THE PUERTO RICAN DAY
Written by
Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jennifer Crittenden,
Spike Feresten, Bruce Eric Kaplan, Steve Koren,
David Mandel, Dan O'Keefe, Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin
INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY
The gang drives along in Jerry's car with the top down. Elaine
and Kramer sit in the back, George is shotgun, and Jerry behind
the wheel.
GEORGE
Man, I'm starving.
ELAINE
How can you be hungry after what you
ate at that Mets game?
GEORGE
Because ballpark food doesn't count
as real food.
JERRY
Right. It's just an activity. It's like
that paddle with the ball and the rubber
band.
KRAMER
You know, my friend Bob Saccamano made
a fortune off of those. See he came
up with the idea for the rubber band.
Before that, people would just hit the
ball, and it would fly away.
JERRY
I can't believe you all made me leave
before the end of the game.
ELAINE
Oh, come on, Jerry. It was 9 to nothing.
We were getting shellacked.
GEORGE
Those nachos are killing me.
ELAINE
I thought you were hungry.
GEORGE
It's complicated.
KRAMER
Come on, Jerry, you're going to miss
the exit.
JERRY
Keep your shirt on. I got it.
ELAINE
Watch out for that maroon Golf.
KRAMER
Oh, boy.
JERRY
Look at this guy. He's trying to box
me out.
KRAMER
I'll tell you when you can go. Wait,
wait, wait, Wait-- now, now, now. No,
no, no. Go, go! No, no. Wait-- now,
now! Now! Jerry! Go--ahh...
Jerry swerves into another lane. Lamar, the driver of the maroon
Golf honks the horn.
JERRY
Oh, calm down, maroon Golf. He thinks
I cut him off. He accelerated.
KRAMER
You want me to moon him? Ooh, let's
moon him. Roll up your window. Let's
do a pressed ham under glass.
ELAINE
Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
KRAMER
Look at this, look at this. He's giving
us the finger.
ELAINE
Oh, all right.
KRAMER
Yeah.
Elaine and Kramer get up to moon Lamar.
INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY
GEORGE
So I saw that new movie about the Hindenburg.
ELAINE
Oh, yeah. What's that called?
GEORGE
Blimp: The Hindenburg Story.
JERRY
How was it?
GEORGE
I found it morose. Why dwell on these
negative themes?
JERRY
Yeah. They should make a movie about
all the Hindenburg flights that made
it.
GEORGE
Anyway, right in the middle, the ship
blows up-- burning debris, bodies falling--
and then just as this eerie silence
settles over the airfield, I yelled
out, "That's gotta hurt!"
JERRY
Heh.
GEORGE
The place went nuts.
JERRY
Imagine the laugh you could have gotten
if you'd yelled that out at the actual
disaster.
GEORGE
Yeah.
KRAMER
Why are we slowing down?
Music plays in the background.
JERRY
What is that music?
GEORGE
What's with all these flags?
JERRY
Oh, no.
ELAINE AND JERRY
It's the Puerto Rican Day parade!
ELAINE
Ohh! Oh, the city shuts down Fifth avenue.
They never let anyone through.
We're never getting home.
Kramer stands up on the back seat.
KRAMER
All right. I'm gonna check it out. Aiee.
mucho trafico.
STOCK FOOTAGE
Puerto Rican Day parade.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Kramer runs along the sidewalk and hops into the back seat of
a black Saab.
KRAMER
Yeah...uhh...well, the streets are all
blocked. I think every Puerto Rican
in the world is out here.
There is a Puerto Rican family in the car.
PUERTO RICAN MAN
Well, it is our day.
KRAMER
Whoo. Wrong car. Sorry.
Kramer hops out.
INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY
Still sitting stopped in traffic are Elaine, Jerry, and George.
They are listening to the radio.
RADIO
And the Mets score two in the eighth
inning.
JERRY
See? If we had stayed, we could have
seen those runs.
GEORGE
I could have had some ice cream. I think
that might have calmed down the nachos.
ELAINE
I'm going to miss 60 Minutes. You know,
I hate to miss 60 Minutes. It's part
of my Sunday weekend wind-down.
JERRY
I don't know how you can unwind with
that clock ticking. It makes me anxious.
KRAMER
All right, gentlemen, I scouted it out.
I think we can get out over there.
JERRY
But that's a one-way street coming this
way. Besides, how am I gonna get all
the way over there?
GEORGE
Just inch over. You worm your way.
ELAINE
Just do it, Jerry. Uhh. This exhaust.
I'm gonna throw up.
KRAMER
You know, you should make yourself throw
up.
ELAINE
Huh?
KRAMER
You know you're going to.
JERRY
All right, I'm worming.
KRAMER
Hey, Jerry. You know who the grand marshal
is of this thing? None other than Miss
Chita Rivera.
JERRY
They're not letting me in.
GEORGE
My hand is out.
JERRY
Well, I think we're gonna need more
than a hand. They have to see a human
face.
ELAINE
You sure you want his face?
KRAMER
No, no, no. It was María Conchita Alonso.
GEORGE
This guy's giving me the stare-ahead.
JERRY
The stare-ahead. I hate that. I use
it all the time.
GEORGE
Look at me! I am man! I am you!
The man in the other car looks over at George. Elaine, sitting
behind George, aids in the cause by pleading to the man by mouthing
the words, "Hi, can we go in?"
GEORGE
All right, he's letting you in. Thank
you! Creep.
KRAMER
Oh! I know who it is. Stacy Keach.
JERRY
One more lane to go.
GEORGE
All right! We're here!
Just as Jerry is about to enter the one-way street, Lamar and
his maroon Golf cut him off.
LAMAR
Oh, look who's here. My old buddy, black
Saab.
JERRY
Maroon Golf.
LAMAR
Where you goin', black Saab? You seem
to be a tad askew.
JERRY
Could you move your car back a little?
LAMAR
Oh. Sorry. I seem to have cut you off.
ELAINE
All right, I think I know where this
is going, and I am going somewhere else.
Elaine pushes George's seat forward slamming his head onto the
dashboard. She gets out.
JERRY
You can't do that. You can't just leave
the group.
ELAINE
I've been trying to leave this group
for 10 years. Vaya con dios.
KRAMER
¿Con dios? Well, that's rude.
JERRY
Can you believe her?
GEORGE
Yeah. I'll see you later.
JERRY
Where are you going?
GEORGE
The movies. Blimp is playing right there.
JERRY
You're going to that again? Why? Just
to do that stupid line?
GEORGE
It's a performance, Jerry. Like what
you do.
JERRY
That's not what I do.
GEORGE
Isn't it?
JERRY
Maybe a little. Ah, hell, I guess it
is.
George leaves.
KRAMER
You know, actually, Jerry, you haven't
worked a room that big in a while.
STOCK FOOTAGE
Taxis stuck in traffic.
INT. TAXI CAB - DAY
Elaine sits in the back.
ELAINE
Look at that guy's dog. I hate it when
their ears get flipped inside out like
that. Why doesn't he fix it?
She moves so she can yell out the driver's open window.
ELAINE
Hey! Fold your dog's ear back!
She leans back.
ELAINE
Ooh! This isn't moving! I could walk
faster than this.
CAB DRIVER
No, you can't.
ELAINE
Yes, I can. Here. I'm outta here.
She pays her fare and gets out.
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS
She starts to walk. The cab starts to move.
ELAINE
Oh, now it's moving. Oh, yeah. I knew
it. Hey! Hey!
The cab stops and she gets back in.
INT. TAXI CAB - CONTINUOUS
CAB DRIVER
Where to?
ELAINE
That's cute. That's really cute. Oh!
Come on! All right. Bye again.
She pays and gets out again.
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS
Again, the cab starts moving when she gets out.
ELAINE
Hey. Taxi! Taxi!
She starts to run after the taxi which starts to move faster.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
George sits down next to two attractive women.
GEORGE
Ladies. I, uh, I haven't seen this before.
LADY 1
What is that dot?
LADY 2
Oh, I think someone has one of those
funny laser pointers.
A red laser moves around the movie screen. Everyone laughs as
the dot rests on the breasts of the movie actress.
INT. MOVIE LOBBY - DAY
The laser pointer guy uses his laser to point at a box of Skittles
and RC Cola.
LASER GUY
Gimme a box of those and one of those.
GEORGE
Excuse me, are you the guy with that
funny laser?
LASER GUY
The laser's not funny. I'm funny.
GEORGE
Yeah. The thing is, I, uh...I had this
little zinger of my own I wanted to
try.
LASER GUY
Uh-huh.
GEORGE
It's right in the explosion scene. So
if you could just...leave me a little
window. You know, my, uh, my aunt had
a thing removed with a laser. All right,
I don't want to interrupt your meal,
so...
INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY
Kramer and Jerry sit listening to the radio.
RADIO What a comeback for the New York Mets-- 6 runs in the bottom
of the ninth.
JERRY
I've gotta see this game. If it wasn't
for this guy, we could get out of here.
LAMAR
This traffic's a killer, ain't it?
KRAMER
You want to get outta here? Here's what
we do. We leave the car here, we take
the plates off, we scratch the serial
number off the engine block, and we
walk away.
JERRY
Walk away?
KRAMER
You've got insurance. You tell them
that the car was stolen, and then you
get another one free.
JERRY
Isn't there a deductible?
KRAMER
All right, what is your deductible?
JERRY
I don't know.
KRAMER
Yes, because they've already deducted
it.
JERRY
From what?
KRAMER
The car, which we're leaving. So the
net is zero. See you pocket the money,
if there is any, and you get a new car.
JERRY
We're not leaving the car!
KRAMER
All right. If you refuse to grow up
and scam your insurance company, you'll
have to work this out with maroon Golf.
JERRY
Absolutely not. He sped up.
RADIO
Swung on, line hard toward left center
field. That's in the gap, that's a base
hit.
JERRY
I'm ready to talk.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY
George and the ladies are sitting in their seats.
LADY 1
Hey! There's that laser guy again.
LADY 2
He's funny. I never meet anyone funny.
LADY 1
I know. A sense of humor is so much
more important to me than looks or hair.
LADY 2
Mmm, yeah.
There's an explosion on the screen. The laser moves around the
screen and everyone laughs.
GEORGE
That's gotta hurt!
Everyone stops laughing.
GEORGE
It's...gotta hurt! Hurt! Because...Aaarrrrrgh!
George stands up.
GEORGE
Damn you, laser guy! You had to grab
it all with your lowbrow laser shtick!
You're just a prop comic! Where's the
craft?!
The laser guy points the laser at George's head.
LADY 1
Look! It's on the bald guy.
LADY 2
I am so glad we came to this showing.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Kramer is talking to Lamar while Jerry waits in his car. Kramer
walks to Jerry.
KRAMER
Ok, here's the deal. He wants you to
acknowledge that you cut him off with
an "I am sorry" wave.
JERRY
What's that?
KRAMER
You raise the hand, lower the head--
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The buttons are
really big on the car. I don't understand
it. I haven't read the manual. Ooh!"
You get my drift.
JERRY
Ok!
Jerry puts both hands up over his head and does the "I'm Sorry"
wave.
LAMAR
Hallelujah. Praise the lord. But I'll
take it.
KRAMER
Yes! All right, Lamar, back it up a
little bit so we can get out now.
Kramer gets in the car. George shows up and climbs into the back
seat.
GEORGE
All right. At last, we're finally gettin'
out of here.
JERRY
What's that on your forehead?
GEORGE
It's probably chocolate.
JERRY
Hey, is that one of those laser pointers?
KRAMER
Hey, Jerry, crank up the Floyd. It's
a George laserium!
GEORGE
All right, stop it! Stay away from my
breasts! Chest!
JERRY
See ya around maroon Golf. And, by the
way, that was an "I'm not sorry" wave.
LAMAR
What was that?
JERRY
I'm glad I cut you off, because black
Saab rules! So long, jackass!
As Jerry pulls into the one way street, a taxi comes down the
street and blocks him in. In the taxi is Elaine.
JERRY
Elaine?!
ELAINE
Jerry?!
LAMAR
Jackass? So I'm a jackass now?
EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
The apartment is empty.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Jerry stands in front of the one way street yelling at the cars.
JERRY
So if everyone would just put their
cars in reverse at the same time, we
can do this. All right, on the count
of three. Can everyone hear me? Hey,
amigo, are you paying attention?
PUERTO RICAN MAN
Buenos dias, my friend.
JERRY
Not you! The guy in the Amigo.
INT. TAXI CAB - DAY
Elaine sits frustrated in the cab.
ELAINE
Uh, well, uh, here--here is good.
TAXI DRIVER
Oh, yeah, sure, and now I'm gonna be
stuck here. But you knew the way to
go! You went to college!
ELAINE
Hey, I went to Tufts! That was my safety
school! So don't talk to me about hardship.
She pays the driver and gets out.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Elaine walks up to Jerry.
ELAINE
Boy, eh, can you believe this mess?
JERRY
Elaine, why did you have the cab come
down the street?! We were almost out!
LAMAR
So that was your girlfriend that blocked
you in. That's real good.
ELAINE
I'm not his girlfriend. Well, actually,
we used to date, but not anymore.
JERRY
Elaine, he doesn't need-
LAMAR
Used to date? So I guess you found out
he's a jackass.
JERRY
'Cause that's what's gonna happen.
Kramer and George walk along eating churros.
KRAMER
Wow. He's givin' you a mustache. Where
is this guy?
GEORGE
Don't look around. Don't look around.
That's what he wants.
ELAINE
All right. Well, I'll see ya. Hey, George,
I think there's a sniper lookin' to
pop ya.
Elaine leaves.
GEORGE
This thing can't hurt me, can it? I
mean, it is a laser. What if it hits
my eye?
JERRY
I don't know.
GEORGE
I can't be blind, Jerry The blind are
courageous.
KRAMER
You'll be fine as long as it doesn't
hit you right in the pupil, 'Cause then
the whole ball will go up like the Death
Star. Tchoo! I gotta go find a bathroom.
Kramer leaves.
JERRY
Hold it, George. Don't move. It's right
between your eyes.
GEORGE
Oh, my god.
JERRY
Hey, there's the soda guy.
LAMAR
Hey, jackass! Get me a diet Dr. Pepper!
JERRY
All right!
George stands petrified.
EXT. BARRICADE - DAY
A police barricade set up on the parade route prevents a crowd
of people from crossing. Elaine pushes her way through the crowd.
OLDER MAN
Hey, hey, hey!
OLDER WOMAN
Wha--ow!
ELAINE
Oh, this is nuts! I can't get across
anywhere!
OLDER MAN
Well, none of us can! We're trapped!
OLDER WOMAN
Ow!
ELAINE
Hey! Hey, everyone. This way. I think
we can get out through here.
Elaine picks up a nylon flap that covers the sides of some bleachers.
OLDER MAN
Oh, I don't know if that's such a good
idea.
ELAINE
Look! No one knows how long this parade
is gonna last! They are a very festive
people. All I know is that it's Sunday
night, and I have got to unwind! Now
who's with me?!
OLDER WOMAN
Father?
PRIEST
None of us saw the nylon flap. That
might mean something.
PREGNANT WOMAN
Oh, all right, all right!
People start going under the bleachers.
ELAINE
All right! Come on. Come on. Let's go.
Let's go.
BUSINESS MAN
But it's dark!
ELAINE
Get in there!
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY
Kramer looks for a bathroom. He sees a sign that reads, "Rest
rooms are for patrons only." There's another sign that reads
apartment for sale.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
There's a knock at the door and the sales woman answers it. It's
Kramer.
KRAMER
Yes, uh, I'm interested in the apartment.
SALES WOMAN
Yes! Come in, come in.
KRAMER
Ok.
SALES WOMAN
I'm Christine Nyhart.
KRAMER
Oh. Delicious to meet you.
SALES WOMAN
Did the broker send you over?
KRAMER
Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh,
H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist
and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist.
And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place
where I can settle down with my, uh,
peculiar habits, and, uh, the women
that I frequent with. (sniffing wall)
Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?
SALES WOMAN
The asking price is $1.5 million.
KRAMER
Oh, I spend that much on after shave.
Yes, I buy and sell men like myself
every day. Now, I assume that there's
a waterfall grotto?
SALES WOMAN
No.
KRAMER
How about a bathroom?
SALES WOMAN
It has 4.
KRAMER
Yes, and where would the absolute nearest
one be?
SALES WOMAN
Just down the hall.
KRAMER
Oh, thank you.
He saunters to the bathroom.
INT. BLEACHERS - DAY
Elaine leads everyone under the bleachers. Food falls from the
bleachers landing on them.
ELAINE
Oh, don't worry. We'll get you home
to your husband real soon.
PREGNANT WOMAN
I'm not married.
ELAINE
Well, I, for one, really respect that.
PREGNANT WOMAN
Oh, thank you.
ELAINE
Hey! Guess who's not married.
OLDER MAN
Is the boyfriend still in the picture?
ELAINE
Come on, father, you can make it.
PRIEST
No, I can't. I've got a bad hip. Go
on without me.
ELAINE
No! I won't!
PRIEST
Leave me! you must.
ELAINE
All right. Take it easy.
ELAINE
All right, we can move faster without
father o'gimpy.
PRIEST
I heard that!
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Jerry stands next to his car with a drink.
LAMAR
You know, I don't think I've ever seen
a man driving a Saab convertible. Still
haven't.
JERRY
Ho ho!
George returns wearing mirrored sunglasses.
JERRY
What seems to be the problem, officer?
GEORGE
They're for protection, Jerry. Can you
tell where I'm lookin'?
JERRY
At me?
GEORGE
No.
JERRY
Oh. It's back.
GEORGE
Bring it on, baby
JERRY
What if it gets in the side?
GEORGE
The side?
JERRY
Yeah. Wouldn't it just bounce back and
forth between your cornea and the mirror,
faster and faster, getting more and
more intense, until finally-
George rips off his glasses.
GEORGE
All right!
JERRY
Oh. It's in your eye now.
George runs off screaming. Kramer runs up to Jerry with a Puerto
Rican flag draped around him.
KRAMER
Hola, Jerry! I'm into this Puerto Rican
day! The sights! The sounds! The hot,
spicy flavor of it all! It's caliente,
Jerry!
JERRY
Kramer, the Mets have got men on base!
KRAMER
Yeah, I know! I was watchin' the game.
JERRY
You were watchin'? Where?
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Jerry sits in the apartment watching TV.
JERRY
Oh, that was a strike! Did you see that?!
SALES WOMAN
Would you like to see the rest of the
apartment, Mister, um--
JERRY
Eh...Varnsen. Kel Varnsen. Actually,
this room intrigues me. Why is it called
the TV room?
SALES WOMAN
Well, it's--
JERRY
Balk?! How was that a balk?! You have
any snacks?
SALES WOMAN
Mr. Varnsen, if you like the apartment,
I should tell you I've also had some
interest from a wealthy industrialist.
JERRY
Not Pennypacker!
SALES WOMAN
You know him?
JERRY
I wish I didn't. Brace yourself, madam,
for an all-out bidding war. But this
time, advantage Varnsen!
INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY
George and Kramer sit in the car. George looks in the rear view
mirror.
GEORGE
Wait a second. I think I see where that
laser guy is. No! Don't look! Don't
look. Oh, yeah, that's him. Ok. I'm
gonna sneak up on him. Now the hunted
becomes the hunter.
George exits the car.
INT. BLEACHERS - DAY
Elaine and the group reach the end of the bleachers.
ELAINE
We should be able to get across right
through here!
She lifts the nylon flap to find a brick wall.
OLDER WOMAN
It's a dead end!
ELAINE
Oh, no! I thought--
BUSINESS MAN
You thought?! We're gonna die in the
dark! I knew it! I knew it! We're gonna
die!
ELAINE
Get a hold of yourself!
Elaine slaps the man. He shoves her, she shoves back. They grab
each other and kiss.
PREGNANT WOMAN
Oh, come on!
OLDER WOMAN Oooh!
ELAINE
Sorry. Somebody...help us!
EXT. BLEACHERS - DAY
Lots of people sit on the bleachers. A cop stands guard.
MAN
!Mira! !Mira! Stacy Keach!
ELAINE
We're down here! Help!
MAN
There's people down there! Hold on!
They lift the floorboards to reveal Elaine and her group.
ELAINE
Let us out. There's an unmarried pregnant
woman down here.
PREGNANT WOMAN
Don't judge me!
ELAINE
Help us up so we can cross the street?
POLICE OFFICER
Nah, nah, You can't cross here. There's
a parade.
ELAINE
But we've come so far. We just want
to unwind.
POLICE OFFICER
Hey, what can I tell ya?
They close the floor boards.
INT. BLEACHERS - DAY
BUSINESS MAN
Wanna make out some more?
ELAINE
Oh, god! Let us out!
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY
George hides behind a van and sees a man with a pen. He sneaks
up and grabs the pen and destroys it. He ends up with ink all
over his hands.
GEORGE
That wasn't a laser pen.
DELIVERY MAN
No. It's just a pen.
The delivery man laughs.
GEORGE
Oh, that's funny
DELIVERY MAN
No. You have, like, a dot on your face.
Whoever's doing that is very clever.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Kramer lights a cigar with a sparkler.
KRAMER
Come on, man. You need to lighten up.
You know, a feeling like this only happens
once a year.
He tosses the sparkler into the back seat of Jerry's car where
it lands on the Puerto Rican flag.
KRAMER
Yeah, it's like this every day in Puerto
Rico.
Lamar starts to laugh as he sees the smoke rise.
KRAMER
See, now you're getting the spirit of
it, huh?
Kramer smells the smoke, turns, and sees the fire.
KRAMER
Ooh! !Dios mio!
He grabs the flag, throws it onto the sidewalk and stops on it.
MAN
Hey! There's a guy burning the Puerto
Rican flag!
BOB
Who! Who is burning the flag?!
KRAMER
Oh, no.
BOB
Him?!
CEDRIC
That's not very nice.
KRAMER
It was an accident.
BOB
Do you know what day this is? Because
I know what day this is, they know what
day this is, so I was wondering if you
know what day this is!
CEDRIC
Because it's Puerto Rican day.
BOB
Maybe we should stomp you like you stomp
the flag! What do you think of that?
KRAMER
Now look, I just have one thing to say
to you boys. Mama!
Kramer runs off screaming. The others give chase.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
The sales woman lets George in.
SALES WOMAN
Right this way, Mr. Vandelay.
GEORGE
Well, this is a lovely apartment. Lovely!
My kids are gonna go crazy. I, uh, I
wonder if I could see the bathrooms.
Preferably one with some paint thinner
and, uh, some rags?
SALES WOMAN
It's down the hall.
George walks to the bathroom, but stops when he sees Jerry.
JERRY
Oh, hello...
GEORGE
Art.
JERRY
Mr. Vandelay, of course.
SALES WOMAN
You two know each other?
Kramer bursts through the door.
SALES WOMAN
Mr. Pennypacker!
KRAMER
Uh, yes, uh, I--I wanted to, uh, stop
by and make sure that my shark tank
fits-- uh, hello.
SALES WOMAN
Mr. Pennypacker, this is Mr. Vandelay,
And you know Mr. Varnsen
KRAMER
Uh, Varnsen.
JERRY
Pennypacker.
KRAMER
Vandelay.
GEORGE
Pennypacker. Varnsen.
JERRY
Vandelay. Wait a second. Mr. Pennypacker,
if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is
also here, then who's watching the factory?
KRAMER
The factory?
JERRY
The Saab factory?
KRAMER
Jerry, that's in Sweden.
George turns on the TV as Jerry runs to the window just in time
to see a mob attacking his car.
JERRY
My car!
KRAMER
Well, you know, it's like this every
day in Puerto Rico.
GEORGE
Jerry, the Mets lost.
JERRY
I love a parade!
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - NIGHT
Jerry's car is stuck in a stairwell outside a building. Kramer,
George, and Jerry admire the mob's handiwork.
GEORGE
How do you suppose they did that?
KRAMER
Well...there's no logical explanation.
All right. Well, shall we go home?
JERRY
Well, what about my car?
KRAMER
Well, Jerry, you can't deduct it now.
Elaine approaches the group. She is totally disheveled with popcorn
in her hair and her clothing stained.
JERRY
Hey, there's Elaine.
ELAINE
Hey.
JERRY
Well, you look, uh...relaxed.
ELAINE
Well, it is Sunday night, and you know
how I like to unwind.
Lamar drives up in his maroon Golf.
LAMAR
Hey, black Saab. Looks like that building
cut you off! Ha ha ha! See ya around!
He drives off.
JERRY
Well, at least he didn't-
LAMAR
Jackass!
Jerry sets his car alarm.
JERRY
Somebody remember where we parked.
KRAMER
This was a fun day. It's nice to get
out.
The foursome walk off as a laser lights up George's rear end.
THE END
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