[Stan's house, day. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman watch TV from the
couch. Cartman is eating a bowl of chips]
Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.
Maybe he caught a disease and died.
That'd be so awesome.
Dude that's not funny. You shouldn't
joke about that.
You guys! You guys! I have awesome
You have AIDS?
No. This Saturday, for my birthday,
my Mom says she's takin' me to Casa
Bonita, in Denver, and I get to invite
Wow! Casa Bonita?!
What's Casa Bonita?
Dude, haven't you ever been there?!
It's a big Mexican restaurant where
they have, like, cliff jumpers and Black
Bart's Cave and all kinds of stuff!
It's like the Disneyland of Mexican
This Saturday! Awesone! Casa Bonita!
Casa Bonita! Food and fun in a festive
atmosphere. Casa Bonita!
Who said I'm inviting you?
You... your Mom said you could take
Yes. Three friends. You're not my friend.
Wuh ih uh... Weh come on, Kyle, who
the hell else are you gonna take besides
Stan and Kenny?
I'm gonna take Butters. He invited me
to his birthday party last month, so
I owe him one.
Butters?! You're gonna take THAT butthole?!
Because Butters isn't a total dick to
I have never been a dick to you.
Oh please! All you ever do is call
me names and rip on me for being Jewish!
Kyle, when have I ever ripped on you
for being a Jew?
[in the playground. Craig is there instead of Kenny] Oh yeah?!
Well you're a stupid Jew!
[in the playground, by the school's back doors] You're a Jew!
[in Cartman's room. Cartman is wearing a crown] Shut your God-damned
[at Kyle's house, on the front steps] Good job, Jew!
[singing the Dreidl song with Kyle's family and Stan] Jew...
[leaving his seat in class] Shutup Jew!
[at Cartman's house, with outfits] You're Jewish!!
[seated on a curb with the other boys] Dude, he's Jewish!
[staking out a house] Jew!
[on Nightline, seated next to Stan] Jew!
[in Cartman's dining room] Jew!
[at the side of a road, with Tweek and with their parents] Jew!
[next to stacks of lumber, as Kyle is about to whack him] Jew!
[at a barn, through a hole on the roof] Jew!
[Stan's room. Kyle reads a Bible] Jew?!
[At the Costa Rican rainforest, during practice] "I told you
Jewish people don't have rhythm." "Fuck off, Cartman"
Okay, except maybe for that one time.
You've always been a dick to me, Cartman,
and I'm not inviting you.
Kyle, you don't understand! Casa Bonita
is my most favorite place in the whole
world. I'll just, I'll just die if you
don't take me! Please!
Sorry, my mind's made up.
Well fuck you, Kyle!! I don't wanna
go to your faggy birthday party anyway!
I'd much rather hang out at home than
have to be around you and your Jew mom
for a day! Kiss my ball, asshole!!
Dude, I totally didn't mean that, Kyle.
Ah I really really wanna go to Casa
Bonita. I'm sorry we had that fight
just now. You know, I mean, I said some
things, you said some things, but, I
think it was good and we we've moved
I'm not inviting you to Casa Bonita.
Well fuck you, Kyle!! I hope you die!
I hope you fucking die!
[Cartman's house, night. Cartman sleeps...]
Casa Bonita! Come on, you guys! Oh,
awesome!! Come on, you guys! Black
Bart's Cave! Wow, cliff divers! More
I'm not inviting you, Cartman. You can't
No! Noooo! Casa Bonita! Noooo! AAAAH!!
Oh... God-damnit, I have to get invited
to go! I'm just gonna have to start
being nice to Kyle!
[Kyle's house, next day. Cartman approaches the front door in
a nice sweater and rings the bell. Kyle answers]
That isn't it, Cartman.
What isn't it?
That's not being nice! That's just putting
on a nice sweater!
...I don't understand the difference.
I know you don't.
Jimmy! Hey Jimmy, wait up! Dude, uh
I need your help on something.
Well, sure, Eric. W-w-waht seems to
be the p-p-p-prrroblem?
Well, everybody likes you, Jimmy, a-and
you seem to be really good with people,
so, I was wondering if you could tell
me, how "do" you act nice to people?
Well, the best thing is not to act nice,
Eric. Uh, the best thing is to be genuinely
Okay, so how do you act genuinely nice
Well, Eric, pah part of being nice is
just making people smile and laugh.
The best way to do that is by telling
a fan-tastic joke or a humorius anti-d-
Well, like, try this one on for size:
Ing-mar ...Bergman. Now you say, "Ingmar
Take that, Jimmy! And that! And don't
you ever talk bad about Kyle again!
Kyle is my friend! And if you say you
had sex with his mom one more time,
I'm gonna really let you have it! You
hear me?! Oh, Kyle. Hey.
Do you really think that beating up
a handicapped kid is being nice?
Uh... He-hey Kyle! Knock knock. Knock
[The school cafeteria. Cartman is looking at a picture. A tear
wells up in his left eye. The picture's frame reads "I Had A
Good Time at CASA BONITA," and the picture within is one of Cartman,
his mom, and the mariachis in the background. He hears Kyle's
Yeah, Casa Bonita, this Saturday!
Wow, that's gonna be so fun!
Yeah, it'll be awesome. Just the four
[The school hall, the bell rings. Red and Jordan walk one way,
Kyle and Craig the opposite way. Keven opens up his locker. Kyle
stops at his locker, and Cartman walks up]
How are you going to try to get invited
to Casa Bonita this time?
I'm not, Kyle. I know you already told
Butters he could go.
Oh. Well... yeah. I, I did.
So, fine, Kyle, but honestly, I never
meant to make you feel like you didn't
matter at all to me. I know we argue
all the time and I give you tons of
crap, but we've also been through a,
a lot together, and... maybe that alone
doesn't make us friends, but it makes
us something. So, ...whatever, you know,
just... ah I hope... things will be
I'm still not inviting you to Casa Bonita.
I know, Kyle. I'll see ya later.
Eh... hey, Cartman? You really don't
care that you can't go?
I care, sure, but I hope it doesn't
mean you and me and Stan and Kenny can't
hang out anymore.
That's exactly what I wanted to hear
from you all along. Ah uh I still have
to take Butters, but... I hope things
can be cool too.
And, and hey, if for some reason Butters
can't go to Casa Bonita, you can take
Sweet, whatever. Bingo!
[Cartman's house, Friday night. Cartman leads Butters into his
What's this all about, Eric?
Butters, can you keep a secret?
Well, sure I can!
For the past five days I've been looking
out into space for a school project.
This morning, at 3:45 a.m. I... caught
first sight of something terrible.
A meteor. A meteor the size of Wyoming,
heading right for earth.
Now look, ah I could be wrong. I ...pray
that I'm wrong, but, I just want you
to take a look and... see what you think.
Do you see anything?
I just see stars.
Keep looking. Sometimes it takes your
eyes a minute to adjust.
Nope, uh I don't see any... Oh wait.
Oh my God! I see it. I see it! It's
a meteor! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Does it look like it's getting
It is! It is getting clsoer! Oh my God!
Oh my God! That meteor is the size of
Wyoming and it's on a collision course
When do you think uh it'll get here?
I, I don't know, I, have to do some
calculations. 10 to the power of 1
base 9 divided by pi plus 5 minus 3.
According to my calculations, that meteor
is going to hit Earth in less than four
Oh, you mean we're gonna die?!
No! No, Butters, we are going to live!
Do you hear me?! We are going to live!
We just... We've gotta find a bomb shelter!
Wha...? Where is there a bomb shelter??
Stan's Uncle Jimbo! He has a bomb shelter
in his back yard! Come on, Butters!
[Jimbo's house. Cartman and Butters head for the bomb shelter]
Here we go! The bomb shelter's down
Oh God! Oh Jesus!
All right, we should be safe in here.
This dried food and water should last
us for weeks.
But what about everyone else? I have
to tell my parents so they can come
No! Butters! I can't let you risk it.
I'll go up and get the others.
Are you sure?
I'm not sure of anythng anymore. Now
Butters, listen: No matter what happens,
no matter what you hear, do not come
out! If I don't make it back in time
with the others, then it will be up
to you to repopulate the Earth.
But I'm the only one down here. What
am I supposed to repopulate with?
Well, you know, with your wiener. Just
stay down here until you hear word from
me. And... pray, Butters... pray for
Oh God, oh God!
[Kyle's house, Saturday night. Stan and Kenny are dressed in
stripes, Sheila waits in a fur coat, Kyle is in his Sunday best
checkig his watch]
Where is Butters? We were supposed to
leave here forty minutes ago.
Well I think we better just go without
him, Kyle. It's getting late.
Yeah, screw him. Let's go. Oh, finally!
Happy Birthday, Kyle. I just wanted
to stop by and give you your present.
Oh. Thanks, dude.
Hope you have a good one. See you later.
Oh wait. Cartman.
Uh Butters didn't show. You wanna go
to Casa Bonita with us?
Butters didn't show? I I can't believe
it. Uh are you sure you told him the
right time and everything?
I told him 5:30 and we gotta get going.
Well I... really would need to go home
first and get my... Weh no no, I guess
I have everything I need. Oh, okay,
All right, let's go.
Okay, boys. Get in the car.
Casa Bonita, here we come! Casa Bonita!
Oh, hello Chris, Linda.
Hello everyone. Have any of you seen
Butters was supposed to go with us to
Casa Bonita tonight.
We know, but... he hasn't been home
since last night. The police have been
looking everywhere, but... Well, thank
you. Uh, please, let us know if you
find out anything.
Aw dude, weak.
Yeah. Man, that sucks about Butters.
Well, let's get going, shall we?
Nah. Dude, I c-I can't go to have a
birthday party while Butters is missing.
Yeah, it's kinda weird.
Ee-yeah yeah. I think you're right,
but, on the other hand, I think Butters
would want us to go. You know Butters...
Nah, I can't. We should help look for
That's very good of you, boys. We can
postpone Casa Bonita until next Saturday.
Next Saturday?? I'll never be able to
keep Butters in the... In the... depths
of my heart for that long. I sure hope
he... turns up before then.
Dude, we should check over at Stark's
Pond. Butters always hangs out over
Yeah. And then we can try the football
I'll drive you boys.
Oh, God-damnit! How am I gonna keep
Butters down in that bomb shelter for
a whole week?!
[South Park, Sunday. In front of the police station, Officer
Barbrady stands by while one of his men issues the report to
the crowd standing before the dais.]
All right, folks, this is the little
boy we're looking for: Leopold Stotch,
also known as Butters. He's been missing
for two days and was last seen at the
school. Let's go find him.
[The bomb shelter. Butters has found the light switch and is
enjoying the rations stored on the shelves along the wall]
"Dried food rations. Add water to feed
flavored square..." Hello? Hello??
Butters! Oh God, it was... It was horrible!
Wuh, wait, well, what happened??
The meteor... struck the Earth sooner
than I predicted. There was no time...
What about my parents. Did you see them?
There was mass confusion! Pa... panic!
People were crawling all over each other
in the streets! It was... awful! When
it hit, millions were evaporated instantly.
The rest of us... walking around in
a... cloud of... toxic... radiation.
Oh my God, let me see!
No Butters!! If you come up, you'll
get infected too! You best wait for
the radiatino level to go down. Probably...
next week sometime. After Saturday.
How many survivors are there? You should
all come down here.
We can't come down there, or else, we'll
contaminate you, Butters. No... we just
have to survive the best we can.
Wow... Eric, I can never thank you enough
for everything you've done for me.
Thank me by living, Butters. Live. And...
rebuild. I've got to go. Remember,
wait one week for the toxic levels to
go down. On Saturday. G-goodbye! All
right. Just six days, Butters. Sit tight.
[Police station, night. News 4 is covering another announcement
by the police]
Tom, it has now been three days since
the Stotch child has gone missing. Townspeople
continue to search, but hope... is dwindling.
All right, folks. I wanna thank you
for all your efforts. Three days is
a long time, but we've got to keep going
if we're gonna find him.
Heh you're not going to find him. Not
until after Saturday when I go to Casa
Many times in cases like these a child
can trap themselves. It is important
that we spread our search to duct pipes,
wells, and bomb shelters.
What what what?
I say we need to move the search to
ducts, wells, and bomb shelters. Let's
move out, people! Every second counts!
But if you leave me now, you'll take
away the biggest part of me.
Oo-oo-ooooo-oo girl, baby please don't go. Eh,
[the shelter lid opens again] Eric? [rises and looks up the shaft]
Eric, is that you?
Oh God! They're coming! They're coming!
We'be gotta get out of here! They're
coming this way!
Who's coming this way?
The cannibals! Don't you know? The meteor
destroyed all of society, Butters. Now
Earth is ruled by packs of wild humans
gone mad! Those of us who survived are
now being hunted by flesh-starved cannibals!
Oh God! I hate cannibals!
They're coming this way! I can hear
them coming. They'll find you down here
for sure. And when they do, they'll
eat you alive.
We've gotta get you out of here! Come
on! Oh oh no wait, I forgot! The toxic
radiation! Hey wait! We can use this
box! There we go. This should keep
you protected from the toxins.
But I can't see nothin'.
Believe me, Butters, you don't wanna
see what's up there. Now come on. I'll
guide you to a safer location. There
you go. Two more steps and you're at
the top. Good.
Are we out in the destruction?
Yes. There's nothing but smoldering
bodies all around you. Burnt out buildings,
and what used to be our town.
All right, this way, Butters. Just follow
the sound of my voice.
[An open field, night. Butters and Cartman are walking through
the field behind a row of houses, far enough away so that no
sound can reach them]
Right now we're walking by what used
to be people's houses, now just smoldering
burnt piles of rubble.
Huh... Oh, it's terrible.
We're coming now to the crater where
the meteor hit. A hole in the Earth
over two miles in diameter.
[The old gas station]
Here we are at the old gas station.
It survived a lot of the impact. We
might be safe here. Oh my God!
It's a cannibal! Stay back, cannibal!
We've got to fight them off! Stay away
from Butters! He's humanity's last hope!
Awww! He bit me! He bit off my hand!!
Aw man, he's eating my hand like a
piece of chicken! Can you hear the bones
Wait! Look here! There's a dead body
with an axe in the back. I'll pull out
the axe and use it to chop off the cannibal's
head. Hunh! Die!
Ooooh, what happened? What happened?!
The cannibal! The cannibal's dead,
Butters! But he bit me, which means
soon I will have a taste for human flesh
We have no choice, Butters! We have
to lock you away somewhere where even
I can't get to you!
Look! There's an old refrigerator!
Get inside, Butters! I'll break off
the handle so nobody can get to you!
Aren't you coming?
Too late for me. I can already feel
my... body start to... change. No!
Must... fight... it... Don't open this
door for anybody, Butters! No matter
what you hear, stay inside for four
days! Here's some water and food from
Eric, you're the ...best friend in the
whole world. I... I love you.
I love you too, man. I just You look
so delicious! Must eat your brains!
[South Park, next day. Cartman is happily asleep in his bed and
his alarm goes off.]
Hah! It's Wednesday! It's Wednesday!
Only three more days till Casa Bonita.
I'm gonna go through Black Bart's Cave
first. No! I'm gonna watch the cliff
divers first! Maybe if I tell them it's
my birthday, they'll let me cliff-dive
in the pool! Oh, that would be so bad-ass!
[Park County Trash Dump, night. The refrigerator is now there
and begins to heave. Butters kicks his way out of it, having
run out of air]
Finally I can breathe a- Oh my God.
Oh my God, the meteor took out everything!
It's all destroyed. Nothingn left.
Hello? Are there any, are there any
other survivors? Hello? Oh. That must
have been where the library was. And
that was probably the school. Hello?
Oh. I forgot, I gotta watch out for
readioactive cannibals. Is that a cannibal?
Sir? Ma'am? Oh. Aww, it's a little
dog. Well, hello there, Mr. Dog. Looks
like you and me are the only ones who
survive the meteor, heh. We should stick
together, huh, Mr. Dog? Well come on,
we gotta start cleanin' up this mess,
and rebuild this civilization. Boy,
that meteor sure did make everything
[South Park, day. On the highway, Sheila drives the boys towards
their destination. All the boys are now wearing suits instead
of sweaters. Stan, Cartman, and Kenny sit in the back seat]
We're on our way to Casa Bonita! We're
gonna be there very soon. You're gonna
love Casa Bonita, Stan. There, there's
this one part where you can dress up
in Old Western clothes and get your
photo taken in a fake jail.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
"Pretty cool." So, um, should we go
to Black Bart's Cave first or watch
the puppet show? I think we should go
through Black Bart's Cave right away
'cause, we're gonna wanna do it seven
or eight times. And then we'll watch
the cliff divers before the puppet show.
Dude, it's Kyle's birthday. We should
do whatever he wants to do.
What? Fuck Kyle. Ha ha, j-just kidding,
birthday joke. Of course we'll do whatever
Kyle wants, uh. Happy Birthday, Kyle.
Happy Birthday to you. Happy-
STAN, CARTMAN, KENNY
Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear
Kyle. Happy Birthday to you. .
[Park County Trash Dump, day. A worker drives into the dump in
her truck and pulls out stuffed trash bags from the truck bed.]
You take away the biggest part of me.
Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, uh baby please
don't go. Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, I just
had to find my say to you tan...
HAAAAGH! Who are you? Are you infected?
You're not a cannibal, are you?
Oh. Oh good. You're a survivor, like
me. Look, Mr. Dog, another survivor.
And it's a lady, too. That means we
can repopulate the earth. Yippee!
Kid, what are you doin' here?
I'm rebuilding society. Here, take a
look. This is the library, and over
here is the bank. That over there I'm
thinking into a P.F. Chang's or a Bennigan's.
And this is a memorial to Eric Cartman,
the person who gave his life so that
I could rebuild society. Well ma'am,
I guess we should start repopulatin'
the earth, huh? I'm ready whenever
Kid, I don't know what you think is
going on, but this place is a dump.
Hey, that's not very nice! This is my
first society! I'm doin' my best!
No, I mean you're at the garbage dump.
The town is right over there, everybody
is fine, and I think they've been looking
for you for over a week.
Oh... Ma'am, can I use your phone?
[Casa Bonita, night. Sheila pulls into a parking space]
We're here! We're here! Casa Bonita!
Aw man, this is gonna be so great!
Wait up, Eric. We need to stay together.
Uh, hold on boys, that's my cell phone.
Hello? Yes. Oh, that's great! Boys,
they found Butters. He's okay.
I knew he'd turn up.
Yes, Eric Cartman is with us. Why?
Yes, I will certainly let him know.
Thank you. Well, it appears that Eric
here is responsible for Butters missing,
because he wanted to go to Casa Bonita.
Eric, the South Park Police are already
on their way here to have a little talk
But... Casa Bonita.
I should have known better! You never
cared about my birthday at all!
But I... but... Stand back!
Cartman, stop it!
I... am going... to Casa... Bonita!
It's too late, fatass. They'll be here
in less than a minute.
\ Ah! Eh. Nuh! Less than a minute!
Less than a minute!
[Casa Bonita, inside. Cartman races into the restaurant]
Oh, awesome!! Excuse me, excuse me?
Can I get to eat some of your- Thank
you. Thank you. Oh, I've got to get
to Black Bart's Cave! Ah! Excuse me?
Excuse me! Coming through to Black Bart's
Cave! Oh! Oh, scary! Look, a skeleton!
Oh man, I'm so scared! Oh! Oh! Oh,
that was awesome! Oh! Oh! Cliff divers!
Come on! Come on, dive! Dive, asshole!
Oh, awesome! That was cool, huh? Whoa.
Sopapillas! Can I get some sopapillas
please?! Sweeet! Oh! Booth! Puppet
show! Puppet show!
All right, kid! End of the line!
Ah. Uh. Yeeeesss!
Well kid, you made an entire town panic,
you lost all your friends, and now you're
going to Juvenile Hall for a week! Huh,
was it wirth it?