THE MAID
Written by
Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer,
David Mandel, Kit Boss & Peter Mehlman
INT. MONK'S RESTAURANT - DAY
George and Jerry sit at their usual booth.
JERRY
Cup of tea with lemon.
GEORGE
What happened to your voice?
JERRY
I was screamin' at hecklers all night.
The last time I open for a rodeo.
GEORGE
Well, Jerry, I been thinkin'. I've gotten
as far as I can go with George Costanza.
JERRY
Is this the suicide talk or the nickname
talk?
GEORGE
The nickname. George. What is that?
It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip.
I need a nickname that makes people
light up.
JERRY
You mean like...Liza!
GEORGE
But I was thinking...T-bone.
JERRY
But there's no "t" in your name. What
about G-bone?
GEORGE
There's no G-bone.
JERRY
There's a g-spot.
GEORGE
That's a myth.
George takes a bite of his sandwich and gets a piece stuck to
his chin.
JERRY
T-bone, the ladies are gonna love ya.
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
ELAINE
Why did they hire you for a rodeo?
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jerry and Elaine are sitting on the sofa chewing gum.
JERRY
They heard I opened for Kenny Rogers
once.
ELAINE
Didn't he throw you off a bus in the
middle of Alabama or--
JERRY
Oh, I had that comin' to me.
ELAINE
You know, Kenny Rogers has a-
Jerry's maid exits from his bedroom and walks over to the kitchen.
ELAINE
Why did you get a maid?
JERRY
You don't have to whisper. She knows
she's a maid.
ELAINE
Where did you get her?
JERRY
I hired her from a service!
MAID
All done.
JERRY
Thank you. Nice job.
MAID
Is this mine?
JERRY
Yeah.
The maid leaves Jerry's apartment. Elaine smiles at Jerry.
JERRY
What?
ELAINE
Come on, Jerry. You didn't notice?
JERRY
Notice what? She's not really even a
maid.
ELAINE
Oh.
JERRY
She wants to be an actress...or a, uh,
model...or a dancer...or a...news woman.
ELAINE
Uh-huh. News woman. Yeah.
Kramer enters.
KRAMER
Hey. Well, bad news, boys. My life is
over. My girlfriend's movin' away.
JERRY
You have a girlfriend?
Jerry stands up; Kramer opens the fridge.
KRAMER
Jerry, where have you been?
JERRY
At a rodeo. Where's she moving?
KRAMER
Downtown.
ELAINE
Downtown New York?
KRAMER
Yeah. I don't know if I can handle one
of these long-distance relationships.
JERRY
It's like 10 minutes by subway.
KRAMER
I don't know.
Kramer opens a bottled carbonated drink which overflows and spills
onto the floor.
KRAMER
Oh! Jeez! Well, you've got a maid. It's
a whole different world downtown-- different
Gap, different Tower Records, and she's
a 646.
ELAINE
What? What is that?
JERRY
That's the new area code. They've run
out of 242s, so all the new numbers
are 646.
ELAINE
I was a 718 when I first moved here.
I cried every night.
KRAMER
Listen. Heads up, Elaine. I'm gonna
have to stop by later and pick up a
fax.
ELAINE
At work?
KRAMER
No. At your apartment.
ELAINE
I don't have a fax machine.
JERRY
Here we go.
KRAMER
Well, now what are we gonna do? (to
Jerry) See? This is why you should get
a fax and a Xerox.
JERRY
And a dead bolt.
KRAMER (to Elaine) Are ya sure you don't have one? Because there's
a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen.
ELAINE
Then maybe you have a fax machine.
KRAMER
You just blew my mind.
EXT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - DAY - ESTABLISHING
KRUGER
Let's order lunch.
INT. MEETING ROOM - DAY
Everyone is gathered around a large conference table.
KRUGER
Mary, I will have a chef's salad.
MALE WORKER
Turkey sandwich.
GEORGE
T-bone steak.
KRUGER
For lunch?
GEORGE
Well, I am just a T-bone kinda guy.
Love that T-bone. In fact, you might
as well call me--
WATKINS
That sounds good. I'll have one, too.
KRUGER
Watkins, you're havin' a T-bone?
WATKINS
I love 'em.
KRUGER
Well, then we should call you T-bone.
GEORGE
Uh, no. No, we shouldn't.
KRUGER
T-bone!
ALL
T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone!
T-bone! T-bone! T-bone!
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY
The phone rings. Elaine enters her apartment carrying bags of
groceries. She drops the bags and picks up the phone.
ELAINE
Hello?
A fax squeal.
ELAINE
What?
She checks her answering machine.
MACHINE
You have 57 messages. Message one...
Fax squeal. She skips to the next message.
MACHINE
Message two...
Fax squeal. She skips to the next message.
MACHINE
Message three...
GEORGE
Hey, it's George. Listen, I-
She skips to the next message.
MACHINE
Message four...
Fax squeal.
ELAINE Kramer!
The phone rings. Elaine hesitates and lets it ring. She finally
caves and picks it up.
EALINE
Hello?
Another fax squeal.
ELAINE
Aah!
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLSIHING
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
JERRY
Well Cindy, the place looks great.
She grabs her money off the counter.
CINDY
Thanks Jerry, gotta run.
JERRY
Ok, I'll see ya.
As Cindy leaves, Jerry gives her a big kiss. Elaine shows up
and watches, amused.
CINDY
Hi, Elaine.
Jerry groans as Elaine enters and Cindy exits.
ELAINE
All right! You're foolin' around with
your maid. That is a wise decision.
JERRY
Elaine, do you think I would go willy-nilly
into a situation so obviously fraught
with potential complications?
ELAINE
You are paying a woman to come to your
house and sleep with you.
JERRY
No. I pay her to clean. The rest is--
ELAINE
What? A health plan?
JERRY
I was going to say, "Being a good host."
ELAINE
Oh-ho-ho. Oh.
JERRY
But the point is we have our personal
relationship, and we have our work relationship.
They're separate and, I think, some
what sophisticated.
ELAINE
So you consider this a relationship?
JERRY
Yes, I do.
ELAINE
Oh. Have you been out?
JERRY
Yes, we have.
ELAINE
Where did you go?
JERRY
The store.
ELAINE
Mm! To get what?
JERRY
Stuff.
ELAINE
Cleaning supplies?
JERRY
And gum.
ELAINE
Oh. Well, there's nothin' more sophisticated
than diddlin' the maid and then chewin'
some gum.
JERRY
She's not a maid. She might be a news
woman!
Kramer enters.
KRAMER
Hey. Well, I just saw Madeline off.
Yeah. She's in a cab and--nguh nguh
nguh--on her way. I miss her already.
Kramer sits down on the couch.
ELAINE
Hey, Kramer, what was it you were having
faxed to my house every 30 seconds?
KRAMER
Well, I signed up for a food delivery
service, Now We're Cookin'. That's a
play on words. You know, they're faxing
me the menus from some restaurants.
ELAINE
Which ones?
KRAMER
Well, all of them. It's the deluxe package.
ELAINE
So this is never gonna stop?
KRAMER
Well, it better not. Paid for the whole
year. So, should I pick those up later?
ELAINE
You can pick 'em up right now.
Elaine imitates the fax squeal right into Kramer's ear.
KRAMER
Ah!
EXT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY
She fondles a candle stick as a phone man fixes her phone.
ELAINE
I wonder if anyone knows he's here.
If he just disappeared...would anybody
notice?
PHONE MAN
All right, miss Benes, all finished.
Here's your new number.
ELAINE
Ahem. 646? What is this?
PHONE MAN
That's your new area code.
ELAINE
I thought 646 was just for new numbers.
PHONE MAN
This is a new number.
ELAINE
No, no, no, no. It's not a new number.
It's--it's--it's just a changed number.
See? It's not different. It's the same,
just...changed.
PHONE MAN
Look, I work for the phone company.
I've had a lot of experience with semantics,
so don't try to lure me into some maze
of circular logic.
ELAINE
You know, I could've killed you, and
no one would've known.
PHONE MAN
I could've killed you, and no one would've
known.
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING
JERRY
Kramer, you're still on the phone?
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Kramer is sitting on the couch with a blanket. He's on the phone.
KRAMER
Madeline and I are watching Quincy together.
Jerry, you know this comes on at the
same time here as it does there?
JERRY
Really? It's Tuesday here. What day
is it there?
KRAMER
Jerry's teasing. Uh-oh! Commercial.
Oh, you going to the bathroom? Yeah.
I'll go, too.
Kramer gets up and Jerry grabs the phone from him.
JERRY
Madeline stays here.
George enters.
JERRY
Hey, T-bone!
GEORGE
No. No T-bone.
JERRY
No T-bone?
KRAMER
Hey, is that T-bone?!
JERRY
No! There's no T-bone!
KRAMER
Well, why no T-bone?!
JERRY
Why no T-bone?
GEORGE
'Cause Neil Watkins from accounting
is T-bone!
Kramer returns from the bathroom and picks up the phone.
KRAMER
Oh, yeah I'm back. Hey, you wanna play
cards over the phone?
Kramer opens the door.
KRAMER
Oh, hey, uh, listen, Jerry, uh, laundry's
pilin' up there. You might want to tell
your girlfriend. Mmm. Yeah.
Kramer leaves.
GEORGE
Your girlfriend is doin' your laundry?
KRAMER
He's sleeping with his maid!
GEORGE
You're sleepin' with the maid?
JERRY
Yes.
GEORGE
I've done that. Did you ever eat an
ostrich burger?
JERRY
No.
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY
Elaine and a man are talking.
MAN
You're probably one of those women who
doesn't like to give out her number.
ELAINE
No, I'm not. Here you go.
MAN
646?
ELAINE
It's a new area code.
MAN
What area? New Jersey?
ELAINE
No, no. It's right here in the city.
It's the same as 212. They just multiplied
it by 3, and then they added one to
the middle number. It's the same.
MAN
Do I have to dial a one first?
Elaine nods and the man crumples up her number.
MAN
I'm really kinda seein' somebody.
ELAINE
Yeah? Well, so am I!
EXT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - DAY - ESTABLISHING
GEORGE
Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a second
there, Watkins?
INT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
George and Watkins stand just outside the conference room talking.
WATKINS
It's T-bone.
GEORGE
The thing is...I'm supposed to be T-bone.
WATKINS
Heh heh. You're not a T-bone. You're
a perfect George.
GEORGE
What? Now, you listen to me!
Kruger and a few other people watch George through the window
of the conference room door.
KRUGER
Hey, look at George. He's givin' it
to T-bone. He's jumpin' up and down
like some kind of monkey. Hey, what
was the name of that monkey that could
read sign language?
WATKINS
All right, you can have T-bone. Stop
crying.
GEORGE
I'm not crying. And I shouldn't have
said that about your wife. Please accept
my apologies.
Watkins and George enter the conference room.
GEORGE
Ok, everybody, uh...I have an announcement
to make. From now on, I will be known
as-
KRUGER
Koko the monkey.
GEORGE
What?
ALL
Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko!
Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko!
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Elaine walks down the hallway. Two people exit an apartment.
MAN
Thank you both for being here.
EALINE
Um, excuse me. I live in the building.
Did something happen to Mrs. Krantz?
MAN
She passed.
ELAINE
Oh, I'm so sorry.
MAN
Thank you.
ELAINE
A quick question-- did she by any chance
have a 212 phone number?
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
CINDY
I can't find my earring. Oh, here it
is.
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Cindy walks into Jerry's bedroom. Kramer enters.
KRAMER
Hey, listen, can I borrow your suitcases?
JERRY
Yeah. It's in your closet.
KRAMER
No, no, no. I looked.
JERRY
They're behind my skis and my tennis
racket.
KRAMER
Thanks, buddy.
JERRY
Where you goin'?
KRAMER
Huh? Well, I'm gettin' out of town.
I'm gonna visit Madeline for the weekend.
You know, this place is lookin' kinda
messy. What happened to Cindy?
JERRY
Well, she's here. She just didn't get
around to it.
KRAMER
Oh.
Cindy comes from Jerry's bedroom.
CINDY
Hi, Kramer.
She picks up her money from the counter.
CINDY
Thanks, Jerry. Bye.
She leaves.
KRAMER
Well, what's the matter?
JERRY
What did I just pay for?
KRAMER
Uh-oh. You're a john.
EXT. MONK'S RESTAURANT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
JERRY
Koko?
INT. MONK'S RESTAURANT - DAY
George and Jerry are sitting at the counter.
GEORGE
Koko.
JERRY
Well, it's probably the most intelligent
ape there is.
GEORGE
Yeah. So, how's Cindy the maid?
JERRY
Well, everything's goin' great except,
basically, I'm payin' for sex.
GEORGE
Tell me about it. I went out with this
girl last week. First I had to pay for
dinner, then--
JERRY
No, George. She's coming over and not
cleaning. It's like I'm seein' a prostitute.
GEORGE
How much you pay this maid?
JERRY
40.
GEORGE
40? I'm payin' 60 to my maid. She doesn't
do laundry and I'm gettin' nothin'.
All right. Once she pinched my ass,
but I don't know what that was.
JERRY
I don't know what this is.
Kramer enters and sits at the counter so George is between him
and Jerry.
KRAMER
Hey, hey, hey. Look at that.
Kramer shows of his I Love New York shirt.
JERRY
Ooh.
KRAMER
Jerry, you wouldn't believe what it's
like down there. Taxicab drivers are
insane. You know, everybody is in a
hurry.
GEORGE
I can't eat with you leanin' over like
this. Just look straight forward.
KRAMER
Well, now I can't see Jerry.
JERRY
I look about the same.
GEORGE
What?
JERRY
I was talking to him.
KRAMER
What?
JERRY
Never mind.
KRAMER
Come on. What'd he say?
GEORGE
Never mind.
KRAMER
Jerry, come on. What'd you say?
Kramer and Jerry try to talk to each other by leaning back and
forth, but keep missing each other. Jerry leans forward to look
at Kramer, but Kramer leans back. Kramer leans forward, Jerry
leans back.
JERRY
What?
KRAMER
Come on. Where'd you go?
JERRY
Go back.
KRAMER
Eh! Come on. What did you say?
JERRY
I said, never mind.
KRAMER
Yeah. I know that. Uh, uh.
JERRY
I hate the counter.
Elaine enters and sits at the counter next to Jerry.
ELAINE
Hey.
JERRY
Hey.
ELAINE
I hate the counter.
KRAMER
Who's that?
ELAINE
Well, I got a 212 number from this little
old lady in my building-- Mrs. Krantz.
JERRY
Oh, she didn't mind?
ELAINE
No. She died.
JERRY
Hey, that's great.
GEORGE
What happened to Mrs. Krantz?
JERRY
Elaine got a new number because she
died.
KRAMER
Newman died?
ELAINE
What did he say?
JERRY
Some new kind of pie.
GEORGE
I'll try a piece.
KRAMER
All right, who's down there?
JERRY
Hey, there's a booth.
They all get up to move.
KRAMER
Hey, Elaine.
ELAINE
Oh, hi.
KRAMER
Did you hear about Newman?
ELAINE
What?
Kramer whimpers.
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jerry is cleaning his kitchen and Cindy is reclined on the sofa.
George enters.
GEORGE
Hey.
JERRY
So how's it goin' at work? They get
tired of it?
GEORGE
Oh, yeah.
He unfurls a jersey that reads, "Koko 00."
JERRY
Double zero?
GEORGE
It's "ooh" As in "ooh ooh ah ah."
CINDY
Your nickname's Koko? One of the girls
down at the maid service is named Coco.
GEORGE
Really? Coco?
CINDY
Yeah. Coco. That girl's all right.
Cindy gets up and goes into Jerry's bedroom.
GEORGE
You know, if I could get this Coco woman
down to Kruger, they wouldn't be able
to call me Koko anymore because Kruger
would never allow 2 Kokos.
JERRY
Sounds like he runs a real tight ship.
GEORGE
Say good-bye to Koko.
George leaves as Kramer enters.
JERRY
Good-bye, Koko.
KRAMER
Bye, Koko. Whew! Jerry, this relationship
is killing me. The distance, the longing,
the distance, the-- you know, I didn't
realize it, but I'm a needy person.
JERRY
Kramer, maybe this relationship isn't
for you.
KRAMER
Oh, yeah? So what am I supposed to do,
be more like you? All sealed up in here,
emotionally unavailable, paying scrubwomen
for sexual favors! No! Jerry, I won't
be like you! Never! I'll never be like
you!
Kramer storms out of the apartment and Cindy returns.
CINDY
What was that?
JERRY
I didn't hear anything.
CINDY
All right, I'm takin' off. Aren't you
forgetting something?
JERRY
Oh, right! Hey, it was great seeing
you again. I love your outfit.
CINDY
No. My money.
JERRY
For what?
CINDY
For my maid services. You booked me
for today.
JERRY
But you didn't really do any work.
CINDY
I made the bed.
JERRY
But you took a nap in it.
CINDY
So?
JERRY
I thought that was kind of girlfriend
bed making.
CINDY
No. That was the maid.
JERRY
Well, who took the nap?
CINDY
The girlfriend.
JERRY
$40 seems kind of steep for a nap.
CINDY
So, what are you saying? That I'm a
bad maid or some kind of a prostitute?
JERRY
Ho, ho...ho! Hold on. Let's keep this
sophisticated.
CINDY
You know, I don't think I want to be
your girlfriend or your maid.
JERRY
So is this a breakup/quitting?
CINDY
Yeah. Don't ever call me or hire me
again.
Cindy walks out of Jerry's apartment.
JERRY
Oh, yeah? Well, then, we're through!
And you're fired!
EXT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
PHONE MAN
Sign here.
ELAINE
Yes! 212.
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Elaine and the phone man.
ELAINE
Hey, what happened to the guy I had
last time?
PHONE MAN
Oh, you know, it's an odd thing. He
went out on a job and never came back.
Nobody knows what happened.
The phone man leaves and the phone rings.
ELAINE
All right! I am back in the game.
She picks up the phone.
ELAINE
Hello?
BOY
Gammy!
ELAINE
No. You got the wrong number, kid.
BOY
Gammy Krantz, it's your grandson Bobby.
Why haven't you called?
ELAINE
Oh...nuts.
BOY
Do you hate me 'cause of my lazy eye?
ELAINE
No. It's just that I've been kind of
buried over here.
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Elaine and Jerry are playing Battleship.
JERRY
So the kid doesn't know his grandmother
is dead? G-5?
ELAINE
Hit. No. I guess his parents didn't
want to tell him. B-2?
JERRY
Miss.
ELAINE
He called 6 times yesterday. What a
nightmare it must be to have a real
family.
JERRY
I wouldn't worry about it. B-6?
ELAINE
Hit. Uhh...you sank my submarine.
JERRY
Elaine...
Elaine makes an explosion sound. Jerry nods in approval. The
phone rings and Jerry answers.
INTERCUT
JERRY'S APARTMENT/PHONE BOOTH
JERRY
Hello?
COMPUTER VOICE
You have a collect call from--
KRAMER
Hey, buddy, don't say no!
JERRY
I accept.
KRAMER
I went down to Madeline's. I told her,
"You gotta move, or it's over."
JERRY
Well, what happened?
Elaine gets up and leaves.
KRAMER
I think it's over. We had a big fight,
she threw me out, I started walkin',
and now I'm lost downtown! I don't have
any money. I don't recognize anybody.
I miss home,
and I don't even know how to get there.
JERRY
What's around you?
KRAMER
I'm lookin' at Ray's Pizza. You know
where that is?
JERRY
Is it Famous Ray's?
KRAMER
No. It's Original Ray's.
JERRY
Famous Original Ray's?
KRAMER
It's just Original, Jerry!
JERRY
Well, what street are you on?
KRAMER
Hey, I'm on first and first. How can
the same street intersect with itself?
I must be at the nexus of the universe.
JERRY
Just wait there. I'll pick you up, and,
Kramer, stay alive no matter what occurs,
I will find you!
KRAMER
Aah!
Jerry leaves.
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Jerry finds a man waiting by his car.
MAN
You Steinfeld?
JERRY
Yeah.
MAN
My name is Maxwell. I'm from Maid To
Order. It's a pun. I sent one of my
girls over to your place.
JERRY
Cindy.
MAN
She says she had a little problem with
you. You didn't pay.
JERRY
You know, she didn't really do what
she was supposed to do.
MAN
Oh, yeah? She told me what you like.
You're a little sickie, aren't you?
Disinfectant on the blinds, vacuuming
the counter--
JERRY
Hey, come on. Come on. I gotta live
around here.
MAN
You know what I do to people who stiff
me on a job?
JERRY
What?
MAN
Well, it kinda depends on the situation,
but if I don't get my money from you,
I'm gonna get it from her.
JERRY
I don't want to make trouble. You want
the money? Here.
MAN
Hey! Wait, wait, wait! Whoa! Give it
to the girl. I'm an independent contractor.
Tax purposes.
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Elaine is sitting on her couch flipping through a magazine. She's
on the phone.
ELAINE
Bobby, you gotta stop calling your Gammy.
Why? Because sometimes you call very
early in the morning when Gammy has
been out late the night before and sometimes
when Gammy's not alone. Your parents
still haven't said anything to you about
your Gammy? (sighs) All right, here
we go. (coughing) Gammy doesn't feel
so good. I think
Gammy might be dying. Yep. Yep. Ok. Good-bye, Bobby. Don't call
anymore. I'm dead now. Gotta go.
Bobby dials 911.
BOBBY
9-1-1.
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Jerry is driving down the street when he sees Cindy walking on
the sidewalk.
JERRY
Nexus of the universe. Hey, Cindy. Cindy.
CINDY
What do you want?
JERRY
Here. I got your money.
CINDY
I don't want any money from you.
JERRY
Come on. Take it. It's money. Let me
give it to ya.
A police cruiser pulls up with lights on.
POLICE
Looking for a good time, sir? You wanna
step out of the car, sickie?
JERRY
Well, this is all very sophisticated.
INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Elaine is sitting on the sofa reading when there is a pounding
on the door. The door bursts open and some fire fighters run
in.
FIREMAN
All right, hang on, Gammy! You're gonna
make it!
ELAINE
Aah!
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
Kramer is waiting near a phone booth with a suitcase. A car pulls
up. It's Maxwell.
MAXWELL
Hey, you look a little lost. You from
around here?
KRAMER
Uh, no.
MAXWELL
You know where you're going?
KRAMER
Not really. My friend was supposed to
pick me up, but I don't know where he
is.
MAXWELL
Doesn't sound like much of a friend.
You got any money?
KRAMER
Uh, no.
MAXWELL
You wanna make some?
KRAMER
Ok.
MAXWELL
Do you know how to use a mop wringer?
KRAMER
Yeah, yeah.
MAXWELL
Why don't you get in the car?
Kramer hops in.
KRAMER
Hi. Ahh...these are soft seats.
The two drive off.
EXT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING
KRUGER
Hey, Koko, Who's this?
INT. MEETING ROOM - NIGHT
Everyone is gathered again around the conference table. George
is standing introducing the newest employee.
GEORGE
This is our new Vice-president of Acquisitions,
sir.
KRUGER
So you're just hiring new people now?
That's your job, to hire people?
GEORGE
Yes?
KRUGER
Ok, good enough for me, Koko.
George sits down.
KRUGER
Ahem. Now, what's your name?
COCO
My name is Coco. Coco Higgins.
GEORGE
Coco?
KRUGER
We can't have 2 Cocos. So I guess you're
back to being George.
GEORGE
Well, it was a hell of a ride.
KRUGER
All right, the Grace building. There's
a big stain on the front. How do we
get it off?
COCO
When I was a little girl in Jamaica,
my Gammy taught me to take a wet rag
and in a circ--
GEORGE
Ah, excuse me, Vice-president Coco,
no one cares about your Gammy.
COCO
What did you say about my Gammy?
GEORGE
Forget Gammy.
KRUGER
Who's Gammy?
GEORGE
There's no Gammy.
KRUGER
Maybe there should be a Gammy.
GEORGE
Oh, no.
KRUGER
George.
ALL
Gammy! Gammy! Gammy! Gammy! Gammy! Gammy!
Gammy!
GEORGE
Gammy's gettin' upset!
THE END
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