike's is where they
are.
ROBBIE
Thanks.
ALEX and ROBBIE walk off.
AMY
What a couple of losers.
KATIE
I don't know...I thought Robbie was kind
of cute...
AMY
Listen, you're new, so let me tell you
how things are. First those guys were
wearing blue shorts. That means
Page 30 of 81
concessions.
(uses her fingers to explain)
The Water World social structure is
organized on three levels. At the bottom
are the Trash Rats.
KATIE
Trash rats?
AMY
Bottom feeders. Grounds kids. Babies.
They clean the toilets and empty the
trash. Most are only 14 years old. It's
the only job younger kids can do here.
Next up is concessions. They're our
"middle class". We don't hang with them
and they don't much hang with us. At the
top of heap are the guards. You are a
guard. Girl, if you want to go out with
someone, stick with your own kind.
KATIE
(looking off at ROBBIE and ALEX
walking away)
Aw, that's just silly. I think he's
cute.
25 EXT -DAY BOTTOM OF RIVER COUNTRY ON THE WAY TO BIG MIKE'S 25
This in an area where riders splash down from riding a tube
down the River Country slides. ROBBIE and ALEX are walking
past the splashdown area.
ROBBIE
What did that girl Amy mean?
ALEX
About what?
ROBBIE
When she said, when are you going to tell
him?
ALEX
I'll tell you over a hamburger at Big
Mike's.
ROBBIE and ALEX proceed to BIG MIKE's out of frame.
SUDDENLY in the background we see a tube splashdown from a
slide and the 7 year-old girl riding in it falls out.
Realizing she is no longer safely in a tube she screams and
begins splashing as if drowning. A guard nearby blows a
single tweet of her whistle.
IN SLOW MOTION we see four other guards throughout the area
turn and react to the whistle. They begin running, BAYWATCH
style towards the scene.
Page 31 of 81
Two guards are running and carrying a backboard. They
converge in another BAYWATCH style slow-mo shot and line up
along the edge of the splashdown pool.
One guard in the middle has a rescue tube, and, still in slow
motion, squats down slowly as if to jump in and rescue the
girl.
At the low end of the jump crouch, however he stops. WE SEE
his face in close-up as he says.
RESCUE GUARD
(slow-motion, voice distorted,
to the girl)
Staaaannnd Uuuuuuuupppp!
The drowning girl stops splashing wildly, and realizes she
can indeed stand up. She looks at all the guards lined up,
smiles sheepishly, and walks out of the pool.
26 EXT - MOMENTS LATER - BIG MIKE'S 26
ALEX is standing outside of BIG MIKE's. ROBBIE is walking
out of the restaurant.
ROBBIE
(Shaking his head)
Aokee's not going to be happy. Nobody
seems to know where these things are...
ALEX
(smiling)
Yep.
(now laughing)
ROBBIE
What?
ALEX
There's no such thing as a table
stretcher or a left-handed coffee pot.
ROBBIE
What a dirty trick.
ALEX
(smiling)
It's just Aokee's way of giving you a
tour of the park without having to be
there. Consider it a rookie initiation.
ROBBIE
(still mad)
Humph.
ALEX
Time to make it up to you. Come on.
27 EXT. DAY - BACK OF BIG MIKE'S 27
Page 32 of 81
ALEX knocks loudly on the door.
A teenage boy, DAVE in a BIG MIKE's uniform answers.
DAVE
Alex!
ALEX
Hey Davey...how 'bout two for two?
DAVE
Malts?
ALEX
(looks at ROBBIE)
Chocolate.
(ROBBIE nods)
DAVE disappears for moment.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Now, if he ever shows up at our back
door, we owe him chicken and smoothies.
ROBBIE
But...don't we get an employee discount?
Shouldn't we go in the front?
ALEX
Well...the discount is larger this way.
ROBBIE is getting out money from his pocket, counting through
it.
DAVE shows up with two burgers and two malts, and hands them
to ALEX, disappears and shuts the door quickly. ROBBIE is
still staring at his money.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Come on...let's go eat!
They walk out of frame.
28 INT -DAY AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK 28
ALEX and ROBBIE are cleaning tables after another busy lunch.
WE SEE that AOKEE is filling up a bucket, and getting a scrub
brush, and heads out the doorway.
ALEX
Oh boy. Here we go.
ROBBIE
What now?
ALEX
Aokee. The pigeons have been taking
target practice on his trophy pedestal.
Come on.
They exit out the same doorway as AOKEE.
Page 33 of 81
29 EXT - DAY - AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK 29
AOKEE is busily cleaning and cursing the pigeons.
AOKEE
(speaking Hawaiian)
Stupid Pigeons. They should all die!
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
Happens every week.
ROBBIE
(to AOKEE)
What is this thing for anyway?
AOKEE
Someday, Robbie. Someday.
He keeps cleaning.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
That stand is to display the coveted
Surfer King trophy.
Aokee seems to think that one day some
concessions kid with more courage than
brains is going to beat the lifeguards in
the annual Employee Olympics.
ROBBIE
And what would this concessions kid have
to do?
ALEX
Nothing, really. Just out surf the
strongest guard of them all in the
surfing competition. No big deal.
ROBBIE
Has it ever happened?
ALEX
A guard always wins the surf competition.
Know why?
TOGETHER
(ROBBIE and ALEX)
Because concessions kids can't swim!
AOKEE
(still cleaning)
Someday.
They go back into AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK.
30 INT MOMENTS LATER -DAY- AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK 30
ROBBIE is now behind the counter making smoothies. He puts
Page 34 of 81
them up and the two kids waiting take them and walk away.
In walk AMY and KATIE.
KATIE
(to ROBBIE)
Hi there.
ROBBIE
(blinking, smiling)
Hello. On break?
KATIE
Yeah. Two Blue Crushes please.
ROBBIE
Coming up.
He shakes a mix container, blends it for about 5 seconds and
pours it out into two cups. He then puts in two umbrellas
with pineapple.
AMY
Oooh. Umbrellas. I've never gotten
umbrellas before.
ROBBIE
These are only for VIP guests.
AMY looks over to KATIE and rolls her eyes.
ALEX arrives at this point, and decides to provide a
distraction.
ALEX
Amy. Have you ever seen the fabulous
Cummings and Robbins 2000-B?
AMY
(shaking her head)
I don't think so.
As he leads her back into the kitchen...
ALEX
It's incredible. It washes 2000 plates
an hour....
KATIE
(to ROBBIE)
So... you're not from around here, huh?
ROBBIE
California. I just moved here at the
beginning of the summer.
KATIE
I'll bet California's nice. I've never
been west of the mountains.
Page 35 of 81
ROBBIE
You'd love the ocean. And the sunsets
are incredible. You can almost hear the
sizzle as the sun drops into the ocean...
(daydreaming a bit)
Of course, we all know it doesn't drop
into the ocean.
KATIE
No.
(pause)
I'm surprised you're not a guard, coming
from the ocean and all.
ROBBIE
Let's just say I missed my chance, and
Alex saved me from a death worse than
fate. I was very nearly a trash rat.
KATIE
(frowns)
Oh. Good save.
ALEX has distracted AMY all he could and they return from the
kitchen.
AMY
Well. That was exciting. Maybe next
time you can show me how to scrub the
grill. Come on, Katie.
They leave.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE, interested)
Well...how'd you do?
ROBBIE
(thinking)
Mmmm. I told her how beautiful the
California sunsets are.
ALEX
Good job. You work fast. Hey it's time
for our break. Bring your swimsuit?
ROBBIE
Yeah. The Wave?
ALEX
The Wave. I love that water.
ROBBIE looks confused.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Can't swim. It's only three inches deep.
ROBBIE
(grabbing his suit and a towel)
Ah ha! Let's go.
Page 36 of 81
31 EXT -MOMENTS LATER - THE WAVE AREA 31
ROBBIE and ALEX have their swimsuits on, and are in line to
get on THE WAVE. ALEX is coaching ROBBIE.
ALEX
Now, just take it easy, and don't expect
too much at first. When you wipe out,
your ride is done.
ALEX is up now, and he grabs the board and jumps in. He is
pretty good, but not nearly as good as the WAVE BUMS. He
does a few tricks and wipes out. He gets up and walks up to
the line to watch ROBBIE.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(shouting)
Just ease into it.
ROBBIE takes the board and looks around. He jumps full force
onto the wave. It takes him just a moment to get the feel of
the board, and then he is all over it, making the WAVE BUMS
look like rookies. Spins, rolls, everything that can be done
he does. Finally, the guard blows a whistle indicating that
his time is up.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(meeting him at the exit)
Gees. Where did you learn to do that?
ROBBIE
I'm from Oceanside, California. I was
born on a surfboard.
They start walking back.
They stop for a moment to look at Thunder Bay. Just then a
wave spews out, and kids on tubes are screaming as they
always do.
ALEX
Think you could ride that?
ROBBIE
(looking right into ALEX's
eyes)
In my sleep.
ALEX just smiles.
32 INT - LATER THAT DAY - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 32
AOKEE is cleaning up behind the counter. ALEX is grinning
like the cat that ate the canary.
AOKEE
What you so happy about?
ALEX
Page 37 of 81
(shaking his head)
You're not gonna believe it...
AOKEE
Listen. Some guy came in today and try
to buy a sandwich and pay with a phone
card. Today I believe anything.
ALEX
I took Robbie to The Wave today.
AOKEE
(looking around)
What? He drown?
ALEX
No. It turns out that he's from
Oceanside. California. You know, where
they always hold those surf competitions?
AOKEE
Yeah. So?
ALEX
It turns out that he placed second in the
state high school finals for the
shortboard competition. As a Sophomore.
AOKEE
Robbie.
(laughing in disbelief,
dismissive, then serious)
Robbie barely walk without help.
ALEX
I saw it myself. You wouldn't believe
it.
We hear a loud CRASH from the kitchen. AOKEE winces and
gestures toward the kitchen.
AOKEE
I don' believe it. Our Robbie?
ALEX
Our Robbie.
AOKEE
(thinking)
If this true....this could be da year.
ALEX
That's what I was thinking.
AOKEE
Well, go get him. We need to make ready.
He not just walk in and win this thing.
ALEX
You heard it. He's in the kitchen...
Page 38 of 81
ALEX goes into the back. AOKEE sits at a table. Robbie
comes out of the kitchen wearing a dishwasher apron.
AOKEE
Robbie, sit down. Alex, make up a
Volcano. This boy in training.
ROBBIE
(sitting down, worried)
What did I spill now?
WE HEAR the whine of a blender as ALEX is working on the
Volcano Smoothie.
AOKEE
Robbie, Alex tell me you are some kind of
surfer. This true?
ROBBIE
I dunno. Yeah, surfing is usually how I
spend my summers.
AOKEE
You know about Employee Olympics?
ROBBIE
Yeah. Some kind of trophy.
AOKEE
Surfer King trophy. Very big. Very
nice.
(looking down)
Concessions never win.
ALEX arrives with the Volcano Smoothie. He turns a chair
around and sits. They will gang up on him.
ROBBIE
I dunno...seems kind of silly to me.
ALEX
It's a big deal. Every girl wants to date
you. Every guy wants to BE you.
Special privileges...we all wear standard
uniforms. The Surfer King gets to be
creative. You ever see the cowboy hat
Cowboy wears?
ROBBIE
It shouldn't be that hard...how good
could this Cowboy be?
AOKEE
He very good. His family go to Hawaii
every year, two, three weeks. Good
surfer. If you do this, you need to see
Pipeman.
ROBBIE
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Pipeman?
ALEX
He's a myth.
AOKEE
Oh, no. Pipeman very real. Works here
in park. Low profile. You must find him
and convince him to teach you the secrets
of the Thunder Bay wave. This not the
ocean, surf boy.
ALEX
(thinking)
Pipeman. The Banzai Pipeline. I get it.
Some kind of legendary surf champ. Where
do we find him?
AOKEE
I only see him once, maybe twice. Stay
behind scenes. But here he is and find
him you must.
(to ROBBIE)
So. You do this?
Robbie looks at them, thinking for a moment.
CUT TO:
33 INT -MOMENTS LATER - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 33
WE SEE quarters going ding ding ding into the pay phone on
AOKEE'S wall. The shot widens to reveal AOKEE is dumping
quarters and ROBBIE is holding the phone. He puts it up to
his ear.
ROBBIE
(into phone)
Hello, Grandma? No, I'm fine. Listen,
Grandma...I need you to send me a few of
my things...
AOKEE and ALEX are huddled around smiling.
34 INT - DAY - BIG MIKE'S OFFICE 34
BIG MIKE is standing, walking around as he speaks, TIFFANY is
sitting. Clearly she is being scolded.
BIG MIKE
(angry)
....why you wouldn't believe the things
I've heard. Just stupid things. Cutting
in line. Demanding special treatment.
Oh, and how about this one:
(mimicking her)
Princesses don't carry trash.
(back to his voice)
I've often thought it was a mistake to
have you work here. Maybe I was right.
Page 40 of 81
TIFFANY
(trying to dance out of it)
Oh, daddy. You know how jealous people
get.
BIG MIKE
I'd almost believe that. But I was behind
the First Aid station when you said the
"princess" line. This park exists
because the kids here work hard. They
need to be treated fairly. They need to
see you are just another lifeguard.
TIFFANY
(protesting)
But I'm not just another lifeguard.
BIG MIKE
(mad again)
You won't even be that if this continues.
If you want to keep coming here every day
and driving that little convertible of
yours, I need to see real, concrete
changes in your attitude.
TIFFANY
All right. What do you expect me to do?
BIG MIKE
For one thing, start mingling with "the
commoners". You'd be amazed at how nice
some of the people who work here are.
Make some friends outside that little
group of yours. It's the work of the
average teenager here that puts food on
our table. Show some gratitude.
TIFFANY
(thinking a moment)
Fine. I'll work it.
BIG MIKE
(softening, but firm)
Good. Work on it. Please?
TIFFANY
(nodding, but we don't believe
her)
Oh, Daddy. Don't worry about a thing.
35 EXT MORNING - THE NEXT DAY - TIME SHACK 35
ROBBIE and ALEX hook up and grab their time cards. There is
a banner hanging that says, "Employee Luau Tonight", and
SKEETER and SNITCH have taken a 5 gallon bucket and are using
it as a stepladder to attach something.
SKEETER is on the bucket with a stapler in his hand. SNITCH
hands up the hand-lettered magic marker addition, which
Page 41 of 81
SKEETER staples on to the bottom of the banner while SNITCH
keeps a lookout.
The addition says, "COME GET LEI'D". They scamper off,
laughing.
ALEX
(looking up at the sign)
This will be good. Aokee throws a great
Luau.
ROBBIE
I don't how much fun it will be. With
Aokee hosting, we'll be working.
ALEX
There'll still be time for fun. Most of
the work is setting up. Besides, we get
paid, too. When was the last time you
got paid to party?
With that, ALEX punches in, as if to punctuate the line.
36 EXT - NIGHT - OUTSIDE AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 36
It is dark, but the place is lit up by little lights
everywhere, Christmas lights in the fake palm trees, TIKI
lights around AOKEE's, and lights lighting a stage where a
band is playing, what else, surf music.
Buffet tables line the area, and there is SMOOTHIE BAR set
up. BIG MIKE himself is behind the bar making smoothies,
while RICHARD is playing bass in the band. AOKEE is running
around making sure all the buffet items are full. Everyone
is wearing Leis, but the cheap plastic ones, except AOKEE and
his staff, who have real ones flown in from Hawaii.
AOKEE
(pouring out four smoothies to
ROBBIE and ALEX)
OK. You work hard, and we fine now.
Your time to party. Here they are.
Special Love Smoothies. Be careful!
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
These never fail.
ALEX picks up two Leis from a box behind the counter. He and
Robbie walk over to AMY and KATIE who are standing over near
the buffet.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(to ROBBIE, but if front of AMY
and Katie)
Now this will never do.
ROBBIE
(agreeing)
I'm afraid you're right. Something must
Page 42 of 81
be done.
ALEX and ROBBIE set the smoothies on a nearby table. They
remove the cheap plastic Leis the girls are wearing. Then
they put on the real ones they carried over. ALEX steps back
to admire his work.
ALEX
Oh, yes, yes....
ROBBIE
Perfect. A work of art.
The girls look at each other and smile. ALEX and ROBBIE grab
the smoothies and hand two to the girls. AMY sips hers right
away.
AMY
I don't remember anything like this on
Aokee's menu.
ROBBIE
They're..
ALEX
(interrupting)
..special smoothies. Fortunately, you
know people on the inside.
Onstage, the band had finished a tune before the dialog began
above. Now JAFFA steps up to the mike.
JAFFA
We'd like thank Aokee and his crew for
hosting this evening's Luau.
Everyone applauds, AOKEE waves. Alex raises a hand and waves
off the accolade. ROBBIE nods and smiles as the AMY and
KATIE clap as well.
JAFFA (CONT'D)
We'd also like to bring Aokee up to sing
one of his Hawaiian specialties.
Again, everyone claps and cheers him on. AOKEE goes on
stage.
ALEX
You girls want to dance?
KATIE
(grabbing ROBBIE's hand and
leading out to the dance
floor)
Sure.
AMY shrugs yes and goes out with ALEX.
AOKEE
(onstage)
Page 43 of 81
Mahalo and Aloha. This song is sung on
my island for all young people in
love...or about to be. Is called E
O'Mai, or, You Are Mine.
AOKEE begins singing the Hawaiian love song, "E O'Mai". Many
couples are dancing; it is a slow song.
ALEX, of course, is a goof. He dances slow, but every once
in a while executes a deep dip, much to AMY's terror.
EDDIE is off to the edge of the dance floor, watching,
longingly, and kind of swaying to the music. A couple of
girls walk by and he does a magic trick for them.
He holds both hands up, palms open to show he has nothing in
his hands. He also gestures that he has no sleeves (he is
wearing a tuxedo t-shirt). He reaches behind his back and
pulls out a trick bouquet of flowers, but they don't quite
open right, and are still unfolding as he holds them.
EDDIE smiles weakly, he knows that isn't quite how it was
supposed to go. The girls appear encouraging, but as they
leave look at each other and giggle.
We pick up ROBBIE and KATIE dancing.
KATIE
So. How are things working out at
Aokee's?
ROBBIE
Oh, he's great. Alex too. I thought
this summer was going to be a train
wreck, but it's not turning out too bad.
KATIE
Well, of course this isn't California...
ROBBIE
No, but it looks like I will get a chance
to do some surfing anyway.
KATIE
Really.
ROBBIE
Apparently there's some kind of surfing
contest and Aokee is all over me to
enter.
KATIE
You mean the Surfer King?
ROBBIE
You've heard of it?
KATIE
It's all the other girls seem to talk
about. This is my first year, but
Page 44 of 81
apparently it's a pretty big deal. Being
from Oceanside, you should have a good
chance.
ROBBIE
We'll see. It seems kind of stupid to
me. A surfing contest in Colorado.
(laughing)
My friends back home would never believe
it.
They continue to dance. WE SEE BIG MIKE talking to TIFFANY
and gesturing broadly. TIFFANY is clearly not agreeing with
what he is saying. COWBOY is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly she
throws up her hands and marches over to the dance floor where
EDDIE is standing alone, swaying a bit to the music.
She whispers something in his ear, and EDDIE'S eyes get real
big as she leads him by the hand to the middle of the dance
floor. She wraps her arms around EDDIE and they dance, all
the while glaring at her father.
EDDIE knows a good thing when he sees it, and quickly settles
in, Big Man on Campus. TIFFANY is taller than he is, so he
happily puts his head on HER shoulder.
BIG MIKE looks back at them, not happy with the way it
happened, but satisfied.
DOUG FITZGERALD (twenty bucks DOUG) is dancing with a girl
when ALEX, doing some kind of fancy spin to AMY, bumps into
him.
DOUG
(to ALEX)
Alex. Got my twenty bucks?
ALEX
Oh, Dougie. You know, I left my wallet
over in my locker. I'll see you before
we leave and get it to you then.
DOUG
Yeah, sure.
ALEX
You know, you could always come by
Aokee's and I could give it to you in
trade.
DOUG
Cash money, Alex. Cash money.
ALEX
No problem.
ALEX grabs AMY and swings her into another fancy move that
leads them away from DOUG.
Page 45 of 81
The song ends, and everybody claps. AOKEE bows.
ROBBIE
(to KATIE)
Hey, listen. Alex told me about this
great spot on the other side of Thunder
Bay that looks down on the party, but
it's a little more quiet. Want to go for
a walk?
KATIE
Sure.
They pick up their smoothies and walk off into the night.
37 EXT MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT - NORTH EDGE OF THUNDER BAY 37
ROBBIE is walking on the seawall that separates the bay from
the sunning area, tightrope style. KATIE walks next to him.
KATIE
So...what made your folks pick up from
beautiful southern California and move to
Colorado?
ROBBIE
Not both my folks. Just my Mom.
KATIE
Aha...trouble in paradise?
ROBBIE
Let's just say my father had an eye for
his administrative assistant, and now
they're both somewhere in Mexico. Mom
got a job here, some of her family's
here, so they said "Colorady is the place
you outta be".
KATIE
It could be worse.
ROBBIE
Well, I must admit, I've met some very
nice people.
(looking down and smiling)
In California, the attitude's a little
different. Here, not everyone is out to
prove something. Seem's like everyone
just wants to have fun.
KATIE
I have a theory. Sometimes it snows here
so hard, that it's a challenge just to
get to work or to school. Everything
shuts down for a day or so. If your car
gets stuck, people appear from nowhere to
help pull you out and get you back on the
road. Most people here don't just look
out for themselves. A lot of times,
Page 46 of 81
they're looking out for you, too.
38 EXT. MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 38
ALEX and AMY are inside the KIOSK. ALEX is showing her how
everything works.
ALEX
All these switches feed sound throughout
the park. Which reminds me.
He pulls out a CD and pops it into the CD Player and presses
PLAY. He sees a flyswatter and begins waving it around like
a sword.
ALEX (CONT'D)
And this is for bad little girls who
don't know how to have fun.
He begins swishing it around, AMY is giggling.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Oops. There....almost got you.
AMY is dodging and laughing. ALEX closes in and seems like
he will kiss her, but just starts gumming her neck, tickling
her. AMY leans back laughing and WE SEE her back hits the
volume knob on the amplifier.
39 EXT. NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER GRAND PAVILION 39
They have reached the area to the west of Thunder Bay. It is
simply a concrete pad that overlooks the party below. We
hear "Paradise is in Your Eyes" by Michael Peace, which
begins with a lot of jungle sound effects.
KATIE
(looking down at the party)
You were right. This is nice.
(reacting to the jungle noises)
But not necessarily quieter.
ROBBIE
Just a sec.
He walks away slightly and gets on the radio.
ROBBIE (CONT'D)
Hey, Alex. Give us break down here.
Turn down the sound effects.
40 EXT. NIGHT - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 40
ALEX and AMY are kissing; she is up on the counter of the
KIOSK.
ALEX
(interrupting, but to AMY)
Uh oh. Sorry. Hold that thought.
Page 47 of 81
He grabs the radio.
ALEX (CONT'D)
(into the radio)
I'm on it.
He turns down the volume back to normal. He also flips a
switch. They hear the tune now, and AMY jumps off the
counter, stands there and smiles. ALEX does an over-the-top
mambo moving to her and they start to slow dance.
41 EXT. NIGHT - GRAND PAVILION 41
ROBBIE has set down the radio, and is walking back to KATIE
now, who is swaying to the music. He doesn't get too close
to her, and actually stands off to her left.
Since she has the room and is momentarily inspired, she
begins a few dance moves, ballet, and then ballroom style.
ROBBIE has seen this sort of thing before, and instinctively,
almost without thinking steps in and becomes her dance
partner. They proceed in a beautiful dance that almost seems
rehearsed. Finally it occurs to them both.
ROBBIE
(quizzically)
So where did you learn to dance like
this?
KATIE
(smiling)
Eight years at Miss Vickie's Studio of
Dance. What surprises me is you.
ROBBIE
(somewhat embarrassed, keeps
dancing)
Can you keep my deepest, darkest secret?
KATIE
Of course.
ROBBIE
(hesitantly)
When you grow up within spitting distance
of Hollywood, every mother seems to think
her child is the next Harrison Ford. So
when I was about 12, my Mom started
taking me to all these auditions for
things.
KATIE
So are you the next Harrison Ford?
ROBBIE
Some days I'm not even the next Robbie
Zirpollo.
They continue to dance. After a few moments...
Page 48 of 81
KATIE
....and?
They stop and walk over to the railing overlooking the party.
ROBBIE
Turns out I get this part. They're
selling some dish soap or something, and
they think it will be magical to have
two twelve year old kids dancing ballroom
on this fantasy set with clouds and
everything. They lock this girl and I
into a dance studio with a choreographer
for two weeks, and then they shoot the
commercial.
KATIE
Doesn't sound so terrible. You certainly
learned how to dance.
ROBBIE
Yeah, but when it came out everyone in
school saw it. I couldn't go anywhere
for six months without everyone in the
room laughing their heads off.
KATIE
(touched, drawing closer)
I'm not laughing.
They kiss, then return to dancing.
42 EXT. MORNING - THE NEXT DAY - OUTSIDE AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK 42
SHACK - SURF MUSIC BED
WE SEE ALEX and ROBBIE discussing something; forming a plan.
They are going to look for Pipeman. ALEX gestures in one
direction, and ROBBIE takes off. ALEX goes in another.
43 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - DAY FIRST AID SHACK NEAR 43
FUNHOUSE - SURF MUSIC BED
ALEX walks up to the Guard, appears to ask a question. The
guard shakes his head "no".
ALEX walks off.
44 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - GIFT SHOP - SURF MUSIC BED 44
ROBBIE is talking to a cashier in the store. She shakes her
head 'no'. Robbie walks out hurriedly.
45 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK - SURF45
MUSIC BED
ALEX is talking to Jaffa. JAFFA gestures wildly, as if
telling some big mythical story, but at the end throws up his
hands as if to say, "I don't know".
Page 49 of 81
46 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - SOMEWHERE AT WATER WORLD - 46
SURF MUSIC BED
We are in pitch darkness. We hear the sound of heavy
scraping metal. Lights shine and we are looking up through a
manhole cover being removed. ROBBIE bends over the hole and
hollers "PIPEMAN" and peers in. He shakes his head
negatively and moves on.
47 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - BIG MIKE'S - SURF MUSIC BED 47
We are at the back door to Big Mike's. ALEX knocks, and the
same kid as before, DAVE, pops his head out. ALEX appears to
ask a question, DAVE goes back in as ALEX waits. DAVE comes
out again and gestures, "no one knows". ALEX starts to leave,
but turns back and asks something else. DAVE disappears and
comes back with a burger. ALEX shrugs, and walks away
unwrapping and eating the burger.
48 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - BACK OF SOME BUILDING 48
ROBBIE sees a door marked, "EMPLOYEES ONLY". He looks down
at his employee ID and shrugs and goes in. As he enters we
see he is pushed out by some unknown force. Out the open
door comes "Wally" the Water World mascot, who walks off.
Robbie has been knocked to the ground and looks up, shaking
his head. He gets up and walks off.
49 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - BACK OF SOME BUILDING - SURF49
MUSIC BED
Now it is ALEX who has separately come upon the same door,
not knowing ROBBIE has already been there. He enters, and
the door remains open. We hear girls screaming and he exits
quickly, followed by a volley of thrown girl's underwear,
swimsuits and towels.
50 INT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - THUNDER BAY PUMPHOUSE - SURF50
MUSIC BED
This room is creepy. It is full of loud pumps and large
pipes. ROBBIE is making his way through a labyrinth of
piping and gauges and the like. He peers and sees a head
with a red scarf, but it moves out of view. Surf music
fades.
There is a constant whine of the pumps. ROBBIE moves further
in and finally comes across a man holding a large pipewrench,
with his back to him. He is working to tame a small leak.
ROBBIE
(quietly)
Hello?
No reaction.
ROBBIE (CONT'D)
(loudly this time)
Hello?
Page 50 of 81
This startles and kind of angers PIPEMAN.
PIPEMAN
Hey. You're not supposed to be in here.
ROBBIE
Yeah, sorry. Are you Pipeman?
PIPEMAN
(recovering from the startle)
Not on purpose.
I guess some people call me Pipeman.
'Spose it's better than Carl.
ROBBIE
So you're real name's Carl?
PIPEMAN
No. I just said Pipeman was a better
name than Carl.
ROBBIE
Oh. Well, my name's Robbie. I work at
Aokee's.
PIPEMAN
Oh. OK. What the hell you doin' down
here?
ROBBIE
I need your help.
PIPEMAN
That scrubsink at Aokee's leakin' again?
Gees, I knew we shoudda replaced...
ROBBIE
It's not the scrub sink. I need your
help. I'm competing in the Employee
Olympics. With your advanced surfing
experience, Aokee thought you might be
able to help me.
PIPEMAN
(to himself)
Everybody wants to be the Surfer King.
(to ROBBIE)
What advanced surfing experience?
ROBBIE
Well, you know. "Pipeman"? Hawaii's
North Shore? Surfing the pipeline?
PIPEMAN
Ohhh. Bad news, kid. I hate to
disappoint you, but this is the reason
they call me Pipeman. I'm the plumber
around here.
PIPEMAN holds up the large wrench.
Page 51 of 81
ROBBIE
Oh, boy. See, I'm from California, and
I can surf, I just don't know what to
expect from the wave on Thunder Bay.
I...I was just hoping you could help, I
really am sorry for bothering you.
ROBBIE begins walking out, dejected. PIPEMAN looks at him,
and feels sorry for him.
PIPEMAN
Wait a minute, kid. I do know a little
about surfing. I also know a lot about
the wave here. What exactly are you
looking for from me?
ROBBIE
(perking up)
I need a mentor; you know like in Karate
Kid.
PIPEMAN
Karate Kid. He works at Big Mike's
doesn't he?
ROBBIE
No, no it's a movie.
PIPEMAN
Never seen it. Don't know much about
this mentor thing. How's it work?
ROBBIE
Generally, you, as mentor, draw on some
personal religious philosophy to first
intimidate, and then later inspire me.
What religion are you?
PIPEMAN
(proudly)
I'm Norman.
ROBBIE
Ah, Brigham Young and all that.
PIPEMAN
No, no NNNNORM-AN. We follow the big fat
guy on Cheers reruns.
ROBBIE
Okay...and your belief structure....
PIPEMAN
Usually involves a lot of beer and corn
nuts, but I don't think that's gonna work
here.
(thinking)
Tell you what.
Meet me at Thunder Bay tomorrow morning,
Page 52 of 81
eight a.m., bring your board and we'll
work something out.
ROBBIE
(happily)
Great, perfect. Thanks. I won't let you
down.
(walking away, muttering to
himself)
What the heck is a corn-nut?
51 EXT. MORNING - THE NEXT DAY - THUNDER BAY 51
WE SEE Thunder Bay looking east. AOKEE and ALEX are setting
up lawn chairs. AOKEE is lathering on suntan lotion, and
puts on a large straw hat. ALEX puts sun block cream on his
nose, and they both sit on the lawn chairs. They both have
large smoothies.
ROBBIE appears with his surfboard, and lays it up against the
east fence at Thunder Bay. PIPEMAN arrives carrying a small
device in a plastic ziplock bag.
ROBBIE approaches PIPEMAN.
ROBBIE
Hi! Glad you could make it.
(pointing to PIPEMAN's hand)
What's that?
PIPEMAN
This is how I trigger the wave.
ROBBIE
With that? A garage door clicker?
PIPEMAN
What did you think? Waves just happen?
This is Colorado, kid. Now get your
board and get in the water.
Robbie gets his board and jumps into Thunder Bay, paddling
over to the narrow side where the wave begins.
PIPEMAN goes down the stairs leading to near where ROBBIE has
positioned himself.
PIPEMAN (CONT'D)
You sure that's where you want to be?
ROBBIE
Should be about right. Aren't you
getting in? Where's your board?
PIPEMAN
Mentors don't get wet. I looked it up.
(pressing the clicker)
Get ready.
A wave comes and ROBBIE begins paddling. He misses it,
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splashes the water angrily and turns back to paddle to
position again. AOKEE and ALEX look at each other nervously.
PIPEMAN (CONT'D)
Want to know what you did wrong?
ROBBIE
(mad)
Just gimme another wave.
PIPEMAN
Oakey doakey.
Another wave comes. ROBBIE paddles furiously and misses it
again. Now he's really angry.
ROBBIE
(tersely)
Okay. Please. Tell me what I did wrong.
PIPEMAN
You're in the wrong position. The wave
doesn't crest that soon. Move ten feet
further away from the back wall.
ROBBIE
(to himself)
The ocean never had a back wall.
(to Pipeman)
Thank you.
ROBBIE paddles over to the spot suggested by PIPEMAN. AOKEE
and ALEX are now sitting on the edge of the lawn chairs
anxiously awaiting the next wave. It comes and ROBBIE
catches it easily and begins riding it aggressively. He has
a good run and kicks out at the end.
AOKEE and ALEX high-five.
ALEX AND AOKEE
(together)
Yeee-haww.
They settle back into their chairs to absorb some sun.
52 INT. DAY AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK - DAY 52
AOKEE is behind the counter finishing up making a smoothie.
RICHARD, head lifeguard is on the other side; he will get the
smoothie.
RICHARD
(grinning)
So. I hear he's pretty good. Haven't
seen him myself yet.
AOKEE
(concerned, covering)
Good? Good at what? Who you mean?
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RICHARD
Come on. Your ringer from California.
Everyone says he's gonna give Cowboy a
run for his money.
AOKEE
Robbie? Robbie barely walk without help.
We hear a loud CRASH from the kitchen.
RICHARD
Gees!
AOKEE
Ha!
AOKEE gestures back towards the kitchen.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
Your Surfer King. We just make a good
show. Your boy have nothing to worry
about.
RICHARD
You know I'd feel a lot better if you
hadn't taken most of my money in that
poker game last Friday night.
AOKEE
(dismissive)
Poker? Not an island game. I no good.
RICHARD
(nods)
Right. Tell you what. Sight unseen even
money, twenty dollars on Cowboy.
AOKEE
You want to bet with me? Take my twenty
dollars, just like that? Humph. Not
worth the trouble, twenty dollars. Now,
maybe a hundred...
RICHARD
A hundred bucks...
ANOTHER CRASH from the kitchen, this time pots & pans.
AOKEE
(to kitchen)
Robbie!
RICHARD
OK, a hundred bucks.
They slap hands to seal the deal. RICHARD leaves, grinning
and shaking his head.
AOKEE
(to kitchen)
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Robbie? That you? Come out here.
ROBBIE
(entering from kitchen)
Sorry, dude, that tray was way off
balance.
AOKEE
Robbie, our secret getting out. You
practice too good.
ROBBIE
(happy)
I'm really getting the hang of that wave.
AOKEE
Fall more. Make good show.
ROBBIE
(thinking)
I'll try to remember to look and see
who's watching.
AOKEE
(pours the rest of RICHARD's
smoothie)
Good. Here, have a smoothie. You too
skinny to surf good.
ROBBIE smiles and takes the smoothie back to the kitchen.
53 EXT EARLY MORNING. - THUNDER BAY 53
ROBBIE and PIPEMAN are in the middle of a practice session.
PIPEMAN is at the side, ROBBIE is in the water on his board.
PIPEMAN
(gesturing)
OK, now this time, get up on the board
more quickly. This is a wave pool and
this wave dissipates quickly. You only
have a little time to show your stuff.
ROBBIE
How will the judging work?
PIPEMAN
You get a possible ten points. Three for
your surfing, three for your style and
four for the judge's overall impression
of your ride. No one's ever gotten a
ten...I'm not really sure why.
ROBBIE
You've seen the competition. What does
everybody do?
PIPEMAN
Everybody just surfs, man and tries not
to fall. The big reason Cowboy's done so
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well is he goes to Hawaii for a couple
weeks every year. But there he's mostly
a longboarder. Your job is to figure out
how to make the most outta this little
wave.
ROBBIE
OK. I'm ready.
The wave comes and ROBBIE catches it and surfs it hard,
kicking up high at the end.
54 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - HILL ABOVE THUNDER BAY 54
WE SEE COWBOY and TIFFANY standing overlooking Thunder Bay.
COWBOY has binoculars and is looking through them.
COWBOY
He's pretty good, I'll give him that.
TIFFANY
(concerned)
How good?
COWBOY
If I have an off day, he could win.
TIFFANY
(really concerned)
That's terrible. You're the Surfer King.
COWBOY
Well, some days you get the wave, and
some days the wave gets you.
TIFFANY
This can't happen. What are we gonna do?
COWBOY
I don't know what you're going to do, but
as me for me, I'm gonna schedule some
practice time of my own.
TIFFANY
This may take a lot more than extra
practice.
COWBOY
Well, I don't know what else you expect.
I'll go out and do my best. If that's
not enough, it's not enough.
TIFFANY grabs the binoculars and stares down at Thunder Bay.
WE SEE gears turning in her head.
55 EXT. MORNING - THE NEXT DAY - CUSTOMER SERVICE KIOSK 55
ROBBIE and Alex are walking by. JAFFA sees them.
JAFFA
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Hey, surfer boy! I got fifty bucks at
three to one! Don't let me down, mon.
ROBBIE
(to JAFFA)
Hey Jaffa. NO worries.
(to ALEX, shocked)
People are betting on me?
ALEX
Just a little friendly pool. No big
deal. Helps make this more interesting.
Concessions never had a chance before...
ROBBIE
I've seen this Cowboy practice. His
style is more longboard, and this is a
shortboard wave, but he's still pretty
good. I could lose you know.
Two concessions girls are walking by them.
CONCESSIONS GIRLS
(together)
Hi Robbie!
ROBBIE
How ya doin'
(to Alex after they have gone
by)
See. How come everyone knows me by sight
now?
ALEX
Ah, you're the next big thing. You'll
survive it. The Employee Olympics are
only a week away. What happens is we
have this big opening ceremony where each
team chooses a theme and we're judged on
our spirit. Then different teams compete
in contests that test their Water World
skills. The next morning it all ends
with the surf contest. You ready?
Another group of concession girls calls ROBBIE from one of
the snack bars. He waves.
ROBBIE
I suppose. I've been working out a
strategy to use if Cowboy has a real good
day. It's risky...
Just then they both nearly run headlong into TIFFANY.
TIFFANY
Well, hello Robbie.
ROBBIE
(surprised)
You know me?
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TIFFANY
Of course I know you. It's my father's
park, I try get to know everyone.
ALEX
(interrupting, eager)
I'm Alex!
TIFFANY
Yes, I'm sure you are.
(ignoring ALEX, back to Robbie)
It's been a while since I've been to
Aokee's. Do you suppose if I come down
in a little while you could make some of
that special chicken, what is it?
ROBBIE
The best teriyaki east of the Pacific.
TIFFANY
Yes...and one those smoothies I hear so
much about?
ROBBIE
(stunned)
Well, sure. I'll be working all
afternoon.
TIFFANY
It's a date then. See you later!
She walks off. ROBBIE just stands there. ALEX starts
walking, then comes back. Finally ALEX pushes him on the
shoulder.
ALEX
Come on, we gotta get back.
ROBBIE
(still shocked)
Yes. Yes we do.
56 INT. DAY AOKEE'S SURF AND SNACK SHACK 56
AOKEE is wiping the counter alone. HE turns toward the
kitchen...
AOKEE
Alex! We need more large smoothie cups
out here!
AOKEE continues cleaning up. ALEX shows up with a load of
cups, AOKEE takes them and starts placing then.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
(to ALEX)
Look at that.
WE SEE in a far corner of AOKEE's TIFFANY and ROBBIE in an
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animated, engaging conversation.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
Second time this week. Our boy Big Man
on Campus, huh?
ALEX
Big something. I hope he knows how to
work without a net.
AOKEE
Well. We all grow up sometime. He not
drop a tray of dishes in days. Something
going right. You think he ready?
ALEX
I guess we'll both find out on Sunday. I
sure hope so.
WE SEE TIFFANY and ROBBIE again, and TIFFANY is laughing
loudly at some joke ROBBIE has made.
57 EXT NEAR SUNSET - TIME SHACK 57
ROBBIE, ALEX, AMY and KATIE are clocking out for the day.
ROBBIE clocks out first. TIFFANY drives up in her
convertible.
TIFFANY
(waving him over)
Robbie!
ROBBIE goes over to talk to her. WE SEE him go around to the
passenger side.
ROBBIE
(shouting)
Alex! I won't need a ride tonight after
all. Tiff's taking me home!
ROBBIE jumps in and they drive away. ALEX, AMY and KATIE are
still standing on the porch of the TIME SHACK, shocked at
what they've seen.
ALEX
(disbelief)
Tiff?
AMY
(grossed out)
Tiff?
KATIE
(forlorn, stunned)
Tiff.
WE SEE ROBBIE and TIFFANY drive out the gate. We see KATIE
walk slowly out of the park alone.
As she is walking, we flash back to scenes of KATIE and
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ROBBIE together, dancing and laughing. This time the dance
moves to the song of Allison Krause's "New Favorite".
We take a final look at KATIE with the setting sun at her
back and see she is crying.
58 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL EAST SIDE 58
We see the rising sun behind AOKEE's head as he raises a
conch shell and blows it like a horn. He is dressed like a
Hawaiian prince.
As the shot widens it reveals six males and two females
dressed in Hawaiian native garb. ROBBIE And ALEX are among
several drummers with bamboos sticks in their hands that
provide percussion for the Hawaiian war dance.
AOKEE
Aie, noka moka kei kai ke alo.
The drums begin and the male dancers, carrying spears begin
the Hawaiian war dance. The drummers sing the Hawaiian folk
tune "No ka moku Kiakahi Ke Aloha".
There are about 100 concessions kids in regular uniform
sitting cross-legged behind them, clapping the beat in
unison.
The MALE DANCERS circle each other in time to the beat,
gesturing a story the seems to involve some invading army.
The war dance progresses until the invading warriors are
defeated and the folk song ends. At the end, the kids
sitting behind raise their hand and shout.
CONCESSIONS GIRLS AND BOYS
Concessions! Concessions! Concessions!
Looking to the south side of the pool, we see about 50
grounds kids sitting in rows. In our foreground there are
six large trash cans, with toilet plungers arranged next to
them, 2 each.
To our left are a line of six grounds kids in army fatigues
carrying brooms as if rifles. The lead kid shouts:
LEAD MARCHER
Company! Forward, march.
THE DRILL team marches into full view. The grounds kids
behind clap the march beat. The marchers stop in front of
the line of trash cans.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
Company! Halt!
They do.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
Present Arms!
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The brooms come off their shoulders and are held forward.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
Company!
MARCHERS
Yes sir.
LEAD MARCHER
Order arms.
They begin a routine practiced with brooms, in a cadence,
clapped by the grounds kids behind them.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
What do you do if it's wet and not yours?
MARCHERS
(in cadence)
Don't touch it! Don't touch it!
LEAD MARCHER
How do you deal with a full can of trash?
MARCHERS
We empty! We empty!
LEAD MARCHER
Sound off!
MARCHERS
Trash Rats!
LEAD MARCHER
Again!
MARCHERS
Trash Rats!
LEAD MARCHER
Sound off, Trash Rats.
MARCHERS
Trash rats! Trash Rats!
They stop. Their brooms are raised over their heads.
LEAD MARCHER
Company! Brooms Ho!
They allow their brooms to fall to their right side and march
to the trash cans. They pull out bright blue ski masks, a la
BLUE MAN GROUP, and pick up the toilet plungers. The lead
marcher holds his plunger high and shouts.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
Company! Begin!
He counts a four beat rhythm and they begin a BLUE MAN/STOMP
like drum routine with the trash cans.
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Two grounds kids in regular grounds uniforms approach holding
steel trash can lids by the handles (with gloves). These
become drums as well as two of the drummers switch from trash
can to can lids using the stick side of the toilet plunger as
the drumstick.
A competition erupts from the left and right sides of the
line as they each set a beat and then the other matches.
Finally, a show of unity as both sides join back into the
beat for an ending flourish.
They pick up their brooms and turn their attention to the
kids behind them. They begin to march in place and the seated
grounds kids clap for the tempo.
LEAD MARCHER (CONT'D)
(to the seated GROUNDS KIDS)
What do you do when the table's a mess?
GROUNDS KIDS
(together)
We wipe it! We wipe it!
LEAD MARCHER
What do you do when a toilet's stopped
up?
GROUNDS KIDS
We plunge it! We plunge it!
LEAD MARCHER
Sound off!
GROUNDS KIDS
Trash rats!
LEAD MARCHER
Sound off!
GROUNDS KIDS
Trash rats!
LEAD MARCHER
Sound off trash rats!
GROUNDS KIDS
Trash rats! Trash rats!
They clap and cheer, and settle back down to sit.
All is quiet now. WE SEE concessions kids sitting, grounds
kids sitting and we look to the west side of the pool and see
lifeguards sitting. Everyone is looking around.
Suddenly two lifeguards dressed as Roman Soldiers appear with
horns. They bellow a Roman Call to Action, and two Roman
drummers lead a column of other lifeguards.
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First we see female guards dressed in togas filing in. Behind
them are six gladiators with swords and shields, marching.
They are followed by one female lifeguard with a basket of
rose petals. She is throwing them into the path of the next
group to enter.
Next we see six more guards dressed as slaves carrying
COWBOY, who is sitting up on a First Aid backboard. HE is
wearing laurel leaves and a toga, he is obviously Cesar. On
the backboard is also the surfer king trophy.
They all approach the area in front of the seated guards, and
rearrange themselves so that COWBOY has a good view of the
gladiators. The drummers count a cadence that sets the pace
for a simulated battle between the gladiators.
The simulated battle rages until three of the gladiators are
on their knees before the three victorious gladiators. The
victorious gladiators hold their swords over the fallen ones,
and look to COWBOY for a yea or nay.
COWBOY generously waves and makes a thumbs up signal, and the
swords are put away. The seated lifeguards all raise their
fists and shout.
LIFEGUARDS
(together)
Lifeguards! Lifeguards! Lifeguards!
The guards holding COWBOY set him down in front of an
elevated platform that has a microphone..
COWBOY picks up the surfer king trophy and walks to the
platform. He sets the trophy on a table next to the
microphone, arranging it carefully.
We see now there is a large banner hanging at the back of the
wave pool that says "WATER WORLD WELCOMES EMPLOYEE
OLYMPIANS".
COWBOY moves to the microphone and raises his arm in a regal
manner and speaks.
COWBOY
(to all)
Let the games...begin!
The seated crowd now stands and cheers loudly. We see a
group of three people, two male and one female, adults we
will later identify as JUDGES. They nod approvingly and
write something down on their clipboards. We see BIG MIKE
near them, smiling broadly.
59 EXT. LATER THAT DAY - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL EAST SIDE 59
We see that the lounge chairs have been removed and the area
is clear. There are scattered squashed up pieces of white
paper lying about.
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We look to the south and see that there are three boy/girl
teams with one of their legs tied together, like a three
legged race.
The rub here is one team member has the dustpan and the other
team member has the broom. A JUDGE triggers a starter pistol
and they are off.
The lifeguard team falls almost immediately, and the grounds
team takes a early lead over the concessions team, who are
trying to figure the dustpan/broom operation out. The two
grounds people work tightly together and quickly advance.
The lifeguards have gotten back up and are hobbling up to
their first piece of trash. Concessions has figured out the
dustpan, but are still well behind the grounds kids.
Finally, the grounds kids win, with concessions up second,
and lifeguards trailing in third. The judges note the finish
on their clipboards.
60 EXT. LATER THAT DAY - THUNDER BAY 60
We see three male participants standing in the shallow end of
Thunder Bay, One red suit (lifeguard) one blue suit
(concessions) and one green suit (grounds)
A JUDGE on the rise to the west of Thunder Bay blows an air
horn to start the race. They all rush into the bay and begin
swimming furiously.
The guard takes the lead quickly, followed not far behind by
the grounds kid. The concessions kid is working hard and
splashing a lot but not getting very far.
As the guard reaches the back wall, he does an underwater
racing turn and swims back toward the point where they
started. Right behind him, the smaller grounds kid does the
same thing.
As they are returning, they pass the concessions kid, who
still is splashing a lot but not going fast. After they pass
him he stops, as he is tired out.
Momentarily he can't even tread water any more, and a guard
watching from the sidelines jumps in and pulls him out. The
swimming guard has beaten the grounds kid, the concessions
kid never finishes.
61 EXT LATER THAT DAY - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL SOUTH SIDE 61
There are three lines set up with several participants. It
is a relay race, with the baton replaced by a tray full of
drinks in paper cups, water. The colors indicate again
concessions, guards and grounds.
The race is already in full swing, with concessions in the
lead. The last group of relayers are now getting their
trays, and concessions is way ahead.
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Everyone is cheering their team on. The final pass is made
to SARAH who works for AOKEE's. She takes the tray and moves
gracefully to the final stop. There is a small table on
which the drinks must be placed.
She is clearly going to win when she suddenly stops.
All concessions kids are shocked and plead her to go on.
She does a nifty and graceful around the back maneuver with
the tray, proceeds to the table, and sets down the drinks,
tipping the tray sideways to show no water has been spilled.
The JUDGES scribble furiously.
62 EXT. LATER THAT DAY - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 62
Three picnic tables are set up in front of AOKEE's. WE dolly
past each one to see that they are cluttered indentically
with what appears to be the leftovers from lunch for four.
Behind each table is a team of two guards, concessions and
grounds kids.
A JUDGE blows a whistle and we begin by looking at the
lifeguard team.
It is a boy and a girl and the girl is not too keen on this.
They bring a trash can with them and begin gingerly clearing
the table, acting as if they are afraid to get their hands
dirty.
We dolly left to see the concessions team a little ahead of
the guard team.
We dolly further left to reveal a grounds kid in a full rain
suit with a face shield.
A tremendous force of water is clearing the table into the
trash can which the rain-suited grounds kid is holding at
it's end.
We dolly further left to see EDDIE in full army fatigues with
safety goggles on and wearing the biggest super-soaker water
gun in the history of man.
The table is quickly cleared, and at the same time washed.
EDDIE holds up the business end of the Super-Soaker gun and
blows imaginary smoke from it's barrel, like an old Western
gunfighter.
The JUDGES take notes.
63 EXT. LATER THAT DAY - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL 63
The three different teams are gathered in groups waiting for
the next challenge. One of each team is in full sweats,
color coordinated by team.
ALEX is the one in the sweats for concessions. Slowly the
sweats people walk into the pool about waist deep and lay
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down.
The grounds kid is the littlest guy of all.
A JUDGE blows a whistle and four members of each team run
into the water and drag their now soaked sweat suited
teammate out of the water. They lie them down on a clear
area and begin CPR.
The guards have a nifty little plastic device that lets them
blow air into the mouth of their victim, and they roll him
quickly on his side to clear water and back to begin CPR.
They are fast and efficient, and clearly expertly trained.
We move left to see the grounds kids, knowledgeable but
inexperienced. One girl is using her hands to provide a
seals over the mouth of her "victim" and another is clumsily
pumping his chest while the others try to keep a count while
reading some kind of instruction card..
We move again to see the concessions kids, who are in
trouble. ALEX is lying there dying, and they are arguing
about who has to breathe into his mouth. They form a circle
over him, pointing and arguing.
Finally they all just walk off and ALEX is still lying on the
ground, eyes rolled back and twitching convulsively in a
hilarious death scene.
The JUDGES take their notes.
64 EXT LATER THAT DAY - IN FRONT OF THE CANNING COMPANY 64
Once again three teams representing the three competing
factions. Large stainless steel pots are bubbling on three
propane cooking stands in front of the concession.
The teams each have three members in cooking aprons, again,
color coded. One from each team is stirring the team's chili
while the others watch the JUDGES anxiously.
Lines are forming in front of each pot, with people in line
each carrying a paper chili bowl, but holding back, deferring
to the JUDGES. The JUDGES are each carrying three styro cups
in which to receive the chili.
They each get a portion from the guard team and take a sip.
They smile politely to the cooks, but turn around and spit
the chili back into the cup as delicately as possible, almost
as if throwing up. A concessions kid is there with a tray of
waters, which they quickly take advantage of.
They move on to the grounds team. They get their portions
and taste the chili and nod, not bad.
They take another sip of water to clear their palate and move
on to the concessions team. The portions are proudly
scooped.
They take a taste, smile and take some more. They huddle for
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a moment and then place a blue ribbon on the concessions pot.
The lines quickly rearrange and merge themselves so that
everyone is in line for the concessions pot.
65 EXT LATER THAT DAY - SURF'S UP WAVE POOL EAST SIDE 65
An obstacle course has been set up, and the event provides a
background to the dialogue that follows. AOKEE has some
papers, and is talking to ALEX and ROBBIE.
AOKEE
(looking through the papers)
This isn't good.
(looking at ALEX and ROBBIE)
It's the same as every year. Pretty much
a dead heat going into the surf
championship tomorrow morning.
ALEX
I can't believe those guys screwed up the
CPR.
ROBBIE
Hard to blame them. No one told them
they had to put their mouth on yours
until the last minute. Yuck.
ALEX
Bunch of babies.
AOKEE
(to ROBBIE)
It's going to be up to you. We slip a
little. You have to make up. That
trophy need a new home.
They look over at the obstacle course where a tiny grounds
kid is jumping up and down and raising his arms ROCKY-style.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
You need to make up. You ready? Tomorrow
morning last event. You our last hope.
ROBBIE just looks at both of them nods and sighs heavily as
the other grounds kids surround our winner in the background.
AOKEE and ALEX walk off. Suddenly TIFFANY appears.
TIFFANY
Hi Robbie.
ROBBIE
(shy but still very much
smitten)
Oh. Hey.
TIFFANY
How's your team doing?
ROBBIE
Uh. OK, I guess. Kind of a tie.
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TIFFANY
Well, I think you're going to take care
of that tomorrow morning. In fact, I've
planned a little celebration in advance.
We're going to this incredible party up
in the foothills at some friends of mine.
ROBBIE
(intrigued)
Party, huh? That sounds like fun. I
have to work until nine tonight.
TIFFANY
That's perfect. I'll come back here and
pick you up.
She starts to walk off.
TIFFANY (CONT'D)
Oh, and Robbie...call your mom and tell
her you're spending the night at Alex's
or something. It's going to be a very
special night.
ROBBIE
(hypnotised)
K...
She walks away. ROBBIE stands there a moment before waking
up and leaving also.
66 INT. EVENING - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 66
It is dark. We see ALEX and AOKEE cleaning up from the day's
food service. ALEX Is wiping down the smoothie area, AOKEE
is sweeping on the other side of the counter.
ALEX
(voice somewhat hushed)
I'm telling you we need to talk him.
Something's going on.
AOKEE
(shaking his head no)
Robbie know the right thing to do. He's
a good boy.
ALEX
So how about this? He tells me I've got
to cover for him if his mother calls. He
told her he's spending the night at my
house.
AOKEE
He say that?
ALEX
Yes. Tiffany's got something up her
sleeve and Robbie's too messed up to
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notice.
AOKEE
(reflective)
Spending the night at your house. This
very bad. Very bad.
AOKEE (CONT'D)
He should be done with the dishes by now.
Tell him we want to talk.
ALEX disappears back into the kitchen. AOKEE goes to an
empty table under the one light on in the dining area and
sits down.
ALEX comes back and ROBBIE follows.
ROBBIE
Hey. I'm done with the pots and pans.
It's almost nine. Can I take off now?
AOKEE
Robbie, please, sit.
ROBBIE sits down. So does ALEX. Robbie looks at both and
gets suspicious.
ROBBIE
Everything OK?
AOKEE
That's what we gonna ask you. What you
plan tonight?
ROBBIE
Well, Tiffany invited me to a little
party up in the mountains.
AOKEE
Robbie, you athlete. Big day tomorrow.
You need sleep, not party.
ROBBIE
It's no big deal. I'll be fine.
AOKEE
Is big deal. Robbie. You good boy,
smart, everybody like you, but....
ROBBIE
But...
AOKEE
Face it. Only one reason Tiffany
interested in you. She want to make you
so tired and so crazy you lose tomorrow.
ROBBIE
(disbelief)
Aw, come on...
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ALEX
Robbie. She's still going out with
Cowboy. I saw them together at the
movies two nights ago.
ROBBIE
Maybe she's just letting him down easy.
ALEX
Robbie...things...things are not always
what they seem to be.
ROBBIE
Like what?
AOKEE
In this case, she acts like she likes you
when really she wants Cowboy to win.
ROBBIE
Naw. You guys are nuts. She's not like
that.
ALEX
She is like that.
ROBBIE
Look, I know what to believe and what not
to. I'm not that easily fooled.
ALEX
Aokee?
AOKEE
(shaking his head)
Go ahead. Tell him. I trust him.
ALEX
OK. Take Aokee for instance. Gentle,
genial Hawaiian guy, right?
ROBBIE
Sure. He's great. I love working here.
Aokee, you've been real good to me...
ALEX
Then let me introduce you properly.
Robbie Zirpollo, meet Manuel Ramirez.
AOKEE'S head is down in his hands. Robbie looks stunned.
ALEX (CONT'D)
Manuel's family snuck across the border
ten years ago through Juarez, Mexico.
AOKEE
(accent gone)
My father refused to work for a drug lord
who ran our town. They tried to kill
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him. We barely got out with our lives.
ROBBIE
Aokee?
AOKEE
(accent now Mexican)
A name I picked up reading an obituary in
the paper. I sent away to Hawaii and got
his birth records and social security
number. This way, I never have to worry
about immigration. I spent weeks
watching tapes of Hawaii Five-O just to
get the accent right. "Book 'em Danno".
Huh. What's that all about?
ROBBIE
(to Alex)
And you knew?
ALEX nods yes.
AOKEE
I burnt my hand on the grill one day and
started swearing in Spanish...
ALEX
(interrupting)
And I said, boy, you speak Spanish like a
native....uh oh. It's been our little
secret. Now it's your secret, too.
ROBBIE
(looking at his watch)
I need to think about all this.
ALEX
(nodding)
You do.
AOKEE
Sleep tonight. Sleep well.
ROBBIE
(gets up, dazed)
Right. Goodnight.
ROBBIE leaves. ALEX and AOKEE just sit, looking at each
other.
67 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - THUNDER BAY 67
Hundreds of people are gathering on bleachers to watch the
surfing competition.
A large highway construction type signboard has been erected
and says "Grounds 93", "Concessions 93" and "Lifeguards
94".
It is almost a festival atmosphere. The JUDGES are standing
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in a group, conferring, near a table that has the controls
for the sign. The sign can be viewed easily from the
bleachers.
WE look over to the front of AOKEE's and see AOKEE and ALEX
standing outside the restaurant.
68 EXT. EARLY MORNING. - MOMENTS LATER - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK 68
SHACK
AOKEE
(to Alex)
Have you seen him?
ALEX
Not yet.
They are looking to the north towards the crowd, but ROBBIE
appears behind them.
ROBBIE
(looking in the same direction)
What you lookin' at?
AOKEE
We looking for you. How you sleep?
ROBBIE
I slept fine.
(pause as AOKEE and ALEX wait)
I decided I'm not my father. I don't run
out on the people I care about just
because some blond shakes her ta-ta's at
me.
AOKEE
(relieved)
We go then.
ROBBIE picks up his board, and they begin walking toward the
bleachers. ALEX stops and turns suddenly.
ALEX
She shook her ta-tas? No one said
anything about shaking ta-tas.
(reflectively)
This puts a whole new light on things!
He is in ROBBIE's way. ROBBIE pushes him with his board.
ROBBIE
Get going!
69 EXT. EARLY MORNING - THUNDER BAY 69
ROBBIE, COWBOY and MELINDA from grounds, who we met earlier
and was conned into the contest because she said she surfed
once on vacation, are all standing in front of the JUDGES.
One JUDGE explains the rules.
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HEAD JUDGE
(looking down at clipboard)
Alright, here's the deal. You get three
tries; three heats. We judge each run
and only your high score counts. If you
fall you get no score for the run. Your
score will be added to the total for your
team, and the winner gets the Surfer King
Trophy. Any questions?
They all shake their head no.
HEAD JUDGE (CONT'D)
Then let's begin. Grounds is up first.
MELINDA grabs her board and begins paddling out. The wave
comes and it's all she can do to stay on her board. She
struggles and falls at the end. She will clearly not be a
factor. The big screen shows a 0 in a column after the
grounds score.
We look back to the bleachers to polite applause, but the
COLONEL and the grounds kids are clearly disappointed.
COWBOY is out there now, the wave comes and he catches it
easily. He rides the wave gracefully and well, and kicks out
at the end. The big screen shows an 8 in the lifeguard row.
The lifeguards and RICHARD are cheering now.
ROBBIE is next. He catches the wave and rides it more
aggressively than COWBOY, but nearly falls at the end of his
run. The big screen shows an 8. The concessions kids and
AOKEE are very enthusiastic. They can see they have a chance
with ROBBIE. PIPEMAN is watching from a far corner.
MELINDA begins her second run. She is a little more
confident this time, but still seems barely able to stand and
ride the wave. More polite applause, and the big screen
shows a 5.
COWBOY catches his wave, and tries to imitate ROBBIE'S more
aggressive style, but falls midway through the run. We hear
a large gasp from the crowd as this happens.
The crowd applauds politely, and the guards are supportive
but disappointed. We see the JUDGES confer and the big screen
shows a 0.
ROBBIE gets his wave, and surfs it aggressively again, this
time not nearly falling at all. The JUDGES nod approvingly
and confer. The big screen shows a 9. The crowd goes wild,
especially the concessions kids.
Melinda begins her final run. She does better than the past
two, but not significantly. The JUDGES confer and the screen
shows a 5. The ground kids are very disappointed, they know
they are out of it now. THE COLONEL shakes MELINDA'S hand
and thanks her for her efforts.
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COWBOY gets his wave, and has clearly decided to go back to
his original style; he rides the wave gracefully, but takes
no chances.
He kicks out at the end with a wave and a smile. The guards
applaud, hoping to make it seem better than it was, and the
JUDGES confer and the screen shows an 8.
ROBBIE snags his wave and rides it aggressively again, but
loses his balance momentarily. It costs him; the JUDGES
confer and the screen shows a 7.
The concessions kids applaud, and the point totals show
"Grounds 98", "Concessions 102" and "Lifeguards 102".
EVERYONE is confused, there has never been a tie before. THE
JUDGES Are flipping through papers, and BIG MIKE steps up to
the microphone.
BIG MIKE
(clearing his throat,
flustered)
It looks like we have a tie. This has
never happened before, but I seem to
remember we provided for this possibility
in the rules. Hopefully our judges can
help us figure out what to do!
The HEAD JUDGE is reading to the other JUDGES out loud, slaps
his hand on one of the papers and comes up to the mike.
HEAD JUDGE
Reading from the rules, "...in the event
of a tie at the end of three heats in the
surf competition, the teams who are tied
will participate in a sudden-death surf
off. Additional heats will be run until
a winner can be declared."
(looking up at the crowd)
The "Sudden Death" heat will begin in
five minutes.
Everybody cheers...they're going to see some more great
surfing.
The JUDGES signal COWBOY and ROBBIE to come over. The head
JUDGE takes a quarter out of his pocket and points to COWBOY
to call it. It lands and the JUDGE looks at it. HE points
to ROBBIE.
HEAD JUDGE (CONT'D)
You want to go first or second?
ROBBIE
Second.
HEAD JUDGE
Be ready in five minutes.
70 EXT -MOMENTS LATER - AOKEE'S SURF & SNACK SHACK 70
Page 75 of 81
ROBBIE, ALEX, AOKEE and PIPEMAN have gathered in front of
AOKEE's to strategize.
AOKEE
So what you do? Wait for him to go crazy
and fall?
ROBBIE
Don't want to win with him falling.
PIPEMAN
You could always go out and do your very
best, take a lot of chances and maybe win
this thing on merit.
ALEX
(dismissive)
Don't be silly. That only works in the
movies.
ROBBIE
(shakes his head)
Actually, that's exactly what I'm
thinking. It's the reason we're in a
tie. I've been too conservative. I've
got to do everything I can, or just
forget about it. It's all or nothing.
(pause)
We gotta pull the fin.
AOKEE
Pull da fin?
PIPEMAN
You think you can hold it?
ROBBIE
(explaining)
One time, these tourists from Japan on
the beach at La Jolla offered me a
hundred bucks to do a full spin at the
top of the wave, and then slide down and
cut back and do a full back flip. I
pulled it off. A friend of mine had a
tricks board with just a single fin and
foot pockets.
PIPEMAN
We gotta pull the fin. What do we do
about the foot pockets?
ROBBIE
You got duct tape?
PIPEMAN reaches into his tool belt and pulls out a roll.
PIPEMAN
What kind of plumber would I be if I
didn't have duct tape? Water World
Page 76 of 81
Platinum! Where do you want them?
They place the board on a table. ROBBIE pulls off two small
pieces of tape and places them on the board.
ROBBIE
Here and here.
PIPEMAN gets his screw gun out of his tool belt and begins
removing the two outer fins of the board. He then begins
looping duct tap around the board to create two foot pockets.
This provides a background to the dialog below.
AOKEE
So, help me understand. What you do now?
ROBBIE
Pipeman is taking the extra fins off my
board. I only need one to make a deep
cut back. He is also putting some
pockets to slip my feet into so when I
flip upside down, I don't lose the board.
ALEX
Flip upside down?
ROBBIE
A back flip. You guys see it on
snowboarders here all the time, I'm sure.
ALEX
Oh yeah, I'm sure I did that last winter.
But not on purpose! Dude. You're either
gonna win this thing or you're gonna die.
AOKEE
(quickly, eagerly)
It would be better if you won.
ROBBIE
Yeah, well, a tie is like kissing your
sister.
ALEX
(mock anger)
You stay away from my sister.
We hear an air horn blast. They are ready to start.
PIPEMAN
Ready!
ROBBIE
(to PIPEMAN)
I'll need the biggest wave you can give
me...
PIPEMAN
(imitating Mr. Scott on Star
Page 77 of 81
Trek)
I'll give 'er all she's got, Cap'n!
He hands Robbie the board. ALEX heads back to the bleachers
area, PIPEMAN goes to the pumphouse in back of Thunder Bay.
AOKEE hangs back with ROBBIE and speaks to him alone.
AOKEE
(dropping his Hawaiian accent)
Robbie. When you do this, do this mostly
for Robbie Zirpollo. But do it just a
little bit for Manny Ramirez, eh?
AOKEE smiles and pats him on the back. Robbie nods. They
head for the bay.
71 EXT. MORNING - MOMENTS LATER - THUNDER BAY 71
COWBOY is in the water paddling out to get his wave. It
comes and he has apparently decided to stay with what has
gotten him this far; a conservative style that keeps him
looking good without falling. His ride is similar to the
last one, but even more graceful and lyrical and he gets a 9.
ALEX
(to ROBBIE)
Looks like he's waiting for you to make a
mistake. You sure you know what you're
doing?
ROBBIE
I'm just making this up as I go along.
ALEX
Works for me! Go get 'em.
ROBBIE appears on the seawall holding his board and looking
out first at the bay, then at the crowd. His mom, CONNIE
waves, and he smiles weakly.
HE sees KATIE and she looks hopeful. She hasn't given up on
him completely. He smiles at her and gets into the water.
He begins paddling. It seems to take forever for him to get
out to the spot where he catches the wave, but he finally
arrives.
He sits there for a moment, collecting himself, then raises
his hand to signal he is ready.
The CONCESSIONS KIDS have started to chant, ROBBIE! ROBBIE!
The guards are anxious, but even they can't help moving to
the cadence of the chant.
The wave comes and he catches it quickly, and slips his feet
into the duct tape pockets. He misses one pocket at first,
then gets it in.
He rides it carefully and at the right moment slides up to
Page 78 of 81
the top and executes a full 360 degree turn out of the water.
On landing back on the downside of the wave, he slides down
it quickly, and then turns around with a deep cut and heads
straight into the wave. At the top he bounces and does a
complete back flip in slow motion.
We see the crowd also in slow motion. AOKEE Is covering his
eyes, he can't watch. ALEX's face is contorted with
disbelief. Various faces in the crowd are in open-mouthed
disbelief. THE JUDGES are staring intently, focussed so as
not to miss anything.
ROBBIE lands the flip, and rides the rest of the wave. He
waves to the crowd, and kicks off, exhausted.
The place goes nuts. No one here has ever seen anything like
this before. AOKEE and ALEX run into the water and help him
out. People are still cheering.
COWBOY knows he's in trouble.
THE JUDGES confer only momentarily and the score 10 appears,
and the word concessions starts flashing along with the word
winner. COWBOY nods in agreement.
TIFFANY says something to him, and he appears angry. We can
only hear part of his response, something like:
COWBOY
(disbelief)
You did WHAT?
AOKEE and ALEX lead him up to the grandstand. COWBOY also
makes his way up there, and we see him talking to BIG MIKE.
BIG MIKE nods in agreement and COWBOY goes to the mike as the
crowd settles down.
COWBOY (CONT'D)
As last year's Surfer King, it's my
privilege to present this year's trophy
to the most amazing surfer on the water
today. Robbie! Congratulations.
COWBOY shakes ROBBIE's hand, and ROBBIE speaks at the mike.
ROBBIE
(holding trophy)
I just want to thank Aokee, Alex and
Katie for all their support.
We see KATIE clapping, crying. AOKEE and ALEX are clapping
and smiling.
ROBBIE (CONT'D)
And I have just one thing to say to
everyone in concessions. WE DID IT!
ROBBIE holds the trophy high as everyone cheers.
Page 79 of 81
FADE TO BLACK.
72 EXT. EARLY EVENING SURFS WAVE POOL 72
Grounds kids are stacking chairs in preparation for final
closing. Tarps are being thrown over everything and tied
down.
Awnings are being taken down. Chairs and tables are being
moved.
We see JAFFA packing up his CD's into that cardboard box. HE
also snaps the winter covers for the sound equipment into
place.
73 EXT. MOMENTS LATER - EVENING TIME OUT SHACK 73
A banner hangs over the time shack, "Thanks for another great
year". ALEX, ROBBIE, KATIE and AMY are clocking out for the
final time this summer.
They all stop and look around one final time. Suddenly
TIFFANY drives up in her convertible.
TIFFANY
Another summer gone. How about it
Robbie? You gonna guard next year? They
could use your help.
They all walk closer to her car.
ROBBIE
I don't know...we have a pretty good time
at AOKEE's.
TIFFANY
You know, that's what I hear. Maybe I
should work there next summer.
ALEX, ROBBIE, KATIE and AMY all say these lines pretty much
at the same time.
ROBBIE
You wouldn't like it...
ALEX
That's a bad idea...
KATIE
And you're such a good guard...
AMY
You'd be miserable...
TIFFANY
Maybe you're right. See you around...
EDDIE appears out of the time shack wearing his tuxedo t
shirt.
Page 80 of 81
EDDIE
(almost singing)
Tiffany!
He walks up to her driver's side.
TIFFANY
(feeling charitable, warmly)
Hello, Eddie.
EDDIE shows there is nothing in his hands, then reaches into
the car and from behind TIFFANY's ear pulls a plastic Easter
Egg out. He hands it to her, and she opens it. A beautiful
butterfly flies out and away. She is momentarily entranced.
TIFFANY (CONT'D)
You know, that's one of the most
beautiful things I've ever seen.
(pause, thinking, what the
heck)
Hop in Eddie, let me give you a ride
home.
EDDIE waves his hand for HER to scoot over so he can drive.
She is surprised, but does, almost reflexively. He gets in
and he looks at ALEX, ROBBIE, KATIE and AMY grinning broadly
as he pulls away.
ALEX, ROBBIE, KATIE and AMY just watch in stunned silence as
EDDIE and TIFFANY drive off.
ALEX
(collecting himself)
Well. Just another summer at Water
World.
The group begins walking toward the exit gate, as we go wide
and helicopter upward. They get smaller and smaller in the
shot as we hear the conversation continue.
ROBBIE
You know Katie, I really am sorry I was
such a jerk this summer.
KATIE
We'll be going to the same high school.
You'll have plenty of chances to make it
up to me. Let's see, there's Homecoming,
the Christmas Dance, Valentines Day...and
of course, the prom...
ROBBIE
Alex?
ALEX
Yeah?
ROBBIE
I'm gonna need to borrow twenty bucks.
Page 81 of 81
ALEX
Yep.
We helicopter up for a final shot over the whole park.
THE END
| Surfer King, The
Writers : Bernard Murray Jr
Genres : Comedy
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